


Feels Like Home

by Lyssala



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Friendship, One Shot Collection, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Romance, Suggestive Themes, alternative universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 06:57:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 100
Words: 287,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2015415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyssala/pseuds/Lyssala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even when their homes were a thing of the long past, they always found a home in the comfort of each other. A series of one shots ranging from Early Series to Post Series to AUs showing Eren and Mikasa's relationship throughout their lives. Its a mix of prompts and drabbles. Each one rated from K-M. Its a collection that's very dear to my heart :3</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scarf

**Author's Note:**

> What started off as a place to post my Eremika week prompts, it quickly became a home for my many drabbles and requests for this precious pairing. I'll post a chapter a day here until its caught up with my FF.net account which holds all current chapters. Each chapter is individually rated and the reasons for why its rated is stated. 
> 
> November 9th – Scarf  
> Pairing: Mikasa/Eren  
> Setting: Right after Chapter 50 when they get back to the Wall  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 1104  
> Notes: I have no idea if the change in Eren is going to be this dramatic and this visible, but a girl can hope. This story was written back before chapter 51 was released.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 9th - Scarf
> 
> Pairing: Mikasa/Eren  
> Setting: Right after Chapter 50 when they get back to the Wall  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 1080

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if the change in Eren is going to be this dramatic and this visible, but a girl can hope xD Also, there is a lot of Brot3 in almost all my stories here. While they focus on Eren and Mikasa, I also don't think Armin is ever far behind. Plus boy sees right through them so its super fun to write.

The medic bay was too cramped; Eren could barely squeeze by the people bustling around the area. After getting back in the safety of Wall Rose the local medical team got their hands on their wounded and took them away for immediate treatment before transportation came to travel to a secure location.

Eren pushed his way through the people; he knew they were busy helping his comrades who needed it, but he had to get through. They did a quick look over of him and decided he didn’t need immediate action and told him to wait outside till they were done treating the people who needed it, but Eren wasn’t having it.

His eyes looked over the people laying down, the ones being treated. Jean was laying nearby, still unconscious but breathing. Commander Smith had one arm over his face as they worked on clearing the infection in the arm he lost. Eren couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt at seeing them and the others but he still kept looking for that bright red against all the browns and whites in the room.

Eren had carried Mikasa out of that hell and made sure she was safe on his horse with him. When they finally reached the wall, Eren took her back in his arms to make sure she could get help for her legs and ribs. What he hadn’t counted on was the medical workers taking her from him and telling him to stay put until they were done.  Like hell he was staying put. Did they know what they had just lost? Did they know what he had almost lost? If they thought she was getting anywhere out of his sight they were insane.

“I don’t think you are supposed to be in here!” one of the medical workers called out after him, but Eren kept squeezing through the people hard at work. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw it. That silly scarf she wore at all times. Eren had never really got why she did; he had thought maybe she was just always cold. After today though, he understood. It meant much more than just a piece of fabric to her.

He fell to his knees next to her mat, his hands reaching for her arm. “Is everything okay?” His eyes locked with hers before looking over at the now disgruntled workers examining her.

Mikasa looked up at him with that surprised look he knew too well. “I’m fine, they say it’s just one broken bone in my left leg and a fracture in the other.” She pushed herself up to her elbows. “Maybe some broken ribs.”

“I wouldn’t call not being able to walk is ‘fine’.”

“It’s better than the alternative.” Her scarf was covering her mouth, but Eren still saw see her face darken slightly. She had thought they were gonna die, but even then she had kept Eren on the right track. He wasn’t even sure she could see how much strength she always gave him.

Eren reached his hand out to twist his fingers around the fray of her red scarf. He still remembered the day he had given it to her; he didn’t think he would ever forget and clearly neither would she. Eren didn’t know what he had meant when he wrapped it around her. He just wanted her to feel warm, to feel safe, but he had no idea when he passed it to her those feelings would extend so far. He looked up to meet her eyes. And so deep.

“I’m going to keep it that way.” He rubbed the thick fabric between his fingers. They had been bound the moment Eren stepped inside that room. Mikasa had always known it, but Eren, he was only just beginning to realize it.

She merely nodded in response though could see a small smile tugging at her lips. She always understood him better than anyone, as much as he used to hate to admit it.

“Alright, Miss Ackerman,” the medical worker stood up to his feet looking over the secure wraps that were now on her legs and upper body. “We’re gonna have to carry you out and get you to a real bed to bind your legs properly. Are you ready?”

“I got her,” he said dismissing the worker as he dipped his head under Mikasa’s arm, his own arms getting ready to pick her up. Eren felt the disapproving glares at the back of his head.

“I don’t think that’s such a great idea. Why don’t you let us take care of it? We can make sure she doesn’t get hurt worse in travel.”

“Yeah,” he carefully lifted her off the mat. She was all muscle but still weighed as light as a feather to him. Just like when they were kids. “So can I.” He didn’t wait for a response; he just walked by them and towards the front of the building. He felt Mikasa’s grip on his shirt, her arm tight around his neck as her eyes watched his face.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he muttered, realizing his actions were much gentler than they had been with her in a long time. After all he had put her through it was no wonder she was surprised. Eren felt his cheeks heating up as she continued to watch him, as well as the other members of their team now too. 

“You don’t have to do this, Eren. It’s really okay. I’m okay.”

“Yeah I know that, but I want to.” More heat rose to his cheeks. “Just let me take care of you for once.”

Mikasa dropped her gaze, but Eren saw a red tint across her own cheeks; that didn’t help his own any.

Armin was standing off to the side near their horses. His face looked up from the ground making Eren assume he saw them coming towards him. Armin’s face was worried at first, but his lips quickly twitched into that smug smile of his.

“Shut up, Armin,” Eren carefully helped Mikasa onto his horse once more while he adjusted everything to be able to lead the horse on foot. He’d be able to control the horse better that way so it was less of a bumpy ride for her. Chances are they wouldn’t be taking it fast with all their wounded anyways.

“You do realize your face is as red as her scarf, right?”

“Shut up, Armin.”

 


	2. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 10 – Fight
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Training Days  
> Words: 995  
> Rating: K+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to remember that these kids are just teenagers under a lot of pressure, and just because they are in the military and dealing with a lot more than normal teenagers would, that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t act like them too. So that’s what I used. A girl who likes a boy who can be a real jerk and how that really makes her feel when no one is looking.

Mikasa closed her eyes when she heard Eren’s hands hit the wooden table.

She had done it again.

She didn’t need to look at him to know he was already headed out the door. The room was quiet for a moment, but she heard the nightly chatter pick up again. They were used to Eren getting heated and leaving the area after disagreeing with Mikasa no doubt.

“Don’t worry, Mikasa,” Armin said from nearby. “You know how he is.”

Yeah, she knew better than anyone she supposed with the way she could manage to get him pissed off when she only wanted to help. She gripped her hands against the table and pushed herself to her feet.

“Just give him a little time to cool off, you know he isn’t gonna listen-”

Mikasa felt bad leaving before Armin finished his sentence, but she wasn’t taking this from Eren tonight. She pushed the door open and walked out into the cool night air. She tugged her scarf closer to her while her eyes looked for where he might’ve gone off to.

“What do you want?”

Well, that didn’t take too long. She turned to see Eren leaning up against one of the nearby barracks. “I just wanna talk,” she shrugged slowly walking closer to him. Mikasa already saw the anger in his eyes, the way his body tensed up, the way he looked at her.

“Haven’t you done enough talking? Like, oh I dunno, telling me I clearly wasn’t cut out for this. Again.”

“That isn’t what I meant, Eren.” She crossed her arms against her chest and tried to keep her face calm, to stop her emotions from getting the best of her. It didn’t work; she could feel the hitch in her breath, the ache in her body, and the sting in her eyes. “I only meant-”

“That you don’t think I can handle the military and that I should just pack up and go home because I’m a waste of space?”

“No. I never said that.” She tried to step closer to him, but his glare halted her. “I only want to look out for you. To keep you-”

“Yeah, and that’s great, Mikasa.” Eren crossed his arms as his eyes narrowed at her. “But I don’t need you to baby me. For the last goddamn time I am not your little brother. Stop treating me like one.”

 “I never said you were, but when you do reckless and dangerous things, what do you expect me to do? Sit back and watch you die?”

“You let me handle myself. That’s what you do. It’s none of your damn business anyway what I do. I never asked you to come with me. I _especially_ didn’t ask for a damn babysitter. I never asked for anything.”

He was angry; angrier than she had seen him in a while. How could she tell him the reason she told him to leave was because she wanted him to be in a safe place? A safe home with her where they could be together again. She couldn’t tell him though. Eren wouldn’t understand; or worse, he wouldn’t want it at all.

“I came with you to make sure you didn’t kill yourself.” Mikasa couldn’t bear to bring herself to be mad at him; he was lashing out because of the pain he was still in, all the hurt inside. She knew that, even if he didn’t.

Eren pushed off from the cabin and stared at her with a look she knew from fights before. “I can take care of myself. I don’t need you.”

Mikasa stopped in her tracks.

Eren said things similar to that many times, and each time they hurt, but this time it hurt in the worst ways. She felt the pit of her stomach sink as his last words settled hit her; her nightmare come true. Her eyes dropped from him, but only for a moment.

“I’d say otherwise,” she swallowed hard, hoping he didn’t hear. “Considering I’ve saved your ass quite a few times since we joined.”

His eyes narrowed but he glared away, brushing by her forcefully. “Don’t you dare follow me.”

“I’ll always follow you.” Her voice sounded empty even to her own ears. “Into hell if I have to.” She knew he was long gone, but she couldn’t stop the words from falling from her mouth. She walked over to the barracks he had been leaning on, slipping down to the damp ground. She pushed her scarf over her face, but the comfort she normally found in it wasn’t there.

Mikasa hadn’t even noticed the tears falling from her eyes until she felt a warm arm around her shoulders.

“It’s okay,” Armin leaned his head against hers. “You know he doesn’t mean it. He’s just frustrated right now.”

“I just want to be by his side but he doesn’t even want me near him.” She opened her eyes to look at Armin, his warm face making her feel a little better, like he always did.

“I know, but that’s not the case. There’s never been a time he hasn’t wanted you around. Eren’s just gotta come to his own realization of just why you do what you do but he will, I promise.”

Mikasa nodded before wiping her face on her sleeve.

“Come on, I’ll walk you back,” he pushed himself up to his feet. He reached his hand out to help her up.

“You’re always good to me, Armin,” she pulled herself up to her feet, ready for this night to be over.

“Well, one of us has to be when Eren can be a complete moron.”

 She knew Eren better than anyone, save for Armin and while deep down she knew Armin was right, he was always right, her heart still ached. Eren’s words cut so deep, and he didn’t even know it.

It was the worst feeling she knew, but she’d fight for him over and over.


	3. Heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 11th - Heartbeat
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Right before Mikasa sees Eren emerge from his Titan form for the first time.  
> Words: 740  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said one a day, but these are my really early ones, and its like oh God please get past these lol So speed posting a bit. 
> 
> I always loved this little moment for Mikasa because girl is feeling so much at once and her emotions just can’t even take it. She doesn’t even try to hide it, she just cries and cries because Eren is back in her arms.

Mikasa heard someone calling her name, but for some reason she couldn’t take her eyes off the titan dissolving in the road below her. It was the one who saved her, the one fighting the other titans. She knew it was stupid but she couldn’t help feeling an attachment to it; its presence was so warm to her. She knew she should run, but she couldn’t move. She her eyes refused to leave.

The steam began to clear and suddenly Mikasa couldn’t breathe. She heard her pulse pounding in her ears and she could feel her body moving on its own, down from the roof tops and to the street. Her feet hit the ground before she knew it and she was running. She was running and she couldn’t stop herself. She knew that hair, she knew that body, she knew that face; Mikasa knew it better than she knew her own.

It was impossible. Armin saw him die and God, the look in Armin’s eyes when he told her. She knew. She knew Eren was dead, but her arms reached out and she caught Eren’s body before he hit the ground.  He felt so familiar in her arms. His skin was warm to her touch, his head heavy against hers. She knew him; she had held him many times before. She blinked as she gripped onto him. This couldn’t be happening. Eren was taken from her.

Yet he was still here.

He was the titan who saved her, who saved them. She had no idea how this was possible…how he had done this. They were going to kill him all over again when they found out what he could do…that he was-

He was Eren and that was the end of it. He was her Eren; nothing would change that. Not even death. Her stomach churned. He wasn’t moving at all in her arms. He just slouched against her, not speaking, not stirring. What if…

With her own heart pounding, Mikasa slid her ear down to his chest.

There is was; that steady beat she knew so well. The one she used to fall asleep to at night when she was afraid. The one she used to listen to when they would slack off in the meadows. The one that meant Eren was still with her.

Her grip tightened on him as tears began to spill from her eyes. He was alive. Eren was still with her. She thought she would never see his face again, never hear his voice, never hold him again but he was here.

It took her a moment to realize her voice was crying out in sobs as she held him as close as she possibly could. Nothing was ever going to keep her from him again and he was gonna need it once the military found out what he could do.  He saved her. He saved them but she knew that wasn’t going to matter but nothing really mattered right now.

She buried her face into his chest as she clutched on to him, her tears staining his shirt. She knew people were coming, she could hear them over her cries, but she didn’t care. Let them see her but they had hell coming to them if they thought she would let them touch him.

Mikasa felt a hand grasp onto her shoulder as knees hit the ground next to her. She didn’t have to look over. Only one other person would have come to be with them. Armin’s head fell against Mikasa’s arm and Eren’s shoulder.

“Is he…?” Armin asked his voice hoarse, his hand reaching out to grab a hold of Eren’s.

“He’s alive,” she said, choking back her tears. “He’s alive.” She could still hear Eren’s heartbeat as she held him, his soft but steady breathing against her neck.  People around her were starting to make a fuss. Shouting things. Accusing things.

“Help me move him,” she spoke softly before standing up, taking Eren’s dead weight with her. Armin moved with her until they had him huddled in the corner of the wall. Armin took a hold of Eren while Mikasa crouched down in front of him.

“No one is gonna to take you from us again,” she said. She met Armin’s large eyes before standing in front of them, her back to them facing the crowd that had begun to form. They’d have to go through her first.


	4. Cruel World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 12 – Cruel World
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa (Plus BROT3)  
> Setting: After the trio gets moved to Wall Rose.  
> Words: 1030  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is from Armin’s perspective just to mix it up a little bit. I also couldn’t remember if Armin’s Grandpa was still alive and comes with them? I just reread the manga and I didn’t remember seeing anything about it but I just always headcanon that they all live together once they are forced to leave their town.

Armin looked up at the small house he was led to. Well, house was an overstatement; it was basically a one room shack shoved between other buildings that he assumed were homes. It was the middle of the night though so it was hard to tell.

“Okay, guys, I’m sorry. It was the best I could do,” Hannes fumbled with the key before swinging the door open. “Go on.”

Armin stood looking at the open door but a tug from Eren’s hand got him moving again. It was just as small as he had assumed from the outside; there was one bed off to the side, a small kitchen, a table and chairs, a little couch, and what Armin hoped was a door to a bathroom off to the side. Surprisingly there were some clothes and blankets on the bed, and food on the kitchen counter.

“I got some of the locals to donate a few things,” Hannes said while he went to clear off their bed and lay down some of the blankets. “It’s not much I know, but at least it’s not the streets. The people around here know you guys are just kids, I’m sure they can help and I won’t be too far away either, okay?”

Armin looked over to Eren and Mikasa near him. Eren had his arms crossed, his eyes at the floor while Mikasa was watching him carefully.

“Thank you, it really was nice of you to do this,” Armin spoke up when he knew the other two weren’t gonna say anything.

“Its…it’s the least I could do.” Armin saw Hannes glance over at Eren and Mikasa before walking back to the door. “I’ll check up on you kids in the morning. Try to get some sleep, okay?”

Armin watched Hannes shut the door as silence settled in the room.

“He’s right,” Armin said, looking over to the other two. “We’ll…we’ll have to share the bed, but it’s not like we’ve never done that before.”

Eren and Mikasa still weren’t moving or saying a word.

Armin stepped forward and grabbed onto Eren’s arm. “Come on,” Armin said, slowly walking towards the worn mattress. Surprisingly Eren didn’t put up a fight; Armin assumed Eren was just too tired to even bother and like Armin also assumed, Mikasa was one step behind Eren. Armin stepped aside to let Eren crawl up first, followed by Mikasa, and then himself. Without a word, he pulled the thick blanket over their weary forms and hoped sleep would come all too soon.

Sleep came for him, but not to keep him through the entirety of the night. Every time Armin closed his eyes all he could see was that titan breaking down the walls, his town being destroyed, Mrs. Jaeger…Armin could only imagine how much worse it was for Eren and Mikasa. Not that he had to; he could occasionally hear the choked sobs, the sniffling coming from his friends.

Armin carefully slipped out of the bed, hoping he wouldn’t wake them if they had managed to fall asleep at all, and sat down on a nearby chair that faced the window. The moon was bright in the dark sky. Armin remembered sneaking up to watch the night sky hoping he would see a shooting star. Tonight, it seemed childish to hope for something like that, when really he was just a child.

“Hey, hey,” Eren’s voice was barely a whisper but Armin could still hear it. Armin looked over to see tears running down Mikasa’s face. Eren was talking to her in calm, hushed tones, but Armin couldn’t make out what Eren was saying. He supposed he shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but he was worried about his friends who just lost everything; Mikasa for the second time.

Armin watched Eren who shuffled around before pulling Mikasa close to him, her own arms reaching up to embrace him as well. It wasn’t long before Armin saw Eren’s own tears fall into her hair.

It wasn’t fair. It was just the three of them now; the three of them left alone in the world.

“It’s okay, Eren,” Mikasa’s soft but sorrow strained voice came out through the quiet cries.

At least they had each other. Armin didn’t know what he would do if he had lost either of them and he couldn’t ever imagine what would happen if Eren or Mikasa lost each other. It didn’t take away from the fact they all had lost something: their town, their home, their mom. Mrs. Jaeger had been like a mom to him; she always treated him like her other son and the same for Mikasa.

Armin remembered how Mrs. Jaeger always would tell Mikasa it was okay to call her mom if it was something she was comfortable with. “Ma’am and Mrs. Jaeger are too formal for you, my dear, you’re family,” she would always say. Armin still saw the way Mrs. Jaeger’s face lit up the first time Mikasa did.  Mrs. Jaeger loved Eren more than Armin even knew how to put into words.

He hadn’t noticed tears had begun to fall down his own face.

It just was so cruel to take her away, and not just because of how he felt, but because of his two best friends huddled in the corner of the bed together, whose nightmares would only get worse from now on. When Armin would sleep over, he generally woke up to one of them curled up with the other. He was woken up in the middle of the night enough times to know both of them suffered through nightmares of the past. More often it was Mikasa, but Armin knew today and on it would be Eren too.

He wiped his face and moved to crawl back into their bed. He gently put a hand on Mikasa’s arm to let her and Eren know that he was there for them, like he always would be. Not a moment later he felt Eren’s warm hand over his and the tears came running down Armin’s face once more. He couldn’t help but wonder if the three of them to ever to be able to be happy again.


	5. Beautiful World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 13th - Beautiful World
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: A few weeks after Chapter 50  
> Rating: M (for language and sexual situations)  
> Words: 4552

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I loved writing this one. It was nice to explore the three of them through situations such as love and sexuality. This is just how I feel they would react, especially Armin lol so I hope everyone feels they are in character ^^ I just love writing them being able to just be carefree teenagers for once. 
> 
> This is actually the version that isn't on FF.net, so its the unedited version ;3

Eren hoped to whatever higher power there was that Armin was the only one in the rec hall because what was on Eren’s mind was embarrassing enough to talk about with Armin let alone the rest of his squad. Eren pushed open the wooden door and peered in. A sigh of relief fell from his mouth when he saw the back of Armin’s head at one of the tables. The candle Armin was reading by flickered when Eren walked by causing the whole room to look like it was moving.

Armin looked up from his book, his face a bit confused. “Hey,” he greeted, closing his book slightly. “What’re you doing up?”

“I…couldn’t sleep.” Eren sat down on the bench next to his friend. It wasn’t a lie really. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep so he just didn’t bother.

Armin didn’t look like he was buying it. Why was he so observant? It made hiding anything from him very difficult.

“What’s on your mind?” Armin asked obviously trying to prompt Eren to start talking.

“Who says anything is?”

Armin gave him a look Eren has seen countless times before. The “I see right through your bullshit, Eren, so knock it off” look. “It’s the middle of the night and you’re sitting here instead of passed out, twiddling your thumbs and looking terrified. I say _something_ is.”

Well, there went any of Eren’s excuses.

“Its…well, it’s about a few weeks ago, y’know, when we were all trapped…in the fields.” Eren looked tentatively over at Armin who just stared back with his knowing eyes, and a slight smile.

“So it is about Mikasa then.”

“I never said that,” Eren said, but he felt his cheeks heating up.

“No, but your face does.” Armin removed his finger from his book and turned to face Eren fully. “I couldn’t really see you guys what with…everything that was going on but I knew you were together. Did she say something to you?”

“Ah, yeah,” Eren said. “She…she thanked me for everything I had done, for saving her, and giving her my scarf, but it was her face when she said that. I hadn’t seen her that happy in…God knows how long. Like at the end of it all, she was happy to…be with me.” Eren hadn’t realized he was staring at his hands and when he looked up Armin watching was him.

“That sounds like Mikasa,” Armin said. “But it wasn’t the end.”

“Well, _clearly_ not, but that was because…of me I guess.” Eren hesitated for a moment. “I just looked in her eyes and there was no way in hell I was letting it end there. There was still too much…” he trailed off, his eyes watching the candle.

Armin didn’t say anything for a moment but Eren could still feel Armin watching him.

“Do you finally understand why she’s protected you for so long? It was never because she thought you weren’t capable but because she couldn’t bear to lose you.”

Eren nodded slightly. “And I treated her so shitty for it. It’s a miracle she still talks to me.” He let out a small sigh as he propped his arm up on the table. “The worst part is I was never mad at her; just fucking frustrated with myself. I’m the one who should have been protecting her. All these years it should have been me.”

“You have, more than you give yourself credit for,” Armin said nudging Eren with his elbow. “She’s the reason you got that moronic idea to punch a titan, huh?”

Eren had to laugh; it hadn’t been his best idea. “I had to do something. I wasn’t letting her die there.” He paused again for a moment, wondering if he should even voice came to his mind next; he had come this far though. “I, uh, promised her that we’d always be together.”

“Like it was ever going to be any different,” Armin rolled his eyes at him, but a smile was on his lips. “Eren, maybe you should, you know, tell her all this. Not me.”

“There’s, ah, one more thing.”

Armin gestured for him to continue and Eren knew his face wasn’t about to cool down anytime soon.  “Right before I…I stood up to punch that bastard…you know the one who-”

“Eren, I know, out with it.”

“Mikasa…I think she meant…I think she was going to…kiss me.”

“Oh wow did she.”

“You don’t seem very surprised.”

“I’m not.”

Eren probably should have expected that.

“Maybe you should go finish the job,” Armin said just grinning openly now.

“Right now? It’s the middle of the night.”

“And she’s probably sleeping as much as you are. Trust me. You’ll feel a lot better if you do.”

“But-”

“Go, Eren. If I catch you lingering outside her door, I’ll shove you in there myself.”

“Fine,” he grunted, pushing himself to his feet. He walked towards the door, but glanced back. “Hey, Armin?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

Armin looked over his shoulder to grin at Eren. “Just go.”

He pushed the door open to leave but before the door could shut he heard Armin shout, “It’s about damn time, too!”

Eren walked the familiar path to the room Mikasa was staying in. He knew the way by heart by now, after the amount of times he went to make sure she was okay. His heart was pounding in his chest, his hands wouldn’t stop fiddling around with his shirt, or his pockets, or each other. He didn’t understand why he was acting this way, it was just Mikasa.

There was the problem. He had only recently realized there was no _just_ when it came to her. He couldn’t believe there ever had been; the day he met her, he killed for her. If that’s not binding your life to someone else’s, he wasn’t sure what was. He also knew for so long he was blinded by rage, blinded to the world, and the people who meant the most to him.

He was facing her door before he even knew it. With a hard swallow, he turned the knob and peered into her room. The moonlight was shining in through the window, illuminating the room somewhat. He saw her body in bed but it was impossible to tell if she was awake or not. Well, if she was asleep he wasn’t gonna wake her for something stupid like-

“Who…? Eren? Is that you?” her voice rang out through the room telling Eren that Armin was right. What else was new.

“Ah, yeah, it’s me,” Eren said, stepping inside the door and shutting it quickly behind him.

“Wha-what’s going on? Is something wrong?” Mikasa was already sitting up in bed and from the looks of it about to jump out. While one of her legs was healed the other wasn’t there yet.

“Hey, hey nothing’s wrong I promise.” He hurried to her bed to make sure she’d actually listen to him.

Mikasa eyed him but she made no more moves to dive out of her bed. “Then what is it?”

“Its…nothing,” he shrugged, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Yeah, real smooth, Jaeger.

“From my knowledge you don’t normally come to me at 3am for ‘nothing’. What is it?”

So this is what it was like when your best friends knew you too damn well. “I just…wanted to talk, that’s all.”

Mikasa seemed to accept that answer as she settled down against the backboard of her bed.

That seemed to be the signal to talk. “Well, um, about…I was just thinking…” Oh for fucks sake. This was Mikasa, he had talked to her a million times; this shouldn’t be so hard. Except it was always hard trying to tell someone how much you care when you’ve been a complete asshole.

“I’ve been a complete asshole.” Well, it was a start.

“What’re you talking about?” Her face was twisted in confusion.

“To you, Mikasa,” he said, his hands dropping in his lap. “You’ve done nothing but look out for me all these years, and I gave you such shit for it. I knew it too; I could see it in your eyes but I was too stubborn to go back and say I’m sorry. So I’m saying it now. I’m sorry, Mikasa, you never deserved any of that.”

Her dark eyes were watching his, but she didn’t say a word. She didn’t even move actually; an apology from Eren Jaeger probably had that effect on anyone.

He moved closer to her on her bed, feeling too far away for how he knew this conversation was about to turn but he couldn’t back down now if he wanted to. Seeing her face, the one which always cared for him and the one he realized too late he cared for too, he had to get it out.

“I was never mad at you though. Only me. It shouldn’t have been you protecting me all the time, it should’ve been _me_ protecting you. I was frustrated with myself and I took it out on you.” Eren shrugged. “I just…wanted to tell you.”

Mikasa was still quiet as she watched him; he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“I meant what I said, y’know. About…” There was the heat to his face again. “Always being together. I, uh, couldn’t imagine my life without you. I wouldn’t want it.” Eren looked down at his hands in his lap. He didn’t even know what he was doing; how could he ever express how much she meant to him.

A warm touch on his cheek made him look up. Mikasa had inched closer to him, her hand on his face. A small smile tugged at her lips, but her eyes were just as intense as before. “What are you trying to say, Eren?” she spoke softly.

Eren expected to say “I have no idea” when he opened his mouth, but it wasn’t what came out. Instead all he could see was her face, her eyes, her hair, her lips, her cheeks, her nose. It was familiar to him, but all so new, as if he was seeing her through different eyes; ones that finally saw her for what he always should’ve.

“That I’m in love with you.” The words surprised him, but at the same time nothing felt more right. He heard Mikasa breath in quickly, clearly not expecting what he said. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to realize.” He reached up to brush some of her hair out of her face, but the moment he felt his hand touch her skin, her lips were on his.

He could feel his eyes widen but the feeling of her soft lips against his, the way it made his pulse pound in his ears, his eyes fluttered shut as he moved his mouth with hers. He really had no idea what do to, how to act, how to move, but it didn’t really matter. He didn’t even have to think, not with her. His hand reached up to the back of her head, tangling in her thick hair and pulling his body closer to hers. She tasted so…Eren didn’t even know how to properly describe it, or how he was feeling. He just couldn’t believe he was stupid enough to let her pass him by for so long.

Mikasa pulled away from him slightly, leaning her forehead against his as heavy breaths came from her mouth. “I’ve loved you for a long time longer than I probably even know. I never wanted to make you so upset all the time, it’s just…you made me life better the moment I met you. I only ever wanted to be by your side.”

“I know.” He nodded against her head. “Well, I know now. I was too stupid to recognize it before.”

“Not true. Just driven to make the world a better place.”

“The world wouldn’t even have hope to be a better place without you. Not for the military, the people, or me.” He could see her cheeks turn red at his words. It wasn’t the first time he had seen her blush, but the first time he understood how she was feeling.

“Or without you,” she said breathlessly. “You’ve always been my hero, but now you’ll be the world’s. I know you will be.”

“The world doesn’t matter,” he mumbled before tilting his head down to push his lips to hers once more.

He felt her fingers run through his hair sending chills down every part of his spine. His fingers slipped down her back, feeling her warm skin through the thin material. Mikasa’s hands pulled against his head with enough force that Eren felt like he was gonna lose his balance off the side of the bed. He adjusted his body to face her better, his hands pressing into her back, but she still kept pulling at him. She moved her hands down his back, fingers bunching in his shirt as she tugged him forward into her while she leaned backwards.

Oh. _Oh._

That’s what she wanted; Eren was more than happy to give her that.

As carefully as he could he pulled his legs up onto the bed, careful not to hit her leg. Mikasa didn’t let him go as her back fell against the mattress. Eren braced his hands on either side of her head pulling his body over hers. He could feel her body heat against him even though he was just hovering over her.

“Is your leg okay?” He pulled away from her, looking down at her half blanketed form. He wasn’t stupid enough to never notice her body, but seeing her this close, and this intimately was enough to send heat pooling in the pit of his stomach.

“It’s fine,” she said, pulling his face back down to hers but not before kicking her blanket off the bed.

Eren let his body gently settle down against hers, his legs in between hers, and his arms slipping under hers.  He could feel every inch over her body under him; every curve, every dip. Her skin radiated through her clothing sending more chills through his body. He felt his pants getting tighter with every second she had her hands on him. He broke their kiss but only so he could kiss more of her; he moved his lips over her jaw, her cheek, and down to her neck. He could hear her gasp lightly which only fueled him more. He was thanking that higher power that his dad was a doctor and they had snuck all those books out of his office to giggle at when they were kids.

Her hands moved down his back till he felt them bunch up the hem of his shirt. She tugged it upwards, her fingers leaving a trail of goose bumps where she brushed up against his bare skin. He shrugged it off of himself but where she tossed it he could care less. Eren’s eyes shut at the feeling of her hands running over his skin. Her hands were rough with wear and callouses but they felt soft and gentle against him.

“When did your shoulders get so broad,” Mikasa said while her fingers lingered over him.

“Are you trying to tell me I was scrawny?” Eren slipped his hands underneath her shirt to wiggle them against her skin.

“No!” she laughed trying to squirm away.

Eren pressed his lips back against hers, his hands resting against her waist. He supposed he should feel nervous, or afraid, but this was Mikasa. Even through the world had gone to shit around them, all he saw was her.

He gently pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her in her bra below him. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was always pretty, Eren would have never denied that, but she was so much more than that. He pressed his lips to her neck once more, this time traveling lower down her chest while his hands held onto her waist. A soft cry from her lips had Eren really feeling just how painfully tight his pants were now. He felt her back arch into him the lower his mouth got, her hips pressing into his.

He couldn’t have held in his moan even if he tried. He looked up to Mikasa’s bright eyes watching him. Her fingers fiddled with the buttons on Eren’s pants before she pushed them down leaving him in just his underwear, and not much to hide how much he was enjoying her company. Without hesitating, Eren dipped his fingers in her loose pants, pulling them down for her to kick them off. With a sharp intake of breath, his eyes roamed over her.

“You’re gorgeous, you know,” he breathed. He didn’t miss that blush that crept across her face.

“Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Is this really what you want?”

His forehead scrunched together while his mind tried to process what she meant but the look on her face gave her away. After all these years of caring for someone in what seemed like a one way adoration, how could she not worry he didn’t feel the same way?

“No,” he said his eyes locking with hers. “Not just this, but you. It’s always been you. It always will be.”

Mikasa reached up to pull his face down to hers, her lips pressing against his fiercely. Eren grabbed a hold of her as his body rested against hers once more. He felt like his skin was on fire against hers, like he could just melt right into her. Her hips rolled up into his and Eren lost the ability to think about anything else but making the girl below him the happiest she ever could be. She deserved that a hundred times over.

He pushed his body against hers, wanting to feel every inch of her body with his own. He was so focused on her lips, on her hips where his hands laid, on his legs against hers that he didn’t even notice her hand reaching around her back until he felt her the fabric of her bra go slack against him. Eren broke away from her, his eyes traveling downwards.

Mikasa wiggled out of the material and tossed the bra aside, leaving her chest bare before him.

As if he wasn’t hard enough already.

He could feel her eyes on him, but he couldn’t look away from her. Sure he had seen her naked before; mostly on accident when they were kids and a few times still on accident in their barracks but this was different. This was him looking on the person he loved, and her wanting to be looked at.

Eren carefully placed a hand on top of her breast, putting a little pressure behind his fingers as he felt her soft but firm skin. Mikasa made a small noise, her back arching up pressing herself farther into his hand. Well, he supposed he must’ve done the right thing there. Her hands reached for his arms, her fingers digging into his skin. He dipped his mouth down to her skin, letting his lips travel from her collar bone down to the top of her breast. He ran his lips around every inch of her while his hand continued to toy with her. He could feel her body squirming underneath him, her hips bucking up into his. He groaned against her, his tongue reaching out to swirl around her nipple.

“Eren…”

His name on her lips, spoken in a tone that told him all he needed to know about how she was feeling for him, sent chills through his body. His hands tightened around her as her own traveled down his chest. His tongue moved around her, taking in how her skin felt in his mouth, how she felt under his touch. He barely could notice where her hands were going until he heard a cry come from his mouth.

That had probably been too loud but when Mikasa’s soft hand ran over his length there was no other reaction for him. His forehead fell against her chest as his body filled with heat. It was so much different than just himself, so much better because it was her. It was like she knew exactly what to do to him to make him melt. Well, knowing Mikasa she probably did.

He groaned against her, his hips moving into her hand to feel the overwhelming sensations she was giving him. She was gentle but firm, her hand grasping harder around him. After how wound up she had already made him, Eren very well knew he didn’t have that much in him.

He lifted his head and rested his forehead against hers, his eyes meeting hers. “Mikasa,” his voice was hoarse. “I’m not gonna…” He felt her nod before releasing him. His eyes traveled down her body once more when he saw her fingers dip into her underwear. She pulled them down and kicked them away before placing a hand on Eren’s face. He had to tear his eyes away from her to look up at her.

“It’s okay,” she said. Eren didn’t have to ask what she meant.

He pulled off his boxers until he was just as bare as she was. He didn’t even know what to say to her. How to tell her everything he was feeling. How to tell her how much he cared about her, how much he loved her so he positioned himself in front of her and slowly slid himself inside of her. His body nearly shook as he felt her warmth around him and her hands gripped onto his arms, as a cry slipped through her lips. Eren hadn’t even heard the noises falling from his mouth until Mikasa had fallen silent.

He reached a hand up to her face. “Is everything…?” he managed to choke out, his body still adjusting to the sensations she was giving him.

Mikasa nodded and before Eren could get another word in she grabbed his face and pulled his lips to hers. Her hips rolled up against him causing his hands to grasp at her waist. He fiercely moved his lips with hers. He pulled his hips away from her before pushing himself back in. Moans fell against Mikasa’s lips as she moved her hips up to meet him.

How could she have been here this whole time, always one step behind, and he never he noticed? He heart her soft cries as she matched his careful rhythm against her. His hands held onto her tight, his mouth refused to leave hers. All he knew, was he was never letting her go again.

He buried his head in her neck, her arms wrapping tightly around him.

“Eren...Eren…”

He pressed his lips to her neck while he moved with her. Every stroke, every thrust just brought him one moment closer to his own edge. He knew he wouldn’t be able to last long, not with how Mikasa was making him feel. Everything about her just sent him reeling; the touch of her skin on his, the way she was grasping onto him, how warm she was, how tight she was against him.

“Mikasa, I…” he tried but it was no use. He was filled with such overwhelming sensations and he grasped onto her, his hips sporadically moving against her as his orgasm rushed through his body. He could barely distinguish his own cries with hers while she held onto him just as tight. He felt her own pleasure mix with his, his name falling from her lips.

His breath was ragged as his heart raced. He felt Mikasa’s chest heave underneath him, her fingers reaching up to brush his bangs from his face.

“I don’t think I hear anyone rushing to come make sure I’m okay,” she said breathlessly.

“Pretty sure if they heard any of that they’d know you were more than okay.”

Mikasa swatted at him but Eren playfully brushed her hand away. He gently rolled off of her and onto his side, pulling her into his arms without hesitation. A sigh left his lips as he leaned his head against hers. For a moment, he could forget what was outside this room; he could forget what he faced in the morning, what they all faced in the morning and every day until their world was safe and free. He could just see Mikasa, and the life he promised himself he would have with her someday.

Eren was mildly aware of the sun shining down on his face but he was more aware of the warm presence next to him; the one that was very familiar. Even without opening his eyes, he knew that touch against his chest, the way her head rested against him, her smell, her body fitting to his. His hands were around her, keeping her close to him as he had slept; judging by the way she wasn’t stirring she was still fast asleep. His hands rubbed her soft skin as thoughts of the night came to his awakening mind. With a grin he opened his eyes expecting for Mikasa to be the first thing he saw.

He wasn’t expecting Armin to be standing over her bed.

“Holy shit!” Eren nearly jumped out of the bed and his skin. Mikasa’s head and body snapped up, her eyes quickly scanning the room, until she saw Armin too. She let out a small noise, her eyes wide.

Armin reached forward quickly to grab the blanket that was falling down her body and held it up for her to take.

“Well, good morning to you guys too,” he said, but he was grinning.

“What’re you doing here?” Eren gasped, still recovering from his mild heart attack.

“As much as I’d love to say I’m here for the congratulations, though it really is about time.” Armin wasn’t even bothering to hide his amusement. “It’s because its nearly 8am and if the medical workers or worse the Lance Corporal finds you in here clearly not just stopping by for morning tea, you’ll probably never be able to-”

“Okay, okay I get the point,” Eren waved his hands to get Armin to stop talking.

“Then let’s get going.” He threw Eren’s clothes at him. “Good morning, Mikasa, you look well rested.”

Even Eren could see that blush creep across her cheeks as he shoved his clothes back on. “Alright, alright come on, wise ass.” He slid off the bed and gave Armin a shove towards the door. Eren turned around and quickly grabbed a hold of Mikasa’s face, pulling himself down to her. “I’ll see you at breakfast, okay?” he pressed his lips to hers one last time before he felt Armin tugging on the waistband of his pants. “Alright already!” he tried to be mad, but he couldn’t. He just laughed and swatted him away.

“Stop looking so cocky,” Armin chuckled pushing Eren out of the room. “See you, Mikasa,” he waved before shutting the door. “You know the Lance Corporal is gonna see right through that.”

“Ah, whatever,” Eren shrugged with a smile. “Let him talk.” It didn’t matter anyway. How could anything be bad when the world was such a beautiful place?


	6. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 14th - Family 
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series, years after Eren, Armin, and Mikasa left the military and moved far from the walls  
> Rating: K +  
> Words: 2469

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t really my headcanon for them but I couldn’t resist writing these cutie pies all happy with babies. This is my headcanon for how Eren would be once they are able to live free and safe (shh shh I still think it will happen). I feel like he’d genuinely be very happy, and of course, always be with Mikasa.

Mikasa shook out one of her sheets as the warm breeze blew it around in her hands. She pinned one end to the line and walked over to make sure the other end got pinned tightly as well. The wind still blew at it, but it didn’t seem like it would fly off into the woods so Mikasa was satisfied. She placed a hand on her swollen stomach as she bent over to grab the next piece of wet laundry from her basket nearby. She felt a nudge as she straightened back up. Mikasa smiled to herself as she gave the little one a few taps back in response.

A quick motion caught her eye from behind the laundry. Her eyes watched the small shadow, now moving incredibly slowly. Clearly her youngest wasn’t the only one moving around today. Mikasa reached up to place the towel on the line, still watching the movement through the corner of her eye. She put the last clip on the towel, looking away from the now stationary shadow.

“Boo!” a familiar voice called out.

Mikasa placed her hand over her chest to at least look like she had been surprised. She glanced down at the small head of brown hair and tiny body popping out from underneath the sheet; the familiar turquoise eyes shining up at her. “Oh, Nicolas, you surprised me,” she exclaimed but not without a smile.

“That’s cause I snuck up on you. I’m sneaky,” he said proudly, the sheet he was hiding behind still resting on his shoulders.

As Mikasa looked down at him she couldn’t get the visions of a similar scene from a time long ago. She was older than the five year old by the time she had gone to live with Eren, but she was still watched him countless times sneak up on his mom when she was doing the laundry.

“What you are,” she said, taking a moment to slowly crouch down to her son. “Is your father.” She reached up to ruffle his already messy hair causing the boy to giggle and run off to the side of the basket. Nicolas was the spitting image of Eren, both in looks and personality which she knew was gonna bite her in the ass when he got to be a teenager but she could and would avoid thinking about that for quite some time.

“Why don’t you help me finish the laundry? It’s a little hard for me to bend over-”

“‘Cause of the baby!” Nicolas said.

“Yes,” she nodded, her hand pressed against her stomach. “So why don’t you hand me the laundry so we can go do something fun?”

“Okay!” He stuck his hands into the basket and pulled out the biggest wad he could, which only happened to be one towel.

“Thank you,” Mikasa said carefully taking the fabric from his hands to pin it on the line.

“Hey, Mama?”

“Hmm?”

“When’s Daddy coming home?”

Mikasa’s fingers hesitated over the clips for a moment. She hated that question; she hated asking it herself let alone her five year old. She looked over at him with a smile. “I’m not sure. Hopefully he’s on his way right now.” That didn’t seem to help. She could see Nicolas’ face drop, his eyes looking down at his hands.

“Why’d he have to go?”

It was impossible not to feel a tug at her heart; nothing felt right when Eren wasn’t here, and clearly she wasn’t the only one who felt that way. Mikasa moved away from the laundry and slowly sat herself down on the grass by Nicolas. She reached over and took the small boy into her arms and her lap. He curled up around her so his head laid on her shoulder, his legs over hers.

“He was asked to go into the city. You know, the one far across the plains, where the walls are higher than you could possibly imagine.” She poked him in the stomach knowing how much he loved to hear stories from when Mikasa and Eren were kids. Well, as much as they were willing to tell a child.

“But why?”

“Because some of the people who are very high up in the military asked him to, and he said okay.”

“I thought Daddy hadn’t been in the military for a long, long time. That’s what he told me.”

“And it’s the truth, but he still has friends who are, and they needed his help. So he was a good friend and travelled far away so he could help them.”

Nicolas crossed his arms, his face scrunching in disapproval. “Why couldn’t he take us with him? Uncle Armin too cause he’d be lonely without us.”

Mikasa laughed lightly. “Well, it would be a very long trip and on horseback. You’d probably be bored out of your mind,” she squeezed him. “And it would have been too hard for me and the baby. Daddy would have been worried about us to make it very far quickly. Uncle Armin offered to go with him, but Daddy said no. He didn’t want _us_ to get too lonely.”

Her explanation didn’t seem to help much at all, not that she thought it would. She knew words couldn’t replace the person you missed most in the world.

“I miss Daddy, Mama.” His voice was small; Mikasa could hear all his sadness in just those few words. She leaned her head down to his, placing a kiss on his forehead before resting hers against him.

“I miss him too.” She felt a familiar feeling rush over her body; a little foot pressing forcibly against her stomach. She chuckled before taking Nicolas’ hand and placing it over the spot on her stomach as was feeling the pressure. “I don’t think you and me are the only ones who do.” She saw a smile creep over his face.

He laid his head against her stomach. “You’re gonna like Daddy, Baby. He’s really silly, and he likes to play games especially outdoors games, and he takes us to the market to see all the animals, and he and Uncle Armin tell the bestest stories. You’ll like Uncle Armin too. He travels a lot but then he has even more stories to tell us.”

Mikasa smiled as she ran her fingers through Nicolas’ hair while she listened to him talk. Years and years ago this had been just a faint dream in her head, an unattainable one, but here she was though, and she wouldn’t change it for the world. She had her family.

“And Daddy likes to cook pancakes in the mornings, and he’ll show you how to ride a horse when you are big enough. He told me I could ride the horses soon but you’ll have to wait cause you’ll be too tiny to even sit on the saddle. And he…”

Mikasa could see a figure walking a horse headed towards the front of the house. She waved her arm above her head to let Armin know they were in the back. He didn’t live too far from them, just a little closer to the town whereas Eren preferred being far out in the country.

“And he likes to kiss Mama and he likes to tickle and always tells us he loves us and…”

“And he particularly likes surprises.”

Mikasa’s head shot up almost as fast as Nicolas was on his feet. Standing in her backyard was the one person who hadn’t been there in months, the one face she knew better than her own.

She could hear Nicolas’ ecstatic cries as she watched him bolt at Eren, who had crouched down to catch him in open arms. Mikasa tried to get herself up but her body seemed frozen in place. She wasn’t expecting him home so early, not after how Eren had made it seem before he left. She watched Eren shower Nicolas with kisses and hugs; hearing her son’s squeals of joy and her husband’s laugh made her feel like melting.

All was right again.

Her eyes stayed on Eren until his gaze met hers. Nicolas didn’t look like he was about to let go anytime soon, not that she blamed him, Eren shifted Nicolas in his arms giving himself one free arm. Eren was still dressed in that uniform she hadn’t seen in years. She couldn’t help but feel like she was fifteen for a moment, looking at the boy she had already loved for so long. Even after all this time, her heart still skipped and her breath hitched in her throat when she saw his smile directed at her, his body moving towards her.

Mikasa watched him as he extended his hand to her. She slipped hers into his, feeling the warm touch of his skin she had missed so much. She used his weight to help herself to her feet, his arm remaining steady so she didn’t lose her balance. She didn’t even get the chance to speak before Eren’s hand was around her back, pulling her body into his, his lips on hers in an instant. Mikasa couldn’t hold in her sigh as she pressed her hands against his chest, her mouth moving with his.

Eren made a noise of contentment before leaning his forehead against hers. “Oh, it’s very good to be home.” His hand was still pressed into her back, keeping her as close as she could get. Mikasa couldn’t have fought off her smile even if she wanted to. She could feel the little one doing summersaults in her stomach, clearly happy at hearing her father’s voice. He dipped his head back down to kiss her but Nicolas tugged on the collar of Eren’s jacket.

“Daddy! Do you have stories to tell us?”

“Do I have stories to tell you?” Eren exclaimed in mock outrage. “You bet I do, kid.” He poked Nicolas’ stomach with the hand that was holding him, causing the boy to erupt in giggles. “You too.” Eren moved his hand from Mikasa’s back and placed it on her stomach. She could see his wide smile when she felt the baby kick right where his hand rested.

“We all missed you,” Mikasa placed her hand on his face. Eren sighed and leaned his head into her touch.

“Can we hear stories now?” Nicolas was tugging at Eren’s jacket once more.

“How about,” Eren moved his head to bump lightly against Nicolas’. “I go take care of the horse while you go inside so I can find where I hid that present for you.”

Nicolas’ feet were on the ground before Eren even had the chance to put him down. He bolted to the back down and disappeared inside without a single look back. Mikasa laughed as she started to walk towards where Eren had left his horse. It’s never a trip without a present; she knew it was something Eren had learned from his own father.

Before she could make it very far, Eren’s hand grabbed onto her wrist. In a quick but careful motion Eren pulled her back to him, his arms circling around her. “Hang on just a sec,” he said, his hands rubbing her lower back. Mikasa’s fingers ran over his tan shirt, the thick straps against his chest, the ever familiar brown jacket. “You look like you’re fifteen.”

Eren rolled his eyes with a smile. “Yeah. They made me wear this old thing while I was out there. I don’t know why they still have all these straps and riggings as part of the uniform. Only a few are still trained with the gear. I’m pretty sure Commander just wanted to make herself feel young again.”

“And to get a laugh out of Lance Corporal?”

“That would be Serge now. Yeah, he found it particularly amusing. Which of course means he cracked a smile.”

Mikasa tugged gently on his jacket, straightening his lapels. “He didn’t like you calling him Serge, did he.”

“Not even a little.”

“I can only imagine his face,” she laughed, her hands pressing against his chest.

Eren reached up to brush her hair from her face. “It was strange. Being there without you and Armin too, Having to sleep in the same places, wear this getup, be in the same building without seeing your face around every corner.”

“You’re home now.” She reached up to hold his face in her hands.

“Thank God,” he murmured before he leaned in once more to press his lips to hers. He moved his hands to rest on the sides of her stomach, his thumbs gently rubbing her skin through her dress. “Everything okay with my girls while I was gone?”

“Insisting it’s a girl isn’t going to change the gender one way or another, Er-” Mikasa tried to answer but Eren pushed his mouth to hers again.

“Yes,” she chuckled against his lips. “Everything’s fine.”

Eren didn’t even bother saying anything before kissing her again. Mikasa tightened her hands on him as she moved her mouth with his. Until she felt a very familiar force run into both her and Eren’s legs.

“Daddy!” Nicolas whined, his fingers bawled up in the straps on Eren’s leg and in Mikasa’s dress. “Stop kissing Mama and come tell us stories! And presents!”

With a wide grin, Eren reached down and hoisted Nicolas back up to his arms. “I was just letting Mama know how much I missed her.”

“Didja miss me too? Cause I missed you.”

“What kinda question is that? Of course I did!”

Mikasa watched Nicolas squeal with laughed as Eren held him tight, Eren’s hands tickling every part of his body. She couldn’t count how many times she had thought she would never see Eren’s smile again, that she would never see his face, hold him in her arms, but all of that was long over. They left their old world behind and started their new one, and Mikasa knew that not one day would ever be taken for granted.

Eren threw Nicolas up on his shoulders before holding his hand out to Mikasa. “Come on,” he said.

She slipped her hand in his as Eren began to walk towards his horse and his packs.

“Do you have new stories about the military?” Nicolas asked, his body bouncing.

“Well, the military isn’t what it’s like in the stories I normally tell, not anymore but I’ve got some new ones.”

“What about the angry short man? And the lady who could talk all night? And the guy who -”

“Oh yeah, I’ve always got stories about them, don’t you worry.”

 

_I couldn’t resist the sap. Just a small note, I named their son Nicolas because it means “People of Victory” and since he’d be a part of the first generation born free I figured it was appropriate ^^_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t resist the sap. Just a small note, I named their son Nicolas because it means “People of Victory” and since he’d be a part of the first generation born free I figured it was appropriate ^^


	7. Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 15th – Future
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series; A few weeks after the titans were destroyed.  
> Words: 3026  
> Rating: T (For language)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me have my happy ending feels. I probably kept alive far more people than realistically might be at the end of the series but I don’t care. I like to be happy okay.

“At ease,” Levi said with a nod.

Eren dropped his stiff salute, seeing Mikasa and Armin do the same from the corners of his eyes. Levi wasn’t watching them, merely looking down at their files in front of him on his desk. Eren easily saw which one was his since it was double the size of the other two, probably thanks to Hanji. Eren steadied his shaking hands by his side.

“The Commander told me why you’d be coming but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. As your commanding officer, you brats still have to go through me.” Levi gazed at them with his dark eyes for a moment.

Eren swallowed, but nothing was gonna get in his way. It was time to give the people he loved most in the world the life they deserved.

“Why do you want to leave the military?” Levi propped his elbows up on his desk and leaned over.

“The war is done, Sir,” Eren said. “The world is safe; our goal has been reached.”

“So? There is still a lot to do and standing right in front of me is a brilliant strategist, fighter, and who the people consider to be a hero. Why should I end your terms early when I still have use from you three?”

“We’ve always wanted to see the world, Sir,” Armin spoke up and Eren could see the small smile on Armin’s lips; Eren could only imagine what distant lands were on Armin’s mind. “All three of us, together and now we can.”

“It can wait. The world will still be there when you get out.” Levi clearly wasn’t letting go without a fight.

Eren supposed he should feel flattered but that didn’t mean he wanted to stay. There was something much more important he wanted. “Armin and Mikasa are here because of me.” Every time he watched one of them get hurt, get in danger, Eren felt feel a pang of guilt. Armin could have easily gotten a research or teaching job, but he fought alongside Eren and Mikasa, she could have done whatever she wanted with her life, but she refused to leave his side. “They would’ve never joined if I hadn’t in the first place. They never wanted this life but they stayed with me for far longer than they probably should’ve.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Levi said. “Though it’s a good thing for humanity they could put up with your dumbass. Regardless, it doesn’t change the fact that I still need you three. “

There was a lot left to do. Eren knew Levi wasn’t lying to them but Eren’s choice was even more important to him. His friends risked their lives for the world, and now it was time for them to have peace.

“With all due respect, Sir, there are plenty of well deserving soldiers who want the glory of restoring what’s left of humanity, and rising it back up. But me? It would be my greatest honor to take Armin to see the ocean and all the places he’s told us about. And…” Eren paused for a moment. “And to give Mikasa the life she always wanted. They both deserve that and I will make it happen.”

Levi looked them over, but he didn’t say a word. Eren had been unsure this would work before he even went to the Commander, but he was gonna damn well try. Without Armin, none of their plans would have succeeded; they would still be fighting off those bastards if it weren’t for him. He deserved a long time away from these walls. Mikasa, she was right by his side right till the end of all this. Just like she always had been. How many times had she risked her life for him? All Eren wanted to do was give her a home, far away from all this, the home she had always dreamed of.

“It’s…” Eren started again. “It’s too hard to be here…now that everythings over. All I can see are the horrible things, the people we’ve lost, the family…” He met Levi’s eyes. “I want to take them away from that.” Eren felt a hand on his shoulder as Armin stepped up next to him and a hand on Eren’s arm as Mikasa did the same. It was a breath of relief every time he remembered they survived this together. They lived.

“And we want to do the same for Eren, Sir,” Mikasa said. Her face was expressionless as she watched Levi, but Eren could hear a softness to her tone, one he had become quite accustom lately.

Levi’s eyes remained on all three of them, his expression unchanging. “Get outta here, you shitty brats.” His hands moved to pick up their files as he looked away from them.

Eren blinked at him. Was he letting them go or…?

“Don’t just stare at me, Jaeger. Get out. I don’t want to see any of your faces around here anymore.”

“Thank you, sir.” Eren couldn’t fight his wide grin. He choked back a laugh as the realization hit him. They could leave. He felt his body move to give the ever familiar salute. Mikasa and Armin followed suit but even Eren could see the looks of just plain happiness on their faces.

“Just go.” Levi said, waving them off.

“Sure you don’t want a hug?”

“Get the hell out of here before I change my mind and make you single handedly clean up some of the messes you’ve made in this place.”

Eren didn’t need to be told again. He swung open the door and ushered Armin and Mikasa out before moving to walk out for the last time.

“Jaeger.”

He stopped to look back at Levi who was watching him again. “Yes, Sir?”

“Just because the titans are gone doesn’t mean the worlds turned into a bucket of sunshine and rainbows. Take care of them.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Eren said, moving to shut the door.

“And don’t get Ackerman pregn-”

Eren couldn’t slam the door fast enough, heat rising to his face. That asshole just had to get the last word didn’t he? A few soldiers walking by eyed him but by the time he let go of the handle both Mikasa and Armin had collided with him. Mikasa was holding him tightly, her arms wrapped around his waist, her head buried in his chest. Armin had his arms around the both of them, a wide grin on his face as he looked at Eren.

“You did it,” Armin said.

Eren had to wonder when Armin had gotten so tall, when he stopped looking like the little boy Eren once knew but he had a feeling Armin would say the same about himself. Time had slipped by them all, barely noticing the change, but things were gonna be different now.

“Not without your help, just like always,” Eren clasped a hand on Armin’s shoulder. His other hand was already on Mikasa’s back, holding her close.

“They look happy…”

“Shut up, Sasha, they can probably hear you.”

“Awwe, c’mon, Connie, I just wanna know if they are leaving us or not.”

“You two are the worst eavesdroppers I ‘ve ever seen.”

“Jean, shut up, you aren’t helping.”

Eren tilted his head to look around the corner of the hallway they were standing by. Sasha was staring right back at him, with Connie practically on her back trying to look over her head. Jean was standing nearby but off to the back clearly not too interested, but still there.

Sasha let out a small squeal at being caught, but she still didn’t move. “Are you guys…?”

Eren nodded.

They were all silent for a moment. There were so few left now; so much less then when they started. Some were forced to watch leave and some vanished never to let their friends know if they would be okay. The remaining 104th trainees stood watching each other, unsure what to say.

Mikasa released one arm from Eren and extended it out to Sasha, whose fallen face looked like she was about to cry. “Come on,” Mikasa said, a warm smile on her face.

Eren couldn’t help how much that smile suited Mikasa; much more than the expression most people had gotten to know her with, and how much he hoped it would be on her face more.

Sasha barreled into them; her arms wrapped around them so tight that Eren had to steady himself to keep everyone from falling over. He let out a laugh as Armin pulled Sasha close to them. Connie quickly followed suit, squeezing in behind Sasha, causing her to laugh as he accidentally tickled her sides. Soon Eren couldn’t even distinguish who was laughing between the five of them. Well, save for that one person who was still sulking against the wall.

“C’mon, Jean, you know you’re gonna miss us,” Eren said, looking out at his remaining comrade.

“Yeah, like a wart on my face.”

Eren detangled himself from the massive group hug to walk over to Jean.  They had never really gotten along, but Eren was pretty sure he’d be dead if not for Jean, and Eren knew for a fact Mikasa would be. It would feel incredibly wrong not to say anything to the man he fought alongside for so long.

“What do you plan to do now,” Jean grunted, crossing his arms as he glanced over.

Eren leaned up on the wall next to him. “We’ll take one of the caravans out of the city. They’ve got a few running to take people who want explore and push civilization back out into the world. Since all we have is each other right now, it’s easy to travel.”

Jean seemed to make some kind of grunting noise in what Eren thought might be agreement. That or disgust. He was never quite sure with Jean.

“Armin’s our leader now. He’s gonna take us to all the places he’s always told us about. See the world without having to worry if we are going to get eaten the next moment.”

Jean arched an eyebrow. “And Mikasa?”

Eren glanced over at his her; she was currently being questioned rapidly by Sasha. Mikasa would smile and try to answer but before she could Sasha had ten more questions. Eren couldn’t even distinguish what she was asking about she was talking so fast. A smile pulled at his lips. Mikasa reminded him of when they were kids; that light smile, her glowing face. Her eyes were still worn from the horrible experiences she was forced into, but she seemed so much happier now the weight of the world was off her shoulders. It was all he had ever wanted for her, to see her carefree again. He knew what they saw, what they did would haunt them for a very long time, because he felt it himself, but they could learn to move on now; to start over.

Eren felt a sharp jab in the ribs from Jean’s elbow. “Stop staring at her and just answer me, asshole.”

“Heh,” Eren could feel heat rising up to his cheeks but he refused to acknowledge that in front of Jean. “We used to fight all the time when we were in training. She always wanted me to leave, and I was never gonna. It took me a long time to realize she only wanted me to leave so she could have what she had lost, a home so that’s what I’m gonna give her.”

Sasha gave Mikasa another large hug, causing her to laugh under the tight pressure of Sasha’s arms.

“Once we’re done travelling, we’re gonna pick out the place we’d like to stay. Armin I’m sure will keep going on trips, but I’ll be happy being able to stay home.” The word even sounded foreign in his mouth. He hadn’t had one, well a traditional one, in a long time but he could now.

Mikasa walked over to place her hand on Armin’s arm. He leaned down so his ear was level to her face. Eren couldn’t hear what she said from where he was but whatever it was it made Armin glance over at Eren with an amused grin on his face.

“With Mikasa.” Jean’s voice brought Eren back to the conversation.

“Of course,” Eren said without thinking of the implications behind his words until they were out.

Jean didn’t seem to be surprised though; he simply looked over at Eren. “Does she know that?”

“I, uh…” Eren knew Mikasa knew he loved her, that he cared about more than anyone in the world because he had told her as much, but that he wanted his home to be wherever she was? That he wanted to spend the rest of his life waking up next to her?  That there was no part of his life he could imagine without her by his side? He had no idea.

“I suggest you let her know,” Jean said. “You should know better than anyone who knows what tomorrow could bring. That’s not the kinda thing you should leave unsaid.”

“Couldn’t let me leave without another lecture could you?”

Jean looked like he was about to snap but before a word could come out both Mikasa and Armin pulled Eren and Jean into their own hug. Connie and Sasha weren’t far behind.

“Okay okay,” Jean grunted trying to squeeze out but considering how tightly Eren was squished against Mikasa, Jean, and the wall, there was no where he could go.  

“Just let it happen, Jean!” Connie called out.

Jean grunted but there was a smile tugging at his lips.

“Hey,” Eren said above the laughing that had started up again. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, whatever, Jaeger.”

 

* * *

 

The wagon was pretty large and a lot fuller than Eren had expected as he sat near the back of the wagon squeezed in-between Armin and Mikasa. There was a cover over the top to keep out any bad weather, and a few of the side panels were open to see what was outside around them. Naturally, Armin had them sit right in front of one. Eren stretched out as best he could, careful not to hit the people or bags in front of him. Armin practically had his head out the panel as the bumpy cart traveled.

“Calm down, buddy, we haven’t even gotten to Wall Maria yet. This isn’t anything new,” Eren chuckled, but Armin wasn’t having it. Eren leaned back against the wooden panel behind him before his eyes looked over to Mikasa curled next to him. Her legs were pulled up underneath her, her eyes on a book in her lap. A sun hat hid some of her face from him, but he could see her dark hair from underneath it. It was getting longer, much longer than he had seen it since they were kids.

“Hey.”

Mikasa looked up at the sounds of his voice. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothings wrong,” Eren said. “You don’t have to always assume that anymore.”

A smile crept across her face. He would never get sick of seeing that. Not after seeing her so sad for so long. “Yeah, you’re right.” She closed her book to give him her full attention. “So what is it?”

“Well,” Eren wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to tell her. Sure they had talked about what they would do after they traveled but Eren couldn’t get Jean’s words out of his mind. That bastard. “I was just thinking about once we see everything we want to see.”

“I thought we were going to pick which place we liked best and stay there?”

“Well, yeah, I mean we’ll still do that. I just meant,” Eren paused for a moment. “I thought that then we could have our home. Together. Wherever it might be. It doesn’t really matter to me, ‘long as you are there with me.”

Eren watched Mikasa’s smile reach across her lips, her eyes shining in a way they he never wanted to get used to. “I’d like that.”

“Yeah, me too.” Eren dipped his head down to press his lips to hers. He felt her hand reach up to run through his hair, her lips moving with his. A sigh slipped through his mouth as the realization that this was his life now hit him. No military rules, no uniforms, no gear, and most of all no titans; all he had was his bag, Armin, and Mikasa. Eren’s hand reached up to brush across her cheek, and that was really all he ever needed.

“You guys are gonna be so boring this trip.”

Eren pulled away from Mikasa to grin at Armin. “Feeling left out?” He reached an arm wrap around Armin’s neck and pull him over to them.

“I’m completely okay with you not kissing me,” Armin laughed but made no motion to move as Mikasa reached over to brush some hair out of Armin’s face.

Eren looked from Mikasa to Armin, hs two best friends in the world. The ones he almost lost, the ones he couldn’t live without.

“I think mom would be proud,” he said, wrapping his other arm around Mikasa.

“No.” She leaned her head against Eren’s shoulder. “I think she is proud.”

“Hannes too,” Armin sat up a little straighter once Eren let go of him, but he didn’t move too far away.

Eren nodded, a smile on his lips. They really did it. They were free.

“Look!” A voice called from somewhere in the wagon. “Wall Maria!”

The vast wall loomed over them in moments, the large wooden doors the only thing blocking them from the outside world. Armin’s head was out the window again, but his hand was clasped tight onto Eren’s shoulder. Eren looked down to Mikasa, who was already watching him. He heard the doors creak open, the chains and gears moving to open the thick wood that for so long had been kept shut.

“Ready?” he breathed, his hand grasping onto her.

“Ready.”

Despite the wagon moving again, the wall passing by them, Eren couldn’t bring himself to look away from her.

 


	8. I Knew it From the Moment We Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Knew it From the Moment We Met
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa & Mikasa’s implying Eren/Annie  
> Setting: During their training.  
> Words: 1589  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request left in a review on one of my chapters for Eremika week. It’s kinda sad, at least sad to me. I tried to remember how I felt when I was fifteen and I saw the guy I liked hanging out with another girl. Mikasa is a strong person and a strong solider, but she’s still a teenage girl, and has all the heartache that goes with that. The title is from Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love”.

 “Mikasa…? Did…did you hear me?”

Mikasa knew she should be focusing on her own partner, making sure both her and Sasha were learning the drills and landing each move perfectly, but Mikasa’s eyes would not stop drifting across the crowded area.

“No,” she said looking back over to Sasha who was standing across from her in their area of the training grounds. Mikasa looked over her shoulder again to see the same sight she saw all day: Annie knocking Eren into the ground. No matter how many times Mikasa looked away she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling she had in her stomach, the way her pulse was pounding in her ears, the way it was hard to breath. Her palms were clammy, and her mind was jumbled. She tried to focus herself; focus on her situation at hand. She told herself to stop looking, to watch her own partner, but she couldn’t stop herself.

Eren went down again, and Mikasa resisted the urge to go over there herself, but she knew how he would react. It wouldn’t be pretty.  She felt a jab in her chest, only making the way her heart felt like it was in the pit of her stomach worse.

“Should we go again?” Sasha prompted.

Mikasa blinked at her for a moment. What were they doing again? Oh yeah, training. How could she forget? It’s not like they didn’t do it every day. Mikasa shook her head slightly to try and rid her overrun mind of its thoughts.  “Sure.”

Sasha’s eyebrows furrowed together as she looked at Mikasa then jumped up to her tiptoes and to look over at the two people Mikasa couldn’t get her mind off. Sasha made an understanding noise causing Mikasa to eye her.

The brunette settled back down, looking over to Mikasa. “Its Eren and Annie, isn’t it? That’s what’s bothering you.”

“What? Why would I care who he trains with.” Mikasa kept her voice steady, not even letting the slightest tremor out, but she knew. She knew that was exactly what was bothering her. She just couldn’t understand why because it shouldn’t bother her at all. Eren had always been with her and Armin. Nothing was gonna change that.

Then why did she feel so horrible?

“Are you jealous, Mikasa?”

Jealous? Why would she be? No other girls cared to hang out with them and Eren never seemed to care about other girls; she was always the only one.

With a few quick moves, Mikasa had Sasha on her back.

She groaned as she pushed herself with her hands. “That wasn’t fair, I wasn’t even ready.”

“I’m going to get some water.”

Mikasa walked away from Sasha, heading towards where she left her small canteen of water for the hot days out in the sun. Their instructors didn’t particularly care since it was more of a hassle if one of them passed out from heat stroke. She heard Annie saying something to Eren as Mikasa walked by, but she couldn’t make out what it was. Whatever it was Eren simply nodded and got up without a fight.

Her stomach clenched as she tugged at her scarf, pulling it over her mouth even despite the sun shining down on her. She leaned up against one of the nearby buildings before bending down to pick up her water. Mikasa placed the cover to her lips and let a little of the water into her mouth.

Eren was still in her sight; she watched Annie talk to him and Mikasa watched a small smile tug at his lips. Her stomach turned.

Sasha had nailed it on the head.

Mikasa was used to being the only girl Eren ever even looked at really. He never had any other friends but Armin and herself, let alone female friends.

She took another sip of water.

She figured it was just something she had to get used to; there were plenty other people, both male and female, Eren was bound to get close to. It clear now more than ever that it wasn’t always just gonna be the three of them.

Mikasa felt another sharp jab in her chest as she watched Annie reach out a hand to help Eren up, smiling at her as he talked. Mikasa hadn’t seen that smile directed at her in what seemed like ages. Her eyes started to sting. She knew. She knew her feelings weren’t Eren just making new friends.

It was that Mikasa wished that was her not Annie.

Mikasa wanted to be the one to help him back up to his feet, have him smiling, talking to her, to have his hand in hers. She was jealous. Jealous because…what if Eren wanted to be with Annie more than he wanted to be with herself?

She shook her head harshly. This was Eren; love was the last thing on his mind, especially regarding herself. Mikasa watched them fight with Eren getting knocked down again and again. He never snapped, never yelled at Annie like he would have with Mikasa; he just got up and tired again.

Why didn’t he ask her? She would have helped him in an instant. Maybe he liked Annie’s company better.

Mikasa’s stomach lurched again at the thought. He hadn’t wanted her around like he used to lately; maybe that was-

“Ackerman! Back to work!”

Mikasa quickly saluted her instructor before walking back to where Sasha was waiting.

“So…have a good drink?”

Mikasa ignored her and raised her fists to tell Sasha what Mikasa thought on the matter.

Sasha sighed and went to attack. Mikasa moved her body to place well timed hits on her partner like she had been doing all morning. It was more than a little surprise when Mikasa found herself on her back, Sasha looking down at her.

“It’s okay, you know, to feel that way,” she said, holding her hand out to help Mikasa up. “I see the way you look at him. It’s only natural.”

Mikasa pushed herself up and reached out to take Sasha’s hand. She brushed the dirt off her uniform once she was back on her feet.

The loud familiar ringing filled the small space; breaths of relief were heard all around at the sound of the lunch bell. Mikasa felt one slip from her own lips, and she knew it had nothing to do with food. Sasha was already long gone as Mikasa watched her comrades file to get inside; Armin was off to the side waving at her but Eren was nowhere in the area.

“Eren!” she called, making her way over to the same spot she had been watching all day. Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest when those blue eyes met hers. She had been unsure of her feelings for him when they were younger, wondering if she felt such adoration for him just because he saved her life, but it wasn’t true and looking into his eyes she couldn’t question that. A smile tugged at her lips, her heart pounded in her chest.

“You guys go on ahead,” Eren said. “I’m gonna stay here for a little longer.”

Her stomach dropped and her smile faded as fast as it had come. Why not? She wanted to ask him. Why am I not good enough for you anymore?

“Okay,” was all she said instead. Mikasa turned to leave, keeping her head held high. She was afraid if her shoulders slumped like they wanted to, if her head sunk down, everyone would see how she felt; that Eren would see and that he wouldn’t care. She walked towards the mess hall, keeping her eyes on the door.

“Mikasa! Wait a second.”

She turned her head back at Eren’s voice. He was jogging towards her, his face red and sweaty, but a small smile on his lips. She hated the way her heart was beating again, the way her breath would catch in her throat when he called her name.

“Mind sneaking me some food from the hall?” he asked in a low tone. He was so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating against her, his warm breath on her cheek. “I’ll come get it from you later. Okay?”

He looked so happy, so proud almost though Mikasa wasn’t quite sure of what. Maybe it was because of all the time he was getting to spend with Annie today and now all the extra time too. Mikasa wanted to say no, to tell him to have his new friend get it for him since he clearly wanted to hang out with her instead but how could she ever say no to him? She cared for more than anyone in the world, even when he had absolutely no clue how much she would give for him.

“Yeah, just don’t get us both caught,” she said.

“Thanks!” He started to walk backwards to where Annie was waiting. “You’re the best!”

A smile pulled at her lips as she watched his retreating back. She turned back to the building in front of her. Armin was still standing outside waiting for her. He gave her a warm smile and gestured for her to come with him as if he could sense her mood from there; which knowing Armin, he probably could. She felt her smile leave her lips the moment she heard Eren talking with Annie behind her. Mikasa walked towards where Armin was standing, not even bothering to look back behind.

If only Eren ever meant what he said.


	9. Christmas Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5 - Christmas Tree
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: The first Christmas they have together after Mikasa comes to live with them.  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 2746

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chunk of stories is from a Christmas Challenge I was doing while I worked two retail jobs over the holiday to keep my sanity lol
> 
> I wanted to make this super cute and them all so happy to have Mikasa there with them and wanting to take her Christmas traditions and show her theirs and they all be happy together and then I made myself sad ;-; But yeah, its fluffy. I looked into both German and Japanese Christmas traditions to help me write it too ^^

Mikasa watched Grisha and Eren try and get their Christmas tree through the front door; “try” being the key word. She clasped a flour covered hand over her mouth from her spot kneeling on a chair at the kitchen counter, but even that couldn’t hide her laughter.

“I told you not to bring home a huge tree again,” Carla tutted as she stirred the batter she and Mikasa had been working on. “It didn’t fit any other year and it won’t fit now.” Carla was trying to hide her smile, but Mikasa could see right through it; she had gotten used to the way Mrs. Jaeger liked to hide when she was amused by whatever Mr. Jaeger or Eren were doing. It never worked.

“Nonsense,” Grisha spoke up though. Mikasa couldn’t even see him behind the big evergreen that was only halfway in the door. “We always get it in the house, don’t we, Eren?”

“Yeah, after getting covered in pine needles and cuts,” Eren muttered, trying to get his small hands around the top of the tree.

“Now that’s your own fault. I told you to wear gloves. Try pulling again.”

Eren huffed, but did what his dad asked him to do.

Carla chuckled as she looked back to the batter she was mixing in the bowl. “Some boys we’ve got there, hmm, Mikasa?”

Mikasa felt a jolt go through her body. It was silly to feel embarrassed over such a simple phrase, but she still looked down before Carla could see the heat on her cheeks.

“C’mon, Dad, push the tree a little harder will you!”

“Maybe if you wore gloves you’d be able to pull the tree better.”

Eren groaned but continued to tug at the large tree. It was moving a little bit at least Mikasa noticed.

“Ah!” Carla exclaimed looking down at the shapes of cookies in front of Mikasa. “Those look lovely, dear. How about we get them on the tray and stick them in the oven.” She put the mixing bowl down and reached for a nearby tray she had ready for cooking. “Just pick them up real carefully like this and slid them right on.”

Mikasa followed suit and placed her cookie right next to the other one on the tray. It looked a little lopsided and squished but Carla seemed to be happy about it.

“This was my mom’s cookie recipe that she got from her mom, and so on,” Carla explained while she helped Mikasa get them all on. “I know that…” Carla seemed to hesitate for a moment causing Mikasa to pause moving the cookies and look up at her. Carla’s face dropped for a moment but when she saw Mikasa watching her she seemed to perk up again, putting on a smile. “I know it’s not an ideal situation,” she said softly. “But I’m happy you’re here with us. I always wanted a daughter to help me make cookies like I used to help my mom. Eren was never that interested.”

“I just like to eat them!” he piped up. “Dad, you aren’t pushing hard eno-whoa!” The tree jerked suddenly causing Eren to get tossed forward onto the ground.

“There,” Grisha said, stepping forward into the house while wiping his hands. “It’s in the house just like I promised.”

“And you better get it set up and clean all the pine needles and dirt off the ground before the night is over too.” Carla turned around to put the tray of cookies into the oven.

“Of course.” Grisha leaned into to place a kiss on his wife’s cheek when she stood back up.

Eren plopped down in the chair across from Mikasa and made a gagging face at her; she couldn’t hold in her giggle.

“Alright, Eren, time to get the tree up and trimmed. It’s already halfway through Christmas Eve.” Grisha moved back to the tree, looking over the vast thing laying there in their living room.

“Awwwe, Dad, can’t we get a break?” Eren was already reaching for the bowl of cookie dough when his mom swatted his hand away. “Really?” he groaned.

“Really. No dough for non-helpers,” Carla said, but there was a smile on her face. “Go on, your dad can’t get that unnecessarily large tree up by himself.”

He sighed and moved to get off the chair.

“Eren,” Mikasa said, his name rolling off her tongue.

He turned back around and she held out a rather large piece of dough for him to take. Eren grinned back at her. “Thanks, Mikasa.” He took a bite and headed over to help with the tree.

Carla shook her head as she picked up the mixing bowl once more. “You spoil him.” She nudged Mikasa with her elbow, a smile on her lips.

Mikasa’s eyes were back down on the table, feeling that heat on her cheeks once more. Carla always gave Mikasa that look, that knowing look; the one that always made her feel like her face was on fire.

“I guess it evens out, because I think he spoils you too.”

Mikasa glanced up as she felt little butterflies in her stomach. She wanted to ask what Mrs. Jaeger meant but Carla was looking down at the batter.

“Here,” she said as she dipped a spoon in. “Tell me how I did.”

Mikasa reached out for the spoon, the thick white batter dripping onto the counter. It looked like it did when her mom made it on Christmas every year; she stuck the spoon in her mouth and tasted the ever familiar batter she had so many times. It was a little different; spices weren’t the same and it was a thicker than she was used to but that was okay. Carla had wanted to make sure Mikasa had what she was used to on Christmas with them, and just the thought alone was enough to make Mikasa feel at home.

“I know it’s probably not as good as when your mom made it, but I hope it will do for you.”

Mikasa pulled the spoon out of her mouth, looking up at Carla’s kind eyes. “It’s perfect, thank you, Mrs. Jaeger.”

“Oh, don’t thank me, sweetheart,” she waved it off, but Mikasa could see how bright her face looked. “I just want you to feel at home, especially around the holidays, that’s all.”

 “I always feel at home here.” She didn’t even need to second guess it. She had lost her home so suddenly, so quickly and just like that she was taken into to warm arms and given a new life to live. Her life should’ve been over, everything coming crashing down, leaving her cold and alone, but she could never be cold here. Her eyes drifted over to Eren trying to push the tree up, her fingers fiddling with the ends of her scarf.

Carla placed a hand on Mikasa’s head, brushing some hair out of her face. “I’m glad, because our home is much fuller with you here. Don’t ever forget that.”

“Eren!” Grisha didn’t sound too pleased as Mikasa looked over to find him hunched under the tree, trying to keep it steady in the tree base. “Will you hold the tree straight, please!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Let me hold onto this tree that’s about 10 feet taller than me and not have it tip over.”

“Watch your tone. Ah! Got it!”

Grisha stepped back from the tree as Eren let go of it. It didn’t even wobble let alone crash and fall. It took up a good majority of the room and only left a little bit of space at the top of the tree, but it was so green and made the whole room smell like pine. It was the prettiest tree Mikasa had ever seen.

“Yees of little faith,” Grisha pointed around the room. “Except Mikasa, I’m sure she knew we could do it.”

“I highly doubt _even_ you thought you could do it this time,” Carla chuckled as she poured the batter into a cake pan.

“How about we get some trimmings on the tree, hmm?” Grisha clasped his hands together completely ignoring Carla. “Come on, ladies.”

Mikasa looked to Carla, not wanting to leave if they were still in the middle of working on the deserts.

“Go on, Mikasa,” Carla said, nodding her head towards the tree. “I’ll join you guys  for the first candle then finish up here.”

Mikasa wiped off the flour and sugar that had gotten on her dress and her scarf before jumping off the chair. She walked up to the massive tree; it was even bigger now that she was standing in front of it.

“Here you go.” Eren handed her one of the candles from the box on the nearby couch. “We always light the first ones on together, and then we light the rest of them from these candles.” His fingers brushed against hers as she took the candle from him.

Grisha lit the match, holding it up to his candle. Eren quickly moved over to hold his own candle up to his dad’s causing the flame to transfer.

“Eager are we?” Grisha asked, his eyebrow arched slightly but Eren didn’t respond. He merely moved back to Mikasa and placed his candle against hers.

“There,” he said with a smile before looking  around her to his parents. “Ready?”

“Ready.” Carla moved forward holding her lit candle in front of her.

Mikasa watched them all place their candles near the center of the tree. Eren nudged her with his arm, using his head to gesture towards the tree as well. She reached up and placed her candle next to Eren’s.  She stepped back to where he was standing, his eyes gazing upon the four candles that illuminated just a small part of the tree.

“I think four looks much better than three,” Eren said thoughtfully.

“Couldn’t agree with you more, son,” Grisha said as he went for the box of more candles.

Mikasa felt Carla’s hand on her shoulder. Mikasa felt her nose prickling, her eyes watering. Her parents weren’t with her anymore, but she still had a place where she was welcomed, where she was wanted. A home.

She felt Eren’s fingers brush roughly against her face, wiping away the tears she hadn’t realized were falling.

“There’s no reason to cry, okay?” he said, taking one hand and grabbing onto hers. “C’mon, we can get the ornaments since Dad won’t let us put up the rest of the candles.”

“That’s because you almost knocked over the tree and set the whole house on fire, Eren.”

He waved his dad’s comment away still dragging Mikasa over to the other large box on the floor. “Just pick ‘em up and put ‘em on anywhere you can reach. Mom and Dad will get up higher, but we can get a good majority. They’re all glass so be careful.” He lowered his voice as he leaned into her. “Dad’s broken more than me but he doesn’t tell Mom that.”

Mikasa smiled at him, a small laugh leaving her lips. She stuck her hand into the box and pulled out a blue glass orb. It was stunningly beautiful. Mikasa had never seen anything like it. She held it in both hands as she gently hooked it onto the tree. Eren followed behind her, except he had three in his hands. She covered her mouth with her hand trying to hold back her laughter. She was pretty sure she understood how so many had gotten broken.

Grisha worked on the candles while Eren and Mikasa filled the tree with ornaments as high as they could reach. The cabin began to smell like the warm scents of burning candles, the strong pine of the tree, and the sweet aroma of baking cookies and cooking cakes.

“Mikasa,” Carla called over. “Come taste the frosting for me. I followed the recipe you told me, so hopefully it goes well with the cake.”

She scurried over to the counter, with Eren following close behind, and took the spoon Carla held out of her. She took a bite from the front of the frosting and passed the rest over to Eren, knowing that’s what he wanted.

“Mmmm,” she sighed. “It’s really good.”

Eren tried to speak his agreement with the spoon still in his mouth, getting every drop he could.

“I also have a surprise. They were hard to find but…” Carla pulled out a bowl of freshly washed strawberries.

“Strawberries!” Mikasa gasped, reaching out to touch the still wet fruits. Her mom always had a hard time finding them in the winter too. They didn’t grow naturally so she had to hunt down the right people who could get her some.

“Yes,” Carla grinned. “To go right on top of the cake when it’s done.  I remember Dad telling me about seeing the cake when he went over around Christmas. He said the red strawberries on top astounded him, so how could I not get them for you? Eren, touch another one of those cookies and you’ll be the one chopping firewood tomorrow morning.”

Mikasa looked over to Eren whose mouth was full, crumbs falling down the front of his shirt. She suddenly couldn’t stop laughing.

“Okay, kids, time for the final touches.”

Mikasa looked over to see the tree in all its glory. All the candles were glowing brightly and making the glass ornaments sparkle like they were made of snow themselves. She was in awe.

“Eren?” Grisha prompted. “Don’t you have something you’d like to give her?”

“I know, Dad,” Eren said. Mikasa could see his cheeks turn a little red at his dad’s comment before Eren walked over to a little box that was sitting on the nearby table.

“Here,” he said, handing the box to Mikasa. “This is for you.”

Mikasa blinked at Eren but she took the box gently in her hands. It was a simple looking box with a little bow on the lid. She opened the lid and pulled out a brightly colored paper ornament, a deep red flower; one that matched the color of her scarf. She let it dangle on her finger as she stared at it.

“Dad said that you always had paper ornaments on your tree when he was there, so we went down to the market and picked one out for you.” Eren glanced away from her as he spoke.

“Eren specifically picked it out for you,” Carla said from the kitchen.

Eren shot her a glare, his face getting red again before looking back in Mikasa’s general direction. “Go ahead and put it on the tree.”

She couldn’t stop smiling as she carefully put the flower in an area that didn’t have candles on it. She stepped back and couldn’t help but admire the little ornament. It was perfect. She turned her head back to Eren. “Thank you so much.”

Eren waved her thanks off as he looked away, his hand scratching the back of his neck.

“Only one more thing left.” Grisha was holding the silver star that Mikasa assumed was the tree topper. He leaned over to her and held out the star. “Would you do us the honor, Mikasa?”

She took a hold of the star carefully before looking up at the tree. “I don’t think I can reach it.”

Grisha laughed and held out both his hands to her. “I can help with that.” He gave her a kind smile. While he and Carla didn’t look anything like her parents, they still had that warm presence behind them; the one that made her feel loved and safe, just like her parents had always made her feel.

Mikasa nodded, holding the star in both her hands. Grisha reached forward, grabbing her by the waist and hosting her onto his shoulder. He held her scarf with his hand so it wouldn’t get caught in a candle as he leaned her forward over the tree. Mikasa reached up and placed the star right on top.

“Look at that,” Carla said, wiping her hands on her apron as she walked forward. Grisha placed Mikasa back on the floor as Carla came up being him, putting her hands on his shoulders.  “It looks perfect.”

Mikasa looked over at them, to the sparkling tree, and over to Eren who was standing next to her. She felt his hand brush against hers though his eyes don’t move from the tree.

“Perfect,” she agreed.


	10. Frost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 10 - Frost
> 
> Pairing: Mikasa/Eren  
> Setting: Modern Day AU where they are college aged.   
> Rating: T (for some language)  
> Words: 1890

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to do an AU with them so they don't have to be sad and kill things. Mikasa's parents are still passed because I just liked the idea of Mikasa growing up with Eren and them falling in love and Grisha making them embarrassed all the time lol

Eren thought he heard someone calling his name, but he also thought he was trapped in some kind of video game where he just had to jump over that ledge right there and he would get the next key or a shield or…

“Jesus, Eren, you sleep like the dead. Will you wake up already?”

Eren’s eyes unwillingly fluttered open at the sound of his dad’s loud voice. “Whadya want?” Eren mumbled, trying to roll over in bed away from his dad and pulling the comforter up over his shoulders again. He felt his dad grab a hold of Eren’s blanket and his arm, pulling him back. He let out a whine he supposed was far below his age. Whatever. It was too damn early for this. He looked over at his clock on his night stand. It was _way_ too damn early for this.

“Why are you waking me up? I don’t have class for hours.” He tried once more to roll over, but his dad was not relenting.

“It snowed last night so I suggest getting up and cleaning off your car before it gets worse and I have to listen to you complain.”

“You just want me to clean off your car so you can go to work don’t you?”

Grisha turned to leave Eren’s room but not without flicking on the lights causing Eren to groan and pull the blankets over his eyes.

“Wake Mikasa up too, she has class earlier so she’ll need to clean off her car as well.”

“I still don’t get why-” His bedroom door shut behind his dad. “I have to do it.” He grumbled but threw his blankets off; no doubt the outcome of not listening to his dad was far worse than going out in the cold; mainly because the “You still live in my house” talks had gotten old years ago. Eren pulled some jeans and a thermal on from off his dresser before heading out of his room and down the hall. Mikasa’s room was at the end of the hallway, just past the bathroom. He carefully opened the door and stuck his head in.

The room was still dark telling him she hadn’t been awake either. He slipped inside and stepped over a few of her books to get to her bed. She was curled up on her side, which was normally how she slept, and her blankets up to her chin. She looked so peaceful laying there, her black hair falling in her face. She hated the cold more than anyone he knew, including himself. How could he wake her up just to shove her outside?

He turned and left her room instead, closing the door quietly behind him. Eren figured he would go to the bathroom, come back and maybe she’d be awake by herself. Yet when he came back, she was still curled up, sound asleep; as if he had the heart to wake her up. He grabbed her scarf that was hanging on her headboard and crept back out, heading down the stairs.

“Thanks, Eren,” his dad called from his spot at the kitchen table, drinking his nice hot coffee, eating his warm toast.

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered in response, wrapping the scarf around his neck as he pulled his jacket off the rack and shoved on his boots. He grabbed his keys off the key holder by the door.

“Don’t get her scarf dirty; She’ll kill you.”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks, Dad,” Eren waved off his comment before opening the front door.

It was fucking cold out.

The wind bit through his heavy jacket straight to his bones; they all better be thankful he loved them so much. He pulled his gloves out of his jacket pocket and slipped them on before opening his car door. Snow fell into his seat a little bit as he sat down, tugging up the scarf over his mouth. Clutch in, break down, turn on the car. He cranked up the heat and set the car in neutral before grabbing the snow scraper from the back seat, getting out and slamming the door. Well that knocked some of the snow off.

He looked over at the three cars in the driveway; they really better be damn thankful he loved them.

He started with Mikasa’s little car, brushing off the snow, trying to avoid it as it came falling down in heaps. It reminded him of when they were young and how they used to try and go sledding in their back yard, but there were no hills. Eren would just end up pushing her around and pretending they were going downhill; until Grisha would just come out and take them and the sled to the nearby park where there were actual hills.

He turned the scraper around and began working on the ice on her windshield. Winter was never his favorite but at least it meant time off from school soon, though it meant finals before that. Which is probably why Mikasa had all her books out from last night.  He moved onto her windows, trying to make sure she’d at least be able to see. He wished he had thought to grab her keys so the heat could help him out some. Oh well. He scraped and brushed the snow away, his jeans getting hit with snow and giving him dark blue splotches, until he could actually see the tan car underneath all that snow and ice.

Eren smiled at a job well done and moved to his dad’s car; it would be nice if he could feel his ears though. He pushed the snow around and scraped at the ice, not really doing as nice of a job as he did on Mikasa’s but whatever his dad would survive. They only lived five minutes away from his clinic; it wasn’t like he couldn’t drive with a little snow on the top of his car. He did make sure his dad could see out of all his windows after all.

The snow was already melting on his car thanks to the heat; he brushed  and some of the ice cameright off. Ice was not something he was a fan of in the winter; he didn’t really like falling and smashing the back of his head into the sidewalk which much to Jean’s laughter happened far too many times in his lifetime. Mikasa hated the cold too but she always got excited to see the ice crawl up the windows, covering the car in the morning. It meant Christmas was coming though now it just meant finals were coming but whatever, he still always smiled with her that first frost; after that he just hated the snow.

The front door slammed nearly giving Eren a heart attack. He had to catch his balance against his car to keep from falling.

Mikasa was practically sprinting across the walkway to get to her car, her backpack slung over her shoulder. He took it she finally woke up.

“Hey, hey, slow down. What’s the big rush?” he arched an eyebrow at her while he brushed some snow off his windshield.

She halted in her spot right in the middle of the walkway and stared at him. Well, apparently his dad wasn’t the only one who never expected him up in the morning. “My alarm didn’t even go off and it snowed all night, I can’t find my scarf, now I’m running late and I have to clean off my car still. I just really have to leave now.”

Eren gestured to her car with his scraper. “I think there’s one step you can cross off. Well two, I grabbed your scarf this morning.”

It looked like Mikasa finally took a breath and noticed her snowless and iceless car. “Did you…?”

“Yeah,” Eren turned around to keep swiping off the melting snow. “Dad made me get up early to clean off his car.” He couldn’t help the roll of his eyes. “He told me to wake you up, but I couldn’t so I just cleaned your car for you.”

He felt her body run into his back, nearly pushing him into his car. “What? I just cleaned off your car,” he chuckled, lifting an arm to look at her as she moved her body so she was in between him and the car.

She looked up at him with those eyes, and that smile, and Eren felt like he had something in common with the melting snow.  “Thank you.” Her hands were tight around him as she tilted her head up to place a kiss against his cheek.

Eren pulled down her scarf from his face.  “I think we can do better than that.” He leaned down, his lips aiming right for hers, but she backed away, her cheeks turning red to which he assumed was not from the cold.

“Eren,” she mumbled. “Your dad can probably see us from here.”

“I just cleaned his car off, he owes me one.” He brought his fingers to her cheek and this time she didn’t pull away. Her lips were warm, a lot warmer than his he assumed, but it didn’t seem to matter since she only pulled him closer to her wrapping her arms around his neck. Eren brought both his hands to her waist before he trailed them down  to her hips, his body moving to lean up against her, pressing her back into the car. His lips moved with hers, suddenly not feeling all that cold anymore. How could he with her warm body against him, her hands on him, her lips with his.

She broke away from him, her face flushed. “I should go or I’m never gonna get to class.”

“That’s okay.” Eren moved back in to kiss her again but she just swatted at his shoulder.

“I’m serious,” she laughed. “But really, thank you for cleaning off my car. I’ll see you when you come on campus later. Okay?”

Eren looked down at her, still not moving his body away from hers. He reached up to his neck and pulled off her scarf. He unceremoniously draped it over her causing her to laugh again.

“Wait in my car, I’ll go grab my things.”

“You don’t have to drive me, I can get there myself, besides I have class way before you, you’ll just sit around.”

“Better sitting around there than doing more chores for my dad. Beside my car is already warmed up, just get in, okay?”

Mikasa was trying to bite back her smile but it wasn’t working so well. “Okay.”

“Alright. I’ll be right back.” Eren turned around and walked back up to the house. He wiped and kicked his feet on the doormat before opening the door to look for wherever he left his unopened backpack. Maybe it was in the living room? Kitchen?

Grisha was still sitting at the table, reading his newspaper. He didn’t even look up when Eren came back in.

There it was by the stairs; his homework didn’t even make it to his room but at least it made it to the house yesterday. He grabbed it and went to head out again.

“I’m taking Mikasa to class.”

Grisha still didn’t look up at him. “I see the snow wasn’t the only thing melting out there.”

“Goodbye, Dad.”


	11. Ornaments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 15 - Ornaments
> 
> Pairing: Mikasa/Eren  
> Setting: Post series. Takes place in the same story line as Family.  
> Words: 2602  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really doesn’t have much to do with ornaments lol Its a companion piece to Christmas Tree :3 And I got a little carried away shhh I just want them to be happy forever.

Eren looked at the large pine tree laying down halfway on his porch and halfway on the stairs of the porch; it looked bigger than the door itself. It was a scene he had seen countless times: the snow covered tree leaning up to the small cabin door as he looked over it. He just wasn’t exactly sure when he had turned into his father.

“Hey, Dad?”

“Yes?” Eren looked down at Nicolas standing in the snow next to him.

“Is the tree gonna fit?”

“Of course it is! It always does.” He pressed his hand down on Nicolas’ head, causing his hat to fall over his eyes. “Why don’t you go get the door so we can get this tree in.”

“Okay!” Nicolas maneuvered a way up onto the porch, brushing by the snowy tree to grab onto the handle and push open the door. Eren could smell the sweet smell of cookies baking, just like almost every Christmas since he was a kid. He wanted to leave the tree out here and go inside by the fireplace instead.

“We’re back, Mama.” Nicolas announced when the door was opened fully.

“Did you and your Dad find a good tree?” Eren could hear Mikasa’s voice from somewhere inside the house. Judging by the smell of those cookies, she was probably in the kitchen.

“The biggest one there was!”

He didn’t hear a response from her, only a little bit of shuffling, but before too long he could see her figure standing in the open doorway. She had that look on her face, that amused one just before she was about to tease him. She had both her hands holding up Carla on her hip, both their clothes covered in flour and batter. He tried to catch his one year old’s eye but Carla seemed far more interested in chewing on the blanket in her hands than what was going on outside.

“Don’t even think about saying it, Mikasa.” Eren said as he went to grab a hold of the tree.

“I’m just wondering when you’re gonna let your hair grow out and grow a mustache.”

He snorted. “Never is the answer. Will you help me please?” He saw her laughing which despite her teasing he couldn’t help but feel a smile pulling on his lips. Eren never got tired of seeing her happy.

“Nicolas, can you come watch your sister while I help your Dad get the tree inside?”

“Yes.” He reached his hands up towards Mikasa who carefully passed Carla down to him. Nicolas wrapped his arms around her waist before shuffling off out of view. Mikasa looked back at Eren, that look on her face very familiar. He had seen his mom give it to his dad on quite a few occasions.

“Ready?” Eren asked his hands on the base of the tree.

“Always.” She reached down to grab the tree and started to pull it through the door as Eren pushed at it. Branches bent and snapped as it moved but it was always easier than when he was a kid trying to get the tree through with his dad. It helped to have a wife who was still stronger than him.

“There.” Eren just barely managed to shut the door with the tree in the house. “Always just the perfect height.”

Mikasa let out a small laugh as she wiped her hands on her apron.

“Hey, hey, it’s in the house isn’t it?” He stepped forward to put his hands on her waist, tilting his head down to press his lips to hers. He felt her sigh into his mouth, her hands pressing against his chest.

“And it’s getting the floor all wet,” she mumbled against his lips.

“It’ll dry.” Eren moved to kiss her again. He never got sick of it, of her, of their life. If there was one thing his life taught him, it was to never take a moment for granted; bringing home a tree every year was more than he thought he’d ever be able to do again let alone all they had.

“Da!”

The small voice was one of the few things in the world that could tear him away from Mikasa. He turned his head to just barely see Carla’s brown hair in her pigtails and her dark eyes looking over the tree. Her hands were outstretched to him making grabbing motions.

“Hello to you too, Carla.” He moved to reach his arms over the tree and swung the little girl into his arms. He held her against his side before rubbing his cold face into her warm one sending Carla into a fit of squealing laughter.

“Please put your wet clothes by the fireplace before you move any closer to those cookies, Nicolas,” Mikasa said with a small grin seeing the boy inching towards the kitchen.

“Okay,” he said, his shoulders slumping as he walked back to the living room defeated. He gathered his previously disregarded winter wear to shove it close enough to the fireplace before taking off across the room to grab the closest cookie he could find.

“Come on,” Mikasa patted Eren on the back. “Let’s get this tree out of the way so we can get some ornaments on it.”

Carla was trying to tell Eren something, but between the syllables and gurgles there wasn’t much he could understand. She was happy, that’s all that mattered.

“How about Nicolas gets you a cookie, while Mama and I put up the tree?”

She nodded in agreement though she might have just heard the word “cookie” and been fine with whatever he had to say. Eren placed a kiss on her forehead before setting her down.

“Here, Carla.” Nicolas held out a piece of a cookie he had broken off for her. She took off at the one speed she had at the moment and sat herself down, cookie in hand.

Mikasa placed her hands on the tree once more before Eren helped her heave it over to where the tree stand was. She held it up and steady while Eren made sure the tree wasn’t about to fall over at the slightest touch.

“The top of the tree is kinda bent,” Nicolas said from his spot in the kitchen, breaking off another piece of cookie for Carla who was making noises at him.

“That’s because Daddy doesn’t measure a tree before he brings it home.”

Eren pulled himself out from underneath the tree to look up at it. “It looks fine,” he waved it off. He reached for the nearby box and pulled out four candles.

He had made sure to keep their traditions, both of theirs. Mikasa always made her mom’s cake and his mom’s cookies while Eren always took Nicolas with him to get the tree like Eren’s dad had taken him. Their candles were lit together before anything else went on the tree and the ornaments were a mix of both their trees as kids. As much as he wished his kids had their grandparents to help them continue the holidays, he could at least make sure they had a part.

“Hold it carefully okay, buddy?” Eren said as he lit the candle in Nicolas’ hands. He moved to place the candle against the two Mikasa held as well, Carla holding onto to Mikasa’s skirt, her eyes wide as she watched the lights.

Mikasa placed both her candles on the tree before hoisting Carla up in her arms so she could see the tree better.

Eren placed his candle with Nicolas’ before he reached for a handful more from the box. With his free hand he ruffled Nicolas’ hair. “Why don’t you drag the ornaments over here and start decorating while I get the lights on.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Nicholas grabbed a handful of the glass orbs hooked on his fingers and a few of the paper ones as well, carefully carrying them to the tree.

“Here, Mama. For you and Carla.”

“Oh, thank you,” Mikasa said as she shifted Carla to one side, reaching her hand out to Nicolas. He hooked a few ornaments onto her fingers before passing a paper one to Carla.

Eren lit the candles on the tree while he watched them, a grin on his face; they were placing the ornaments on the tree, well, Carla was shoving hers at the tree but not really getting anywhere. He chuckled, shaking his head slightly as he placed a candle above his head on the tree.

A familiar knock alerted Eren to the arrival of only one person. They lived pretty far out of the way of people, there was only ever one person who came to visit.

“You don’t have to knock you know,” Eren called out. “I’ve told you that countless times.”

The door opened and Armin popped his head in. “Trees a little big again, don’t you think?”

“You can go back to knocking.”

Armin stepped into the house, shutting the door behind him. He dropped the bag he was carrying to take off his jacket and boots.

“We’ve been decorating the tree!” Nicolas announced, still placing ornaments in all the spots he could reach.

“I see. It looks great so far.” Armin waved and made a face at Carla who was watching him, sending the girl into giggles.

“Why don’t you help them finish, Armin, so I can finish the cake.” Mikasa placed Carla down but instinctively stuck her arm out when Carla wanted to take off for the tree.

Nicolas ran over to hand Armin some ornaments and dragged him back over to the tree. “Thanks, Nic,” he chuckled, placing the few ornaments near the top of the tree. “Did your dad pick out the tree again?”

“Yepp.”

“No wonder.”

“Hey.” Eren looked around the tree at them. “Watch it you two.”

Nicolas erupted in a laughing fit, and Eren could hear Mikasa’s distinct laugh from the kitchen.

“Laugh all you want, this is a good tree.” He walked over to the front of the tree to make sure all the candles were even on the branches.

“Whoa.” Armin reached down to grab Carla who was ready and set to grab on the tree to pull it down no doubt. “I don’t think you want to do that, little girl.” He held her against him, poking his fingers into her stomach and causing her to laugh.

Nicolas was on his tip toes trying to reach a little bit higher on the tree. The bottom was completely covered but the top looked a little empty.

“Here ya go, bud,” Eren lifted up Nicolas and sat him on Eren’s shoulders so Nicolas could lean over to hang up the ornament. “Wanna pass us some, Armin?”

“Only if I can put the tree topper on, oh wait there’s no room.” Armin walked over to the kitchen to place Carla on the counter where Mikasa could keep an eye on her.

“Don’t be a wise ass, and come help me.”

“Eren.” Mikasa’s tone was warning, reminding him he had a little boy who wanted to everything just like his dad did. Old habits die hard.

“Don’t be a jerk, get over here.”

“I don’t blame you, I wouldn’t want to get in trouble with her either.” Armin patted Eren on the shoulder as he walked by to grab some of the ornaments to hand to Nicolas and to take some himself.

“Hey, Daddy? Can we give Moma her present now?”

“Sure, we can do that. Why don’t you go grab it.” Eren put Nicolas back on the ground before he took off upstairs.

Mikasa looked over at Eren with a surprised look on her face but he just motioned for her to come over with them as he sat down on the couch. She picked up Carla and followed, sitting down next to him. Carla crawled over into Eren’s lap, reaching for her stuffed animal on the other side of him before sitting down, her head rolling back against his chest. Armin sat in the chair nearby, stretching out his arms over his head.

“Okay!” Nicolas ran back into the room before shoving a box at Mikasa. “Here, Mama. It’s for you.”

“Are you sure you want me to have it now before we all open presents?” She took the small box in her hand, looking it over.

“Yes, Daddy said to give it to you now.”

She looked over at Eren, but he just shrugged. “Go ahead.”

Mikasa popped open the top and let out a small gasp. She pulled out a little red flower ornament and let it dangle in front of her face. “How did you…?”

“Nicolas helped me pick it out,” Eren said, reaching over to brush some of her hair out of her face. “I told him I thought Mama would like a red flower ornament, to remind her of the first Christmas we had together and he picked out which one.”

“Do you like it?” Nicolas’s eyes were wide, his hands on Mikasa’s knees as he waited impatiently for her answer.

She placed the ornament back in the box before reaching down to pull him into her lap. “I love it, thank you,” she said as she kissed his cheek. She looked over to Eren. “And thank you too. Thank you for remembering.”

Eren brushed his hand down to her chin, tilting her face up towards him. “How could I ever forget.” He leaned in to press his lips against hers, his hand against her cheek.

Mikasa leaned her forehead against his. “I’m going to put it on the tree right now.” She tapped Nicolas to get him to move before she grabbed the ornament and stood up. Nicholas took her spot on the couch, turning to watch her place the ornament right in the center of the tree.

It stood out against the green, just like Eren remembered the old one doing. While she didn’t wear that old scarf as much as she used to, seeing the color always reminded Eren of the hell they had been through, and the hell they would never go through again. Not on his watch.

Carla’s hand reached up to touch his face, Eren playfully nipping at her fingers as she did. She laughed a little bit, but her motions were getting a little sluggish, a little sleepy.

“Uncle Armin, please tell us a story!” Nicolas moved off the couch to sit near the fireplace, his eyes glued to Armin in the chair.

Armin leaned forward with a smile. “What do you want to hear?”

“Anything! But not the ones that you made me promise not to tell Mama that you tell me.” His face was a wide grin, like he was keeping in a secret he had just with Armin.

Eren had to hold in his laughter when he saw the color drain from Armin’s face a little bit. He could almost see Mikasa’s gaze on him.

“Nicolas, I believe promising not to tell your mother involves not saying anything about it all together.”

“Armin. Just what is it you’ve been telling him.” There was that tone of hers; the one they all knew all too well.

Eren leaned back on the couch. “Oh, it’s always a good day when that’s not directed at me. No, sorry, buddy, I can’t help you with this one.”

“I have one, Nic. Why don’t I tell you about the time that me and Lance Corporal Levi found your Mom and Dad in the stora-”

Eren didn’t hesitate to throw the nearby pillow at Armin’s head.


	12. Sled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 20 - Sled
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: At the cabin just in the winter time.  
> Rating: T (for some strong language)  
> Words: 3323

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOME FLUFF WARNING. Because I need them being cute in the current chapters. I planned this one out far longer than I ever should have lol Sorry if it moves too fast, I just wanted to make it different than Beautiful World which kinda deals with the same thing.

Jesus, did the girls have to make such a mess in their room? Eren found it incredibly difficult to maneuver through piles of clothing, books, papers, Sasha passed out on the floor and God knows what in the dark to try and get to Mikasa’s bed. There were three beds in the room though one was empty since Sasha didn’t quite make it. He squinted in the darkness. Why hadn’t he just brought his candle in with him? Sasha would never wake up and Historia wouldn’t have cared why he was there. Ah! Blonde; that was Historia’s bed. He carefully stepped over to the other bed, his hand reaching out for Mikasa’s shoulder.

“Hey, Mikasa,” he whispered as to not scare her. “Mikasa, wake up.”

She sat up so fast she nearly collided with his head. He stepped back, almost tripping backwards over something in his way.

“What’s the matter? Is something wrong?” Even in the dark he could see that worried face, her body halfway out of the bed.

“Calm down, everything is fine. No need to always jump to that conclusion,” he said, leaning in again; though he honestly couldn’t blame her. With their lives, it was the normal that was unexpected. Once she seemed to have relax a little bit, he stepped forward again. “Just come with me okay?” he held his hand out to her. His eyes were adjusting better in the dark so he could see her face turn from worry to confusion.

“I’m not even dressed.”

Eren looked down at her, her thin sleeping gown showing where the blankets had fallen off her. He felt heat rise up to his cheeks as he quickly looked away, his hand reaching up to the back of his head. “Well, just get dressed and meet me downstairs.” He slowly started to back out of the room. Wow, could you be anymore smooth, dumbass.

“Eren, what’s going-”

“Just promise me you’ll meet me downstairs.”

He could tell she was still hesitating, wondering what he was up to. “Okay, I promise.”

Eren hurried out of the room, shutting it behind him. What he really wanted to do was bang his head against it, but it was too late for that. He walked down the stairs to the main room of the house where he had laid out a jacket for himself, and for Mikasa. He placed a worn out hat over his head and shoved some gloves over his fingers. It was winter and the middle of the night; oh, it was gonna be cold out. He just hoped no one else heard him sneak out of his room. Mainly Levi or Hanji. Maybe just Levi.

“Are we going hunting in the snow?” Mikasa was standing at the bottom of the stairs wearing her pants and shirt, her scarf tucked around her neck.

“Good, you brought that thing.” He gestured to her neck. “And no, something better.” He held up one of the military jackets he had found early in the day while doing another round of cleaning for Levi. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Mikasa clearly wasn’t having what Eren had to say with that look on her face but she stepped forward to have him help put on her jacket. She zipped it up while he placed a hat on her head, holding out a pair of gloves for her; he grabbed a hold of her arm and started pulling her towards the door. He carefully opened the creaky wooden door feeling a cold burst against his body before he closed it behind them.

It was dark out but the moon over head gave plenty of light to see the snow covered ground in front of them. “Follow me,” Eren motioned before walking out into the crunchy snow. He didn’t need to look to know Mikasa was following him, he could hear her feet hitting the snow as well. He led her back around the house, careful to avoid windows, and to the small storage shed out back.

“I happened to find this today,” he said as he pulled and old toboggan out from behind the shed.

Mikasa covered her mouth as a small laugh came out. “You dragged me out of bed to go _sledding_?”

He could see the way her eyes lit up as she understood why he brought her out here. She liked the idea and she was busted. “Laugh all you want. You know you want to take this down that huge hill in the back. Don’t lie to me.”

She lifted her hands up in mock defeat. “You caught me.”

Eren lifted the sled by the rope and tossed it over his shoulder. “Let’s see if this thing was as good as the one I had back home.”

He started walking again, hearing Mikasa follow. The night was crisp and quiet. He found it to be a nice relief from all the planning and strategies that had been going on for what seemed like weeks now. Instead it was just him and Mikasa outside getting ready to sled, like they were kids again.

“Eren?”

“Yes?”

“What’s gotten into you?”

He turned his head to look over at her. She was beside him now, her hands swinging lightly at her sides as she walked. She wasn’t looking at him, merely looking at the ground, her scarf pulled above her mouth.

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

Mikasa shrugged still not looking up. “You just seem, I dunno, happy tonight.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, not at all. It’s…” she looked up at him with those eyes he knew so well. “It’s nice to see you having a good time over something. I just don’t know where it came from.”

His mind gave him a swift flash of memories of a field and a titan. He almost lost her, right in front of his eyes without ever letting her know how much she meant to him. How much he did want her around, how he never wanted her to leave his side. He was done taking things for granted. He was stupid to ever take her for granted and to not understand her when he knew her better than anyone.

“Sometimes life just lets you know when you’ve been an asshole.”

Her eyes were still watching his, her gaze unwavering. Eren just wanted to kiss here then and there; those lips of hers so inviting on that beautiful face he never wanted to be without, and with no one around to say a word. Eren cleared his throat instead and came to a stop. He looked away from her, dropping the sled onto the ground before pushing it right up to the edge of the hill and sat himself down at the front. “Come on,” he told her, seeing she was just standing there. “You’re gonna have to get on too.”

“Will it even move with both of us?”

Eren shrugged. “Guess we’ll have to find out.”

Mikasa seemed to think that was an okay answer since she sat down on the little bit of sled that was left. He felt her warm body press against his back; suddenly, it wasn’t so cold out anymore. She lightly wrapped her arms around his waist, her chin landing on his shoulder.

“Is...is this okay?” Her breath was hot against his ear. He hoped to God t she couldn’t feel the chill that shuddered down his spine.

“Ah, almost.” Both of his hands picked up her legs and placed them over his, hooking her feet against his knees as his fingers lingered over her thighs for probably longer than he should have.  Okay, so maybe having her wrap her whole body around him wasn’t the best idea, because Eren couldn’t even remember what he was doing. He could only feel her heartbeat behind him, every part of her body touching his.

“Eren? Do you need help?”

“No, no I got it.” He stuck his feet out and inched them to the edge of the hill, just so one more push would sent them over. Eren glanced behind him. “Ready?”

Her grip tightened. “Ready.”

One more push and the sled started to move. He hitched his feet up on the rail of the sled so they wouldn’t get in the way. It started off slow and steady, but the snow was slick that night and before Eren knew it the sled was going down the hill. He could feel Mikasa’s body shake with laughter, that laugh he so rarely got to hear chiming in his ear. The wind was cold as it blew and snow flew up at them and but he could care less. He glanced over his shoulder to see that smile of hers; everything was worth it to see that.

“Ah! Eren!” she called suddenly jolting his head forward. Her finger was pointing at something jutting out of the snow. He quickly tried to steer the sled away from the rock but he should have known how useless that was. The side of the sled hit the rock shooting Eren off of it and right towards the snow. He grabbed onto Mikasa to try and make sure he hit the ground and not her, right before his back landed onto the frozen ground, sliding himself across the slick snow.

“Oh God,” he groaned, his head hitting the ground. “Are you okay, Mikasa?” His eyes opened after the initial impact, only to find her face inches from his. He looked up at her eyes which were staring down at him. His arms were still tight around her waist, holding her body close to his. Her legs landed on both sides of his hips, her hands gripping onto his chest.

“Yeah,” she breathed. He could feel her slightly ragged breaths against his lips. “Are you okay?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“Yeah. I guess I’m no better at sledding than I was as a kid.” He tried to laugh and joke, but all he could focus on was how her body fit against his. The snow was cold and wet around him, but all he felt was her warmth on him.

“I dunno,” she murmured, making no effort to move off of him. Her lips twitched. “I’d say that was better than that last time we went sledding.”

“Yeah.” His mind was already hazy when she leaned her head down to his, her forehead gently bumping against his own. Eren didn’t even think he had it in him to hold back anymore. He tilted his head up slightly, just enough for his lips to brush against hers. Despite the cold all he felt her warm breath, her soft lips even just from the lightest touch.

Mikasa kissed him back with such a force that his head nearly hit the ground. His eyes widened as he felt her hand’s grip tightened onto his jacket, her lips firmly against his; like she had been waiting for that moment for a long time. His eyes fluttered shut pressing his lips back to hers, a hand reaching up to brush by her cheek and hold the back of her head. He probably had kept her waiting for far too long.

Eren’s other hand slid from her waist to her lower back, keeping her body pressed against his, his lips moving against hers. Nothing felt more right than just being here with Mikasa. Yeah, they were lying in the snow, in the middle of the night, in the cold, but none of that mattered to him. He pressed his hand against the back of her head, his mouth moving to deepen their kiss. Mikasa was the one always mattered, from the moment he met her. He had just forgotten along the way, but never again.

He felt the thin fabric of Mikasa’s glove brush across his jaw, her hand moving to cup his face.  He broke away from her just to place a trail of kisses along her jaw, her cheek. His hand fumbled with her scarf undoing it just a bit so his lips could reach the warm skin of her neck.

She let out a small noise, her body squirming slightly against his and it was enough to send heat right to the pit of his stomach.

“Eren,” she said in that soft voice of hers. Jesus, as if she wasn’t driving him crazy already. “Eren, we should go back.”

“Yeah, okay,” he murmured against her skin, making no effort to move.

She laughed and swatted at him. “I mean it, I can’t feel my legs.”

Eren pushed himself up from the snow, taking Mikasa with him so she was now sitting in his lap, only just noticing that the back of his jacket and pants were completely soaked through from the snow. He looked at her dark eyes, shining a lot more than usual. There was so much he wanted to say to her, so much he wanted to explain, but how do you tell someone how much they mean to you when you haven’t treated them the way they deserve? Especially after you just made out with them.

“Mikasa, I-”

“Eren,” she cut him off before he could say a word, a smile on her lips. “It’s okay.” She reached up to brush the snow out of his hair. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I know you, remember?”

“Then do you know how much I love you?”

He heard her breath catch in her throat, that slight widen of her eyes. He supposed that was a no, not that he blamed her, not how he acted. “Because I do,” he said, his head tilting in once more to her lips, hands wrapping around her wait to pull her in close again. Mikasa melted into him, her hands reaching up around his neck as she kissed him back once more. She didn’t need to say it back to him. He could feel it in the way her hands held him, the way she kissed him but most of all, he could look back and see it every day they had spent together.

He pulled away, pressing his forehead to hers. “Okay we can really go now, I think my ass is getting frostbite,” he said with a slight smile.

Mikasa nodded against him, clearly reluctant as well to move, but she pushed herself up before Eren followed suit. He grabbed the string of the sled and started it dragging it uphill as he and Mikasa went back towards the cabin. The wind was cutting through his now soaking clothes but it didn’t matter, he couldn’t keep a grin off his face. Mikasa seemed to feel the same way, down to the shivers going through her body.

“It’s not too far, c’mon, hop on,” Eren moved so his back was facing her, his arms ready to hold her.

“Eren, that’s really not necessary. I can walk, I’m just cold.”

“Are you gonna let me take care of you for once?”

That seemed to work since he felt Mikasa jump right onto his back. He looped her legs through his arms as he held her up, still dragging the sled along with them. Her head fell against his as he walked, her body rocking to the steady rhythm motion of his legs. Eren was happy just to have such a simple moment in their lives. He wasn’t sure when they would get one again, and as he approached the cabin, he realized it was probably not anytime soon.

“Are the lights on?” Mikasa asked, picking her head up as they came to a stop in front of the porch.

“Yep.” Oh, this was going to end wonderfully he was sure; what with them being in hiding and all. He was pretty sure sneaking out in the middle of the night kinda ruined that.

“Well, that’s Levi in the living room.”

“I feel like I kept you out too late on a date and now I have to deal with your angry father.”

“That’s probably how it’s gonna go.” She climbed down off of him as Eren abandoned the sled where it was. They didn’t even get to the door when Levi opened it.

“Welcome home,” Levi said, his face and tone anything but welcoming. Eren walked inside with Mikasa right behind only to find Hanji and everyone else watching them from the couches and chairs.

The door slammed shut making Eren cringe. All eyes were on them.

“So glad you decided to join us.” Levi leaned up against one of the wooden posts that stood in the cabin’s structure. “It’s been a lovely night as you know. I had Sasha come wake me up because both you and Ackerman were missing. Naturally she was worried what with keeping you specifically in hiding. So everyone got to wake up and look for you two only to find two sets of foot prints heading off into the back yard. You know, Jaeger, the next time you want to take your girlfriend out on a date, don’t fucking disappear when we’re supposed to be keeping an eye on you.”

Eren felt his face heating up, seeing everyone watching him didn’t help. “I wasn’t…we’re not.”

“Save it. The both of you are cleaning this house top to bottom tomorrow under my supervision to make sure you actually get it done and get it done right. Plus we’re gonna have a special winter training session to remind you to do as your fucking told, do you two hear me?”

Talk about getting berated by your father. “Yes, sir,” Eren mumbled, hearing Mikasa say the same.

“I don’t give a shit what you want to do with your free time but can you not go make out in the snow so you come back in here dripping water all over the floor.”

Jean choked on his drink nearby Eren while Sasha clasped her hands over her mouth as she spurted out laughter. Eren’s face had to be as red as Mikasa’s scarf by now.

“We weren’t-” Mikasa tried to say, her face looking tinted red as well, but Levi gave her a look that told her to shut up before she even started.

“You could learn to be a little more discreet. When you come back from being in the snow where Jeagers’ back is soaked and only your knees are, it only gives one of two impressions, Ackerman.”

If Eren didn’t want to die before, now was it.

“Don’t think you aren’t still getting up early. Back to bed all of you,” Levi barked causing the others to scurry back up the stairs. He glanced back over to Eren and Mikasa, both of whom hadn’t moved, before walking to stand by the railing of the stairs. “Your own beds.”

Well, he was pretty sure he set a record for the least smooth night ever and yet he felt Mikasa’s lips against his cheek, her warm breath on his ear.

“It was worth it. Thank you,” she said softly to him, a smile on her face before she headed up the stairs.

Eren couldn’t help but stare after her, feeling as dopey as he probably looked.

“For Christ’s sake, Jaeger, wipe that look off your face and go to bed. The savior of humanity a love sick teenager.”

Eren ignored Levi, trying to regain some of his pride to walk by him and up the stairs. Despite all that, and all he had to look forward to tomorrow, Mikasa was right. It was worth it; she would always be worth it all. He put his hand on the knob of his door. Oh, he was sure to get shit from the two boys he shared it with all night and he could still hear Levi’s voice before he entered his room

“I swear to God, Hanji, they don’t pay me enough to deal with horny teenagers.” 


	13. Bad Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad Touch
> 
> Pairing: Mikasa/Eren  
> Setting: Chapter 53, oh you know when ;D  
> Words: 1450  
> Rating: T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't get this silly thing out of my head so I just wrote it out. Come on, once she knew Eren was okay, how could she not notice that body of his. I liked writing this because I like seeing this side of Mikasa. She's a bad ass lady, but she's still a teenage girl with a big ol' crush on Eren. The title of course is the title of the timeless classic by the Bloodhound Gang.

Mikasa was normally tolerant of Hanji’s experiments. After all, Mikasa knew they needed to be conducted, and it wasn’t against Eren’s will, but she knew when enough was enough.

Hanji was still shouting about drawing his face and he had a firm hold on Eren but Mikasa wasn’t waiting any longer. This had been the third experiment, and clearly his body was too worn out for this; any longer and they’d lose him. Her blades slid through the hot flesh holding onto Eren causing Hanji to fall backwards still holding on to him tight. She was shouting something, whether at Mikasa or someone else she didn’t really care. Mikasa kneeled beside Eren’s still steaming body the moment she could. He seemed okay, his limbs were still growing, slower than normal but growing. His face looked like most of it was still missing, but his chest was rising and falling. He was unconscious, but alive.

Mikasa let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She placed a hand on his upper arm while Hanji still had a hold on him. His skin was still hot but soft and firm.

A hell of a lot more firm than she ever remembered.

Mikasa looked down to where her hand laid on Eren’s arm, well, arm wouldn’t be quite an adequate description anymore; _that_ was a bicep. Her fingers moved slightly over the dips and the bumps of the muscles that covered his arm. When did that happen? She had been with him every day since they got him back, and she was pretty sure he wasn’t lifting weights while being kidnapped. How did she not notice _this_?

She nearly had a heart attack when Eren’s weight and bare skin was suddenly in her arms. She quickly reached out to grab him before he fell on the ground. Chills raced down her spine as the skin of his chest brushed against her arms.

“Sorry, Mikasa, I thought you had a hold of him.” Hanji reached out to help steady Eren in her arms.

“Ah, yeah, I wasn’t paying attention, sorry.” She could feel Hanji’s eyes on her as Mikasa ducked her head under Eren’s arm to lift him to his feet. She reached her arm around his back only to have her hand brush over even more dips in his body as she held her hand to his waist. Mikasa felt a small gasp escape her lips as her eyes glanced down at Eren’s chest.

Now shereally  was positive he did not look like that the last time she saw him without a shirt on. Her fingers dug into him, her cheeks heating up slightly as her eyes wouldn’t move from those pecs and those abs.

“You got him?”Hanji’s skeptical voice snapped Mikasa’s head up, remembering just where she was.

“Y-yeah,” she cleared her throat, hoping Hanji couldn’t see the blush she knew was on her cheeks. “I take it we’re leaving?”

 Hanji was still eyeing her but nodded. “Let’s get him in the carriage. Chances are he isn’t waking up for a while.” Hanji turned away to head over where the others were waiting for them.

With a shaky breath, Mikasa tightened her grip on Eren and began to follow everyone. She tried to keep her eyes ahead of her but all she wanted to do was just stare down at the boy she was carrying in all his glory; to slide her hand off his waist and onto his stomach. The thought of it cause heat to flood her own stomach.  
  
_Oh, God_ , she mentally scolded herself, moving her wandering eyes back up to her destination. _You’re carrying your unconscious, regenerating, and possibly sick best friend back to safety and all you can think about is copping a feel. Stop it._

Her mental warning seemed to go unheeded since her hand slipped downwards slightly when she went to adjust Eren as she carried him. His pelvic muscles brushed against her fingers causing heat to rise up once more in her face and filling up her whole body this time.

Mikasa fully admitted to herself that she was in love with Eren but he had always been on the scrawny side. All of this muscle she was carrying right now was not Eren. Ever. No one could compare to Eren in her mind; not that mop of hair, not those turquoise eyes, that smile, that intense face. She felt her breath hitch just thinking about him, but there were plenty of guys in their squad whose arms, legs, chests were that of a god; Mikasa would never deny she didn’t notice.

Though that day in the field.

She had been afraid for Eren’s life, for hers, and knowing this could be the end she just couldn’t die without telling him. Feeling stunned would be an understatement when he stepped in between her and the titan Those moments were a haze but she could still see his broad shoulders in front of her, his arms reached up to protect her; she had never seen him like that before.

“Are you feeling hot, Mikasa?” Historia moved aside in the cart snapping Mikasa from her thoughts.

Mikasa didn’t known she made it to the cart. She looked up at Historia, the girl’s hands out to help lift Eren up. “What?”

“Your face,” she gestured to her cheeks. “It’s really red.”

Mikasa swallowed hard. “Yeah, Eren’s still steaming a little.”

_A little? More like steaming hot._ Mikasa felt her face heat up even more as her mind had decided not to listen to a word of her better judgment. She lifted Eren up as Historia helped pull him in. Hanji was already there waiting by the small mat. Mikasa jumped in and wrapped her arms around his body to carry him over to the mat.

Seriously? He even had to get the back muscles too? Her hands held tight onto him, but not without sliding down his back, rather unnecessarily, as she laid him down.

Hanji looked over him, his body smoking just a little while his body tried to grow back. “He’ll be fine, his bodys growing back just fine.”

Mikasa didn’t realize that was directed at her until she looked up from Eren’s face seeing Hanji staring at her; Mikasa also didn’t notice how her hand was gripping onto his arm again. She looked back down to Eren afraid that if she met Hanji’s gaze her face would turn as red as her scarf.

Eren’s face still hadn’t fully come back, but she could still see him there. He was never less of Eren to her; not for a moment.

Especially this moment because he was a whole lot of Eren.

Oh, Jesus. When did she turn into such a teenage girl? Still, now that he was laid out in front of her, it was becoming increasingly hard not to just stare at him. Her hand twitched away from his arm and onto his stomach, fingers slowly running over the bumps of muscle she never knew he had. Her fingers trailed upwards getting dangerously close to those pecs of his. When was the last time she had even saw him-

“Mikasa?”

Her whole body froze, realizing her mind had gotten the best of her in front of two of her squad members. She looked up slowly, seeing Hanji leaning over Eren, close to Mikasa’s face.

“Yes?” she answered in a small voice she didn’t know belonged to her.

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have any wounds there.”

Mikasa would have thought Hanji to be serious, but that wide grin on her face told her otherwise. She retracted her hand, placing it back near Eren’s arm as her face gave her away completely, she could feel it.

Hanji leaned back, still smiling. “Hey, at least it was me and not Levi. I understand, something tells me he wouldn’t.”

“I wouldn’t. Ackerman, feel him up on your own time. We do have more important things going on than your hormones.”

Even just the voice coming from the front of the carriage was enough to make Mikasa cringe.  Hanji was back looking over Eren but Mikasa could tell she was trying not to laugh. While Historia didn’t seem to care one way or another but the fact she was even here was horrifying enough.

The day she really got to see how much Eren had changed from when they left their home, was also the day her squad leaders saw how much she wanted to touch her best friend’s body.

_But,_ her mind prompted her. _You still get a ride in the back of the carriage with him._

You know, it really wasn’t that bad.


	14. If You Get Lost You Can Always Be Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If You Get Lost You Can Always Be Found
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Slight AU. Everything is the same, but Carla is still alive. I figure Eren wanted to join before she died, chances are he still would have even if she was alive, Armin and Mikasa included. In this universe takes place after Chapter 52 (it was started before chapter 53 came out).  
> Words: 4124  
> Rating: K+ (Little language)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for enchantedpetrichor! She was talking to me about Carla feels one day and I got to thinking how it would be if Carla didn't die. She's always been so super sweet to me in her reviews and messages from the very beginning of my drabbles so this ones for you, dear <3 There's a fluffy warning here too ;D The title comes from Phillp Phillips' "Home".

The small cottage looked just like how it did when Mikasa had left. It was still far away from where she, Armin, and Eren had called home for so long but once the wall came down, it was all they had now.

“Think she’s home?” Eren asked, shielding his eyes from the sun. His hair stuck to his face after walking through the town under the sun in their uniforms; both Eren and Armin had teased Mikasa about passing out with a scarf on top of her uniform. It figured the only time Levi would give them a mission alone was a brutal summer day.

“Probably,” Armin shrugged. “She never liked to go too far out here.”

Eren pushed open the gate and held it open for Mikasa and Armin. “Think she’ll be surprised?”

“That you’re still alive? No doubt,” Armin snorted.

Eren tried to shut the gate on him which only got him a playful shove from Armin.

Mikasa wondered if Carla thought they were all dead. She’d never forget how angry Carla was when they left. “Do you think she’s still mad at us?”  Mikasa glanced over at Eren, seeing a slight change in his eyes.

“Guess we’ll find out.” Eren hesitated at the steps of the porch, causing Armin to clasp a hand onto Eren’s shoulder.

It was a bittersweet task they had been given. On one hand Levi let them visit Carla for a few days, on the other hand they had to try and get information out of her regarding the basement and Grisha without alerting her to what was going on. Not to mention their friends surrounding the house discreetly to make sure nothing went wrong. For now though, Mikasa couldn’t keep her heart rate from speeding up; the boys probably feeling the same anticipation. After all, Carla was the only family any of them had left aside from each other.

Eren walked up to the door and rapped his knuckles against the wood.

“I’m coming!” a muffled voice called from inside the house. “Is that you, Louise? You’re never on time. Whether too early or too late. I suppose it’s nice you’re early for a cha-”

The door swung open but Mikasa couldn’t hear Carla talking anymore. Mikasa stood with Armin one step below Eren but she saw Carla’s wide eyes, her hand over her mouth.

Eren reached a hand behind his head. “Hi, Mom. Sorry we didn’t give you much warning. We only just found out last-”

Eren didn’t get to finish his sentence either. Carla threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug; one Mikasa didn’t know if Carla intended to let go of for a long time. Mikasa saw the tears through Carla’s closed eyes.

“Not mad would be the verdict,” Armin nudged Mikasa with his shoulder.

She felt a smile pull at her lips. For a moment, all seemed right in the world again. For just a few days, they could have a home again.

Carla pulled away from him, her hands still grasping his shoulders. “Look at you, Eren!” She grabbed him into a hug again. “You’re not the little boy who left here anymore are you.” She pulled away once more, her glistening eyes locked on his face. One hand moved up to his face, while the other brushed over the Scouting Legion patch on his arm, a few tears dripping down her cheeks.

“I never wanted you to join but I never thought you weren’t capable of it. I always knew you were.”

“I know, Mom. I know you did.”

Though Mikasa couldn’t see Eren’s face, she heard a tone in his voice she hadn’t in a while; a much lighter one.

Carla wiped her face before catching Mikasa’s eyes. “And look at you,”

Mikasa didn’t even have time to brace herself before Carla had her arms around her. It was an overwhelming sense of comfort to be hugged by the woman who had become such a mother to her when her own mother was gone.

“I’m so happy to see you, sweetheart.” Carla tightened her grip on Mikasa.

“I am too.”

Carla’s hands reached up to cup her face. “You’ve gotten even more beautiful than you already were. Are you having to fight off all the boys yet?”

Heat rose to Mikasa’s cheeks. “I…”

“No wait. I want to hear about it all later.” Carla gave Mikasa’s shoulders a squeeze before turning away from her. “Armin.” Carla opened her arms wide to him.

Armin already had his arms open for her. “Mom.”

“I remember when you were all shorter than me,” she chuckled pulling Armin into her and holding him close. “Of course, I remember when you were born.”

Mikasa looked up to Eren. He was watching Carla but a smile that she hadn’t seen in a long while was on his face.

“Come on you three, come inside. You must be hungry. I can’t imagine they feed you well at all.” Carla ushered them all in the house, closing the door behind them.

The small house looked and smelt just like it always had. Like home. Mikasa pulled her boots off knowing Carla didn’t really like them trailing dirt in even when they were kids. Armin dumped their bag off to the side of the door.

“C’mon, you can tell me everything while I make you something to eat.”

Armin was first in line causing a smile to pull on Mikasa’s lips; the mess hall certainly didn’t compare to Carla Jaeger’s cooking. Mikasa followed after Eren to the small dining room table off to the side of the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you got a day of leave. That’s pretty rare in the military isn’t it?”

Eren hesitated for a moment. “Our Commander just thought it would boost some moral so it’s a few days actually.” The fact that Carla’s husband quite possibly experimented on their only son resulting in him being able to shift into a titan was something the three of them and Levi had decided was best to not mention. It likely wouldn’t get the answers they needed, and might break Carla’s heart in the process.

Eren flopped himself down at the table across from Armin while Mikasa sat in her seat in the middle.

“Well, isn’t this a scene I’ve seen countless times,” Carla chuckled as she began to pull out her cooking utensils. “I’m just so happy to see you three safe.”

Mikasa had a feeling Carla intentionally left off the word “alive” as well.

“So out with it. I wanna hear about how you’ve been. I’m sure it’s not an easy life but have you made friends with any of the others?”

Friends. Yeah, they had friends alright. Ones who died. Ones who betrayed them. Ones who left without a word.

Mikasa glanced over to Eren; she saw the change in his eyes, the way the light went out of them.

“Yeah,” he answered with a smile for his mom. “We’ve made quite a few friends over the years.”

“Can you believe Eren actually made friends outside of Mikasa and I?” Armin spoke with a light tone, clearly trying to lift the mood that had settled over the table.

Carla’s warm laughed filled the room, brightening it right up while Eren tried to find something to throw at Armin.

“What about you, Armin? You don’t seem anything like that little boy who used to get cornered by bullies anymore.”

“Sometimes,” Eren snorted with a small smile.

“I’ve made plenty of friends, no thanks to you who made more enemies first.”

“Why does that not surprise me.” Carla pulled out her knife and started to cut up some fruit on the counter.  “How about lady friends?”

Eren raised his eyebrows, shooting an amused look across the table.

“Mrs. Jaeger.” Armin looked up in mock outrage. “We’re saving the world. There’s no time from women and romance.”

“Oh please.” Carla tossed the fruit into a large bowl. “I’m assuming most of your comrades are your age. A bunch of teenagers stuck together for months on end? I’d be surprised if woman and romance wasn’t the only thing on your minds.” She pulled out another bowl before pouring some cream into it, but Mikasa couldn’t tell what it was. Carla must have noticed Mikasa watching her, because a grin crossed Carla’s lips as she looked over to her.

“What about you, Mikasa? You can’t tell me you don’t have the boys lining up behind you.”

Mikasa’s head snapped up, not liking all the eyes suddenly on her. “I…well no.”

“So modest, Mikasa,” Armin leaned back in his chair. She knew that look on his face; it never meant good things. “We all know you at least have one admirer.”

A loud scoff caused Mikasa to look over at Eren. His arms were crossed over his chest. “Too bad he can be a complete bastard.”

“Make that two.” Armin still had that grin on as he watched Eren.

Carla didn’t try to hold in amused laughter. “I take it someone doesn’t approve.”

“Yeah, you’re right I don’t.”

Mikasa could feel the heat rising right up to her cheeks. She had never really heard Eren talk about Jean’s fondness for her; she didn’t even know Eren noticed.

“She deserves better than him. All he does is drool over her.”

“And saved her life,” Armin chimed in earning a glare from Eren but he didn’t say anything else on the topic.

Carla began to mix the contents of her bowl. Mikasa started at the white concoction, trying to keep her mind anywhere but at the table. Her heart was racing in her chest as she swallowed hard. This wasn’t really the dinner topic she had been hoping for and Carla didn’t seem to want to end it as she glanced over at Eren.

“And who would be good enough for her, Eren Jaeger?”

Mikasa was pretty sure her face was as red as her scarf but she looked over at Eren against her better judgment. He didn’t answer; he just scowled off in the opposite direction.

“Because I’ll tell you something.”

Mikasa could hear the grin in Carla’s voice; she had never been one to keep her teasing to herself; clearly nothing changed. Mikasa looked over to Armin hoping he would cut Carla off or say something to spare more embarrassment, but he had his hands behind his head looking like Christmas came early. Some friend he was. Eren was no help either since he wasn’t looking at any of them.

“I don’t think anyone will be in your eyes, so you better listen to what I told you years ago, you hear me?”

Mikasa watched Eren’s cheeks turn a shade of red but whether of anger or embarrassment she wasn’t sure; she wasn’t even sure what Carla was referring to.

“Okay, okay,” he grunted waved her off. “How come you didn’t ask me about all the beautiful women I’m surrounded with all the time?”

Carla let out a laugh before turning to face the table. “Because I don’t have to ask to know. There’s only a handful of women who could handle you and two are two of them are in this room.”

“Okay, I’m pretty sure ‘Let’s Harass Eren Hour’ is over. Can we eat now?”

Carla pulled out some bowls from her cabinet before beginning to pour the fruit into them. “It’s not a meal, that can come later today. Just something cool and sweet since you look like you’re sweating in those things.” She placed a bowl in front of each of them. “Especially you, Mikasa. Still wear that old thing everywhere?” Carla reached back for the other bowl and a spoon before drizzling thick frosting onto the fruit in each of their bowls and handing each of them a fork.

Mikasa’s hand fluttered up to the end of the old fabric. Most of the time she didn’t even realize it was there, it had just become such a part of her; she felt Eren’s lingering gaze.  “Yeah, reminds me of home.”

Armin let out a delighted moan before seeming to realize all eyes had turned to him. He looked up from the bowl, mouth full with fruit. He swallowed it not bothering to lick off the frosting on his lips. “Have you tasted this? I hadn’t even realized I was eating cardboard for three years until now.”

“Eat up,” Carla clapped her hands together. “And then no offense but I’m shoving you all in the shower. I’m sure I can find you some of your old clothes if you didn’t bring any so you can feel a little more relaxed.”

“We brought some with us,” Eren said in between pouring fruit down his throat. It really had been a long time since they ate anything decent.

Not only was the food in front of her delicious enough to forget her burning face, the prospect of taking a shower without a bunch of people fighting over the water was something she never thought she’d have the pleasure of again.

"Carla! Sorry, I'm late. Ready to go?"

The voice was unfamiliar, Mikasa assumed it to be the friend Carla had mistaken them for. Carla walked over to the doorway of the kitchen and the living room. 

"Sorry, Louise, you're gonna have to head to the market alone today. My kids are home."

Mikasa couldn't hold back a smile. Even after all these years, it was always nice to hear that she was still someone's child.

Unsurprisingly, she was the first one done and the first one up the stairs, clothes from the bag in hand. She almost wanted to just sit there all day under the water, but she didn't actually want to take all the warm water from the boys; she noticed they didn't start banging on the door when she had taken longer than her turn after all.

She slipped into her clean skirt and shirt before draping her scarf around her neck and opening the door to head back downstairs.  Carla was sitting in an armchair with a cup of tea in her hands but Armin and Eren were nowhere to be seen.

“They went upstairs to wait for you,” she said as Mikasa walked into the room. She took a seat on the small couch across from Carla. The cushions were so soft she resisted just leaning over and falling asleep on them; it was like being in the lap of luxury for a day.

“So,” Carla had that mischievous look in her eye, the one Mikasa thought she’d never stop seeing today. Mikasa’s cheeks heated up just at the prospect of what Carla had to say. “Where those boys telling the truth? About you having an admirer?”

Mikasa shrugged slightly. “I guess.”

“That’s not an answer, dear. Do better for your Aunt Carla who has been missing the three of you dearly.”

A smile tugged at Mikasa’s lips; Carla was never above using guilt trips. “Yeah, there’s this one guy who seems to be kinda attached to me I guess.”

“Details please.”

Mikasa resisted rolling her eyes; it was like she was talking to a teenage girl. “He’s very nice and a good friend. I honestly never see if he likes me like that, it’s just what I’ve been told.”

“Ah,” Carla made a noise of understanding. “That’s because there’s only one person in your eyes.” She glanced slightly at the ceiling above her head before looking back at Mikasa. “I guess I’m not surprised at all. It’s been that way since the day I met you. It is reassuring he has you always watching out for him though. I just wish he’d learn to do the same.”

“Wish who would learn to do what?” Eren’s voice came from the stairs as he walked down to join them. His hair was still wet, slightly dripping onto his shirt and his face.

“Wish you would learn to mind your own business, Eren.” Carla gestured for him to come join them.

Eren sat himself down on the couch with Mikasa, sitting just a bit away from her before stretching his arm over the back of the couch. He leaned back in a comfortable position; a position that military grade furniture didn’t really allow you to without a serious backache in the morning.

“About when you used to sneak cookies in the middle of the night because you would think I couldn’t hear you even though my bedroom was right next to the kitchen.”

“And here I was thinking I was the stealthy one all these years.”

Carla chuckled before placing her tea down on the table. “I’ll go get some drinks while we wait on Armin.” She stood up from her chair and made her way back to the kitchen.

Mikasa wasn’t sure if it was the heat of the day or the fact that she could sit down without having to worry about running off to fight, but she could feel her eye lids drooping already. It was probably the first day since she joined the military where she could just relax; they all could. They had an objective, but they had a few days to work on Carla. They could always just take it easy for a day…

“Hey.”

Eren’s voice made her head snap up. Mikasa wasn’t even aware that she was dozing off.  “Lay down its okay.” He gestured for her to come over.

She hesitated for a moment. Something had gotten into him, she just couldn’t tell what.

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s not like you’ve never fallen asleep on this couch before.”

Well, he had a point. They didn’t always make it upstairs late at night. She leaned over on her side, placing her head near his legs. Maybe it was a day off, or maybe it was because it smelt like home, and maybe it was because she could feel Eren’s warm body near her but Mikasa was asleep before she even realized it.

* * *

 

“Leave them alone, Armin.” A soft chuckle, a familiar laugh. “It does bring back memories. I used to find them like that all the time.”

“Yeah, me too,” Armin snorted.

Mikasa’s mind was hazy; she couldn’t even open her eyes. She heard a few words around her, but all she wanted to do was go back to sleep; it seemed like ages since she had slept so well. She went to roll over, to get away from the light noise but something blocked her way. A warm body pressed up against her back, an arm tossed over her waist, hot breath against her neck. It took her a moment to realize who it was.

“Tell me the truth. Are they really okay?”

There was no response for a moment, like Armin was hesitating.  “Yeah, they’re okay. It’s not easy, ever. But we’ve still managed to make it.”

“I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Don’t we all,” Armin said.

No one said anything for a bit, Mikasa found herself drifting off again; Eren’s warm body against her, his rhythmic breathing was too much to keep her awake.

“I know you didn’t come here just for a few days break. I’m not completely ignorant to what’s going on in our world.”

Mikasa knew she should probably get up, or stay awake to hear what else she had to say. That was why they were here after all, but she couldn’t even bring her body to move.

“I want to help in any way I can. All you have to do is ask.”

“We’ll worry about it tomorrow. I think everyone can do to forget for just a little while.”

A smile twitched at Mikasa’s lips; leave it to Armin to be the one to look out for all of them.

“Well, come on, I want to hear some stories. Tell me about your comrades, your superiors.”

Mikasa never heard what stories Armin had to tell; though she was sure of what ones she didn’t tell him.

* * *

 

“C’mon, Eren. Wake up and get upstairs.”

Mikasa could hear Carla’s soft voice, Eren’s body gently shaking.

“Yeah, yeah.”  Eren began to stir, his hands pushing himself up around her.

She was about to stretch her own body out, to get up and make the  familiar sleepy trip upstairs.

“Want me to wake her up too?”

“Nah, no need. I got her.” Eren moved away from her causing a slight shiver to go through her limbs from the lack of his warm presence. It was back in a moment when she felt his arms slip underneath her and hoist her off the couch. She rolled her head against his shoulder, her body so worn all she could do was stay limp in his arms. Her body rocked against his as his steady footsteps headed up the stairs.

“Please, Eren. Don’t even bother.” Carla’s voice was close again; she must have followed after Eren.

“Mom.”

“You can go ahead and put her in her own room but I know just as well as you either she’s gonna wake up or you are and you’ll just end up with each other anyways. You two’ve been that way since she came to live with us, and I highly doubt anything has changed.”

Eren didn’t disagree; he didn’t say anything really. His direction did change though, taking her somewhere he hadn’t been originally.  

“Something tells me your commanders wouldn’t quite approve of the little habit you two have.”

“Well, not even they know everything.”

“Not that many parents would either. Nine was already too old for sharing a bed let alone fifteen.” Carla sighed softly. “But how could I ever tear her away when I heard her cries at night, her terrors. Your father couldn’t bring himself to do it either. We just agreed to let it happen.”

Mikasa felt a gentle hand on her forehead, brushing some fallen hair out of her face. The familiar creak of Eren’s door opening told Mikasa everything she needed to know about where they were.

“Eren.” Carla’s voice dropped a few notches, so quiet, Mikasa could barely hear her. She figured Armin must already be asleep in the room. “You did listen to what I said, right? You do take care of her?”

She could felt the soft mattress under her, the pillow against her hair as Eren put her down. A blanket was pulled over her body, a hand brushed by her cheek.

“Not as well as I should’ve.”

“The scar there, it doesn’t make her any less beautiful.”

She could hear Eren’s sharp intake of breath before the bed shifted against his weight sitting down. “No, I don’t think anything could.”

“Nor does it make you guilty. You don’t have to tell me what happened but I see how you look at her when you don’t think anyone is looking. I don’t think she could blame you for anything that girl.”

“She’s too good to me. Always has been.” Eren paused for a moment. “Which is why I’m not gonna let anything happen to her again.”

“I know. Get some rest, Eren.”

“‘Night.”

The door creaked shut as Eren laid himself down on the bed. He pulled the blanket up over him, his legs bumping into hers as he rested his head down. He draped an arm over her body, his bed from when he was twelve never really was that big to begin with, and pulled her close to him.

It’s not like she wasn’t wide awake at this point, but better to not let him know that. Still, she couldn’t help but reach her own arms around him, much like they always did.

Eren placed his chin over her head as her face pressed against his neck. “I know you are awake so no need to pretend for my sake anymore.”

Mikasa pulled her head back slightly, so she could see those bright eyes of his. “I don’t blame you, you know. Not even when it happened.”

She saw something flicker in his face, but he pushed it aside too fast. “I know.” He pressed a hand against her cheek.

“Did we get the information we needed today?”

Eren shrugged, moving his hand back down to her waist. “Not when I was awake, maybe Armin got somewhere. If not there’s always tomorrow.” Eren yawned putting his head back over hers. “At least we got a little bit away from the military. A day home.”

A day home. Mikasa pressed her head back against his chest. One day she hoped they have a whole life full of days home, but for now, a day home was better than just about anything.

 


	15. Tale As Old As Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tale as Old as Time
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa, Ymir/Christa, & Levi/Hanji  
> Setting: Slight AU just so everyone could be at the formal but I wanted them to be a little older. So sometime later in the series.  
> Rating: T (Language and implied sexual implications)  
> Words: 9633

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This originally was separated for two parts but I'm just going to combine it here because its not that long with both parts together (and I've never been a huge fan of breaking stories up). This was a request from an anon on tumblr. They wanted a Scouting Legion Ball with the above pairings and it was too cute to deny.

Levi never prided himself with much patience, but even this was too much to ask of him. Give him five 15 meter class titans, he’d be fine. Give him a room full of six teenage boys, he was ready to pull his hair out.

“What is this?” Connie was holding up a piece of fabric that he seemingly couldn’t identify.

“It’s a bow tie,” Jean answered from nearby, looking in a small mirror to adjust his own tie.

“How come it doesn’t look like every one elses’?”

“We aren’t exactly rolling in money, Springer.” Levi looked through the box of clothes he was given. He pulled out a black shirt, trying to see if a shirt even came as long as he needed. Close enough. He tossed it to Bertholdt who was standing shirtless nearby. “Make do with what’s given to you.”

“I think mine’s a little big.” Armin tugged at his white button up before trying to tuck the excess into his suit pants.

“At least you got white. Isn’t this red kinda bright for a formal event?” Eren had his black tie around his neck, but seemed to be tying it miserably; not that it surprised Levi all that much.

“That one came straight from Hanji so be thankful you have one in your size. Reiner, careful when you move. You look like you’re about to bust the buttons off.”

Levi would’ve just left them all here to fend for themselves but unfortunately this ball was a way to get on the good graces of the military and the people who supported it and good graces meant more funding. So here he was.

“Having trouble, Eren?” Jean was pulling on his jacket, clearly mocking Jaeger’s feeble attempts.

“Shove it, Jean,” Eren growled back.

Jean gave a low whistle. “Someone’s on edge. What is it? Nervous to get dressed up for the first time in your life?”

Eren dropped his tie around his neck and probably would have managed to tackle Jean if Armin hadn’t jumped in between the two hot heads.

“Hey!” The boys stopped moving instantly. “Cool it, you shitheads. This is important and you will not like it if you act like animals out there. Trust me.”

That seemed to do the trick; Jean started to button up his jacket, while Eren went back to fiddling with his tie. Bertholdt stood off to the side tucking in the shirt actually fit him this time, though him and Reiner were the only ones without jackets. Built like monsters those two were.

“I’m not really sure how this works.” Armin was holding the tie Connie had given him. “But I’ll try.”

At least they all looked decent and not like the bunch of slobs they really were. Levi glanced over at one of the mirrors in the room. He managed to find a dark green shirt to wear under his long suit jacket. He wasn’t about to get stuck with the yellow one like Springer did.

“Thanks, Armin!” Connie looked over his bow tie in the mirror. “Cool.”

Better a real tie too.  Levi sighed and looked over the room once more. This night better be over before he knew it. There were more important things at hand than talking to the elite and babysitting these monkeys. Levi at least hoped once they were in the ballroom the women would keep them in line.

* * *

 

“Ow, ow, Hanji, that hurts!” Sasha’s hands were already reaching up for the brush that Hanji was using to untangle her thick hair.

“I’m almost done, just relax. The more you twitch away the more it hurts.” Hanji had gotten through a lot of it but Sasha had more hair than all the girls combined.

Hanji leaned back a little to give her back some relief from being hunched over the sitting girl. Ymir was nearby, already dressed in her floor length black dress; she had rolled her eyes when Hanji presented her with the dress, saying why the hell would she wear a dress with so much sequence on the halter and the bodice but Ymir quickly changed her mind when she saw the way it formed to her body. Hanji was pretty sure Historia’s gushing comments helped a lot too.

Historia was sitting down in front of Ymir, waiting for her to finish gathering some hand me down make up. Mikasa also sat close by waiting for her turn, her eyes locked on her reflection in the mirror.

Hanji looked back down to Sasha’s hair grabbing some of her hair off the top and put a hair tie around it for a half back ponytail as opposed to the normal pony tail Sasha wore; Hanji did leave a few strands to frame Sasha’s face. Hanji wasn’t entirely sure why she got left in charge of the girls, she wasn’t exactly the most feminine person out there, but there weren’t many girls here to begin with so she figured she’d try. “Alright, stand up, let’s see.”

Sasha jumped out of her chair, clearly happy the hair pulling was over. Her cream colored dress swayed as she turned around to face Hanji. She had thought the loose skirt fit Sasha better than a form fitting one; the tighter bodice and single shoulder strap also fit the girl just right. Hanji had already put a little make up on Sasha, much to her distaste, but Hanji thought everything looked just fine. “Beautiful. Just try not to spill anything on yourself okay?”

“Okay,” Sasha waved her off before going to find another seat, one where she wouldn’t get prodded and poked at Hanji assumed.

Since Ymir was doing just fine taking care of herself and Historia, that left just one girl. “Alright, Mikasa. Your turn.”

The red of her long dress might have been a little bright, but Hanji thought if any one Mikasa needed a little brightening up and Hanji couldn’t resist giving it to her when she a shirt that just happened to match perfectly.

Mikasa walked over without a word, the thigh high slit in her dress giving her probably more leg when she walked than Mikasa cared for but she sat down in the chair in front of Hanji, Mikasa’s expressionless face staring back from the mirror.

Hanji brought the brush up to Mikasa’s short hair. There wouldn’t be much she could do but comb it out for her, though her hair was already soft and straight. The brush didn’t get snagged on any resistance, which was nice relief from trying to untangle Sasha’s hair. Mikasa seemed unfazed by anything as her face watched her careful reflection, but Hanji noticed something different about the girl. Her hands wouldn’t stop fidgeting in her lap.

“Nervous?” Hanji guessed.

Mikasa didn’t answer, though her eyes did flicker up towards Hanji’s reflection in the mirror; that seemed to answer her question.

“Nervous someone might notice you?” Hanji tried again.

“Nervous someone won’t.” Mikasa’s voice was soft, and quiet; Hanji almost didn’t hear her. She put the brush down on the nearby table, and moved to stand in front of Mikasa. Her dark eyes looked up as Hanji reached over to grab whatever make up Ymir wasn’t using.

Hanji kneeled down in front of her. “I don’t think even he’s that blind not to notice you in that dress. I gave you the red one for a reason.”

Mikasa’s lips seemed to twitch into a small smile, her cheeks getting a little red. There, that was more like it.

“Okay, look up. I’ll make this as painless as I can.”

* * *

 

What the hell was wrong with this stupid piece of fabric? All Eren could do was tie it in a knot which looked stupid especially since all the other guys had it in that nice little neat thing. He let out an exasperated sighed as he angrily undid whatever the hell he tied it into.

“Want me to help?” Armin asked from nearby. He was showing Reiner how to tie his but Eren saw Jean looking smug in the corner of Eren’s eye.

“No,” Eren grunted, looking back to the mirror. If that idiot could do it, then Eren sure as hell was gonna get his.

“Stop being stubborn, Jaeger, and get your ass over here. I’m not staying in this room all night because of you.”

Eren cringed at Levi’s voice but he dropped the ends of his tie and walked over to where Levi was standing, despite the eyes in the room.

“Stop looking so grumpy.” Levi eyed Eren before grabbing onto the ends of the tie. “You especially have to make a good impression and make it seem like you aren’t about to kill everyone in the room.”

Eren didn’t answer. This whole thing was stupid. Why’d they have to dress up just to schmooze some old people?  At least it was a night off from training and there would probably be better food than they normally had and he could also just hang out with Armin and Mikasa all night.

Fine. Maybe it wasn’t so bad.

He watched Levi’s fingers move the tie around till it had that nice knot to it. He left it loose, probably so Eren could adjust it himself.

“And try not to embarrass yourself tonight,” Levi grunted stepping back.

“Yeah, I’ll try not to embarrass you in front of all the rich old people.”

Levi arched an eyebrow at him. “I didn’t mean in front of me. Just go and finish getting ready so we can get out of this room.”

Eren turned around, waiting till he wasn’t facing Levi to roll his eyes and adjusted the tie so it fit where it should before going to look to wherever Eren tossed his jacket. He didn’t have to look too far since Armin was holding it up for him.

“Thanks,” Eren said as Armin helped him get it on. Eren pulled at it so it sat right before working on the few buttons. It was strange seeing his and Armin’s reflections in the mirror; they looked so much older, like a class of people they really weren’t at all. Eren supposed for a night it would be nice to pretend. He just hoped the girls didn’t take forever to get ready. Eren wanted to get out there, have something to eat and sit down with Armin and Mikasa.

* * *

 

Mikasa’s eyes looked darker now as she looked in the mirror, her lips a slightly different shade. Hanji said she didn’t put on too much but it was much more than Mikasa ever had. It was strange; she didn’t think it looked bad, just different. Mixed with the bright red dress she figured she probably was going to stand out more than she was used to.

She said no when Hanji handed her the dress but Hanji insisted Mikasa at least try it on. She still didn’t like it when she tried it on; the thin red halter wasn’t so bad but the top pushed her boobs up more than she was used to and the slit on the side came right up to her thigh, showing her legs every time she took a step. Not to mention the completely open back, the fabric not coming back together until it was at the base of her spine, and the way the fabric cling to her sides, her hips. No it wasn’t her at all; which is why she agreed to wear it but it didn’t mean she felt all that comfortable. Mikasa knew she was going to feel even more uncomfortable in the actual ballroom because that’s when eyes would be on them, on her.

Her hands twitched in her lap again. It really wasn’t so much the eyes on her like Hanji had suggested; it was the eyes she was afraid wouldn’t be on her. She always knew Eren to not really be the observant type, but if she couldn’t even get his attention in _this_ she didn’t think she’d ever be able to.

That’s what scared her more than anything.

“It’s a ball, Ackerman, not a funeral. At least try to smile,” Ymir said as she looked over from Historia.

Easy for her to say. Ymir had been trying not to fawn over Historia all afternoon. It wasn’t working too well. Mikasa knew she was being immature, she was being petty by focusing so much on the attention of one person but what else did she have? She shook her head to shake away her thoughts. She was stuck at this thing all night regardless so might as well expect the worst and not get her hopes up.

Mikasa looked across the room at Sasha helping Hanji into her dress. It was strange seeing the woman normally buried in books and experiments dressed in a dark green dress that had a line of rhinestones along the high waist and up the halter. Hanji’s top was like Mikasa’s but she thought the older woman pulled it off much better. Hanji was piling her long hair up on her head while Sasha zipped her up in the back.

Judging how everyone was almost ready Mikasa knew it wouldn’t be much longer till they entered the ballroom. She couldn’t keep her heart from racing.

* * *

 

Any moment now Armin was pretty sure they’d get called away into the main area. Everyone was just kinda sitting there talking as they waited; it wasn’t like it took them nearly as long as the girls. Reiner was leaning back in his chair talking to Bertholdt about something the taller boy didn’t seem that interested in. Jean was going on to Connie about how there would be plenty of girls at the ball to go around, but Connie just wanted to ask what kinda food they would have. Levi wasn’t saying anything, arms crossed as he sat near the door.

Eren was sitting next to him, also not saying a word, which was a little bit unusual.

“Something on your mind?”

“Heh?” Eren turned to glance over at Armin. “No, just bored waiting to get outta here.”

“Not excited for the ball?” Armin was admittedly bored himself. When you were used to training and working all day, sitting around got dull real fast but Armin was also rather curious when it came to what Eren thought on this whole ball matter.

“Yeah, excited to eat. I’m starving.”

Armin rolled his eyes. He probably should have expected that. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what the hell did you mean?”

“Aren’t you excited to see the girls? To see Mikasa?”

Eren eyed him strangely. “I see them and her every day. In fact I saw her a few hours ago. Why would I be excited now?”

“Because it’s a formal, and they are probably as dressed up as we are.” Eren still didn’t seem too interested but Armin thought maybe he could catch him off guard a little bit. “I bet Hanji got Mikasa a real nice dress; one that makes her look beautiful.”

Eren snorted. “Mikasa doesn’t need a dress to look beautiful, she always is.”

Armin would never get sick of doing that to his friend.

Eren seemed to realize what he said the moment it left his mouth but it was too late to deny it, Armin already couldn’t hold his laughter in. Eren’s was too priceless, and turning a little red. “Shut up.” Eren grunted reaching out to try and push Armin off his chair.

“What’s so funny?” Jean glanced over at them.

Armin started to say “Well, Eren-” about the same time Eren said, “Nothing.” It left Jean with his usual expression when it came to Eren. Armin chuckled and leaned back in his chair; he had been looking forward to a nice night away from titans, and training, and 3D Gear, and so far it had been without even getting to the ballroom yet. Now he _knew_ he’d have all the entertainment he’d need.

Levi stood up from his spot on the chair as the door to their dressing room cracked open. Erwin stood in the doorway, dressed in a suit that was more like Levi’s than theirs.

“Ah, you all look wonderful. Come on, everything is all set for you to come in,” he said with a slight smile. “Everyone is looking forward to meeting our newest members.”

Armin stood up to his feet as everyone else seemed to do the same. He had a good feeling about this night; it helped that Eren was still sulking. Armin wasn’t about to let him live that down.

* * *

 

Ymir would never describe herself as a lady but apparently she was one of the few in the room who could actually put on a shade of makeup. Not very well, but better than Sasha who nearly poked her eye out before Hanji came to do it for her. Granted Hanji had done Sasha’s, Mikasa’s and was now working on her own while Ymir had done her own make up but was still working on Historia’s; yhat was mainly because it was hard to stare at her face and not get a little bit distracted.

Of course Hanji had to give Historia that dress; the blue halter with the neckline that practically dipped to Historia’s stomach, the one where the skirt in the front fell at her thighs but flowed down to her ankles in the back. Yeah, Hanji, not at all distracting.

“Ymir?” Historia’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. Historia’s eyes gazing right into hers as Ymir leaned over her, eye shadow in hand. “Is something wrong?”

“No, close your eyes so I can finish this already.”

Historia did as she was told and in time not to see the heat that had risen to Ymir’s cheeks at getting caught staring. Again.

She brushed some light color against Historia’s eyes. She didn’t think she needed any but Hanji insisted they all did just for the night. Ymir wanted to complain that all this was pretty stupid. Why they’d have to be here when only the actual important members would be of use, but looking at Historia sitting in front of her, waiting for Ymir finish the layer of makeup, it really wasn’t _so_ bad. She supposed she could put up for it for one night as long as she got to see Historia in that dress for a little bit longer.

“Okay, done.” Ymir tossed the remaining makeup on the table while Historia leaned forward to look at her face.

“Oh wow, thank you, Ymir. That looks really nice.”

“I still don’t think you need it, but whatever Squad Leader over there wants.” Ymir didn’t miss the way Historia’s cheeks turned a little pink at her words.

“It’s not what I want,” Hanji said standing up from doing her own makeup. “It’s what the people who’re gonna give us money want and that’s what’s important.”

Ymir crossed her arms with a scoff. Well, whatever, as long as she didn’t have to talk to them.

“Is it time yet?” Sasha asked as she reclined back on her chair.

“Almost I assume, just have to wait for-”

A knock on the door interrupted Hanji’s words. The door cracked open revealing another member of the Legion but Ymir didn’t know their name.

“Okay, ladies,” Hanji clasped her hands together. “Let’s get out there.”

Sasha jumped up to her feet, with Mikasa following a little too far behind. Historia stood up too, as Ymir took the spot next to her, one hand reached out to press against her bare back to help guide her the door. Even when they were out the door and into the long hallway, Ymir decided it was better to keep her hand there; in case something happened of course. She glanced down at the much shorter girl. She was the only reason Ymir didn’t put up a fight over this dumb thing, and it was certainly worth the view.

The ballroom doors were just at the end of the hallway. Two guards opened the double doors for them, the lights from the torches on the wall and the chandeliers glowing as Ymir followed Hanji in. There were a lot more people here than she expected, all dressed up much like they were. Except that group of awkward looking ones…oh that would make sense; it was those goons.

“I see a table off to the corner that is calling my name,” Ymir leaned down to Historia, not really up for talking to old rich people until she actually was forced to. She started to walk away from the others, but heard footsteps behind her that only meant one person. Yeah, it wasn’t gonna be so bad of a night at all.

 

* * *

Eren swirled the wine in his glass he was handed when they entered the ballroom. You did swirl right? Whatever. All he wanted to do was dig into all that food over there but no, that was for later in the night.

Levi and Erwin left them to go talk to various people around the ballroom, but not before a final warning not to make them regret not sending all of them away on a life threating mission instead. Eren only recognized the other members of the Scouting Legion, and he had already looked for Mikasa and the others but they weren’t here yet so he stood awkwardly off to the side with Armin, also moving the wine around in his glass. Connie and Jean had taken to sitting down while Bertholdt and Reiner got cornered by an older woman asking them questions, and eyeing Reiner’s arms. Eren would’ve laughed if he wasn’t feeling so out of place. He just wished Mikasa would get here already so things would feel kinda normal again.

He brought the wine glass to his lips; it smelt really strong but Armin was casually sipping at his next to Eren. “Have something you want to tell me?”

Armin chuckled looking over at him. “It’s not that bad, just take small sips.”

Eren tipped his glass letting some of the red liquid into his mouth. He resisted spitting it back out. “That’s disgusting.”

“Not surprising you don’t have any taste, Jaeger.”

“Shove it, Jean. You’re just lucky Levi threatened us or you’d have more wine on your clothes than in your mouth.”

“Oh no, I’m so afraid.”

“Okay, Eren.” Armin grabbed onto him, turning him away from Jean before Eren could snap. “Knock it off. Pretty sure I don’t want to be on the receiving end of Levi’s wrath.”

Eren grumbled but tried another sip. Nope still gross. He glanced around the room, seeing if anything changed. More people seemed to be coming in; all dressed fancier than they were. Chattering filled his ears mixing with the light music of the string band in the background; maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all. Besides it was kinda relaxing to not having people yell orders at you under the beating sun all day long.

He absent mindedly took a sip from his glass when he noticed the doors opening and a familiar face walking through; if it weren’t for the glasses he wouldn’t have even recognized Hanji. He tried another sip as he waited for the others, but the strong liquid went right down the wrong pipe the moment one face walked through the doors. He didn’t even see the others, that one was enough to have him choking on his drink. Eren nearly doubled over coughing; he felt Armin’s hand patting his back and Jean snickering somewhere nearby. Clearly he didn’t see what Eren did.

“I’m okay,” he choked, trying to regain his composure. His eyes instantly looked for the face which had caught him so off guard.

Mikasa looked a little lost, a little uncomfortable as the girls dispersed around her but Jesus did she look gorgeous. The bright red of her dress made her stand out above anyone else in the room, but she didn’t even need that; she was easily the most beautiful girl in the room. Eren’s heart wouldn’t stop racing as he watched her; the way her dress clung to her body, the way that slit moved against her legs. He hadn’t seen her like _this_ before and he just didn’t even know what to do but stare.

“Hey, careful there, you might start drooling.” Armin nudged him but Eren wasn’t sure he could make a coherent response.

“Let me give you a piece of advice, Eren.” He felt Armin’s hands grab onto his shoulders. “Go talk to her before someone else notices the prettiest girl they’ll see all night just walked in.”

The wine glass was taken from his hand before Armin gave him a sharp push. Eren didn’t say anything, but his feet did seem to be leading him across the room. He saw her looking around, frowning, probably as uncomfortable as he was, but he saw her face light up a little when he caught her eye. He raised his hand to wave as she took a few steps to meet him.

Even her standing in front of him Eren still had no idea what to say. All he could think of was how his breath hitched in his throat when she came to stop near him.

“Hi,” he settled on.

“Hi,” Mikasa said, a small smile pulling at her lips.

Eren reached a hand behind his head, scratching absent mindedly. What he wanted to do was slap himself. This was Mikasa for God’s sake. He had seen her naked. Okay, on accident but still. It was probably best not to think of that right now. He never felt shy around her before. This was stupid.

“You, ah,” Eren started, feeling his cheeks heat up as he spoke. “You look beautiful tonight. Not that you don’t always look beautiful because you are just the dress is really nice on you too.” Well, now he really wanted to slap himself in the face. Eren was ready to turn around and just walk away before he embarrassed himself anymore. Yeah, not so smooth at all, but a small laugh from Mikasa stopped him. How long had it been since he heard that?

“Thank you, Eren,” she said, her cheeks tinted red and with a smile that took his breath away. Mikasa reached up to adjust his tie for him. “You look very handsome tonight.”

He looked down at her hands, her red dress standing out next to him, but not too much strangely enough; his shirt seemed to match her outfit perfectly. He remembered what Levi said about it being straight from Hanji, what a coincidence.

Eren wasn’t sure what to say, so he just extended his arm to her like he had seen some of the other guys do. Mikasa slipped her arm through his and placed her other hand right on his arm. She looked up at him with bright eyes he hadn’t seen in what seemed like years.

Yeah. It wasn’t gonna be such a bad night after all.

* * *

 

Mikasa never had anything to worry about, Hanji thought with a smile as she watched Eren take Mikasa’s side. She had a feeling no one else was going to get a chance to dance with the dark haired girl tonight.

“What are you grinning about?”

“I, unlike you,” Hanji glanced over to see Levi standing next to her. “Like to see the young ones happy. It’s a rare event these days.

Levi scoffed slightly, signaling Hanji that her prediction was right, but he didn’t respond.

“Where’s Erwin?” Hanji asked, glancing around the now rather full room.

Levi gestured to a group of people standing around their tall, blond commander. “He wins over people far easier than I do so I’m leaving it to him.”

“I know the feeling.” Hanji didn’t mind being here; it was a nice break from the tedious work she normally would be doing but that didn’t mean she felt at home here. She could only imagine what people would have to say about her given the chance.

“You look nice tonight.”

Hanji recognized the voice of course but she had to physically look over at Levi to acknowledge it came from his lips. His dark eyes were looking over at her so she supposed he was talking to her.

“My, my. A compliment from Lance Corporal Levi. What a night it is,” she said, a teasing smile on her lips.

“Don’t make me regret it.” Levi was back looking out at the ballroom, his arms crossed.

“Thank you. You look nice tonight too. Though, I do believe we match.”

His eyebrow arched as he looked back to her. “Did you plan that one too?”

“Hey, even you have to admit those two look good together tonight.” She gestured over to where Eren and Mikasa were talking to a rather smug looking Armin.

“As long as they don’t start acting disgusting I don’t give a shit what they do or how they look.”

The band took on a louder tone as the first part of the night came to an end. Couples took positions on the dance floor, long dresses swaying and suit shoes lightly tapping on the hardwood floor.

“What do you say, gonna ask a nice lady to dance with you tonight?”

“I think you know me better than that. The faster this night is over the better.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t enj-” She felt Levi’s gaze narrow on her causing her to not even bother finishing her sentence. “I’m saying we’re stuck here so might as well make the best of it.”

“I’m gonna see if Ewrin needs any help.”

“Okay I’ll…” He was already walking away, not paying attention anymore. “Find something to do.”

Despite the warm atmosphere of the ballroom Hanji felt her smile fade away. With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she understood what Mikasa was afraid of as she watched Levi disappear into the crowd.

* * *

 

Well, this was boring. Connie had his head propped up on his hand, staring out at the colorful dresses and dark suits twirling around. He at least figured they would let them eat while all the fancy people spent their night dancing and talking and yet here he was, sitting at a table with an equally bored Jean and Sasha.

“Why’d they have to leave out all the food if they weren’t gonna let us eat it,” Connie grumbled.

“They will let us eat it; they just have to do it after the first round of dancing or whatever.” Jean seemed a little more irritable than usual; Connie had a feeling it was because Reiner was the only one out of them who had gotten asked for a dance. Granted it was a woman twice his age, but it still didn’t take away from the fact they formed the loser’s table; even Historia and Ymir looked much cooler than them sitting across the room at their own table. Connie couldn’t understand why Sasha was still stuck at the table with them; she looked gorgeous but no one really seemed to be paying attention to them at all.

“It could be worse,” Bertholdt said from his spot standing behind the table. “That lady doesn’t look like she’s ever gonna let go of Reiner.”

Sasha snorted in laughter. “Can’t say none of us got any action tonight.”

“Oh Jesus please don’t,” Jean put his face in his hands shaking his head slightly.

Connie snickered as he looked back around the room, trying to find the other people he knew. He had no idea where Levi went off to after they got here and he had only seen Hanji for a brief moment and Erwin was pretty east to pick out; he was dancing with some lady nearby. Armin, Mikasa, and Eren weren’t too far away; they were standing near the edge of the dance floor just talking.

“Just go ask someone to dance if you’re gonna sit around sulking all night, Jean. I’m sure there are a lot more older women in need of a strong young guy,” Sasha said with a grin, eyeing Jean around Connie.

He slapped his hands over his mouth trying to hold in his laughter.

“Yeah, maybe I will.” Jean pushed his hands against the table, standing himself up.

“I think your first choice is accounted for,” Connie nudged his head towards the trio of childhood friends nearby. He could see Jean’s eyebrow twitch but he didn’t seem as mad as Connie would’ve expected.

“Yeah well, it’s about time Jaeger grew some balls.” He held his hand out over Connie’s head.

“I’m pretty sure dancing with me is not the way to solve your problems.”

“Not you, asshole.” Jean used his hand to slap Connie on the head before holding it out again. “Sasha?”

She made a strange choking noise out of surprise Connie assumed but she still stood up. “This dress makes me look a lot more graceful than I actually am.”

“Just don’t accidentally kick me and we’ll be good.”

Sasha shrugged and placed her hand in his. “I can work with that.”

“Hey!” Connie shouted as they started to walk away. “She’s the only girl at this table, you better share!”

Jean just waved him off but Sasha gave Connie a thumbs up.

“Well, just me and you, Bertholdt.” Connie turned around to the other boy just in time to see a woman that rivaled his height dragging him off to the dance floor. Connie sighed and let his head hit his hand once more. Well, this was boring.

* * *

 

Ymir pressed her wine glass to her lips, letting the alcohol into her mouth. Historia sat nearby, her eyes watching over the crowd of people dancing. Ymir had snagged two wine glasses off one the trays from a waiter who walked by but Historia hadn’t really touched hers. Ymir didn’t care whether Historia drank it or not, Ymir was still enjoying herself; sitting back in her chair with a content sigh she watched the people out on the floor. They all looked ridiculous dancing around in circles, just showing off their fancy clothes, chatting away about who was richer or whatever.

Historia on the other hand seemed a little mesmerized by them. She watched them with a small smile. Well, as long as she was enjoying herself too, even if it was for the opposite reason.

“Look,” Historia said, gesturing out to the dance floor. “There’s Sasha and Jean.”

“Jesus, that one looked like it hurt.”

“He seems to be okay.” She winced for Jean.

“Yeah unless she gets him again. I’d love to see his excuses for why he can’t train tomorrow.”

Historia covered her mouth trying to hold back a laugh but it didn’t work so well for her. Ymir took another sip from her glass. She was more than happy to sit here with Historia and not be bothered by anyone. It was the first time she felt like she could sit on her ass for a long period of time in ages uncomfortable ass dress and all.

“Ymir?” Historia looked over at her mid sip.

“Hmm?”

“Would you want to dance?”

Ymir had to put down her cup before she choked on it in laughter. “With one of those bastards I don’t think so.”

“No,” Historia said, looking away slightly. “I meant with me. It’s not that uncommon for two…friends to share a dance together when all the men are preoccupied.” She looked over to meet Ymir’s eyes. “Only if you wanted to.”

Ymir was feeling perfectly fine just sitting here, sipping at her wine, but she suddenly felt a strong urge to take up Historia’s offer. Ymir didn’t dance, ever in her life and yet she wanted to. She wasn’t about to admit it to anyone but it was solely because how could Ymir say no to her? The thought of dancing with Historia, having her hands on her, was also the very opposite of appalling.

“If it makes you happy,” Ymir answered pushing herself up to her feet.

Historia also jumped up to her feet, and held her hand out to Ymir. “Shall we?” she asked, trying to keep a serious face, but her smile was pushing through making her eyes light up and taking away from that attempt at a serious face.

Ymir rolled her eyes, but even she was having a hard time keeping a straight face too. They walked to the edge of the dance floor, not really wanting to be mixed up with everyone, just off to the side in a quiet corner of the room. Historia was a lot shorter than Ymir but not enough to be uncomfortable. She placed a hand on her waist, willing her fingers not to press up against her soft side, while she held out her other hand for Historia to take. She placed her hand on Ymir’s shoulder and her other hand right on Ymir’s outstretched one.

Ymir didn’t actually know any of the dance that was currently going on but she didn’t give a shit. She swayed her body to the upbeat music, though she felt a little ridiculous. This was not her forte at all, but Historia had a smile on as she followed whatever shit Ymir was making up on the spot.

That was enough to make Ymir enjoy her night a lot more.

* * *

 

Armin walked back over to the table where his other friends were, but only found Connie left at the table. The poor guy looked like he was going to fall asleep.

“Everyone abandon you?”

Connie nodded his head wearily. “I don’t care about that; I just want to eat already. How are they all not passing out yet?” He gestured frantically to all the people dancing.

Armin pulled a chair out next to him and sat down, looking out to the ballroom. There were quite a few people out there; not many were left around the sides of the room.

“You get abandoned too?” Connie asked, putting his head back in his hand.

Armin shook his head. “Nah, I forcibly shoved them away from me.” He gestured over to one pair standing a little away from the crowd. Both Eren and Mikasa looked a little bit lost; Eren managed to hold onto her right, his hand on her waist but at an arm’s length away from him. Her hand was brushing against his shoulder, the other one being held onto by Eren, but they were both so stiff about it. It was uncomfortable just watching them, let alone being them.

“Come on, Eren,” Armin sighed slightly to himself. “Man up already.” It wasn’t always easy dealing with his two best friends who had been in love with each other for as long as Armin could remember but refused to admit to themselves let alone each other. In fact, it was normally very frustrating.

“He looks like he has the plague,” Connie said, leaning forward to get a better look.

Armin snorted. “I expected Mikasa to take the lead, but I think she got a little star struck out there.”

Eren was looking around, maybe trying to see what he was doing wrong; hopefully at least. Armin was about one step from sending Connie to go bump into them when he saw Eren slide his hand from her waist to her back, pulling her into him much closer than he before. Mikasa looked surprised from what Armin could tell, but she had a smile on her lips, using her hand on his shoulder to pull herself closer. Eren said something to her, which of course Armin couldn’t hear, but that was okay. Mikasa talked back to him, her eyes watching his; at least they stopped looking like they were strangers who never saw each other before; though Armin kinda wondered if it wasn’t really too far from the truth.

“Huh,” Connie squinted his eyes trying to get a better look. “Mikasa looks really happy; a lot more than I’ve ever seen her.”

She really did. Despite what he knew people thought about Mikasa being emotionless, it wasn’t anywhere near the truth. Armin saw her happy, he saw her heartbroken and he saw everything in between; more so than even Eren who Armin knew Mikasa hid a lot of her feelings from.

“She’s waited a long time for him.” Armin leaned back in his chair.

Eren let her go to spin her around where the music indicated, the rest of the dancers doing the same. He pulled her back in, probably with a little more force than he intended, causing her body to fall right into his, both hands pressed up against his chest. She looked up to him, Armin figured she didn’t quite want to move, as Eren reached up to brush some hair out of her face.

Armin had to bite back a grin. He felt like his children were growing up in front of his eyes but it was up to them now. Armin looked over to Connie who wasn’t paying attention at all. “Come on,” Armin pushed himself up from his seat. “Let’s go see if we can find waiters with some food lingering around.”

Connie jumped up to his feet. “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

Armin glanced back over at his friends. They were still swaying to the music, but Eren hadn’t let her go from her close proximity. Armin wasn’t sure he ever would at this point.

Atta boy.

* * *

 

Mikasa could barely hear the music in the background the way her pulse was pounding in her ears. Her fingers grasped onto the front of his suit as she looked up at him; both his hands were resting on her waist, still keeping her close to him.

“Sorry,” he murmured. His apology made Mikasa think he was going to let go, that they’d go back to their at arm’s length dance but his grasp on her only got tighter.

She reached her hands up and around his neck, her body following the motions he was making. She was sure they weren’t right for whatever dance was playing, but she was having a hard time actually caring. His warm breath was on her face as he looked at her sending chills down her spine, his hands on her bare back making goosebumps rise on her skin.

“Thanks,” he said, kicking her out of her thoughts. He had a small smile on his face, one she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“For what?”

“For making this stupid thing completely bearable.”

Mikasa tried to bite back a laugh but it didn’t work. He did have a point; she had a feeling she wouldn’t be feeling so light and so carefree for once if it wasn’t for him.

“But,” Eren spoke again, his eyes locked onto hers though he seemed a little different. “I guess that shouldn’t surprise me. You make my life more bearable, make it worth something.”

There was no hiding the heat she felt flush her cheeks now.  That was…he never talked to her like that before; not since they were children. “Eren?”

His eyes widened, like he understood the implications of what spilt from his mouth. His own cheeks tinted red. “Well, it’s the truth. I…” he hesitated, his jaw clenching.

Mikasa watched him carefully; this wasn’t like Eren.  Her eyebrows furrowed as she watched him, as she felt his body stop swaying.

“I couldn’t imagine my life without you. Its, um, easy to see when we fight that I don’t want anything to happen to you but…” he paused again, reaching a hand up to her cheek, brushing his fingers by. “But even in the everyday. Er, well this isn’t really every day but I…”

She couldn’t hold in her smile at his words, though he seemed to be struggling with them. Mikasa wasn’t much of a talker either, so she understood the difficulty he must be having; she thought it might be best to put him out of his misery.

“I know,” she said, nodding to let him know it was okay. “I understand.”

Eren leaned his head down, pressing his forehead to hers; his breath on her lips. “I know you do, better than anyone I’m sure.” He tilted his head slightly, his lips just barely brushing hers, like he was unsure of what to do; unsure if this was okay.

Mikasa met his lips with such force she thought she was gonna knock him over. She felt him gasp against her mouth but he didn’t pull away; he reached his other hand up to hold onto her face as she felt his lips move with hers. Her heart was pounding in her chest, heat filling her body.

She pulled away from him slightly, but still keeping her face close. His cheeks were tinted red, but there was a grin on his lips while his hands held onto her, seemingly unwilling to let go. She reached her hand up to place it on top of his.

“You really do look beautiful tonight.”

“When did you get so smooth, Eren Jaeger?” she murmured, well aware her own cheeks were flushed.

“It’s the suit.”

Mikasa laughed as his hands dropped back to her waist. She reached her arms back around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. His body started to move once more, swaying hers to the soft beat of the music. She felt her age for once. Just a girl; no uniform, no weapons, no fighting, just dancing with the one boy whose arms she was happy to be in. She was more than ready for this night to last for as long as it could.

* * *

 

No one had really wanted to talk to Levi, which wasn’t too surprising; they were too busy over getting in line to dance with Erwin next. Levi, on the other hand, was leaning up against a table keeping an eye on those shitty brats so they didn’t embarrass him. Most of them seemed to be doing okay. He had already watched Jean, with a slight limp in his step, hand over Sasha to Connie who wasn’t very graceful stuffing his face with some of the food he found with Armin; maybe Connie would’ve better luck dancing with Sasha. Reiner seemed to be rather popular with the women, of all ages, but Bertholdt couldn’t seem to get away from the woman who had never met a man her height before; Levi only hoped he didn’t start sweating on her or some shit. He couldn’t see Ymir and Historia but he figured they found some dark corner of the room to live in. Of course, Eren and Mikasa were acting disgusting on the dance floor like he figured they would.

“Keeping a close eye on everyone I see.”

Levi glanced over to Erwin who had come to lean on the table next to him. “Yeah, rather beat them myself than have them being embarrassing.”

“They seem to be getting along just fine. I’ve heard many compliments on their behavior for being the youngest ones in the room.” Erwin looked over to Levi, a smile on his lips. “All thanks to them being terrified of you.”

“Whatever works.”

Erwin chuckled, crossing his arms across his chest. “Everything else seems to be going well. I’ve talked to many people tonight and they seem to have a more positive light for us now.”

“Just get us the damn money and I’ll be happy.”

“Are you even gonna try and enjoy yourself?” Erwin turned to look at him again, one eyebrow arched.

“I am.”

“You aren’t and neither is she.” Erwin gestured off to the side causing Levi to follow Erwin’s hand, but Levi already knew who was sitting there; he had been keeping an eye on her too. Hanji was there for a while, sitting down in her chair, looking out over the room. She didn’t give any indication of being upset, but she didn’t really look all that thrilled either.

“I’m not Hanji’s babysitter,” Levi said.

“You aren’t _anyone’s_ babysitter, Levi. I never asked you to be so stop avoiding actually trying to have a little fun.”

Levi chose not to respond, he merely looked back out to the ballroom, but of course Erwin didn’t want to give up that easy.

His commander leaned in, his voice low. “I don’t think I need to explain to you what it’s like to regret all the things you could’ve done once it’s too late.”

Dammit. Erwin had to pull that card. He really was a bastard of a commander but one who was right. Levi wasn’t about to admit that to him though.

“Fine,” Levi grunted, turning around before he had to bear witness to Erwin’s smug face. He walked over to where Hanji was paying no attention at all from her seat. He didn’t even bother trying to get her to look he just extended his hand to her. “Come on.”

Hanji jumped in her seat a little, clearly surprised. She looked to his hand and up to him, blinking as her eyebrows furrowed. “Levi, wh-”

“Are you coming or not?”

She placed her hand in his as he helped her up onto his feet and led her out to the dance floor. One hand on her waist, the one still holding her hand raised and he started to lead her into the dance.

“What’s gotten into you?” Hanji asked, still eyeing him.

Levi arched an eyebrow at her. “It’s rather boring standing there doing nothing. Just as I figure it was boring sitting there doing nothing as well.”

Hanji didn’t deny it.

“Besides,” Levi grunted. “I thought it was a shame you got all dressed up and were sitting alone.”

She let out a loud laugh. “Bullshit, Levi. I know you. You can’t even begin to fool me. It was Erwin wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, he’s a conniving bastard.”

A smile was still pulling at her lips. “Thank you for trying.”

He let her go, letting her spin out and back into him. He had been to enough of these stupid things to know how this went.  “I still don’t know why you were sitting alone. It’s not like you don’t look better than half these hags here.”

Hanji chuckled, as her hand landed on his shoulder again. “I appreciate that but my reputation precedes me. I don’t think they want to have a conversation with someone like me.”

Levi snorted. “Then they’re the ones missing out.”

Hanji looked surprised for a moment. He didn’t know why, he was only telling her the truth. Yeah she liked some weird ass things, but that didn’t take away from herself as a person. He’d trust his life with her. That wasn’t something he did with everyone.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“You can be really sweet when you want to be, you know.”

“Shut the hell up.”

* * *

 

Ymir really wasn’t that great at dancing, but Historia figured she wasn’t much better. They basically just swayed back and forth on the spot, with a dip once or twice from Ymir who thought her face looked funny when she did. Historia laughed as Ymir pulled her back up. No one bothered them, no one even really noticed them and for once it was nice. She felt like her uniform, that symbol on her back always gave her unwanted attention, but here she could just be happy, even if just for the night.

“You’re a horrible dancer you know,” Historia laughed, placing her hands around Ymir’s neck again.

“Like you’re miss twinkle toes either. I think I’m gonna have bruises from how many times you’ve stepped on my feet.”

Historia slapped Ymir on the shoulder, but she was still grinning; it was hard not to. She could stay here all night just swaying with Ymir, laughing.

Until the music stopped that was.

Historia turned to squint at the stage, some guy was talking and most everyone was leaving the dance floor to various tables set off to the side.

“Looks like we can finally eat,” Ymir said, but she hadn’t let go of Historia yet.

As hungry as she was, she had been having plenty of fun without an interruption like this; sitting down around a table with a bunch of people seemed to be the opposite of fun. She looked up to Ymir.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Ymir mumbled. “You know someone’s gonna come looking if we don’t show our shining faces.”

Historia let out a huff of breath that blew her bangs up a little bit causing Ymir to crack a grin. “After you, c’mon, let’s make sure those goons don’t embarrass themselves.”

She nodded and followed after Ymir, but Historia hoped there would be another round of dancing after dinner.

* * *

 

Everyone had made the way back to their seats but Jean was already sitting down. Sasha was a nice girl but, Jesus, was he gonna have bruises on his shins, and his thigh? He shook his head. He was more than ready to eat.

“Don’t eat like the asses you all can be,” Levi warned as Armin sat down next to Jean, Sasha and Connie sitting down on the other side of him. “And don’t over eat. If you think I’m catering to any of you if you get sick you have another fucking thing coming.”

“Bon appetite,” Jean muttered causing a choked laugh from Connie. Well, at least he seemed to have fair better with Queen of the Legs over there. For the first time all night he saw Ymir and Historia sit down at their table. Where had those two been all night? Reiner plopped down on a chair before Jean got a chance to ask.

“Those women are relentless.”

“It’s not their fault you’re built like some god of their dreams or some shit,” Ymir snorted, leaning her arm on the table.

Reiner opened his mouth to argue but he seemed to like the term god of their dreams because he didn’t say another word on the matter. Figures.

“Where’s Bertholdt?” Sasha asked, peering out into the room.

“Here, sorry,” he panted jogging over to take his seat at the table. “I didn’t think she was gonna let go. Ever.”

Must be oh so difficult for you. Jean rolled his eyes. Why did those two end up with all the women and all he got were bruises? Granted, it hadn’t been all that bad; Sasha was funny and entertaining at least. Jean was still holding out that Eren would take his eyes off Mikasa for two seconds so he could ask her for…a dance…Where the hell were they anyway?

“Hey, where’re Eren and Mikasa?” There was no one left on the dance floor, and all the other tables seemed full, just the two empty seats at their table.

“Huh,” Connie said. “I dunno, haven’t seen them since they were dancing.”

Jean tried to stand up in his seat to get a better look of the room, but Levi’s hand came clamping down on his shoulder pushing him back down into his chair.

With a grunt, Jean turned to Armin. “You always know where they are. When was the last time you saw them?”

Armin got that look on his face, one Jean had seen a few times before.Armin had that grin on his face, those knowing eyes. “Jean, I don’t think you should ask questions that you don’t want the answers to.”

Sasha clasped her hand over her mouth nearby, while someone, Jean wasn’t quite sure, tried to stifle a laugh.

“Don’t be shitty with me. I want the answer. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

Armin shrugged, that grin still on his lips. “Last time I saw them, they were by the front doors. Eren seemed to be enjoying Mikasa’s dress, since most of it was hiked up in his hands as he pulled her through the doors.”

The table erupted in mock gasps and laughter.

“Shut up, you shit heads,” Levi called over from his spot nearby.

“Aren’t you gonna go after them or something!” Jean gestured to the doors but Levi’s expression didn’t change.

“Fuck no. I’m too busy to go deal with some horny brats. They can find their way back.” He had his hand on Hanji’s back as he led her over to their own table with Erwin.

Jean’s head hit his palm that was propped up by his elbow on the table. Well, at least _some people_ were enjoying their damn night; a little bit too much if he had anything to say about it.

“Your face…Jean,” Connie choked with laughter and Jean wished he had something to throw at him.

“Cheer up,” Armin said, slapping a hand on Jean’s shoulder. “Maybe Reiner can share his lady friends with you.”

“I’ll dance with you again,” Sasha offered up as well.

“You can keep the one who keeps dancing with me,” Bertholdt said. “No really. Please.”

Jean snorted; though he wasn’t sure if it was disapproval or laughter.

“The night is still young,” Armin shrugged, though his eyes glanced over to the people bringing out the food to all the tables.

They were right. After all, there was still much more to happen, or go wrong however you wanted to look at it and knowing this group go wrong was more likely. “As long as Jaeger doesn’t come back with some smug ass look on his face so I don’t kick him in the face.”

Armin snorted. “That’s not likely.”

Well, at least the rest of the night would be interesting, Jean couldn’t complain there.


	16. First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> February 4th - First Time
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Chapter 50. No, I am still not over this chapter.   
> Words: 1480  
> Rating: T+ (Really strong language)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to do chapter 50 (the latter half of it at least) from Eren's perspective just because of all the things he must have been feeling through it. He changed a lot from this chapter (especially in regards to Mikasa) so I wanted to explore maybe what was going through his head and the first time he really understood Mikasa's feelings and a bit of his own.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. This wasn’t happening. Fuck. Not again. Not again._

Eren could hear his voice echoing distantly in his head, vaguely recognizing those cries as his own. His eyes were locked on the ground, afraid to look up, afraid to see it all over again. His hands grasped onto the ground, trying to hold himself up, trying to hold onto something.

_I let him die. It was my fault. Just like before. Just like always. Nothing I do is right. Shit. It should’ve been me. Every time._

“Eren?”

Her voice cut through his thoughts even though it was a much softer tone than he was used to from her. Eren pushed himself to, his eyes meeting Mikasa’s. She was close to him. Her face looked soft, warm.

_Why, Mikasa? We’re gonna die here. It’s over. I couldn’t do a damn thing. You shouldn’t have come. You don’t deserve to die like that. It’s my fault you’re hurt. Why can’t you see that? Why aren’t you angry?_

She didn’t look that way at all; her eyes were bright as she spoke. He could hear her clearly, even though the chaos around him. The screams. The titans. Tears were in her eyes but not from pain like the ones streaming down his face. No, pain, frustration, fear, that’s not what was on Mikasa’s face.

She was smiling.

Not just a smile. A bright smile; one that lit up her whole face. That beautiful face of hers. The one he would never get sick of seeing no matter how he acted. Oh God, how he acted towards her.

_Why. Why are you looking at me like that? I’ve caused you so much misery and pain. Why are you even thanking me?_

He was staring at her as he felt her body move closer to him. There were words in his head but ones he couldn’t get into his mouth. Her own words were hitting his ears, but what…?

_For God’s sake what are you talking about, Mikasa? We’ve always been together. Don’t thank me for that. I wouldn’t have it any other way. For your life? Like that was ever an option. And, Jesus Christ, for that damn…scarf._

Eren felt like he got hit by the hand of a titan. Is that…is that why she kept that thing? Not to remind her of some ridiculous debt she thought she owed him but because what it meant to her. What…what he meant to her. His eyes stared at her as her face inched closer to him, her breath mingling with his and that smile still on her face. She was happy; happy to be here with him at the end of it all.

No. He was not letting it end here; not when there was so much life for them left, so much life together. The ground was shaking. That bastard titan was getting closer, coming for them now.

Eren pushed himself away from here and up onto his feet. His hands curled into fists as he looked back down to Mikasa’s surprised face.

“It’s just a scarf,” he said, his feet firm on the ground. “I’ll wrap it around you as much as I need to.” If that’s what gave her strength, that scarf, him being with her, than that’s what he’d always give to her. Mikasa was a strong person, the strongest that he knew, but what he never knewn, never even contemplated was she wasn’t strong for him, she was strong because of him. All he wanted was to be with her, from the moment he met her, to have that girl who always amazed him by his side, and he wanted her to feel the same, not because of some debt but because she wanted to be with him too. For the first time, Eren saw her. That’s exactly what she wanted and that’s all he had ever wanted.

Eren looked up to the titan looming over him. That fucking bastard. “From now on, we’ll keep on being together.”

_You got my mom and you got Uncle Hannes but if you think you’re touching a hair on her head, you have another fucking thing coming._

With a yell, Eren threw his weight into a punch. A punch the titan stopped easily with its hand.

_No. No. No._

Anger, frustration, desperation, and more love than Eren knew he had in him flooded every limb of his body.

_You will not touch her._

His voice didn’t even sound like his; his body was acting on its own as he threw himself again. There was a weight in his body, in his arms while he moved. One that didn’t drag him down, but sent him forward.

_Not this time._

Eren felt the weight leave his body as he tossed his punch, his voice shouting into the field, but this time he made no contact with the titan; the titan that barreled in from behind him did though. He didn’t bother to second guess it. He turned to Mikasa who was staring at him with wide eyes.

“C’mon. We need to get out of here. Now.” Eren’s body was pulsing with adrenaline, his heart pounding in his ears. He kneeled down in front of Mikasa, his back to her, while his hands gestured for her to get on. Her arms were around his neck in a moment. He stood up, taking her with him, and helped her get her hurt legs on his waist where he held them steady against him. She held onto him tightly as he started to walk. Despite the situation they were still in, Eren couldn’t help but breathe a small breath of relief. He had her in his arms; she was going to be safe. He’d make sure of it.

He paused for just a moment to look over at where they had been just seconds ago. He heard Mikasa’s question to him, but he couldn’t have given her a firm answer even if he wanted to, but they were sitting targets here. They had to find the others.

He moved away as fast as he could from the titan who was now attacking the other. Eren quickly glanced around as he walked. Titans were all around them but he could see the green cloaks of his comrades off in the distance. There was their chance. He turned to run as fast as he could without hurting Mikasa, but one titan stood between them.

That bastard traitor.

Eren felt a jolt of anger rush through his body. No. He was so close to getting Mikasa out of this hell alive, and no one was going to get in the way of that.

“Don’t come over here,” Eren yelled, his eyes narrowing. “I’ll kill you all!” Which of course wasn’t going to stop that shithead, but the pulse that went through Eren’s body seemed to as titans swarmed over Reiner, cutting off Eren’s view of him. He had no fucking idea what was going on and it didn’t matter. He turned away to try and get to the small band of survivors. Mikasa’s sharp breath was on his neck, causing chills to go down his spine. She was okay. She was alive.

“Eren! Mikasa!” Armin’s voice called out from somewhere n the crowd. It was breaking and terrified but alive. He was already on his horse with Jean slumped over his back when Eren found him. “Here, get on. We have to get out of here.” Armin held onto the reigns of another horse, holding it steady for Eren.

He leaned his head back to Mikasa. “Can you unhitch your gear and I’ll help you up.”

Mikasa nodded as he felt her hands fumble by his lower back until a weight fell, the noise of the metal hitting the ground barely making a sound in all the commotion. “O-okay.”

Eren, as quickly but still as gently as he could, pulled Mikasa from his back and to his arms. Her legs went first onto the saddle while Eren supported and pushed her up the rest of the way.

“Hurry up!” a voice shouted as the remaining few started to ride away.

Eren placed his foot in the stirrup and careful not to kick Mikasa, pushed himself up into the saddle in front of her before Armin passed him the reigns. Eren felt Mikasa’s arms wrap tightly around his waist, her cheek pressed up against his back. The horse took off with Armin riding next to them.

No ground shaking. No screaming. No pursuit.

Armin was trying to tell him something but Eren could barely hear him. He could only hear Mikasa’s choked sobs, her tears making his shirt stick to his back. He didn’t even know when tears started dripping down his own face.

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Mikasa. I’m sorry it took me so long._


	17. Abs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Februrary 5th - Abs
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: A sequel to Bad Touch. Takes place a few days after, in chapter 53.  
> Rating: T (For sexual situations and a little bit of language)  
> Words: 3078

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna make this a lot more graphic, but it just didn't fit so it is what it is. Anon asked for a smutty sequel to Bad Touch so here it is! It’s still smutty don't worry ;D

Mikasa sat herself down in one of the chairs in the living room, waiting for Levi to come in and announce what was on the schedule for the day. A yawn pulled at her lips, as much as she tried to stifle it. The others were in the room as well; Eren and Armin talking on the couch, Jean leaned up near the window, Connie and Sasha trying not to fall asleep on the floor. It was a pretty usual day; except Mikasa couldn’t keep her eyes open.

Or on Eren.

Every time he looked over at her, or tried to talk to her Mikasa couldn’t even look him in the eyes. She was terrified he’d see the way the heat rushed to her face, the way her mind couldn’t focus on what he was saying, that she could only think about that body that was underneath his shirt; it was humiliating. The dreams she kept having were humiliating. He was always hovering over her, his lips on her neck, his hips pressed into hers, his bare chest against her skin. The way he felt under her touch…

“Alright, shit heads, time for your chores.”

Mikasa nearly jumped out of her seat when Levi came in the room, leaving her much like waking up from her dreams did: embarrassed and frustrated.

Levi eyed her, but didn’t say anything. “Connie and Jean, in the kitchen. I want it cleaned, the dishes done, and the food ready for all day. Go. Sasha and Historia, you get to clean the upstairs rooms. I want them spotless. Don’t look at me like that. Armin you’ll be helping Hanji today with whatever weird ass things she wants to do.”

Mikasa saw Armin give them a pleading look but she knew he wasn’t that upset. It was like a battle of the brains whenever he went to help her. Connie and Jean already sulked off to the kitchen and Sasha had dragged her feet up the stairs with Historia close behind. That left…Eren looking over at her.

Please let him split us up. Just for today.

“You two, out back. You’re training together today.”

Mikasa’s heart sunk as she looked over at Levi. He fucking did that on purpose; he was a little more than present during her…bout of weakness the other day and this was payback, she knew it.

“Both of you shits stop looking at me like that. Jaeger, you need to get back working after your few days out of it. Now go.”

She pushed herself up to her feet, not bothering to see if Eren was following her out the back door, though the heavy footsteps signaled he was. Just great. Any other day she would have loved to train with Eren, to help her the best way she knew how but now all she could think of the fact she would have to work hand to hand combat with him where she would have to touch him, everywhere, and have his body close to hers, brushing against hers, probably land on top of hers at some point and…

“Been a long time since we did this, huh.” Eren’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, but it didn’t stop her face from flushing, especially at the thought of him knowing what she was thinking about. Jesus Christ, Mikasa, that’s your best friend.

“Yeah,” she said, finally turning to face him. The sun was beating down already, making her feel over dressed in her uniform pants, scarf and shirt. They stood a little bit apart on the grass, their safe house a bit in the distance now.

“Ready?” Eren raised his fists with a small smile.

No, she really wasn’t. Her mind was still stuck on the opposite of fighting him, her body still reeling from where her mind kept taking her.

“Yes,” she answered instead, her own fists up in front of her. Eren came at her without a second word. They had trained together long before they joined the military practicing to get in, so fighting with him was second nature; except when chills went down her spine just because his hand brushed past her stomach or the heat rushing to her stomach because of his warm breath on her neck as he tried to get the upper hand on her. Her mind drifted for one second and she missed her mark on him; she was on her back with him holding her down within a moment.

“Wow, Mikasa.” He grinned, his face lingering above hers. “Feeling off today?”

“Shut up,” she muttered using all her willpower to push him off. She jumped back up to her feet and went after him without even a breath. Her hands met his blocks as she tried different moves to get around him. He had gotten much better since the last time they had fought, a lot better she’d admit. Still she wasn’t losing to him again; even if she did want to see that smile on his face again, feel his face so close to hers, his warm breath.

Mikasa felt her legs get kicked out from under her before her back hit the hard grassy ground. She looked up to see Eren leaning over her.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Cause I’ve never been able to knock you down let alone twice in a row.”

“I’m fine, Eren,” she said, her teeth clenched together as she ignored his hand and pushed herself up.

Eren eyed her but he didn’t say anything else; he turned away taking a few steps away from her. He pulled off his shirt over his head and tossed it to the ground.

Really. _Really._

As if she was having a hard enough time focusing now he had to take off his shirt too. Eren didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with this as he lifted his fists up to face her again. Mikasa steeled herself as he came after her, blocking all his moves, trying desperately to not watch the muscles in his chest and in his arms flex as he tried to land his hits on her.

She managed to get a good hit on him, knocked his balance off. One more well timed hit and it was Eren’s turn to have his back on the ground. She barely had time to celebrate her victory though; Eren’s hand was wrapped around her wrist, tugging her right down with him. His body cushioned her fall as her hands pressed up against him to sit up.

“Really? You couldn’t play fair for once?” Mikasa looked down at him, his chest shaking with laughter.

“Not a chance.” He was smiling as he looked at her, much brighter than normal. She felt her lips pulling into a smile. She was so mesmerized by Eren’s unusually warm expression that it took her a moment to realize her hands were still on his bare chest, her legs on either side of his hips. She could feel his body radiating underneath her, only making heat flush her own body.

Mikasa pushed herself up from him and turned to walk away, before he could see the way she knew her cheeks had turned red. She didn’t look back to watch him get up, just fiddled with the buttons on her shirt before shrugging it off, leaving her in her training bra and she fully intended on blaming her blush on the hot summer day. She chucked her top away like Eren had before turning to face him.

He was back on his feet but his brow was furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“What?” Mikasa eyed him, though she knew Eren saw right through her. “Nothing.”

“No, I know you. Something’s wrong.”

Mikasa didn’t say anything; she just took her fighting stance once more. If Eren thought she was gonna tell him she was too distracted by admiring his body he had another thing coming.

He sighed but moved forward to come at her. Mikasa quickly regretted taking off her shirt. Not only could her hands feel his bare skin as she tried to take him down but she could feel his hands on her skin, his skin brushing by her own. Goosebumps followed his touch, chills rolled down her spine. Mikasa tried to keep her head clear, tried to focus. One hit to the stomach, her hand lingered longer that it should have. Her eyes flickered up to his. Big mistake.

Mikasa felt the ground underneath her once more. With a groan she tried to sit up but Eren was hovering over her, his legs on either side of hers. His breath was warm on her face, causing her own breath to hitch in her throat, making Mikasa grasp for rational thoughts.

He arched an eyebrow at her. “Now I know something is wrong. That or you’re letting me win, which I wouldn’t put past you.” His hands were on the ground completely boxing her in. All she really wanted to do was to wrap her arms around his neck and pull his body down with hers, to feel his skin against hers, his hands on her, her lips on his.

“Yeah,” she grunted. “You caught me. Get mad at me and I’ll leave.” She managed to push her way up to her feet, not looking back at Eren as she started to walk back to the cabin. She’d deal with Levi yelling at her for abandoning her job for the day.

“I don’t think so.” Eren’s hand was grasping onto her arm before she could take another step.

“Eren,” she said, her eyes still on the cabin. “Let go of me.”

“No,” Eren said so firmly that it even surprised her. Mikasa looked over to see his eyes on her, his face unwavering. “I’m not doing this. I’m not playing this game with you again, Mikasa. Don’t look at me like that, you know exactly what I mean. When neither of us says what’s on our mind, only making the other misunderstand and hurt, which in turn hurts you, or me. So no. I’m not doing that shit again.”

He was right of course. They always did that to each other for as long as she could remember. She hated it all, but never did anything to change it. She was too afraid of what he would think if she did ever say what was on her mind when it came to him; how much she adored him every day of her life.

“C’mon, Mikasa.” His tone was softer, his eyes gentler as his grip loosened on her. “After all the shit we’ve been through together, you can tell me anything.”

Anything. Yeah, she wasn’t sure he wanted to hear this “anything”, but Mikasa also had a feeling they’d be here all day if Eren didn’t get his way. She felt her blood pounding in her ears as she turned to face him. He let go of her, seemingly satisfied she wasn’t about to bolt; though the way her heart was beating she wasn’t even sure if she wasn’t going to.

Mikasa could barely meet his eyes as she took a step forward towards him. Heat rose up to her cheeks probably turning her whole face red. “I just…” What was she supposed to say? This was humiliating but Eren wasn’t moving, he still stood firm in front of her. “I…”

For God’s sake.

Clearly words weren’t doing her any favors today. So she knew there was only one other way to tell Eren just how she had been feeling, though it was more mortifying than words would ever be. She reached both her hands up and gently laid them against his stomach, she could feel him tense up, not expecting that of all things. She hands carefully moved up against his chest, feeling the bumps and dips of his skin, the hard muscle underneath. Her eyes watched her hands as the moved gently across them, heat filling the pit of her stomach.

Mortifying but so worth it.

“Mikasa?” Eren’s words snapped her eyes up to his face. He didn’t look angry, more like a little confused.

“When we were training the other day,” Mikasa breathed, her voice low. “When did you get these?” He hands ran down his chest to his abs, her fingers trailing along him far longer than she needed to for her point.

Eren didn’t say anything, but she could feel his chest shaking, she glanced up at him to see him biting back a laugh.

Her horrified embarrassment quickly turned to angry embarrassment. Did he even understand how hard it was to tell him that? To openly show such affection for him? No, everything aside from killing titans wasn’t serious to Eren Jaeger; this had been a mistake. She ripped her hands off of him with every intent to just leave and to not look him in the eyes for the next week.

She didn’t get very far.

Eren’s warm hands were on her back, pulling her towards him so her own hands hit his chest once more. “Is that what’s been wrong? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

Mikasa glanced up at him; he wasn’t laughing anymore, but a smile was still tugging at his lips. “Possibly,” was the only answer she could come up with before heat flushed her face one more, this time not from touching him but the way his hands against her skin made chills go down her spine.

He didn’t say anything for a second, but Mikasa felt his head tilt down to hers, his breath on her ear.  “If I avoided you every time I wanted to touch you, we would’ve never see each other.” His hands moved to her sides, goose bumps rising on her skin.  

She felt her eyes widening at his words.

“Don’t look so surprised,” his voice was low, causing her eyes to flicker up to his. His cheeks were tinted red but his hands only held her tighter. “It’s not like you haven’t been beautiful since the day I met you.”

Mikasa wasn’t sure if it was her or him, but all she knew in a matter of seconds his warms lips were moving against hers. They should probably talk about this; about what had been said, about what it meant, but Mikasa could only run her hands up Eren’s chest till they were wrapped tightly around his neck. He pushed her body into him, the bare skin of her stomach rubbing up against his and causing Mikasa to gasp sharply against his lips.

She pressed herself against him as her hands moved to the back of his head, holding his face to hers and tangling in his hair. Heat pooled in the pit of her stomach at his touch at the way one hand held her firmly to him but the other trailed across her own stomach, much like she had done with him.

This was insane. Anyone from the cabin could see them. Levi could probably see them but Mikasa was finding it hard to care, not when Eren’s teeth bit lightly on her bottom lip, not when he moved to deepen their kiss. His hands moved to her back again but they didn’t stay there for long. He slowly moved his fingers downward till both hands grabbed onto her ass. Mikasa couldn’t have held in her small moan if she wanted to. Her hands moved back down to Eren’s neck, where she held onto him tightly, jumping up into the already firm hold he had on her. She wrapped her legs around his waist causing a low noise come from Eren’s throat. Still holding her close, he rolled his hips into hers.

Mikasa broke away from his lips with a gasp. Her forehead fell against his as her hands reached up to his face. Those deep blue eyes she knew so well flickering up to hers. She didn’t the words. She didn’t need to tell him how she felt and she didn’t need to hear it from him. After all they had been through, she could tell by a look and she knew he felt the same.

Mikasa pressed her lips back down to his, her hands still holding his face. Eren’s hands trailed back up to her back, his hands resting on her bare skin as he held her tightly to him. She felt her body gently rocking against him as he started to walk across the field, his lips never leaving hers. It was all happening fast, but when Mikasa felt her back pressed up against what she assumed was the side of the shed, nothing felt more natural.

His lips broke from hers but only to trail across his face, one hand moving from her thigh to her neck, undoing the scarf around her before he moved his lips down to sensitive skin the scarf normally hid. Mikasa’s head hit the back of the shed as her body rolled into his, wanting to feel him against her. She felt his groan against her skin as his hips grinded into hers, pushing her harder in the wall and having her feel his arousal against her core.

“Eren…” she gasped, her back arching into him, toes curling inside her boots. Her mind was hazy, her body flooded with heat and love and desire. His hands gripped onto her thighs, his whole weight leaning on her as she squirmed underneath him, loving the feeling of his skin on hers.

They were supposed to be training. What if…

Mikasa’s hands ran through Eren’s hair, moving down to his back.

What if someone came looking for them?

He bit carefully at her skin causing her fingers to dig into him.

What if Levi…?

“Eren...?” she said again, this time trying to get his attention.

He hummed a response against her, but didn’t look up.

“What if someone sees?”

That seemed to get his attention. He looked up to her, but didn’t release his hold on her. “So? Let them. I don’t particularly care what they think.”

“What if its Levi?”

He paused for a moment, but a grin crossed his face. “Then it will be worth whatever punishment he gives.” His lips pressed against hers once more, and Mikasa could only melt under his touch. He was right; she’d clean the house on her hands and knees for this, for him.

It was completely worth it to touch that body of his.


	18. Genderbend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> February 6th - Genderbend
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: AU with switched genders, takes place during their initial training.  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 1538

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea what to do for this but I've never done a genderbend and welcomed the challenge and it was a challenge. I tried to keep their original personalities mixing with how I'd feel their different genders would affect them. I don't know how well of a job I did, but I hope it brings some laughter at least!

 “Okay, it’s all clear. Get in here.”

Eren didn’t sound too happy as she grabbed onto Mikasa’s arm, dragging him into the empty medical room. She quickly shut the door behind them, before turning her eyes on him. They were narrowed, her eyebrows arched with annoyance. Mikasa didn’t think he quite deserved the anger he was receiving from her, but it was Eren, when did he expect any less?

“Sit down on the table,” she commanded before going to look for something in the small room. It was the one used for treating small wounds and sickness, or to keep someone until they could be transferred to the medical bay and wasn’t a place they were supposed to be unattended, but that hadn’t ever stopped Eren before. Mikasa hoisted himself up onto the table, feeling some blood trickle down the side of his face. He wasn’t even really hurt but getting Eren out of her mindset? It was easier to kill ten titans in a row.

He watched Eren grab a rag and run some water over it before she faced him again.

“Do you always have to pick fights?” she sighed as she reached the towel up to his face. Eren pressed the wet end against the cuts Mikasa knew he had; the stinging sensation made him cringe told him that as well.

“I don’t pick them,” Mikasa shrugged. He inhaled sharply when Eren pressed the rag far harder into his cuts than she needed to.

“Then tell me how do I always find you cut up and bruised before the day is over? We’ve so much training I don’t even know how you find time to fight with other people. “

Eren’s fingers brushed over his cheek as she moved the rag to clean up another wound. Mikasa would have liked to pull his scarf over his mouth and shrug like he normally did but it was hard to breath with Eren so close to him let alone think so he said nothing instead.

Her blue eyes, the ones Mikasa lived for, flickered over to his; apparently she wasn’t having his silence today. “Well?” She was still cleaning one of his cuts, getting off the dried blood and dirt that had got in there, focused on what she was doing.

It wasn’t like Mikasa wanted to pick fights but the things those guys would say about Eren, about what they’d do to her. Mikasa couldn’t stand the way they looked at her, knowing they didn’t take her seriously; they only wanted to stare at her chest, her body. Eren deserved far better than that. He tried to leave out of his head how jealous it made him; the thought of her with any of those idiots but he knew it was hard to ignore his feelings, he learned that a long time ago.

Eren tossed the bloody rag off to the side and went to go look for something else.

“You’re mad,” Mikasa stated, noticing how Eren had crossed her arms as she looked through cabinets.

“Of course, I’m mad, you idiot. You think I like seeing you like this? I don’t like seeing you get hurt.” She paused for a moment glancing over her shoulder at him. “Granted, you do always come out looking better than the other side.”

Mikasa could see Eren trying to hold her smile back.

“I suppose that doesn’t surprise me though.” She reached up and pulled out a roll of wrapped up bandages. “You’ve always been the strongest of us three.”

He watched her walk back over to him. He had gotten used to her in the uniform, not that Eren didn’t always wear pants even when they were kids. She was never really as girly as the other girls around them; she still kept her hair longer through, pulled up halfway to keep strands out of her face. She seemed a little bit softer now, less angry at him.

“Only when you needed me,” he said, his eyes meeting hers once more. He saw her pause for a moment, just a moment where her eyes lingered on his before that usual snarl crossed her face.

“Oh please,” Eren scoffed. “I could’ve handled anything we got into.”

“Who was it again that I was always getting out of trouble? Oh yeah, you and Armin.”

Eren started to wrap the bandages around Mikasa’s head, with way too much pressure.

“Ow, Okay, Eren,” Mikasa reached up and tried to loosen her grip on his head. His hand grabbed a hold of her’s, and pulled it down.  She had small hands, much smaller than his, but just as calloused and just as strong. Eren’s gaze was down at their hands as Mikasa glanced up to her. No one seemed to think she had anything worthwhile about her, any talents, any strength to bring but they were wrong.

Her eyes met his before she pulled her hand away and went back up to wrapping the roll around his head. “It’s not like I like seeing you get hurt,” she mumbled again as she pushed herself between his legs to get a better grip on his head. Mikasa felt his break hitch in his throat at her close presence, her arms repetitively moving around his head. She tucked off the end, satisfied it would stay when she looked back to Mikasa. She didn’t move away she just crossed her arms and gave him that look of hers.

“And I know why you do it. Don’t think I don’t know you.” She reached a hand out to poke him in the chest. “I don’t always need your protection, Mikasa. I can take care of myself.” Her hand lingered on him, her eyes locked with his.

“I know you can,” Mikasa said, his hands pressed against the table underneath him. He was afraid he’d reach out and touch her if he didn’t hold onto something.

“Then why do you keep getting into these ridiculous fights? You don’t have to fight for me and you know it because I’ve told you countless times.” Her eyes were narrowed at him.

Mikasa reached up and took her hand that was still jabbing him in the chest. “You don’t like to see me hurt? I don’t like to see you hurt either, you know. “

Her eyes flickered down to his hand that was still lightly holding hers. “I know,” she mumbled. “That doesn’t mean I can’t fight for myself.”

“But that doesn’t mean you have to.” He was still watching her, and he could see the way her cheeks tinted red ever so slightly. It wasn’t often he saw Eren like this; he was used to loud, brash, fighting Eren like most were. Mikasa was pretty sure only him and Armin ever really saw that other side of her.

“Well stop getting hurt for me, dumbass.”

Mikasa knew this conversation was going to go nowhere. Eren was about as stubborn as they come. “Okay.”

“You better promise.”

Mikasa stood up, his body brushing against hers as he did. There were about eye level, and he could feel her breath on lips, her body heat radiating against him. “No.”

“Mikasa!”

Eren had clearly forgotten he could be just as stubborn. She looked like she was about to yell at him some more but footsteps triggered both their attentions. Needless to say, getting caught in the medical room unsupervised meant some heavy punishment and ones Mikasa didn’t exactly want to put himself or Eren through.

“Shit,” Eren grunted.

Mikasa held his arms out to her. “Act like you’re passed out, c’mon.”

“Why the hell do I have to act like I’m passed out? You’re the one with the bandages on your head!”

“Will you listen to me for once?”

Eren shot him a look but didn’t object. Mikasa leaned forward to grab Eren by the waist while his other arm slipped under her legs. He pulled her up into his arms and didn’t miss the small gasp from Eren’s mouth. He looked over to see Eren staring at him, one arm around his neck the other on his chest.

Mikasa could feel heat rising to his cheeks, her face inches from his, but the footsteps were getting closer by the second. “You don’t look very unconscious.”

Eren didn’t say anything. She just closed her eyes and rolled her head against his shoulder, dropping all her body weight into his arms. It wasn’t the first time he had carried her, and chances are it wouldn’t be the last but it was the first time she didn’t object and for a moment; it was nice. Her hair brushed up against his face, her steady breathing against his chest.

The door opened revealing a surprised medical worker standing in the doorway.

“Please help, she just passed out in the hallway and I didn’t know what to do.”

Mikasa could hear Eren snort against his shirt causing him to give her a sharp pinch on her legs. Eren didn’t take too kindly to that, slapping him right in the chest.

Well, it _had_ been nice at least. The look on the medical officer’s face didn’t seem like they’d be getting out of this one too easily. 


	19. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> February 7th - Warmth
> 
> Paring: Eren/Mikasa, Shingeki no Kyojin  
> Setting: The final stand kinda thing.  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 2228

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't what I was originally going to write but I wrote this anyway lol I had it in my head so I figured I could make it work. This is really fluffy okay. I mean really fluffy. Shh shh. Let me pretend this is how its all going to end okay.

“Eren, wait!”

He stopped in his tracks at the voice. God, Mikasa, don’t make this harder than it has to be. Eren turned around to see her walking towards him. He saw Armin hesitating as well, not wanting to leave Mikasa behind when she was on his team for the attack plan. 

“Make it quick, Jaeger.” Levi was already out the door before Eren could answer him. Out the door to the biggest challenge they had faced, one that could end the titans, or end them.

“What is it, Mikasa, we’re gonna be late.” He didn’t mean to come off harsh with her; he was just afraid of looking down at that face and it potentially being the last time he saw it. He didn’t think he could bear it. Still, he felt her eyes on his face, his own flickering down to her. Big mistake. Her face looked normal, steeled and ready for the fight, but her eyes, they were wide and glossy. He knew she must be having similar fears, weren’t they all?

“I...” Her hands were fiddling with her scarf, her eyes never leaving his.

“Yes?”

“I just…” she bit her lip, clearly unsure of whatever she was trying to say.

Eren was gonna prompt her again, afraid Levi would come back and yell and that’s not how Eren wanted to spend his last few moments with her, but he didn’t need to. Her hands reached up to her neck, pulling off that scarf Eren barely remembered seeing her without. She carefully reached up and draped it around his neck, taking her hands and wrapping it around him. It was still warm from her body, and it smelt just like she did. A sense of ease washed over Eren just at the simple comfort of having her so close to him.

“Just promise me you’ll come back, and.” She pulled lightly on the ends of her scarf, tightening it for him. “That we can go home after this.”

Eren hesitated for a moment. What if he couldn’t keep the promise? God, of course he wanted to, but what if he couldn’t? He reached up to brush a few hairs from her face, his fingers grazing across her cheek. “I promise.”

“I’m sorry, Mikasa, we have to go.” Armin’s voice was warm, understanding. He held his arm out for her as Mikasa walked away from Eren, not looking back. Armin gave him a sympathetic smile and a nod before turning to follow the rest of the soldiers. Eren knew Armin would look after her; she’d be okay. He couldn’t afford to think any other way.

He turned and went through the door leading away from everyone else. Levi was leaning up against a nearby wall, clearly waiting for him. He eyed Mikasa’s scarf on Eren before starting to walk. “You better damn well keep any promises you made her, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.” Eren pulled her scarf up over his mouth, like he had seen her do countless times. No wonder, it did bring a sense of comfort no one else could’ve given him.

* * *

 

It was the constant rubbing of Mikasa’s scarf against his face, the memory of her face that woke him up. Everything was unbelievably hot. Eren could feel himself gasping for air, only getting stale hot steam in his lungs. His skin felt like it was on fire, making him squirm, trying to get away from the substances that were coving his body; his hands scraped at his skin, trying to get out. With a loud cry he managed to pry his eyes open to see the ever familiar body of the dissolving titan over his body. Steam filled his vision, stinging his eyes. He tried to pull his body out but the tendons from his titan form were still holding him in, burning him.

“H-” he tried to call out but his throat was dry, no words would come out. He tried to keep pulling his legs out of the body, out before they burned him whole. There were no sounds around him, just the sizzling of the corpse over him. No shouts from his comrades, no pounding feet to come help him, not even Mikasa’s voice coming to save him like she always did. There was no one…no one?

Eren stopped moving for a second. No, not even the shaking ground of the titans he was fighting. No screaming, no hideous noises.

Had they done it?

Eren struggled, and fought, and pulled hard enough that he thought his legs were gonna come off but his hands hit the grassy field as he heaved himself out of the titan’s body. The sun was so bright he couldn’t even see for a moment; he shielded his eyes and tried to stand up on his wavering legs.  The field around him was filled with steam, bodies of titans dissolving all around him.

Was that him? Had he killed all these things? Eren tried to think back about what he was doing before he woke up trying to get out. He placed a hand against his head; bits of memory came back to him with a sharp pain to his head. He was fighting with his gear and the others. He was trying to see Mikasa and Armin before he shifted, wanting to make sure they were still alive but in the midst of titans and soldiers it was hard to pick them out. There was no time though; he shifted to fight off a hoard, to fight off the leader.

His head snapped up. No other titans were around, well, no other alive ones that was. There were no signs of more coming to attack him, no signs of them anywhere nearby.

Had they really done it?

Eren frantically looked around. Someone who was on the ground fighting had to know what was going on. Armin would know, Mikasa too, and Levi most certainly would. He spun around in his spot trying to catch a glimpse of a green cloak, of a brown jacket, to hear the 3D gear, but nothing. He couldn’t see anyone and he couldn’t hear anything.

“Hey!” Eren tried calling out, his voice still hoarse. “Is anyone…” his voice trailed off as he took a closer look at the field he was standing in. There were some people there, laid out on the ground after giving a sacrifice to try and save this world. He almost didn’t even want to look too closely in case there was a face there he never wanted to see lifeless. 

Is that were everyone was…did he manage to help them, only to lose everyone?

Eren shook his head, almost as if to convince himself that wasn’t true, but this was all they had; this was their shot to end it. Everyone had gone in knowing they could all be killed and what if they had? It wouldn’t be unreasonable, not with the amount of titans they were fighting but…Eren was supposed to protect them too. What if they were gone?

He sank to his knees on the cold ground. The steam was almost gone in front of him, leaving him without the burning sensation of being alive. Even the worn out scarf still around his neck couldn’t help. What good was winning this war if he had no one there to live for anymore? What good was a new life without the people he started this fight for to have a new life with? What good was he?

“Eren!”

The voice was like out of a dream; it was far away but still sounded so close. He glanced around the field. No one.

“Eren! Are you there! Please!”

Her voice was desperate, pleading, broken. Eren stood up. No he was certain he wasn’t imagining it, imagining her; he’d never imagine her so sad. He spun around in his spot, trying to find the source of the voice.

“Er-en!” her voice broke that time, in a half cry.

There she was. Standing on a hill off in the distance but it was her, he’d know her anywhere.

“Mikasa!” He waved his arms to get her attention and it seemed to work; she stopped still in her tracks. She started to walk towards him, slowly at first, but it only took a moment for her to break out into a run across the field. She was limping slightly, something happened to her, but not enough to stop her. Eren tried to stagger towards her despite the way his legs were still burning. She was alive.

She was close now, he could see her face, a mix of fear and relief in her eyes. Eren steadied himself and opened his arms to her. In a matter of seconds Mikasa was in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist as she held onto him, her head falling onto his shoulder. Eren just held her back, slightly amazed she didn’t knock him over. He heard her choked cries in his ear.

Eren rolled his head against hers, burring his face in her hair as he sunk to his knees, taking her with him. “I thought you were dead. I thought I lost you.”

“We couldn’t find you anywhere.” She looked up at him, her legs falling on either side of his as she placed her forehead against him. Tears fell onto her cheeks, but she was smiling.

“Hey,” Eren bumped his head against hers. “I promised didn’t I?”

With a choked laugh, Mikasa let her head fall back against his shoulder, her arms still tight around his neck. She had lost her cloak and her uniform jacket along the way, her white shirt torn and her gear gone but she looked okay. Aside from the way her leg was wrapped up, she didn’t look too hurt. He held onto her, one hand on her back and the other oh her head, keeping her close.

“Mikasa?” Eren hesitated for a moment, but he had to know. “Is it over?”

She raised her head again to meet his eyes. “Yes,” she nodded. “As far as we can tell. They’re doing more recon of the area, trying to see if any more hoards are hiding but I didn’t stick around to hear the results.”

Eren felt like he should be happy, thrilled, ecstatic but a knot was still in the pit of his stomach and he knew why. He barely had the will to ask, afraid of the answer. “Armin?”

Mikasa didn’t say anything, her face still warm and bright.

“Please tell me he-”

A warm hand on his shoulder told Eren all he needed to know. “Is right behind you?”

Eren turned his head to see Armin, a little worse for wear but still standing with all his body parts. His head was bandaged up, his arm in a makeshift sling, but he was okay too. His family was okay. Eren felt like the weight of the world was off his shoulder. They were free, and they were still together.

“Hey, buddy,” Eren grinned up at him. “You look good.”

“So do you. Glad you aren’t fused into the body of a titan,” Armin chuckled, kicking Eren in the back lightly.

“Yeah? So am I.” He glanced back over to Mikasa, still in his arms. “That’s thanks to her though.” He brought up one end of the scarf he was still wearing. “I can see why you always wear it. It brings some good luck every now and then. And,” he dropped the end, his eyes meeting hers. No matter how brief the moments were, he couldn’t forget how he felt thinking she was gone; that was never going to happen again. “It always brings you back to me,” he mumbled slightly. He heard Mikasa’s breath hitch in her throat, his eyes linger on hers.

“Okay, you shit heads. I’ve had enough of your sentimental reunion.”

Well, at least he knew Levi was still alive and kicking. 

“I’m glad you’re not dead, Jaeger, but this place reeks. Let’s go.”

Armin held out a hand for Mikasa to help her up while Eren pushed himself off the ground. It was surreal to look around the field and know no titans were coming for them; to know how many sacrifices were made for this to happen, too many to count. Armin put his arm around Eren’s shoulders giving him a squeeze as they started to walk away from the field. He leaned slightly against Armin, thankful for his support when his body still felt like he had been run over by a cart. Mikasa was next to Eren, walking alongside him, but something was missing. The fabric against his chin reminded him.

Eren pulled off the scarf while they walked, and draped it over her shoulders, much like she had done to give it to him. He wondered when that scarf became such a symbol to them, but, really it was probably from the very beginning.

Mikasa picked up the ends of the scarf before looking up to him. Eren held out his hand to her, Armin still holding onto him.

“Let’s go home, okay?”

She wrapped the scarf around her and took his hand with a smile; it always looked better on her. Besides, Eren didn’t need the warmth it had brought him. He already had all he needed.

 


	20. Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> February 8th - Heroes
> 
> Pairing: Mikasa/Eren  
> Setting: Post Series; I suppose it could be a sequel to Warmth but it doesn't have to be at all.   
> Words: 2597  
> Rating: T (Little language)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno where this idea came from but I really like the way it turned out. Oh its fluffy alright. I feel like I write them always confessing to each other so this time its a little bit different of a way to go about it, and a cute little way to fit the prompt.
> 
> This one is still one of my favorites I've done. I don't know why but I really like how it came out ^^

Mikasa thought she looked for Eren everywhere in the house but as she stood in the hallway she couldn’t think of another place he would be. The military set up the Scouting Legion close to the capital due to celebrations and political reasons Mikasa assumed. Armin went out with some of the others to look around the place they had never dreamed of seeing before; they invited her of course, but since Eren wasn’t amongst them, she declined the offer with a smile. Levi and Hanji weren’t around either, having more important things to do now, so she knew Eren wasn’t with them either.

She leaned up against the wall. Eren hadn’t been acting himself since they got here. She figured he’d be thrilled the war was over, his goal was final achieved and while they lost comrades and friends, many along the way, both she and Armin survived with him. Not only that, but Eren was one of the sole reasons they won. He should be celebrating, not hiding off on his own.

Mikasa’s head snapped up. Of course; there was one place she hadn’t looked, mainly because Eren never went there alone. No one would think to find him there. She headed down the long hallway to one of the sets of large wooden doors. She had only been in here a few time with Armin and Eren but the scent of old books hit her the moment she opened the door.  She had a feeling Eren wasn’t in one of the many rows of bookshelves reading so she headed through the room until she saw the small area tucked off to the side. There was a fireplace, a few comfy chairs and couches for reading and a window overlooking the city, which is where she found Eren leaning up against, his head on the window pane.

Mikasa felt her breath hitch at the sight of him. Still after all these years, he still had that effect on her. He was older now, his hair a little longer, his face more mature, his body broader, stronger, but he still had those eyes that had made her melt every day since she was nine years old.

He must’ve felt her gaze on him for she found those blue eyes looking right at her. “Hey,” he greeted, his expression a little confused. “What are you doing here? I thought everyone was going out.”

“They did but I wanted to stay here.” Mikasa took a few steps into the room. Eren didn’t stop her, he just watched her, so she figured he wasn’t gonna ask her to leave him alone. She walked over to the window, gazing down into the city before looking back at him.

“What’s wrong, Eren?” she asked in a softer tone.

He only shrugged and looked away from her.

She saw the sadness in his eyes, in his face. It made her stomach drop; all she wanted to do was see that bright smile again, to see his face light up and now, there was an opportunity for that, but he still looked so upset. “You should be out celebrating, not shut up in a room alone,” she tried again, careful not to press too hard; something she had to master over the years.

“I don’t feel too much like celebrating.”

It was Mikasa’s turn to look at him in confusion. “We have so much to celebrate. Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Eren looked out the window. He didn’t seem angry with her just…sad. “What I wanted was for us to live in freedom, to be able to explore to have new lives, which is what we got or rather what we are getting but…” He paused for a moment, his teeth biting down on his lip. “At what cost?”

“All the more reason to celebrate, to honor those who lost their lives in this. Their deaths aren’t in vain.” Mikasa watched Eren carefully. She knew that wasn’t what was bothering him. They had all gone to the memorial service for everyone who had died in the battles, civilians and military alike; they had made their peace and thanked those lives. No, the only thing that could make Eren act like this was himself; he was mad at himself.

He shrugged, looking down at the floor between them. He was making excuses for telling her what was really on his mind. Not that it was uncommon with Eren, but he should know that it wasn’t just Armin who could see through him by now.

“Eren, what’s really bothering you?”

His eyes finally met hers again. He looked defeated, probably knowing she wasn’t gonna leave till he told her what it was. Which was…well, true.

“I don’t wanna go to celebrations, okay? I don’t wanna have parties, and eat and be praised and whatever.” He threw his hands up before letting them fall back to his side.

“But you deserve all that, Eren. You helped save-”

“Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it.”

Mikasa watched him. His face was a lot more serious now, angry even, or maybe just frustrated, she couldn’t exactly tell with Eren all the time.

“I’m not a hero. I don’t wanna be treated like one. Every person who fought for our freedom is a hero. I don’t wanna go to all this shit and be celebrated as the hero and don’t tell me that won’t happen because Levi already told me that’s the way it’s gotta be. The people need someone to hold accountable. Fine. Why not him? Armin? You? Jean? Anyone else. They all did as much as I did.”

“Eren,” Mikasa took a small step towards him. “You single handedly took down a hoard of titans, you took down the leader once he shifted. You’re-”

“No,” Eren spoke so firmly Mikasa almost took a step back from him. “That wasn’t me. That was because I’ve been some fucked up kid who managed to control the monster I could be. It had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with what I was forced to be.”

Mikasa’s eyes didn’t leave his. She couldn’t believe that Eren actually believed that. What had happened to him didn’t define him; he overcame it and controlled it and from that he saved them all. How could he not see that?

“Come sit down with me,” she said, walking over to the nearby couch. “I wanna tell you a story.”

“Mikasa, I don’t want to hear-”

One look from her seemed to shut him up at least. He flopped down on the arm chair with a sigh before looking over to her. She leaned forward, her arms leaning against her thighs. Despite him clearly being distressed, he looked so much healthier, fuller. The stress of war finally off his tired body.

“Once upon a time,” Mikasa started only to get yet another look from her uncooperative listener.

“Really, Mikasa?”

“Why don’t you listen to me instead of interrupting me?” That seemed to shut him up as he leaned his head against the back of the chair.

“Once upon a time, there was a little girl. She lived with her mom and her dad in a little house far off in the woods. She was very happy there. Her parents loved her very much, and really that was all she needed. They didn’t get many visitors, except a nice doctor who used to stop by once a month to make sure everything was okay with the girl.”

Eren’s interest seemed to peak; he must’ve had a feeling where this story was going now.

“She never quite understood why, but he used to talk about his son all the time. He was around the age of the girl, but only had one friend. The doctor said it was because his son didn’t get along with anyone and didn’t care to, but he also had really nice stories to tell her about the boy. How he used to bring home flowers for his mom, and the games he would play outside in the fields instead of doing work, and how his friend told him all about the outside world. The doctor said he might bring his son by sometime to meet the girl and she liked that very much. She wanted to meet the boy with the bright eyes and smile.”

Eren snorted, causing Mikasa to send him a glare.

“She finally did get to meet him and though it was in less than ideal situations, she would always be thankful that it was that one day he came along with the doctor. The little girl thought she was gonna die when she woke up all tied up, her parent’s killers in front of her. She…” Mikasa paused for a second, realizing her eyes dropped to her hands. She looked back up to Eren who was watching her carefully; his face softer than it was before.

Some things never leave you, and she knew Eren shared that as well. She cleared her throat. “She was terrified but this boy came in, and he attacked those men until they stopped moving. She thought he was gonna come after her next but he dropped down next to her and cute her ropes. He told her his name, but she already knew, those blue eyes of his gave him away. The little girl trusted him instantly and for good reasons, because of him she was taught how to fight, and to live. He gave her a simple scarf to keep her warm, and an open hand offering her a home. That boy, he was her hero from that moment on.

“They were inseparable from then on. She always followed him wherever he went just because she liked to be near him. She figured he put up with her, but he didn’t send her away and that was good enough for her; especially when he smiled. She knew she’d follow him anywhere, and when he lost his mom and his home, she knew she’d go even to the depths of hell with him. She never wanted to join the military, but she wanted to be with him, to make sure he was always safe. Not that she didn’t think he couldn’t take care of himself, but because she couldn’t bear to live without him.”

Mikasa paused for a moment. She knew her story would tell him just about everything that she felt about him, but after all these years she figured it was about time. His eyes were still on her, but he stopped interrupting as he waited for her to continue.

“He was getting older too, and more bitter about the world. She tried not to take it hard when he took it out on her; she knew he didn’t mean it. He was just mad and frustrated, that smile she loved so much gone forever it seemed. A few times she tried to get him to leave, to go home with her; some place warm, some place safe where they could have what they once had but he was determined, something she did admire in him; he’d support him, but she wouldn’t lose him. That was until, she did. She had forgotten everything he had told her, everything he lived for and she almost paid the price with her life for it. Even in her darkest moments though, the little boy was always there to give her strength, just like he always had.

“She didn’t think she cried as hard she did when she saw his body emerge from the fallen titan. She held him close and listened to his heartbeat; he was still with her. She knew people would think he was a monster now that he was one of the things that ruined their world but it was the farthest thing from the truth. He was still her hero, just like he always was and always would be and she would never be able to deny how much she was in love with him after that moment. She just knew one day everyone would see what she saw in him.”

Mikasa looked up at Eren, a small smile pulling at her lips. “And they have.”

Eren just watched her, still not saying a word. She was afraid for a moment that she had said too much, but even so, she wanted to tell him that he meant the world to her, he always had.

“You know.” Eren leaned forward slightly in his chair. “I think I remember a similar story, but about the boy. “ His eyes watching her. “How he hadn’t even wanted to go see the little girl but his father made him and how when he knew that she was in danger, nothing else mattered. He never understood why he went after her, risking his life for someone he didn’t even know, but he knew he had to do it. He knew she was someone who would be important to him, and he was right.”

She listened but it was strange; she had known Eren for so long but he had never told her anything about how he felt that night, and why he did it. It just always was he did what he did.

“He did treasure her; comforted her when she was sad, shared his dreams with her, shared his life with her, well as much as a nine year old could. She was always there for him, and on the day he had to watch his own mom die, just like he was for her. He lost sight of some of the things that where important, and he treated the girl like shit. It wasn’t because he didn’t care, no, he was terrified of losing her. He was terrified she only wanted to be around him, that she only cared so much because of her feeling indebted to him when he didn’t save her so she could pay him back, he did it so she’d be with him. He was terrified that he wasn’t strong enough to protect her when he loved her more than he could properly express.”

“Eren…” Mikasa knew that he cared for her all these years, he wouldn’t still be here talking to her if she didn’t, but…

“Hey,” he said, knocking her out of her thoughts as he gestured for her to come over to him.

She stood up from her seat following his beckoning but she didn’t expect to get pulled down into the chair with him, her body sitting firmly between his legs as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her in closer to his body.

She felt his breath on her neck, his head leaning against hers. “Listen, Mikasa, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be.” She placed her hands over his, trying to ignore the way her hear heartbeat was pounding in her ears, the way goose bumps were forming on her skin from his touch. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

She could feel his body shake lightly, from what she knew to be a chuckle. Mikasa tilted her head back to look at him to see that bright smile of his. One of his hands reached up to brush some hair out of her face.

“After all these years, huh?” he mumbled lightly, his eyes still bright.

“Yes, still my hero.” She leaned her head into his touch, remembering all the times his warm body had held her over the years.

“Huh, that’s funny.” His forehead pressed down against her, his lips gently brushing over hers. “You’re still mine.” 


	21. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> February 9th - Pain
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa (with Mikasa and Armin as bros because we need more of that in the world)  
> Setting: Post Chapter 54  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 2005

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I'm so bad at making things sad. I tried to make it sad and I couldn't do it very well but its not super fluffy so I guess that's different than my normal ones lol I just really wanted to write one that focused on Mikasa and Armin's friendship because I feel like they are very close too and we never get to see that.

Armin was used to staying in strange places, after all, the barracks were really the only real bedrooms he had slept in since he lived with his grandfather but an underground cave? This was new. It was always cold and wet, though at least it smelt nice, fresh, real.

He sighed, his hand propping his head up on the table, one lantern lighting up the small room. It was some kind of hideout. Levi didn’t tell them much when he brought them there and didn’t say much once he left too causing Armin to wonder how long they’d be stuck here in hiding. He knew he’d much rather have something to be doing; otherwise his mind would just drift to the mission.  Chills went down his spine as disgust churned his stomach. He wished someone else was awake, someone to talk to.

He was actually surprised the others could sleep considering they all had to sleep on the stone floor but he could hear the soft sounds of breathing and Connie’s snoring…well, that might’ve been Sasha.

Armin was about to join them, just try to sleep at least a little bit but an ever familiar sound caught his attention. He pushed himself to his feet and grabbed the lantern to head to the other room.

Jean was sprawled out on his back, halfway on his makeshift bed, and halfway on Armin’s. Connie and Sasha were nearby with Hanji asleep by the door. Mikasa was curled up against the fall, her hands laid out on Eren’s empty bed. Armin carefully made his way towards her.

He placed his hand down on Mikasa’s shoulder, careful not to shake her, but wanting her to let her know he was there. Her eyes fluttered open, glossy and wet from the tears dripping down her face. He held his hand out to her, offering to help her up; he knew she was gonna get as much sleep as he was. He wasn’t surprised when she grabbed onto him using his weight to help her up. Armin led her out of the “bedroom” and back to the room with the table he was sitting before. He placed the lantern down and took a seat on the bench, feeling Mikasa do the same.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Mikasa’s eyes were on her hands in her lap but she nodded in response.

“Yeah, I miss him too.” Armin hated seeing Mikasa so upset. He never thought it was fair to have the one thing she wanted ripped from her all the time. Sure Armin loved Eren too, he was his best friend, his brother but Mikasa loved him on a different level; the type of love that brought her more pain than happiness but when it brought her happiness, anyone could see it. He wished he could see it now, he missed seeing her smile.

Mikasa nodded again. Armin noticed a few tears falling in her lap as she did.

“He’ll be okay.” He placed a hand on her back. “Levi’s with them. You know he won’t let anything happen to Eren, or Historia. Even if it’s just not to face you afterwards.”

She let out a chocked laugh causing Armin to feel a smile on his lips.

“He did all this for a reason, and that reason is not to just hand over two of our comrades.”

“Why couldn’t he have let me go though? I could’ve handled his plan just fine.”

“No, you’re right, I’m sure you could’ve but you…” He poked a finger towards her chest. “Are too emotionally invested. Eren is your priority, not the plan and there needed to be a balance of the both so Levi went.”

“Doesn’t make me feel any better,” she said softly, her eyes looking up at him.

“And nothing probably will.”

With a small sigh, Mikasa placed her head on Armin’s shoulder. He moved his arm around her, holding her against him.

“I just got him back, Armin. Not just Eren but my Eren.”

“He’s always been your Eren, from the moment he met you. You two just never talk about anything, you just hold everything inside because the both of you are too scared so you think Eren doesn’t want you around and Eren thinks you only want to be around because you feel indebted to him. It keeps escalating till you two are angry and hurt with each other. Sound about right?”

Mikasa didn’t respond.

“That’s okay. I’ve been around the two of you long enough to know that’s right.” He nudged her with his shoulder. “And I’m assuming something happened when we went to rescue him that relieved that horrible tension between you guys. You don’t have to tell me, I can already assume it was you who said something but not everything.” Armin looked down at Mikasa. She was never too much of a talkative though he could only imagine what she would’ve said when she thought she was spending her last moments with Eren. “You tried to kiss him didn’t you?”

“Armin,” Mikasa mumbled, elbowing him in the rib.

He saw that blush spreading through her face. He couldn’t resist a chuckle. “Whatever it was you got through to him. Everyone can see a difference in him now. I think they can see him look at you like I’ve always seen him look at you.”

Mikasa didn’t say anything again and that was okay.  

It was funny, he could remember being friends with Eren before Mikasa came into Eren’s life, but at the same time it always felt like it was the three of them for their whole lives and a lot of the time, just him and Mikasa together trying to help and support Eren. Armin knew Eren was blinded to a lot of what on around his ambitions, but Armin had a feeling Eren’s eyes were getting opened a lot more lately. And if there was anything Armin wanted, it was to see his two friends happy and not live with regret their whole lives. It would be unbearable for him to watch.

“Are you ever gonna tell him?”

She lifted her head off his shoulder to meet his eyes. She wasn’t angry at the question, no, instead her eyes were filled with a sadness; one Armin saw in her many times before. “Tell him what? We don’t have time for any of that. Even if he did feel the same…we’re fighting and getting close to something beyond all of us. There’s no time for love.”

“You’re wrong, Mikasa. Love is all we have left. It’s what drives us all. It’s what drives you, isn’t it? It’s what you live for.”

“And see what it gets me?” She sighed, her eyes looking over to the flame in the lantern. “Just a broken heart and sleepless nights.”

“Sometimes, yes,” Armin said. “But it also makes you happy when the world is so dark and dreary. Don’t try to deny it, because I see you when you don’t think anyone can see you.” He nudged her gently, watching a smile pull at her lips. That’s more like it.

“Could you…” He met her gaze once more. “Could you live with yourself if something happened to Eren, and you never told him how you felt? That he would die without knowing someone loved him more than anything else in the world?” Armin didn’t want to be harsh with her, and he prayed to every higher power there might be it would never happen, not to Eren, not to her but he did want her to understand the type of pain she was setting herself up for. In this world, in their lives, surviving was not guaranteed. Armin couldn’t sit by and just let the possibility of regret tear her apart.

“Because I know Eren wouldn’t want that. He’d want to know and I think he’d want you to know too, but he’s a little harder to get through to than you. I wouldn’t want him to live with the feeling of never telling the person he cares about most how he feels, and the same for you. You’ve had enough hurt in your life.”

“So have you,” Mikasa said, surprising Armin slightly; he hadn’t really been expecting the conversation to turn on him. “I’m sorry, about the mission. I hated having to sit by and watch it happen.”

“It was my plan, I knew the stakes. There’s nothing for you to feel sorry about.”

“But I do. I don’t like to see you hurt either.” She rested her head back against his shoulder, her eyes looking up at the dark ceiling.

Armin placed his head on top of hers. It was like they were kids again, waiting for Eren to come home after he took off after some bullies demanding that Mikasa and Armin not follow under any circumstances. He’d limp home, clearly on the losing side of the battle, at least on the days Mikasa listened to him and didn’t follow and they’d be there to make him feel better.

Nothing changed all too much except now it seemed like Eren went away more often from them and when he came back, it was with wounds much too deep for a bandage to heal.

“Is there something you two want to tell me?”

Armin jumped the same time he felt Mikasa do the same at the sound of the voice and Eren standing the doorway. His arms were across his chest, but Armin could see the faintest trace of a smile on his lips.

“I figured you’d approve more of me than Jean,” Armin said, letting go of Mikasa so she could stand up if she wanted to.

Eren snorted. “Well, you do have better hair than him.” He walked over to take a seat with them but Mikasa met him first. She didn’t even have to say anything to him. He must have seen the look in her eyes before he placed his hands on her shoulders. “I’m fine. Nothing happened, nothing went wrong. I promise.”

Mikasa nodded, her shoulders relaxing under his touch.  There it was, Armin saw the tension leaving Eren’s body just at Mikasa’s presence. It always was that way. She had a calming effect on him; which greatly helped Eren whose hot headed personality got him in trouble all the time.

“You look exhausted,” Eren muttered slightly, his hands still on her. “It’s late. God knows Levi’s gonna wake us up at the crack of dawn to tell everyone the plan for tomorrow.”

“Where’re Levi and Historia?” Armin asked, pushing himself up to his feet.

“Levi went to wake up Hanji, and Historia probably went to sleep somewhere. Which sounds like a good idea if you ask me.” He gently turned Mikasa around so her back was towards him before leading her towards the room where everyone was still sound asleep. Armin followed, carrying his lantern with him. Sure enough, Hanji was gone, but Historia had joined the room. Eren flopped down on his blankets, Mikasa doing the same near him. Armin put the lantern down just to tug his blankets out from underneath Jean. Armin laid down, about to blow out the flame when he saw his friends nearby.

Eren was saying something in low tones to Mikasa, her body facing him and one of his hands still on her shoulder. She said something back but Armin couldn’t make out what it was. They were a little bit a part, each on their own bed but Armin knew how long that was gonna last; about as long as it took him to blow out the flame, which he did. He settled down in the darkness, still hearing a little shifting from the two of them nearby.

Armin knew Mikasa probably wouldn’t take his advice, not yet at least. Those two caused each other so much unneeded pain and heartache, and yet, they still brought each other more happiness than Armin thought was left in the world and that was good enough for him.


	22. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> February 10th -Birthday/Flower
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern AU, same world as Frost  
> Rating: T (For sexual situations and implications)  
> Words: 2933

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is so random I don't even know. I wanted to do a modern AU for her birthday for a bit of a change but I didn't have much planned out for it and this is what happened lol

Eren supposed he should open his backpack and do some kinda homework, especially the kind due for tomorrow morning’s class but instead he laid on his bed, holding his phone over his head as his fingers pressed at the keypad.

_Just make sure ur here on time._

He hit send before dropping it onto the bed. Only to pick it back up again.

_And don’t forget the cupcakes either._

He dropped his phone once more. Another thought crossed his mind and he reached for his phone but it was already vibrating. His picked it up to see Armin making some goofy face before putting the phone to his ear.

“Will you stop texting me already,” Armin said before Eren could even say hello. He didn’t sound angry, no, it was the opposite; he was laughing. “Relax. I’ll be there on time, and I’ll bring the cupcakes, and the presents, and the flowers, and whatever else you made me store in my room despite the fact you have a house to hide everything in.”

“Shut up, Armin,” Eren grunted, rolling over on his bed. “You know I couldn’t hide it here. Mikasa would find it all in an instant and so would my parents. I have a funny feeling they’d think I was in love with her or something with all that stuff for her birthday.”

A beat. “Eren, you do realize that you’re in love with her and that you’ve told her as much.”

“No shit,” he rolled his eyes even though he knew Armin couldn’t see him. “But they don’t know that.”

“No, Eren I’m pretty sure they do. In fact, I’m pretty sure anyone who looks at you could tell.”

“Armin.”

“Fine, fine.” Armin was laughing again. “I’ll see you at midnight.”

“Yeah, bye.” Eren looked at the time on the top of his phone. Still another few hours till midnight. With a groan he dropped his head into his bed. He knew he probably should stop just waiting around and do his work; at least if he kept busy than time would go by faster so they could celebrate Mikasa’s birthday already.

Every year she told them not to do anything for her and every year his mom would make sure she had a party filled with everything she loved. Though through high school, his mom agreed to celebrate on the weekend for her so she wouldn’t miss out on school work that needed to get done. This year was a Monday which meant a whole week after her birthday they would have a party, and Eren just didn’t think that was right at all. Armin agreed to help but not without teasing him relentlessly all the time.

Eren pushed himself off his bed and headed towards his door. Homework could wait till the morning or the five minutes before class, whatever. He poked his head out of his room. The TV was on somewhere, probably his mom watching that cop show she liked so much while his dad was probably in his study working. Eren closed the door behind him before walking the short distance to Mikasa’s room. He didn’t bother knocking, not wanting to draw attention to his parents or her for that matter. She generally banned him from her room for a few hours during week nights so he wouldn’t distract her, but Eren felt like distracting. He swiftly opened the door, slid in, and shut the door, a motion he was rather familiar with.

Unsurprisingly Mikasa was staring at him from her bed. Open books were around her, papers piled in stacks, her laptop in her lap, fingers frozen on the keyboard. “May I help you, Eren?”

He shrugged, a smile pulling at his lips even though her face didn’t look particularly amused. He walked the short distance across her floor, pushing some of her books out of the way so he could sit down. He felt her gaze on him, and a not so happy one at that.

“Don’t give me that look. It’s Sunday, I know you’ve already done all your homework for tomorrow so why don’t you take a break with me?”

Mikasa watched him, clearly trying to see if he was up to something which really he wasn’t. Well, not until midnight; she didn’t have to know that though. He could tell when she was fighting with herself; she got this look on her face one where she was contemplating kicking him out or kicking her homework to the curb.

Eren knew he won when she pushed aside some of her papers and books to the floor to make more room. With a grin Eren leaned back on the small bed, his head hitting her pillows.

“And what did you have planned for interrupting me this night? Aside from taking up my bed.” She swatted at his legs with her hand, but she was smiling now.

He nodded towards her laptop. “Put on a movie or something.”

“What one?”

“I don’t care, Mikasa. Just put one on and get over here. It’s not that often homework gets brushed aside for me.”

Another hit to his legs causing Eren to laugh. She brought something up on her laptop, Eren not really paying all that much attention to what it was exactly, before she placed it down on her bed and scooted back to where he was laying. Her head hit the pillow next to his and his arms were around her in a second. He really intended to just come in and hang out until Armin texted him, but once she was laying down next to him, her warm body brushing against him, her legs bumping into his, it was hard not to want to touch her.

“Eren,” she chuckled, playfully pushing him away but his lips were already on the soft skin of her neck, his hands on her lower back, pulling her into him. “I thought you wanted to watch a movie.”

He gently nipped at her skin as his mouth moved up from her neck to her jaw. “This is better.”

Mikasa’s eyes fluttered shut, her hands grasping onto his shirt. “Your parents are still awake.”

“Then we’ll be quiet.” His lips met hers and Mikasa seemed to stop bringing up excuses as she moved her mouth with his. She pressed her body up against his, her arms reaching up and around his neck. Eren’s fingers dipped underneath the hem of her shirt, feeling her warm skin underneath and getting a sharp gasp from Mikasa. He ran his fingers up her back, loving how he could feel the goosebumps rising on her skin.

Mikasa was right they really probably shouldn’t be messing around with his parents both wide awake. While they wouldn’t have been surprised so to speak, Mikasa and himself being old enough to make choices for themselves, he just wasn’t sure how they’d feel about Eren sleeping with the girl who lived with them since they were nine, but she was irresistible.

She rubbed her leg up against his before carefully throwing it over his hips, pulling him in even closer to her. Eren groaned against her mouth, his hips rolling into hers no doubt making her feel just how hard she could make him in a matter of minutes. The moan that fell from her lips told him she didn’t mind so much.

Her hands fell to the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it somewhere in her room. Eren remembered when he lacked to pick up some of his clothing from Mikasa’s room leaving them for his mom to find one day when she was doing laundry. She asked him about it only for him to scramble some excuse about throwing his dirty clothes in there to bug Mikasa. Now that he thought about it they really weren’t all that discreet.

Mikasa’s hands on his bare chest quickly erased any other thoughts from his mind. Her lips broke from his, trailing down his neck to his collarbone, but Eren had something else in mind. He pressed his weight against her causing Mikasa to fall on her back, Eren settling his body down between her legs, his lips back on hers. Mikasa trailed her hands down his chest to his stomach, and right to the button of his jeans. Oh God, he wanted to let her continue but he moved his hips away from her hands.

“You know,” he mumbled against her mouth, his forehead against hers. “I believe its someone’s birthday tomorrow.” He pulled off her t-shirt, throwing it to the depths of the room before putting his hands on her waist. His lips pressed kisses along her neck, trailing down to her chest.

“Eren…” she sighed, probably wanting to tell him he didn’t have to do anything for her but his hands running over the tops over her bra, his fingers grasping at the skin falling out must have distracted her a little bit. Her hands reached up to his head, tangling her fingers in his hair which only urged him on as his mouth traveled lower on her.

“How about we celebrate it a little early and let me take care of you.”

* * *

 

Sitting out in the Jeager’s driveway wasn’t exactly Armin’s idea of fun but Eren didn’t seem to want to answer any of his texts. True, Armin had gotten here a little early to make sure they could get everything inside but it would be nice if Eren acknowledged his presence. Whatever. Armin opened his car door and stepped out into the bitter night. He opened the back seat door and carefully tried to pile as many things as he could into his backpack. The container that held the three massive cupcakes he decided to hold onto instead as well as a few gift bags that wouldn’t fit. He kicked the door shut and headed up the stone walkway to the front door. Balancing the things in one hand, Armin hit his knuckles against the door hoping someone would hear him; he didn’t want to ring the doorbell in case Mikasa heard it.

Thankfully the door swung open, blowing heat and light out at him. “Armin! What a surprise.” Aunt Carla was standing at the door, surprised but not unhappy at his late night arrival. “Come on, get in before you catch a cold.”

“With pleasure.” Armin hurried in while Aunt Carla shut the door behind him. He felt his body starting to defrost between the heat and the fireplace going nearby.

“What brings you here tonight?”

Armin held up the cupcakes and the bags. “Mikasa. We wanted to surprise her at midnight.”

“Well, that’s very sweet of you boys. I’m sure she’ll love it.” Aunt Carla started to walk back to the living room before she turned back around to him with a grin he had seen far too many times in his life. “They’re both upstairs. Erens pretending hes in his room, but you’ll find them both in her’s.”

Armin resisted rolling his eyes. No wonder he wasn’t answering him. “Thanks, Aunt Carla.” He headed up the stairs and took a right instead of a left to get to Mikasa’s room. It was close to midnight, not quite there yet but close enough for him. Armin, his hands still full, kicked lightly at Mikasa’s door to get their attention. No way was he about to just walk in there.

He heard someone’s feet hit the floor with the thud, some shuffling, some muttering before the door opened a cracked with Eren slipping out. He looked frantic until he saw Armin’s face. Eren pressed a hand to his chest as relief visibly relaxed his face.

“Yeah you better be thankful it’s not your parents. You do realize your shirt is not only backwards but inside out as well.”

Eren opened his mouth to say something but Armin had a feeling he knew what it was.

“Don’t you ask me why I didn’t let you know I was here because I did. A few times.” A grin crossed his lips. “But by all means go finish.”

“No,” he grunted, his cheeks turning a light shade of red as he crossed his arms across his chest. “I was, uh…” Eren didn’t seem to want to finish his sentence, but Armin gestured for him to continue. “Giving her an early birthday present and she was returning the favor.”

Armin had been around the two for so long that none of that bothered him, but he did like making them flustered. “Sorry, man. I can go wait in your room and I’m sure she’d have no problem getting-”

Eren gave Armin a sharp shove making him laugh even harder.

“Okay, okay. Can we do this? These cupcakes look delicious and I’m starving.”

“Hey, Mikasa,” Eren called into the room. “Close your eyes for a second okay?”

* * *

 

It wasn’t the first time his parents had nearly walked in on them; Mikasa was always just thankful both Aunt Carla and Uncle Grisha were considerate enough to knock which gave them a moment of time to recover. Which is what she was doing now, looking for her clothing hoping Eren could hold off whoever was out there. Her ears perked up at the voice as she pulled her shirt over her head. Armin? That’s certainly who it sounded like at least.

She heard Eren call out to her, making her wonder what was going on now. She sat back down on her bed, and shut her eyes like she was asked to. “Okay?” she called back out.

Mikasa heard the door open and footsteps all around her. Well, there were two people in the room that was for sure. It wasn’t until she felt something on her head that Eren told her it was okay to open her eyes.

She saw both Eren and Armin standing in front of her, both wearing flower crowns like the ones she made for them when they were kids. She reached up to her head to feel one on her as well. The end half of the bed was covered in presents, and Armin was holding a plate with three large and gourmet looking cupcakes. She blinked at them, more than a little surprised.

“Happy Birthday!” they both announced with wide smiles. Armin held the plate of cupcakes up as he danced a little bit.

Mikasa had her hand over her mouth as she looked at that them. Sure they did something for her every year on her birthday but this was different. This was just them and they looked so goofy in their little flower crowns. It was perfect.

“Thank you,” she managed out still in a slight bit of shock going from thinking she had gotten caught fooling around  with her boyfriend to having a little surprise birthday party. It was quite the turnaround.

Eren climbed up onto the bed, sitting himself behind Mikasa while Armin squeezed on as well.

“Here you go,” he said passing a white cupcake with rainbow sprinkles to her. “Vanilla funfettie cupcake for you and…” Armin turned to hand Eren one off the plate as well. “Mint chocolate chip cupcake for you, and raspberry chocolate for me.”

Mikasa couldn’t even resist taking a bite out of the cupcake piled high with frosting. This, those boys, were so worth being late on homework for. The frosting and the cupcake melted in her mouth, she even heard Eren resisting a soft moan of delight behind her.  Though the problem with this cupcake was she ended up getting more on her face than in her mouth.

“Um, did either of you bring napkins?” she asked, trying to wipe the white frosting from her face.

“Don’t worry about it, Mikasa. It was bound to happen one way or another tonight,” Armin said, trying to hold back his laughter. It didn’t work.

Eren nearly kicked him off the bed as Mikasa tried not to choke. “I’ll go get tissues, since this one…” Eren put his hand down on Armin’s head for balance as he walked off the bed. “Is no use whatsoever.”

Armin chuckled as Eren left the room. “I’m sorry, Mikasa. He’s just so easy.”

Mikasa turned her head to look at Armin, his mouth open wide as he tried to take a bite of his cupcake. “Thank you,” she said. “For all of this.”

Armin shook his head. “Don’t thank me, I just hid the stuff. This was all Eren and I made the crowns because he always sucked at it.”

“Okay, tissues.” Eren waved them over his head before take a huge bite of cupcake and making his way back to the bed. He passed one to Mikasa as he climbed over Armin once more. The movie was still playing in the background on her laptop but she paid no mind to it.

“Hey,” Mikasa turned around to look back at Eren. She gestured for him to come closer. Eren got that goofy grin on his face, the one she never got sick of seeing. “Thank you.”

He tilted his head down to her, going for her lips, but Mikasa dipped her finger in cupcake and pressed the frosting onto his face. Eren leaned back trying to reach the vanilla frosting with his tongue while Armin was still trying to get his cupcake in his mouth. Mikasa couldn’t stop laughing as she placed her finger in her mouth. They knew her too well and they knew just how she’d want her birthday.

Give or take Armin walking in on them. 


	23. Good Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good Advice
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa (with implied Connie/Sasha, Levi/Hanji, & Ymir/Historia)  
> Setting: At the cabin sometime before they leave  
> Words: 3086  
> Rating: T (For Language)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A suggestion by Ryvius that I thought was absolutely adorable where Eren and Mikasa need a little bit of relationship advice from the others. Its pretty fluffy as usual lol I tried to imply the other requested pairings as much as I could, but wanted to keep it in series as best I could too.

What was it about making something official that made everything seem like the world got flipped upside down and inside out? Eren had known Mikasa since…God, since forever; he knew her better than he knew himself and yet now that they had decided to keep things exclusive between them, Eren had no idea how to act. Every time he saw her, which was often in the small cabin, his heart sped up, his mind went completely blank, he struggled to even say hi especially when he saw her face flush red in response.

This was ridiculous. He never felt awkward around her ever but guess telling a girl how much you love her and how much she means to you will do that.

Eren sighed as he hit the back of his head against the kitchen wall. He was supposed to be doing the dishes but he couldn’t get the uneasy feeling out of the pit of his stomach. For God’s sake they used to sleep in the same bed, he should feel at ease knowing him and Mikasa were finally on the same page. A load should be off his shoulders, that the girl he loved longer than he knew to admit loved him too.

“Hey!” Connie popped his head in the kitchen. “Need some help?”

Eren looked over to the pile of dishes he had yet to touch. “Ah, yeah. That’d be helpful.”

Connie walked into the room and over to the sink. “I finished my chores already but if I’m not doing anything God knows the Lance Corporal will just give me more crap to do.”

Eren nodded also moving over to the dishes without a word; that must have been unusual because Connie gave him a strange look.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“Heh? Nothing.”

Connie leaned forward to turn on the water, letting the sink fill up some. “I don’t buy that for a second. Even you wouldn’t risk just standing around not doing chores.” He shut off the water before picking up a rag and a dish.

Talking about this with Connie was the last thing he wanted to do. Besides, the only person who knew and who Eren even wanted to know was Armin mainly because he guessed shortly after it happened. It had only been a few days ago but Eren could still feel Mikasa’s warm lips on his, the way her hands held onto his face, her body close to-

“Hello? Eren? Are you actually gonna pay attention?”

Eren blinked before looking down at the wet plate Connie was shoving in his direction. “Yeah, sorry,” he mumbled before taking a dry cloth from nearby and grabbing the plate. “It’s just…” How could he possibly say anything without giving the whole situation away? “Girls.”

There that was innocent enough.

Connie nodded his head as he passed Eren another dish. “So you mean Mikasa.”

Eren nearly dropped the plate in his hands. “What the hell makes you think that?”  

“Well, there are only four girls here with us. I’m assuming you don’t mean Hanji, and Historia doesn’t really care for anyone. I know it’s not Sasha, so it’s gotta be Mikasa.” Connie dipped the dishes in his hand into the soapy water. “Plus the way you two look at each other? Please. No contest.”

Eren couldn’t help but just stare at Connie. When the hell did he get so observant? Dammit. Well, whatever, no denying it now. He placed the plate on the slowly rising stack of plates on the counter before turning to grab a bowl. “When does it…stop being so awkward?”

“The sex?”

“No!” Eren did drop the bowl in his hands, but thankfully grabbed a hold of it again before it hit the floor. That’s all he needed, for Levi to come in and yell at him for breaking a plate. “I just meant in general. Jesus.”

“You’ve known her since you were kids haven’t you?” Connie shrugged. “Why does it have to be awkward? It’s not like she’s a stranger.”

Eren took the next bowl from Connie’s hands, running the towel over the wet surface. “Yeah but I dunno what I’m supposed to do. Am I supposed to act different around her? Act…I dunno more romantic or something?”

Connie snorted in laughter and Eren resisted throwing the bowl at him. Some help he was.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Connie said glancing over. “It’s just the thought of you being publicly romantic with anyone.” He laughed again this time causing Eren to hit him in the shoulder. “Okay, okay. Seriously, I’m pretty sure that’s not what Mikasa wants. She likes you. Grumpy, angry, idealistic you. So, no, you don’t have to act any different around her.” He passed Eren a few cups stacked together. “Though I would suggest not brushing her off and snapping at her when she tried to help like I’ve seen you do plenty of times. Pretty sure that’s not how you want to treat the person you care about.”

Eren grunted. Yeah, it’s not like he needed to be reminded of all the crap he had already put her through. It was a miracle Mikasa even still talked to him, let alone loved him. Even just thinking the words made his cheeks heat up.

“Do nice things when you can. Like help her with chores, or let her know that your there by giving her small touches or risk curfew to sneak into the kitchen to get her food.”

“I think that’s just Sasha who appreciates that.” Eren didn’t miss the red tint that crossed over Connie’s cheeks.

“Ahh, you know what I mean.” Connie shrugged it off, but his face was still red causing Eren to grin. That feeling he could understand. “Be yourself, because that’s who she likes, but don’t push her away in the process. Adapt to having a person to share your life with.”

Eren nodded. It might have just been Connie, but he understand what he was trying to say.

“Thanks,” Eren said, placing the cups down on the counter.

“Hey, man, no problem. Just call me Connie the love doctor.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna call you that.”

* * *

 

Mikasa swung her ax down at the log of wood in front of her. Normally a nice clean cut with two even pieces of wood to greet her, but all day she kept looking down at two uneven pieces that looked like a child cut through them.

For the past few days she couldn’t keep the fluttering from out of her stomach; ever since Eren came to her and told her everything that he felt. She hadn’t felt that happy in such a long time and yet lately something just felt wrong. Eren seemed plenty happy to see her everyday but he didn’t talk to her like he used to, or even seem to want to be near her for more than short moments through the day. Mikasa couldn’t help but wonder if she had done something wrong, or if he regretted what he said to her.

She groaned and kicked the wood off to the side where Historia had been picking them up and piling them up under the tarp.

This time, the blonde girl merely crossed her arms and looked up at Mikasa. “I normally wouldn’t care how you wanted to chop wood, but at this rate we are going to be out here all day so get it out. What’s on your mind.”

Mikasa placed another log up, and swung her ax down against it. Well, that one wasn’t as bad. “Nothing.”

“Honestly, I don’t care much about your business, but it’s preventing us from getting work in the way Levi demands it done so just tell me to get it out of your system. Here I’ll get you started. I know it’s about Eren since he’s the only thing in this world that gets you shaken up. Go on and finish.”

Mikasa had never really talked to Historia, even when she was Christa; not that Mikasa ever really had a desire to. Historia was always with Ymir, like Mikasa was always with Eren.

Maybe they weren’t so different after all. “Eren’s avoiding me more than usual,” Mikasa said. She figured might as well just keep it straight to the point if Historia really wanted to know. It’s not like the either of them sat around their beds talking about which boys or girls were the cutest.

“Well, chopping uneven wood isn’t going to help you fix that. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t think I’ve never seen the way you two operate. All you do is misunderstand each other and then get angry at each other.”

Mikasa gripped onto the ax in her hands. Well, she couldn’t quite deny that.

“Having a relationship with someone means talking to them. Ymir…” Historia paused suddenly, as if she had forgotten where she was, forgotten what had gone on around her. Mikasa couldn’t help but feel sorry for Historia. Mikasa couldn’t imagine having to leave Eren behind like Historia had to leave Ymir.

“I learned how to be honest with Ymir, and tell her things about me I never told anyone before and we were close because of that. I suggest you learn to do the same.”

That was the first time Mikasa even heard Historia talk about Ymir and their relationship with. It must have been hard for her to say, to be reminded of the times that were no longer with her. Mikasa could understand that as well.

“Thank you.”

Historia shrugged in response. “Can we just be done and go inside?”

Mikasa leaned down to pick up some of the discarded logs before shouldering her ax. Historia was already headed for the cabin when Mikasa started walking.

She was always afraid to talk to Eren; afraid he’d misunderstand her, that he’d realize how much she cared for him and wouldn’t want her around anymore but that clearly wasn’t the case. A smile pulled at her lips; no, things were very different now, in all the best ways and she knew if she let herself sink into bad habits things would go back to the way they always were between them.

That was something she didn’t want. Historia was right.

* * *

 

Once the dishes were done, Connie ran off somewhere with a quick bye. Eren assumed it was probably to go see if Sasha had finished cleaning the back yard yet. He sat himself down on the couch in the living room, hoping Levi stayed busy enough not to come in and give him more work to do. The house was unusually quiet, granted there weren’t that many of them here to begin with.

“Is doing work too good for you, Jaeger?”

Levi’s voice sent a jolt through Eren’s body; like when his dad used to scold him as a kid. “The dishes are all finished, sir. I was just waiting for the others to get done.”

“Then go up and clean that disaster you call your room.”

Yeah, definitely getting yelled at by his dad but since it was just him and Levi in the house at the moment, a thought jumped to his mind. “Could I ask you a question, sir?”

“No, not if you’re just delaying getting any work done.”

“That’s not it.” Eren leaned back against the couch, his arms crossing against his chest. Levi was eyeing him, clearly not believing a word he said.

“Fine. What do you want?”

“I uh.” Eren could feel his heart jumping up into his throat. There was something he had wanted to ask Levi, something he had been thinking about the past few days, but now faced with his Captain’s narrowed eyes Eren realized asking this might get him a foot up his ass.

“Spit it out, I don’t have all damn day.” Levi was the one with his arms crossed now, and Eren had found his confident stance dwindled down to his fingers picking at the couch.

“How does the military feel about relationships?” Eren looked up to try and meet Levi’s gaze, and tried to ignore his cheeks heating up.

Levi arched an eyebrow. “To not do it because chances are you’re just gonna die anyway.”

Eren supposed he shouldn’t have expected less than a morbid answer from him. “I mean, what if…” There was no way Eren was going to say himself and Mikasa; he could only imagine what Levi would have to say about that. Unfortunately the only other option wasn’t much better. “You and Squad Leader Hanji wanted to be together, would that be breaking any laws?”

Levi didn’t answer at first he just stared, his eyes narrowed.

Eren thought he might get that ass kicking right about now. He was completely caught off guard when Levi sat down in the nearby chair, though he still had that look of distaste on his face.

“No.” He crossed his arms against his chest, one leg crossing over the other. “We’re at the same level so to speak so there’d be no issue.  If she or I wanted to be in a relationship with any of you brats, and don’t mistake me that thought alone makes me want to hurl, that would be enough for punishment since we’re your ranking officers.”

Eren nodded; he hadn’t quite got the answer he wanted, but he got the question he asked answered, which was more than he expected from Levi.

“I know you weren’t asking about any relationship between Hanji and I or I would’ve already sent you to weed the backyard and to wait to have personal training with me for the rest of the night.” It was such a small change of his facial expression, but Eren swore he saw Levi’s face soften slightly. “If you wanted to be in a relationship with one of your comrades, say I don’t know the only girl you ever pay attention to, then no that wouldn’t be against the rules either.”

Well, that was the answer he was looking for. It was actually really nice of him to say, Eren wasn’t expecting him to answer like that.

“But if you get the only competent member of this team pregnant you’ll be lucky if you ever have working parts again.”

That was more along the lines of what he had been expecting. Eren quickly stood up, trying once more to ignore the heat rushing to his face. “I’m just gonna go clean that room now.”

“Good answer, Jaeger.”

* * *

 

“Eren?” Mikasa knocked gently before pushing open the door of the room that he shared with Connie and Jean. Levi had told her to go up and help him finish cleaning the room and Mikasa could see why. Eren was half laying on his bed, with his feet still on the ground, and the room still looking like it always did.

She walked over him and picked up the arm that was covering his face. She expected to see his closed eyes, but his wide open, blue eyes were staring back at her.

“What’re you doing? Levi will just make you do something all night if you don’t finish what you were told to do.”

Eren just stared up at her, not moving.

“Is something wrong?” she mumbled, suddenly very aware of her close proximity to him, the way she felt his body heat radiating onto her. Mikasa straightened up before sitting down on the bed next to him. “Did I done something wrong?”

That seemed to get his attention. He sat up, his forehead scrunched together, just like it used to when he was a kid. “What? Why would you say that?”

She shrugged, her eyes looking out at the room. She wasn’t good at this; probably about as good as Eren was but she couldn’t get what Historia said off her mind; she knew what it felt like to never talk about anything with him and it wasn’t a feeling she enjoyed at all. “You’ve just seemed to be avoiding me since we talked and I thought…maybe you didn’t want what you had said.” Mikasa knew that didn’t make much sense at all, but the way her heart was pounding in her chest she was lucky anything came out.

“What? No!” Eren shook his head. “I just didn’t know how I was supposed to act around you anymore and I got…nervous but I realize now that it doesn’t matter, I should just act myself. Well, most of myself, some parts not so much.” He gave her an apologetic smile, one that easily melted her heart.

Mikasa felt a smile pulling at her lips. That was it? He was worried about how he should act? Really? “Of course you should be yourself; that’s who I love isn’t it?”

Eren’s eyes met hers as he reached a hand out to her cheek. “It’s nice to hear you say that,” he mumbled, his face tinting red.

“It’s the truth.” She placed her hand over his, her head leaning into his touch. She opened her mouth to say something else, but what it was she couldn’t remember the moment his mouth was on hers. She never thought it would be this way but she was never going to let it go, even if it meant asking others for help.

 Mikasa reached up to run her fingers through his hair, her lips moving with his. Eren’s hands grasped at her waist pulling her off the bed and into his lap with ease. She couldn’t resist a sigh against his mouth as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Hey, Eren, have you seen…”

Mikasa snapped her head towards the now wide open door, her heart pounding in her chest and heat rising to her cheeks at the sudden voice.

Jean stood in the doorway, his eyes wide and his face just as red as she assumed hers was. His hand was still grasping onto the doorknob as he seemed to be processing what was happening.

“What the hell do you want?” Eren said, not moving or letting Mikasa move from her spot.

Jean’s face quickly turned from surprise to anger. “You want some goddamn advice? Learn to lock the fucking door.” He slammed the door shut, footsteps marching down the hallway.

“You know, he was probably right.” Mikasa looked back over to Eren, who was still glaring at the door.

Eren shrugged, pulling her close again, his lips brushing against hers. “Good advice for another day.”


	24. You Only Know You Love Her When You Let Her Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You Only Know You Love Her When You Let Her Go
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Somewhere in the current arc  
> Rating: T+ (I really only rate smut M but this has pretty strong language)  
> Words: 6064

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request very different from my normal ones. This was from ButterflyBlueEyes who wanted a story about Eren thinking Mikasa was dead and realizing his feelings for her. I'm sorry if it’s too much, drama isn't want I write most often but it gets pretty fluffy too so don't worry! Of course the title is from “Let Her Go” by Passenger. 
> 
> This is still, to date, my favorite story I've written. It was a challenge because it was different and I just loved how it came out.

_Please look at the[gorgeous fanart](http://lyssala.tumblr.com/post/99317720475/daydream24-7-eren-was-aware-of-how-close-he) the ever wonderful and talented Rose ([Daydream24-7](http://daydream24-7.tumblr.com/)) drew for this story!_

 

“I wonder what’s taking them so long?” Eren looked up from his seat at the table to one of the outside windows. They should have been back hours ago.

“Something might’ve went wrong.”

He glanced over to Historia sitting across from him and picking at the candle wax from the lantern on the table. “That’s not exactly what I want to hear.”

“But that doesn’t mean it’s not the truth.” She shrugged seeming unconcerned.

Eren’s fingers tapped at the table, his leg fidgeting underneath him. He hated being stuck inside all the time, never going out and helping his team. He understood why, yeah, but that didn’t mean he liked being cooped up in one place or another. At least they were out of that cave and back where he could see sunlight. Granted it was a house tucked away in the woods again, but this time much closer to where they had to be for their next move.

Footsteps up the wooden porch perked up Eren’s ears; finally they were back. It was just a routine supply run, Historia was just being a downer. Hanji seemed to hear them too as she poked her head in from the other room where she had been working.

“Jaeger, come with me.” Levi was barely in the house and into the room when he motioned for Eren to get up. His tone was strange.

Eren stood up to his feet but what was going on? Armin was in next; maybe he…something was wrong. Armin wouldn’t even meet his eyes; none of them would as they walked down the stairs, no one except Sasha who…was crying.

“Wha-”

“Now.”

Levi turned to leave the room and Eren scurried to catch up. He followed Levi past the kitchen and into a small room where he knew Levi had meetings. Something happened and it wasn’t good. The door slammed shut behind them leaving them alone with a few chairs and a table.

Levi leaned in to light the candle on the table. “Sit down.”

“Sir, please just tell me what the hell is goi-”

“Sit down.”

Eren grunted as he sat his body down in the chair, his arms crossing over his chest. He looked up at Levi expecting to get yelled at but his commanding officer just looked tired. “Sir?”

Levi looked up to meet his eyes. “We got ambushed. A deviant and a few 10 meter class came out of nowhere. We were completely caught off guard but we managed to take them down quickly.” He paused for a moment. “The last I saw of Mikasa she got knocked out of the air by one’s hand. It didn’t look like it grabbed at her, but we couldn’t find her or her body after they were taken care of. As of right now Mikasa is missing.”

Eren watched Levi, listening to his words but none of it seemed to make any sense. Mikasa was the best fighter he knew aside from Levi. She could handle a few titans on her own, let alone with others. “So where is she? If you didn’t see her get…” He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. “Eaten then she has to be there.

Levi gently put his hands on the table, his body leaning against it. “I have no idea where she would’ve gone to. We looked until the sun went down. There was nothing we could do in the dark.”

“So you left her?” Eren barely felt himself stand up, the chair scraping against the wooden floor. “She could be hurt. She could be bleeding out somewhere and you just left her?”

“We looked all around the area for her. We waited for the bodies to evaporate to see if one fell near her. There was no sign-”

“Bullshit there’s always a sign!” his voice was rising he knew, but it was out of his control. His fists were clenched against his side, his eyes narrowed. He couldn’t even remember the last time he felt this much anger surge through him. Mikasa never gave up on him and he was not gonna let those bastards just give up on her. “We need to go back out there and find her. Right now.”

“And do what? Call her name into the night? Its fucking pitch black out there. We’ll go back out in the morning and look again.”

Eren shook his head, his teeth grinding together. “She could be dead by then!”

“We were attacked by titans. Eren, you need to come to terms with the fact that she could already be dead.”

He felt his heart sink into his stomach, his head still shaking back and forth. Silence settled over the room as Levi watched him. “Don’t you fucking say that.” Hot tears stung his eyes. “Don’t you dare. Not Mikasa. I’ll go after her myself.”

“Yeah, and get yourself killed, that will help this entire situation. We’ll go in the morning.”

Eren knew Levi’s word was law. That’s the way it was and Eren felt like he was six years old being scolded by his father but he wasn’t six any more and this wasn’t over a broken toy. This was Mikasa. And she was hurt out there. Eren gritted his teeth and turned away from Levi. Eren didn’t care if Levi had anything else to say, Eren didn’t want to hear it. He swung open the door and went back into the living room without a glance.

Almost everyone was staring at him; he had no doubt his shouting drifted right into this room. Historia was still sitting where she had been, with Connie and Sasha joining her. Hanji placed her hand on Eren’s shoulder before walking past him probably to go where Levi was. Jean was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands.

“Eren?” Armin’s soft voice caught his attention.

He looked over at his friend who was taking a few steps towards him. Armin was cautious, but Eren saw the sadness in his eyes. Eren knew he should be the good friend, he should comfort Armin too. This couldn’t be easy on him either but Eren couldn’t even comfort himself let alone someone else. He shook his head and walked to the stairs, not looking back until he got to his room. He shut the door behind him and sank to the floor.

Not Mikasa.

Not her.

Not when he wasn’t even there to help her, to save her, to protect her and now something happened to her.

For the first time since he was nine years old, Mikasa wasn’t with him, and he had no idea when she was coming back. The thought chilled him to his very core. He pushed himself off the floor and moved to his bed, not even bothering to get changed. The faster this night was over, the faster he could find Mikasa just bring her back; know she was safe again. She’d be safe. She couldn’t be gone. She was _always_ there. He promised they’d always be together. She wasn’t gone.

* * *

 

Eren was surprised when he walked down the stairs just before sunrise to see Levi already standing at the window. Eren thought he’d be the first one up, after the hellish night of practically zero sleep he got.

“Go grab some gear, Jaeger. I sent Hanji to wake up the others.” Levi glanced over at Eren before looking back out the window. Levi didn’t look much better.

Without a word, Eren started to pull out their gear from the nearby storage closet. It seemed like ages since he wore these things, having to be kept inside and under watch all the damn time. Though Eren was pretty sure if it was anyone other than Mikasa, he’d still be stuck inside.

He started to strap himself into the gear, pushing his cloak out of the way so he could twist his body around and make sure everything was secure. He refused to come back without Mikasa, or at least some sort of clue about her whereabouts. There had to be something; something other than his dreams in where no matter how hard he searched, he only ever found her body.

Eren felt a hand on his shoulder and turned his head to see Armin standing behind him; Eren hadn’t even noticed the others come down the stairs; they were all here now, save for Historia. No one really said anything, just the noises of gear being moved around and getting hooked up.

“Hey, Eren?”

He looked up to Armin, who was watching him still. Armin had a smile on his face, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Remember that time when we were kids and we were at the market alone?”

Levi opened the door, motioning for them to all head out.

Eren shrugged at Armin’s question as he started to walk out into the still slightly bitter morning. “We did that a lot.”

“Yeah, but this was the time we lost Mikasa and we thought your mom was gonna kill us if we didn’t find her.”

Ah yeah, he remembered that. It seemed kind of like a dream at this point in their lives, but he remembered being under the hot sun, shouting her name. “Yeah.” Eren pulled his cloak tighter around him as they followed Levi off the porch and into the nearby woods that lead to the closest town. “And we found her sitting at a table with some sweets someone gave her waiting for us to show up so she could share them.”

Armin chuckled. “Mikasa is smart, and resourceful. I’m sure she’s just gonna yell at us when we find her for making her sit out here all night.”

Eren would take her yelling at him all day if it meant she was okay. It had only been one night; one night and he never knew how much he could miss her voice, her face, her very presence just in the same house as him. Since they joined the military, Eren had trouble sleeping without her in the same room as him, let alone not knowing where she was, if she was safe. It was unbearable.

There was a clearing nearby but one clearly made by a fight; there were trees down everywhere and it still smelt like dissolving titan flesh. This was where it happened.

“Spread out but stay together in small groups,” Levi called to them. “We have plenty of sunlight but who knows how far around the area we’ll have to look. Try not to call her name too loudly in case there’re people around come to see what happened yesterday. Report anything immediately.”

The others started to wander around the area. Connie was calling out Mikasa’s name as quietly as he could; it was the only other sound aside from footsteps on the forest floor. Armin followed behind Eren as he walked outside the clearing. No use looking in the areas they already did last night. She would’ve moved far out of the way if she couldn’t fight the titans that were here. He walked slowly, looking everywhere his eyes could see, any little thing that would help.

So far it just looked like a forest to him.

Eren kept walking out, farther away from the clear evidence of titans. He knew Armin was still with him, looking on the other side but the others were off in the distance. She had to be here somewhere. She was probably hurt and couldn’t walk. Maybe she was even knocked out somewhere. She needed to get help, not be sitting out in the woods alone.

Something caught his eye. Something that was very out of place in a forest. He practically ran to the tree. There was no denying it. Eren reached down to pick up the red scarf he knew so well. He ran his fingers over the material as it lay draped in his hands. His heart fluttered in his chest. There was no way she’d just leave this here. She had to be here.

“Mikas-” Eren didn’t even get the chance to finish her name. She wasn’t sitting round the other side of the tree like he assumed. No, but blood was, all over the trunk and the ground.

“No…” Armin was near him again but Eren couldn’t see him.  He couldn’t see anyone.

The ground started spinning, and his head started to throb. He thought he heard someone call his name, but it was far away. He reached up to press a hand to his head but before he could make sense of anything he felt his knees hit the forest ground. Hands steadied him but Eren had no idea whose hands they were. His hands he could see. They were covered in red. Not blood like he saw, the material was too soft in his hands and warm. He brought it up to his face. He could still feel the overwhelming sense of comfort when the scarf still smelt like her, but it was quickly replaced by a sharp pain in his chest.

Voices sounded around him, but he didn’t lift his head, he didn’t bother moving.

“Braus, see if you can find a trail. She was here so I want to know if she moved. Now.”

“Eren?”

That voice was closer. Armin. His hand was on Eren’s head. He looked up to see Armin kneeling in front of him, but he was blurry, the whole world around Eren was. It took him a moment to realize he was crying.

“Arlert, take him back. We’ll keep looking.” Levi must’ve been nearby too.

“Sir.” Armin hesitated. “He’s just gonna drive himself crazy pent up back there. At least here he’ll know-”

“With that much blood loss there is nothing here that he’ll want to see. Take him back.”

Eren felt two hands grab onto his shoulders and pull him up to his feet. Judging by the way Armin was still sitting in front of him, he took it to be Levi.

“I want to stay,” Eren muttered, reaching his arm up to wipe his face on his sleeve. “I need to-”

“The last thing we need is you having a meltdown and getting unstable. We’re in hiding. I’d like to keep it that way.” Levi paused for a moment as Eren dropped his hand again, Mikasa’s scarf still tight in his hands. “I doubt she let that thing go without reason. She was probably leaving us a sign. If she’s out here. We’ll find her, though I’m not gonna fucking sugarcoat it for you. Now get out of here.”

Eren felt hands on him again, this time much warmer than the Lance Corporal’s hard grip.

“C’mon, Eren.” It was Armin. He gently tugged at him till Eren started to walk back the direction they came. The voices of the others started to fade away from his ears.

The sun was higher than when they left the house, the bright rays hitting Eren’s eyes through the trees. “Do you think they’ll find her?” His voice was a lot quieter than he expected.

“I think, hope is the only thing we have left.” Eren felt Armin’s hand clasp onto his shoulder.

It seemed so worthless at this point. They saw so many people, so _many_ people they loved killed in front of their eyes. What made this any different? Why did he refuse to let this one go?

Eren knew of course. It wasn’t just anyone they were talking about. It was Mikasa, who had been right by his side every day since they were nine years old. Who was there for him in every situation. Who saved his life at risk of her own more than once and without her, all it left was a hole. It was like a piece of him had suddenly been ripped away leaving him aching. He needed to see those eyes of hers again, that small smile, to see the scarf around her neck again for him to feel whole again.

He wondered when it happened; when she wrapped herself so much around him that living without her was painful. He never even saw it happen. He never felt it happen. Not until she wasn’t there.

“Eren..?”

The house was in sight now, just out of the forest.

He reached up and wiped away the tears he could feel rolling down his cheeks. “Yeah. I’m fine.” He wasn’t even convinced himself, let alone enough to convince Armin, but his friend didn’t say anything else, he just headed up the porch stairs to get the door.

No one was in the living room when they stepped in. It was still early. Historia and Hanji were probably doing morning chores Levi left for them. The door shut behind them and Hanji’s head popped out of the kitchen. She had a towel over her shoulder and a wide smile, clearly expecting good news if they were back so early. Neither of them had to say a word, Hanji’s eyes saw the scarf still in Eren’s hands, and the smile dropped from her face.

“Where are the others?” she asked, obviously not wanting to ask the other question.

“Still looking,” Armin answered. “They found a trail so I’m sure they’ll be back when they find something.”

Clearly not the answer anyone wanted to hear but Hanji nodded and disappeared back into the other room.

Eren worked on getting his useless gear off before dropping down on the couch, Mikasa’s scarf falling onto his lap. It was funny. It was his scarf once, but not since that night. He passed it over to her just to keep her warm when she was cold, and she never took it off again. He never thought of it as his again, it was always hers.

“I should’ve been there,” Eren murmured. He looked up from his lap to see Armin take a seat in a chair nearby.

“Don’t do that to yourself. You weren’t there and it’s not your fault.”  Armin didn’t look over at him, but his voice was firm.

“She was always there for me, and the one time she needs me I’m not even there to help her. And now she’s…” Eren’s voice broke, his eyes falling back to his lap, his fingers grasping onto the red scarf.

“Eren.” He felt Armin’s gaze on him. “You did more for her in her lifetime than anyone. You’re not to blame here. If you want to blame someone, blame the person who was there, who saw her fall, and still couldn’t get to her in time.”

“How could you blame yourself for that?” Eren looked up at his old friend. “You were trying to save everyone from titans. There’s no way you could see everything that was going on.”

Armin gave him a wry smile. “And how could you blame yourself for not being there?”

Eren decided it was probably better not to respond to that but it couldn’t change the aching guilt in the pit of his stomach. They all joined knowing they could die at any second, but now that he was faced with the reality of living without Mikasa? What was it even worth?

“I tried,” Armin said. “I saw her go down from the air and I ran to find her on the ground, to help her get back up before a titan found her but she was gone. Not on the ground, not in the air and I searched for her while everyone was fighting because…because…” His eyes were on his hands. “How could I come back and tell you she was gone?”

“You had no idea,” Eren said. “This is Mikasa we are talking about. How could any of us known? She’s always been able to take care of herself.”

Armin let out a choked laugh. “No, Eren, she’s always been able to take care of you, not herself.”

Eren opened his mouth to ask what the hell he was talking about, but Armin’s eyes met his.

“She lived her whole life for you. Everything she did was for you to be safe. I never knew how you couldn’t see it and...and I probably shouldn’t be the person to tell you this but at this point I don’t know if there’s anyone else left to. She joined the military for you, to be with you and it was never to repay a debt like you always thought, though I think you at least know that by now. Eren, she loves you. She always has. I’ve known it for years, and I think it’s time you do too.”

Eren felt his stomach lurch, his heart in his throat. The room started to spin again as he closed his eyes, his head falling in his hands. Jesus Christ. How could he be so stupid. Of course, she did. It was so clear now looking back. Oh God. All that time and the way he treated her. She should hate him; he deserved that at least. Not the...the love of someone as amazing as her. He never…he never told her enough, let her know how much she meant to him. All these years, it was always her. From the moment he met her, it was her.

The door swung open causing Eren to fumble to his feet. Desperation filled his very soul as he watched the faces of his squad walk in. The one face he wanted to see more than anyone in the world was still not there.

“I’m sorry, Eren,” Sasha spoke up from the front of the group. Her fingers were fidgeting with each other. “We found a trail, but it stopped suddenly and then we heard people and we had to leave.”

Eren looked over to Levi, who was taking off his gear. “So you left her again?”

“Jaeger, I am really not in the mood for your shit right now.” He didn’t even turn around. “If the titans didn’t get to her, than she probably died in the forest trying to get out. The situation leaves little room for anything else.”

“How can you even say that,” he said through gritted teeth, trying to fight back the stupid tears he knew threatened to fall once more.

Levi turned around, his eyes fierce. “Because it’s the truth. Now stop being a child and just expect it. Do you think any of us enjoy loosing people? No, but it fucking happens. So you need to learn to get over it so we can move on with our mission.”

Eren wanted to hit him. To just throw himself into a fight he knew he could never win. He glanced over at Armin, whose face was staring at the ground, his eyes glossy. Eren turned away from them, still holding her scarf, and walked until he reached his room, slamming the door behind him. He felt like he was a child again, throwing himself down face first onto his bed but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

His hands brought the soft material of her scarf up to his face. It still smelt like her. He knew that smell would fade over time, and the thought only made him feel like he got punched in the gut. His chest constricted and heaved. He tried to breathe in to control his breath but it only got choked up in his throat. A heavy sob racked his body. He tried to bite back his tears but it wasn’t happening.

He remembered how it felt to lose his mom whom he loved and he remembered how it felt to lose Petra and the others who trusted him but this…this was different.

Another sob and soon they wouldn’t stop. He held his hands over his face, trying to hide his cries into the fabric, tears pouring down his face.

This was a gaping hole in his chest. This was his life losing its drive. This was losing the person he was in love with and this was living with never having told her that.

* * *

 

Eren wasn’t sure how long had had laid in bed, or when he fell asleep but when his eyes cracked open, the sun had been long set. His eyes stung at the air suddenly hitting him, causing him to reach up and rub them as he sat up. His head was throbbing but the last thing he wanted to do was sit in bed. He went to stand up but something fell off his lap as he did. Eren reached down to pick up the scarf he had with him since he found it. He carefully wrapped it around his neck, just like how Mikasa did it. It was a sharp jab to the chest more than anything, but he’d keep it safe for her.

He opened his door and headed down the empty hallway. It was dark, like he expected. Everyone must be in bed already but as he approached the staircase, there was one flickering candle on the table in the living room. Levi was sitting there, his eyes on papers in front of him. Eren almost turned and went back to his room, but he didn’t want to. If anyone understood, it would be Levi.

Eren quietly walked down the stairs and made his way to the other side of the table. Levi glanced up at him but didn’t say a word. He just looked back down at what he was reading. Taking that as a sign Levi didn’t want to beat the shit out of him, he pulled a chair out to sit at the other end of the table.

“It looked better on her,” Levi said, flipping a page over.

Eren snorted in response, but it was probably true. “Sir? I’m-”

“If you are going to apologize to me about earlier, don’t bother. “ He put his papers down, meeting Eren’s eyes across the table. “It’s not like anyone in this place hasn’t lost someone but that doesn’t mean you let it blind you. We don’t get the luxury of funerals and mourning. You know that. It’s shitty but its life.”

Eren nodded, his fingers pulling on the wood of the table. “It’s just, it was Mikasa. Of all people, I could count on her to always be there.”

“She had the tolerance of a saint to put up with your dumbass.”

A smile pulled at his lips. “Yeah, she really did. I didn’t deserve any of it.”

Levi propped his chin up on his hands. “I think she’d beg to differ.”

Eren felt an ache in his chest, his small smile falling. What was his life going to become? Did it even matter if they saw the outside world if she wasn’t there with them? Did anything even matter anymore.

“It’s not easy to lose the person you’re in love with. She knew that, which why she put me through hell to save your ass all the time but giving up isn’t an option either.”

Eren’s head snapped up to look at Levi again.

“Don’t think I don’t know you, brat. If you even think about going back on what you want, she’ll find a way back to this place and kick your sorry ass for you.” He looked back down at his papers. “She was a good solider, Jaeger, and good person. Be thankful you got so much time with her.”

His fingers tugged on the ends of the worn scarf. He did have a lot of time with her, good and bad but almost ten years worth. Even knowing this was how it all ended, he didn’t regret saving her that day. She made his life better, she always had.

Eren pushed himself away from the table and went to stand up; maybe someone left him some food in the kitchen. Armin might have. He slowly walked across the room when something caught his attention. Some kind of noise outside the door. Levi stood to his feet, clearly having heard it too. He made a motion to Eren to stay where he was as Levi slowly walked to the door. In a swift motion, he swung open the door, expecting a person to be standing there, but instead a person fell in through the doorway.

Eren stared down at the body, the slim body, the black hair, the bandaged wrist poking out from under a torn white shirt. He felt his stomach lurched up to his throat. It took him a moment before he dove down at the ground. His heart was pounding in his chest as he reached down to pull her up into his arms. Her body was so light as she rolled into his lap, her head falling backwards. His breath caught in his throat when he saw the face he never thought he would again. His hand reached out to hold Mikasa’s head up and he leaned down to press his ear to her chest.

“She’s breathing.” Eren could barely control his shaking hands as he held her close to him. He brushed some of the hair out of her face. Mikasa was tough, the toughest person he knew. He shouldn’t have been surprised really, but all he could feel was overwhelming relief.

Her eyes fluttered open, those dark eyes he knew so well. God he wished he could stop crying for two damn seconds today but for the first time in the past two days, it was because she was safe.

“Eren…” her voice was soft, barely there but he could hear her. Her voice alone brought a smile to his face.

“Hey,” he ran his thumb over her cheek. “Don’t talk okay, we’re gonna get you help.”  

“She’s lost a lot of blood.” Eren hadn’t even noticed Levi couched down next to her looking over her wounds with the candle. “Pick her up and follow me.”

Eren didn’t need to be told twice. He carefully put his other arm under her legs and pulled her up with him. She made a few noises as her body fell into his but Eren kept her close to him.

Levi led them up the stairs and down the hall before pounding on Hanji’s door. “Open up, shitty glasses.”

There were some scuffling noises, before the door opened. Hanji peered out looking confused at first but as she looked from Levi to Eren with a gasp and back to Levi. “Is that…?”

“Yeah are you just gonna make him stand there holding her or let us in to see what’s wrong?”

Hanji stepped aside as she rolled up her sleeves ushering them. Eren followed Levi in the room and laid Mikasa down on Hanji’s bed. Under the candlelight, Eren could see the dried blood all over her clothes, the cuts underneath, the deeps wounds on her legs, her stomach.

Mikasa was still conscious her eyes calm as Levi ripped at her shirt and pants to be able to see all the damage. She wasn’t looking at them though, she was looking at Eren.

Hanji let out a low whistle. “You got yourself real beat on, and then infected probably from the time you were crawling around outside. Let me go get some supplies from down stairs.” She was gone without another word.

“Jaeger, I’d tell you to get the hell out of here, but something tells me you’re not gonna budge.” Levi wasn’t looking at him, still carefully feeling over Mikasa, checking for broken bones Eren assumed. “You have a chance most people would kill for so don’t get in the way.”

“Yes, Sir.” Eren didn’t look over at him, his eyes were still on Mikasa. He kneeled down by the side of the bed and reached over to grab her hand that was laying out. Her skin was rough against his, but that was okay. She was okay. She’d be okay.

“Okay.” Hanji walked back in, her arms filled with bandages, swabs, medicine, anything they had hoarded. “Eren, go get some water and a rag. Things probably aren’t gonna be so pleasant for her, so just keep her cool with the water got it?”

“Yeah, got it.” Eren stood up to run downstairs, but he felt a tug on his hand. Mikasa’s eyes were on him, her hand still holding onto his. “Hey,” he said, putting his other hand over hers. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise.”

That seemed to help; she let her hand drop from his, her eyes looking down to what Hanji and Levi were doing.

She came back from the dead. She came back to them. There was no way they were letting her go again.

* * *

 

It wasn’t the sunlight shining through the window that woke him up, nor was it the aching in his knees from kneeling for so long, or his back hurting from being hunched over, no, it was a soft touch brushing through his hair. Eren lifted his head off his arms on the bed, his eyes squinting through the brightness of the room.  He was still in Hanji’s room, still leaning over the bed, which meant…

His eyes snapped over to the bed. Mikasa was watching him, looking a bit more lively than last night but still laying down.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Eren tried not to yawn as he rubbed his eyes. It was a long night; trying to clean all her wounds, bind broken bones, and keep her stable through the whole thing.

“Better,” she said.

“Good.” Eren couldn’t hold off a smile. She really was going to be okay. Everything was right again. He felt whole again.

“Get up…off the floor,” she breathed, slowly moving her body over on the bed. “You’ve…been there all…night.”

Eren stretched his arms over his head. “I don’t think so. You’re still hurt. I’m not-” One look from her was enough though. With a shake of his head, Eren carefully laid down on his side on the bed. Okay, that was much better than the floor and he could feel Mikasa’s warm body near him, though he was careful not to not touch her.

“I think Hanji got a better bed than all of us,” Eren sighed, his head rolling on her pillow as he looked over at her.

Mikasa chuckled softly as she reached her hand over to the scarf around his neck. “You found it.”

“Of course I did. I wasn’t just gonna leave it there.” Doing his best not to hit her, Eren pulled the scarf off his neck and draped it back over her. “It really does look better on you.” His hand drifted over her face. He was about to pull away but the way she leaned into his touch made his hand stay.

“I thought I was never gonna see you again,” he murmured. “I thought I lost you.”

Mikasa closed her eyes, a smile on her lips as she shook her head. “Never.” Her eyes met his once more. “I came back…for you. I couldn’t…I couldn’t…”

“It’s okay. You came back.” Eren tried his best to be soothing but he wasn’t the best person for the job. He placed his hands on her face, cradling her the best he could.

She took a shake breath, the beating to her ribs clearly was effecting her. “I couldn’t…bear being away…from you.”

“I know the feeling.” Eren was aware of how close he was to her on the small bed, the way he felt her breath against his face, his lips. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing, but when he felt his lips press up against hers it didn’t matter anymore. He was gentle as her lips moved against his, one of her hands reaching up to his arm. Chills went down his spine, his heartbeat pounded in his ears. God, he was never letting her out of his sight again.

He broke away, not wanting her to get out of breath and hurt herself. He placed his forehead against hers. “If Levi thought you gave him hell when he tried to separate us, he has no idea what’s coming for him from me.” He paused before taking a deep breath.  “Mikasa, I-”

Mikasa chuckled, her eyes closing again. “I know, Eren…I know.”

Eren nodded, his head resting against hers on the pillow as his eyes fluttered shut. 

He was never going to let her forget it.

****


	25. Drunken Lullabies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunken Lullabies
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern AU, at a college party  
> Rating: T (for drinking and language)  
> Words: 4794

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from an anon for drunk!Eren. They thought he would be a handful drunk and that he would be. Good thing at least Mikasa can put up with his shenanigans. Also the title is the title of a fabulous Flogging Molly song.

Mikasa liked to spend her nights making sure she got all her reading done, working on her essays, maybe getting a head in her other homework to save herself later. What she didn’t like was having to keep pushing Eren’s face out of hers every six seconds.

“Oh, come on, Mikasa, please come with us.”

There was her hand against his cheek one more time, pushing him out of her face. “Eren, I have homework to do. I’m not going out in the middle of the week for a party.”

“It’s not just any day. It’s St. Patrick’s Day.” There he was leaning back into her. She reached to push him once more, but he caught her wrist in his hand. “I’m not letting you sit up here alone in your room.”

“You say that like she doesn’t want to sit up in her room.” Armin was leaning up against the wall, looking amused like always and very green in his T-shirt.

Eren was also wearing his green shirt, it had some saying on it but Mikasa could only notice how it made his eyes glisten even more than normal. He didn’t let go of her, his lower lip popping out just a little bit. “Please, it’ll be no fun without you.”

He knew she couldn’t say no to him, even if she did multiple times already; she always gave in and he knew it.

“Fine,” Mikasa sighed, pulling her hand away from him causing Eren to raise his arms in victory. “But,” she slapped him in the chest. “If you think I’m dragging your drunk ass back to your dorm _again_ , you have another thing coming.”

Eren didn’t seem to care, he was all smiles. He grabbed her face with both his hands and leaned in to press his lips against her forehead. “You’re the best, Mikasa.” He got up from his seat, thankfully, before he saw the way she knew her cheeks flushed. She could still feel the warm hands she knew so well on her face, the way his lips lingered on her skin.

“We’ll wait outside, go put on something green!” Eren opened the door and stepped outside, still with that boyish grin he’s had for as long as she’s known him.

She rolled her eyes looking over at Armin who was still standing there.

“You could’ve said no, you know,” he said.

Mikasa shrugged. “Yeah but if I don’t go whose gonna drag him home. You know what a lightweight he is.”

“Those pretty eyes help don’t they.” Armin leaned forward and batted his eyes. Mikasa reached back onto her bed to grab the first thing, which happened to be a pillow, and tossed it at his head.

Armin ducked but the pillow still caught him in the chest. “Don’t worry,” he chuckled. “I’m pretty sure Eren’s too dense to even notice how much you blush around him.”

Mikasa paused, looking back over at her computer screen.

“Why do you put yourself through this? You know how he gets when he’s drunk.”

“Armin. Please don’t.”

She heard him sigh. It was a conversation they had more than once; more like every time they went out.

“You know I just worry about you. About the both of you for that matter. I’ll be outside with that goon.” He opened the door giving her a smile. “Take your time. I’ll try to make sure he doesn’t pound on your door impatiently.”

Mikasa ran her fingers through her hair before turning to her closet. Green, green. What did she have that was green? She tried to focus on just finding something in her closet but it wasn’t any good. She knew Armin was right, he always was. She knew how Eren got when he drank all too well; it always went the same way. Eren got drunk and suddenly Mikasa was the only girl in the room. All he wanted to do was be with her, hug her, dance with her, touch her face, her hair, her back. He never tried anything inappropriate with her; he just seemed to want to be with her. Not that he didn’t already spend every day with her to begin with but this was different, this was like…

She swallowed as she pulled out a green dress to look at.

It was almost like he felt the same way that she felt about him.

Mikasa pulled out a pair of leggings since March wasn’t exactly the warmest month and started to get changed.

Every morning was still the same. She’d bring him back to his dorm room that he shared with Armin, get him in bed, and then he’d beg her to stay with him. She always did. She’d nurse his hangover in the morning (which generally involved quite a bit of rubbing his back as he hurled up the contents of his stomach from the past few days) and he’d mumble his thanks over and over, how much he was glad she was here. When it was over, it was back to Mikasa the girl he grew up with, the girl next door, his best friend, nothing more.

Mikasa rubbed out some of the wrinkles on her dress before walking out of the room. She wasn’t too surprised to see Eren having Armin in a headlock rubbing his hair fiercely. “Whose ready for green beer?” she asked rather unenthusiastically but it got their attention well enough.

Both the boys looked up at her, Armin letting out a low whistle when he got out of Eren’s grip. “Look at you.”

Eren reached up and shoved the back of Armin’s head causing him to move forward down the hall and out the door. They were laughing clearly ready for the fun of the party, but Mikasa wasn’t really paying too much attention to what they were saying as they left the building. She’d glance over at them but Eren wasn’t looking much over at her. She wondered if Armin was right. If all this was only making it harder to move on from the boy she’d loved for much longer than she should but she couldn’t bear to let him go. She started to hear the loud music from up the street, the bass pounding, people laughing, talking, shrieking with drunken joy; she couldn’t hear the boys talking anymore it had gotten so loud.

She couldn’t let him get hurt, do something stupid. She needed to be here to keep him safe and she couldn’t bear the thought of him acting the way he did with any given girl.

Judging by the people all over the porch, and in the front yard, and in the back yard this was the place.

“Hey! You guys made it!” Reiner’s booming voice was the only thing that was ever loud enough to cut through the party atmosphere. He was walking down the front steps, drink in hand.

This was his place wasn’t it. Well, the one he shared with Bertholdt, Annie and a few others who were never around except for the parties. Mikasa didn’t recognize it with all the people hanging all over it.

“C’mon, get inside and get some drinks!” he gestured eagerly for them. 

Eren didn’t need to be told twice. He draped his arms around both Mikasa and Armin. “I believe that’s my cue.” He gave them a squeeze before heading up the stairs with Reiner and disappearing into the house.

“I’m pretty sure even I could use a drink after that history exam I had to take this morning.” Armin was already starting up the stairs, looking back at her.

Mikasa sighed but followed him anyway. This wasn’t exactly her scene, drunk people bumping into her as she tried to get in the house, the loud music, people yelling over it to talk, people everywhere for that matter. She lost Armin rather quickly as she tried to maneuver to a place that was a little less crowded. There, the back porch didn’t look so bad.

She saw Annie sitting on the kitchen counter as she walked by, Bertholdt standing next to her as they talked. He waved to Mikasa as she reached in to grab a beer off the counter and she waved back before moving out the open back door. She liked them of course, but even she’d need something to drink if she was gonna talk to everyone tonight.

It was cooler outside, even after just a few minutes inside with all those bodies if was nice to be able to breathe again. She popped the top on the can and took a sip of the stale flavored drink as she leaned over on the balcony.

“Well, hello, sunshine, isn’t it nice to see your face around here.”

Mikasa looked up to see Ymir leaned backwards against the railing looking down at her. Historia was next to her holding her drink with both hands.

“That’s me,” Mikasa straightened herself up. “About as sunny as you are.”

“So what’s new aside from standing here alone waiting for Jaeger to so drunk that he can’t walk and then taking him home because really that’s not new at all.”

Mikasa shrugged, taking another sip from her drink. “Just waiting for the first beer to spill on me actually. I’m betting its Reiner this time, he already looked mighty drunk to me.”

Historia rolled her eyes with a small smile, her body leaning into Ymir as they stood on the porch. “Or Jean. You know how fumbly he gets around you. It’s a wonder he plays football.”

“Nope. I’m betting on Eren. He’s always the first one. Oh, speak of the devil and he shall appear.” Ymir raised her cup with a slight tilt.

Mikasa turned her head to see Eren standing behind her. He had a cup in his hand but he seemed to be okay, goofy smile none goofier than normal.

“You would know wouldn’t you.” Eren brought the cup to his lips, drinking down a good amount of what was in there and Mikasa knew exactly what was in there. She wasn’t even sure he could take a few beers let alone the whiskey and coke he insisted on drinking.

Ymir lifted her wrist to look at a watch that wasn’t there. “Huh, here for five minutes? Shouldn’t you be completely wasted right now?”

Mikasa rolled her eyes as she leaned up against the railing again but she couldn’t hold back an amused laugh. It was very typical of Eren and Ymir’s relationship, especially when drinking was involved. Mikasa was pretty sure they could just go back and forth until Ymir got the last say like she always did. Mikasa took another sip of her drink as she watched them. Histora met her eyes, trying to bite back a laugh as well.

“You’re a lucky lady, Ymir.” Eren gestured to Historia with his cup, some liquid splashing out. “I don’t know how Historia puts up with your mouth.”

“I don’t know how Mikasa puts up with any part of you and she doesn’t even get the benefits of being your girlfriend.”

Mikasa choked on her drink as she felt heat rushing to her face. Did Ymir really have to say it like that? Mikasa was nowhere near drunk enough for this.

Ymir’s lips pulled into a smirk. Mikasa knew that look, here came the final words. “All she gets is making sure you don’t choke on your own vomit in the night. Wonder how much longer she’s gonna put up with your dumbass. If I was her-”   

Mikasa practically had to drop her drink to grab onto Eren’s arm to hold him back as he moved towards Ymir, not looking to please at all with her words and her smug grin. “Okay it hasn’t even been an hour. Let’s not start a fight just yet.”

Ymir must have taken that as her cue to leave for when Mikasa looked back to them both her and Historia were walking away. She placed her hand on Eren’s chest to make sure he wasn’t about to jerk out of her grip and go after them. His face was still angry, staring at them as they disappeared into the party but his cheeks were red now. Guess that whiskey was getting to him.

Eren tipped the cup to his lips, drinking whatever was left. “I’m going for more,” he grunted before walking away, without a glance towards her.

Mikasa watched him until she couldn’t see his head any more through the crowd. With a sigh she turned back to the railing, leaning over before drinking down the rest of her beer and placing the can on the rail. Ymir wasn’t wrong; she always took care of him like a girlfriend would with nothing in return. Well, that wasn’t always true, seeing Eren smile was always worth it.

She propped her hand up on her chin as she looked out over the backyard. She recognized a few people from classes, from other parties. She spotted Armin drinking a beer and talking to Connie and Sasha. Armin used to be the quiet one, always sticking by her or Eren through middle school and high school, but Armin could hold his own just fine now which was more than she could say for herself.

She looked back towards the house and there was no sign of Eren coming back out. He probably was downing his drink somewhere in there which meant he was about to become his silly, sloppy, tipsy self. She shook her head with a small laugh. He was always so high strung growing up, she liked to see him so relaxed; as long as she was there to make sure he didn’t get into any trouble of course and she was always there.

“I think you need another drink.”

Mikasa looked up to see Jean holding out a wine cooler for her. He was holding one of his own, smiling over at her. “When don’t I at parties?” She took the drink from his hands and twisted the cap off. “Thanks.”

Jean waved her off, leaning against the railing with her. “How’s the party going for you?”

She knew he was just trying to make small talk but she couldn’t help but just give him a look as she took a sip from her drink.

He shook his head. “So the usual then, waiting for that dumb ass to make a scene and taking him home. Don’t you think you’d like to have a little bit of fun every now and then instead of playing baby sitter?” His tone was lighthearted, but she knew that face he was making at her; she saw it one too many times and not just from him. It had been how long now and she already had her friends ragging on her over how she chose to spend her parties. Did anyone know how to mind their own business?

“Hey now, who says I don’t enjoy dragging drunk boys back to bed isn’t a good time?”

Jean snorted, sipping down some more of his drink. “I do, because no one should get treated the way he treats you.”

Mikasa looked down at the bushes in front of her. Granted not minding their own business generally meant they were right. “Jean, do-”

He didn’t look like he was backing down this time. “No, don’t tell me that it’s not like that, that it’s fine, that if you don’t know one will, that he needs you, because all that is bull. You deserve better than that. Better than being his tag along when he’s too drunk to think for himself.” Jean sighed, looking away from her. “He’s a big boy. He needs to learn to get out his own messes.”

It wasn’t that easy, she wanted to tell him but two hands fell firmly on her hips, pulling her up from the railing. If the hands hadn’t been so familiar, the body she was being pulled into so warm she would have hit the owner over the head with her bottle.

“Meeeekasa,” Eren drawled, his warm breath hitting her ear and her nose for that matter. He must’ve had more than just one more drink. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her in even close. “Meeekasa. Mimi.” He snorted with laughter. “Mimi.”

She slapped the back of her hand against his shoulder at that nickname he insisted she have when he couldn’t think straight. “Hello, Eren. I take it your partying is going well?”

He nodded, rubbing his face against her hair, his own hair tickling her neck.  She tried to bite back a laugh, to not encourage him but it was almost impossible not to when he was like this. She felt Jean’s eyes staring at them. Eren rubbed his nose in her hair now trying to tickle her apparently. It was working, as well as sending chills down her spine.

He pulled his arms around her more in what she thought was maybe him trying to give her a hug but she couldn’t exactly be sure with him. “Hey, Mika?” Eren was still nudging her with his head.

“Okay, okay what is it?” Mikasa tried to turn around to look at him, but he was holding onto her too tight. She knew she shouldn’t let him act this way with her; they were friends since they were nine years old, some boundaries had to stay intact, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it; she could never resist him. She at least managed to turn her head to look at him.

It wasn’t the best idea.

His eyes were locked on hers, his warm, though alcohol tinted, breath on her face. Mikasa was finding it hard to breath herself. Eren’s eyes looked over at Jean, as if he was just now seeing the guy standing across from them, and then back to Mikasa. “Is this guy bothering you? Cause ya know…” he scrunched up his fingers on her stomach causing ticklish sensations to flood her body; Mikasa couldn’t hold back her laughter now as she tried to pry his hands away. “I could get ‘im outta here for you.”

She knew what was coming next. Eren was not only silly and touchy when he was drunk, he was also overly confident and that generally led to at least one black eye or bloody nose. When he picked fights with Jean it was normally a little more than one wound and the way she could see tension snapping through Jean’s body, it was likely that would happen and quickly if Eren didn’t run his wasted mouth.

“I think you should stick to one drink before you start picking fights with sober people.”

Eren reached up to stroke his chin in thought, his eyes drifting up. “Nah, that’s no fun.”

“Actually I think it’s you that’s bothering her.” Jean’s drink lay on the railing as he crossed his arms against his chest. “So why don’t you take your own advice and get outta here.”

“Well, I actually like it here. Mika’s my favorite, don’t you know that?” His arm was back around her shoulders, keeping her close to his warm body. She knew he was drunk and was just spouting words, but she couldn’t stop her heart from skipping a beat at them. “Of course ya do. She’s always with me right?”

Mikasa thought she saw a vein pop somewhere on Jean’s forehead. As if sober Eren didn’t know how to piss off Jean enough, let alone when he was drunk. “Okay, Eren. I think it’s time to go somewhere else.” She turned to face him, pressing her hands against his chest to get him to move but he wasn’t budging.

Eren didn’t bother to look down at her, he just kept staring at Jean with that shit eating grin of his. “Nah, I. Like it. Right. Here.”

That was all it took. Jean started to lunge across the porch for Eren but two hands stopped him before he could get close enough.

“Armin!” Eren cheered, clapping his hands over Mikasa’s head. “Howya doin’, buddy!”

Armin said something to Jean, but Mikasa wasn’t entirely sure what it was. He still didn’t look very happy but he stopped coming at them. Armin turned around with a grin. “Hey! Look at you already getting into fights. How many have you had?”

Eren looked thoughtful again. “Possibly three. Probably four.”

“That sounds about right.” Armin shook his head but Mikasa could tell he was still amused; it was hard not to be when Eren had that big goofy smile on. “But how about not antagonizing your friends.”

Eren lifted his finger, and Mikasa knew what was gonna come out of his mouth before he even said it. “But he started it.”

There went Jean’s vein popping again. “Are you fucking kidding me? I wasn’t doing anything but having a drink and nice conversation and just like always you have to shove your way into everything but it doesn’t matter cause you’re wasted and you get to run your hands all over her and call her your little drunk pet names. God knows how she puts up with being treated like she’s only worth a damn to you when you’re drunk but I’m tired of seeing it.”

Something flashed in Eren’s eyes, his jaw clenching. He stepped in front of Mikasa so he was in arm’s reach of Jean. “And just what do ya plan on doing about it? Huh? Cause far as I know, I came here with her, and I’ll still be leavin’ here with her.”

She couldn’t have stopped it even if she had tried; even Armin who was closer couldn’t jump in before Jean’s fist came in contact with Eren’s jaw. The hit almost knocked him over, making him stagger backwards; Mikasa could see the blood dripping from his newly split lip. Eren didn’t hesitate though, he raised his arm back with every intention to hit Jean in the face but Mikasa grabbed a hold of his arm instead.

“Enough, Eren.”

His eyes were still staring at Jean. “Mikasa.”

“Enough. We’re leaving.”

She kept a hold on him, though a bit gentler this time to calm him down. She waited for him to turn around, letting her know he calmed down a little. He still looked angry when he did; pursed lips replacing the smile from earlier, blood dripping down onto his shirt. Mikasa gave a short wave to Armin who was still standing by Jean, not exactly looking surprised. Eren grumbled something but Mikasa couldn’t hear him, she was already trying to get through the crowds of people who had come to stare. She felt him staggering as she pulled him through the house, her name being called loosely on his lips but all she wanted to do was leave. By the time she hit fresh air again on the front steps, Eren was still by her side.

He didn’t say anything as they made the short walk back up to campus and she didn’t offer any words. She hated when he got like that. She hated herself for letting him act like that in the first place but most of all, she hated that Jean was right. She only let him act like that with her because it was the only time she felt like Eren felt the same way she did about him. She kept her hand on his arm to make sure he didn’t trip as they walked. He seemed to be walking okay; at least she didn’t have to carry him this time.

No one was in the lobby when she opened the door to their dorm building, thankfully since she could see Eren still dripping blood, his hand trying to cover some of it up. By the time they reached his dorm room, he had both hands covering his mouth and Mikasa could see a bruise starting to form on his jaw. She pulled out the keycard to their room and ushered him inside.

“Get over the bathroom sink,” she ordered, pulling out the first aid kit from under his bed. Eren did as he was told without a word. Mikasa followed in and ran a small towel under the water before carefully cleaning the blood off his face. Mikasa could feel his eyes watching her as she did, wincing slightly if she got to close to his cuts. It looked like its stopped bleeding for now at least.

“Wash your hands and come sit down, okay?” She noticed her voice got softer again, less irritated and angry. It was hard to stay mad at him.

She moved back to Armin’s small fridge and pulled out the tray of ice. She dumped some in another towel she had grabbed from the bathroom and made a little ice pack. When she turned around Eren was sitting on his bed; he shed his blood splattered shirt and was rubbing his bruised jaw, a nice deep purple mark already starting to set in. She sat down next to him and gently hit his hand away; she didn’t miss the hiss from his mouth as she placed the ice back on him.

“Why do you do this to yourself?” she kept it on his face, applying just a little bit of pressure.

Eren snorted. “If you recall, I didn’t punch myself in the face.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” She rolled her eyes, lifting his hand up to hold onto the ice as she went to check on his mouth. Her eyes flickered up. “I mean let yourself get so drunk that you act the way you do. You know your limit and you never listen to it.”

He looked away from her, his cheeks turning red. “You mean the way I act towards you?”   

Mikasa froze. She was always under the impression he never remembered how he acted with her. She could feel her cheeks heating up; which probably meant he remembered how she would go along with it.

Eren sighed, his shoulders sagging. “I didn’t mean to when we first started going to parties. I had no idea I could barely handle a drink, ironically enough given my name but then I liked it, you know, the way you took care of me after. I never wanted you to leave.” He rubbed his hand against his forehead.

Mikasa could see him swaying in his spot, clearly still a little tipsy from all that whiskey. She reached her arms around his shoulders to keep him steady, his head rolling into hers.

“And I realized I could act the way I wanted to with you, just being around you, have your soft hands on mine, while I was drinking and you’d think…” His voice changed to a slightly higher pitch. “‘Oh, that, Eren’s he’s just drunk again’ cause I was afraid you wouldn’t want me around you like that every day.”

Mikasa watched his eyes. His words were slurring together a little bit, but she knew that look; he was being honest with her.

“I always meant what I said, how I acted. I just wish I was brave enough to tell you that I loved you when I wasn’t drunk.”

His head was starting to fall against hers, his eyes drooping but Mikasa couldn’t help the warmth that spread through her body. “Eren?”

“Hmm?” his eyes snapped open to look at her.

“Why don’t you try and hold back the alcohol at parties and just tell me how you really feel? Because chances are I’d tell you I love you too.”

She saw his face flush, a smile pulling at his lips as his head fell onto hers. “I’d like that.”

Mikasa leaned forward to press her lips against his forehead. Eren always was a handful, but she’d never have him any other way. “Go on get into bed. I’ll grab you some water so you don’t have a colossal hangover in the morning.”

He nodded against her before carefully crawling backwards into his bed. He laid his head on his pillow, his ice pack still against his cheek. Despite his longer hair, his more developed arms and chest, he still looked like that nine year old sick in bed.

She headed towards the bathroom her eyes on the floor trying to see if she could find some of the boy’s pajamas she could wear. Ah, there were some pants; the way they were crumpled up probably Eren’s.

“Mimi?”

Mikasa turned her head back to the bed, seeing that shit eating grin back on his face, his eyes half lidded but full of amusement. “Yes?”

“You aren’t gonna leave are you?”

She shook her head. “Never.”


	26. Kiss on the Stomach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 4th - Kiss on The...
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series in a world where they live on a happy little farm somewhere. Let me dream.  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 1754

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its fluff week, so expect the fluffiest fluff you can imagine because my time has come. This one I’ve been wanting to write for a while because I just feel like Eren would be the very doting expectant father so I saw this prompt and had to write it ;-;

Mikasa rolled on her side for what seemed like the fiftieth time this night. Nope. Still wasn’t comfortable, just like the last time she tried it. With a huff she closed her eyes, hoping sleep would just come already but her back ached, her feet throbbed, her arms were asleep from all the funny angles she was putting them in.

Her eyes opened again, looking out into the dark room; the moon was shining through the small window telling her that it was still late in the night and if getting comfortable wasn’t hard enough, she wasn’t the only one wide awake in the house. She placed a hand on her swollen stomach where she could feel every twist and kick the little one decided to make. Repetitively.

Mikasa rubbed her hand over her stomach. “You aren’t helping, you know,” she said softly, still tenderly despite her exhaustion. All she got was a kick in response. “You’re your father’s child alright.” Mikasa rolled her eyes but there was a smile on her face; it was hard to be angry when she’d never been happier.

She stretched her hands over her head, a yawn pulling at her mouth. She might as well just get up now and get some work done, no use wasting good hours of the day. Mikasa was about to swing her legs over the side of bed and push herself up when she felt a warm presence behind her. Arms wrapped around her chest and a nose nuzzled into the back of her head as Eren pulled her into him.

“If you think,” he voice was clear, no hint of previously being asleep. “You’re gonna get out of bed at this hour, I’ll tie you to the bed myself.”

“Says you,” she said, but made no effort to move away from his warm body against hers. “You can fall asleep just fine.”

Mikasa could feel him laughing lightly against her neck. “Our bed isn’t that big, I feel it every time you move. Trust me, I wasn’t asleep.”

She carefully rolled over on her back to look at him, Eren’s arms shifting with her while he propped his head up with one of his arms.

“What seems to be the matter tonight?”

“I just can’t get comfortable,” she shrugged.

“I could tell.”

Mikasa wanted to shoot him a glare, and push him off the bed for that matter, but one look at that boyish grin on his lips and her face softened. After all those years of never seeing that smile, seeing it now melted her heart. He could get her to do anything with that smile of his, not that she ever intended on letting him know that.

His hand moved onto her stomach and gently rubbed his fingers against her, sending warm sensations through her body. The steady rhythm of his motions, the way his fingers drew circles against the thin material of her nightgown were already putting her at ease.

“So, have you thought of any names?” Eren was trying to hold back a yawn as he spoke. It was pretty clear he was just thinking of something to distract her, and that alone was sweet enough.

“I was thinking about one.” Mikasa bit her lip as she looked down to her stomach.

“And…” Eren lifted his hand gesturing for her to continue before gently placing it back down on her.

She hesitated. It’s not like she didn’t want to tell her husband what she wanted to name their first child, but this one was different; she wasn’t sure if Eren would like it.

“Well, I just thought if it was a girl…”

“Yes?” He tapped on her stomach a couple times, which only got him a kick where his fingers where. He chuckled, giving that spot a rub. “See, I’m not the only one who wants to know so out with it, Mikasa.”

She rolled her eyes at him, but he was still staring at her; he wasn’t giving up, not that Eren ever did. “If it’s a girl I thought we could name her Carla.” She paused, looking over at him. “After your mom. It just seemed right.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, his face softening as he looked at her. He leaned in to press his lips against hers before moving back to his spot close to her. “I think she’d like that. I think she’d like this in general. She was always keeping us together, for good reasons of course,” he said, giving Mikasa’s stomach a tap. Though this time the kick was so hard she gasped at the sudden pain.

Oh yeah, its father’s child is right. Eren was watching her carefully, his eyebrows scrunched together but she waved him off. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t felt before but Eren seemed to have decided to go back to his soothing rubbing motions instead.

“I think she would’ve too,” Mikasa said, continuing with their conversation, her body relaxing once more.  “She would have been a good grandmother.”

Eren gave her a sleepy smile. “What about your parents, do you think they’d be happy?”

“Of course, they would. I married the doctor’s son.” Mikasa gave him a nudge causing him to laugh lightly but it reminded her of something. She didn’t like to think of that day, the last day she saw them, but something jumped out in her mind. “My mom told me I’d have kids one day...and my dad-” Mikasa clasped one of her hands over her mouth as laughter shook her body; the little one took the opportunity to do some summersaults as she laughed.

Eren arched an eyebrow at her. “Has insomnia finally gotten to you?”

“No,” she said, trying to regain control of her body and hold back her laughter. “I just remembered asking my dad where babies came from and the utterly horrified look on his face.”

“I’m sure he’ll be happy to know you figured that one out on your own,” he snorted.

“I hope you know you’ll be the one with the horrified look on your face one day.”

“Oh God, I can do without thinking out that for a long, a very long time.”

With a small laugh, Mikasa leaned her head into Eren’s chest, his hand still making soothing circles on her stomach. Between his repetitive motions, and his warm body pulled close to hers, she couldn’t hold back the yawn that pulled at her lips. All she wanted to do was just go to sleep but judging by the flipping sensations in her stomach, she was the only one who did.

“If it’s a boy,” Eren said; he must have felt the strong motions under his hand bringing him back to their earlier conversation. “I was thinking Nicholas. I read it in a book last time we visited Armin. It means ‘People of Victory’ and I thought it was appropriate.”

Mikasa looked up at him to see him watching her, one of his hands playing absentmindedly with some of her hair.

“What?” he asked, but she saw his cheeks turning red. This was still new to them, this calm and peaceful life they had to themselves now; they had really been out of the war, out of the military for a few years. It had all happened so fast, them leaving the military and the walls, finding their home, Eren asking her to marry him, Mikasa finding out she was pregnant, their small wedding, and picking out a name for their baby. She never thought she’d ever be so lucky.

“I like it.” She couldn’t help the smile that covered her face. “It’s very fitting.” Another yawn pulled at her mouth and she could feel her eyes getting heavy.

“Why don’t you try to go back to sleep.” Eren propped his head back up with his hand as he looked down at her.

“I can’t.” Mikasa tapped her stomach. “I may be tired but that one is not.”

Eren looked like he was contemplating something, causing Mikasa to open her mouth to ask him what it was but he was already sliding down the bed, both his hands now resting on her stomach. He carefully laid his head down between his hands before they began to move lightly against her sides.

“Eren,” she chuckled as she looked down at him, the side of his face pressed up against her belly. “What are you-”

His words cut her off before she could finish. “Hey, buddy.” Eren tapped on her stomach and Mikasa felt a kick in response. “I know you just wanna stay up with us, but mama and daddy are very tired tonight.”

She reached a hand down to run her fingers through his shaggy brown hair, a smile pulling at her lips.

“So why don’t you settle down for a little bit, okay? You’ll be able to keep us up all night real soon.”

Mikasa felt the distinct outline of a hand press up against the portion of her stomach where Eren’s face was. He must have felt it too judging by the small laugh he gave.

“Yeah, I’m excited too but for now, try and go easy on your mama and let her get some sleep.” He lifted his head and gently pulled up her nightgown till the skin of her stomach was showing. Eren leaned his head back down and pressed his lips against her bare skin, not only sending goosebumps across her body, but also the sweet sense of peace throughout her as the baby settled down.

“Goodnight, kid,” he murmured against her before pulling her dress back down and moving back up to his pillow.

Mikasa rolled onto her side, feeling like that’s the way she wanted to try and sleep now. It seemed like a good choice since Eren draped one of his arms over her, his hand placed on her stomach once more causing a smile on her lips. She loved every bit of it, every bit of their simple life. It was all she wanted with him for a very long time but most of all, Eren was happy. He wanted this too, to have a family with her. It was enough to always make her smile.

He pulled her close to him, his head resting near hers. “Goodnight,” he breathed against her neck, his hand resuming its steady rhythm before to lull her and the baby to sleep.

It was working.

“Goodnight,” she said, before finding sleep for the first time that night.


	27. Babies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 5th - Babies
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern Highschool AU  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 1986

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this idea randomly in the middle of Hallmark and I had to write it. I tried writing it from Carla's perspective for once so I hope it comes across okay. Also, Carla is my mother in this story. Some of the things she says/does my mom has said/done to me lol I don't know how my mom would feel that she was some of the inspiration for a fanfic but she lives in Florida so she doesn't have to know.

Carla opened the sliding glass door, hoping the warm spring breeze would take out some of the cold air left over in the house from winter. She took a deep breath smelling the fresh grass and flowers, hearing the birds, the crickets. It was nice to finally have some peace and sunshine after being cooped up in the house all winter long. She walked back to the dining room table where her iced tea was sitting, and her book waiting.

The house was relatively quiet for once; Grisha was at work until later tonight, and none of the kids seemed to have decided to come over after school leaving Carla alone with herself and her book. She cracked open to the page where she had last left off, taking a sip from her tea.

What she didn’t expect was the sudden sound of a baby crying in the next room over.

“Eren!” Mikasa’s voice shouted over the cries.

“What? I’m sorry! It was an accident!” Eren called back.

They must’ve come in when Carla wasn’t paying attention but it was very clear they were in the living room; not just from them yelling but the constant crying that refused to stop underneath the teenagers. Carla sighed putting her book down; so much for her quiet evening.

“Dropping the baby is more than just an accident! It remembers those kind of things!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry okay. I must not have put the straps in the carrier on right.”

“Here just let me see her. I’ll try to get her to stop crying.”

“I got her already, Mikasa. It’s fine.”

“Then how come she’s still crying.”

“It’s not that easy okay!”

Carla pushed herself to her feet and walked past the kitchen to the doorway of the living room. The sight wasn’t all that surprising. Eren was holding the baby lopsided in his arms trying to rock it but it wasn’t really doing all that much to stop the crying. Mikasa stood next to him, the small carrier at her feet; she stopped trying to take the baby from him, instead she just watched him with a tired look on her face.

Now had that been a real baby in her son’s arms Carla might have been a little more concerned, but dropping a plastic child and failing to keep it from crying all day long was only gonna get them a bad grade and not child protective services called. She actually was surprised when Eren came home with Mikasa, carrying the small and very loud doll yesterday; Carla didn’t even know schools still did that. Though judging by the frazzled and frantic looks on the young couple’s faces in front of her, she was glad they still did.

“Eren,” Carla called over the crying doll. “Hold her up against your chest.” Carla tried to motion what she meant with her hands so he would hold the baby’s stomach against him, her head near his shoulder.

He didn’t seem surprised to see her there, but he did listen to her. Carefully, she supposed so he wouldn’t drop the baby again, he maneuvered her in his hands, holding her the way Carla told him too. Eren rocked her for a moment and just like that the cry cut out.

“Oh thank God,” Mikasa sighed, turning to look over her shoulder. “Thank you, Aunt Carla.”

“Of course, sweetheart. Anything to help my granddaughter stop crying, you know.” She leaned against the doorframe, a smile pulling at her lips.

“Mom,” Eren grunted, still rocking the small doll as she watched a blush cross over his face.

Carla put her hand over her mouth to hide her laughter but judging by the way Eren was still staring at her, she wasn’t doing a very good job. Ah well, embarrassing her teenage son was all part of the job. Mikasa flopped down on the couch, her head rolling back onto one of the pillows.

“Long night?” Carla guessed by her tired eyes, and the yawn that filled her mouth.

Eren snorted. “I thought her parents were gonna murder us.”

“If you were trying to get it to stop crying like you just were I can’t blame them. The poor thing must’ve cried all night.”

He choose to ignore her and instead leaned down to put the baby back in the carrier, but the moment Eren pulled the doll away from him, she started crying again. Carla had to laugh at the defeated groan that fell from his mouth as he pulled the baby back up to him.

“Here,” she reached out over Mikasa’s head. “Let me see her.”

Carla apparently didn’t need to ask twice since Eren handed the crying doll right over, before falling onto the couch next to Mikasa. Carla looked down at the little thing in her arms; sure the cry was very fake, and it was made completely of plastic but it was a heavy little thing, with body parts that flopped like a real baby would. It really was like holding the real thing; no wonder those two were so tired. She cradled the head against her arm, her other arm supporting the rest of the body as she gently rocked the baby. The crying cut out very quickly.

Carla looked up from the baby to see two faces watching her. “What? I’ve had a lot of practice you know. I hope you write in your report that Nana Carla was a big help.”

“Oh my God, Mom.”

“Oh, stop being so dramatic,” she chuckled, still rocking the baby as to not have it start screaming again. “Come on, it’s not like it’s this isn’t a scene you aren’t gonna see again. I mean you are gonna give me grandchildren I assume.”

There were two horrified murmurings of both “Mom” and “Aunt Carla” as she watched them turn red and look anywhere but at her and each other. Carla waited a long time to be able to tease them like this, and it was pretty satisfying.

“Okay, okay,” she chuckled. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop.” They were only seventeen after all.

Mikasa yawned again, or maybe she was just trying to recover from her previous embarrassment, and leaned into Eren’s chest. His head leaned against her’s, his arm already around her and a contagious yawn pulling at his mouth. 

“Why don’t I make you something to eat? It might help perk you guys up. Is Armin coming over too?” Carla leaned over to hand Mikasa the baby, who still wasn’t crying, and judging by the way Mikasa held the doll right up to her chest, it wasn’t something they were gonna let happen again.

“Nah,” Eren yawned again, leaning forward enough to hit the remote for the TV on the coffee table. “He’s probably fairing no better than us with his partner.”

“Well, if he needs a day away from the kids, let him know he’s more than welcome here.”

Eren only rolled his eyes at her, his body leaning back against the couch while Mikasa rocked the baby next to him. With a smile and a shake of the head, Carla headed back to the kitchen to see what she could make them real fast. Mikasa was probably gonna stay for dinner, so nothing too big; just something so they didn’t pass out.

Carla pulled out some bread from the drawer and grabbed some deli meat and lettuce from the fridge; sandwiches would do just fine. She kept an ear out to see if the baby started crying again, but only the hum of the TV came from the room.

It was strange when they first brought the doll over here; after all, when wouldn’t it be strange to see her son carrying around a baby? Yet at the same time, it was very natural to see him and Mikasa and the little one between them.  Carla always knew it would end up this way and she told Grisha, and Mikasa’s parents countless times so she really didn’t understand why she was the only one who wasn’t surprised when she caught them making out on his bed one day. They were always drawn together, always inseparable, even as kids. She could easily see them coming home to visit, a little dark haired baby with Eren’s eyes and Mikasa’s nose.

Ah, of course, she thought as she placed the meat on the bread and the lettuce over that, there’s always time for that. She’d never want to rush _that_ of all things, but a mother could think about the day her son brought over grandchildren. 

Carla went to grab the mayonnaise but decided to go back to the living room first. “Mikasa, honey, do you want mayo or mustard? I always for-” The sight alone cut her sentence off.

Eren and Mikasa had taken to laying down on the couch together; Eren on his back and Mikasa curled up on her side, her head and arm on his chest. He had the baby laying in his chest, her head up against his chin and one hand on her back, the other one around Mikasa; both were completely asleep.

It was a sight she didn’t think any mother wouldn’t want to see; her heart was already melting as she leaned up against the doorway, a smile tugging at her lips. So what if it was a plastic baby and two high schoolers, Carla was more than willing to look past that and pretend.

She heard the front door open from the other room and she quickly ran out to see Grisha closing the door behind him. He smiled when he saw her, opening his mouth to say something but Carla cut him off, putting her finger to her lips.

“What is it?” he asked, arching an eyebrow but voice much lower than a normal tone.

“They’re asleep,” she said, gesturing for him to follow her.

He put down his jacket and briefcase in the hall while still giving her a weary look. “It’s three in the afternoon.”

Carla decided not to answer but led him back to the room where Mikasa and Eren were still asleep. She looked over to her husband expectantly but he looked much less enthused than she was. “Oh, come on,” she elbowed him lightly in the stomach. “Can’t you see it?”

“Yeah,” Grisha snorted, turning back into the kitchen. “All too well I’d add so I suggest stop letting her sleep over before her parents kill us.”

Carla followed him, her mouth open to object but he cut her off before she could.

“You know I love Mikasa too, and I’m glad they’re happy but,” he reached out to place his hands on her shoulder. “They’re kids, just let them be kids. No need to rush them; I’m sure they’ll get there eventually.”

“Alright, alright,” Carla waved him off. It’s not like she didn’t know that, but still. “It was nice to think about.”

Grisha shook his head with a chuckle as he stepped away into the kitchen. “And it will still be, years from now when they aren’t teenagers.”

A sudden cry cut through the house as the baby apparently woke up; it was followed by a collective groan from the parents for the week.

“And I’m guessing after this week it will be years and years from now.”

“Shh,” Carla waved her hand at him as he took a bite from one of the sandwiches she had abandoned earlier. She heard Mikasa trying to get the doll to be quiet from the other room; a mix of moaning and huffing. “Just don’t let her watch any videos on childbirth, we’ll be okay.”

“Carla, I’m pretty sure she knows what childbirth entails.”

She chose to ignore him again, grabbing the sandwich out of his hands and putting it back on the place. She was a mother. She was allowed to dream after all.


	28. Bubblebath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 6th - Bubblebath
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Sometime when Levi’s squad is still in a house together. You know I’ll milk that for all eternity.  
> Rating: T (For sexual situations and language)  
> Words: 2852

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally was gonna make it an AU but then I thought it would be cute for them to get some bubble bath in canon. Idk how in canon this would be lol but hey, bubble baths are always cute and with two teenagers not always innocent for long lol 
> 
> Sorry its been a few days! I was at Otakon all weekend and just got home ^^ I'll add a few a day to catch up a bit.

Eren stared at the box sitting in front of them on the table. It was still unopened, though Connie already tried to pry it open.

“We need to wait for Levi. God knows what knows what kinda mail we’d be getting,” Jean snorted from his chair.

“Maybe it’s something useful,” Sasha shrugged. “It has no return address though so it could be dangerous.”

Armin shook his head on the matter. “It probably has no return address because whoever sent it didn’t want the town to know who they were. I mean, it doesn’t even have a name for us, just the town.  My guess is it’s something to help us.”

“Then let’s just open it already.”

Jean kicked the leg of Connie’s chair nearly knocking him out of it. “Hanji went to go get Levi. Do you really want to clean this damn place for the fifth time this week?”

Eren looked over at Mikasa who was sitting quietly next to him in her chair. She was watching the others but not really saying all that much; she didn’t look upset, just content. He nudged her leg with his.

“What do you thinks in it?” he asked once her eyes met his.

The others were still talking over him but that was okay; he really didn’t care what they were saying anyway.

She shrugged but there was a smile pulling at her lips. “Hopefully something worth our time. Whoever sent it risked both themselves and us.”

“That’s not what I asked.” He gave her leg another nudge as he turned in his chair to face her, his hands brushing against her arm.

Mikasa rolled her eyes but made no effort to move away, smile still on her lips and Eren was having a hard time not grinning back at her. She was always beautiful but when she smiled her whole face lit up; he loved seeing her like that, especially when he was the only one who got to so often.

“I don’t know, Eren. Maybe a blanket.”

“A blanket?”

“Yeah, stop laughing.” She kicked her leg at him but not nearly hard enough to hurt. Eren merely placed his hands on her leg to stop her and decided not to let go. “Mine’s really itchy, okay, so a new one would be nice.”

He felt his lips pulling up into that grin he was trying to hold off as he looked up to meet her eyes. “You know mine’s just fine. I never mind shar-” Eren felt something hit his head, cutting him off. He looked down to see a crumbled up piece of paper that must have bounced off his head.

“Hey! What the hell was that for?” He looked up at the other faces at the table but once Armin’s blue eyes caught his, he knew who was behind it.

Armin just gave him that look; it was a mix of “Eren, knock it off” and amusement. He glanced over at the others next to him causing Eren to notice they became rather quiet and were watching him. He felt heat rise to his cheeks as he sat up straight in his chair, arms across his chest.

Armin tried to warn him that trying to keep his relationship with Mikasa quiet in a small house with seven other people was gonna be nearly impossible, though Eren chose not to acknowledge Armin’s comment about it mainly being because Eren was the opposite of subtle. Regardless, he wasn’t ready for Levi to find out Eren was sleeping with the best solider in their squad.

“Alright, you shits.” Levi stood in the doorway with Hanji standing nearby. “If this is an explosive of sorts thanks for your service and crap.”

Eren thought he had very good reasons for thinking that.

Levi pushed Jean and Connie’s chairs out of the way to get to the large box on the table, before held the crowbar up and easily pried the cover right off the crate. Eren tried to look over the top of the box as Levi tossed the cover away but it was a bit difficult considering everyone was also leaning in to get a look. He pulled out a note, his eyes scanning over the words. “It’s from Erwin,” he said as he tossed the paper aside. “He sent shit from the inner walls so have at it.” He seemed pretty uninterested as he stepped back to where Hanji was, and pushed her back against the wall to get her to stop moving towards the crate herself.

Connie was the first one in the box, digging around in its contents. Eren still couldn’t see what was in it, but he wasn’t about to risk getting his hand crushed for sticking it in there.

“Here, Sasha.” Connie pulled out something wrapped tightly in a thin cloth. He tossed it over to her, and she wasted no time unwrapping the small cake. She let out a deep sigh, with a big grin on her face. Well, at least someone was happy.

“There’s some bottles here too.” Connie tried to read the labels when Jean pulled them away from him.

“One’s some kinda cleaner.” Jean waved it over in Levi’s direction. “I take it this is for you, Sir.”

“Just leave it there,” Levi grunted.

“Oh, the Commander knows you too well.” Hanji nudged Levi with her elbow but he didn’t say another word on the matter.

“And the other is bubble bath.” Jean looked around the table. “Here you go, Jaeger.”

Eren caught the bottle, only so it wouldn’t break and have Levi test out that new cleaner on him. “What the hell am I going to do with this?”

“Get that grime off your body that’s what,” Levi said.

Great. Of all the things, just more ways to be clean. Thanks for nothing, Commander.

Eren vaguely paid attention to the rest of the items but they were fairly normal. There were more cakes which Connie promptly stuffed in his face making Jean keep digging through the box; a few notebooks to which both Armin and Hanji managed to get, some alcohol that Levi promptly snatched out of Jean’s hands, and a few nice sheets that weren’t exactly blankets but both Mikasa and Historia seemed fine with them.

“Alright, you’ve had your fun. Get to bed.” Levi had passed off the alcohol to Hanji and reached for his cleaner on the table. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits as they headed off upstairs but all Eren could do was look down at the bottle. Everyone else had gotten useful things, how’d he end up with this? What was he supposed to do with it? He didn’t want to waste it since Ewrin risked a lot to send them this stuff but still.

He heard Armin chuckling as they walked up the stairs. “What?”

“Nothing,” Armin said, but the look on his face said otherwise.

Eren felt a light hand on his shoulder.

“Goodnight, Eren, Armin.” Mikasa waved as she headed down the hall with Sasha and Historia to their room.

Eren watched her as she walked away, and he couldn’t for the life of him remember why it took him so long to see her standing right in front of him.

“You know.” Armin’s voice over his shoulder nearly made Eren jump out of his skin. “It’s not like you have to keep that bubble bath just for yourself.”

Eren glanced over; he wanted to ask Armin what he was talking about but Connie and Jean brushed by them, Armin following them to their room. Eren looked back to where Mikasa was closing the door behind her.

_Oh._

* * *

 

Eren tried to wait till everyone was asleep but aside from Connie snoring he could never tell if the others were actually asleep. He slipped out of his bed, careful not to let any of them hear the door creak open, and then click shut as he stepped out into the hallway. It was easier getting into the girl’s room; Sasha was always passed out and even if Historia was awake she minded her own business.

He saw Mikasa wrapped up on her bed, the sheet draped over her. “Hey,” he tried to whisper, not wanting to scare her.  “Mikasa.”

She rolled over, blinking up at him. A yawn pulled at her lips as she sat up in her bed, one hand rubbing at her eyes; just like she always woke up when they were kids.

“Come on, I have something for you.” Eren held out his hand and Mikasa took it without a question asked. He led her out of her room and down the hallway; there was an empty room they normally hid in, but he stopped short this time and opened a different door.

“The bathroom?” she asked, her eyebrow arched.

Eren waved her off as he shut the door behind them. He grabbed the matches he left on the small table by the bathtub and lit the lantern so they had some light in the room. He reached over and turned on the facet so that water started to pour into the tub.

“You want to take a bath?” She wasn’t being sarcastic with him; he knew when she was doing that. Instead, her face was a mix of surprise and confusion.

Eren nodded, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it aside. He reached out for the front of Mikasa’s shirt, tugging her into him. “I thought we could use that stuff I got today. Might as well get some use out of it.”

She placed her hands on his chest as he leaned in to brush his lips against hers. It had been a few months now, but he didn’t think he’d ever get tired of this, ever get tired of her. He reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, her bare skin brushing against his and sending chills down his spine.

Eren turned around to turn off the water before the tub got too full; he stuck his hand in just to make sure they weren’t about to burn themselves. He didn’t even have to turn back to get Mikasa, she was already at the side of the bathtub, the rest of her clothing on the floor. It took about all the strength he had not to just reach out and touch her, pull her into him, but instead he dropped the rest of his clothing as well, and slid right into the tub. The warm water covered his body before he gestured for Mikasa’s hand. He helped her keep her balance as she sat down in front of him but he couldn’t keep the sigh that fell from his lips when her body rested between his legs, her back against his chest, and her head rolling onto his shoulder. There was officially nothing more relaxing than this.

“I think this needs to happen more often.” Eren wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his lips against her neck.

Mikasa laughed as she reached over for the bottle on the table. “Okay, let’s just write to the Commander asking for more bubble bath of all things.” She popped out the cork as she tried to read the instructions, if there were any. “Do I just…pour it in?”

Eren placed his chin on her shoulder, eyeing the bottle. “I guess so.”

She shrugged and tipped the bottle, the sweet smelling liquid pouring right in. At first it didn’t seem like it did anything other than make the room smell good, but Mikasa started running her fingers through the water and bubbles started to form.

Eren reached out as more foamy bubbles started to cover the top of the water; there were just like soap bubbles but softer almost and thicker and it really did smell good. “Who would’ve thought we’d see such luxury.” He rubbed his hand covered in suds on Mikasa’s face causing her to splash him with the water.

He brushed his now soaking wet bangs out of his face, and wiped the soap off his face before looking back down at the laughing girl in front of him. He couldn’t even pretend to be angry at her when she looked so happy, not after all the pain he had seen her in. “You’re just lucky everyone is asleep.” Eren leaned back against the back of the tub, Mikasa falling against him.  He put his arms around her again, pulling her close to him.

It was hard to ever imagine his life without her, not when she had been with him for so long, always right by his side. He regularly wanted to go back and hit himself for the way he had treated her, what he had pushed her to do. It was his fault she risked her life every day and his fault he almost lost her in front of his eyes.

“Do you ever regret joining the military?” Eren felt Mikasa place her hands over his under the water, her head turning to look at him as he spoke.

“No.”

“That simple, huh?”

“Yes, that simple.”

Eren shook his head, but he felt a smile pulling at his lips. “Even though-”

“‘Even though’ nothing,” she said, cutting him off. Mikasa carefully flipped herself around in the tub so she was facing him, easily sliding down in his lap.

Eren’s breath caught in his throat as Mikasa faced him, her breath on his face as her eyes met his.

“I joined to be with you, and I’m with you. “ She reached up to place both her hands on the side of his face. “I’m happy.”

Eren placed his hands on her hips as she leaned in to kiss him. It didn’t erase the guilt he felt sometimes, he wasn’t sure what would, but it was a very good distraction. His hands tightened on her while he moved his mouth with hers, pulling her body in as close as he could, the water splashing lightly around them.

By the time his lips hit her jaw, trailing down her neck, her head rolling back as he did, Eren forgot where he was trying to go with that conversation. All he could feel was warmth filling the pit of his stomach that had nothing to do with the bubble bath and everything to do with Mikasa tightening her legs around his hips. He tasted the soap on her skin as he nipped at her collar bone. Her hands grasped onto his shoulders while his mouth moved lower to her chest. 

He didn’t necessarily plan on this when he decided to use up the bubble bath, but Mikasa was so irresistible he couldn’t keep his hands to himself the moment she kissed him. The water around them moved against his skin as he kissed the top of her chest; she was light in his arms, almost weightless as he lifted her up slightly to continue trailing downwards.

She let out a small cry, her hips rolling into his and only making his arousal even more known as he pressed back against her; a groan slipping through his own lips against her skin.

Eren mentally took back everything bad he said about Erwin and the bubble bath.

Until he heard the familiar creak of the door opening wide.

His head snapped up, pulling Mikasa close against his body to prevent whoever just walked in from seeing her bare chest. She had both her hands over her mouth, eyes wide, and Eren felt his heart sink. They were in deep shit.

“Oh for fucks sake.” Levi looked like he just woke up standing there in his pants. He didn’t look furious, but that never exactly meant anything with Levi.

“Uh, Sir, I can explain?” Eren tried. How he was gonna explain why they were taking a bath together in not the most innocent position he wasn’t quite sure but Levi held his hand up stopping Eren before he could start.

“I’m utterly thrilled you shits found a way of bathing.” Though Levi sure didn’t look or sound thrilled. “But how about not fucking around in the only bathroom in the house. Out.”

Eren grabbed the towels off the nearby shelf before he stood up, holding it up for Mikasa and then for himself. Not wanting to be in there a second longer than they had to be, Eren quickly grabbed their clothing and hurried out with Mikasa at his heels. Levi slammed the door behind them, leaving both of them soaking wet and in their towels.

“Do you want to just…?”

“Ah, yeah,” Mikasa said, leaning in to press her lips to his. “Goodnight, Eren. Thank you.” He handed her the clothing she had left before she walked down the opposite side of the hallway.

Eren had been tempted to grab the bottle off the table, for another time, one were Levi was far away, before he remembered they poured the whole thing in. Regardless, he was gonna be sure to thank his good Commander the next time he saw him.


	29. Under the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 7th - Under the Stars
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern Day/Reincarnation  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 2351

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used to never like reincarnation fics until I got into SnK. I feel like since they live such hard lives, and since chances are they won't get happy endings, a reincarnation setting just makes it so heartwarming that even in multiple lives they’d find each other again.

It wasn’t like Eren to not want to go to a party, but as he sat on the steps of the back porch, beer swirling in his cup, all he wanted to was go home. Armin forced him out, saying Eren spent way too much time in their dorm, but a rowdy party where his loud mouthed ex-girlfriend of a few weeks was bound to show up didn’t exactly seem relaxing to him. In fact, he was pretty sure he heard her voice blabbing away to her friends from inside; probably telling them what an ass he was for breaking up with her and how he better never show his face around her or them again. That’s fine; he was more than happy sitting out here.

Eren brought the cup to his lips, letting the liquid pour down his throat. At least it was a nice night; the salty air blew off the ocean, keeping him cool on his spot on the steps, and he even saw the stars over his head.

A few people fumbled down the stairs nearly tripping over Eren as they joined a small group of people standing underneath the hanging lanterns in the backyard. Armin was nowhere to be seen, which was unusual for the normally quiet boy, but whatever, as long as no one bothered him Eren was happy.

It was strange, he used to love this; staying out at people’s houses, drinking all night but now it just seemed so pointless. Maybe he was getting old, maybe it was his graduation date looming near. Whatever it was, it made him just want to sit in the comfort of his own dorm. It sure as hell made him realize he didn’t want to be with his ex, something she hadn’t taken so well.

Eren took another sip of his drink. He did feel a little better once she wasn’t texting and calling him all the time, begging him to come out, but it didn’t fix everything. Eren still felt like there was a void missing in his life; he still felt empty. He leaned his head back to look up at the sky. Maybe he was just thinking about it too much, maybe it was just stress but he couldn’t shake the feeling. It only grew stronger making him even more miserable.

With a sigh, he looked back to the yard overlooking the ocean. He didn’t recognize anyone standing around, but that wasn’t all that new; he didn’t even know whose house this was. Armin probably did, but Eren didn’t feel like going to find him just to ask. Eren finished off the last of his drink and pushed himself up to get a refill but something caught his eye.

It was a bright red scarf, blowing in the breeze.

The backyard wasn’t incredibly well lit, but the scarf almost looked like it was glowing under the lanterns. His eyes followed the fabric until he saw it wrapped around the neck of a girl he had never seen before; he looked up to see her dark eyes looking back at him.

Eren glanced behind him for a moment, to see if she was looking at someone else, but there was no one there. He looked back and her eyes were still on him, a small smile on her lips. Normally he would’ve never cared about some girl watching him from across the room. He always considered himself to be a pretty attractive guy and he got that from girls fairly regularly, but he was already on his feet walking over to her without a second thought.

She watched him as he got closer, her short black hair blowing with her scarf in the wind. She was about his height with a small frame and a soft face; he could tell she was of Asian descent, but he didn’t think about it too much, mainly because she was absolutely beautiful. She was only wearing a simple shirt and shorts but she was just…beautiful, he had no other word for her.

Eren stopped when he stood in front of her, clearly letting her know that he came over to talk to her. Of course, now that he was here, he had no idea what to say. He felt like he was in high school again the way his mind just blanked on him.

“Hi,” she said. Her voice was light but firm; she was eyeing him, but still was smiling.

“Hi,” Eren responded to her prompting. “I, uh, saw you standing her alone.” Okay, Eren, way to be smooth.

She nodded with a small laugh, her fingers reaching for one edge of her scarf. “Yeah, I got dragged here by my friend.”

“I know the feeling.” Eren felt his heart starting to pound in his ears, his hand starting to fiddle with his cup. He tipped the cup up to his lips only to remember there was nothing left. Well, it was too late now; he pretended to drink and hoped she didn’t notice.

“I really only agreed because I love the ocean. It was a nice excuse.”

Eren put his cup down on a chair nearby so he wouldn’t be tempted to make an ass out of himself with it. “So do I, and the city isn’t exactly overflowing with salt water.”

She laughed, her eyes not leaving his and he had to remind himself to talk.

“Do you want to go down by the water? Get away from the noise a little?” So it was a long shot, he didn’t even know her name but it really didn’t matter; the thought of going back to sitting on the porch was painful. It was as if everything he had been feeling before didn’t matter anymore; all he could think about was this girl in front of him and he had no idea why.

“Yeah,” she answered. “That sounds nice.”

Eren let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Okay, I think I saw some stairs over here.” He gestured towards the edge of the yard before he started to walk over. “I’m Eren, by the way.”

“I’m Mikasa,” she said as she started to walk next to him.

Mikasa. The name sent chills down his spine.

“It’s nice to meet you, Eren.” She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his.

His name on her lips sounded better than he ever heard it before.  He stepped aside and gestured for her to head down the stairs first with him following behind. “Do you live around here?” he asked.

Mikasa shook her head. “I’m from a few towns away. My friend lives around here though.”

Which would explain why he never saw her around before. She kicked off her sandals the moment she reached the sand, turning around to wait for him as he did the same. The sand was cool on his feet as he walked beside her. Despite their brief meeting, Eren couldn’t help but find this calm, easy. She was quiet but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all, it was peaceful.

“Are you cold?” he asked, gently picking up the end of her scarf.

Mikasa stopped, looking down at the fabric in his hands. She put her hand over his, touching the soft material along with him. “No. Well, not right now. I’ve had this for as long as I can remember.” She met his eyes with a smile. “It’s just a comfort to have with me.”

Eren brushed his fingers against hers, trying not to note how soft her skin was, before letting the scarf drop.

“It’s silly, I know,” she shrugged as they started to walk towards the water again.

“No, not at all.” The moon was shining on the water, causing the whole area to be illuminated. “It makes you feel safe, right? Nothing silly about that.”

The cool water hit his feet as a wave came up to meet them. Mikasa let out a small cry of surprise causing Eren to look at her.

She was covering her mouth, clearly embarrassed. “That was colder than I was expecting.”

He felt a grin pull at his lips. “Oh was it?” Eren didn’t even think about it, he just reached out for her arm and waist and pushed her farther into the water. He didn’t let go, of course, so she wouldn’t actually fall.

“Eren!” she cried, a mix of surprise and laughter.

He pulled her back, his shorts getting wet from her feet kicking against the waves, till her back was against his chest. Her head turned slightly, her face close to his.

“Ah, sorry,” Eren said, feeling heat rise up to his cheeks as he let her go.

“Sorry for trying to scare me or trying to throw me into the ocean?” Her eyes were bright and her smile was wide as she turned to slap him on the arm.

Eren chuckled. “Sorry for forgetting I just met you.

She started to walk backwards on the beach, her eyes never leaving his. “Or maybe we met in another life.”

“Do you believe in that kinda stuff?” He walked after her, the water swashing around his feet.

Mikasa shrugged but she was still smiling and Eren couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “I believe some strong friendships transcend lifetimes and I think…” She paused for a moment. “I think soul mates will always find each other.”

“That’s a nice thought. That someone could put up with me enough she finds me every lifetime.”

“Or,” Mikasa held up a finger to point at him. “You find her.”

“I’d rather think I haven’t met her yet rather than I screwed up and missed her. Which knowing me would be likely.”

Mikasa chuckled, lightly moving the water around with her feet. She looked up at the water spread out in front of them, the moonlight making her face glow. “I’ve always loved the ocean, ever since I was a kid. It’s just so…”

“Free?”

She looked back at him. “Yeah, that’s exactly what it is.” She opened her mouth to say something else but her eyes dropped to the water instead. “Eren, move!” she called out.

He barely processed what she was saying to him before she ran over and grabbed a hold of him, pushing him out of the way. Eren tripped over his feet as she dragged him up onto the beach and away from the water causing him to fall and take her with him. He grabbed a hold of her to make sure he hit the ground first. The sand was soft, but not that soft; he groaned as Mikasa landed right on top of him.

“I’m so sorry, Eren,” she said, her hands pressing against the sand to lift herself off of him. “There was a jellyfish by your leg. I didn’t want you to get stung,

“It’s okay.” He lifted his head off the sand, his eyes opening up to see her face inches from him. She was watching him with wide eyes, her breath on his lips. It took Eren a moment to realize his arms were wrapped firmly around her waist.

“Thank you for saving my leg,” he murmured, unable to look away from her.

“Anytime,” she breathed.

Eren knew he should let her go, let her stand up; he barely even knew her, and yet he couldn’t move. He couldn’t bring himself to let her body leave his. She didn’t seem to mind since she wasn’t making any effort to move away, just watching his face, her lips slightly parted.

He didn’t even realize he moved his face closer to hers until his lips brushed against her. He leaned in closer, unable to resist pressing his mouth to hers until he felt her gasp against his lips. Eren went to jerk away, to apologize but the moment he broke their small kiss, Mikasa’s hands were on his face, pulling him back to her. She moved her mouth fiercely against his, holding him firmly against her. Eren’s hands grasped against her waist as he held her close, fitting right into him, kissing her right back with as much passion as she was pouring into him.

This was insane. He just met her and yet he felt a warmth flow through his veins that filled his entire body; it was as if that empty void in his life was being filled. One of his hands reached up to her back, holding her as close as he could, his lips never leaving hers. It wasn’t an object, or a job, or a life he was missing. It was her. He was looking for her.

Eren felt ridiculous just thinking about it, but nothing felt more right than knowing she was in his life now. He pushed himself off the sand and carefully pressed his weight against hers until she was laying on the beach. Her hands were still on his face as she leaned her head down on the sand, her eyes meeting his.

“It’s not just me right?” her voice was soft, her thumb stroking his cheek.

“No,” Eren said. “No, it’s definitely not just you.”

He felt a breath of relief fall from her lips, a smile on her face. Mikasa tugged his face down to her, her mouth meeting his; it was softer this time, enough to make Eren melt into her. He wrapped his arms around her, his body pressing into her’s once more.

He had this feeling, this horrible gut wrenching feeling, that he lost her once; that it was unfair, that she was ripped away from him, and there was nothing he could do about it but watch it happen. It was so strong and so overwhelming that Eren felt like he had to clench his eyes shut in order to keep from tearing up as feeling she never felt before raced through his body. It only made him hold onto her tighter.

It was a distant memory, one he didn’t even know the details of but he knew he’d never let that happen again. He’d never lose her again.


	30. Surprise Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 8th - Surprise Gift
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern Setting; Same universe as Drunken Lullabies  
> Rating: T (Sexual Situations)  
> Words: 1919

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what this story is lol I had a hard time with the prompt and thinking of something creative to do with it. So it's more of a surprise gift on one side, and a just plain old surprise on the other haha I just really love writing Eren's parents because I think they would just love to tease him.

Mikasa was vaguely aware of the sunlight hitting her face, that she should get up and get ready for the day. She needed to get up, shower, eat, and be dressed to get to class yet two strong arms around her waist and a warm body pressed up against her back gave her a very different inclination on how to spend her time.

She could feel Eren’s hair against her neck, his mouth against her shoulder, his breath against her bare skin. Mikasa could tell he was still asleep, and all she wanted to do was just fall right back to sleep, but they had school today; she didn’t even know how much time they had left to their day since her alarm never went off.

“Eren,” she said trying to get his attention.

No response.

“Eren,” she said a little louder this time as she tried to wiggle her body in his tight grasp; that seemed to do something. He let out a half whine half groan, pulling her back into him.

Mikasa couldn’t hold back her laughter. “Eren, come, get up. We have classes today. We’ve already slept in far too late.”

He didn’t seem to like that answer judging by the way his lips were gently pressing kisses against her shoulder. “Good morning,” he murmured against her, his voice thick with sleep.

“Good morning,” she said, her head already rolling back against him as his teeth grazed over her skin. By the time Eren’s hand started to move up against her side and down onto her thigh she had already lost the ability to tell him to get out of bed. She rolled over in his arms till she was facing him, his hands reaching to hold onto her back as she did.

His eyes were still shut and he had that sleepy look on his face but Mikasa reached up to brush her hands against his face before running them through his thick hair.

Eren let out a small sigh before his eyes fluttered open. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Mikasa chuckled back, her lips brushing against his. His body was warm, his skin brushing against her in all the right places causing goose bumps to rise. He pressed his lips onto hers and Mikasa couldn’t have resisted him even if she wanted to. She moved her lips with his, gently at first, but as his hands grasped onto her back Mikasa couldn’t get close enough to him.

She moved her hands around his neck, pulling herself up to him, Eren moving his mouth to deepen their kiss. Mikasa sighed against him lips, hands reaching down the soft skin of his back. Sometimes she had a hard time remembering this was real, the boy she had a crush on since she was nine years old loved her too.

His lips traveled along her jaw and right down to her neck where his mouth and teeth roamed over the sensitive skin. She couldn’t hold back the small moan the fell from her lips as chills went down her spine.

Okay, she was more than just a little content. She rubbed her leg up against his as his mouth traveled lower around her chest before she hooked her leg up around his waist, pressing her hips into his. Eren groaned against her skin, his hands reaching to her waist as he rolled his hips into hers. Judging by his hard arousal pressing into her thigh, she assumed she wasn’t the only one content this morning.

Eren reached one hand up to her face, pulling his lips up to hers once more. She moaned against his mouth, his hips rocking into hers again. Mikasa was fairly positive she could spend the rest of her mornings with him like this and she’d hear no complaints for her or from him. Except maybe from Armin who might not like being a roommate much more after that.

Eren pushed his weight against her until Mikasa was laying back on his bed. He looked down at her, his hair falling in his face. “I’m surprised. Not one word about having to leave for class.”

Mikasa chuckled, reached up to pull his face close to hers. “Sometimes, there are more important things than school.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more.” Eren pushed his lips against hers as his body leaned down between her legs.

She reached up around his neck pulling him closer to her, her mouth moving with his.

Until she heard the click of the door opening.

“Eren!” The familiar voice made Mikasa freeze in place, her eyes shooting over to the door as Eren’s head shot up. “Sorry for the little notice, we just wanted to-”

Carla Jaeger was standing right in the doorway with Grisha Jaeger standing behind her. No one seemed to do anything at first, though Mikasa’s face was on fire.  Eren didn’t seem to be fairing much better, he was propped up over her, just staring at his parents who were staring right back.

“Carla, I told you we should’ve called first,” Grisha said, his eyes looking over at his wife.

That seemed to snap her out of her haze. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry, Eren. We’ll just leave. We’ll come back later okay?” She was already turning to gesture Grisha out that door.

“No! No, it’s okay.” Eren grabbed his sheet and held it at his waist while he fumbled over Mikasa, trying to hand her the blanket to hold up. She saw his face was probably as red as hers but she understood; sending them away and acting like nothing ever happened would be far more humiliating.

“We’ll, just,” she pushed on Grisha’s shoulder as he was shutting the door, so their backs were turned towards them. “Stay here for now.”

Mikasa wanted to throw up with the way her heart was hammering in her chest, the way her stomach was lurching. She didn’t think there could possibly be anything more embarrassing then her boyfriend’s parents walking in on her and their son in bed. Oh, but it was worse than that; his parents who had known her since she was a child, who had let her sleep over his house countless times, who insisted on being called Aunt and Uncle as opposed to Mrs. and Mr. This wasn’t even the first time they accidentally saw her naked for goodness sake though the first time they’d seen her and their son naked in the same room let alone the same bed. Mikasa wanted to die.

She clutched the blanket to her chest as Eren reached down to grab whatever clothing he could find. He quickly pulled on a pair for shorts before jumping off the bed to reach for her clothes, though he only came up with her tank top. He handed it to her trying to mouth that he had no idea where the rest was; like that wasn’t making her entire body blush go away. She threw the tank top on as Eren tossed her a pair of his pajama pants which were still better than the nothing she was wearing right now.

“Well, uh,” Eren tried to walk over to his parents, but he just fumbled by the bed instead. “What brings on the _incredibly_ surprise visit?”

Carla turned around first. “We just thought it would be nice to see you, I’m so-”

“No need to apologize so much, Carla, they’re kids, they can easily get on with it again later.”

“Dad.” Eren looked like he wanted to sink into the floor and Mikasa couldn’t blame him, she had already resorted to sitting back on the side of the bed again trying to get closer to the floor.

“It is good to see you, Mikasa.” Grisha nodded over to her.

She gave him a halfhearted wave. “You too, Uncle Grisha.”

This could not get any more awkward.

“It’s _very_ good to see you, dear.” Carla seemed to have gotten the surprise out of her system since she was looking and sounding a bit more like her usual self. “I think I would’ve had to slap him if we walked in and it wasn’t you he was in bed with.”

Apparently, Mikasa had been wrong.

“Wait, how did you even get in here to begin with? The door has a key card lock,” Eren asked, still trying to block out what his parents were saying to them.

Carla held up the very key. “Oh, we ran into Armin on the way in. He gave…us the key…ah. He knew didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did.”

Grisha snorted. “That boy always did have the brains.”

“Lotta good brains are going to do him when I’m done with him.”

“Oh, come on,” Carla waved her hands to try and cut the conversation. “I think the biggest question here is why you didn’t tell us? It’s not like we would have been upset, I think really we all would’ve just let breaths of relief.”

“Or at least to know that our son isn’t as blind as everything thought him to be.”

Eren was trying hard to hold back that scowl of his, Mikasa could tell easily enough. His embarrassment was turning into annoyance. “Okay, okay. I think that’s enough harassing me for one day.”

“We just hadn’t really thought of it honestly,” Mikasa said, surprised her voice was even coming out. “It hasn’t really been that long.”

Carla held a finger up. “But it has been a long time coming.”

“Did you even come here for anything but to bother me?”

“We were going to take you out to lunch as a surprise, and Mikasa too, of course,” Grisha said. “Though we might’ve had our fill of surprises already.”

“No, that’s fine. Just give us a second to get actually dressed.” Eren looked like he wanted to be anywhere but sharing a table with his parents after this morning. They ushered themselves out of the room though, waiting in hallway for when Eren and Mikasa were ready.

The moment the door shut Eren collapsed backwards on his bed. “Remember to have me murder Armin when I see him today.”

Mikasa breathed a small breath of relief that they were alone again, her eyes looking over at him. “At least they weren’t mad. Be thankful _my_ parents never come for a visit.”

Eren put his hands over his face. “Don’t even joke about that. Your parents would have murdered me then and there.”

She leaned forward to pry one of his hands off his face before pressing her lips against his forehead. Mikasa wanted to tell him they probably shouldn’t go to lunch, that they still had class today, but the thought of sitting in a classroom after today had her already groaning.

“Come on,” she said, lightly hitting his stomach. She knew someday they’d be able to laugh it off as easily as Grisha and Carla did. Someday this would be hilarious to even them.

The sound of the door opening once more had Eren sitting up so fast he nearly collided his head with hers. She supposed that would be the natural reaction for a little while now.

Grisha was already popping his head in, Carla still standing nearby. “Also, Eren, I hope you’ve been smart enough to use protection, we really don’t need any more surprises around here.”

Eren reached for the nearest pillow, but the door was already shut before it hit the wall. “I’ve had myfill of surprises too, trust me.”

Someday far, _far_ away.


	31. In Your Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 9th - In Your Arms
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: After the experiments in Chapter 52  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 1896

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kinda inspired when Ashley pondered about Hanji and Mikasa's relationship, so I decided to have them having a little conversation to see how I think it would play out.

Mikasa placed the damp rag on Eren’s forehead, her fingers brushing by his flushed cheek. Dammit Hanji. She pushed it too far again; this was the third day he was still passed out without so much of a fluttering of his eyes. Eren let out a small groan as his body squirmed; his face twisted, causing Mikasa to reach back up to press her hand against the cold rag and he seemed to relax again at least.

He was burning up, the fever over his body never seeming to want to break. Mikasa would know, she was the only one who stayed with him all three days. She was only forced to leave once by Levi for training but Hanji quickly came back to get her when Eren seemed to be in some kind of unconscious distress. Mikasa supposed she should go easy on Hanji since she was the one who told Levi to just let Mikasa be by Eren’s side until he woke up, but they also wouldn’t be in this situation if Hanji just listened to her in the first place.

Mikasa continued to hold her hand against his forehead, his steady breath on her wrist. Eren always looked so young when he was asleep; his features relaxed and his eyes not full of his usual anger and stress. She felt a smile pull at her lips as she reached her other hand onto his cheek. He was still warm but she hoped the cool water was at least helping.

“Knock knock.”

Mikasa pulled her hand away quickly as her head snapped up to see Hanji standing in the doorway, holding a new bucket of water.

“How’s he doing?” She came over to the chair Mikasa had abandoned for the bed, and placed the bucket by her feet.

“The same,” Mikasa said.

Hanji sat down, leaning against her elbows against her legs. She seemed to be looking over Eren but Mikasa wasn’t sure if it was because she wanted to see his well-being or because she wanted to check up on some kind of experiment. “He’s something else,” she said, surprising Mikasa as Hanji looked over to her. “But you’ve always known that haven’t you.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” She really didn’t but that didn’t stop the heat that rose to her cheeks.

“Well, I just mean all that power he has, all that strength. A lot of it untamed that’s true, but he’s used it for the good of humanity from the very beginning. So far he’s the only one we know of who made that choice.”

Mikasa reached up to take the cloth off Eren and dunk it in the water Hanji placed by her feet. She wrung out the excess water and placed it back on his forehead trying to get that fever out. “That’s Eren for you. I don’t even think he ever considered the other option.” She took the dry rag in her lap and wipe off some of the sweat on his face; she felt Hanji’s eyes on her.

“Even though he completely failed controlling himself that first time and nearly sent himself and others to their death.” Hanji gestured to her own cheek, mimicking Mikasa’s scar.

Mikasa nearly threw the rag down on her lap. “That wasn’t his fault.” She paused for a moment, reigning in the sudden flare of anger and defense that shot through her. “He’s learned to control it since then.”

Hanji nodded, a smile on her lips. “He’s lucky to have you, you know.”

There was that heat in her cheeks again. She looked back down to Eren who wasn’t as restless as he was the past few days. “I don’t know if he’d see it that way.”

“Does he know it was because of you they didn’t leave him to die as a mindless titan? That you risked your life to protect him after he attacked you? That when everyone saw a monster you still saw Eren?”

Mikasa couldn’t even bring herself to look at Hanji. “How’d you know that.”

“Well, the actual details we got before the trial so we knew exactly what happened. The last one I knew just by the way you look at him.”

If Hanji’s objective was to thoroughly embarrass her, it was working; Mikasa didn’t even realize she was grabbing at Eren’s blanket till she looked down.

“Though,” Hanji leaned back in her chair. “There was something I did want to ask you. Eren’s been different since he was kidnapped. Did something happen?”

“You mean aside from being kidnapped by his friends who he just found out were traitors and then having a nearly failed rescue attempt were many people died?”

Hanji didn’t seem deterred by Mikasa’s sarcasm. “That’s the thing. That was no doubt traumatic for him and by the way he was after what happened to Levi’s squad, the way he is acting is that part that’s odd. He’s so calm; he takes everything in stride and goes along with everything. That’s not the Eren Jaeger I met.”

Mikasa shrugged. She saw the change in Eren; the gentler way about him, the more level headedness he carried now, the way he didn’t bark at her, how he didn’t push her away anymore. Her breath caught in her throat at the thought of the way he looked at her on the wall when she was hurt.  

“So, I meant something aside from the traumatic events.” Hanji’s eyes were still one her, barely even blinking let alone looking away.

Mikasa hesitated, but it was clear Hanji was being unrelenting; she wasn’t about to let this go. “When we got Eren back, we, well, me and him, fell to the ground with no way of getting out.” Mikasa stared at her fingers; it wasn’t like she wanted to go into the details of how she thought they were gonna die so she tried to tell him how she felt, that she tried to kiss him. She felt the heat rising to her face just thinking about it.

“Eren couldn’t shift and I was hurt.” She struggled trying to ignore the fluttering in her stomach when she thought of the things he said to her, the promises he made. “So he saved us and carried me out. That’s all else that would have happened.”

Hanji was quiet for a moment but Mikasa could see that smile pulling at her lips before she made a noise of understanding.

“What?”

Hanji shook her head. “It just makes sense now.”

“What does?” Mikasa was pretty sure she hadn’t said anything of importance, juts how her and Eren managed out alive.

“Eren’s sudden behavior chance. It took something happening to you, something seemingly life threatening to you that made him realize that life, I’m assuming your life in particular, is not guaranteed no matter how strong you are. Again, I’m just assuming, but I think it was enough to make Eren see the error in his behavior.” Hanji didn’t hold back her grin now. “I’d say he realized he almost lost someone very important to him.”

Mikasa thought her face was on fire. “I doubt that,” she managed to say between her heart pounding in her ears at Hanji’s words. “I’m nothing special to him.”

“That’s not true.” She pushed herself up from her chair. “And I’d say he was the last person who realized it. It’s getting late. I’ll see you in the morning provided he wakes up. If not I’ll be hiding in case you decide to take it out on me.” Hanji gave her a small wave and that all knowing smile before heading out the door, closing it behind her.

Mikasa breathed a shaky breath of relief at finally being alone again. She looked down at Eren who seemed to be doing okay, even looking a little less flushed. She took the rag off his head and went to dunk it in the water before placing it back on his forehead.

Why did Hanji have to keep going on like that? Eren was just growing up; it had nothing to do with her. She saw the change the moment it happened, the moment he stepped in front of her blocking her from the titan. She saw how mature his face and expressions had grown, how tall he had gotten, his broad shoulders, his strong stance. Mikasa reached out to touch his face lightly. “Not that angry little boy anymore, huh?” she murmured gently.

Eren’s eyes fluttered open causing Mikasa to quickly retract her hand. He let out a groan, reaching his hand to his head as he tried to sit up.

“Hey, just relax, okay?” Mikasa leaned forward to carefully push him back down, trying to bite back her smile at seeing his bright eyes again. Eren still looked out of it, trying to glance around the room to figure out where he was until his eyes landed on her, like he just realized she was in the room.

“Mikasa.” His voice was thick, heavy, and she could tell his was still only half conscious.

“You’ve been sick for a few days,” she reached up to take the rag off his forehead and place her palm up to his skin. “Your fever still hasn’t broken so try and go back to sleep, alright?”

He nodded, his eyes dropping shut again. Mikasa wasn’t sure if he understood what she was saying but he was coming out of it and that was all that mattered.

“Goodnight, Eren.” She placed the cool rag on his head again before pushing herself up to her feet. He’d be okay overnight not that he had woken up at least. Her hand was on the doorknob when she heard her name. Mikasa turned to look at him; he was trying to say something but she couldn’t understand. “Is something wrong?” she asked walking back to his bedside.

“Mikasa,” he said again, a little more strongly but his face still looked flushed.

“Yes?”

“Stay please.”

Her breath hitched in her throat at his words. Eren was drowsy, he probably didn’t even know what he was saying, but how could she ever say no to him. “Okay,” she nodded, sitting back down on the bed.

Eren moved over, slowly, but leaving enough room for her.

“Eren?” she questioned but he gestured weakly for her to come over. Mikasa hesitated, but she carefully crawled over until she was laying on her side next to him. It really wasn’t too unusual; she’d slept by his side countless times but normally she was the one who came to him, not the other way around.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, his half lidded eyes watching her, but he reached out and pulled her in. His body was hot, much hotter than normal but it was uncomfortable. Eren’s arms were surprisingly firm around her, his head pressed against her neck. She carefully reached around him, her head falling onto his. His breathing seemed steady, his eyes already closed; Mikasa thought he fell asleep again.

“Thank you.” His words were so quiet, she almost didn’t hear him.

“For what?” she asked, but he didn’t answer. She looked down before she saw the peaceful look of sleep on his face. Mikasa settled down against him, her own eyes closing.

For a moment, she let herself believe Hanji might’ve been right. 


	32. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 10th - Confession
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series; they’re probably early twenties here  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 1346

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren would be the biggest dork with Mikasa when it came to this kind of stuff and no one can tell me otherwise and so ends another prompt week for my cute OTP. I had fun making them all happy and adorable and I hope you guys did too ^^ I have some requests and one shots in mind to work on next, along with the next chapter of my ongoing fic cause I literally do nothing almost the whole day in training at work except write fanfiction. I can’t tell you how much they have paid me so far to write sit and write Eren/Mikasa fics lmao.

Mikasa looked over the vast area of land in front of them the merchants gave her directions to. It seemed to be decent land, not that she knew that much about land or buying land. Regardless, it was far enough out of the way from the closest village and she wanted a place out of the way of people and their eyes. The town was a good way away from the walls, but still close enough to return should they need to and to visit Armin until he could move with them as well. 

“The land seems to be pretty nice, a good amount to work with.” Mikasa glanced over to Eren standing next to her. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, his shoulders slumped, and eyes right on the ground. He had been acting weird ever since they left the inn this morning, and she couldn’t understand what was going on with him. They had spent months traveling with Armin and seeing the world to the best that they could and it was Eren who told her he was done, that he wanted to have a home again. Now he was acting like he wanted to be nowhere near this place, even though they picked this specific town a head of time.

“I was thinking we could build a house over there by the forest so firewood would be quick and easy to get, and for shade in the summer,” she said, hoping maybe some plans would get his attention.

“Okay.”

So that didn’t work very well; he didn’t even look up at her.

“Maybe a barn in the back for some horses, and other animals depending on what kind of things we want to farm or grow.”

“Yeah.”

“And there’s a wide area over there where you can herd cattle in your titan form.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Eren, what is wrong.” She crossed her arms on her chest, her eyes narrowing over at him. He still wasn’t saying anything or looking at her. Mikasa had no idea if he even heard her. “I thought you wanted this. If you want to travel again that’s fine, I don’t care.”

This was his idea, he wanted to stop travelling. She really wouldn’t care if he changed his mind at the last minute and wanted to go travel; it was him not even talking to her that drove her insane. She was watching him, but he wouldn’t even glance up and Mikasa could feel her irritation spiking. “Well?”

“I don’t wanna travel,” he murmured, finally saying something.

“Then what is the issue?”

Eren finally looked over at her, and she saw the rent tint on his face. He looked so flushed and flustered that she couldn’t help but wonder if he wasn’t feeling well; it would explain his behavior.

Mikasa reached over to press her hand against his cheek. “Are you feeling sick?”

“No,” he said. “I feel fine.”

She dropped her hand back to her side; so much for that theory. “Well, do you not like this area then?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Eren.”

“It is fine,” he halfheartedly gestured towards the ground. “Nice dirt.”

Mikasa sighed; this was clearly not happening today. “Let’s just go back to the inn, okay.”

She turned to head back the route they had walked up and she felt the slump in her shoulders. She waited a very long time to have a home, a real home, with Eren, and now that it was so close, he didn’t even seem interested. If he didn’t want to go back to travel, then it was clear this just wasn’t what he wanted, at least not like she wanted it. Mikasa tried to ignore the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as she walked away from him. She was so sure, after everything they had been through, the absolute horrible loss of war and the absolute bliss of seeing so much of the world they never thought they would, that he’d be ready to have a home with her.

She probably would’ve walked all the way back down to the town if Eren hadn’t reached out to grab her shoulder. Mikasa turned back to him; she tried to push aside the hurt she knew was on her face but the way his face softened, she knew she didn’t do that great of a job. He didn’t seem angry, he didn’t even seem upset but there was something bothering him, she saw it in his eyes.

“No, no, don’t go.” He looked worried now, nervous almost.

Mikasa was with him almost every day since they were nine years old, but she had no idea what was going through his head right now. “Eren, if you don’t want to do this its fine. We can go back and stay with Armin again its fine, just tell me.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t wanna go back, I wanna to stay here.”

“Then what is the problem?”

Eren hesitated, his hand moving down to her arm. “I just…” He looked down at the ground. “I just…”

“Yes?” she tried to prompt him; it wasn’t like him to have so much trouble telling her something.

“I just want to be with you, you know?” His face was turning red again, and his eyes refused to meet hers.

“I know, that’s why we’re doing this to be together.”

“No, not like that.” He looked up at her still looking flustered. “Well, no! I mean, yes, like that that’s cause yeah I want that but that isn’t what I meant when I said that. I was only saying that-”

Mikasa reached up to press a hand to his face, his cheeks hot. “Eren, just tell me what you’re trying to say.”

He leaned his head against her hand, those eyes she loved so much meeting hers. “We’ve always been together, you know?”

She couldn’t keep a smile off her face. “Yeah, I know.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Me either.” She rubbed her thumb over his cheek while his hand moved to grab hers.

“I want to marry you.”

Mikasa felt heat rise in her own cheeks as she stared at him. Of course all the things she was expecting Eren to say that wasn’t it. “You…you want to marry me?” Now she was the one feeling flustered, her heart pounding in her chest; her hand dropped from his face to his shoulder in her haze.

“Does that surprise you?” he mumbled, his face still flushed. “It’s not like we haven’t been together long enough.”

“No! No, it doesn’t, I mean…” she paused for a moment, watching his face. Mikasa swallowed the lump in her throat, hoping her voice came out. “Are you _asking_ me to marry you?”

“Yes.” His voice was slightly bashful but she didn’t care.

“Yes,” she breathed, her heart in her throat.

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

It only took a moment for her to be in his arms, her arms reaching up around her neck, and her lips on his. Mikasa felt her feet leave the ground when Eren wrapped his arms around her waist. She placed her forehead on his when she broke away. Mikasa was trying to make her eyes stop tearing up, to keep them from falling down her cheeks, but this, him, was all she ever wanted. His dream was fulfilled, and how he was giving her hers.

“Let’s get the land,” Eren said, pressing his lips against hers again as he put her back down. “And build a house.

“With a guest room for Armin.” She rested her head against his shoulder.

Eren snorted. “Yeah, I’d never hear the end of it if we didn’t.” He had a smile on his lips when he looked down at her, one hand reaching up to brush away the tears off her cheek she didn’t even know fell. “I’m sorry it took so long to give you what you always wanted, what you always deserved.”

She shook her head; that was ridiculous. “I always had the home I wanted with you.”


	33. What's In a Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's In a Name
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: You know I have to get in my one “This is what I want to happen before the next chapter comes out and crushes my dreams” ficlet  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 1880

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this in my head ever since I realized Eren might've heard people refer to Mr. Gunslinger as Ackerman and where his mind would go to because of that. I really don’t know if Historia would know the things I made her know, but I also feel like she might now things she hasn’t said yet. I tried to write a fuller ending as well, but I liked the line I left it on so I hope it doesn’t feel too incomplete ^^’ My headcanons for Mikasa in relation to her family are also shoved in here because I think about that too much and how much I want Mikasa to have a central role in this arc. Please Isayama pleeease

They barely made it out of the funeral home. It seemed like the moment Mikasa and Jean left the building with Eren and Historia, still bound over their shoulders, all hell broke loose. Thankfully, Sasha and Connie had been set up just in case anyone went after them but Mikasa had no idea what was going on behind her; she just followed Jean through the streets, holding on to Eren and never once looking behind.

Armin was waiting at the safe house on the other side of town; he worked it out with Levi before this whole mess started. Mikasa didn’t even have an idea where Levi was, the last time she saw him he was fighting someone who Mikasa never saw before. Regardless, they still managed to get Historia and Eren out of there but now they had to make it to safety before they got caught. She couldn’t hear anyone behind them as they ran but she really didn’t even know who they were dealing with, let alone what they were capable of.

All she knew was the plan had gone south. Eren and Historia were not under the protection they had planned, and were missing for three days. Thankfully, Levi found them again, but they really could’ve lost them this time. As much as she was willing to trust Levi, something that was pretty new to her, and to trust Eren, it had been a very long three days until Levi told them he had sight on them once more. Now all she wanted to do was get them to safety.

Jean skidded to a stop almost causing Mikasa to run into him and Historia. He quickly turned down another alley way and Mikasa followed not wanting to see what made Jean change his path.

 It was a strange past three days. Normally when something was wrong, especially if Eren was in danger, Mikasa felt that sinking feeling in her entire body like her whole world was crashing down, that she needed to get him back, keep him safe. This time, though she felt Eren’s absence every moment of the day, it was okay. It was like she knew that Levi would lead them back to Eren and Historia, that Eren’d be okay by the time they reached him.

A door swung open causing Jean to run right into it. Instead he quickly turned into the building while Mikasa grabbed the door and shut it behind them. Armin was waiting by another door, though this one was in the floor. He handed Jean a small lantern before passing one to Mikasa and she followed as Jean descended the stone stairs. Armin was still behind them, closing the door above them and cutting off all light except for the lanterns.

“This leads to an old tunnel,” Armin spoke in a soft tone. “The others will meet us here when they can.”

It seemed like the steps were never ending as they walked farther down, the stone walls and the air becoming damp the further they went. Mikasa had no idea places like this existed below their feet though she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised; not in the world they lived in.

“There should be a room right when we hit the tunnel, it will be safe to wait there.” Armin said.

“Right here?” Jean asked, gesturing to an old wooden door.

“Yeah. Just take them in there so we can get all their bindings off. I’m sure it’s not comfortable being hog tied for so long. Yeah, I know, Eren, don’t give me that look.”

The creaking of the old door echoed through the tunnel that Mikasa couldn’t even see it was so dark beyond the small sources of light they had. She followed Jean in where he already set Historia down on a chair near a small table, his lantern flickering on the table. Mikasa carefully put Eren and her lantern down as well before reaching for the gag in his mouth to pull it off.

She could hear him breathe deeply now that the rag was gone, probably the first time in the three days he was able to breathe better between the gag and being shoved in a coffin. All she really wanted to do was check over his body, make sure they didn’t hurt him at all but Armin passed her a small knife to cut through his binding’s first.

“Welcome back,” Armin said, leaning up against the table near Eren. “How’re you two feeling?”

“I’ve been better,” Historia shrugged, her hands rubbing at her wrists that had been bound. “I take it the plan didn’t go very well.”

The silence in the room was more than enough of an answer.

Mikasa cut through the binding on Eren’s legs and reached behind him to cut the ones on his hands too. She was about to ask him if he was okay since he didn’t answer Armin but before she could Eren’s hands were on either side of her face.

He stood up, the chair scraping across the stone floor as he pulled Mikasa up with him. His eyes looked over her, an expression on his face Mikasa knew to be worry. “Are you okay?”

Mikasa’s forehead scrunched together as she tried to understand why in God’s name he was asking her if _she_ was okay? “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s not like I’ve never carried you before. You’ve gotten heavier since the last time but it’s not like-”

He shook his head. “I felt so awful, it was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault; it was part of the plan.” Mikasa looked up at him, though in the back of her mind she wondered when she did start to have to look up at him. She didn’t understand what he was talking about; getting captured was part of the plan, sure it got a little ruined but her point remained the same.

Eren still didn’t seem to like her answer. He dropped his hands to her shoulders, his eyes never leaving hers. Despite her complete confusion, she felt her cheeks heating up under his locked gaze on her; it didn’t help when she remembered there were other people in the room watching them.

“I didn’t know what they were gonna do to you,” he said. “And I couldn’t do anything.”

If she was confused before, now she was just lost. She had been with their comrades the entire time, she was pretty sure they weren’t gonna hurt her. “Eren, what’re you talking about?”

“They had you too. I didn’t know how or why, but I know they had you and I was locked in that damn box and I couldn’t get out to help you.”

“Eren,” Mikasa said slowly, reaching both her hands to place them on his arms. She knew he was upset; he was worried about her this whole time that she was captured as well, but she had no idea why. “I wasn’t there until today when we went to get you. I was never taken by them. I was with Levi and everyone the entire three days you and Historia were gone.”

Eren shook his head firmly. “Mikasa, I heard them say your name. Multiple times.”

“Me? You heard them say my name?” Mikasa didn’t even know how that was possible; she had no idea who these people were and she was under the impression they only knew who Histora and Eren were, not the rest of them.

For the first time in their conversation, Eren was the one who looked confused. “They kept saying Ackerman, of course I assumed it was you. Who else would it be?”

“Not Mikasa.” Historia’s voice nearly made Mikasa jump. She looked over at the girl still sitting in the seat Jean had placed her in. “She’s not the only Ackerman.”

“My parents died, they had no relatives.” Once they died the Jaegers were the only family she had, she had known that for a long time.

“They had relatives, you just didn’t know who they were. Probably for good reasons."

Mikasa opened her mouth to respond, to say that wasn’t true. In nine years she never saw another member of her family; her parents were all she had, and her all they had. They even lived out in the woods with not even the townspeople coming to visit. Dr. Jaeger was the only one really. They just liked living in the woods her mom said when Mikasa asked why they were so far away but Historia’s words rang in her ears and she found she couldn’t say a thing. Family members they never told Mikasa about, possibly connected to the people who wanted Eren and Historia, the fact she lived most her life far out in the woods away from everyone…

“Hey, I think that’s enough, Historia.” Eren said. Mikasa didn’t even notice Eren had turned to look at her again; his eyes a little less worried this time.

“Don’t you think this is something we should talk about?” Jean asked, leaning up against the stone wall. “If Mikasa is connected, and they find out, she could be in trouble too.”

“She’s not in danger I would think,” Armin said. “Even if she does have long lost family here, they couldn’t possibly know who she was. She lived in the Shiganshina District with us and pretty far away from the town even.”

Armin’s words reassured her, but his face did not; he was thinking of something, putting pieces together and she suddenly didn’t  want to know what that meant.

“I’m sorry I worried you,” Eren said getting her attention again, his hands loosened their grip on her shoulders but he didn’t move away.

She didn’t want to show it, but the news shook her to her core; it was like everything she ever knew was wrong and if she was related to people like this? People who wanted to take Eren or God knows what. What did that mean she was capable of? She always knew she was strong, but what if something was wrong with her? Something she had no control of. She never questioned her parents as a child, what kid would, but now, she had to wonder, what had they been hiding from and hiding from her?

“Who’re you and what have you done with, Eren,” she mumbled trying to keep her voice even even though her mind was reeling.

Eren scoffed, but lightly and there was a smile pulling at his lips. He leaned in a little till his warm breath was on her ear, sending chills down her spine that had nothing to do with her newfound fears. “It’s just a name, Mikasa, that doesn’t make you like them. You don’t even know there’s a relation.” He paused for a moment. “And if there is, you already know who your family is, and I’m pretty sure me, you, and Armin look nothing alike let alone share the same last name.”

Mikasa couldn’t bite back the small laugh that fell from her lips; Eren was right of course. Her family had nothing to do with blood, it hadn’t for a long time.

“Even if these people try to tell you otherwise, they won’t take you away. I promised, didn’t I?” 


	34. The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Other Side
> 
> Pairing: Mikasa/Eren  
> Setting: In Universe AU; if the Military Police got Eren at the Trial instead of the Scouting Legion.  
> Rating: T (For slight language and threat of torture)  
> Words: 3831

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a horrible request taker cause I lost the url of the person who requested this OTL But they asked for Eren being taken by the MPs and then MidMorningSong asked me for Eren being experimented on by the MPs and having to be rescued. Since they were went hand in hand, I mashed them together ^^

Eren stared at the judge, his words still running over and over in his head. _I hear by give Eren Jaeger to the custody Military Police._ He couldn’t believe the words. No, no, they can’t take me, he wanted to scream. They’ll kill me, please. Frantically Eren looked over to Commander Erwin, to Lance Corporal Levi, pleading at them with his eyes; they couldn’t let the Military Police take him. The Commander was still watching the judge, his face deep in thought but the Lance Corporal wasn’t looking at anyone specific, his face not betraying any sort of emotions.

People were talking all around him as Eren’s eyes dropped to the floor; he heard people cheering out in agreement, and a few people calling out in opposition, but one voice stood out more than the others.

“No!” Mikasa cried. “They’ll kill him! Please! Don’t take him!”

Eren almost heard the sobs in her voice but he couldn’t bring himself to look over to where her and Armin were standing; just hearing her broke his heart let alone seeing them, it would only make all of this even worse. He knew this was probably the last time he’d see the either of them, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He didn’t want the last time he saw their faces to be like this.

“Please, please don’t. You can’t-” her voice was softer, desperate before it got cut off and he couldn’t hear her any more. At least Armin was with her, he’d take care of her now.

Hands reached down to his chains, unlocking him before pulling at him so roughly Eren found himself face first on the ground. His face was already cut and sore from the beating he had gotten; he saw his blood on the ground. It wasn’t for long though, the solider holding his chains pulled him back up to his feet with no consideration for how his arms naturally bent. He stood up on his feet, his jaw locked; he wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of knowing they could hurt him.

“Move, boy,” another solider behind him gave him a push almost making Eren fall again, but he maintained his balance, even when the soldiers in front of him gave him a harsh tug on his chains. If he didn’t feel like a human before, being dragged away in chains like some wild animal wasn’t helping and he didn’t even understand why. He never asked for this.

“What about the girl?” the solider with the dark hair in front of him gestured over to the crowd in the stands. “Are we taking her too?”

Eren didn’t have to look to know who they were talking about it. He felt his blood start to boil.

“She might not be a total weirdo like the kid here, but going by her past history and how she performed in training and in the battle, she can’t be normal. I’m sure there are more than a few tests the good doctor could run on her too.” The laughter that followed made Eren’s stomach turn. He might’ve just been sentenced to death, but he wouldn’t let them go near her for as long as he could. He was the monster, not her; never her.  

“No.” Eren didn’t even recognize his voice as his own and judging by the way the soldiers around him looked at him, neither did they. “The judge said me, just me, and you got me. So you leave Mikasa the hell out of this.”

The blond solider holding onto his chains gave him a pull so hard he nearly fell over again as they started to walk out of the room. “Alright, we’ll spare your little girlfriend for now. We can always get a trial for her one day too.”

There was that laughter again from the three that were surrounding him, it was like they were just trying to make all this worse. Granted, going by how they behaved in the trial he wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what they were doing; clearly they just wanted to make this as miserable experience as they could. Eren refused to give them that satisfaction; he wouldn’t let them get to him. He stared at the ground, not wanting to look at the green unicorn symbols that surrounded him as they walked down the cold, stone halls.

* * *

 

Eren wished they would’ve just taken him to the examining table and got this over with but true to him being a prisoner as well as an experiment, he found himself locked in a room similar to where the Scouting Legion took him. His hands were chained to the bars in front of him, making it difficult for him to even lay down on his bed, let alone move around the room.

He had been so close. He swore the Scouting Legion was gonna get him, at least that way he’d still be a monster, but he’d be able to help, he’d be able to get closer to his goal, his dream. Eren sighed as he tried to close his eyes, but sleep wasn’t about to come, he knew that. Everything was over now. The Military Police would cut him open and prod around until they had nothing else to look at.

He couldn’t help but wonder if this was the way it was always meant to be, that he never deserved the honor of being to help humanity free itself once and for all. Of course, the irony being that he had this outrageous ability to shift into a titan and could probably help better than anyone. That ability was also the one that had him chained up in a room right now with no idea why or how he even had it; not that it mattered anymore. The Military Police might find out why he could turn into a titan but he’d be long dead to even know what it was.

Eren knew he wasn’t the best person in the world; he could be bitter when he didn’t need to, he pushed away the people who loved him just because he was angry he couldn’t achieve what he wanted to protect them, he looked too much on the future and on what he wanted that he didn’t pay attention to the things that mattered right in front of him. Now that he knew he was gonna die, not just that constant fear of being killed, but knowing for a fact they were going to kill him, Eren saw how much he had done wrong in his short life. He should’ve empowered Armin more, he should’ve gotten to know his comrades better, he shouldn’t have been so selfish, he shouldn’t have hurt Mikasa’s feelings so much and so often.

He stared up at the dark ceiling; there was no good dwelling on what he should have or shouldn’t have done now, there was no way he could make up for it, nothing he could do now. He wanted to just cry, to call out, to yell, to scream, but those guards out in front of the bars would probably just try and sedate him with great satisfaction he was sure.

“How long do they plan on keeping me locked up like a test rat?” Eren said, not expecting an answer; which was good because he didn’t get one, he didn’t even get an acknowledgement that he was heard.

He sighed and closed his eyes. There were only a few things that put his soul at ease, just a handful of things he’d be okay with now that his death was drawing near. He was sure they wouldn’t hold Mikasa on trial now they had him; they had no proof she had anything to do with this shit, a trial would never hold up for her, she’d be safe. She had Armin too, and Armin had her; they’d make sure nothing happened to each other. He only hoped now he was gone the both of them would leave the military and be safe. They never wanted this life, and he’d never ask them to fight for something that he wanted without him to even look after them.

He took in a shaky breath trying to reign in his emotions. Mikasa, she’d be alone again; he didn’t want to but he was leaving her alone. This was the longest time he’d been apart from her and he felt an emptiness in himself, one he didn’t even know her presence took up. Eren still heard her voice calling out for someone to help him, to not take him away from her and it send cold chills to the pit of his stomach. He never should’ve pushed her away so much, he should’ve let her know he was never mad at her. Eren was just tired of her showing him up when he was the one who wanted to protect her, to look after her instead of the other way around. Now it was too late. Armin would be okay, but Mikasa…Eren knew better than anyone she wasn’t always as strong as she looked.  

Eren shook his head, trying to rid the faces of his two best friends from his memory.

He would die a member of a Scouting Legion. Sure, he never actually made it to a single mission but he was still an accepted member. He managed to get a part of his dreams achieved, and that was better than nothing.

* * *

 

Eren didn’t even know he fell asleep until rough hands grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him out of bed. He landed on the stone floor, his body already aching from the weird position he slept in. His face didn’t hurt any more though which he supposed was a plus.

“Get up,” the solider in front of him grunted, Eren’s chains in his hands. He tugged on them causing Eren to fall back down again, and didn’t wait for him to stand up before starting to walk out of the room. Eren struggled back up to his feet and hurried to catch up before he landed on his face again.

“Where’re we going?” he tried to ask as he followed the man down the hallway; it wasn’t one he had been down before, at least he thought, it’s not like all these hallways didn’t look the same. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t get an answer but he did get a glare from the solider dragging him along. He was already going to die, Eren didn’t understand why they just couldn’t humor him and answer his questions for once.

He hoped this would be swift. He knew they were probably going to cut him open while he was still alive to see how things worked, though he had to swallow the bile rising in his throat at the thought. Maybe he’d bleed out or something real quick and not give them the satisfaction of torturing him for more than a few hours.

Eren thought a night would’ve given him enough peace with what was basically his execution but when he saw the door already guarded by two soldiers, he felt his stomach sink. This was it.

Without a word the guards stepped aside and Eren got shoved into the large room. There were a few lanterns lighting up the area, but no windows to tell him if it was even morning or night. In the flickering lights he could see a table which assumed was for him to lie on, a few other small tables with all sorts of tools he didn’t want to look to closely at, and some buckets of water he assumed was for a least some sort of sanitation.

“Get up there,” the solider said pulling on Eren’s chains.

It’s not like he had much a choice in the matter, so he did what he was told and sat up on the long table. It was a little unsteady under his weight but he figured that was the least of his worries. The solider pushed his hand against Eren’s chest causing him to fall hard on the back of the table. He let out a groan as his head collided with the wood but the solider didn’t care, he was too busy chaining Eren’s arms down onto the table before he moved onto restraining his legs as well. Eren felt like he was in that weird book Armin once told him about, the one with the doctor and the monster; well, Eren supposed maybe that was appropriate.

“Try not to scream too loud, brat, I don’t want to be bothered outside,” the solider gave one last tighten on Eren’s leg restraints that had him biting his lip not to make a noise. With that, the man was gone leaving Eren alone in the room. What a way to die, he thought with a snort.

“Well, well, Eren Jaeger is it?”

Eren didn’t bother looking up at the man who walked in the room; obviously the man knew his goddamn name. He came over to the table, the long white apron giving him away as the “doctor” though Eren knew that’s not what he was, he knew what a real doctor looked like.

A few more soldiers came in the room, at least that’s what Eren assumed they were considering where they were but they weren’t wearing their uniforms just white aprons like the other man.

“I’m very excited over this prospect,” the doctor said, as he turned to the table behind him. He returned with a small knife in his hand; the sight of it made him swallow hard. “You are something special, aren’t you? Something we’ve never seen before.” The doctor took the knife to Eren’s shirt, cutting it open and revealing Eren’s bare skin to him.

He reached back behind him, and pulled on a set of gloves over his fingers before looking back down to Eren. “Tie something in his mouth.”

Eren couldn’t even move as one of the soldiers shoved a thick rag in his mouth causing him to gag as they tied it around his head.

No. No.

This isn’t what he wanted. Eren thought he’d come to terms with it, but now that the knife was coming towards his skin he didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to leave Mikasa and Armin alone. He wanted to scream, to cry out, to beg them but it was useless. No one would’ve listened to him. 

Eren had to look away when he felt the searing pain coming from his chest. He bit down on the rag, but he knew this was only the beginning.

The door swung open causing the doctor to jerk away from Eren. “Sir!” the new voice called, Eren didn’t look, his eyes were still clenched shut, he felt a bit of blood dripping down his chest from where he was cut.

“I’m a little bit busy! What the hell is going on?” The doctor didn’t sound pleased but Eren was more than relieved, after having his small taste, he wasn’t ready for this, he wasn’t sure he ever would be.

“There’s an emergency out here, we need you!”

The doctor muttered some obscenities as he tossed the knife down on the table. “Come with me,” he said, but Eren didn’t know who he was referring to. “Make sure there are guards outside his door at all times you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.”

The door slammed and Eren didn’t hear anything anymore; he was alone again. His breath was staggered through the rag, his heart racing. He felt the dull ache in his chest but there was no way to relieve the pain; it would probably just make things worse when they came back for him.

The door opened again, causing Eren to wince; he hoped he would’ve had a little bit longer alone. The person who came in walked a lot softer than the doctor who was in here, but Eren still couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes. He didn’t want to see what they were gonna do with him. He heard the click of a tongue as something sharp pinched into his arm.

“I at least would’ve had the decency to sedate you first.”

Eren’s eyes snapped open, he knew that voice. He tried to say her name but his mouth was still gagged. Smiling over him was Hanji, he knew her, he knew her face. She was wearing the same apron as the previous doctor was, standing over him as she pulled the needle out of his arm.

“Don’t worry, Eren, help is on the way.”

He tried to ask what was going on, if she was going to finish the job, but the warm look in her face told him otherwise. He could trust her, she was on his side but she was also getting blurry, her face getting fuzzy as the lights in the room started to move around. Eren blinked, trying to clear his head but nothing was helping as the room started to spin.

“Come on, shitty glasses, we have to get the brat out now. Help me with these chains.”

Eren recognized that voice too, the Lance Corporal. He tried to lift his head but his body felt like it weighed ten tons. He saw Levi’s dark head of hair near his legs as the pressure of his restraints started to be relieved.

“Eren?” another voice said near him. This one was closer, and he felt a warm hand against his cheek. He opened his eyes to see the fuzzy but familiar face leaning over him. Her fingers moved to the rag in his mouth; he could make out that worried expression on her face he knew so well.

“Ackerman, don’t touch the gag in his mouth, it still has to be believable if anyone sees us.”

Levi tossed Mikasa something as she moved down under the table; he felt his arms getting less restricted. “Alright, brat.” Levi was nearby but where Eren had no idea, his head was spinning. “Ready to be a fugitive at fifteen?”

Eren couldn’t have answered if he wanted to, everything went black.

* * *

 

Eren felt the sunlight on his lids, but when he opened his eyes, the bright room sent sharp pains right to his head. With a groan he pressed his hand up to his forehead as he tried to open his eyes once more.

“Careful there, I may’ve over done it a bit with the sedation. Sorry about that.”

He squinted towards the voice seeing Hanji sitting on a chair near his bed, a notebook and pen in her hands. He had no idea where he was, though judging by the sunlight he clearly wasn’t underground anymore. There was also a door instead of bars and for what seemed like the first time in a month, his wrists had no chains on him.

“What happened?” he tried to ask, but his voice barely came out.

“Well, we weren’t gonna to just sit back while they killed a member of the Scouting Legion unfairly. It’s not like we ever listen to the rules anyway, some judge wasn’t going to change that,” Hanji shrugged, still with that smile on her face. “So we had a few of our newest members cause a diversion while I passed the guards posing as a doctor coming to examine you in place of that crazy bat, and Levi knocked the both of them out before coming to help me get you out.”

She paused for a moment reaching over to pull down his blankets a little bit as she checked his chest. He remembered getting cut but as he glanced down at his completely unmarked chest.

“It was a short cut but rather deep, though it seemed to have healed very quickly, before we even got you to this safe house. Your…” she chuckled softly as she sat back down in her chair. “ _Friend,_ Mikasa Ackerman, tried to have Levi’s head when we got you safe after seeing you were hurt. It didn’t go so well for her though since Levi let her come along for no other reason than he was tired of hearing her giving him lip. I’m pretty sure she’s been cleaning this place since this morning per Levi’s orders but if not, her and Armin Arlert are probably standing outside the door, would you like me to get them?”

Eren’s head was spinning again but this time not from drugs; he was so sure he was gonna die in the worst type of ways when that knife pierced his skin, but here he was, alive. “Uh, yeah I’d like to see them.”

Hanji nodded and walked towards the door, she didn’t even have to say anything, the moment the door was opened, Armin and Mikasa came rushing in.

“Hey,” Armin greeted with a wide smile as he sat down on the edge of his bed. “How’s our favorite fugitive doing today?”

“Feeling like I just got trampled by a horse,” Eren said, trying to sit up. He felt a steady hand on his shoulder and on his back as Mikasa reached over to help him. “Thanks,” he said, looking up at her.

Most people probably wouldn’t have seen it, but he knew Mikasa and he saw a small smile on her lips. God, it was good to see them again.

“Look at you two.” Eren couldn’t hide his own smile pulling at his lips. They were in the same uniforms as the last time he saw them, but instead of the Training Corps symbol, it was replaced by the blue and white wings of the Scouting Legion.

Armin laughed sheepishly as he looked down at his jacket. “The Commander came to us yesterday, giving us his recruitment speech, and told us that all wasn’t lost with you.” He looked over at Mikasa who was still standing by Eren’s bed. “That was all we really needed.”

Eren nodded, and though he always knew one day he’d join the Scouting Legion no matter what and no matter how many times he urged his friends to join other branches, it was more than a little reassuring to see them standing with him even though death could be almost certain. Though, if this whole situation taught him one thing, even impending death didn’t always mean what it seemed.

“Just try not to let Hanji get too close, I think she’s been itching to do her own experiments,” Armin said. His voice seemed serious but he was smiling like he was in on some joke. Eren knew that look; Armin was trying to make him laugh despite how serious the situation had been.

Eren snorted as he glanced over to Mikasa, who looked more serious than the both of them. He had a feeling if Mikasa had her way, the scientist would never get the chance to begin with.

“As long as Hanji doesn’t plan on cutting me open too.” 


	35. You Can Look And You Will Find Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You Can Look And You Will Find Me
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa, Shingeki no Kyojin  
> Setting: Both in Canon and in AU, Reincarnation  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 3464

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from an anon for death in the canon setting and then Eren and Mikasa finding each other again in a modern day gym. I wrote this all at work one day because I had a lot of feelings. I love Reincarnation fics for Shingeki so this made me so happy, even though it made me so sad to write that first part ;-; I've never killed a character before, especially one I love so much. Its different from the first time I wrote a Reincarnation fic so I hope you enjoy this one and thank you, anon, for the wonderful request! Ps warning for major character death in the beginning and fluffy fluff in the second part lol
> 
> Also the title is of course from "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper :3

Mikasa wasn’t sure how long she had been out but the gentle rocking of her body slowly lulled her awake. A part of her was so soothed by the soft rocking that she wanted to just go back to sleep but a small sob from nearby kept her awake. Her eyes fluttered open to see where she was but all she saw was the brown jacket of a uniform. Arms were wrapped around her upper body, rocking her back and forth slowly as choked cries fell from his mouth; she knew who it was, she knew that cry.

“Eren?” She was surprised at how hoarse her voice sounded, how much it hurt her throat.

His head shot up as one of his hands reached down for her face but Mikasa didn’t have time to even realize what was going on. All she could see was his red swollen eyes, tears still on his cheeks, and blood all over his body. Panic rose up in her chest.

“Eren, what happened?” She reached for him but stopped short when a sharp pain shot through her body.

“Mikasa.” His voice was low and full of an emotion that made her heart ache. “It’s not my blood.”

She almost didn’t want to look but her eyes were already glancing down at her body, seeing the blood covering her clothing, the ground around her, Eren’s body . There was so much that she knew, she knew this was it. Mikasa didn’t even look to see where the wound was, it didn’t matter; she just looked back up at Eren, his arms still tight around her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he was saying, fresh tears in his eyes. Mikasa couldn’t remember a time he looked so sad, so broken. “All those years of you saving me and I couldn’t help you, I couldn’t save you.” He laughed but it was deep and full of self-loathing; it made Mikasa hurt more than any of the wounds on her body could cause.

“Eren,” her voice was soft, soothing. She didn’t want him to hate himself, not now not ever. “It’s not your fault.”

He scoffed bitterly. “Please, when hasn’t it been my fault?” His eyes softened when he looked back down at her. “I’ve treated you so shitty. You never deserved that.”

Mikasa shook her head but cringed as hot pain stung her spine. “That’s not true.” She tried to bite back a cry. “You gave me life, Eren. Something to live for.” She carefully reached up to brush her hand against his cheek; she was going to miss that face, those eyes, that smile. “Someone to love.”

Eren bit his lip trying to hold back his tears but it didn’t work; she felt them falling down onto her hand. “I love you,” he choked. “I always have. Mikasa, I-”

“I know, it’s okay. I know.” She felt her own tears pricking at her eyes but she just smiled at him. A hard cough racked her body; it felt like it was tearing up her throat. She reached her hand over her mouth but when she pulled it away all she saw was the blood coating her hand.

Eren leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers, his tears falling onto her face. “What am I gonna do without you? How could I possibly-”

Mikasa pressed her hand to his face again, pulling him away just enough to look him in the eyes; those intense eyes she knew so well. “You fight. You always fight.”

He closed his eyes and nodded, his head and shoulders sinking. Mikasa felt someone kneel down beside her, hands grabbing onto one of hers. She looked over from Eren; her vision blurry, it was getting spotty but she knew that blond hair. “Hey, Armin.”

“Hey,” he said trying to smile, but his blue eyes were filled with his own tears.

“You’re gonna take care of him right?” It was getting harder to talk, each breath felt like razors. She heard Eren trying to choke back a sob but Armin merely nodded.

“Someone has to.” His hand gripped onto hers like he didn’t want to let go but all she needed was a look from him. Mikasa always knew Armin cared for her, like she cared for him; she never had to question it.

But Eren was different.

He was pulling her close again, his head near hers. “Don’t leave me, please,” he whispered. “Please, Mikasa.”

She reached down to pull at her scarf though the effort nearly made her pass out. She placed some of the well-loved material over Eren’s hand. “I never will.”

Mikasa felt Eren grab onto it, Armin still holding her hand nearby. She heard Eren repeating her name over and over again but she couldn’t see them anymore. She was still happy though. At the end of it were her and Eren. Her, Eren, and Armin, just like it always had been. Soon she couldn’t hear Eren’s voice anymore.

***

The gym was always filled with the same kind of noises: pop music over the speakers, the clanging of some assholes dropping their weights too hard, treadmills running, people talking, instructors dictating what exercise was next. Mikasa never paid much attention to it though, at least she tried not to; she came to work out and get her own training done.

Mikasa looked up from the hand weights she placed on the ground to see her reflection in the large mirror against the weight room wall. She looked the same as she always did; sports top, gym shorts, pale skin, dark hair but that’s not what she cared about really. From her spot in front of the mirror she could see towards the back of the room, on the leg press was that mop of brown hair she got so used to seeing, those stunning blue eyes that she refused to admit she caught herself staring at. He was a new member to the gym, at least Mikasa didn’t remember seeing before about a month ago but since then, she couldn’t stop seeing him.

She turned around pretending she was just looking around the gym but at this point she knew better. Every time he walked into that gym Mikasa couldn’t keep her eyes off of him; it was horribly embarrassing.

He moved to another machine nearby where his back was to her as opposed to his face. He always looked so intense and focused but he’d smile every now and then; he had a big toothy smile that made her heart race.

“Just go talk to him instead of staring like a freak.” Annie’s voice nearly made Mikasa jump out of her skin. The blonde girl was sitting nearby, curling a weight on the bench.

Mikasa resisted the strong urge to roll her eyes. “Okay, let me just go and say, ‘Hi, I’m Mikasa. I’m the one who stares at you all the time.’ I’m sure that will go over well.”

“It’s better than _actually_ staring at him all the time.”

Mikasa did roll her eyes this time.  “Says you.” She leaned down to pick up her weights again, trying hard to ignore the boy in the mirror.

She really had no idea what came over her this past month. She never even had much interest in the guys who actually perused her let alone the stranger who never looked her way. Still Mikasa couldn’t get him out of her mind no matter how much she tried. She felt like a little girl with a crush on the popular boy in school; every time he drifted into her mind her heart raced, a smile pulled at her lips, she felt flushed, and she didn’t even know his name.

“This is dumb,” she muttered as she started reps again with her weights.

 “You don’t have to tell me. Grow some balls and go talk to him.”

Mikasa shot Annie a glare but the blonde just watched her. Yeah, okay, like talking to him wasn’t gonna be the most awkward thing, especially if he ever caught her looking at him. The thought alone made her face heat up and her stomach drop.

Okay, this was really dumb. She looked down at her arms, moving in rhythm to make her reps; she needed to stay focused on her work out, just like she did every day before that boy ever started coming to the gym. He was just a boy after all, they came and went all the time from here. Maybe he would wash out and she could forget about him, never have to see him again but the thought made her stomach clench. She really didn’t want that, and she didn’t even know why. Yeah, he was cute but she didn’t need to be so damn attached to a stranger.

“Excuse me?”

The voice was so close that Mikasa looked up though she assumed no one was talking to her. For the second time that day she nearly jumped through the ceiling when she saw that boy, the one she was trying to get out of her mind, standing next to her and his gorgeous eyes on her, clearly waiting for an answer.

She reminded herself how to speak. “Oh! Ah, yes?” Which wasn’t much better a response than just staring at him dumbly.

“Sorry to bother you,” he said with a small smile. “But I don’t really know anyone and I was wondering if you’d spot me when you had a moment?” He reached a hand up and scratched behind his head as he gave her a hopeful smile.

Like she could have said no even if she wanted to. “Ah, yeah. I mean, I’d be happy to. I really wasn’t doing anything.” Mikasa went to place her weights back when she heard a snort of laughter coming from Annie. Mikasa just ignored her; Mikasa was too busy hearing her heart pounding in her ears.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” he said as he led her over to one of the larger dumbbells placed over a bench. “I always want to work with the larger weights but none of my friends wanna come here with me.” He shrugged as he sat down on the bench. “I always see you here and you look like you know what you’re doing.” His smile nearly made Mikasa’s heart stop. “I’m Eren, by the way.” He reached his hand out to her.

“Mikasa.” His hand was soft but she could feel the calluses she knew well from working out at the gym. He apparently did notice her just hopefully not her shameless looks at him.

“Are these weights okay?” she asked, trying to change the subject and distract herself from her embarrassment.

Eren glanced over at them before laying down on the bench. “Yeah, those are fine thanks.”

Mikasa stepped behind the dumbbell, something she was used to doing with Annie, though she didn’t look quite as good as Eren did in his tank top, his tanned skin standing out against his dark clothes. Mikasa had to stop her train of thought before she looked too much at his arms and shoulders.

He reached his hands up to the metal bar the same time Mikasa reached down to hold onto it for him. Her fingers brushed into his causing Mikasa to resist jumping away at the sudden touch but she placed her hands back down a little farther away from his this time.

“Ready?” she asked, hoping he wouldn’t hear the slight shake in her voice.

“Ready.”

Mikasa held on as Eren lifted the weight off its stand before she let go but still stood ready to grab it off him if needed. Though, judging by how easily he seemed to be handling it, she didn’t think he even needed her help. Regardless, she still watched him closely which she had to remind herself was just to help him; it didn’t work very well. She was twenty years old and she never felt like this towards someone before, but this boy, Eren, it was like no matter how hard she tried this past month she couldn’t ignore him like she wanted to.

Eren placed the weight back on the stands with Mikasa reaching forward to help guide him. “Thanks,” he said with a smile as he sat back up.

“I don’t know what you’re thanking me for. You seemed to handle it just fine.” She felt a smile pulling at her lips as she looked over at him.

He didn’t seem very surprised but there was a red tint on his cheeks. He laughed lightly, his hands falling in his lap. “I’m not very slick, I guess.” Eren reached a hand behind his neck to scratch as he carefully met her eyes. “I just wasn’t sure how else to start a conversation with you aside from, ‘Hi, I’m Eren, and I come to this gym at the same time every day because it’s when you’re here.’ In hindsight that was incredibly creepy so please disregard whatever I have to say.”

Mikasa had to clasp her hand over her mouth to hide her laughter; she understood more than she was willing to tell him at the moment. In fact, she almost heard Annie in her head telling Mikasa she better make a move so Annie didn’t have to listen to her whine anymore.

“There’s a coffee shop down the road,” Mikasa said, her hands slightly fidgeting with each other. “Would you like to go? Well, I mean, if you’re done of course.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m done. I’ll just…” he stood up quickly. “Meet you at the front of the gym, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Mikasa nodded, biting her lip to attempt to hide her smile.

“Okay, cool.” Eren started to walk away, still facing her and still smiling. “See you then.” He backed into one of the weight machines causing some of the weights to clang.

Mikasa tried not to laugh but it was hard not at the sheepish look and small wave he gave her before turning to go to the locker room.

“Jesus, it’s about time.”

Once again, Annie made Mikasa jump out of her trance. She turned her head to tell Annie to stop doing that but she was already holding Mikasa’s back and jacket.

“Here take your things and get out of here.”

“Thanks,” Mikasa said, trying hard not to smile as she shrugged on her jacket before taking her gym bag.

Annie turned around back towards her seat. “Just please for the love of God don’t come home tonight.”

“Annie.” Mikasa tried to glare at her, but her face was so hot at her roommate’s implications that she knew it didn’t work. She headed to the front door trying to get rid of the flush that took over her body.

She saw Eren heading over as well, his jacket in and bag over his shoulder. Mikasa held the door open for him as a gust of cold wind hit them.

“Bitter out today,” Eren said, looking over the snow covered street as the door to the gym closed behind them. “Good think I never leave the house without it.” He held up something red in his hands. A scarf Mikasa noted as he carefully sloppily it around his neck. A scarf.

The sun had already gone down but under the street light she could see it clearly; the dark red color falling against Eren’s light brown jacket. Warmth started to fill her body, a sense of familiarity, a sense of something she should remember but…something was wrong…something was off.

Mikasa reached out towards him; she was aware of Eren’s eyes on her but it didn’t matter, her hand didn’t stop until she felt the soft but worn material under her fingers. The moment she did, her head started to spin as images filled her mind; ones she never knew, a life she didn’t know. She felt like she was gonna pass out, just two strong hands holding her up.

There was a small girl with a knife charging at someone, a boy with a scarf passing it to the girl, a warm cabin, a woman with dark hair smiling, a man with glasses, death so much death, so much grief, so much hatred, brown uniforms, training, fighting in the sky with monsters, fighting with that boy, she loved him, he was always running one step ahead, fear, strength, friends fighting together, friends lost, betrayal, that boy grew up, that girl with the scarf, he promised they’d always be together, but there was so much blood, no one could stop it, not Armin, not Eren…Eren.

“Eren,” Mikasa gasped, her eyes focusing in on the snowy sidewalk again, on the blue eyed boy holding her up. He was blurry and it took her a moment to realize it was the tears in her eyes, on her cheeks. “Eren?” She felt like someone had punched her in the stomach; her heart was aching with so much sorrow, so much longing. She tried to blink away the tears, only to see his eyes were swimming with his own tears, his hands tight on her arms. She finally saw him, but this time it wasn’t Eren that cute boy from the gym, it was Eren Jaeger. Eren the one she knew since they were kids, the one who saved her life, the one whose side she was always beside, the one she loved the most in any world, the one she lost so long ago.

“Mikasa,” his voice was breaking but soft and full of compassion. His hands reached up to hold her face with a tenderness that made her heartache. “You died, in my arms. I watched it and I couldn’t do a damn thing. I never thought I would see you again. I thought I lost you forever.”

She didn’t even have a moment to respond before Eren pulled her into him, her hands pressed against his chest as his wrapped around her. She felt his warm tears on her neck, her hands reaching up around his neck to pull herself closer to him. She closed her eyes as tears ran down her cheek. All her life, something was missing something so achingly painful that it made her cry for seemingly no reason. This was why and she knew it now without a doubt. She was missing Eren, her Eren. No life was complete without him, no life ever would be.

“I remember,” he said, lifting his head up but still holding Mikasa close. “I remember the one thing I regretted most after…after…”

“What was that?” her voice was hoarse from her tears but her body was warm, she felt a sense of safety that she hadn’t known in this life just standing in the winter cold.

Eren reached a hand up to her cheek before leaning in to press his lips against hers.

Mikasa gasped against him as she tightened her grip around his neck, moving her mouth with his. It was like breathing in fresh air; even though she wasn’t sure what she was feeling, what her life even was anymore, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the way his hands held onto her like he was never gonna let her go, the way his lips felt on hers, and the way she finally felt whole again.

He broke their kiss just enough so he could press his forehead to hers, his breath panting over her skin. His lips curled up in a smile. “So what’re you doing tonight?”

Mikasa couldn’t hold in her slightly choked laugh. “Well, my roommate did forbid me from coming home tonight.” The thought only made her want to laugh again; of all people, Annie.

Eren reached up to his neck and carefully pulled the scarf off and with a smile Mikasa hadn’t seen in a very long time, he draped the scarf back around her neck. “Good.”

It smelt like a distant time, a place long ago as he wrapped it around her, but it also just smelt like Eren. She sighed as she reached up to hold the edges in her hands. “Home,” she said, reached up to brush away some of the bangs out of Eren’s face. “It feels like home.”

“Good,” Eren said again. He held his hand out to her which Mikasa took, interlacing her fingers with his. “You were always my home.”

Mikasa tilted her face up without a second thought to press her lips to his once more; she’d never tire of being able to do that. She felt his hand on her cheek before she broke away as Eren started to lead her down the sidewalk.

It really didn’t matter where they were going or where they would end up.


	36. A Twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Twist
> 
> Pairing: Mikasa/Eren  
> Setting: In trainee days; Genderbend AU  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 2083

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a request from Callicature who asked for a genderbend of jealousy when Eren goes to train with Annie instead of Mikasa. Genderbends are always tough because as much as Mikasa has male tropes and Eren can have feminine ones, I’m so used to Mikasa showing those male roles but still being feminine and Eren struggling with some masculine roles but still very much being the man of the relationship that it’s hard to find that gender reverse balance for me and I make Eren too Tsun-Tsun. But I hope you enjoy! I’ve gotten a few requests for another genderbend so I hope this fulfills that lol
> 
> Also I find changing the names in genderbends really takes me out of the story and the world, they all keep their names , so don’t be too confused by a male named Annie haha

Eren wiped the sweat off her face as she walked back into the cool shade of the dining hall. Maybe joining the military in the middle of the summer when they trained outside in heavy uniforms wasn’t the smartest idea in retrospect but it was the earliest enrollment date and she took it. She pulled her hair out of her ponytail before brushing any stay brown strands back up into her tie, happy to get some of her sticky hair off her neck and face. She saw Armin and Mikasa sitting at a table across the room, eating whatever food they were offering today, an extra tray on the table left for her.

“Hey, Jaeger.”

Eren turned her head at the voice; she knew it well only because it was the voice that was drilling her moments ago. Annie was standing near the door to the dining hall, watching the others around Eren walk in. She stopped where she was and walked over to the boy to see what he wanted.

“Yeah?” she asked standing a bit away from him; it was hard not to, after she was used to him kicking her on her ass all through training. It was just a day arraignment Eren thought, but for the rest of the week Annie had asked if she wanted to train with him and Eren easily went away from whoever she was training with to train with him instead. She saw Annie take down the biggest girl in class in one move, Eren wanted to learn that. She pretended to put up a fight but with Annie but Eren felt like she was actually learning something for once, like she was finally getting somewhere in this training.

“You didn’t do as bad today as normal,” he said simply.

Eren had to think for a moment to see if that was actually a compliment. “Uh, thanks. I think.”

“I don’t mind it, you know.” He leaned slightly up against the wall behind him. “Training with you, if you’d like to keep training together.” Annie normally kept to himself more often than not; in fact, Eren was pretty sure this was the most he had said to her even despite their training for the past week.

 “I guess it depends if I want to end up on my ass every day from now until graduation.”

Annie just looked at her blankly.

“Ah, yeah, I’d actually like that.” Eren gave him a smile before thinking about her words. “The training, not the getting knocked on my ass every day.”

He nodded and walked away, like that’s all there was to it. Eren didn’t mind though, she was starving, though she couldn’t keep a smile off her face. She was gonna show them all that she had more than enough of what it took to be a solider, especially with Annie’s help. When she started to walk over to where Mikasa and Armin were still sitting, she already saw Mikasa’s eyes on her. She took her seat next to Armin where her tray was waiting and avoided Mikasa; she already knew what he was gonna ask her about.

“Eren, hey,” Armin said with a smile in between bites of her food. “How was training? I couldn’t really see you.”

She picked up her spoon and dipped it into the soup to spin around the contents; Eren didn’t even want to know what was in it. “Good, it was real good. I feel like I’m finally getting somewhere, you know?” She spooned down a few bites. “How about you?”

Armin shrugged, her blonde hair brushing against her shoulders as she did. “Ah, well, it would help if they didn’t put me up against Reiner. I could barely reach her, let alone knock her over.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mikasa spoke up, breaking some of his bread in his hands. “It’s more or less exercise anyway, just to keep us in shape.”

Eren felt a twinge of annoyance; easy for him to say, no one could even come close to him in training. “What’s that supposed to mean?” That annoyance was easily replaced with guilt when she heard how harsh her voice came out.

Mikasa didn’t seem bothered by it though, he just looked up at her with his dark eyes Eren knew all too well. “When is hand to hand combat gonna come in handy when we’re fighting titans? By the way, what did Annie want?”

Eren could feel a smile tug at her lips. “Oh, he just wanted to ask if I wanted to keep training with him, that’s all.” She looked back down at her food, but she couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. She finally had a chance to get better, to show Mikasa she wasn’t the weakling who couldn’t do anything for herself. Eren was not missing out on that.

“Did you say yes?” Armin asked before placing some bread in her mouth.

“Well, yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

Armin glanced over at Mikasa before looking back down to her food.

“What?” Eren asked, trying to eat some of the soup on her tray.

Her tablemates were silent for a moment; Armin staring at her food and Mikasa pulling at his bread before he looked up at Eren. He looked indifferent on the subject but Eren saw it in his eyes, he was upset.

“Why didn’t you ask me? I would’ve helped you.”

Eren felt her jaw clench; she knew it was only a matter of time. “I didn’t ask you because I can do it myself. I don’t need your help okay.”

“He’s not even that great,” Mikasa said, fingers twitching to the end of his scarf. “He’s got good form and strength, yes, but there is more to it than just that. I can probably help you better than him, at least I know you and how you work.”

“If you knew me, than you’d already know I can do just fine without your help. Thanks.” She held her bowl up to her lips and drank down the rest of her soup before putting it back down on her tray, harder than she intended to. “I’m going to shower. I’ll see you guys later.” She didn’t even wait for a goodbye from the either of them, she just left through the doors.

Eren knew she shouldn’t have behaved that way, she knew she shouldn’t have snapped at Mikasa like that and just got up and left but it was so irritating. Ever since they got here Mikasa could do nothing wrong; he was the star cadet at the top of the class, and Eren just barely got by most all the time. It wasn’t fair, Mikasa didn’t even want to be here, she did; this is what she wanted to do, what she needed to do.

She sighed as she stepped into her bunk; thankfully everyone still was at lunch. It wasn’t Mikasa’s fault she knew. Mikasa was always one step ahead but it never stopped him from taking care of Eren. She just wanted to look after him for once, for him to stop treating her like he owed her this great debt. That wasn’t want she wanted.

She fell down on her bed, on arm falling over her eyes. She never wanted to hurt him, she’d never want to hurt him; she just wanted to do things on her own. Why couldn’t Mikasa ever see that? Why couldn’t he see she wanted to be strong enough to be his partner, not the person he had to save all the time whether because he feels like he has to or because he actually has to.

Eren groaned, rolling over so her face was in her pillow. Like always though, she managed to let her anger get the best of her and bit off his head for no reason. Eren didn’t even know why he stuck around her at this point, but she knew when she was good enough, she’d make it up to him. She’d show him she was good enough to stand next to him.

* * *

 

For what seemed like the tenth time this minute, Eren was back down on the dusty ground with Annie looking over her. She groaned as she tried to sit back up; her body already felt like a titan knocked her down, not a boy who was the same height as her.

“You aren’t doing very well today,” Annie stated like Eren couldn’t tell that for herself.

“I hadn’t noticed,” she said pushing herself back up to her feet but not without a glance behind her. Mikasa was fighting with Jean nearby like he had been for most all of training today. He was doing much better than the Jean of course, but that’s not what bothered Eren. She hadn’t talked to Mikasa since lunch the other day; she saw him at dinner but they didn’t say anything despite Armin trying to get them to start a conversation. Eren was still angry and Mikasa was still upset; neither one much for talking it out.

Eren felt bad about how she treated him, but she was also too embarrassed to bring it back up so she had taken to being distracted watching Mikasa spare with Jean and that stupid smile on the two tone haired girl’s face as they fought. Mikasa was all business like he normally was, his red scarf blowing lightly in the breeze every time he knocked Jean down. Well, at least it wasn’t just Eren.

“I see there’s something you noticed.” Annie was still looking down on her, his hands across his chest.

She scowled but didn’t say anything as she jumped back to her feet.

“Your rival?” Annie asked once Eren had taken her fighting pose again.

“No.” She gritted her teeth. “My friend, my best friend along with Armin.”

Annie arched his eyebrows as he reached out to lower Eren’s arms some. “I didn’t know friends glared at each other.”

“It’s a long story.” Even if Eren wanted to say anything else, Annie didn’t give her the chance; she was on her back again within moments.

“He looks over here a lot too, but unlike you, he doesn’t end up on his back because of losing his focus.”

“Yeah, that’s because he’s too good to do something stupid like losing focus,” Eren grumbled mockingly rubbing her head as she hauled herself back up to her feet.

“No, it’s because he probably knows what he’s fighting for.”

Eren wanted to ask what the hell he was going on about but the lunch bell cut through the yard causing everyone to head towards the mess hall, including Annie. Eren followed behind the crowd, not quite feeling as good as she was yesterday.

Mikasa and Armin were just sitting down at a table when Eren finally got in, Mikasa placing an extra tray down on the table for her. Eren hated the way she lashed out at him, not when he didn’t deserve it. Annie’s words kept playing in her ears. Mikasa knew what he was fighting for, what was Eren fighting for? To beat Mikasa? To beat the titans? To join the Scouting Legion? For her mom’s memory? For Armin? For Mikasa?

“There you are, Eren,” Armin said when Eren sat down next to her at the table.

Mikasa looked up but didn’t say anything, that usual look on his face.

“How was training today?” Armin asked, taking a bite of her bread.

Eren heard her, but she was looking at Mikasa; she knew his face better than her own, his dark hair, pale skin, the deep red color of his scarf at his neck. They hadn’t met till they were nine but at the same time Eren felt like Mikasa was always by her side. Eren didn’t want it any other way, no matter how much better Mikasa was than her, no matter how much she had to climb to get to his level.

“I’ll fight you when I can beat you, Mikasa,” Eren said simply, her eyes locked on his. So it wasn’t much of an apology, it wasn’t much of anything really but it was all she had right now.

A small smile pulled at his lips, one not many people got to see. “Deal.”

She turned back to Armin. “Awful, how was trying to take down Riener today?”

Armin groaned. “It was Ymir today. Why don’t I ever get paired with Kris? At least he’s my height.”


	37. When Your Dreams All Fail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Your Dreams All Fail
> 
> Pairing:Mikasa/Eren  
> Setting: Post Series  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 1754

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t going to post this till over the weekend, but this fandom sucks ass so I figured the tag could use a pick me up. I wrote this at work in one day because I wanted it and I think Eren would be haunted for a long time of the things he's seen, any of them would be. Inspired by kuro-shinozaki's art cause I love and I had that specific comic stuck in my head for a few days. The title is from "Demons" by Imagine Dragons.

It was dark around Eren, darker than even just the night; deep in the pit of his stomach he had an aching feeling it would never get light again. He stumbled blindly through the space, tripping over something every few steps but he had no idea what it was, where he was.

“Armin!” he called out. “Mikasa!”

He expected to hear one of them shout back, to hear the sharp sounds of the 3D Gear coming to find him but all he heard was the echo of his own voice. Where was everyone? Mikasa, she’d never let him out of her sight, she had to be here somewhere. She had to be.

Eren looked down at the ground to see if maybe the terrain would let him figure out just where he was; it was still covered in dark shadows, not even a blade of grass showing. He could barely even see himself, just his dirty pants and torn shirt. He kept walking, hoping someone would show up, hoping he could get out of here.

“Mikasa! Armin!” he tried again but still no answer. “Where are you guys?”

He thought he was outside somewhere; the air was cool but bitter, like something stale was in the air. He heard wind blowing through the trees; at least, he thought it was trees, he couldn’t actually see any. Eren tried to rack his mind to remember where he was before he ended up here but there was nothing but darkness. Did he get lost? Were the others okay? Did they even notice he was gone?

Eren was about to call out again when something bright appeared in front of him. His eyes had grown so accustom to the darkness that he nearly had to shield his eyes from it.

“Eren?”

The voice made him freeze instantly. He hadn’t heard that voice in so long. Eren wasn’t even sure it was possible but he knew it. He knew that voice. “Mom?”

As she got closer to him, lighting up the small area around her, Eren knew it couldn’t be anyone but his mom. Her hair was pulled off to the side just like always, her dress and apron just like the last time her saw her when he was nine years old.

“Look at you, Eren,” she said with a laugh that sent warmth through his body. “All grown up and handsome.”

Eren couldn’t hold back a smile as he walked towards her. God, it has been too long. He felt like a kid again just wanting to go see his mom.

She looked around the area. “Though…” She looked back at him, this time with concern in her eyes. “Where’re Mikasa and Armin? Shouldn’t they be here with you?”

Eren stopped in his tracks. “I…haven’t been able to find them. I’ve been looking.”

“Did you let them die, Eren?”

“What? No, of course not.” His heart sank into his stomach as a cold chill took over his body. He hadn’t seen them; he honestly had no idea if they were dead or alive. “I’d never let anything happen to them.”

“Like you wouldn’t let anything happen to me?”

The air around Eren changed; it turned thick, he was finding hard to breath. The temperature dropped, making him feel every cold breeze against his body. “Mom…I tried…I wanted to I…” He felt tears prickling his eyes.

“But it didn’t do any good did it?” Her eyes turned dark as blood started to spot on her dress, down her face.

Eren stepped back to get away but he tripped over something, sending him right to the ground. He tried to stand back up, to run, but the air was suffocating, he couldn’t move. “No, stop…”

His mom walked towards him the light extending off her as the area started to come into view. The sight made Eren want to throw up. Surrounding him were bodies laying limp on the ground; some were in civilian clothing but most were in uniform and most he could recognize. Sasha and Connie were huddled close together, Jean was nearby, Marco, Levi, Ewrin, Hanji, Histoiria, Ymir fallen over her, Reiner, Annie, Bertholdt, even Hannes. Eren threw his head in his hands as he tried to block out the images.

“It’s your fault,” his mom’s voice called causing Eren to look up.

“No, I would never…” but he trailed off when he saw Mikasa and Armin’s bodies in front of him. “No…” He reached out for them, grabbing a hold of Armin’s shoulder, of Mikasa’s arm. “No, they’re not…they’re not…” Eren tried to shake them but their bodies only moved lifelessly in his hands.

“It’s your fault,” she said again.

Eren looked up, feeling the tears on his cheeks. He was going to tell her no, he’d never. He’d never hurt Armin. He’d never hurt Mikasa.

A titan rose up behind his mom, looming over the whole area and Eren recognized it as himself. Mikasa’s scar on her cheek cause Eren’s eye and suddenly he knew it was his fault. He killed them all. He reached out to touch Mikasa’s cold skin, the old scar.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his titan form getting closer. “I’m so sorry.”

Eren snapped up in bed, his breath frantic and sweat dripping down his face. His heart raced in his chest as his eyes adjusted to the darkness around him. It wasn’t the darkness he had been in, the moonlight spilled through the open window onto the wooden floor, and a cool breeze blowing across his slick skin. His slowly began to see his surroundings as the well-known fixtures of his bedroom. He quickly turned his head back to his bed to see Mikasa laying on her side, her back to him and her sides moving in a rhythmic motion as she slept.

He felt a breath of relief flood his body as he reached up to wipe the sweat from his face.

A dream. It was just a dream.

Eren laid back down, reaching one of his hands over her waist as he pulled her body into his. He buried his face in the back of her neck, her long hair tickling his face but it didn’t matter. The smell he long associated with her started to calm his pounding pulse.

It was just a dream.

It wasn’t the first dream nor did Eren expect it to be the last but it had felt so real, like he really lost everything, like really lost her.

“Eren,” Mikasa mumbled, her voice thick with sleep. She tried to turn her head to look at him but Eren refused to let go of his hold on her. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head against her. “Just a bad dream. Nothing to worry about, go back to sleep.”

Mikasa shifted in his arms clearly not listening to him, not that Eren was surprised. She moved until she was facing him, her sleepy eyes meeting his as she reached a hand out to touch his face, “What is it?”

She really didn’t look all that different physically since they left the walls and yet she was full of so much life now.  She grew her hair out again, she smiled more, her eyes were brighter, she was happier and it gave her a warm glow that always made Eren smile. At least he had done right by someone.

“Ah, the usual,” Eren shrugged not wanting to plague her with the things in his mind; it wasn’t fair to her, not when they were finally safe, when she finally had her home.

Her eyes were firm on him but her tone was soft. “I’ve seen everything you have, Eren.”

He sighed before flopping down on his back, taking Mikasa with him, her head resting on his shoulder. How could he ever forget?

“Everyone was dead,” he said bluntly. “It was my fault. I killed them. I killed you and Armin and my mom.”

“You know that’s not true.” Her hand ran small circles along his bare chest as she spoke. “I’m right here, and Armin is at his house, right where we last saw him.”

Eren closed his eyes; he almost saw their lifeless faces again.

“Your mom, any others, they weren’t your fault, and you know it. The world was shitty, and you helped make it better.”

“Yeah,” he snorted. “As much as-”

“Call yourself a monster and you’ll regret it.”

Eren looked down at her. “And just what do you plan on doing.”

Mikasa was straddling his waist, his arms pinned to his side before he could blink.  It really shouldn’t have surprised him; their life had turned so domestic sometimes Eren forgot she had been at the top of their training class, at the top of the Scouting Legion.

“You’ve never been a monster, Eren. Anyone who said otherwise didn’t know you, didn’t understand who you are and how much you fought for them. It doesn’t matter, the war is over. We’re safe now.”

Eren knew Mikasa was right, she always was. It didn’t always make the feelings go away, it was hard to after everything they went through, everything they saw but she always knew how to make him feel better even after all these years. He felt her hands loosen on his arms and he pushed his weight against hers until he was holding himself over her.

She didn’t look mad, only amused, happy. He remembered when he would’ve died to see her smile and now he saw it every day. Well, if he could somehow make her happy, then he must not have done everything wrong.

“Thank you, Mikasa.” He leaned down until his lips were against hers, his body pressed down onto her. He let go of her as he wrapped his arms around her body, her own arms reaching around his neck.

A soft sigh fell from Mikasa’s lips as her mouth moved with his, a sign Eren knew to mean she was content, her fingers playing near the hair on the nape of his neck. It sent chills down his spine, Mikasa being the only person he felt comfortable being that close to his vulnerable spot. His lips moved along her jawline and down her neck until he rested his head on her shoulder.

It was always easier to have dreamless nights when he was close to Mikasa, her fingers in his hair lulling him to sleep and her warm presence reminding him of everything he did fight to protect.

They were safe now.

 


	38. I Can Make You Believe Any Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Can Make You Believe Any Lie
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa & Connie/Sasha  
> Setting: Right after Levi joins them in the cabin between chapter 50 and 51  
> Rating: T (Language)  
> Words: 4124

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from Ryvius who asked for Eren and Connie sneaking out to have a drink and discover the serious and tragic things they have in common, with Mikasa and Sasha coming in to drag their boys back. The whole end half I didn’t have planned but I liked where it went so I kept with it. And you all know chapter 50 still gives us countless and endless stories and feelings. The title is from “Alcohol” by Brad Paisley. I wanted a good country song about drinking for the title okay lmao

Eren stared at the dark ceiling from his bed. No matter how many panels of the wood he counted, sleep just refused to come. Again. He should be exhausted; he spent his days scrubbing this place before Levi got here and yet only images of death came to him when he closed his eyes. So many people died for him…so many people almost died for him and what for? Was it even worth it? Was he even worth it?

“Hey, Eren?”

The voice made him jump before he glanced over at one of the other bed’s in the room. Eren was used to Mikasa’s voice at night when she couldn’t sleep, well, when they were kids at least, but not Connie’s voice. He was normally out cold before anyone else.

“Yeah?” Eren responded, seeing his comrade sitting up in bed.

“Can’t sleep either?” Connie said.

Eren pushed himself up onto his elbows. “Not even a little bit.”

Connie nodded. “Do you want to…?” he gestured to the closed door.

“Yeah, not like it’s gonna do me any good just siting here.” Eren swung his legs over the edge of the bed, feet hitting the cold floor. Connie was already at the door, opening it just enough to slip the both of them out without waking Jean.

“Hey, I heard Hanji talking.” Connie started walking down the nearby staircase. “There’s a town nearby, she was saying, and I know we’re _technically_ supposed to stay put but…” he looked back at Eren with a sly grin. “I gotta get outta here. I just never wanted to go alone, but I figure since you couldn’t sleep either…wanna go?”

Eren’s feet hit the main floor of the cabin as Connie watched him, waiting for an answer. Eren’s first thought was Levi would kill them not if but when he found out and that Mikasa would probably worry if she found him missing but in a brief moment, none of that mattered. Eren was tired of being up all night and he was tired of thinking of everyone else before making a choice for himself. “Yeah, let’s go. I’m tired of being locked up here.” He had a feeling he might regret this later but as he pulled on his boots, Connie holding it a long jacket for him, but Eren still didn’t care.

The night was cool, the mountain air blowing by them as they followed a small path through the high trees that surrounded their hideout

“Are you sure you even know where you’re going? Getting lost in the woods isn’t my idea of fun.” Eren looked up at the moon shining through the dark night and lighting the path.

“So little faith,” Connie scoffed from next to him. “I did stay long enough to make sure I heard the directions from Hanji. Down this path is a town and…” A wide grin spread across his face. “A tavern.”

 “Really? You dragged me out of bed to go drinking?” Eren arched an eyebrow.

The smile fell from Connie’s lips as his eyes looked ahead again. “Don’t you have things you’d rather forget for one night.”

Eren shoved his hands in his pants pocket. “Yeah, don’t we all.”

They were quiet as they followed the slightly hidden path winding down the mountain. Eren never really spent all that much alone time with Connie, who generally spent his time with Jean and Sasha, while Eren spent his time with Mikasa and Armin. He felt a pang of guilt in his chest at the thought of them. Hopefully the both of them would sleep through the night and never know he was gone. Regardless, it was nice to feel like he was going somewhere as opposed to just working around the cabin.

“There!” Connie said, pointing to a bunch of lights that didn’t seem all that far away anymore. “That has to be it.”

Eren couldn’t disagree with that, not when a few minutes later they were walking in the streets of a very quiet town; granted it was probably very quiet because it was some ungodly hour of the night. A few people were walking the street, mainly travelers and people already drunk but no one paid mind to the two boys walking down the road.

Connie was the first one to notice the tavern sign waving in the wind and ushered Eren in quickly. It was a dimly lit place with a few people sitting down at the bar and a few spread out over tables. The door behind them shut with a slam making Eren jump but like outside, no one seemed to notice their presence. Connie seemed far more eager than Eren felt as he sat down at a table near the wall. Eren took a seat too, looking out at the room and hoping no one realized who they were.

“What do ya want?” a bored voice called from the bar towards them.

“Two glasses of whisky, please,” Connie responded and the bartender nodded and got to work on their drinks.

Eren had a brief memory back to when he took a sip of Pixis’ drink and how horrible it tasted, how much it burned his throat. He hoped this was nothing like that, but Eren didn’t have high hopes. He remembered how much he used to get on Hannes for drinking all the time but the thought only gave him a sharp pain to his chest remembering how Hannes died trying to save him. It was so useless cause even after his sacrifice Eren and Mikasa had still been stuck. He risked his life for them and Eren still couldn’t stop it. What good was power you couldn’t even use to help?

He was snapped out of his thoughts when the bar tender dropped down to glasses filled with an amber colored liquid. “Thanks,” Eren murmured as the guy walked away without another glance.

“Well,” Connie said, holding up his glass towards Eren. “To forgetting a bit.”

Eren tapped his glass against Connie’s and placed it to his lips. He could already smell the strong scent of alcohol long before the whisky hit his mouth. Yeah, it was about as bad as the drink in Pixis’ flask. Eren had to practically cover his mouth so he didn’t spit it out all over the table. He swallowed it down and took a deep breath, trying not to cough.

“You okay?” Connie asked, though Eren could hear the amusement in his voice.

“I’m fine,” Eren wheezed. “How can you, uh, drink it so well?”

Connie shrugged. “Just swallow it fast. My dad used to slip me a little when my mom wasn’t looking. I guess I just got used to it.”

Even Eren could hear the tone of his voice change when Connie mentioned his father; Eren understood it all too well. “I’m sorry about what happened to your home, and…your mom.”

“I guess you’d understand better than anyone,” he said, taking another sip of his drink. “Though I expect it was worse, since you were there when it happened.”

“Nah, it’s not worse one way or another, still hurts regardless.” Eren tried another sip himself; it went down a little easier this time, though it still burnt.

“Ain’t that the truth.” Connie paused as silence settled between them. “Did you…actually see it?”

Eren nodded slowly. “Yeah, me and Mikasa did. Hannes too, he was the one who got us away before we were killed.”

“Was that one of the people who were killed when we…oh, shit, I’m sorry, Eren, I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s okay.” Eren tipped his glass back again, this time taking a much larger sip. It stung and he wanted to cough it back up but he held it down; he already started to feel his head swimming. “Yeah, Hannes died trying to save Mikasa and I, again. You know, everyone always tells me how important I am, and how valuable I am. I couldn’t even save half the people who went out to get me, probably more.”

“You know that’s not your fault, they volunteered to go. I was there when we went after you.”

Eren shrugged. “But they shouldn’t have had to risk their lives for nothing like that. What good did it bring? I’m back. Look what good that’s doing for everyone.”

“Because we all would’ve died, if you hadn’t done whatever you did in the fields.”

“But the point is they shouldn’t have been there in the first place.” Another sip. “No one should’ve risked their lives for me. No one should’ve gotten hurt. Mikasa couldn’t even walk. She should’ve never been there; she should’ve never gotten hurt because of me.”

Connie made a sound of understanding. “So that’s what’s makin’ you so upset.”

Eren coughed into his drink, choking down a sip that made his limbs feel light. “What the hell is that supposed to mean.”

“You’ve been significantly more protective of her since we got back from the fields. It makes sense since you had to see her get hurt in front of your eyes.”

“Connie, she almost got _eaten_ in front of my eyes when I was tied up with nothing to do but watch her die. If that wasn’t bad enough I then almost faced the prospect of watching her die at the hands of the same Titan that killed my mom. It wasn’t exactly a good time.”

“I was only saying you’ve just been showin’ like you actually care about her.” Connie was down to half his glass now, far more than Eren had finished, and he wasn’t sure how Connie was managing it. Eren felt like his head was in the sky, that his  body was floating on a cloud, and that nothing in his mind wanted to stay in his mind; especially not when he felt so angry.

Eren slammed the bottom of the glass on the table as he wiped some of the whiskey that was falling down his chin with his sleeve. He felt a whirl of rage fill up inside him, one he couldn’t control even if he had the mental capacity to try. “Don’t you fucking _dare_ say I don’t care about Mikasa. I’ve cared about her since we were nine years old and not once has that changed and it _never_ will.”

“Hey, calm down, there.” Connie held up his hands in defense. “I didn’t mean to offend. I was just saying you had been kinda harsh to her in the past so it’s more noticeable now.”

Eren felt the anger go as quick as it came leaving him only with a sense of guilt, both for snapping at Connie and at the memories of how he treated the person who meant so much to him for so long. If people around them didn’t think he cared about her, then Eren could only imagine how horrible Mikasa herself must have felt at his words and actions.

“I never meant to treat her that way,” Eren mumbled into his glass as he picked it up. “I was just so frustrated. _I’m_ supposed to be the one who protects her, who looks after her, who makes sure she doesn’t get hurt and what do I do? I’m the one who needs the protecting from her and I’m the one who hurts her. I never even wanted her to join the goddamn military let alone the Scouting Legion. I wanted her to stay somewhere safe, somewhere I knew she’d be okay and what does she do? She follows me here and nearly gets herself killed because of me.”

Connie was silent for a moment as he watched Eren, and it dawned on him, that was the first time Eren ever vocalized his feelings about Mikasa to someone before. He suspected Armin knew without him having to say but even just saying it made something lift off Eren’s chest, much like when he managed to carry Mikasa out of that hell. 

“You don’t have to explain to me. I understand.” Connie’s words snapped Eren from his thoughts, causing Eren to be the one to look at him confused. Connie took another large sip of his whisky. “Sasha was missin’ for months it felt like. I had no idea where she went, if she was okay, hell, I thought she was dead. She was always the one I was closest to in this place, and then she was suddenly gone. It wasn’t exactly a good time.”

Eren couldn’t stop himself from cracking a smile at Connie mirroring his words, letting Eren know Connie understood how he felt. Eren never thought he’d sit here and find something in common with Connie. Eren tipped his cup forward to hit against Connie’s again but they both missed causing whisky to slosh out on their hands. They both erupted in laughter before they took sips again.  

“So,” Connie said, placing his cup back on the table. “What made you wanna  join the Scoutin’ Legion? Was it what happened to your mom?”

“Well, that was part of it.” Eren’s head felt so light he could barely focus on Connie sitting in front of him. “I just want to see the world, ya know? It’s like, we are born into the world but we can’t ever even see the world. It’s our birthright, and I wanna live to see that. I wanna take Armin and Mikasa to see the ocean.” He took another sip; he couldn’t even feel the burning sensation anymore. “What ‘bout you?”

“It was my family too but my family made me want to join the MPs not the Scoutin’ Legion. I wanted to make them proud.”

“I still think they’d be pretty proud.”

Connie snorted. “Yeah, proud that I’m not dead.”

“I think my mom would be too.”

“She won’t be too proud when Levi finds out and he whoops your ass until you’re dead.”

Eren nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of Sasha’s voice; he was not expecting that. He looked over, a little too fast causing his head to spin, only to see Sasha, standing by the table with her arms crossed and looking down at both him and Connie. “Hey, Sasha…?” Eren tried but he had to grab onto the table so he didn’t fall out of his chair. “What brings you here?”

“Her.” Sasha jutted her thumb over causing Eren to glance over and see the dark haired girl he knew too well standing behind Sasha.

“Hey…Mikasa,” he tried weakly, knowing he wasn’t just gonna get his ass whooped by Levi.

“Sasha!” Connie exclaimed like he had just seen her there. “Want some?”

“Not tonight, Connie,” she said, though she herself didn’t look very angry. “I’m gonna pay the bartender since I’m sure you numbnuts didn’t think to bring any money and then we’re going back before we all get in trouble.”

Well, she had that right at least.

Eren watched Mikasa who still hadn’t said anything, not that it was surprising but he still couldn’t help but feel a lump in his throat; all he needed to do was make her mad at him again.

“Alright, let’s go.” Sasha reached over to Connie who was dropping off his chair and reached her arm around him, tucking his arm over her shoulder.

“Aww, Sash, c’mon, I can walk.” Connie tried to protest but the way his legs gave out when Sasha lifted him off the seat told him another thing.

Eren stood up to follow them out the door but as he did he felt like the floor was going up to the ceiling; he could barely even see the door, let alone walk to the door. He stumped a few steps forward before hands reached out to catch him. Eren looked up to see Mikasa standing in front of him, her hands against his chest to keep him upright.

“I’m okay,” he mumbled but the more he stood the less okay he felt.

Mikasa reached an arm around his waist, much like Sasha had done with Connie, and started to help him towards the door.

Eren wasn’t sure where they were going since he could only keep his heavy head down at the ground. He saw the ground turn from wood to dirt, the night breeze hitting him and letting him know they were outside. He heard Connie blabbing to Sasha somewhere in front of him but Mikasa was still silent as she took him back up the way they came down first considering he saw the rocky path underneath his feet.

Mikasa held him as he tripped over every rock, stump, root, leaf, whatever was there Eren couldn’t pick his feet up over it. He thought about the words he had spoken to Connie, how he didn’t want Mikasa to always take care of him, but here she was, taking care of him when he had been too stupid to think of the consequences.

His head spun as he tried to look up to see how much longer they had. It wasn’t a good idea. The moment he lifted his head the world turned upside down around him and his stomach lurched. One hand clenched onto his stomach while the other reached for his mouth, but it did no good. He pushed away from Mikasa, falling to his knees while his legs gave out underneath him. He didn’t even make it to the ground before the contents of his stomach came rushing back up and onto the forest ground.

His whole body felt disgusting as his hands hit the ground, trying to choke out what was coming back up due to the alcohol. He felt a hand against his back, rubbing in a calming way that could only be from Mikasa.

“I’m sorry,” he managed out, before another wave of nausea sent his head down again.

“It’s okay.” Her voice was soft, not angry or hard like he expected it to be. “Go on a head, Sasha,” he heard Mikasa call out but he couldn’t hear much after that as his stomach lurched into his throat.

Eren didn’t even know what was left in his stomach to come out but Mikasa just sat by his side, rubbing his back. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve as he sat back on his heels, looking over at her. He felt disgusting; all he wanted to do was go to bed and forget this ever happened. He was glad it was Mikasa but at the same time he was embarrassed she had to see him like this.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice hoarse.

“It’s okay, Eren. It happens to everyone.” She put her arm around him again and helped him up to his feet.

His legs felt like jelly but he managed to lean against her as she helped him up the rest of the path. He just wanted to get to bed, to just go to sleep, but he couldn’t help but look over at Mikasa  in her button up shirt and her long skirt, holding him up like there was nothing wrong in the world. “Hey, Mikasa?”

“Yes.”

“How’d you know I was gone?”

She didn’t answer for a moment as she kept walking. “I couldn’t sleep, so I went to see if you couldn’t either. I noticed you were gone and then I noticed Connie was gone as well. I went to wake Sasha, and she had an idea of where you two went.”

Eren felt guilt hit the pit of his stomach. She came to him and he wasn’t there when she needed him, but she was always there for him. She deserved so much better than him.

“You’re gonna be a good mom, you know.” Eren wasn’t quite sure what possessed him to tell her that, but at that moment he could see her with little kids, maybe a little girl with dark hair and bright eyes, being sick all night and Mikasa’s calm presence just keeping her at ease, just like she always did with him.

“I’m not trying to be your mother.” There was a certain tone in her voice, and Eren knew he hit a nerve.

“No, no,” Eren said. “I didn’t mean that you were. I don’t think of you as my mom, or my sister for that matter. I just meant I could see you, havin’ kids of your own and takin’ care of them.” Eren could see the cabin in the distance, there were almost there. “Do you want kids?”

She was quiet for a moment and Eren only heard the sounds of the forest around them. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to ask her that; he always refrained from speaking about anything involving the future with her. He knew it would be too hard for him if it didn’t come true.

“Yeah, someday,” she finally answered, looking over at him.

“Me too.”

Mikasa snorted, though he wasn’t sure if it was because she found the thought funny or if he just caught her off guard.

“I mean it.” They entered the small opening in front of the cabin. “Don’t think I’d make a good dad?”

“No, Eren, I think you’d make a great dad.” Her voice was full of an emotion that Eren couldn’t quite place. “Just don’t make a habit of drinking whiskey at the dinner table and drive your wife crazy taking care of you.”

Eren thought about what he had told Connie in what seemed like ages ago; about how much he wanted to be the one to protect her, to take care of her, to make her happy for once. He knew how much a family meant to Mikasa, he always knew as much as he hadn’t been ready to hear it but he felt differently now. He had almost lost her right in front of his eyes, and he ever wanted to lose her.

“I dunno, she’s done a pretty great job so far.”

Mikasa halted in her tracks right in front of the steps. She looked over at him, her eyes wide as she looked over at him, the weight of his words hitting her.

Eren wanted to say something more to her, to let her know without a doubt how much she meant to him, how much she always meant to him but the slow creak of the front door opening was enough to make his head snap over.

“If you’re gonna sneak out to drink, at least drink something you can fucking handle, Jaeger.” Levi didn’t quite look like he was amused at Eren and Connie’s late night adventure. In fact, Levi looked more like he was gonna kick Eren’s ass as expected. “Hangover or not you and Springer are cleaning the entire house tomorrow. You better damn think twice before you risk everyone and our plan just to have a drink. Get your ass inside now and without Ackerman’s help.”

Levi didn’t look like he was about to move until Eren did what he said, which wasn’t too much of a surprise. Eren carefully pulled himself away from Mikasa’s grasp, mainly so he wouldn’t fall on his face in the process, and managed to stand by himself. He took a few wobbly steps, his whole body still feeling dizzy and light. He made it all the way up to the second step before the ground came up to his face.

His head would have hit right against the wood if Mikasa hadn’t reached out to grab him before he did.

Levi made a disgruntled noise and said something insulting Eren was sure, but he was having a hard time focusing on anything but Mikasa carefully pulling him back up. For so long told himself to be angry at the hands that always came to save him because it was supposed to be the other way around.

Mikasa helped him up the rest of the stairs without a word, just holding him up when he could barely stand himself.

Why should he be angry when those hands always saved him when he needed her the most? She was always there for him no matter what the circumstances were. There was nothing to be angry over, not anymore, not when Eren felt her compassion in her touch. Since the moment in that field when he used his own hands to fight off a Titan for her, to carry her to safety, to hold her hand when she was hurt, he understood why she did it for all those years. 

Mikasa held the door open while Eren tried not to trip over his own feet. If Levi said anything else Eren wasn’t listening. He just wanted to give back Mikasa everything she had ever given him.


	39. Cause I Want You All To Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cause I Want You All To Myself
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa, Connie/Sasha, Ymir/Historia, & One-sided Jean/Mikasa  
> Setting: Mordern AU;Ymir and Historia’s engagement party in Los Vegas  
> Rating: T (Language and Sexual Situations)  
> Words: 11224 (Holy shit. I can’t believe this beast)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from Kowabungalow who asked for Eren and Mikasa waking up in bed together after a night in Vegas with no memory of how they go there. I loved this prompt, it was so adorable and embarrassing for them xD I did something very different style wise so I do want to explain. Memories are in italics, and with that someone is telling that memory to the group as they try to remember what happened but I wrote the memories in Eren or Mikasa’s POV since they are the POV characters. So while Ymir might be saying the memory, for example, you’ll get Eren or Mikasa’s POV as opposed to Ymir’s. I hope it doesn’t get confusing and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing this super silly fic!
> 
> The title is from one of my all time favorite songs “All To Myself” by Marianas Trench. I highly recommend the song and the band! :D
> 
> Also this is my most current chapter on FF.net so I'm done playing catch up! I'll be uploading my ongoing SnK story here too in a bit ^^

_Connie was practically beaming as he stood in front of the large resort they would be staying in. He turned his head to look back at everyone still trying to grab their bags from the cabs. “You know what they say about Vegas? ‘What-”_

_“We know what they say,” Jean said loudly, dragging his suitcase out of a crammed trunk. “And if you say it one more time you’re sleeping on the balcony.”_

_That seemed to work, thankfully. Eren didn’t think he could take much more of it; a plane ride was enough of Connie running his mouth nonstop, and Jean for that matter; that was one long ass ride. He reached into the open trunk to pull out his suitcase but grabbed the bag onto of it first. A hand on his shoulder caught his attention._

_“Here you go.” Eren passed Mikasa her bag before he pulled out his and her other suitcase._

_“Thank you,” Mikasa said, taking her things and looking up at him. “You holding up okay?”_

_Eren pulled out the last bag in the trunk, placing it on the ground with his. “Is it bad that we just got to Vegas and all I want is some place quiet?”_

_Mikasa chuckled, slinging her bag over her shoulder._

_“Not at all.” Armin walked over to them as Eren held out his luggage. He looked up at the tall and flashy building looking over them. “It’s not exactly our scene.”_

_“Well, let’s change that.” Reiner practically jumped up behind Armin, clasping hands over his shoulders. “Tonight we are going out. All of us. Dress up and bring some luck you hear me?” He gave Armin a tug, dragging him away. “I’ll take care of him don’t worry.”_

_Armin mouthed “Help” as Reiner pulled him to where Bertholdt and Annie were waiting by the door._

_“Should we do something?” Eren shut the trunk of their cab as Connie and Sasha begged Jean to hurry up with his bags nearby._

_“Nah, he’s with Annie. She’ll look after him.” Mikasa tried not to laugh walking beside Eren towards the lobby._

_He sighed as the buildings on the strip loomed over him. “Out all night already? Please tell me you’ll stay and help keep my sanity.”_

_“Ah, yeah,” she nodded, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. “Who else would I hang out with?”_

_Eren glanced at her before taking her bag off her shoulder and tossing it over his. “I meant it. Don’t ditch me for some Fabio stripper in a zebra print speedo and leave me at the mercy of our beloved friends.”_

_Mikasa snorted with laughter. “I’m pretty sure that would be Sasha, not me. I don’t even think her recent dating experience with Connie could hold that back.”_

_He shook his head trying to rid his mind of that mental image before stepping aside to let her go first. Eren followed through the revolving doors to see the largest and brightest lobby he had ever seen. Mikasa was also staring up at the chandelier glistening over the tile floors._

_“Welcome to Vegas, I guess,” he murmured. It was far from the town they all lived it that was for sure._

_“Oh, I think I see male stripper with luscious blond hair already and he’s in a leopard print speedo so he’s still free game.”_

_“You aren’t funny.”_

* * *

 

Mikasa was more than content though she couldn’t quite remember where she was. Regardless there were thick blankets over her, soft sheets under her, an arm draped over her waist holding her close, a warm body pressed up against her…

Her eyes snapped open, seeing the large bedroom suite she was staying in. She was sharing a room with Sasha, but they had their own beds, and this body was too big to be Sasha’s. Mikasa carefully turned her head, remembering she was in Vegas for Ymir and Historia’s engagement party, but that thought only made her nor want to look when nothing else came back to her about the night.

Mikasa knew the face that was so close to hers; she knew it better than her own. As much as she wanted to see Eren cuddling up to her in bed, it wasn’t quite under these contexts that she wanted it.

He heart lept as she jumped away from him, blanket pooling in her lap. It really didn’t help when she saw she was just in her underwear.

“Oh God,” she groaned, trying to close her eyes and remember how she found herself in this situation with the boy she had been in love with for longer than she could remember.

“Jesus,” Eren mumbled as he started to sit up, his eyes still drooping. “What was that…for…” His eyes got wide when he noticed Mikasa sitting nearby, the blankets tussled, and both of them lacking their clothing. “Uh,” he said dumbly as he looked at her, his cheeks turning red, which didn’t help the embarrassment Mikasa was already feeling. “What happened?”

“I don’t know, I was hoping you would.” Her own face felt like it was on fire. It wasn’t even like they never spend the night in the same bed before but waking up in bed with your best friend with no memory of the night before wasn’t exactly something she was used to.

Eren ran his hands through his hair before he shook his head, his eyes staring at the bed. “Nothing, it’s all blank.”

She didn’t even know what to say, she just stared over at him. How did this even happen? Even if she was drunk she promised herself she’d cross that line with him, their friendship was always more important than her stupid feelings.

He tentatively looked back up at her and she almost saw the question on his face. “Did we…ahh…”

As if her face couldn’t get any redder. “I…don’t know.”

Mikasa didn’t know how to feel; one side she couldn’t count the amount of times she dreamed of waking up beside Eren, his arms around her and on the other hand, it was never after a night neither of them could remember. It wasn’t exactly ideal; she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Hey, Mikasa,” Eren started, his eyes still on hers. “I...”

The door swung open causing the both of them to nearly jump out of the bed; Mikasa scrambled to grab the blanket to cover herself up.

“What the fuck is going on here.” Jean looked like he was seething, his face was red and his hands clenched.

“Jesus, Jean, it’s not what it looks like,” Eren said holding his hands up in defense though he arched an eyebrow. “Not that it should matter, it’s not like you’re dating her.”

“I don’t care what the hell went on in here, I want to know why the fuck I have a tattoo on my arm!” Jean turned his body towards them until Mikasa could see some kind of design on his upper arm.

 “Is that…is that a horse?” Eren asked leaning forward to see better but the look on Jean’s face silenced him.

“What. Happened. Last. Night.”

Eren gestured to Mikasa, the bed, and back to himself. “Clearly, I don’t know.”

Jean placed a hand over his eyes as he tried to take a few deep breaths. “This isn’t even the worst of it.”

Before Mikasa could ask what could be worse, Connie popped his head in the door. He let out a low whistle. “Well, it’s about time.”

This was never gonna be anything but embarrassing.

“Connie,” Eren warned but it didn’t matter. Jean grabbed Connie’s left hand, holding it up.

“You got _married_!?” Mikasa’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

“To who?” Eren seemed just as surprised.

Connie grinned sheepishly. “I’m not entirely sure…”

Apparently Mikasa and Eren weren’t the only ones who had a busy night; she looked over at him but he was still staring at Connie. No one seemed to know what to say.

Another door opened, this time from out in the main room of the suite.

“Oh, you guys are awake,” Armin’s voice called out. “I brought coffee, I figured you might need it.”

Jean and Connie turned to look at Armin as he walked to the doorway, coffee cup in hand. His eyes landed on Mikasa and Eren, a grin pulling at his lips. “Some more than others.”

“I know that look, Armin, you know what happened don’t you,” Eren accused causing Armin to laugh.

“C’mon, get dressed and have some coffee.”

Jean opened his mouth but Armin pushed both him and Connie out of the way before closing the door behind them.

Great, Mikasa thought as silence settled between them again. “Is this your room or mine?” she asked trying not to feel awkward; it wasn’t working.

“Mine, I think,” Eren said kicking his feet over the bed and standing up.

“Have you seen my dress?” she started to stand up trying to take the blanket with her considering her room was across the main room if she couldn’t find what she had been wearing.

“Don’t bother,” he waved his hand dismissing the thought. “I’m sure I have some of your clothes you snuck in my luggage for more room.” He sat down by his open suitcase, sifting through clothes. “Shorts,” he tossed the article of clothing over his shoulder. “And a shirt.”

She caught her clothing before quickly pulling them on while Eren did the same with some jeans and a t-shirt.

“After you,” he said pulling open the door.

“Thanks,” Mikasa  mumbled.

Jean and Connie were sitting on the couch; Jean looking miserable and Connie looking like, well Connie. Armin had taken a seat on a nearby chair, clearly waiting on them.

“Out with it, buddy, what happened and where is everyone else?” Eren crossed his arms against his chest as he stood behind the couch.

“Annie and Bertholdt are eating with Ymir and Historia, and the last time I saw Sasha she was on the floor with Reiner,” Armin answered. “But more importantly, what’s the last thing you guys remember?”

* * *

 

_“Mikasa,” Sasha cooed rushing over to her. “Where did you get that dress? It’s lovely.”_

_Mikasa shrugged, using her fingers to run wrinkles out of the red material. “It was on sale.” She was actually a little uncomfortable in the short dress, tugging the sides down at Sasha’s attention. It had a tight halter bodice with a loose skirt hanging down mid-thigh, but it just wasn’t her thing. Unfortunately Vegas demanded it; rather Reiner demanded it._

_Sasha was wearing a blue dress that was a little more fluffy and fun but it fit Sasha better. “Come on,” she said opening the door to the main room. “Ready!” she announced the moment she stepping into room. Connie made a cat call while Sasha spun around._

_Mikasa didn’t see Eren yet but his door was still closed. She started to walk over hoping the others would just ignore her so she could get to Eren without much attention but she really shouldn’t have been surprised when she saw Jean step in front of her._

_“Hey,” he said a smile on his lips and his hands behind his back._

_“Hello,” Mikasa greeted, though she thought it was silly considering he sat in front of her on the plane not even an hour ago._

_“You look really nice.”_

_She shifted her weight on her feet. “Thanks, uh so do you.” Jean was wearing a dress shirt and some slacks, so yeah, he looked nice tonight._

_“Do you need an escort tonight?” His face looked so hopeful that Mikasa felt some guilt in her stomach at the words she knew she was going to say. Jean joined their friend group in college, being brought along by Connie and Sasha one night, and Mikasa long knew of his crush on her. Unfortunately, her affections always laid elsewhere and in Jean’s rival for just about everything._

_“I already promised someone,” she said giving him a weak smile; Eren’s door behind Jean started to open. “I’m sure we’ll hang out over the weekend though.” She hurried around him, desperately to get away from that awkward situation._

_Eren was looking down trying to button up his dress shirt; he wore his dark jeans as opposed to slacks which she knew he hated to wear. She reached out to help him with the buttons._

_“Thanks, this stupid thing just won’t line up.”_

_“Have you ever worn something with buttons before?” Mikasa buttoned up his shirt almost to the top but left a few open, his undershirt popping out some._

_Eren grunted but he didn’t say anything, though she could feel his eyes on her._

_“There,” she said, stepping a few steps back. “At least you look put together now.”_

_“You look…” Eren’s eyes wouldn’t leave her, looking down at the bright material, causing heat to rise up in her cheeks. “Nice dress.”_

_“Come on, Ymir and Historia are probably waiting for us,” Jean said from the front door of the room, back to his usual grumpy self._

_It only took a few minutes for all of them to take an elevator down to the floor though it was a little loud with Connie and Sasha not being able to contain their excitement. They were dropped off right in front of the entrance to the casino, the bright, flashing lights and loud rings and buzzes filling Mikasa’s senses._

_“You guys’re the first ones down!” Ymir boomed from a table just inside the entrance._

_“And you’re a little drunk,” Eren said, leading them into the slightly darkened area. Historia was sitting at the table, giving them a wave and a wide smile. Both Ymir and Historia were dressed up as well, both in styles that fitted their personalities perfectly and Mikasa wasn’t surprised to see the table was full of cups filled with different drinks._

_“And so will you be.” Ymir gestured to the table. “One for each on us.”_

_“Are we gonna regret this?” Jean asked, eyeing the liquid in the cup he picked up._

_“Never,” Ymir said, picking up one of the cups herself and tipping it back._

_Eren picked up two cups, while Connie and Sasha downed theirs, and passed one to Mikasa. “Cheers.”_

_She tipped her cup to him before placing it to her lips._

* * *

 

“Dammit, Ymir. She slipped something in those drinks!” Jean exclaimed.

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” Connie grumbled, his chin propped up on one of his hands.

Eren was apt to agree but he was stuck on remembering ogling Mikasa and his extremely smooth compliment. Though, he did wake up in bed with her, and it was probably just going to get more embarrassing from here. His best friend, how in God’s name did he end up in bed with his best friend? He didn’t even want to think about how much he had been enjoying himself, how much he never wanted to move before it dawned on him what was going on. It was bad enough he couldn’t even look at her without feeling like his face was on fire.

“Yeah, but, Armin seems to be fine and smug, you bastard,” Eren said trying to keep his mind in the matter at hand.

“Maybe he didn’t drink?” Connie asked.

“No, I did,” Armin said, standing up and walking towards the front of the room. “And I also remember whose bed I slept last night.” He clasped his hand on Eren’s shoulder. “Let’s get your memories back.” Armin was still grinning.

Oh, he was so going to pay for this. “Can you at least tell me-”

“No,” Armin was already heading to the door. “You all need to remember on your own. Plus this is pretty hilarious.”

Eren begged to differ, and the way Jean stormed after Armin Eren figured he wasn’t alone. “Is this because we abandoned you to Reiner yesterday?”

“Oh, no. This is because the stories leading up to this morning are way better than even I could tell you.”

That wasn’t reassuring.

The silence in the elevator was nearly unbearable; Armin was calmly sipping his coffee, Connie was fidgeting against the wall, Jean still looked like he was gonna self-combust in anger, and Mikasa, Eren didn’t even know what to feel about the girl standing next to him.

What if this was all his fault? What if they got drunk and he tried something, the kind of things he always wanted with her, and Mikasa, also being drunk, went along with it and it ended up with them in bed together in the morning. The thought made his stomach sink with sickening guilt. Mikasa deserved so much better than that, she deserved better than him. He was always so careful not to get drunk around her, afraid his long pushed away feelings would arise in a moment of weakness. How did this happen?

He ran his hand through his hair as the elevator doors opened, dropping them off at the same place as last night. Eren tried to peer into the casino trying to see if anything triggered past that last memory but Armin was leading them down a different hallway. He stopped in front of some glass doors before using his door key to open the door.

The humid Nevada air it Eren the moment he followed Armin out. There were more than a few pools out here, in fact it looked more like a full sized water park than anything.

“There you guys are,” Historia waved from a nearby table, overlooking a waterfall that led to another pool. “You just missed Annie and Betholdt.”

“That’s okay,” Jean grunted. “We want to talk to her.”

Ymir was sitting nearby, sunglasses over her eyes and a straw in her mouth as she drank from her cup. She leaned forward when they gathered around the table, tilting her sunglasses up so she could see them. “Nice tattoo, Jean. It goes well with your complexion.”

Connie grabbed a hold of Jean to keep him from lunging at her. “What did you put in our drinks, please?” Connie asked struggling to hold Jean in place.

Ymir snorted, placing her sunglasses back over her eyes and sitting back in the chair. “What makes you think I did anything?”

“Jean has a tattoo and Connie is married,” Armin answered simply.

Historia clasped her hand over her mouth though Eren couldn’t tell if she was stifling a gasp or a laugh.

“Who ended up in bed together? Don’t look at me like that, Jaeger, there’s always one. Oh.” Ymir lifted up her sunglasses again. “It was you two wasn’t it.”

“Don’t look so surprised,” Eren grumbled, crossing his arms against his chest and trying to ignore his hot face.

Ymir dropped her sunglasses. “I’m not. It’s not interesting when it was always gonna happen.”

Mikasa made some kind choked noise but when Eren looked over she was looking at anyone but him and Ymir.

“Can you just tell us what happened?” Jean stopped trying to jump Ymir but he didn’t look pleased about it, not that he ever looked pleased about much.

Ymir shrugged. “I only saw you guys for a bit after but okay.”

* * *

 

_Eren placed his cup back down on the table, at least he thought he did. The room was spinning a little bit and he couldn’t really see the table. Wow, that was stronger than he was expecting. He felt a hand on his shoulder as the room started to focus again._

_“Are you okay?” Mikasa was asking. She sounded distant at first, despite being rather close._

_“What was that?”_

_Mikasa shrugged but there was a smile on her face. “Dunno.” She leaned around him to try and catch Ymir’s attention but she was already downing another cup with Historia._

_“We are going,” Connie announced, gesturing to Sasha who gave some kind of lopsided curtsey._

_Jean was still working on his drink. “Going where?”_

_“To catch penguins,” Sasha rolled her eyes. “To gamble of course.”_

_“We’ll meet up when the other’s get down,” Historia called as Sasha started to back away. Connie had to pull her out of the way from walking into an older woman but when he did he only succeeded in knocking them both into a slot machine._

_“Oh no,” Jean said, downing the rest of the drink and tossing the cup aside. “You’re not leaving me with these two of all people.”_

_“I’m not sure if I should be offended or excited,” Eren said causing a fit of laughter from Mikasa. He turned to face her. “Well, we could wait for everyone else or we could just get on with the deal we made earlier.”_

_“Where I don’t leave you for a beautiful blonde stripper.”_

_“That’s the one.” He held his arm out towards her, not really caring about much else than it really hitting him he got to be with her all night._

_She was about to take it when another hand came out of nowhere and grabbed a hold of it before Eren could. He expected it to be Armin, Reiner even, maybe Jean coming back to decide to be an ass but no, the person standing in front of Mikasa, holding her hand was no one Eren had ever seen before in his life. He felt a twitch of irritation in his stomach. Who the hell was this guy?_

_“Well, it’s a lucky day already to come across such a beautiful lady,” the man said, a smile on his lips._

_Eren was pretty sure Mikasa would’ve punched him in the face for grabbing her hand like that but instead she smiled back._

_“Thank you,” she nodded._

_Apparently, Eren wasn’t the only one feeling out of themselves. The guy didn’t look too much like a creep; he was probably around their age, dressed up for the night as well. Regardless, Eren couldn’t hold back a glare, his arms crossing against his chest._

_The man seemed to get the hint, dropping Mikasa’s hand with a glance at Eren. “I think I’ve pissed off your boyfriend.”_

_Another twitch of annoyance. “I’m not her boyfriend.”_

_That was the wrong thing to say; Eren didn’t even think anyone but Jean could have that level of shit eating grin._

_“If that’s the case…” The man leaned in trying to snake an arm around her waist, tugging her towards him. “I’ll just borrow her for a few hours. Don’t worry, Dad, I’ll have her back before the sun rises.”_

_That twinge of annoyance suddenly turned into a surge of anger the moment that guy put his hands on her. If he thought he could just come up and touch her like that, oh, he had no idea what was coming from him. If that wasn’t enough, the look of pretty clear displeasure on Mikasa’s face pushed Eren over the edge._

_Mikasa was more than capable of taking care of herself but that didn’t stop Eren from punching the bastard right in the face, knocking him to the ground. It felt a lot better than he thought it would, save for the sudden ache in his hand._

_“I don’t know what was in that drink, but thank you,” Eren said, shaking his now throbbing hand._

_“Eren,” Mikasa’s voice was surprised but not angry. She took his hand in hers, running her fingers over his knuckles. “You really didn’t have to do that.”_

_“I know, but I really wanted to.”_

_“It would be you to get in a fist fight right off the bat.” Ymir had draped one arm over Mikasa and the other over Eren as she stuck her head in between them. “And I really hate to interrupt your fine display of masculinity but I suggest you take off before that one,” she gestured to the guy now getting back to his feet and not looking too happy. “Calls security.”_

_“Good point,” Eren said. He’d rather not get kicked out after they made him dress up. “Shall we?”_

_Mikasa was trying not to laugh, but she nodded._

_“See you guys later.” Eren took a hold of her hand, like he had been trying to before, and slipped behind a row of nearby slot machines. He led her through the maze of rows of just about every kind of gambling game he could imagine, past some black jack tables, past a bar, the lights and sounds making the whole area seem surreal, and he didn’t stop until he felt like they were deep enough to blend in again._

_“How’s your hand?” Mikasa asked, sitting down at an empty slot machine._

_Eren turned around to see some nearby poker tables behind him before he leaned against the machine. He shrugged as he looked back over to her, not being able to hold back a smile. “It was worth it.”_

_Mikasa looked like she wanted to say something but she was too busy biting back a smile of her own._

_“Drinks?” a waitress asked holding a tray out to them._

_Well, why not? Eren fished out some money he had shoved in his pocket and placed it on the try before grabbing two and passing one to Mikasa._

_She brought it to her lips as he did the same, tasting the sweet flavors mixed with the sharp alcohol._

_“Here,” Eren said, digging in his pocket again before placing a quarter in her hand. “They say lady luck wears a red dress.”_

_She rolled her eyes but snorted into her drink. “Don’t be so corny.” She dropped the quarter into the machine, causing it to make some noises. “Ready?” Mikasa asked as she placed her hand on the lever._

_Eren downed the rest of his drink. “Ready.”_

* * *

 

Mikasa wanted to hide her face in her hands at the way everyone was staring at her and Eren but she supposed it was far too late for that now. She hoped she wouldn’t be this embarrassed this early in the memories of the night but it wasn’t off to a good start. Mikasa also really wished the butterflies from the vague memory would go away.

“You punched someone out?” Armin asked, still trying to wipe off the coffee he spit down his shirt.

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” Eren snapped. He didn’t sound angry, just flustered. “This stranger came out and grabbed her so I did want anyone would do.”

“Eren, I’m pretty sure only you would think that was a reasonable thing to do,” Connie piped up from around Jean.

“Don’t even talk, you got married to God knows who.”

“Alright, knock it off,” Ymir said, pointing her straw at them. “You asked me what happened, and that was the last time I saw any of you until just now.”

“So what we know right now is,” Jean said, his hand against his forehead. “I left with Connie and Sasha, and Eren and Mikasa ran off somewhere too. That barely helps us considering we somehow lost Sasha since she wasn’t there in the morning. We don’t even know if she remembers anything.”

“I haven’t seen her or Reiner all morning,” Historia took a sip of her drink. “Just Armin, Annie, and Bertholdt and as far as I could tell they all had their memories of the night.”

“So what now?” Connie asked, looking towards Armin.

“All of you headed into the casino, so let’s head into the casino.” Armin gestured with his cup back to the doors. “Maybe we can find Sasha and see if she remembers anything. Thanks guys, we’ll meet up again once we get this night settled.” He waved to Ymir and Historia before ushering the others back towards the doors.

Well, at least Mikasa knew her night started with Eren and ended with Eren; it was what happened in between that was still bothering her. Everything was hazy, but she did remember Eren coming to her defense, and she remembered how it made her feel. Eren wasn’t necessarily defensive of her; he knew she really could handle most anything on herself. Though his sometimes gruff exterior tended to chase off or clash with any of the guys she had tried to date in the past; of course given the choice between some guy and Eren, she always chose Eren.

Mikasa followed behind him as Jean and Connie followed Armin. She knew for a long time Eren was all she wanted, the person she loved, and the memory of him not wanting to let anyone take her away from him made her heart both soar and ache knowing it was a drunken memory.

“Hey, Armin,” Eren called as the blond opened the glass doors back to the resort. “If you knew everything that happened, then why were you so surprised at Ymir’s story?”

“I don’t know everything that happened, I wasn’t trailing you guys around or anything,” Armin said, letting the door close behind him. “I know where Jean’s tattoo came from cause I was there. Don’t look at me like that, Jean, I am not gonna be the one to open that can of worms. I know how you and Mikasa ended up together but not anything before that regarding your nightly escapades.”

“And me?” Connie brought up hopefully, his pace speeding up some as they continued down the hallway.

“Your mystery woman is a mystery to me as well.” Armin gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m assuming only the others in your room this morning know what happened with that.”

Connie looked like he was trying to not looked bothered by it but Mikasa knew he had to be nervous on the whole matter. She wouldn’t even know what to think if she woke up with a ring on her finger, Vegas or not.

Armin led them right into the Casino area, the lights and noises still as overwhelming as that first time she poked her head in yesterday. Despite the fact it was probably around 10 in the morning, the casino was just as busy as it Mikasa remembered it looking, well, as much as she remembered it that is. Granted, there were a lot of older woman as they walked past the first row of slot machines and deeper into the large casino. Armin didn’t stop; he just kept weaving them all through the rows and tables, through the people and the staff walking by. A group of people let out a loud cheer, causing Mikasa to try and look to see what was going on but she couldn’t tell where it was coming from. She was aware that casino’s intentionally have no windows and keep the lights to a very particular setting to make people keep gambling, but she never really noticed how much of an affect that had until this morning.

“Okay,” Armin said finally, turning around to face them as he stopped at a wide staircase leading up to another level of the casino. “This is where I ran into Jean, Mikasa, and Eren last night. Connie and Sasha weren’t with you at this point and Jean already had plans for the tattoo but didn’t have it yet. I thought bringing you here might trigger something aside from what I remember.”

“Have any idea what time you saw us?” Jean grunted.

Armin shook his head. “Unfortunately it’s nearly impossible to keep time in here, and Reiner took my phone from me. I’m pretty sure he still has it wherever he may be.”

Eren was looking around, his brow furrowed in concentration, while Connie leaned up against the nearby railing his eyes mainly on the floor. Mikasa looked behind her, across from the stairwell, trying to see if there was anything over there. Really, it was just some slot machines, but one seemed to have a little bit brighter of lights. She squinted to see the title of it.

“ _Back to the Future,”_ she said to herself as she read the words across the top. Huh. _Back to the Future_ was one of Eren’s favorite movies; she couldn’t even count the amount of times she’d watched it with him and Armin. She was pretty sure Jean had been forced through it once as well, but him and Eren just fought over characters and plot points the whole time.

Her hands flew over her mouth. “Oh,” she said, as she felt the other’s eyes on her.

* * *

 

_“I have no idea why you’re refusing to let me play poker,” Eren said as he walked beside Mikasa down the walkway between tables. “I’m pretty sure I could beat them all. Will you stop laughing already?” He nudged her with her body but it didn’t stop the hysterical laughing that Mikasa couldn’t control._

_“Eren,” she choked, wiping the tears from her eyes as she bumped back into. “You can’t lie, you’d be horrible at poker!”_

_He looked down at her an expression of mock outrage that only made her laugh even more. “How could you possible say that. I can pull the wool over anyone’s eyes.”_

_Mikasa wasn’t sure what was so funny about Eren trying to play poker but she had a feeling those two other drinks the waitress brought them had a huge part of it. “No, you can’t.” She reached up to place a hand on his face. “Your eyes give you away every time.”_

_Eren stopped walking as he watched her and Mikasa had a hard time looking away. It was always his eyes, those bright eyes she loved so much; they always told her what was going on in that head of his, and betrayed his emotions every time._

_“There you guys are,” Jean said, in a tone that was lighter than his normal heavy tone._

_Mikasa’s hand dropped from Eren’s face as their friend walked up to meet them, her face heating up but what for she wasn’t exactly sure. “Hey, I thought you were with Connie and Sasha?”_

_Jean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, they went to the all you can eat buffet. I decided that wasn’t something I cared to witness. I’ve just been trying to find the others but I have no idea where they went.”_

_“I haven’t seen Armin since Reiner dragged him away,” Eren mused glancing around the area. “Hey look!_ Back to the Future!” _He was already gone, walking over to the nearby machine._

_Mikasa snorted trying to cover her mouth but she followed him, Jean close by._

_“Ah, wow, this brings back memories,” he said, running his hands over the flashing slot machine._

_“Memories of last week? Cause I’m pretty sure that was the last time you watched it.”_

_Eren chose to ignore Mikasa and instead pulled out one of quarters that were in his pocket from when he cashed some money a little bit ago. “A game like this? I’m bound to be lucky with.”_

_“Oh please, more like you and your bad opinions on the movie are going to give you bad luck. You actually like the third movie.” Jean was leaning up against the side of the machine, arms crossed._

_Eren stuck his finger out at him. “Don’t bring your bad juju here, you hear me?”_

_Jean looked like he was about to snap back but Mikasa thought this was getting silly. “Boys, you’re at a casino. Why don’t you, I don’t know, see which one of you wins.”_

_“Oh, I like that,” Jean said, clearly in on the idea._

_“Fine by me, but this is Vegas.” A grin crossed Eren’s lips. “Loser has to do something big.”_

_Jean thought for a moment before a similar grin crossed his face. “Loser has to get a tattoo of the winner’s decision.”_

_“Deal.” Eren stuck his hand out and Jean shook it._

_Mikasa wanted to say that wasn’t what she meant at all but Eren already dropped his quarter and let the game go. She wasn’t sure if he got a good spin or not but he let out a cheer before Jean nudged him out of the seat._

_Within moments of Jean dropping his quarter and letting the machine go, Mikasa was pretty sure he greatly regretted the deal they had made. Sad little noises spouted from the machine as Marty Mcfly gave some pathetic line._

_“Oh, Jean, you should never show your distaste of anything_ Back to the Future _in front of the machine.” Eren was practically cackling. “Hmm I wonder what design I should give you.”_

_“Your dumbass better make it good,” Jean snapped standing up from the machine, clearly not about to back down from their drunken bet._

_“Hey,” Eren held his hands up in defense, still laughing. “It was your idea.”_

_“There you guys are!”_

_Mikasa turned her head towards the stairwell after hearing the voice she hadn’t for most of the night. Armin was walking down the stairs with Annie behind him; they both looked nice together as Mikasa waved to them._

_“Armin!” Eren exclaimed, practically running over to him. “Tell me, where is the nearest tattoo parlor?”_

_Armin arched an eyebrow at him before looking to Mikasa and a slightly flushed Jean. “Dare I ask?”_

_“Nah, don’t worry about it, buddy.”_

_“Take a left down the back corridor,” Annie said, stepping down next to Armin. “I saw one when we walked by.”_

_“Awesome,” Jean said with quite a bit of distaste._

_Armin turned to look at her. “Are you sure that was a good idea?”_

_Annie just shrugged in response causing Armin to shrug as well._

_“Well, okay. We’re about to head over to some of the tables, want to join?”_

_Mikasa wanted to say, yes, to get Eren and Jean from doing something ridiculous; even if she was a little tipsy, she still knew getting a tattoo was a very bad idea. Before she could though, Eren dropped his arm over her shoulders, causing her to look up at him._

_He was grinning again. “Thanks, Armin, but we’ve got something else to do. Come on, Jean, a deals a deal.”_

_“God help me,” he groaned but even Mikasa knew he had to be pretty wasted to be going along with this ridiculous plan._

_“Good luck,” Annie said, dragging Armin away before he could object any more._

_“You heard the woman,” Eren said, gesturing to the back hallway. “March onward.”_

_“Are you sure you want to do this to him?” Mikasa asked, Eren’s arm still around her shoulders. His body was warm against hers and she wanted to pull away to not let herself act like this with him, after drinks or not, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t bring herself to leave his side. She wanted to just tell him, to make that ache in her chest just go away for once in her life._

_“Oh yeah, you bet I do.”_

_“Guys!” Connie’s voice called out causing them to turn around. He was running with Sasha right behind him. He grabbed a hold of her hand the moment they skidding to a stop. “Guess what?”_

_“What?” Jean asked his arms across his chest._

_“We’re gonna get married!” Sasha clasped her other hand against Connie’s, a wide grin on both their faces._

_Mikasa stared at them, unsure those words had just come from their lips; even Eren didn’t have anything to say on the matter. Jean grabbed a drink off a waitress walking by and proceeded to drink it down._

* * *

 

Connie was sitting on the steps, his face in his hands.

“A horse, really, Jaeger? All the things in the world and you pick a horse to be put on my arm?” Jean snarled, clearly the only thing that had him concerned about the whole memory.

“Aww, come on, it was a bet,” Eren said. He felt bad, he really did. It was a dumb bet and now it was something Jean would never forget; he wasn’t about to apologize quite yet though. Maybe he could get his dad to pay for tattoo removal or him, it’s not like it was weirdest thing his dad had to bail him out of before. “And I was drunk, it could have been worse. Be thankful it wasn’t…”

Jean looked like he was about to snap with the vein that was practically popping out of his head but the words caught in his throat when he saw Mikasa moved to sit next to Connie. “I need to go before I kill him. I’ll be back,” Jean said before turning and leaving the area.

“Are you okay?” Mikasa asked, her voice soft.

Connie nodded before lifting up his head to look at her. “Yeah, just embarrassed.” He gave her a weak smile. “How stupid, marrying my girlfriend of only one month in Vegas.”

Eren watched Mikasa as she put her hand on Connie’s back, letting him know that it was okay, that it wasn’t stupid, that their intentions probably were true. She was pretty quiet all morning and rightfully so, they all had shock this morning, but there she was trying to make Connie feel a little better.

“Are you surprised?” Armin asked, almost making Eren jump; he hadn’t noticed the blonde standing next to him.

“Not really,” Eren shrugged. “I mean, I hoped it was someone he knew and not some strange woman he met in the casino.”

“I am. I expected it to be you.”

“You expected me to have married Connie?”

Armin rolled his eyes. “I expected you and her,” he gestured towards Mikasa. “To be the ones in the chapel. But, I guess in bed is close enough.”

“Armin.” Eren side glanced at him, his jaw clenched. “Don’t start.” It wasn’t the first time Armin had voiced his opinion on the matter of his two best friends, and it wasn’t the first time Eren didn’t want to hear it. It was bad enough a sickening jolt stuck his mind.

He groaned the sudden memories flashing through his head. “Jesus, I remember what happened at the wedding.”

* * *

 

_The wedding was short, well, at least Eren thought it was but he wasn’t exactly used to Vegas weddings. The minister, er, well, the guy dressed up as Elvis said some short vows, Connie and Sasha said “I Do”, and kissed the bride. The audience tossed rice as they walked down the aisle, though Eren was pretty sure Jean was pegging rice at the back of his head._

_Connie and Sasha were dancing around the small reception center, though hip hop was an interesting choice for a first dance. Eren took a sip from the complimentary champagne feeling the buzz in his head from all the alcohol he had drank in what felt like such a short time. Mikasa was sitting next to him, her drink on her lips while Jean sat across the room, staring daggers over at them._

_“It doesn’t look that bad, you big baby,” Eren yelled over, but judging by the scowl on Jean’s face, he didn’t agree._

_“Stop antagonizing him,” Mikasa said but she was trying not to laugh herself._

_Eren snorted as he leaned back in his chair; this was honestly a little ridiculous but whatever, they were adults they could do what they wanted. Eren glanced over to Mikasa who was staring down at her drink, eyes on the table. She seemed to be having a good night, at least he thought she was enjoying herself but her eyes looked downcast now, like she was upset or sad. Eren reached over and pulled her chair closer to his._

_“What’s wrong?” he asked. “And don’t say nothing, I know it’s something.” He tipped his glass to his lips, letting the bubbly liquid fill his mouth._

_She looked up at him, her face flushed. “Do you wanna get married?”_

_Eren spit out his drink over the table._

_“Not right now, idiot,” she chuckled, patting him on the back. “I meant someday. Someday do you want to marry someone.”_

_“Well, yeah,” he coughed, wiping the drink off his mouth. “Someday.” She nearly gave him a heart attack. Jesus. He looked back over to her; her eyes were down in her lap. “What about you?” he nudged her lightly._

_“Yeah,” she nodded. “I do.”_

_“How come you never bring any boys home then?” He was teasing of course. Eren had enough of those goons she used to date; he was more than happy to have her to himself in their apartment with Armin._

_Mikasa shrugged, clearly not enjoying the question very well and Eren saw it. He saw the frown on her lips, the way she wasn’t looking back up to him, but he was having trouble keeping his words in his mouth._

_“Really? No one has caught your eyes? I find that hard to believe.”_

_She looked up at him again, her teeth biting at her bottom lip. She looked like she wanted to say something but was hesitant._

_Eren’s heart sunk a little; so there was someone. “Who is it then? You can tell me.” He nudged her again. “You can tell me anything, you know that.”_

_Mikasa still didn’t say anything, she just watched him with those eyes of hers. He was about to ask her again but before he could Mikasa reached her hands out to place them on either side of his face. She pulled him towards her until her lips were smashed against his. He barely had a moment to processes what was going on through his spinning head before she pulled away, her hands over her mouth and her eyes wide._

_He started at her, completely at a loss of what to say. Did she just…? Did Mikasa really just…?_

_“Eren,” she said through her fingers. “I’m so sorry. I’m-”_

_Eren reached over to pull her hands away and pressed his mouth to hers, a little bit gentler than her rash action before. He knew he shouldn’t, he knew he shouldn’t have let her but he couldn’t do it, not when heat filled his stomach at the feeling of her lips on his, not when he wanted it for so long. The way her lips moved against his only made it that harder to pull away, his breath panting against her face._

_Mikasa’s eyes fluttered open as she met his eyes, her face flushed from the alcohol or the kiss he wasn’t quite sure._

_“How long?” he asked, one hand still resting on her cheek._

_She laughed lightly. “A long time.”_

_“Me too.”_

_Her breath hitched in her throat as her wide eyes looked at him. “You…?”_

_“Yeah,” he breathed. “I-”_

_“Hey!” Connie shouted behind them, causing Eren to nearly jump out of his chair. “I think,” he started though the look on his face was anything but him thinking. “You guys need another drink.” He pulled out a bottle of champagne and popped the top, pouring the spewing sizzling liquid over both Eren and Mikasa’s heads._

_Sasha came to their rescue but much too late. Eren was already wiping is sopping brown locks his eyes when she dragged Connie away. Mikasa looked just as soaked, her red dress a shade darker than it was before but she was laughing. “Your hair,” she wheezed._

_“Okay,” Eren snorted, a smile pulling at his lips. “I think I’ve had more than enough to drink now.”  He stood up holding his hand out to her. “Do you…?”_

_A different kind of smile was on her lips. “Yeah,” she said as she took his hand to help herself up. Instead of letting go when she was steady, he laced his fingers with hers. Eren felt her eyes on him but he didn’t care right now._

_The chapel was in the casino, of course, so Eren led Mikasa back through the rows of slot machines, the tables, the penny slots. People eyed them as their clothes were dripping, their hair still soaking wet but it was okay; Eren’s head was buzzing, his body light, and he couldn’t stop looking over at Mikasa just to make sure she was still there. She was, and she was still smiling._

_“Did you two take a swim?” Reiner’s deep voice called out, waving from a nearby slot machine._

_“Yeah, in champagne,” Eren said rolling his eyes, but Reiner look ecstatic._

_“They have a swimming pool full of champagne?”_

_“Uh, maybe somewhere?”_

_Annie placed her hands on Reiner’s shoulders and pushed him back down in his seat at the slot machine. “Focus on one thing at a time and I’ve think you’ve had enough to drink.”_

_Armin’s head popped up from behind them with Bertholdt sitting nearby. “What happened to you two?”_

_“Connie happened. Need I say more?” Eren shrugged, but his shirt was sticking uncomfortably to his shoulders and every part of his body for that matter. “We’re gonna call it a night though. I’ll see you guys in the morning.”_

_Eren watched Armin’s eyes drop to his hand still holding onto Mikasa’s before a sly grin crossed his lips. Armin opened his mouth probably to say something snarky but Eren wasn’t giving him the chance._

_“Shove it, Armin.” He tugged on Mikasa to get her to walk away quickly before Armin could open his big mouth. He watched her wave as she followed behind but it was too late._

_“I hope you have a safe night!” Armin called out._

_Eren decided it was better not to say anything back or they all might see the heat that rushed to his cheeks. He just kept walking until they reached one of the exits back into the hotel. Mikasa didn’t say much as she followed him not even when they were in the elevator alone. He looked over at her a few times during the ride; she still didn’t look upset, she looked happy more than anything. He knew he should probably say something about it all, but his head still felt like it was floating in the clouds and it was hard to pinpoint just what he wanted to say to her._

_She led them out of the elevator and back to the room they were sharing with Sasha, Jean, and Connie. Mikasa missed the key card completely the first time causing her to laugh when Eren reached over to help her get the card in the slot. The door swung open and unsurprisingly no one was there. Connie and Sasha were still celebrating their wedding more than likely and Jean was probably fuming somewhere, regardless it left them alone._

_“C’mon,” Eren nudged her with his shoulder. “Let’s get out of Connie’s handy work and into something that doesn’t reek of alcohol.”_

_Mikasa nodded. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it quickly and Eren couldn’t help but notice her cheeks turning red. “Is it, ah, okay if I come with you? Incase Connie and Sasha want our room for…their honeymoon I guess?”_

_“That’s something I don’t need to think about and yeah, I’m sure I have pjs or something you can wear.” He shrugged like it was nothing but he felt his heart pounding in his chest making his head spin. He reached out to a nearby table to steady his balance as he walked over to his room._

_He heard Mikasa behind him, and heard her close the door when they were both in the room. He quickly unbuttoned his soaking shirt and tossed it into the bathroom before slipping off his pants, shoes, and socks as well leaving him just in his underwear. It felt better to be out of those gross clothes but before he could reach for dry clothes in his suitcase, he heard a small noise of frustration from Mikasa._

_Her back was to him, but one hand was reached behind her trying to get the zipper of her dress to move more than a few inches._

_“Here, let me help,” Eren said as he walked the short distance to where she was standing. She had managed to get a bit of the zipper down, more of her bare back showing than already was. Eren reached out and carefully unzipped the rest of the dress for her. As much as he didn’t want to admit, Eren couldn’t take his eyes off her._

_He carefully brushed his fingers against her back, pushing aside the fabric of the dress as he laid his hand against her skin. She was so soft, so warm; he just wanted to wrap his arms around her and not let go. He saw a visible shiver go through her body but before he could pull her close to him like he desperately wanted, she turned around to face him. There was an expression on her face, one he didn’t think he saw before as she looked up at him._

_Mikasa reached one of her hands to the knot behind her neck that was holding her dress up; with one pull the still wet dress fell to her ankles. She picked it up and tossed it behind Eren into the bathroom before looking back up to meet his eyes._

_Eren wasn’t sure if it was him or if it was her but all he knew was her arms were around his neck, and his arms around her as their lips met. He couldn’t stop moving his mouth with hers, his hands gripping onto her bare waist as he held onto her; he couldn’t get enough of the way she tasted, the way she felt against his skin._

_He wanted to pull her as close as to him as he could but she beat him to it. Mikasa tightened her arms around his neck as she pressed her body up against him; their bare skin brushing against each other in a way then sent Eren moaning into her mouth. This was different than any other girl. This was Mikasa and this was all he ever wanted. Nothing else mattered._

_His hands slid down her back grasping down to her ass causing Mikasa to gasp against him. She seemed to recover well enough since the next thing Eren knew her legs were wrapped firmly round his waist as he held her up against him. She broke their kiss, pressing her head against his forehead as she looked at him. Eren didn’t have to ask though, he could tell the look in her eyes easily enough._

_Eren carefully carried her over to his bed until her back was against the blankets and his body hovering over hers, her legs still wrapped around his waist. She pulled his head back down to hers, kissing him fiercely. He only obliged, pressing his body down against hers though he very well knew the thin material of his briefs was doing nothing to hide how hard he was. Mikasa didn’t seem to mind though, not with the way her hips her rolling into his._

_He broke away from her lips, groaning against her jaw as small cries left her mouth. God, how long had he wanted to hold her like this, to touch her, to kiss her, to just have her to himself. His lips trailed along her jawline, going down to her neck; his teeth nipping lightly at her soft skin. He moved his lips back up to her face but he noticed something different this time. Eren pulled back some to look at her face, her face which was now completely passed out._

_For a moment he had forgotten how much they were drinking. He shook his head with a groan that turned into a small laugh as he crawled off of her. How much had they drank to make_ her _pass out. Eren tugged her around on his bed until he pulled the blankets up over them. He realized they might not even remember this in the morning, but it didn’t matter. He curled his body around her as he pulled her close. For once, he could hold her the way he wanted to._

* * *

 

Mikasa stared at Eren with her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide at the memory that came back to her.

Did she…? Did she really say that? Did he…? They almost…?

Eren seemed to be in the same state, just staring at her with his mouth slightly agape. He might not have voiced all of what happened but she remembered and by the look on his face, so did he.

“Well,” Armin said eyeing the both of them. “I guess you two can’t skirt around and deny it anymore like you have for years.”

Mikasa wished he would’ve kept his mouth shut. They were drunk…it doesn’t count, it couldn’t have. Everything kept running over her head; the wedding, the confession, the kiss, the…Mikasa closed her eyes. She couldn’t let herself believe it meant something; it would only make it worse.

“There you guys are,” Reiner’s voice boomed into the area. His wide grin faltered when he saw the looks on everyone’s faces. “What the hell happened here?”

“You probably don’t want to know,” Armin said, but he still wasn’t looking that upset himself. “Why, what’s up?”

“Well, I was talking to this little lady all morning,” he stepped aside and grabbed a hold of Sasha who had been lingering behind him out of view and pushed her forward. She gave everyone a sheepish smile as Mikasa could see Connie perk up next to her.

“And she had someone she wanted to talk to.” Reiner gave her a light push again when she didn’t move.

“Ah, hey, Connie, do you want to…?” Sasha asked, her hands fluttering nervously, but Mikasa could still see the ring on her finger.

Connie nearly tripped over his feet to get up. “Yeah, yeah, let’s go.”

Mikasa watched them disappear into the casino and she knew she wasn’t the only one who had to have an awkward conversation.

“Jean, will you stop sulking like a five year old in time out,” Ymir’s voice called out as Mikasa saw her, Historia, Annie, and Bertholdt enter the small circle; she hadn’t even seen Jean walk back up to their group.  “It’s a nice tattoo. It fits you.”

“I don’t appreciate having it on my arm for the rest of my life thanks.”

“It’s a henna tattoo,” Annie crossed her arms nearby.

“What?” Eren snorted, finally taking his eyes of Mikasa.

“I pointed your drunk asses to a henna tattoo parlor. Did you wonder why it didn’t hurt at all?”

Jean’s face turned red though it didn’t seem like it was from anger this time but from embarrassment. “I didn’t…I wasn’t…” but he couldn’t seem to be able to get any other words off.

Ymir gave him a pat on the back but she looked like she was gonna laugh at him more than anything. “What about you two,” Ymir said, turning to both Eren and Mikasa. “Finally figure out how your night went?”

Mikasa didn’t want to even think about it again so she just placed her head in her hands instead; immature maybe but she was having trouble telling herself what happened let alone someone else. Eren didn’t seem to want to answer either, since she couldn’t hear him at all.

“Well, that gives me all the answer I needed to know.”

“I don’t know about you guys,” Reiner said clapping his hands. “But I’m ready to get back to gambling.”

“I don’t know why, you’ve lost everything but a little bit,” Annie said.

Mikasa poked her eyes over her hands, relieved the attention was gone from her.

“Yeah but you and Armin have lady luck on your side, so the both of you are coming with me. C’mon, Bertholdt. Let’s go make a fortune.”

“I’m not sure if we have enough time for that,” Bertholdt said but followed behind Reiner and Annie.

“I’m not sure which is more amusing, hearing about everyone’s night or watching Reiner lose more.” Ymir looked like she was contemplating it but Historia grabbed a hold of her hand and dragged her off after the others, deciding for her; Historia gave Mikasa a small wave as she walked away letting her know she didn’t need anyone else’s harassment.

“I’ll meet you guys in a sec,” Armin said to Annie who had stayed by the staircase waiting for him.

Jean looked around, seeing only Eren, Mikasa, and Armin standing around. “Oh hell no. I am not getting caught in the middle of all this.” He gestured his hands around the small group of people left. “I’m going back to sleep. I’ve had enough of this day.”

“I hope your tattoo doesn’t smudge,” Eren called out to Jean’s retreating back receiving only his finger in response.

Mikasa became very aware that she was now left alone with Eren and Armin, one of whom she knew wasn’t gonna stay for long. She dropped her eyes to the ground, afraid to even look up at Eren, afraid to meet his eyes. She heard Armin saying something to Eren in a low voice but she couldn’t hear exactly what was being said; whatever it was, Eren didn’t sound too happy about it when he spoke back. Mikasa heard Armin’s voice again but it was gone shortly after signaling he had left them alone.

She didn’t hear anything else, not even Eren, but she didn’t think she could bring herself to look up; she was too embarrassed, too horrified about what went on between them. She should’ve never let herself drink that much to the point where her control was gone. She knew this would happen, she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold herself back; years of careful self-control was gone out the window.

She heard footsteps walk towards her and a warm presence sit next to her. She glanced over to see Eren leaning up against the steps, his eyes looking anywhere but at her. They had been friends for as long as Mikasa could remember; she always felt more comfortable with him than anyone else she knew save for Armin. They rarely ever didn’t know what to say to each other yet sitting here Mikasa couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him. What do you say after so many hidden feelings were revealed when you were drunk? How do you get back to the way things were?

Eren didn’t seem to be much help; he wasn’t saying anything at all, just sitting there next to her. She had no idea what was going through his head, what he thought on the matter. Was he trying to figure out how to let her down lightly? Maybe trying to decide how to tell her they couldn’t go back to being friends after this, that it would be too weird now.

She couldn’t take it anymore; all this was too much. All she wanted was her best friend back, not the horrible awkward feelings she had around him all day. She choked out a small sob as she felt hot tears sting her eyes; she reached up to wipe them away before anyone could see her but she couldn’t get them to stop. This day had been miserable; she just wanted it to end.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Eren’s voice was soft as she felt his hands reach out to hold her face. She tried to pull away, to not look in his eyes but she couldn’t help it. He rubbed his thumbs over her cheeks trying to wipe the tears away. “What’s the matter?”

She didn’t know what to tell him. How to take back what she had said, what she had done; she wasn’t even sure she could. She was drunk, but she meant it, she meant every moment of it but hearing him not feel the same knew would hurt her more than anything. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Eren’s forehead furrowed. “Lose me? How the hell did that get in your head? I would’ve thought…” he hesitated for a moment, his teeth biting his lower lip. “You wouldn’t want to me around me anymore.”

“I…what?” Mikasa felt her tears stop as confusion filled her head. “Why would I want that?”

“Because,” he said, his cheeks turning red. “Of…you know…everything that went on last night. What I said, what I did.”

“You were drunk.” Mikasa saw his face fall slightly and she instantly wanted to take her words back, but it was true.

“Yeah but that didn’t mean I didn’t mean them.”

Mikasa watched him, her eyes locked onto his as his words sunk into her. “You…”

He dropped his hands from her face into her lap. “Yeah, when I realized what I had done I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be friends since you know how I feel about you.”

“You…?” Mikasa breathed, suddenly unable to take a deep breath. “Feel about me?”

Eren arched an eyebrow at her. “Well, yeah, I was drunk but I was being honest. That’s why I never got too drunk around you to begin with, I didn’t want it to come out and ruin our friendship. I guess it’s a little too late for that now thou-”

Much like what she remembered from last night, Mikasa reached out and grabbed a hold of his face pulling him in until her lips were pressed against his. He seemed to be in the same state of surprise as the first time she did it but he quickly relaxed, his mouth moving with hers.

Mikasa pulled away slightly, but kept her forehead pressed against his. “Me too.”

A smile crossed his lips. “So last night…?”

She nodded against him as his hands reached to pull her closer. He leaned into her, his lips meeting hers again though this time he didn’t taste like alcohol, just Eren.

“I’m not sure whether to cry or to clap. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this since we were nine years old.”

“I’d like to throw up personally.”

Eren looked over Mikasa’s shoulder cause her to turn her head as well. Armin had that damn smug ass look on his face she knew he got from Eren, whereas Annie looked as disinterested as always. Eren opened his mouth to say something back to him but another voice cut him off instead.

“You fucking bastard! You’re the one from last night!”

Eren’s head shot up at the voice, trying to see where it came from probably to see if something good was going on in the casino but when Mikasa saw who it was she knew it probably wasn’t a good thing. She nudged Eren in the stomach to draw his attention to the man standing a few aisles across from them. She didn’t know who he was exactly but she remembered his face, and the dark purple bruise on his jaw.

Judging by the look on Eren’s face, he recognized him too and recognized that the man was not very happy. At all. “I think it’s time to go.” Eren jumped up to his feet but not before reaching a hand out to Mikasa.

She grabbed a hold of it as he nearly tore her out of her seat, heading down the opposite direction of where that man was coming at them from. She had to laugh as she followed him, nearly having to run to keep up. Normally, she’d tell him to just go confront him and apologize for being punch happy drunk.

But you know what they say about Vegas.


	40. For A Thousand More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For A Thousand More
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa, Shingeki no Kyojin  
> Setting:: Sometime after they leave the cabin and before Eren and Historia get taken  
> Rating: K + (Little language)  
> Words: 5432

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a request from Ryvius who asked for Eren to temporarily lose his memory and to have the others try and explain their relationships and his life. Mikasa is the most affected by it not being able to look at Eren and see him looking back with no memory of her and the things they had been through. I really liked the prompt! I thought it was a mix of adorable and sad, because of the effect Eren’s memory loss (more than normal lol) would have on his friends, but writing Eren without all his horrible memories was really cute okay. The title is of course from “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri.

It seemed like it never mattered where they went, Eren would still find himself in trouble regardless the situation. Mikasa reached over to move the damp rag off his face as he slept in one of the empty beds of the house they were hiding in. He had been out for a good majority of the day; Hanji was pretty sure his fall had caused him a concussion, and judging by the nasty bump on his head, Mikasa was inclined to agree.

She had watched him fall, right out of the tree and onto the ground. It figures, only Eren would find danger when there was no immediate danger around him. She dipped the rag back into a bucket of cold water and rung it out. He had only been trying to get a better look around the area, per Levi’s orders, when his foot slipped or got caught or something. Regardless, it caused him to take a fall from which he hadn’t woken up yet.

Hanji managed to scout a head and find this small abandoned house for them to stay in until Eren woke up since it would be more than a little difficult to carry his unconscious body through the wilderness. Mikasa was sitting by his bed ever since. She tried not to worry, after all Eren went through worst; in fact this was one of his more humorous incidents.  She’d probably laugh if it hadn’t been hours since he woke up. She felt the nerves tightening in her stomach the longer she sat watching him.

Some noises outside the door made her turn away but no one came in to bother her. It was more than likely Levi making the others clean the house until not a layer of dust remained on any surface. He let her stay with Eren, provided she cleaned the whole room top to bottom of course. She went to roll her eyes and look back to Eren but his eyes were already watching her. Relief filled her body.

“Eren,” she breathed, leaning in to take the rag from his face as he sat up. “How’re you feeling?”

He sat up slowly, his forehead scrunched together, like he didn’t quite know where he was. “Good…I think…where am I?”

“Somewhere still in the woods. Hanji found it for us to stay in while you recovered. How’s your head?” Mikasa reached out to find the bump in his head to see if it had gone down any but before she could touch him, he jerked away from her. “Eren? What’s wrong?”

His eyes watched her carefully, cautiously. “Who’re you?”

Mikasa felt her stomach lurch, as her body froze in her chair. “W-what? Eren, it’s…” she didn’t even know what to say. “It’s Mikasa, you’ve known me since we were kids.”

Eren stared at her with his intense gaze she knew so well that she almost thought he was going to smile and say he was kidding, but he dropped his head into his hands instead. “I don’t…I don’t remember you. I don’t remember anything.”

Mikasa’s heart started to pound as her hands started to shake. No, something was wrong. No matter how many times Eren got hurt, no many how many times he came out of his titan form in his feverish haze, he never didn’t know who she was. The thought alone had hot tears burning her eyes.

She pushed herself up from her chair and practically threw the door open. “Hanji!” she called and even Mikasa heard the raw desperation in her voice. Eren couldn’t remember who she was; he couldn’t remember anything they went through. “Hanji, please, it’s Eren!” Mikasa felt like something had cut out a piece of her, leaving a hole a in her chest.

Her cries not only had Hanji running from another part of the house but Armin too.

“What is it?” Hanji asked coming to a stop in front of her.

Mikasa was afraid if she opened her mouth to say the words the tears she was holding back would fall. “He doesn’t remember me.” It was all she could say, and judging by the look on Hanji’s face, it was enough.

“Wait out here, okay? I’ll go talk to him.”

Mikasa nodded and stepped out of the doorway as Hanji shut the door behind her. Armin was standing nearby, his eyes watching Mikasa, but she didn’t even know what to say to him. Eren probably wouldn’t remember Armin either and Mikasa knew from recent personal experience, the person you care about most in the world looking at you and not seeing you wasn’t a good feeling. She quickly wiped away the tears in her eyes before anyone else came looking to see what happened.

“He hit his head, these things happen sometimes,” Armin said, taking a few steps closer to her. “He didn’t fall that far, I’m sure it’s just a short term memory thing.”

“But it’s Eren, he looked at me like he never saw me before. He’s never…not even the first time…” She looked down at her hands, feeling utterly useless as she heard Hanji talking behind the door. Mikasa strove so hard to keep him safe, but how could she when he wouldn’t even let her touch him?

She felt a hand on her shoulder and Armin’s warm presence near her. “The mind is a difficult and complex thing. If he’s having trouble remembering, we’ll just have to jolt his mind back. Something will bring him back to us.”

The door opened causing Mikasa to jump as she looked to Hanji’s face. She didn’t seem upset so maybe that was good news; though it was always hard to tell with Hanji.

“From what I can tell he seems like he has no memory of anything really. His name he seems to remember and the way our world is but nothing of his childhood, family, the being in the military, being a shifter, anything personalized to him.” She paused for a moment. “But I don’t think it’s permanent. Acknowledgement passed through his face when I brought up certain things, he just couldn’t seem to place them. It’s probably just from the hit to the head he took. His memory should come back, though how long I’m not sure.”

“So the brat can’t remember anything?” Levi was leaning up against the nearby couch when Mikasa looked over to him.

“Seems that way,” Hanji shrugged. “At least he won’t remember to be terrified of you on a daily basis.”

“More like to run away from you when you come at him asking him to feel his arm like a damn psychopath.”

“Come on, that was one time, Levi, and it worked didn’t it?”

Mikasa couldn’t take it anymore. How could they be so casual about this? Eren couldn’t remember anything about them, about the situation they were in. Why was everyone so calm about it? She jerked herself away from Armin’s hand and brushed past Hanji until she reached the small staircase the led upstairs to a few bedrooms. She heard Armin call after her, but she didn’t want to be around any of them. She picked the first door she saw, opened it, and shut herself in.

Did no one understand? Even Armin. How could he be so okay with what was going on? Why was no one taking this seriously?

She laid down on the nearby bed, burying her face in the pillow. Maybe she was the one overreacting, but she couldn’t get rid of the ache in her chest when Eren looked at her like he never saw her before. Even when…even when he saved her, that first moment she saw him. He never looked at her strangely, like he had known her his whole life but now all she saw was the way he flinched from her, like she was gonna hurt him.

Everything they went through was gone from him. All their memories, all their fights, all their good times and all their bad times were gone. She had to look at Eren knowing everything about him but he didn’t even recognize her face. She just got him back too. He was looking at her like he used to, they weren’t fighting all the time; she just gotten her Eren back and now he was gone in the worst sort of ways.

She didn’t even want to go down in face him. How could she look at him when he couldn’t look at her?

Mikasa wasn’t sure when she fell asleep but when she opened her eyes the sun was already set. She stretched her arms over her head as she sat up, looking over the unusual room she found herself in. She went to throw her feet over the bed when a jolt shot through her body. Eren. Dread filled the pit of her stomach as she pulled herself to her feet and headed out the door. The hallway was dark but she heard someone laughing from downstairs; it sounded like Sasha but it made Mikasa furrow her forehead as she walked down the stairs.

There was a lantern on the table that was lighting up the room and sure enough Sasha was grabbing her sides laughing. Connie looked equally amused and even Jean was cracking a smile while they sat around the table. Historia was there too watching the others quietly, Armin near her, and Eren watching with eager eyes. Her heart jumped up in her throat as she watched him. He looked like Eren but was different; he was almost smiling, his face lit with a sense of carelessness she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“You can’t be serious, Sasha? You were just standing there eating a potato?” Eren snorted, his laughter not helping Mikasa’s already pounding heart.

“You don’t come between a starving girl and food, even if you are bald and seven feet tall,” she wiped some tears from her eyes as she placed her hand back on the table.

“Hey, Mikasa!” Armin smiled at her at he waved from his spot next to Eren.

Everyone turned to look at her as she made her way down the rest of the stairs. She gave them a small wave while she headed over to the table but once face caught her eye more than the others. While Eren looked at her with such confusion earlier, she now watched his face light up in a way she wasn’t used to at all when he saw her. Her heart skipped as he smiled a toothy grin at her.

“Mikasa,” Eren said, his tone warm. “We wondered where you went.”

She went to sit down at an empty chair near Armin when she noticed him nudge Eren in the ribs.

“Ow, okay,” he said, pushing Armin’s arm away with a laugh. “I’m also sorry about earlier. You were looking after me, like I’ve been told you do, and I shouldn’t have acted that way. So I’m sorry, I just wasn’t sure what was going on.”

Well, at least she knew he still didn’t remember anything, though the way he was apologizing for something Eren normally wouldn’t should’ve given that away.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, trying to not be visibly baffled by his current behavior. It was just so strange to see Eren acting, well, so happy but at the same time, it was hard not to keep her face from heating up at the way he was looking at her. It was very surreal; he looked like Eren and talked like Eren, but at the same time it wasn’t Eren, not the Eren she knew at least.

“This is still the strangest thing of my life,” Jean grunted. “I’m used to him being sulky and angry all day long, not mister rainbows and sunshine.”

“You still haven’t told me how our relationship is,” Eren said, taking a sip from the cup that was in front of him.

Sasha snorted back laughter as she clasped her hands over her mouth.

“What?” he asked, arching an eyebrow at her response.

“Well,” Armin said. “You guys aren’t really friends. I can’t even really remember a time you two got along.”

“Huh, why’s that? He doesn’t seem like too bad of a guy.”

“I’m remembering you said that when you get your memory back. That will come in handy.” A smirk was pulling at Jean’s lips as he watched Eren from across the table.

“You know,” Sasha said, her face looking as though she was contemplating something. “I’m not even sure why they don’t get along. It just seemed like they were always fighting.”

“It’s because,” Armin was trying to bite back a smile; the others might not see it but Mikasa could. “They are both hotheads with differing opinions, so naturally when one opens his mouth the other one wants to fight him. I think they find themselves being rivals and more ways than just one.”

Jean grunted as he propped his chin up against his hand on the table, but didn’t say anything. Mikasa felt his eyes looking over to her, understanding all too well what Armin’s comment referred to

“Well,” Eren shrugged clearly not picking up on Jean’s attitude.  “Was it always the seven of us? We seem like we’re all pretty close, at least.”

The air around them changed as smiles faded or attempts to smile failed. Eren seemed to understand the effect his question had as his wide grin faltered.

“No,” Historia said, making Mikasa jump remembering the quiet blonde girl was still there. “There were more of us when we started training, and when we joined the Scouting Legion but they’re either dead or gone now.”

For a moment, Mikasa could see a reflection of the Eren she knew in his eyes. There was an overwhelming sense of loss in his face, in his eyes as Historia’s words sunk into him. He couldn’t even remember the people who were lost, the betrayal he had experienced at the hands of “friends”, but a part of him must’ve known it all too well.

Armin placed a hand on Eren’s shoulder, his eyes looking down at the cup in his hands. “What about Levi and Hanji? I know you were asking me about them earlier.”

“Yeah, well, I talked to Hanji at least,” Eren said, looking up to Armin. “She seemed a bit…”

“Crazy?” Connie supplied.

“I was going to say eccentric, but yeah.”

“She obsesses over Titans and Levi obsesses over cleaning,” Jean said, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the wax falling from the candle on the table. “They’re a match made in heaven.”

Eren arched an eyebrow. “Is that why he kicked me out and took off all the sheets immediately after I got up?”

“Yeah, that sounds like him.” Sasha rolled her eyes.

“They’re strong though.” Connie said. “We’d be dead without them. Hanji gets a little enthusiastic when it comes to doing experiments with you but they always seem to help whether she finds something or not. Hey!” His eyes lit up as he leaned forward against the table some. “There was this one time when we were watching over you while Hanji was running experiments and you were in your Titan form…they told you about that right?”

Eren nodded. “Yeah, Hanji explained it to me.”

“Okay, good. I didn’t want to be the one to drop that bomb. Well, you just kinda reached down and picked us up, and carried us around the mountains. Levi was yelling at you to knock it off, but since you could probably step on him, he didn’t seem to fight that much.”

“Connie, that didn’t happen but nice try,” Eren laughed, taking a sip from his drink.

Mikasa looked up at him, and she didn’t seem to be the only one. Everyone was watching him, unsure if what he said was telling them that he was back to normal. “Eren…?” she asked.

He looked over at her with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I don’t actually remember but something tells me that never happened.”

Mikasa felt her heart sink as she looked away again. She heard Connie grumbling that it didn’t work, but she just wanted Eren back. She didn’t care for all this. She just wanted him to remember who she was without having to tell him his whole past again; it was too hard. Though, she couldn’t imagine what it was like for him, having an entire past that people had to inform him of. Eren really was having to live through everything again.

“What about my family? I know I’m in the military so I assume they aren’t around but where are they?” That hopeful look in Eren’s eyes made Mikasa want to cry. It wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fair, not to him, not to Armin, not to her.

“We’re…” Armin started, trying to smile for him, but Mikasa could see the hurt in his eyes at having to be the one to tell him. “We’re all you have left.”

Mikasa stood to her feet, her chair scraping across the wooden floor. Everyone looked up to her, including Eren but she couldn’t take him asking these things and seeing the way it affected him all over again.

Everyone at the table looked at her for a response but she didn’t even know what to tell them. Her fingers fluttered to the ends of her scarf before she turned and went to go back up the stairs, back up to her self-appointed room.

“Mikasa, wait!”

Eren’s voice stopped her in front of her door. She turned to look at him as he bounded up the stairs towards her. He came to stand in front of her, but once he did, he looked like he wasn’t sure what to say.

“It’s okay,” Mikasa gave him a small smile. He probably just felt bad because of her reaction, which was a nice sentiment, but really, she just wanted to be alone. “I’m sure you have a lot more questions, those guys down there could handle it better than me.”

“Armin told me about us,” he said causing her to stop opening her door and look back at him. “He told me we’re, me and you, are really close. That us and Armin all grew up together. I know…” he paused, his fingers fidgeting with each other. “I know this can’t be easy for you, to look at someone you know so well and them not even know you. It’s really frustrating for me because I know you and Armin are very important people to me, I can feel it, I just don’t know why.”

Mikasa watched him as she turned around to face him, those eyes she knew so well and that soft tone she didn’t hear all that often. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

“Well, apparently it is. I’m the one who fell out of a damn tree of all things.”

She tried to hold back her laugh but it didn’t work.

“There,” he smiled. “I get the feeling I don’t get to see you smile that often because it makes me really happy to see it.” He reached up to graze his fingers across her red scarf, the one that belonged to him once. “Armin told me I gave that to you a long time ago. He didn’t tell me why or how, I assume cause maybe he didn’t even know, but he did tell me you never take it off.” He looked up to meet her eyes again. “He’s important to you isn’t he?”

It was strange to hear Eren refer to himself in the third person like that but she understood what he meant. “He’s the most important person to me.”

“You’re important to him too, I can feel it. Well, uh, I’ll see you in the morning?” He reached to scratch behind his head, messing his hair up more than it already was, and gave her a small smile. He looked a little nervous, like he was still unsure what to say to her, something Mikasa wasn’t used to.

“Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay,” he said, a wider smile pulling at his lips as he started to walk away backwards.

“Okay.” Mikasa pulled herself through her door, trying to ignore the way her own lips were trying to smile. She shut the door behind her, and found herself back in her bed. She knew it wasn’t really Eren, not without the memories and experiences that made Eren who he is but she couldn’t help but feel her heart skip seeing his smile on his face and seeing it directed at her.

She wanted to be angry with him, to be upset that he got himself hurt and the result of that made him forget everything that made him remember himself, but she couldn’t do it because he was still Eren. He still spoke like him, he had his smile, he had his humor, he still had that warm presence that always made her feel safe. He was still Eren.

* * *

 

She woke up to a knocking noise. Mikasa sat up in her bed; the sun was shining through her window, and she could tell the knocking was coming from the door. With a yawn, she went to the door and pulled it open only to see Eren standing sheepishly at the door.

“Hey, good morning. Did I wake you?”

“No,” she said, but her hand reaching up to cover her yawn gave her away.

“Uh, Levi said we did a shitty job cleaning and is kicking us out of the house for a few hours. I came to see if you wanted to come outside with me and Armin.”

He didn’t have to tell her his memory still wasn’t back; she could see it in his face. “Yeah, let me just…” she gestured back into the room.

“Oh yeah, of course,” his cheeks turned a little red as he took a few steps back from the door.

Mikasa closed the door as she turned to the clothing she had folded up last night by her bed. It was strange for Eren to be the one waking her up, for as long as she could remember, she was the one who would have to drag him out of bed. She also wished her heart would stop pounding in her chest. She tried to tell herself she had to stop reacting to him like that because the moment he got his memories back it would be back to normal Eren behavior.

She threw her blouse and skirt on before wrapping her scarf back around her neck. She went back to open the door and saw Eren leaning up against the railing of the stairs waiting for her. Mikasa shut the door behind her, causing him to jump at the sudden noise. “Sorry.”

“Hey,” Eren said, a smile pulling at his lips when he saw her. “It’s okay. Armin should be outside already. Want to…?” he gestured towards the stairs.

Mikasa nodded and started to follow him down the stairs and to the front door. She could hear Levi yelling at Hanji to help him but something told Mikasa Hanji of all people was not gonna listen. Eren held the door open for Mikasa as the warm and fresh air hit her. It was actually beautiful where they were, not that she had the time to acknowledge it before; the trees were tall as they waved in the wind over the green grass, the mountains looming over on the horizon.

Armin waved from a spot underneath a tree which blocked them from the bright sun overhead. “Good morning,” he said with a smile as they got closer. “It’s a rare day when Levi doesn’t want to work us to the bone.”

“He seems like he’d be a bit of a slave driver.” Eren took a seat next to Armin on the grass, Mikasa following next to him.

“You have no idea,” Mikasa said, pulling at a small flower that was growing in the grass. It felt like they were kids again, just sitting under trees and ignoring their responsibilities.

“So,” Eren said, letting Mikasa know he was about to ask something about them or himself. “We’ve all been friends for a long time then?”

Armin nodded. “I can’t remember when I didn’t know you, honestly. I can’t even remember how we met.” He laughed lightly as he leaned his back against the nearby tree. “Mikasa I remember meeting though. Eren, you came over to play and you were tugging Mikasa behind you. I remember wondering who she was because as far as I knew I was your only friend but I knew she had to be a friend because she was wearing your scarf.” He paused to gesture to the scarf she was still wearing. “And you just came up to me and said, ‘Armin, this is Mikasa, she’s our friend now’. That was that, we were all friends since then.”

Mikasa felt a smile pulling at her lips as she picked at the grass. She remembered that. “I was nervous to meet you, Armin. Eren was the only person my age I even knew, and I only knew him for a few days. You just extended your hand and told me it was nice to meet me that made me feel like I always known you. That and you also said the scarf looked better on me anyway.”

 “Well, I wasn’t wrong.” Armin laughed.

Eren was looking back and forth between the two of them, trying to look eager but Mikasa saw there was a different type of hurt in his face. She could only imagine how it must here to sit with the people he knew to be his best friends, talking about times he should remember but only ended up feeling left out instead.

“It’s okay,” Mikasa lightly tapped his head with her finger. “They’ll come back.”

He shrugged, trying to give her a smile as guilt filled the pit of her stomach. She should’ve never been so angry with him, it wasn’t his fault. He probably wanted his memories back more than anyone; she couldn’t imagine just wandering lost in the world with nothing but other people’s words to guide him.

“What did we do for fun?”

“Keep you from getting in trouble,” Mikasa said.

Eren snorted, shaking his head. “I guess from what I’ve heard about me that’s not too surprising.”

“We talked about what was beyond the walls,” Armin said, his eyes looking past them and to the nearby mountains. “About the ocean, about being free.”

“The ocean?”

“Yeah,” Armin nodded, looking over at Eren. “I read about it in one of my grandpa’s books. It was always your favorite to hear about. It’s a vast body of salty water that seeming goes on forever, surrounded by soft sand and the cool water washing up on the ground.”

“Huh,” Eren said, his eyes distant like he was trying to image the scene Armin was telling him. “I bet you’d stand there and see everything.”

Armin grinned. “That’s what you always said.”

That seemed to make Eren smile at least. “Well, I know how I met everyone who is around me, except you, Mikasa. So what do you say? Wanna tell me how you got my scarf?” He was smiling at her, like he wanted to hear the cute story of how the two nine year olds had met but Mikasa’s heart sank.

That story was one she didn’t want to live through again, nor did she want to make him live through it. He must have sensed it because his smile faltered, but it wasn’t fair to keep it from him, not when he had it had such an impact on both their lives.

“Okay,” she said, looking down at the ground.

“You know.” Armin pushed himself up to his feet. “I think I’m gonna go find the others and see what they’re up to, okay?”

“Uh, yeah, okay.” Eren waved at him but he had a confused look on his face as he watched Armin walk away.

It was a nice gesture from Armin, Mikasa couldn’t help but think; she was pretty sure even he didn’t know all the details of what went on that night. She was never one to talk about it, and neither was Eren who simply told Armin they were all friends now with no other explanation.

Eren was watching her carefully, seeming like he understood the weight of the question he had asked.

“I lived with my mom and dad until I was nine years old.” She pulled at some of the grass by her legs, never thinking she’d have to explain this to Eren. “Until they were killed in front of my eyes. I don’t really remember what happened, all I know was I woke up in a room tied up. I heard them talking about…selling me because of my race. I didn’t even see what happened, but you came in and went after the two men that had taken me.” She paused for a moment, taking a shaky breath in. It wasn’t something she liked thinking about, not when she thought about what would’ve happened to her if Eren wasn’t there. “The two men, they-”

“No, that’s wrong.”

Mikasa looked over at him, the firmness in his voice making her forehead furrow. “What?”

His eyes were focused on her, his face unwavering. “There were three men and I had no idea what I was doing but the moment I knew you were in trouble, I had to go do something. I didn’t even know you, but I knew I couldn’t lose you.”

She breathed in a sharp breath. “Eren…?”

“Yeah, it’s me. It’s me this time.”

Mikasa threw her arms around his neck, pushing both him and her to the ground. Her head landed by his, her arms still around him. She felt his warm breath against her face as he laughed lightly.

“What happened?”

Eren shrugged but he didn’t move from his spot next to her. “I was just following along with you when I started to see that cabin with you, and the men like I had been there and everything kinda came back. What happened after, what happened before, how I felt. Then everything was back like it had never been gone.” He paused for a moment, reaching up to brush past her cheek. “I’m sorry, Mikasa. I know that was hard for you.”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t as bad as what you must have gone through. To have all these people telling you who your friends were, what your life was.”

“Looking back it was actually kinda funny sometimes. Did Connie really think he could get away with that?”

“You still knew better than to believe him.”

Eren snorted and shook his head, his eyes looked over to meet hers. He just watched her for a moment, those eyes finally full of the recognition she missed. She felt warm again, she felt whole again with Eren, her Eren next to her.

“What is funny though,” he mumbled, his voice soft. “Is that even with no memory of you, I still couldn’t bear to be without you. Even though I didn’t know who you were, I was still in love with you.”

Mikasa’s breath hitched in her throat as she watched him, almost unbelieving the words that were coming from his lips.

“Don’t look at me like that.” His cheeks were a slight shade of red, but his eyes never left hers. “I’m not _that_ stupid, you know.”

She let his words sink in for a moment before she leaned in and pressed her lips against his; something she wanted to do for a very long time. Eren seemed to be the one surprised now but it only lasted for a minute. His arms moved to wrap around her as his mouth carefully moved with hers.

Mikasa breathlessly pulled away from him, but kept her hands on his face, her forehead against his. “Welcome back, Eren.”

With a grin pressed his lips to hers again, pulling her as close as he could to his body.

“Just don’t fall out of a tree again,” she mumbled against his mouth causing him to laugh.

“No one is going to let me live this one down I take it?”

“Probably not, no.”

He shook his head and Mikasa could feel the smile on his lips as he leaned into her. “That’s okay, it was worth it.”


	41. Say You’ll Come and Set Me Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Say You’ll Come and Set Me Free
> 
> Paring: Mikasa/Eren & Slight Hanji/Levi  
> Setting: Post Series; Eren and Mikasa are in their early twenties.  
> Rating: K+ (Little language)  
> Words: 4149

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request that for the life of me I cannot find. I’m so sorry, I’m so bad about that sometimes ;-; They asked for Eren being nervous to ask Levi for Mikasa’s hand in marriage. I thought it was adorable and I couldn’t not write it. I also like imagining their world once the series is over (I give the happiest ending ever of course, but still lol). This piece and the next entry will be companion pieces because the requests went hand in hand. The title is from “Till Kingdom Come” by Coldplay and it’s such an eremika song it’s not even funny. If you don’t know it go listen to it, it’s lovely.

It had been a few years since Eren saw the tall walls looming over head. He shaded his eyes as he looked up at Wall Maria that still extended up into the sky, far higher than he could see. Carts and other people riding on horses past him on the road to the main gate but Eren kept his horse still on the road. It was a bittersweet sight to see with all the emotions and memories that came rushing back just at the sight of the wall he saw so many times as a child.

“Eren? Is something wrong?”

He turned his head to the side to see his traveling companion watching him with her ever caring dark eyes. “Yeah, Mikasa, I’m fine.” He gently pressed his heels into the sides of his horse to get her moving again as Mikasa followed alongside him. Eren glanced at her again; her eyes were also watching the walls that were getting closer by every step.

It was a long ride from their home by the ocean back to the place where they grew up, but it was a necessary one. Well, at least Eren thought it was, even if it was one that was making his hands sweat constantly against the reigns of his horse.

“Do you think they’ll ever tear them down?” Mikasa asked, as they slowly followed traffic closer to the entry gate.

“Probably not. Too much history in them. I think they’ll keep them up to remind everyone not to repeat history.”

The traffic stopped again, letting Eren know they were still checking identity at the gates. Once they could, it seemed like humanity rushed back out into the world to explore and settle but within the walls still remained the capital even as other towns popped up everywhere around it. Most of the people surrounding Eren and Mikasa were farmers and vendors bringing in their goods for the morning market. A few small children were traveling with their parents, squealing at the sight of the huge walls probably for the first time.

Eren couldn’t help but smile to himself; the first generation born free. 

Traffics started moving again once more. “Here,” he held his hand out to Mikasa as they got close enough to see the symbols of the roses on the jackets of the guards at the gate. “Hand me your badge.”

She reached into the pocket of her jacket to pull out a folded up piece of paper and handed it to him. He placed it on top of his and held them out to the nearest guard to them.

“Thank you,” the guard said taking them from Eren and unfolding the pieces of paper. “Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman, both currently residing in the Ocean District and former members of the Scouting Legion.” The guard looked up, eyeing them suspiciously. “A little young aren’t you?”

“We were younger then,” Eren gestured to take their badges back.

“You’re good to proceed,” the guard grunted and handed back the papers.

Eren motioned his horse to continue through the gate with Mikasa by his side. “Wow,” was all he could say when they hit the opening into what was once the Shinganshina District.

“Wow, is right,” Mikasa agreed halting her horse once more next to Eren.

It looked like the town they grew up with the landscape but the entire town had changed. Eren knew that going in; they had renovated the entire area since it was now the closest place to the outside world. Many people were traveling in and out on a regular basis and it had become a district overflowing with commerce from the inner walls and the outside.

“It looks so much fuller and livelier than the last time we saw it,” Mikasa said, her eyes looking down the many new streets, buildings, and markets that seemed to be everywhere.

“That’s because the last time we saw it, it was still in ruins.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes as she jumped off her horse to lead her to the stables nearby. Eren followed suit, reaching in his pocket to pay the stable hand waiting to help the many travelers wanting to keep their horses off the streets. He grabbed both his and Mikasa’s bags before meeting her back on the streets.

“So,” she said, taking her back from him and slinging it over her shoulder. “You still haven’t told me why we came out here, let alone where we’re going.”

“Does the word ‘surprise’ mean nothing to you?”

“No, not when the surprise took us days on horseback to get to a place we haven’t been back to since the day we left.”

Eren started to walk down one of the streets, trying to remember the directions Armin had given him before him and Mikasa left. “Hey,” he said, reaching over to grab a hold of her hand and intertwine his fingers with hers. “We had a good time traveling out here.” He nudged her with his elbow and looked down at her, giving her a bit of a smirk.

Mikasa nudged him, admittedly much harder than he nudged her, but she was already laughing. She looked away from him, watching the buildings and houses as Eren led her up the street.

It shouldn’t be too far away now; the headquarters of the Scouting Legion stayed close to the gates of Wall Maria. While they weren’t needed to scout against Titans anymore, they still remained at the head of making scouting trips out to the world to see what places could be inhabited by people and also making maps of the areas humanity had access to again.

Armin was part of the teams who made the maps which is why Eren went to him for directions to their base. Armin asked Eren if him and Mikasa wanted to join his team and help the Scouting Legion again but Eren said no. While they had traveled with Armin for a while, Eren knew what Mikasa always wanted, and Eren wanted to give that to her.

“I feel like I should recognize these places but I don’t.” Mikasa didn’t seem like she was bothered too much by it, more like she was amazed the place she called home was so different now.

“We’ll, you should recognize that at least.” He pointed up to a flag he could see waving in the near distance, one of white and blue wings.

“Is that…?”

“Yep, that’s their headquarters.” Eren tugged on her hand, leading her in the direction of the large building that was slowly rising over the others as they got closer.

“Is that why you came? To visit?” Mikasa wasn’t upset, Eren could tell that much, but he could tell she was a little skeptical that they had rode for days just to come say hi.

He looked over at her. “I came here to talk to someone, but I thought you might like to see everyone again too. Armin might be here since he hasn’t been home in a while.”

“Who do you have to talk to?”

Eren opened her mouth to tell her to mind her own business, though he knew that wasn’t going to end well. Thankfully a guard at the gate that surrounded the headquarters stopped them before Eren could answer.

“It’s a restricted area beyond this point. You can come back during the open for public hours.” The guard was wearing the ever familiar uniform even if there wasn’t much need for 3DM Gear anymore.

Eren reached into his pocket to pull out both him and Mikasa’s badges, ones that also had the Legion symbol printed on them. It came in handy every now and then.

“Oh,” the guard said, eyeing over the papers and looking a little flustered. “I’m sorry, here, you can go in.” He tapped the gate which swung open for them.

“Thanks,” Eren waved, putting the badges back and taking Mikasa into the walkway that led up to the stone steps of the building.

“Don’t you feel important,” she chuckled, her eyes scanning over the building. “They’ve come a long way from an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere.”

“Yeah,” Eren tried to be responsive, but now that he was faced with what he came here to do, his pulse wouldn’t stop pounding in his ears. What was he thinking coming here?

“Hey.” Mikasa’s hand on his cheek brought his gaze back down to her. Her face was concerned as she reached up to his forehead. “You look red, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He gave her a smile but it didn’t work. “I promise, Mikasa, c’mon lets go.”

She didn’t seem convinced at all but she still followed him up the stone steps and past the large wooden doors.

There were so many people bustling around that Eren didn’t even think anyone noticed them walking into the entrance all. Most everyone was dressed in the signature uniform of the military moving around to other parts of the building, carrying papers, discussing business with other members of the military. Eren was positive he never saw so many members in the Scouting Legion before, granted that could be because a majority of them aren’t eaten when they leave the walls now.

“There you guys are!” Armin was waving from a nearby hallway. He looked like he had been talking to someone else judging by the papers in his hands, but he quickly abandoned his conversation to rush over to them, his short blond ponytail bobbing as he did. “I’m so glad you made it safe.”

“You knew we were coming?” Mikasa asked as Armin pulled her into a tight hug; he nearly lifted her off her feet as he did. Eren was sure Mikasa would never get used to going from being one of the tallest between the three of them to being the shortest.

“Of course, I did.” Armin turned to give Eren his hug too. “Eren wrote me about it. Wow, you’re doing a good job keeping things from her for once.”

“It’s been hard, she knows me too well for me to pull anything over her.”

Mikasa’s suspicious glare turned from Eren to Armin as she looked between the two of them. “What’re you two up to?”

“Nothing, c’mon, I haven’t told any of the others you were coming to visit,” Armin grabbed a hold of Mikasa’s shoulders and started to slowly pull her in the opposite direction of Eren. “I take it you’ll meet up with us later?”

“Ah, yeah,” Eren said, trying to ignore Armin’s all too knowing eyes and grin.

“Hey, Marta,” Armin called to the girl who had followed him over from the other hall.  “Will you take Eren wherever he needs to go?”

“Of course, sir,” she nodded, turning to look up to Eren for further directions.

“Eren, wait!” Mikasa’s voice alone was enough to send guilt to the pit of his stomach, let alone the distressed look on her face. She clearly didn’t like any of this at all and Eren mentally slapped himself for not knowing better. He took her to a place that would naturally bring back horrible memories, without telling her what was going on, and then just leaving her.

“It’s okay,” he said, walking the short distance to where Armin had let go on Mikasa. She closed the distance between them, throwing her arms around him, her head leaning against his shoulder. “I’m sorry but I promise, everything is okay.” He placed a hand on her back and one against her head, placing is head down against hers. “I just have to go do something first, but I’ll meet up with you in a little bit, okay?”

Mikasa nodded against him as she pulled away slightly to look up at him. “Okay.”

Eren moved his hand from her head over to her face before he leaned down and pressed a kiss against her lips. He looked back to Armin over Mikasa’s shoulder. “You gonna take care of her?”

“When have I not?” Armin answered with a smile.

“I know, buddy.” Eren patted Mikasa on the back as she stepped over towards Armin who placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll see you guys soon.” He gave them a wave before watching them turn and disappear through the crowd.

“Are you ready, Sir?” Marta’s voice made him jump; he had forgotten there was someone waiting on him.

“Yeah and don’t call me sir. I’m not a part of all this anymore. Eren is fine.”

She nodded. “Where do you need to go to?”

“Uh,” Eren looked around the area, like anyone here was going to be able to help him now. “I need to go talk to Levi.”

Marta, who had been pretty stone faced the whole time, looked at him with more than a little surprise. “You mean Sergeant Major Levi Ackerman?”

“The one and only.”

Marta still looked at him like he was insane but started to lead the way down one of the hallways.

Maybe he was insane; it wasn’t like he had talked to Levi since the day he left the Scouting Legion. Mikasa might send letters to him, but if she did she never said anything to him about it. Armin was even the only one who was near him who still had constant contact with Levi. This was different though, this was something Eren had to do.

The hallway got less crowded the farther Marta took him down; paintings covered the walls depicting various battles and honored members through the years. He supposed he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was to see his, Mikasa, and Armin’s faces looking back at him at one point. Marta took him up a nearby staircase and onto the second floor.

There was practically no one up here, and the ornate decorating of this hall told him it was all the different offices for the higher ups. If he didn’t want to throw up before, he really did now. His heart rate picked up the father down the hall he followed Marta; he had to keep wiping his sweating hands on his jacket.

First of all, it was Levi, he was never the easiest person to talk to and second of all, he was going to talk to Levi about asking for his only remaining relative’s hand in marriage. Levi’s only relative being the person he always said she was far too good for Eren of all people.

Marta opened a wooden door and held it for him. “Just go in and talk to the woman at the desk. Good luck.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Eren tried to give her a smile, but he was pretty sure it came out as a grimace instead. The door shut behind him, leaving him alone with just a woman sitting at a desk in front of another wooden door.

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah,” Eren said, taking a few steps forward to make sure he didn’t bolt for the door. “I just need to talk to Levi.” 

The woman gave him a skeptical look. “Do you have an appointment?”

“An appointment? Really he needs those?”

“He likes everything organized and scheduled throughout the day.”

Why did that not surprise Eren at all. “Of course he does. Look, I just need to talk to him for a moment.”

“You need an appointment to speak with him.”

Jesus, Levi knew who to pick to make sure no one ever talked to him, which was what he wanted no doubt. Maybe this was just fate, and he should turn around and leave. “Just can you tell him Eren Jaeger wants to talk to him, please.”

The woman’s face changed when she recognized his name. Eren specifically asked to be left out of all the heroics and what not, but he knew within the Scouting Legion his name was known. She got up and went to the door, so at least it worked.

Though now he actually had to go through with it.

“You can go in,” she nodded, holding the door for him.

“Thanks,” Eren said and despite his wave of nausea stepped inside the office. It was a typical looking study, he supposed, except it was cleaner than almost any room he had seen before.

“What do you want, Jaeger?” Levi hadn’t changed at all. He was still looking at Eren with that typical mix of disgust and annoyance, he didn’t really look any different either as he leaned back in his chair.

“Good to see you too, Sir.” This was off to lovely start.

“Levi, knock it off, its _Eren_ , we haven’t seen him in years!” Hanji was on her feet in a moment, pulling Eren into a tight hug. He hadn’t even noticed her sitting on the couch, probably because looking around the room only made him want to throw up more. “Look at you!” she exclaimed when she was done hugging him. She grabbed a hold of his face, looking at him closely. “You’ve gotten so tall, and so much older. It’s so good to see you. Isn’t it, Levi?” She turned around to look at him still holding onto Eren’s face.

She must have given him a look because Levi rolled his eyes. “Yeah, fine, good to see you alive still.”

That seemed to be good enough for Hanji; she turned back to Eren as she let go of his face. “Come in, sit down. We weren’t doing anything. Levi just pretends he does so no one will bother him.”

“And it works.”

Hanji waved Levi’s comment off as she practically pushed Eren into the couch before taking a seat next to him. Well, it was nice to know Hanji hadn’t changed a bit either. He wasn’t expecting her to be there, but he felt a little more at ease with her there; she wouldn’t let Levi murder him. “So, what brings you here? Nothing’s wrong is it?” Hanji suddenly turned a mix between grim and excited, like she didn’t want to hear the bad but hoped the bad had something to do with his other talent.

“No, no, nothing’s wrong. Especially in _that_ regard, Hanji, don’t worry. Everything’s great actually.” Eren couldn’t help the smile he felt pulling at his lips. “It’s been nice to live in peace on our own terms, you know.”

Levi made a grunting noise but Hanji nodded in response. “Armin says you all live by the ocean?”

“Yeah, well, not right on the ocean but walking distance. Armin, when he’s not here or out on trips, lives down the street from Mikasa and I.”

“How is Mikasa?” Hanji asked, reaching out to nudge him in the arm, with a sly smile. “Happy I bet.”

“Yeah, happier than I’ve ever seen her. She’s here with me, I’m sure she’ll want to say hi. I just…” He felt the comfort he was feeling leave him as he remembered why he was here. “I just wanted to come alone first.”

“Was there something you wanted to say alone?” Hanji asked slowly, understanding the sudden change in Eren’s tone.

“Ah, yeah,” he reached up to run a hand through his hair and smile at her trying to block out the nerves that were knotting in his stomach. How was he supposed to ask Levi this? Oh God, he was going to get beaten.

Levi arched an eyebrow at him. “Is she pregnant?”

“What? God, no,” Eren choked, caught off guard by Levi’s comment; though the thought brought him a wave of a different type of fear. “At least, not that I know of.”

“Don’t give him a heart attack, Levi.” Hanji reached her foot out to try and kick him in the leg but Levi easily moved out of her reach. “Well, what is it you wanted to say? I take it it’s about Mikasa since you didn’t bring her with you. Is she okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s perfectly fine,” Eren said waving off her question with a nervous twitch of his hand. This was it; he had to ask Levi now. He came all this way, he had to just say it. “It’s just...” he hesitated, looking up to see Levi watching him. Eren took a deep breath, his hands gripping onto his knees as he met Levi’s eyes. “I…I want to marry her and I came here to ask you for her hand.”

There was a silence that settled over the room as Eren tried not to show his once commanding officers how nervous he was as Levi just stared at him. Eren was especially hoping the sweat he felt on his forehead wasn’t about to start rolling down his face.

“Why do you need to ask me. Mikasa is a grown woman; she can do what she wants. She doesn’t need my permission for anything.” Levi said, not moving from his spot.

“I know that, nor would she probably want anyone to give her permission for something but it’s important to me.” He hesitated for a moment, trying not to break Levi’s gaze. “My dad and I got there too late for her parents that night and you’re the only relative she has left. I want to do right by her family for once.”

Silence settled again as Levi leaned forward slightly as if he was going over the words Eren had said in his head. Eren wasn’t sure if he was going to answer or just glare at him for the rest of the day.

“You’ve always taken on too much blame, kid, but if words mean that damn much to you, yeah, I consent and gladly give or whatever shit that is.”

Eren felt relief fill his body, like he could finally breathe for the first time for being in this room. So it wasn’t that endearing but it was better than Levi berating him.

“Don’t let him fool you,” Hanji nudged Eren. “He was really touched you thought of him. I could tell.”

Levi made a noise of displeasure, one Eren had gotten used to hearing from him when it came to Hanji, but he didn’t actually deny her words.

“Well, I should probably go find Mikasa and Armin,” Eren said, standing to his feet. “I’m sure I’ll see the both of you again though. I know Mikasa will want to see you but thank you.”

“We better be invited to the wedding,” Hanji said, pushing herself up to her feet to walk him to the door.

“Of course, besides,” Eren looked back at Levi. “Mikasa’ll need someone to walk her down the aisle.”

“Ackerman can ask me that herself. I’ve talked enough about weddings today, you’re gonna get Hanji on my case again.”

“We’ll see you later, Eren,” Hanji said as she opened the door for him.

He waved before the door closed behind him. The girl was sitting at the desk but she didn’t pay him any mind as he walked out into the hall he came in. Eren realized he had no idea where to find Armin and Mikasa but it was okay; he had achieved what he came her for. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

There had been so many times where Eren almost backed out of the trip, knowing Mikasa wouldn’t want anyone’s permission to live her life, but he wanted to do it. He wanted to show respect to the family Eren never got to meet. Mikasa at least deserved that.

He went down the steps he came and back through the hall of portraits; he walked slowly this time, seeing places he remembered, and people who were long lost. It had only been a few years but even after a few years of peace made the long years of hell seem like a distant past.

“Hey!”

Eren turned to see Armin at the end of the hallway walking towards him.

“I was just coming to look for you. How’d it go?”

“I’m alive,” Eren laughed. “Better than most times I had to go talk to him.”

“Good, he’s gone soft in his old age. Don’t tell him I said that, I’m pretty sure he could still kick my ass.”

“He’d kick your ass just for calling him old.”

Armin laughed as he reached his hand into his pocket. “Here, since she’s not around.” He tossed a small wooden box over to Eren who caught it in his hands. “Kept it safe for you. Am I not a best man?”

“Don’t get a head of yourself,” Eren said with a small smile as he opened the box to see the ring he had bought what seemed like years ago. “She still has to say yes.”

Armin draped his arm over Eren’s shoulders as he waked him back though the main hall. “That’s the one thing I don’t think you have to worry about.”


	42. Just Say You’ll Wait, You’ll Wait For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Say You’ll Wait, You’ll Wait For Me
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series; the companion piece to Say You’ll Come and Set Me Free.  
> Rating: K+ (Little Language)  
> Words: 3577

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from Ryvius who requested Mikasa’s thoughts on her wedding day and good thing too because I can't count how many people asked me for a sequel to the previous story haha I got the previous prompt after and I thought they would go perfect together. Believe it or not this is the first wedding fic I ever finished. I can’t tell you how many I started and never finished (those who knew me in the Fairy Tail fandom know that too well, sorry guys D:). I loved writing this because precious babies; they are just too cute for me. The title is the continuation of the lyric from the companion piece. It’s from “Till Kingdom Come” by Coldplay.

 

Mikasa knew she should be sitting down and relaxing until someone came to get her, but she had instead taken to pacing her bedroom floor instead. Her hands fidgeted with each other, her heart racing in her chest. She had been in here all morning, only having Sasha come in once to help her into her dress. Mikasa flattened her hands against the lace of the white dress, gently brushing out any wrinkles that might have formed.

It was a simple dress; a floor length dress that was covered in lace. It wasn’t too flowy or poofy, it just fit her body and flared out lightly from the waist down. Mikasa glanced over at her reflection in the mirror, her long white veil seeming so much brighter against her black hair. She would have felt more comfortable in a shirt and skirt but the dress was a gift from Hanji. Mikasa tried to say no, but Hanji insisted. Even Sasha nearly started crying when she helped place the veil on Mikasa’s head. She said she was just so happy that she could be here to see it before being called away outside.

Mikasa looked away from her reflection and back over the room she shared with Eren. It seemed everyone was happy which in turn, she was happy to see but it didn’t stop the bundle of nerves tightening in her stomach. She sat down on the bed with a sigh, careful her dress didn’t get stuck anywhere.

She didn’t even know what was making her so nervous. This is what she always wanted; she always wanted to have a home with Eren, to spend the rest of her life with him, to have a family with him. She cried when he asked her to marry him because it was what she had wanted for so long. Mikasa couldn’t understand why she was feeling sick instead of feeling elated. She didn’t even know what there was to be nervous about. She lived with Eren as a child, then in the military, and then they had a house together; it’s not like she was stepping into the unknown. She was always with him, and just because someone was telling them they were married didn’t make anything different.

Yet at the same time it did. It made it very different.

Mikasa just wanted to cry out of frustration with herself but she knew Sasha would kill her after all the time she spend trying to get some make up on that Hanji had brought with the dress.

“What’s the matter with you> I thought you’d be a bit more happy looking.” Levi was leaning up against the door frame, dressed in a black suit. “You’re gonna marry that brat out there just like you wanted to.”

“I know…” Mikasa said, her voice light. “I am happy. I just…” She didn’t even know what to tell herself let alone tell Levi.

He sighed and shut the door behind him, walking over to the bed where she was sitting. “You just what? Getting cold feet? Don’t worry, I think that would be normal for anyone getting ready to marry Jaeger of all people.”

Mikasa wanted to laugh, but she couldn’t. She could only look up at Levi who had crossed his arms as he watched her.

“Is this not what you want? Cause if it’s not, you better say so rather quickly.”

“No, no, it is what I want. I love Eren, I always have and I always will. That’s not a question and that’s the problem. I am happy, I’m more than happy and I don’t understand why I feel so anxious…so sad.” Her eyes dropped down to her hands in her lap.

Levi didn’t say anything for a moment, but Mikasa did feel a dip in the bed, letting her know he sat down next to her. “Because sometimes when shit things happen to you your whole life you become distrustful of the good things. Just when things start to get better again, everything goes to shit. Naturally, on the day you’ve been looking forward to you’re scared something will ruin it.”

Mikasa took in a shaky breath; yeah, that sounded about right. “I just don’t want to lose him. Especially now…now that we actually have a home.”

“Mikasa, if he managed to survive that hell we lived in, I’m pretty sure he’ll be okay. Just make sure he doesn’t drown himself in the ocean.”

She couldn’t hold back a small smile as she looked up to him. “Thank you for coming. I wish…I wish my parents could be here and Eren’s too. His mom would probably be the one to cry the whole way through.”

Levi scoffed. “I’m pretty sure Hanji will gladly take over that role. You should’ve heard her just on the way here.”

Mikasa had the laugh. “It’s just hard without them. We didn’t exactly have a normal childhood with normal milestones but this is something you always want your parents at. I had two sets, both of whom aren’t here.”

“But you aren’t alone. There are people waiting outside for you who came all the way out here to make sure they were a part of your day. All of whom are probably getting nervous you haven’t shown up yet. I would bet Kirstien is goading Jaeger that you ran away so are you ready?”

He was right. While she wanted her family to be here, she already did have a family who was here and that’s what was important. Mikasa nodded standing up to her feet.

Levi did the same, before grabbing her bouquet of red flowers off the nearby bed stand. He extended his arm to her and Mikasa took her flowers and his arm. She still felt a fluttering in her stomach but this time it wasn’t because she was upset, it was because Eren was waiting for her. Levi was right, there was no good focusing on the bad, when there was so much good going on.

The house was pretty small and it took very little time to get outside. Levi held the door or her before she took his arm again to lead her across the street and down to the nearby beach.

Mikasa could see the small set of chairs on the otherwise empty beach. There were more chairs than people but that was okay, that’s how she wanted it. Her heart skipped when she saw Eren standing at the front, dressed up similarly to Levi, and Armin standing beside him. Eren looked irritated as he was looking at someone in the chairs. She shouldn’t have been too surprised when she heard Jean saying something to him. Despite the grumpy look, Mikasa didn’t think she ever saw him look the way he did; there was a certain lightness in his face, and behind the glare directed a Jean she could see the happiness in his eyes. She wanted to just run up there and be with him, but she knew the anticipation was all part of the experience.

It was Armin who saw her first; she could tell by the wide grin the spread across his face before he nudged Eren with his shoulder. Eren looked like he was gonna look up over at Armin but she must’ve caught his eye first because his whole face changed. It was a mix of surprise and complete adoration as the biggest smile she ever saw on him pulled at his lips. It was impossible for Mikasa not to feel her cheeks heating up as a smile of her own wouldn’t leave her face.

The look on his face must have made the other’s realize she was there because suddenly all eyes were on her. There were a few exclamations, a few happy mutterings, and a few choked cries, though Mikasa thought that might just be Hanji whom Mikasa saw sitting in the front row. Sasha, Jean, and Connie were sitting together in one of the rows, and a few people her and Eren had gotten to know from town but most the rest of the seats were empty.

Levi held onto her firmly as he took her down the aisle that was made between the two sets of seats. One was left empty for each of their friends they lost who would’ve been here.  Two sets were left on either side of the front row aisle; one set for Mikasa’s parents and one set for Eren’s, with one more seat left for Hannes in the front.

She felt choked up just seeing the empty seats but it wasn’t meant to be a sad thing; she left them empty so in a way they’d be there with her and Eren today.

Levi gave Mikasa’s arm a squeeze as her pulled her hand out from his arm and held it lightly in his. Everyone else in the area, those who were there and those who weren’t left her mind; all she saw was Eren standing in front of her. He held his hand out for hers, his eyes never leaving her.

“Don’t make me regret this, kid,” Levi grunted, handing Mikasa’s hand over to Eren, but it was void of its usual hostile tone; a sign that he very well might be happy.

“I won’t.” Eren’s voice cracked a little when he spoke, reminding her of his much younger years as he took a firm hold of her hand.

Hanji came up to her side, taking the red bouquet from her as she and Levi took their seats.

Mikasa placed her other hand in Eren’s open one as he tugged her closer to him. The sun was in the process of setting over the ocean as a cool breeze blew by them, her dress blowing lightly against her. The clergyman from their town made his way to stand in front of them as he opened his book to read from. Maybe it was wrong of her, but she couldn’t even focus on what he was saying, not when Eren was still looking at her with that look on his face, his bright eyes shining.

“Hi,” he said in a low tone that only she could hear.

“Hi.” She knew everyone was watching them, but the smile on her face wouldn’t have gone away even if she wanted it to.

“You look beautiful, Mikasa. Are you sure you’re in the right place?” He was still grinning meaning he was just teasing her but she never wanted him to think she wanted to be anywhere else but with him.

“Yes. There’s nowhere else I’d want to be.”

His face softened again as he looked down at her. He looked like he was gonna say something else but his head snapped up as Mikasa noticed the silence around them too. She looked up to see the clergyman smiling knowingly at them.

“Are you ready to proceed now?”

Mikasa felt her face get hot as the tips of Eren’s ears went red at being caught not paying attention during their own wedding.

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” he said sheepishly as a snort Mikasa knew distinctively as Connie’s came from their audience.

“I see Jaeger’s talent to not listen hasn’t changed much,” Levi said getting a slap on the shoulder from Hanji.

“Oh, don’t give him a hard time,” Sasha said. “Look at her, who could blame him?”

“As I was saying,” the clergy man said rather loudly to shut everyone up again; it worked as their friends quieted down again. “The bride and groom have elected to state their own vows. Whenever you’re ready, Eren.”

Eren nodded and took in a shaky breath at the prompting. His hands were shaking lightly as he held onto her, his eyes meeting hers again. They both decided this is what they wanted to do, but Mikasa understood; neither of them were all that great at expressing how they felt through words. She saw a hand on Eren’s shoulder that she knew to be Armin’s, giving Eren a little more support and Mikasa, like always, was grateful for her other old friend’s presence. 

“Mikasa,” Eren breathed as he tried to reign in his own nerves; she squeezed his hands to let him know it was okay. “I know I didn’t know you my whole life, but I can’t even remember the time before I knew you. From the first time I saw you, as…” he paused looking for the right word. “Unconventional as that meeting was, I knew I always wanted you by my side. It was never a question, it was never a doubt.

“I know,” he paused again, struggling with his words a little. “I didn’t always treat you how I should have. In fact, it’s a little bit of a miracle you’re standing with me today.”

Another snort from the audience; it was Levi this time though Hanji seemed to shut him up again.

“I know I’ve told you a thousand times, but it will never seem to make up for the way I treated you when we were younger. It was never because I didn’t want you around, and it was never because I didn’t love you. It was because I wanted you by my side forever that I wanted to keep you safe, and it was because I loved you too much not to want to protect you. I hated the thought that you might only be around me because you felt like you owed me something because it was never that to me. I brought you home that day because I wanted you with me and I wanted you to be with me because you wanted to.

He reached out to her cheek to wipe away a tear Mikasa didn’t even know had fallen as she listened to him. “I wouldn’t be here without you and I wouldn’t want to be. I meant it that day I told you we’d always be together. For as long as I can remember I’ve never wanted anything else.” He dropped his hand back down to hers and took it again.

“Mikasa,” the clergyman prompted making Mikasa jump out of her trance slightly.

It was Eren’s turn to give her hands a supporting squeeze as his eyes watched her. She tried to open her mouth but all she could feel was choked up, trying not to let the tears run down her face. She had known Eren’s feelings for her for years at this point, they had been together for so long but this was still all she had ever wanted for so long that it was hard not to feel the way she was listening to Eren’s words; that he loved her just as much as she loved him.

“It’s okay,” Eren said, reaching both his hands to her face to wipe her fallen tears away. He was still smiling but she could see his own glossy eyes.

Armin’s hand reached over Eren’s shoulder with a handkerchief; he apparently came prepared. Eren took it and handed it to Mikasa who tried to dab at her tears without smudging the makeup Sasha had worked so hard on. She passed it back over Eren’s shoulder to Armin who she saw for the first time since she walked up the aisle; she had to smile when she saw he hadn’t brought the handkerchief for them but for himself. He gave her a smile and a thumbs up when she caught his eye.

Mikasa looked back to Eren who took her hands again. “I’ve loved you for a very long time, Eren, long before I even knew what love was. All I knew was you were the most important person in my world and I just wanted to always be with you. You brought warmth into my life, you brought hope; you gave me something to fight for, someone to fight for.

“From the moment I came home with you, I never wanted to leave your side. I followed you everywhere you went to be with you, just to be near you. Everything was better when you were near me; I felt safe with you. It was like all the bad things in the world could disappear for a little while when you were near me. You drove the bad thoughts away, the nightmares by just being you.

“I know I was overbearing at times, and I know I drove you crazy,” she let out a choked laugh. “But it was only because I couldn’t bear to have anything happen to you…I couldn’t lose you.” She tightened her grip on his hands. “I still could never bear to lose you. You mean the world to me; I still always want to stay by your side and I always will.”

It was her turn to reach up and wipe his tears away. He let out a small laugh as he leaned his head in her hand.

“Do you have the rings?” the clergyman asked reminding Mikasa he was standing there.

“I got them,” Armin spoke up though his voice was choked. With a wide smile, he walked over to hand one to Eren and one to Mikasa before stepping back to his spot next to Eren.

“Eren Jaeger,” the clergyman said. “Do you take Mikasa Ackerman as your wife from now until death due you part?”

“I do.”

Mikasa took the ring that Armin had handed her and placed it down on Eren’s ring finger.

“Mikasa Ackerman.” The clergyman turned towards her. “Do you take Eren Jaeger as your husband from now until death due you part?”

“I do.” She felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Everything was okay; everything would always be okay if Eren was there with her.

Eren took a hold of her left hand and slid the simple band down on her finger. She looked down at their hands, the bands on their fingers binding them in a way they always were but it made her heart skip knowing now everyone would know too. He pulled his hand from hers causing her to look up at him.

“Eren,” she said, reaching out to run her fingers over her red scarf he was holding in his hands. Armin must have had it with him the whole time. She had put it away after the first few years of peace not needing the comfort it normally provided when Eren was always safe around her and wanting to put the bad memories behind her; it felt like it had been ages since she saw it.

“I thought it was appropriate,” Eren said, carefully placing the scarf under her veil and around her neck.

She reached up to place her hand over his when he trailed his hand down the front of the scarf. He took both her hands again, waiting for the final say of the ceremony.

“Well, if that’s all,” the clergyman spoke up. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Eren hands were around her waist in a moment, pulling her as close to him as she could. She reached her hands around his neck as his lips met hers. She had kissed him countless times and she loved every minute of it, this was no exception. Eren picked her up off her feet as she pressed her forehead against him. She could hear some cheers and cat calling she knew could only belong to Connie and Sasha. She laughed against Eren’s lips and she felt him smiling as well.

He put her back down and turned to look around at the people who were standing on their feet now. Everyone was clapping, including Levi though Hanji was the one who was wiping the tears from her eyes. The empty seats in front of her weren’t sad anymore, because she knew how happy they all would’ve been on this day.

Armin reached an arm around Eren pulling him and Mikasa into a hug. “I’m so proud of you guys,” he said, his head close to theirs. “Now, please go and make me an Uncle already.”

Eren swatted Armin away while he only laughed; it was always nice to see Armin so happy too. Hanji tossed Mikasa’s bouquet back to her, which she caught with the hand that Eren wasn’t holding.

“May I introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger,” the clergyman spoke over the crowd.

Hearing the words, her new name made her stomach flutter in a way that it never had before. This was real. This was her life. After everything they had gone through, they finally had their family again.

Eren leaned down to press his lips against hers once more before leading her back down the aisle and to their house, knowing everyone else would follow. Mikasa waved over at her old friends standing together, the only ones other than her, Eren, and Armin to make it out of the 104th. Sasha and Connie were still clapping and grinning but Mikasa could see the tears in Sasha’s eyes; even Jean was slightly smiling at them, but it was better than his normal scowl.

He must’ve seen her looking at him because his eyes met hers. “Hey, Jaeger,” Jean called out getting Eren’s attention.

“What kinda snarky words do you have for me today.” Eren rolled his eyes though he was still grinning.

Jean’s smile grew as he crossed his arms against his chest. “It’s about goddamn time.”


	43. Make Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 6th - Makeup
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern College AU where Mikasa and Eren have never met before  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 6629

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so stuck on this prompt because I just had no idea what would work in canon where I was originally going set it but then I started thinking about when is make up used for someone who wouldn’t normally wear it, on a date, maybe a blind date and thus this one came about. I normally like writing them as childhood friends, quite clearly since they are in almost every single one of my stories haha but as I was writing this I fell in love with them meeting as they were older and forming that strong bond they have even as childhood friends.

Mikasa really had no issues with Sasha; she was fun where Mikasa was serious, she was out going where Mikasa was quiet. As friends they balanced each other out quite well but Mikasa couldn’t help but feel a twinge of irritation as she sat on the edge of Sasha’s bed, stuck in this situation that was completely Sasha’s fault.

“Stop squinting,” Sasha scolded leaning over close to Mikasa, eyeliner in one hand and the other holding Mikasa’s chin still.

“How can I stop squinting when you keep poking me in the eye with that?”

Sasha gave her a look that made Mikasa sigh and try to relax her face as Sasha moved her hand once more to put the think black lines close to Mikasa’s eyes. She tried to think of anything else that wasn’t what she was in store for tonight but her stomach was too knotted already, her hands fidgeting with the knee length green dress Sasha had fitted her in. It was a simple A-line dress with short sleeves; casual but classy, Sasha had said despite Mikasa’s protests.

“Look up,” Sasha said moving to Mikasa’s lower eye.

She sighed but stared up at the ceiling. Why did she let Sasha talk her into this? She didn’t want to go on a regular date, let alone a blind date; the thought alone was enough to make her feel sick. She barely talked to people she knew for years let alone some guy she never met before; their only connection being Sasha was the lab partner of one of his friends Mikasa only met once.

Sasha leaned back letting Mikasa know she was done with the eyeliner. “Stop looking like you’re going to a funeral, it’s just a date.”

“Easy for you to say,” Mikasa muttered. “You’ve at least met the guy.”

Sasha dropped the eyeliner into her makeup bag before fishing out some dark eye shadow. “You really think I’d put you up with a guy I didn’t think was good enough for my best friend? Please, ‘Kasa, how little do you think of me?” Sasha was smiling as she opened the small container letting Mikasa know Sasha was just teasing to lighten the mood. “Close your eyes, please.”

Mikasa did with another sigh. If the dress was bad enough, the makeup was worse; none of this fit her and despite her multiple protests, Sasha wouldn’t let her leave the dorm room until Mikasa was up to Sasha’s blind date standards.

“Besides, you’ve met Armin before. He’s a nice guy,” Sasha said as Mikasa felt light pressure on her eyelids. “It’s his best friend. He told me he’s known the guy since they were kids. They were like neighbors or something and stop getting so angry with me; it was technically Armin’s idea. He said you two would be perfect the moment he met you.”

Mikasa felt Sasha move to her other eye. “I only met Armin once.”

“But I’ve known him almost the whole semester and you trust me don’t you?”

Mikasa hesitated earning a punch in the shoulder from Sasha. “Okay, okay, of course I do.”

“Then stop freaking out. I purposely asked to meet him before I set any of this up because I wasn’t going to put you up with some loser.” Sasha moved back to the other eye. “He’s an artist you know, I thought a free spirit like me might do you some good to get that stick out of your ass.”

Mikasa opened her eyes to narrow them at Sasha.

“Don’t give me that look, you know it’s true. When was the last time you even went on a date? High school?”

Mikasa had to think about it for a moment which probably gave Sasha all the answer she needed, and a smug look on her face. It was high school; Jean had asked her out a few times and she finally said yes, just to give it a try. While he was a nice guy and treated her well, something just wasn’t there for her and she broke it off after just a few dates. She had been a junior in high school then, she was a sophomore in college now.

“I rest my case, now close your eyes, I’m almost done.” Sasha leaned back down as Mikasa did was she said, but not without a sigh.

“What’s his name again?” Mikasa asked begrudgingly hoping Sasha would take that as some kind of enthusiasm and get off Mikasa’s case. She remembered though; Eren, his name was Eren Jaeger, Armin’s best friend and roommate, the painter.

“Eren,” Sasha said in a much more cheerful tone, Mikasa assumed it had worked. “Just wait till you see him, ‘Kasa.” She let out a low whistle as the pressure resumed on her eyelids. “He is gorgeous, tanned skin, messy brown hair, and the most beautiful eyes you’ll ever see.”

Yeah, that was all Mikasa needed, to be in the presence of the Greek god while she felt like a little girl who got into mommy’s make up. “Then why don’t you go on the date.”

“Because he’s not my type, but he is yours and don’t tell me you don’t have one because I know you do. There.” Sasha pulled away causing Mikasa to open her eyes; Sasha already had the lipstick in her hands. “One last touch. Pucker up.”

Mikasa tried not to grimace as Sasha ran the smooth lipstick over Mikasa’s lips. She couldn’t even remember the last time she wore make up; senior prom maybe which come to think of it Sasha dragged her to as well.

“All done!” Sasha dropped the lipstick into the bag and pulled out a hand mirror. “Well, what do ya think?”

As much as Mikasa wasn’t used to seeing makeup on her face, she almost gasped at her friend’s handiwork. Despite how long she was sitting here getting poked at by Sasha, the makeup was very natural on Mikasa’s face, no bright colors or heavy caked on foundation; it brought out her eyes, made her face look brighter than normal, her black hair falling around her shoulders framing her face in a way she’d never get her hair to do.

“You like?” Sasha asked, taking a seat next to Mikasa.

“Yeah, I do, thank you.” Mikasa placed the mirror down feeling a little bit better; at least she didn’t look like someone who never did their own makeup before and look even more stupid in front of her date. Oh God, her date. She glanced over to the clock on the nightstand; there were only fifteen minutes left.

“Anything for you,” Sasha pushed herself up to her feet and reached to grab a small purse and a black cardigan. “Alright, it’s show time. Here’s your purse with your phone, keys, anything you might need and a sweater in case it gets cold.”

Mikasa stood to her feet taking the things that were being shoved at her; her stomach was already fluttering anxiously feeling more like she was going to throw up more than anything.

“Here’s your shoes.” Sasha placed black sandals that laced up her calf in front of her and Mikasa silently thanked her friend for not shoving her in heels on top of it all. As if she didn’t feel self-conscious enough all she needed to do was fall on her face in front of this guy. “I’ll walk you down don’t worry,” Sasha said as she laced up the shoes. “I’m not gonna just shove you into the shark tank. Ready?”

Mikasa shook her head in a distinct no but Sasha was already on her feet, the dorm door open.

“After you.” Sasha was grinning so wide you really would think this was her date, not Mikasa who suddenly couldn’t keep her hands from shaking, her stomach only knotting up even more.

The elevator ride and walk outside was quiet, Sasha practically skipping next to her as they walked the path from their dorm building to the main entrance of the library. At least one of them was excited, Mikasa just wanted to go to bed even though the sun was still in the process of setting. There was only one final set of steps that separated her from the entrance of the library and Mikasa couldn’t bring herself to take that first step. This was all unknown; she hadn’t dated in so long and even then it was someone she knew. This, she didn’t even know this guy, how was she supposed to talk to him?

Sasha’s hand on her back snapped her out of her thoughts. “It’s gonna be okay, Mikasa, I promise. I’d never put you in a situation I didn’t think you could handle, okay?”

“Okay,” Mikasa swallowed. With Sasha still by her side, she took the first step up the staircase.

“She’s quiet, so try not to be overwhelming,” a voice that even at a distance Mikasa could recognize as Armin’s hit her ears; her stomach lurched, they must already be there.

“I know, you’ve told me ten thousand times already.” That voice was deeper but calm; it was one she didn’t recognize which meant it had to be him.

She halted on the last few steps; Mikasa couldn’t see them quite yet, there still being a corner of the building to go around. Sasha nearly had to drag her up the last few steps when Mikasa’s nerves got the better of her.

“And try not to lose your temper either. Not everyone is as used to you being a hothead as I am.”

“Armin, I got it. You act like I’ve never been on a date before.”

“Well, it has been a while.” There was some laughter from Armin that made Mikasa envision this guy going after Armin like Mikasa had gone after Sasha for saying the same thing. There wasn’t much longer till they reached the corner now and she had to swallow hard to keep her legs moving. There was no way to chicken out now.

“I’m only saying, I think you’ll like her. So don’t mess it up.”

Armin obviously didn’t know they were right around the corner but his words just made Mikasa want to groan; now Armin was building her up to be something special. She was pretty sure with the way her stomach was still tied up it was gonna be her to mess it up not him.  

“Hey, Armin!” Sasha waved the moment they turned the corner to let the boys know they were here.

“Oh hey, Sasha, hey, Mikasa,” Armin smiled warmly with a wave of his own as he started to walk over to them.

For a moment Mikasa could only look over at Armin, trying to smile past her nerves to wave to him as well and try not to throw up. It couldn’t be avoided any longer though, Armin already looking over at the other body walking towards them.

“Hey, Eren,” Sasha smiled kindly, placing one hand on Mikasa’s shoulder in what she assumed was comfort. “Good to see you again.”

“Yeah, good to see you too.”

Mikasa’s eyes flickered over to the guy who was now standing in front of her; she had to look up at him, him being a little bit taller than her and she hoped to God he didn’t see the way her breath caught in her throat. Sasha hadn’t been kidding. It was his eyes that stood out first, a bright turquoise that was looking right at her. He had a boyish face but the messy brown hair Sasha had mentioned did make him look a little older; he had a small smile on his face as he looked at her but one that was warm, kind. Her cheeks were already heating up at his gaze and they hadn’t even talked yet; yeah, this was gonna be more than embarrassing for her tonight. What was Sasha thinking?

Armin gave Eren a sharp elbow to the ribs causing him to break his gaze on Mikasa to glare over at his friend. He only gave Eren an amused look Mikasa couldn’t quite read before nodding back over to her.

“Hey,” Eren said, reaching a hand out towards her. “I’m Eren.”

“Mikasa,” she said slipping her small hand into his as he gave it a couple shakes. She wasn’t sure who gave handshakes anymore but she couldn’t help but notice how warm his hand was before he dropped it away from hers.

“Are you ready to…?” he gestured behind him, to the steps that lead up to a parking lot.

“Ah yeah,” she said, her hands gripping onto her sweater. She turned to wave to Sasha who was standing by Armin now but Sasha put a hand to the side of her face and mouthed what Mikasa thought was “I told you he was hot”. Which didn’t help, it only made her face flush again; she quickly turned from Sasha to follow Eren up the steps.

“He’s as nervous as she is, isn’t he?” Sasha’s voice spoke softly behind them.

Armin chuckled. “Oh yeah.”

Mikasa couldn’t hear them anymore as she met Eren at the top of the staircase. She felt the nerves tightening in her stomach again now that both Armin and Sasha weren’t with them anymore; she was on her own now with a guy she managed to say one word to. She glanced over to him but he was looking ahead, his keys in his hand.

There weren’t too many cars in the parking lot, it being Friday and residents going home for the weekend but she couldn’t help but be surprised when he placed his hand on the trunk of his car. It was quite possibly the oldest car in the parking lot nor did it really fit the polo shirt, dark jeans, and tennis shoes look he had.

“I know, I know,” he said walking over to the passenger side to unlock the door. “It’s a bit of a beater.” He had to shimmy the key to get the wide door to open for her. “But it runs, I promise.”

Mikasa sat down into the low seat keeping her things on her lap as he shut the door behind her. She didn’t have a problem with it; she herself didn’t even have a car so he was already a step above her. He sat down in the driver’s seat and started up the car. It was loud at first but it did quiet down, Eren maneuvering the stick shift, which Mikasa recognized to be a standard, into reverse.  

“Armin begged me to take his car,” Eren said, slipping the car into first to leave the parking lot. “So I apologize if I make a bad impression because of it, but his car is a dinky little Prius that makes you feel claustrophobic just sitting in it.”

She let out a small laugh, hoping it didn’t sound as nervous as she felt. “No, its fine.”

It was quiet as Eren turned onto the main road driving down the street, his eyes on the road in front of him. Mikasa knew she should say something, after all he had done all the talking so far but what did she say? Did she ask about his day? About school? What he liked to do? Where they were going? Yeah, that last one seemed safe enough.

She opened her mouth to say, “Did you-” the same time he said, “You look-” They both broke off, Mikasa feeling the awkward “what am I supposed to say now?” silence.

“I’m sorry,” she said mentally slapping herself. “You go ahead.”

“Ah, that’s okay you go on.”

“No really, its fine.” She just wanted to bury her face in her hands; she had no idea what she was doing.

Eren let out a small laugh. “I was gonna say that you, ah, you look really nice.”

Mikasa felt the heat rush right to her cheeks. “Oh, um, thank you,” she reached up to run her fingers against some of her hair. “It was Sasha really, she took hours making me sit there and this is the result.” That was not the right thing to say; not at all. She should’ve just stuck with thanks; he was complimenting her and she basically told him this isn’t how she looks ever.

To her surprise he just laughed. “Well, if you think any of this,” he gestured to himself. “Came from my closet I can reassure you it didn’t. That was Armin.”

“No wonder they get along,” she muttered, but not without a small smile; at least she didn’t feel so alone now.

Eren snorted. “You’re telling me.”

There was silence again but this time Mikasa glanced over at him. “Sasha tells me you’re a painter?”

“Yes,” Eren nodded. “I’m one of those art students, which normally you can tell.” Eren held up his hand and wiggled his fingers before putting it back on the stick shift. “But I was told under no circumstances could I have paint on my hands tonight.”

“What do you like to paint?” she asked trying to keep the small talk up and avoid a lapse into awkward silence. She didn’t really know much about art being a sports person herself so all she could hope for was she didn’t embarrass herself with her lack of knowledge.

“Portraits, that’s my specialty,” he glanced over to her was a smile making Mikasa feel like she was going to melt on the spot. “It’s what my mom taught me and it’s what stuck with me.”

“Is your mom an artist too?”

Eren hesitated for a moment, downshifting the car for the red light in the distance. “Yeah, she was an artist. She passed away when I was nine.”

If Mikasa could hit her head on the dashboard she probably would have. Yeah, way to go, bring up the dead parent on the first and probably only date, good going. “I’m so sorry, I-”

He looked over at her again, a smile still on his face. “Don’t worry about it, Mikasa.”

She nodded looking back down at her hands. Oh God, what a mess. Maybe she shouldn’t open her mouth anymore; what was Sasha thinking doing this to her.

“I picked a restaurant not to far from here,” Eren said like nothing had ever happened. “It doesn’t look like much on the outside, but the food is delicious.”

“Okay,” Mikasa said with a nod. Here was this nice guy, who was also incredibly attractive and Mikasa couldn’t keep it together enough to have a conversation with him. She tried to suck it up, that dwelling on it would only make things worse but for the first time in a long while, she didn’t want to blow this one.

Eren pulled into a parking lot at what looked like some kind of strip mall she never saw before. Sasha was the one with the car so generally they went to burger joints downtown but this was something entirely different. He parked the car in front of one the businesses in the strip mall before he out. Mikasa popped open her door stepping out into the still warm air. Eren looked like he had been walking over to her but made for the building instead; he held the door for her and followed her inside.

“Eren!” the hostess exclaimed the moment the door shut.

“Hey, Hanji,” he waved, walking behind Mikasa.

“Where’s your dad today?” Hanji was leaning over the stand which held the seating charts and menus, looking rather casual despite her clothing being rather dressy.

“He’s visiting some hospital to do a lecture or something,” Eren shrugged. “I still need a table for two though.”

There weren’t too many people in the rather small area, quite a few empty tables around but the restaurant had a nice atmosphere and it did smell delicious; she didn’t even realize how hungry she was until she stepped in. She did notice the jerseys of one of teams from her school; she wondered if they maybe came here after practice but she didn’t look too much into it, her eyes looking back over to the hostess.

Hanji stood back up as if just noticing Mikasa there. “Ohh.” A knowing smile was pulling at her lips as she eyed Mikasa, who felt that telltale heat on her cheeks. “She’s a cute one, Eren, good job.” She grabbed a few menus before turning towards the kitchen behind her. “Follow me.” She led them over to a table by the window that comfortably sat two. “I’ll be back with some drinks,” Hanji said as they sat down.

Eren shook his head as he flipped open the menu. “Sorry about her. I just knew Sasha said you liked places that weren’t the same old one she dragged you too so I figured you’ve never been here before.”

“No, I haven’t, this is wonderful,” she said looking down at the different dishes the restaurant had to offer. “I take it you have though,” Mikasa glanced up at him with a small smile.

“My dad’s friends with the owners so we always come here. Just about everything is good, so get whatever you want.”

Mikasa skimmed over the menu trying to pick something not too big just in case she started to feel nervous again but sitting here across from him in a quiet place, she was starting to feel better. She settled on a sandwich before closing the menu only to find Eren’s eyes on her. He glanced out the window the moment her eyes met his but he looked back after a moment. “Found something?”

“Ah, yeah,” she nodded.

“We can order whenever Hanji gets back. Be warned I have no idea what she is making back there.”

Mikasa chuckled softly, her hands landing in her lap. “That’s okay.”

It was quiet between them for a moment, before Eren placed his hands casually on the table. “So I hear you’re a martial artist.”

She nodded with a smile; at least this was within her realm. “Since I was a kid.”

“Does that mean you can break wood with your hands?”

Mikasa laughed at the slightly boyish glint in his eyes; she normally didn’t like talking about this on dates or with guys in general. They normally didn’t take to well to being around a girl who was probably stronger than they were but Eren actually seemed interested. “I have, and with my feet.”

He let out a whistle. “Bet you could pick me up and carry me around then.”

It was a humorous image that made her laugh again; a real laugh, not an awkward one or a one to cover her nerves, just a laugh. “I don’t know about that. Would you like me to princess carry you around?”

“Ah, Mikasa, it hasn’t even been an hour and you already know my heart’s desire.”

Another laugh, this one made her stomach hurt, but in all the good ways. He was smiling too, a smile she hadn’t seen yet from him; the way it lit up his face, his eyes nearly made her heart stop.

“Hey, Mikasa, what’re you doing out here?”

Mikasa glanced up in slight surprise at the voice. Yeah, this place didn’t seem to be too far from campus  and she did see members of a campus team here but she wasn’t exactly expecting to see someone she knew. Jean was already walking over to her table, a nice smile on his face.

“Oh, hey, Jean,” she said, not exactly sure what the protocol was when other guys came up to you while you were on a date. It wasn’t too unusual; Jean hung out with Sasha and Connie still so she was still friends with him but it didn’t make that awkward feeling of a boy she once dated coming up to her on a date she was enjoying. “I’m, uh, actually on a date. I dunno if Sasha told you or not...”

Jean’s smile disappeared when his eyes glanced over at Eren, who with a straight face just gave a bit of an annoyed wave. “Really, Mikasa? Jaeger, of all people?”

The tension that suddenly came over the table was worse than any awkward feelings she had felt in the car. Her stomach lurched when she saw Eren’s eyes that had once been bright, narrow down at Jean. “Maybe you should mind your own business, _Kirstein_ , cause I’m pretty sure no one asked you for your opinion.”

“Do you, ah, know each other?” Mikasa asked, though the looks on both their faces told her that well enough and that it wasn’t a very good relationship.

“We have a few mutual friends,” Jean crossed his arms against his chest. “But his loud mouth gets unbearable pretty fast.”

Mikasa saw Eren’s jaw clenched looking away from Jean. “Jean, did you come here with someone? Maybe you should go back to them,” she tried not really wanting his company or his own big mouth to make this situation worse when it was finally getting better.

“Yeah, I’m here with some of the guys on the team.” Jean gestured to a table behind him. “I came over her to say hi, but now I feel like I should be the one to save you.”

“Maybe you should ask her what she wants,” Eren said, that warm tone she had gotten used to gone and replaced with a disgruntled one.

Jean wasn’t getting the hint, or he just didn’t care, Mikasa really couldn’t tell. “This was a blind date was it not? At least that’s what Sasha told me, she just didn’t tell me who. It makes sense though; Mikasa probably wouldn’t have wanted to go on the thing at all had she known who it was with.”

Eren stood to his feet, his chair scraping across the stone floor, and his hands clenched at his sides. Mikasa wasn’t sure if he was going to yell at him or punch him out but she had enough. She pushed herself up to her feet and stepped between them.

“Jean, I don’t believe anyone asked you for your opinion so please, go back to your own dinner.” Mikasa turned away from him not looking whether he stayed or left but judging by the way Eren eyes were watching him over her shoulder it looked like he finally left. Eren took a step forward but Mikasa placed a hand on his chest keeping him where he was. “He was trying to get a rise out of you, that’s all. There’s no reason to stay angry. He won’t come back over here.”

Eren still was looking after him so Mikasa reached up and grabbed his jaw, pulling his face down until his eyes were on her.

“There’s nothing to be angry about, I promise you.” She wasn’t sure where her bought of confidence came from with him, she had barely known him for an hour and yet she watched his eyes soften. She dropped her hand from his face now that she was sure he wouldn’t lunge after Jean, not that she blamed him all that much. She knew Jean could be abrasive to people sometimes but that was intentionally trying to push Eren’s buttons, and it worked.

“Are you still hungry?” she tried, gesturing back to the table.

Eren didn’t say anything; he just walked by her and went out the door.

Mikasa swallowed thinking she had overstepped her bounds with Eren making him leave, but she wasn’t about to give Jean that gratification. She grabbed her bag and sweater and followed Eren out the door. He was already sitting in his car when she found him, his head against the steering wheel. She opened the door and slid into the passenger seat, shutting the door behind her.

He sighed pulling himself up and looking over at her. “Jesus, I screwed this up didn’t I.”

Mikasa’s forehead furrowed. “You…what?”

“Armin warned me, he tried to tell me not to let something lose my temper and there you have it.” He sighed again running a hand over his face. “I was just already so damn nervous over this whole thing that the moment he started saying those things, I just lost it.”

“ _You_ were nervous?” Mikasa felt like she was gaping at him now.

“Well yeah, I was nervous before all this when Armin told me he was setting me up with a beautiful, smart, martial artist that could probably kick my ass and then I saw you, and beautiful was an understatement. I just had no idea what to say because I didn’t want to make a fool of myself and ruin my one shot, and I go a ruin my one shot by letting that asshole get to me.”

Mikasa couldn’t help it she just started laughing, she felt Eren’s eyes on her and she didn’t want him to think she was laughing at him. “No, no,” she said in between laughs. “My stomach’s been in knots all day over this. _I_ was the one who was nervous.” She took a breath to stop the laughter. “I was afraid I’d say something stupid and make myself look like an idiot, which I feel like I already have multiple times but you still seemed to want to talk to me. Nothing Jean was saying was true. I want to be here, if…if you still want me to be.” She watched that warm smile cross over his face again as he leaned in to start up the car.

“I have a better idea than a restaurant.”

Mikasa tried several times to get Eren to tell her where he was taking her but his lips were completely sealed. She was amazed how easy it was now that she stopped worrying about looking perfect and just enjoyed the presence of the person she was on a date with.

She learned his father was a well-known doctor and she learned that she loved the way he laughed when she asked why he had such a beater car then. She told him her mother was a professor at their college and her father was a cop to which Eren asked if he should be afraid. She told him no, unless he never brought her home (though she left out that she wouldn’t mind). They talked about being only children, about their favorite movies, about the TV shows they liked, about school both college and high school. Mikasa wanted to hear about Eren’s private school where he wanted to hear about public high school. She talked about how she met Sasha when Eren said he never remembered a time in his life he didn’t know Armin. He asked why Jean was such an asshole and with poking and prodding from Eren she finally told him she had dated Jean for a brief time in high school, to which Eren made many gagging noises only to get a playful hit on the shoulder from Mikasa.

By the time Mikasa looked out the window to see the moon high in the sky, she felt like she had known Eren her whole life, it seemed stupid to have felt so nervous around someone who was already making her so happy. For the first time in what seemed like ages, she didn’t care where they were going, she was just enjoying the ride.

“Here we are,” Eren said pulling up to a house bigger than Mikasa’s and her neighbors put together.

“Where are we?” she asked with wide eyes, looking at the dark house.

“C’mon,” he said, opening up his door to step out. “I’ll show you.”

She followed him out of the car and up to the house which only looked bigger the closer she got. Much to her surprise though, he didn’t walk her up to the front of the house but through a path around the back, leading them up to a fence.

“Alright,” he said crouching down in front of the gate. “Wanna hand?” Eren cupped his hands gesturing for her to step onto him.

“Did you really bring me all the way here to trespass in someone’s back yard?”

“I know the owner,” he waved her off. “He won’t care I promise. I’d go in the front but no one’s home and I don’t have the key.”

Mikasa, the daughter of a cop, stick by the rules, serious Mikasa, didn’t hesitated to place her foot in Eren’s hands, helping her scale the fence and jump over with ease. She smelt it in the air and she heard the waves but it wasn’t until she was standing in this person’s back yard looking over the moonlit ocean that her breath was taken away.

“Pretty isn’t it,” Eren said once he had landed next to her like he had done it a dozen times.

“Beautiful,” she said.

Eren was already kicking off his shoes and rolling up his pants so Mikasa worked on the laces of her sandals until she was standing next to him in her bare feet as well. He led her down the grass of the rather large backyard and down onto the cool sand of the beach, the waves crashing nearby. She was utterly amazed; it was much better than a restaurant.

“So,” she said walking beside him until the waves hit her feet, rushing cool water over them. “Just how many girls how you shown this view to.” She only wanted to tease him, something she wasn’t quite used to but with him it was just coming naturally.

Eren let out a soft chuckle before he looked down to her. “You’re the first one.”

She expected a joke in return, but the sincerity of his voice caught her off guard. “Why? I’m just the blind date.”

Eren shook his head. “Maybe at first, I mean, that’s all it was. Our friends thinking it might work but you were the girl who made me feel like I was back on my first date again, who made me want to impress you, who made me nervous and unsure of myself.” He paused for a moment. “I have a temper, I know that, but not many people can bring right out of it like you did. That’s not just a blind date, even I know that.” He turned until he was facing her, the moon reflecting on the water lighting up his face.

“You were a Greek god,” she mumbled still not sure what to make of what he was telling her.

“I was a what?” he arched an eyebrow at her, an amused look on his face.

She shook her head, wishing she hadn’t blurted that one out. “Sasha, when she described you. I felt like I was going to go on a date with a Greek god.”

Eren snorted in laughter.

She hit him on the arm. “And it did seem that way at first but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.” He stopped laughing to look at her again. “Is that weird?” she asked.

Eren shook his head, taking a step towards her. “Not at all.”

Mikasa looked up at him, her legs brushing against him as his head tilted down towards hers. Mother Nature had another idea though, sending a wave crashing right infront of them and splashing water everywhere.

Mikasa reached up to wipe the water out of her face while Eren let out an exasperated laugh; at least only a part of Sasha’s green dress had gotten wet. When she pulled her hands away though, they were covered in black streaks. Her eyes. When the water got on her and mixing with touching her face she must have smudged the make up everywhere. Mikasa tried not to groan as she rubbed around her eyes to wipe away the excess before Eren looked up from ringing the excess water from his shirt.

“Having trouble?” his amused voice made her look up at him.

She dropped her hands with a frustrated sigh. “I’m not used to all of this.” She gestured to her face.

Eren snorted in laughter causing Mikasa to feel a bundle of nerves come back up at her now very disarrayed looks but he just lifted his polo over his head, leaving him in his undershirt. She was trying not to stare at him when he moved closer to her again, holding his bundled shirt up to her face. Her eyes fluttered shut when she felt him begin to brush over her face, wiping away her running eyeliner and mascara. She opened them again when she felt his hand drop from her face.

“There all better,” he said, his face close to hers, closer than she remembered.

Her breath caught in her throat when she felt his warm breath on her lips causing her to tilt her head up to brush her lips with his.

That was all it took; Eren tossed his now black smeared shirt away and wrapped his arms firmly around her waist, pulling her right into him, his mouth moving with hers. Mikasa wouldn’t deny that it had been quite a while since she found herself in this situation but it didn’t matter, not anymore. She ran her hands up his arms and onto his shoulders, one hand reaching up to run through his thick hair and her lips never leaving his.

One of his hands reached up to her back, keeping her pressed to him as he moved to deepen their kiss; something Mikasa didn’t object to at all.

“Eren?” a voice called out causing Mikasa to nearly jump out of her skin, but Eren didn’t let her go. “Is that you out there?”

She hadn’t even noticed the lights come on in the back of the house until now, nor the figure walking down the porch and onto the grass.

“Dad? What’re you doing here? I thought you were still gonna be away?”

“Dad?” Mikasa echoed looking back to Eren. “This is _your_ house?”

“Well, beach house,” he said, before looking back to his father coming closer to them.

“I came back early and decided to make sure everything was okay here,” Dr. Jaeger said, stopping when he reached the edge of the grass and the sand. “Who’s with you?”

Eren loosened his grip on Mikasa lightly but still had both his hands on her waist. “Mikasa, my blind date Armin set me up on.”

Mikasa was feeling the heat rise to her cheeks again; it wasn’t exactly how she expected meeting his father or quite this soon.

“Oh, well, hello Mikasa,” he said, a smile on his face.

“Ah, hi,” Mikasa waved.

“I take it its going well then?” His eyebrow was arched but he looked amused enough to know he was teasing.

“It’s better now,” Eren answered.

“Have you eaten?”

“No,” Eren hesitated for a moment. “I kinda blew that one.”

Dr. Jaeger chuckled with a shake of his head. “I’ll have Petra make you something up. Just come in when you want. It was nice to meet you, Mikasa. I take it I’ll see you again?”

She looked up to Eren whose eyes were already on hers. There was a light smile on his face though he was clearly waiting for her answer. Mikasa wasn’t sure how she went from feeling terrified and nervous around this boy, not even feeling herself in her own skin, to standing on the beach with him like he was always a part of her life. She had a funny feeling both Sasha and Armin were going to have a lot of “I told you so”’s soon.

She smiled up at Eren, a real smile, before looking back over to Dr. Jaeger. “Yes, I would think so.”


	44. Hardcore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 7th - Hardcore
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern AU; Set in an ER when they are early college aged  
> Rating: T (Strong Language)  
> Words: 2974

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea what to do for this prompt at first, but then I thought of Eren doing some ridiculous stunt and ending up hurt for it and here you go. I also know I’m a sap and don’t write them fighting often but that is a key part to their relationship and something I did feel would come into play here (don’t worry there’s still plenty fluff xD)

There was nothing more miserable than spending a Saturday in the ER waiting room. Eren just wanted to walk right out those automatic doors he came in and get back out into the sunshine of his weekend but that would be a little bit difficult when he couldn’t actually walk. He looked down at his leg, propped up across a few of the waiting room chairs, and bound by the temporary cast the EMTs in the ambulance had put him in. It was weird to look at; it was swollen up to his knee with big purple bruises coming in and a few cuts they had cleaned up in the ambulance. It wasn’t like it hurt all _that_ much, at least when there was no pressure on it, but it was pretty gross to look at. Regardless, it wasn’t how he wanted to spend his Saturday; it was the last thing he wanted to do on his Saturday.

He turned his head too look around the others in the room. There were a few parents with kids, an old guy who sounded like he was coughing up his lungs every six seconds, a teenage girl with her arm in a sling sitting next to her mom, someone in the corner who looked like he hadn’t slept in ten years, a college aged guy with a broken nose, a various few people who looked about as miserable as he was but Eren’s favorite was the guy who had his arm stuck in some kind of metal tube.

Eren turned to look directly over his shoulder. “Hey, Mikasa,” he whispered to the black haired girl sitting next to him. “How drunk do you think that guy was to pull that one off? Well, not pull it off I guess.”

The only response he got was Mikasa’s narrowed eyes glaring at him before she looked away again.

Correction, there was nothing more miserable than spending a Saturday in the ER waiting room _and_ having one of your best friends pissed off at you. He sighed and turned back around. She had been angry since the ambulance got there, and in the ambulance, and for the hours they had been sitting here waiting to be called in. At least once Armin knew Eren was okay he chilled out a little bit but Mikasa barely showed any sympathy, just anger.

Okay, so it was his fault. He probably shouldn’t have jumped his bike off the relatively high stone wall and onto the pavement that might’ve had too much dirt and small rocks on it causing his bike to skid out and the full impact landing on his leg. Yeah, Mikasa specifically told him not to do it but it was Mikasa, she always told him not to do things that he was gonna do anyway. So okay in this case, she was right…like she normally was.

“C’mon, Mikasa, this is boring enough, please talk to me,” he tried again, leaning his head backwards till it hit her shoulder. It didn’t work; she didn’t even look at him this time. He groaned and pulled his head back up. Jesus, she was not gonna make this easy was she?

Granted, Mikasa was the one who was on her knees next to him the moment he fell and she was the one sat by his side in the ambulance and the one who gave up her Saturday willingly to keep him company in the ER when Armin had to go to work and when no none of his other friends there really showed any interest in spending their day in the hospital with him. So yeah, she was pissed at him, but she was still there with him.

“Do you think if I told them my dad was a doctor here they’d they me in?” Eren asked, glancing over to see if she was gonna speak to him now.

She still didn’t look over at him. “Maybe if he wasn’t out of the country this weekend but I doubt getting a page that his son is in the ER wouldn’t make any of this process any easier on you.”

Well, she had a point; his dad would probably give him some lecture about not being reckless and still make him wait in the ER to teach him a lesson. “At least I got you to talk to me.”

Mikasa looked over at him and if looks could kill, he would be long gone. “Is this a joke to you, Eren?”

He felt the familiar twitch of annoyance flicker in his body. “Obviously not,” he said gesturing down to his leg. “It’s not like I’m having a grand ol’ time myself sitting in the ER on the weekend with a possibly broken leg  and my best friend not talking to me but just scolding me instead. Excuse me for trying to make the best of it.”

“The best of it,” she scoffed. “You jumped your bike off a five foot ledge. You’re lucky it’s only your leg that’s broken and not anything else and after I told you not to do it, but no, you never listen to me.”

“Maybe I’d listen to you if you’d stop treating me like I was your baby brother and not your friend you’ve known for God knows how long anymore. I can take care of myself,I don’t need you breathing down my neck all the fucking time!”

“Well, obviously you can’t because here we are waiting to see if you get to wear a cast for the next six weeks.”

God, she was infuriating sometimes; Eren couldn’t even keep the anger from rising up. “Oh, so that’s what we’re gonna play. Mikasa was right and Eren was wrong. The story of my fucking life.”

“Maybe if you’d listen to me for once then you-”

“Then I’d what, Mikasa? Be so thankful to you for making sure I lived in a bubble and never got to do anything fun. Ever.”

“No, Eren, that’s not what-”

“Eren Jaeger?” The sudden and unfamiliar voice made Eren jump. He looked up to see a nurse with a file in her hand looking out into the waiting room.

“Right here!” Eren waved his arm to make sure they didn’t by pass him; that was all he needed was to wait here longer.

The nurse had a wheelchair already and brought it right over to him. He pushed himself up, shifting his body forward as best he could. The nurse had a firm hand on the wheelchair so all he had to do was just slid himself from one chair to the other. He saw Mikasa walk around to the other side of the chair reaching out to help him but he shot her a look.

“I’m fine.” It might’ve come out harsher than he intended and he knew he shouldn’t fight with her when really he was at fault, but he was already too irritated to care. He slid over with ease, until he hit his bad leg on the wheelchair when he sat down. Eren tried to mask the pain that shot through his body but he knew Mikasa, who was now walking beside the nurse as she pushed him, saw right through it. She furrowed her brow in concern but kept her words to herself if she had any.                

He tried to see if he recognized any of the doctors or nurses hurrying all around them down the halls but his dad worked in a completely different department of the hospital, and Eren tried to not frequent the ER if he could avoid it. The nurse turned him into a usual hospital room with the examination table, a few chairs, sink, counter, cabinets, health posters, the usual works.

“Can you get up there yourself?” the nurse asked as she stopped the wheelchair parallel to the table.

“Yeah, I got it.” Eren wasn’t sure he had it though looking at the examination table that was a quite bit higher than the wheelchair. He stood up from the wheel chair, balancing on the leg that wasn’t bound in a cast before turning to hop up onto the table. He tried to swing both his legs up onto the crinkly paper that covered the cushions which didn’t even pretend to be comfortable, but his bound up leg didn’t move quite like he wanted it to. He braced himself for it to hit the side of the table but Mikasa’s hands caught his leg first bringing it carefully up on the table for him.

“Thanks,” he muttered, trying to not look at her directly as to not feel guilty for yelling at her earlier. It’s not like he didn’t have a reason to be mad, she knew how much he hated her babying him like that; even still, he didn’t like to be the one to upset her when he knew she was just worried about him.

“I see you fell when you were riding your bike is that correct?” the nurse asked, flipping through her clipboard.

“Ah, yeah, that’s correct.” Out of the corner of his eye he could see Mikasa sit down on the chair closest to the table while he pushed himself back to be able to lean up against the hard pillow of the table.

The nurse placed her clipboard with his file down and moved over to the examination table to start what Eren knew was the preliminary routine. He did what she asked of him as she checked his breathing, his heart rate, his blood pressure, made sure his other limps weren’t hurt, checked for internal damage, basically just poked and prodded him until she was satisfied.

“The doctor will want to look at it and probably get x-rays to see if it’s broken or not,” the nurse said, picking back up Eren’s file as she headed to the door. “It’s probably going to be a long wait though so I suggest you make yourself comfortable. I’ll be back to prep you for x-rays when the doctor’s done with you.”

Great. It wasn’t like he didn’t expect that; his dad was a doctor, Eren was very aware of how long they took for everything, and then add on x-ray prep, x-ray done, x-ray results, and packaging up his leg? He would be lucky if the sun was still up when he left this place. He rolled his head back against the wall before he looked over to Mikasa. She was sitting in the chair, reading, or pretending to read, one of the posters on the wall.

“You can leave, you know. No reason for both of us to be stuck here all day,” Eren said though the thought of sitting here all day and alone was already enough to bore him to death.

Mikasa was leaning against the armrest of the chair, her chin propped up on her hand. “I’m not gonna make you stay here alone. You’d be bored out of your mind. Its fine, Eren.”

At least he knew she knew him well enough. “Yeah, so you can scold me more. Right.” It wasn’t that Eren didn’t want her here; he’d really rather have her here than most anyone else but it didn’t change the fact he was still mad at her attitude.

She sighed, her hand falling back into her lap. “I don’t want to scold you. I’m not your mother.”

“Well, stop acting like it then.” He crossed his arms against his chest looking over to her. “Yeah, I might not have thought the jump through but, Jesus, you’ve been pissy with me since it happened. I don’t need it from you and my mom when she gets home.”

Mikasa bit at her bottom lip as she watched him; it was a trait Eren knew she had when she wanted to say something but was holding back for some reason.

“C’mon, just be out with it. If you’re staying, we’re gonna be stuck here for a long time.” It was pretty clear she didn’t want to say what was on her mind with the way her eyes had dropped to the floor and normally Eren would have just brushed it off but he was not getting stuck here with her in a mood.

She looked back up to him but she didn’t look angry anymore, just sad. “Do you know how hard it is to watch you constantly not think about things that end up hurting you? To watch you fall and see you in pain? I was worried about you. So worried that it made me mad you always do this to yourself, and then I have to just sit and watch you hurt yourself.”

Eren felt guilt in the pit of his stomach; he hated seeing her upset and hated it even more so when it was his fault. He never really thought about how his actions made her feel, he just figured she got annoyed for doing things when she wouldn’t do them, but that clearly wasn’t the case. She was worried about him to the point of making her upset; he really should know her better at this point.

He held an arm out gesturing for her to come over to him. Mikasa looked up, her forehead furrowed as she looked at him in confusion. “Just c’mere,” Eren said, gesturing to her again.

She stood up to her feet and sat on the edge of the table next to him, the paper crinkling under her weight. He pushed himself up off the back cushion to sit up next to her; he wasn’t sure what to do now she was here though. Sure he had known her for years now, but Eren wasn’t always good with words, especially when it was his own stupidity that got them here in the first place. He instead put his arms around her waist and pulled her into him.

He could hear her breath hitch in her throat as he rested his head on her shoulder. He wanted to tell her he was sorry for making her worry and then getting her even more upset by yelling at her but apologizing was another thing that didn’t come naturally to him either. Judging by the way she leaned her head against his, she was sorry too.

Eren supposed that was the nice thing about having someone so close to you; sometimes you didn’t need many words.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket causing her to reach in and pull out the phone. “It’s Armin,” she said, pressing the screen so the text message would pop up. “‘Hey, I just wanted to see how things were going. Granted with Eren it’s probably difficult no matter what. Let me know’,” Mikasa read aloud.

Eren snorted as he read over her shoulder. “Some friend he is.”

Mikasa looked over at him, probably to say something like well Armin was right but she stopped short, her face close to his. He felt her warm breath on his lips, her face much closer than expected when he turned his head. Her dark eyes were wide as she stared at him, her mouth opening liked she was gonna say something but she closed it again. Eren became very aware of his arms still around her warm body, the top of her red scarf brushing against his chin.

There were very few people in the world who put up with Eren like Mikasa did; Armin probably, and Eren’s parents. She was always the one who fought at his side, the one to make ambulance rides, the one to talk sense into him when he didn’t want to hear it, the first one there for him every time. He hated the way she babied him, because he didn’t want to be her little brother; he just wanted to be on the same level. He couldn’t imagine his life without her though.

He wasn’t sure what it was, or what made him do it, but the next thing Eren knew his head was tilted down until he pressed his lips against hers. He felt her gasp against him, but quickly melted right into him.

The door creaked open causing Mikasa to jump right off the table, leaving Eren breathless still sitting. He snapped his head to see who walked in the room.

“I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?” the doctor said with a sly smile. She was dressed in scrubs and a long white jacket, her brown hair pulled up in a ponytail, brown eyes looking out behind her glasses.

“Ah, no?” Eren said, his heart still pounding in his chest. He had no idea what happened there but he did know he wasn’t a big fan of the doctor’s timing. He glanced over to Mikasa who had taken her seat again and was looking at anywhere but him, her cheeks red.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” the doctor said, closing the door behind her. “I’m Dr. Zoe, I see you took quite a fall there.”

“Yeah,” Eren answered looking away from Mikasa. “Just being stupid.”

Dr. Hanji leaned over his leg, scribbling some notes on her clipboard. “Well, we’ll need an x-ray for sure but judging by the bruising and swelling, I think I can tell what’s going to come from this. Ready for a long afternoon?”

Eren glanced over at Mikasa, who was just barely looking at him. He felt a smile tug at his lips as he remembered the way her mouth felt against his. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was smiling now of if something triggered in her too, but despite her still red cheeks, he saw the smile on her lips too.

“Yeah,” Eren clapped his hands together looking back at the doctor before a glance back to Mikasa. “Let’s see where this day goes.”


	45. Soul Mate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 8th – Soul Mate
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Current arc; After they save Eren (God help me if they ever do)  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 2309

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do love writing from Armin’s perspective; I always feel like he’d see anything and everything that others, including Eren and Mikasa, are blind to and I always see him as such a driving force pushing those two together that of course he’d see them as soul mates. I wrote a lot from his mind so I hope it comes across okay because I don’t exactly think like him myself but I really enjoyed writing this one because I have so much love for Armin Arlert. 
> 
> Tomorrow through Sunday I'm going to be in Florida so I'm gonna try my best to bring my laptop to update in the mornings or whenever I can (My mom's used to me writing fanfiction she'll just be like wow Lyssa you haven't changed at all lmao). If you follow (or know it, its the same username as it is here ^^) my tumblr though, the posts are all queued so they'll update there on time if they don't show up here!

Armin couldn’t remember the last time he had actually sat down to read a book; not that he had the luxury of bringing books along as they fought. He was beyond thrilled when he found a room in the house they were staying in that had one book still sitting on the table. Once he finished the cleaning the room and Levi let them do what they wanted while he and Hanji congregated in another room, Armin went back to grab the book and sit down in the lone armchair in the room. He cracked open the old book, dust flying around him, and start to read over the first page.

It was some kind of fiction book from what Armin could tell; he generally preferred nonfiction where he’d learn something but this was better than nothing. It was a romance it looked, as Armin flipped through the opening chapter, a girl looking for her soul mate whom she knew without a doubt had to be out there waiting for her.

Armin chuckled as he read. He could imagine why this book would be appealing to someone; everyone had a desire that there was someone out there made just for them, it was a common human emotion. Granted, he figured it might be a little less common these days when people were too busy focused on surviving than finding their true love; even more so to the people in the military who were tasked with the job of saving humanity any way they could.

He looked up from the book, his eyes staring off into the room. Was that normal? To put aside perfectly normal feelings to bear the weight of the world? He supposed not to most to, but to them it was all they ever knew being in the military since they were twelve years old.

Armin shook his head, trying to go back to read his book. He didn’t need to be reminded of all the things himself and his friends had missed out on by joining the military and then joining the Scouting Legion. He tried to go through, reading about the girl who set out on an adventure unbeknownst to her family to find the man she knew who was out there for her, but one word just kept jumping out at him every time the female protagonist spoke it.

“Soul mate,” he read aloud, his voice echoing against the empty walls. It was a strange concept, that there was one person out there in the world just made for another person and Armin wasn’t even sure if he bought it. Within their walls there was a strict population control, at least where he was from most families weren’t even allowed to have more than once child; how could there be someone for everyone when everyone wasn’t even allowed to live?

Armin tried to shrug it off closing the book in his lap to avoid seeing the word anymore, but it wouldn’t leave his mind. It was a very romantic image, of course, people holding on to the desperate hope there was love out there just for them but that’s all it was, an image. He never really was romantically driven, never quite feeling that drive for anyone he met in his admittedly short life as of yet. He did have more important things on his mind; in the years where love and attraction should be flourishing, he was trying not to get killed by not only titans but humans now too.

It never bothered him. After all this was the choice he made, he gave up both his childhood, teenage years, and beyond for this world, and it wasn’t something he regretted  so he wasn’t sure why the idea of a soul mate refused to leave his mind. Maybe it was because it was a happy thought, an escape from the reality of this dark world he was in. It wasn’t like he thought he had a soul mate, not in the romantic regard at least; he had his friends, his friends he would always be with but not some woman or man waiting for him out there, no, that wasn’t for him. Maybe that’s because soul mates weren’t for everyone, maybe there were a select few people who were blessed to have their other half so to speak in this world and in many other worlds. He figured the term soul mate didn’t mean just for one world, “soul” makes it bonded for this world and all the others their souls would find throughout the years; a soul mate being people who find each other in every world they live.

It was comforting knowing that a person would always be with you through all lifetimes but Armin still wasn’t sure how he felt about it. The whole concept of it was left up too much to thought, to dreams, to hope and was not really set in logic at all, and that put him off to the idea. He did know someone who would probably believe it though, Eren being the dreamer to Armin’s intelligence.

Armin nearly dropped the book on the floor; he had to scramble to snatch it back up before the sound alerted anyone he was in here.

Of course, no wonder it was lingering on his mind so much. Armin always had a prime example right in front of him. If Eren and Mikasa weren’t soul mates than soul mates was a thing that didn’t exist in this world. Armin should’ve known the moment he met Mikasa when they were nine. Eren wasn’t exactly the easiest person to get along with, Armin was pretty sure he really was the only friend Eren ever had so when Eren brought over Mikasa, this shy little girl, Armin nearly fell over in shock. Eren never told Armin exactly what had happened for Mikasa to come live with the Jaegers, but if was enough for Eren and Mikasa to form a bond Armin couldn’t even begin to touch. There was something else there from the moment Armin saw them together, and it was something that never went away.

Armin was never upset or jealous over the type of bond they had; they never left Armin out or made him feel unloved so it never bothered him. He also knew it was something they both needed in their lives, Mikasa especially. Eren could think all he wanted that Mikasa was so much better than him, that she always babied him, that she always saved him but Mikasa was the one that needed Eren; more than Armin ever thought Eren could know.

Armin watched them grow up, watched them join the military, and watched them fight constantly. It was borderline painful just because only Armin seemed to be the one who understood just how much they were misunderstanding each other. Mikasa wanted to keep Eren safe, keep him close with her and she did that by trying to protect him the only ways she knew how. Eren took that as she didn’t think he was good enough, that he needed to be babied and he resented her for it because Armin knew all Eren wanted to do was to protect her, to keep her safe instead of the other way around.

It was a vicious circle they lived in because neither of them would talk about it. Even through that, even through all the pain he knew Eren caused Mikasa, when they though he was dead, Armin knew it would be Mikasa who would take it the hardest because she lost the person she loved most in the world and Armin had to be the one to tell her. Even through all the frustration and inadequacy Eren felt towards Mikasa, no one would ever be able to convince Armin that it wasn’t completely intentional Eren was there in is titan form to make sure nothing would happen to her in that moment.

They were both fiercely protective of each other, though Mikasa showed it more often than Eren, that didn’t mean he didn’t feel it as well. Anyone would’ve been able to tell at the trial, the guilt in eyes when he realized he was the one to hurt Mikasa, the way he lashed out at anyone who tried to call her a monster, who tried to take her away to give her the same fate as him. Armin had to grab a hold of Mikasa just to make sure she didn’t go after Levi when he started to hit Eren; something Armin knew he was doing for his sake because Mikasa could’ve easily tossed him away.

That was also the place Armin learned more of the details of what happened that night with them when they met. It didn’t change how he felt about either of them; in all honestly it just shed more light on their relationship. While the court didn’t specify, Armin knew that had to be the night they met, meaning they, at age nine, had killed grown men to protect one another. No wonder they were always so close; it’s a pretty tight forming bond at an early age but now Armin had to wonder if that was the way it was always meant to be, if that bond had been there long before that night.

It was still there, always following them around; wherever Eren went, Mikasa followed. Armin couldn’t remember a time he had seen her so broken than on that wall after Eren got kidnapped. Not only had Armin been worried about Eren, but he was also heartbroken for Mikasa to see her like that.

Armin noticed a change in them, even before the plan to let Historia and Eren get “captured” came into play leaving Eren missing for days and days. There wasn’t that same tension that was normally between them, that constant misunderstanding every time one of them opened their mouth. Neither of them talked to Armin about it, and he knew better than to ask but he had a good idea of when it happened. It was seeing Eren carry Mikasa away on his horse, the way he hunched over her apologizing when she was hurt, the way Eren didn’t even flinch when Jean tried to bait him about Jean being the one to save Mikasa; it was very clear something happened out in the fields to make even Eren not get snippy when Mikasa tried to help him. In fact, it was Eren who was being much more openly protective of her.

It was nice to see, making Armin breathe a sigh of relief. It was never easy when those two fought and it seemed like they finally worked something out to the point where Mikasa wasn’t freaking out all the time that Eren was missing, at least not the way she used to. Armin still saw the sadness in her eyes, the loneness without him that she was worried when they had no idea where Eren was; she was just better at hiding it from everyone else. Armin wondered if Eren would react much better if their tables were ever turned. He snorted at the thought; Eren would probably take it much worse than Mikasa did.

The door creaked open, nearly giving Armin a heart attack and jolting him out of his thoughts.

“There you are,” Sasha breathed, her face poking through the doorway. “We’ve been looking for you. Though I suppose it’s a lot easier to disappear in a place this big. What were you doing?”

Armin held up the book that was still in his lap. “Reading for once.”

“Oh,” Sasha seemed like she was trying to be interested but didn’t really care much for reading like her did. “What’s it about?”

Armin stood up to his feet, leaving the book on the chair. “Soul mates.” He walked over to the door and held it open as he followed her out into the hallway.

“I didn’t know you liked mushy stuff like that.” Sasha elbowed him in the ribs with a grin on her face.

“Everyone likes mushy stuff sometimes,” he shrugged. “Is dinner ready?”

Sasha nodded. “I was tasked to get you, Mikasa, and Eren and Connie had to get Historia, Levi, and Hanji.”

“Where’s Eren and Mikasa then?”

Sasha looked sheepishly away as they walked down the hall towards the stairs. “Well, I found them, but I didn’t really have the heart to wake them up.” She nodded towards a door not too far from where they were. “Maybe you can, you’ve known them longer.”

Armin rolled his eyes but he slowly opened the door Sasha had been referring to. He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised; it only been about a day since they rescued Eren off that stone alter and brought him and Historia back to safety, nearly losing all their lives in the process. It only was about a day since Mikasa learned she had more family, and they weren’t particularly nice if Levi’s “father” was anything to go on. So really it shouldn’t have surprised him to see Eren laying on his side with one arm draped over Mikasa’s waist, her body curled up against his. Her head was pressed to his chest, with his chin resting against the top of her head; she had one hand over his waist, up against his back and the other on his chest. Both were sound asleep, and peacefully for once judging by the looks on their faces.

Armin would never have the heart to wake them either.

“I think that’s what they’re,” Sasha whispered as she looked in next to Armin.

He glanced over at her. “They are what?”

“Soul mates.”

He felt a smile pulling at his lips; well, at least he wasn’t the only one who saw it. “Yeah, I think so too.”


	46. Crossover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 9th - Crossover
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Harry Potter AU; Set in the beginning of their sixth year  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 5187

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this before the prompts were released; later in the same day Ashley told me what the prompts were so when I saw “crossover” I was like welp might as well just use this dumb thing I wrote up for the first of September. I told her that to which she told me the original prompt was supposed to be more Harry Potter centric but decided to make it more generic since someone would still write a Harry Potter AU. Which happened to be me.
> 
> I purposely avoided as many Harry Potter terms as I could to still keep it less “hey look at me I’m a crossover” but yes I enjoyed picking out houses for everyone and I’m sure you’ll be able to guess whose where :3

 “I think we’re getting a little big for this,” Armin said as he held up the worn cloak in front of him.

Eren yanked it from his hands, walking down the spiraling staircase of their house tower and draped it over his arm. “But it still works.”

Armin snorted. “As long as no one looks at our feet.”

Eren chose not to respond to that. His feet hit the main landing that led into the common room; he looked in seeing the never ending fire in the fireplace illuminating the otherwise dark room. No one was up, or up in the room at least which was good for them. All he needed was little tattletale first years giving them a hard time the first day back at school. “All clear,” Eren said to Armin before looking up towards the staircase opposite of the one they had come down. Eren wanted to just go up and get her but he had hit his head one too many times on the enchanted stairs as they turned into a slide under his feet to try.

“Mikasa,” he called, but not so loud as to alert every other female in his house that he was there; though he was pretty sure most all of them were used to it.

“I’m here, don’t be impatient,” she said, her slender form walking down the stairs. Like them she was dressed in her pjs with a bag over her shoulders, her bare feet padding against the wooden steps. She stopped in front of them, her arms crossed but a smile pulling at her lips. “Are we going to fit?”

“You sound like Armin,” Eren said stepping down into the common room. “Don’t under estimate the power of the cloak.”

“Unless because of the shortness of the cloak,” Armin followed him with Mikasa. “Professor Ackerman catches us and we get detentions before the school year even technically starts. We learned about six years ago that just because Mikasa is related to him means absolutely nothing for us. In fact it makes it worse, well, for you at least.”

Eren turned around when he reached the house exit. “C’mon, when’ve we gotten caught?”

Both Armin and Mikasa opened their mouths to speak.

“I _mean_ , during our first night ritual.” He didn’t appreciate the little faith but at the same time he understood. He couldn’t even count on his fingers the amount of times he had detentions in his six years at school.  “Are we ready, or are you just going to harass me until everyone wakes up?”

“Lead the way,” Mikasa said.

Eren climbed through the hole in the wall as the large painting that served as their entrance way swung open. The coast looked clear but he wasn’t risking it; the moment Armin and Mikasa stepped out he swung his cloak over them. They had to bunch together and hunch over to get the cloak to cover them but it worked.

“Thank you, Dad,” Eren whispered with a grin.

Armin reached into the bag slung over his shoulder and pulled out a piece of parchment as well. “Another thank you to Dr. Jaeger; though I don’t think sneaking out was quite what he had in mind when he passed these down to you.”

Eren chose to ignore that as he pulled out his wand from his pocket; he mumbled the right words and the map came to life in his hands. There were a few people out on patrol, House Head Professor Ackerman being one of them, not that he never slept or anything to begin with. There were also a few prefects wandering about and House Head Professor Zoe as well, again another professor who never seemed to sleep. At least the other House Heads, Professor Ral and Professor Smith, weren’t always lurking around at night. Though he wouldn’t particularly want to get caught by Professor Smith; he could almost be as bad as Levi.

Eren started to lead the familiar way through the castle with Armin and Mikasa shuffling with him to keep the cloak over all their bodies; this really was a lot easier when they were first years. They had to get down the vast staircase three floors, past the charms classroom and past the restrooms on that floor, then it was far down an empty hallway that was filled with various types of study rooms but those were always monitored. It was a left at the end of the hallway and an old wooden door stood untouched all summer. Eren took a quick look at the map once more before pulling off the cloak from them.

“Thank God,” Armin said, stretching his arms over his head.

Mikasa reached forward to open the door, ushering them all inside. The room was dark but it hadn’t changed since the last time Eren saw it. Mikasa reached for the lantern off a nearby table as she pulled her wand out of her bag. Soon the whole room was illuminated from the small glass lantern while Armin spoke a silence charm over the door. Eren plopped down on the tattered old couch, tossing the cloak on the small table in front of him, and laying the map out to keep an eye on just who was on the floor with them. Mikasa placed the lantern next to the map before taking a seat next to Eren while Armin sat down on the nearby armchair.

“At least no matter how much we outgrow the cloak, this place never changes,” Eren said, reaching an arm around Mikasa to tug her closer to him.

“That’s because we’re the only ones who know about it,” Armin snorted. He tossed his legs over one of the armrests while he placed his head against the chair.

“As it should be,” Eren said. “I double checked no one followed us out, not that Jean doesn’t sleep like the dead to begin with.”

“Sasha wouldn’t wake up unless you placed bacon in front of her face so I didn’t worry about her either,” Mikasa said.

Silence settled over them as the light flickered in the lantern sending shadows moving all around them. It was strange to remember the first time they found this room, lost little first years too nervous to ask for help. It turned into a refuge and then a tradition.

“Sixth year,” Armin let out a low whistle. “One more year to go after this. Can you believe it?”

“What I can’t believe is how hard our classes are gonna be this year,” Eren groaned as he reached down to the ground to pick up a pillow and put it on the couch before he leaned over to place his head on the pillow, laying across the couch. “All advanced classes? Give me a break already.” He pushed his legs under Mikasa’s as he stretched out.

“That’s what happens when you’re two years away from graduation,” Mikasa said in that knowing tone that used to infuriate him. “Better get to studying and not copying off Armin.”

Where he once might’ve snapped at her or gotten grumpy with her, she was borderline unbearable in their early years here with that know it all voice, he instead reached up to grab her around her waist and pulled her down against him. “Yeah? You gonna let me copy off of you instead?” She was already laughing before Eren started to wiggle his fingers against her sides.

Armin rolled his eyes but Eren still saw the smile on his face. “I liked you two better when you fought all the time.” He pulled a pillow off the armchair he was sitting on and tossed it over at them but Mikasa reached up to bat it away before it hit them.

“When do your classes start tomorrow, Armin?” Mikasa yawned, laying her head down on Eren’s chest while his hands came to rest on the small of her back.

“Too early,” Armin answered. “And considering it’s probably around 2am right now, I have class in about five hours.”

“Want to go back?” Mikasa asked.

Armin shook his head. “And miss this? No way.” He grabbed his bag up off the ground and pulled out a bottle. While it looked like something kids their age shouldn’t be in possession of, Eren knew it wasn’t that fun; it was essentially sparkling cider. Armin grabbed three plastic glasses from his bag too as he sat up in his chair to place them on the table. Eren reached down to Mikasa’s bag pulling out the bag of small cakes he knew was in there. He pushed both himself and her up on the couch, adjusting so his back was against the cushions and Mikasa was seated between his legs, her back to his chest.

“It’s officially the start of the year now,” he said, watching Armin pour each cup full.

Mikasa opened the bag Eren had pulled out, holding onto two little cakes before placing the last one on the table for Armin. She passed a cake to Eren when Armin reached out to hand Mikasa and Eren their glasses.

“To another year,” Armin said, leaning in to tap his cup against the others.

“To passing classes,” Mikasa said.

“To _not_ getting detentions,” Eren snorted placing the cup to his lips and drinking down the sweet but bitter fizzy drink. He popped the cake in his mouth when it probably should have at least taken a few bites but it was 2am he didn’t have the patience to sit and munch on the cake. He wasn’t sure when exactly they decided to do this at the beginning of each year but it had turned into something they just did. While they didn’t need the room to take refuge from the upper years anymore like they used to, they still liked to start their year here to remind them of how far they had come and as a good excuse to eat sweets late at night.

Eren placed his glass back on the table when he was finished, watching Armin drink down his and Mikasa still working on her cake. Eren wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling him back against her as his chin rested on her shoulder. He heard her breath hitch in her throat as she did; sure they had spent their entire fifth year fighting over everything imaginable but spent their entire summer actually together so Eren figured it was a fine trade off.

“We should head back soon,” Mikasa said, carefully licking the left over glaze off her fingers. She leaned her head back against Eren’s. “Before someone notices we’re gone.”

“She’s probably right,” Armin yawned as he pushed himself to his feet. “That’s all we need detention on our first night back.”

“I dunno,” Eren said. “I think we’ve got a little bit longer.”

Mikasa turned her head to look at him. “I think you’re making excuses to avoid going to bed and start classes tomorrow.”

“Well, yeah.  Not everyone enjoys listening to professors drone on all day like you two do.” A smile was pulling at his lips as he tilted his head down towards hers. “Besides, I don’t mind it here, you know.”

She opened her mouth but Eren didn’t give her a chance, he pressed his lips against hers not quite catching her off guard but enough to feel her small gasp against him. Eren could hear Armin groan again but he wasn’t quite concerned with him at the moment; all he could focus on was Mikasa’s soft lips moving with his. His hands gripped onto her waist wondering how it took him so long to see what was always right in front of him. Well, better late than never.

 “Enjoying your time with my sister, Jaeger?”

The voice was certainly enough to make Eren nearly jump off the couch; if Mikasa wasn’t sitting in front of him he probably would’ve; his blood went cold and his heart nearly stopped.

Standing at the door dressed in his long robes with green trim stood Professor Ackerman, and with those crossed arms and that scowl he looked about as happy to see them as they were to see him. Even Mikasa who lived with her much older brother went stiff.

“We were just-” Eren tried but Levi was not having it.

“Yes, just out of your beds far past curfew in a room you should not be wandering in and unsupervised. Out. Now.” He pulled out his wand and sent out the lantern leaving them in the dark save for the light of his wand.

Mikasa grabbed the cloak and map off the table in one swift movement into her bag that even Eren who was standing next to her almost missed. Armin was the first one out with Eren and Mikasa trailing behind.

Levi shut the door as he left the room as well. “Move.”

Eren felt like he was a first year again getting berated by his teachers…well, nothing really had changed save for he wasn’t a first year anymore and the teacher wasn’t just his best friend’s big brother but his girlfriend’s big brother who didn’t know that fact until about two minutes ago.

“I never understood why you got caught up with these two, Arlert,” Levi said, herding them out to the main staircase. “You at least have more brains then them.”

“Brains don’t mean anything if you don’t have people you can trust, Sir,” Armin said a bit meekly even though he was used to getting in trouble with Eren. Armin along with Mikasa rarely ever deserved the punishment given, since it was always Eren’s idea or fault, but they still always took it with him.

“Hey, Levi! See you caught yourself some kiddies!” Eren could see Professor Zoe making her way down the hallway like it wasn’t 2am in the morning but just a regular afternoon; her black and blue robes looking as tattered and well, burnt, as normal. “Oh,” she said, her tone disappointed as she lifted the goggles off her eyes and onto her head to see better. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that it’s you three.”

“Jaeger, Ackerman, Arlert,” Levi grunted, crossing his arms in front of them. “All three of you are going to meet me at 6am in the main hall. Oh yes, I’m very aware that’s only in about three hours. You’ll be helping me clean up some of the older classrooms. Without magic.”

Eren couldn’t hold back a groan; there wasn’t a worse detention than having to clean with Levi, he was the worst damn clean freak Eren had ever met.

“Arlert and Ackerman, you can leave when Arlert has class in the morning. Jaeger you’re staying until you have class.”

“But that’s not until noon.”

Levi gave him an expression which distinctly said “that’s the point”.

“Why do I have to stay and they get to leave?” Eren grumbled, crossing his own arms against his chest. He wasn’t mad they got off the hook some, Merlin knows they deserved that after everything he got them in trouble for but he did want to know why he was getting punished more.

“Because it’s going to take me longer to get the image of your bratty face kissing my sister out of my head that’s why.”

Eren heard Professor Zoe snorting with laughter behind them.

“I don’t want to hear it from you, Four Eyes. I’m taking these brats back to their House, watch the halls for me.”

Professor Zoe mock saluted him before turning back the way she came.

“Move,” Levi said pointing towards the staircase.

“Levi,” Mikasa started her tone warning as she stood firm in her spot, her gaze narrowed at him.

“Oh no, you don’t get any right to tell me anything until you get better taste in men. Here I had hoped that ridiculous crush you had on Jaeger for all these years would never amount to anything. He seems to have more sense than I realized. Walk before I make it two days of six am cleaning.”

Mikasa didn’t look like she wanted to back down but her cheeks started to heat up before she turned and followed in suit with Armin and Eren back towards the seventh floor of the castle. It really wasn’t anything different, whether they were getting in trouble with Levi at school or at Mikasa’s house, and it generally ended in cleaning. As long as he didn’t tell Professor Smith or Pixis about this it would be bearable. Getting lectured by the head of his house was like getting lectured by his father or something, both guilt inducing and boring. Pixis wasn’t so bad but God knows Eren had been brought to the headmaster’s office too many times in his going on sixth year here.

“Alright, wake up,” Levi snapped at the sound asleep painting. “Let the brats back in.”

The woman in the painting didn’t seem to berate them as well when she was jolted awake but if looks could kill. She swung open revealing the door to the common room. Eren moved to jump in and get away from the professor; he’d see him enough in just a few hours but Levi cleared his throat to get their attention again.

“In addition to cleaning, all three of you will deduct 10 points from your house starting you off with -30 points. I expect you on time in the morning.” With that, he was gone.

Eren couldn’t help but groan as he practically fell into the common room, Mikasa and Armin following behind. He was gonna hear from his house mates in the morning and probably from the others in his year in different houses too; who else would’ve been stupid enough to get points deducted on the first day of school. He felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced behind him to see Armin standing between both Eren and Mikasa.

He didn’t look upset in the least, neither did Mikasa for that matter. “Well, I at least think it was worth it. Happy sixth year.”

Eren snorted but a smile was pulling at his lips. Yeah, it was worth it.

It was still worth it even when he was on his hands and knees scrubbing Merlin knows what off the floor of what once looked like a potions classroom. He had the sleeves of his gray sweater and white button up rolled up above his elbows, his burgundy and gold tie tucked in the sweater so it wouldn’t fall into the now murky water on the floor and his black robes long abandoned. The knees of his black slacks were already wet from the floor but as long as he could get away from this without being completely soaked he supposed he’d be okay with it.

For what seemed like the fiftieth time that minute, Eren pressed the soaked and soapy rag into the stain on the stone floor. Of course once Armin and Mikasa left, though Levi had to practically kick them out, Eren would get shoved in the basement, cleaning a room that hadn’t been touched since before he was born; maybe since his mom and dad were in school here.

With a groan he dropped the rag and sat back on his heels. Levi was insane if he thought Eren was cleaning this whole room alone before noon. It already felt like hours since he was left alone and they only left at eight. Eren wasn’t regretting the action that got him here, but he sure as well regretted getting caught. How did Levi even find them there? He had like some kind of sixth sense or something.

“Did you seriously lose us 30 points already, Jaeger?”

Eren turned his head to see Jean practically fuming in the doorway; yeah, he expected that. “Did you really walk all the way down here to harass me?”

“That is completely beyond the point! What the hell did you do!?”

“Give him a break,” Connie said, who popped up behind Jean with Sasha by his side. “I heard Professor Ackerman busted them, there was no way to get outta that.”

“Says you,” Sasha said though she didn’t look too mad when she reached over to playfully pull on Connie’s black and yellow tie. “Even your house is ahead now.”

Jean whipped his head around. “Busted them?”

“Yeah.” Connie was trying to slap Sasha’s grip off him. “That’s what Bertholdt told me and Marco when we were going back to our common room after breakfast. It was Eren, Armin, and Mikasa, ten for each. Why do you look so surprised, Jean? It’s not like it’s uncommon.” He looked over at Eren. “No offence.”

“None taken,” Eren shrugged.

“Who told Bertholdt that?” Jean said, still not looking very pleased; not that he ever did.

“Reiner did.”

“How the hell did Reiner know that, he’s not in either of our Houses.”

“Ymir told him this morning when they left their common room for breakfast.”

“Ymir found out from Historia of course,” Sasha added.

Jean looked like he had no idea how to follow this story anymore and Eren couldn’t really blame him; he didn’t even know news traveled this fast between their year. Inter-House gossip went fast he supposed.

“And how did Historia find out?” Jean asked, crossing his arms against his chest.

“Professor Zoe maybe,” Eren said. “She’s Historia’s House Head, and she was there when we…you know.” It was embarrassing enough; he didn’t feel like going through it again.

Sasha shook her head, though she looked like she was trying not to laugh. “No, Annie told her. They’re in the same house after all and Armin told her when they had class together this morning.”

Armin. The root of the gossip. Eren just rolled his eyes; it wasn’t like it wasn’t gonna get around when everyone woke up and saw negative 30 points right off the bat.

“Whatever,” Jean said turning on Eren again. “Just what the hell did you drag those two into, Jaeger?”

“And why do I have to drag them into anything. Last I knew, my two best friends were very willing to go out after curfew because, yes, that was what we got caught doing.”

“Then where are they?” Connie asked. It was an innocent question, wondering why Eren was the only one punished but the explanation wasn’t so innocent.

“They were here cleaning earlier, but they only had to stay for a few hours,” Eren shrugged, hoping that would be the end of it.

“Then what did you do to get extra punishment?” Jean was smirking, that dumbass smug look on his face.

Eren just wanted to tell him just why Levi gave him that extra punishment to wipe that dumb look off but he knew Mikasa wouldn’t quite like that. Armin and now Levi and Professor Zoe were the only ones who knew and Eren knew Mikasa valued her privacy from prying eyes. “Because it was Professor Ackerman, you know how much he hates me.”

“Hate is a strong word, Jaeger.”

Eren nearly fell back down to his hands to fake like he was still cleaning but Levi was already at the door, watching Eren so he didn’t even bother.

“You just irritate every fiber of my being.”

“I suppose that’s better than hate.”

Levi turned to the other’s standing by the door, watching him with wide eyes. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be.” It wasn’t a question.

Jean, Connie, and Sasha all hurried out of Eren’s sight without another word.

“I really wish I had that power on them,” Eren said.

Levi scoffed looking around the room but he didn’t say anything to why it didn’t look spotless. He merely walked over to the old wooden desk at the front of the classroom and looked down at Eren, his robes not even brushing over the water on the ground. “How long.”

“How long what, Sir? Have I been cleaning?”

“How long have you been dating Mikasa.”

Eren thought his heart was going to stop as he stared up at his professor; this was not something he ever wanted to talk about with Levi of all people. “I don’t really think this is an appropriate student/teacher discussion.”

“I’ve known you since you still wet the bed, kid. I suggest you tell me.”

Eren knew he wasn’t getting out of this, not that he could get out of anything with Levi ever for that matter. “I dunno, the beginning of the summer I guess.”

Levi arched an eyebrow. “Despite the fact you made her upset countless times last school year?”

Eren sighed, dropping his hands onto his lap; he should have known this was coming. “I was frustrated. I didn’t understand why the girl I grew up with suddenly meant much more to me than just one of my best friends. Why I couldn’t even take it if she wasn’t near me, why her smile sent my stomach in my throat, or why her touch had me practically jumping out of my skin.” Eren looked up to Levi whose expression hadn’t changed at all. “Why she suddenly turned into the prettiest girl I had seen, and why other people noticing that fact made me want to punch them in the face.”

“Which you did. A few times.”

“It didn’t make her any less upset with me,” Eren said. “Nor did it make me any less angry. Armin was the one who just told me to go talk to her about it, probably because he was tired of being stuck in the middle. I did, and there you have it. I’ve been significantly less angry and she’s been significantly less upset with me.”

Levi watched him for a moment. “It doesn’t change the fact how much you’ve upset her in the past.”

“Yeah, don’t have to tell me that.” Eren reached up to run a still slightly wet hand through his hair. “I’m trying to make it up to her, to treat her right.”

Levi pushed himself off the desk and walked over to him, water splashing slightly on the ground. “I was waiting for you to get some sense in your head, kid. Don’t guilt yourself to death, anyone with eyes could see you’ve always cared about her. Just don’t let yourself forget it.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Levi turned to the desk, his back facing Eren. “Now get out of here. She’s waiting for you by the stairs.”

“Uh but it’s not…?”

“Are you seriously questioning me on this?”

“No, Sir.” Eren scrambled up to his feet and headed right to the door. He was up cleaning since six in the morning; he would take what he could get.

“Jaeger.”

He halted in his tracks, turning back to his professor who was watching him again.

“I don’t think I have to let you know what would happen if you broke my sister’s heart.”

Eren swallowed the lump in his throat. “Got the message loud and clear, Sir.” He didn’t wait to hear anymore. The rest of the stone hallway was empty, most people in class or at lunch by now, but there was one person waiting underneath one of the torches on the wall right in front of the staircase leading back up. She was right where Levi said she would be; Mikasa was wearing the same sweater and skirt he saw her in when she left, knee highs covering most of her legs. She had black robes draped over arm but considering she was wearing hers, he knew she must’ve grabbed his for him.

“The wicked stepmother let Cinderella out early,” Eren said as he walked up to her. He looked up the stairs before leaning in to press his lips to hers in a quick kiss.

“You must’ve been on good behavior then. Scrubbing those floors on your knees,” she said, gesturing to the wet marks on his pants; Eren didn’t miss he red tint to her cheeks though.

Eren snorted as she helped him slip on his robes over his uniform before she handed him his wand as well. “I don’t care what kind of food they are serving in the Great Hall, I’m starving.”

“Armin already has our seats saved,” she said turning to walk up the stone steps and back to the main floor of the castle. She glanced back at him as he followed her. “What did Levi say to you?”

“Who says he said anything?”

Mikasa gave him a look that would wipe away any doubt Mikasa and Levi were related.

“He threatened me if I ever hurt you, you know, the typical big brother talk. It was a little more intimidating cause he can flunk me on top of making sure I never walk again.”

Mikasa tried to cover her mouth as she laughed but it didn’t do her any good, except make her look cute. “I’m sorry.”

Eren waved her off as they reached the top of the steps; the front hall being much fuller than the basement hallways. “I’m used to it from him by now.” Eren reached over to grab a hold of her hand, lacing his fingers with her; their sleeves on their robes were long enough anyway. He tried to lead her to the Great Hall just to finally get some peace, quiet, and food and the open doors were right there, he was so close.  Yet when a tall body stepped in front of him blocking them both from entering the hall, he knew it was not going to happen.

“Hello Eren, Mikasa,” Professor Smith smiled, his hands behind his back as he looked down at them. “I take it you’re going to meet Armin inside? I saw him sitting alone so I assumed you two were on your way.”

“Ah, yes, Sir,” Eren said, carefully removing his hand from Mikasa’s.

“Good. I had a talk with Professor Ackerman this morning, and thought I would talk to you three too. Do you mind?” He was still smiling but Eren knew there was absolutely nothing he could say to oppose his House Head.

“Not at all.”

“Wonderful, lead the way.” He stepped aside and Eren got a good look at Armin, watching them with weary eyes; he knew what was coming too.

Eren suppressed a groan as Mikasa walked in front of him with Professor Smith following behind. Great, he cleaned all morning under Levi, and now while he was trying to eat, he’d get a guilt trip from Captain America himself.

Armin scooted over so Eren could sit down, Mikasa taking the spot on the bench next to him. Professor Smith sat directly across from them; Eren could almost see the lecture in his face. It would be a miracle if he got through this without falling asleep.

He felt a hand brush against his leg causing him to glance over at Mikasa, who was staring at Professor Smith with her usual calm expression, but Eren saw a twitch of a smile on her lips.

Okay, it was still worth it.


	47. Childhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 10th - Childhood
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern AU; They are around twenty four years old here.  
> Rating: K+ (Light Language)  
> Words: 2499

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially wrote this because I wanted something cute to write while I was at work. I wasn’t sure if I was going to post it or not cause it really was just because I wanted something cute but when I saw Childhood on the prompts for the week, this one fit perfectly. I had written baby fics in canon before but never a modern AU and what a shame because Carla would be a wonderful grandma, so I had to write one just for her.

“I don’t even think Mikasa likes this much pink,” Grisha said, arching his eyebrows at the very pink tablecloth Carla was placing over another table.

Carla was inclined to agree; Mikasa hadn’t ever been much of a girly girl for as long as Carla known her. The tablecloths, the balloons in the corner, the plastic ware on the food table it all was very… _pink_ and not very Mikasa. “Well, her parents seem to be taking this a bit more traditionally.” Carla grabbed a purple bag off the floor and placed it on the center of the table. She thought purple and green fit the girl better so Carla did try to get purple streamers, green plates, neutral colored bags, purple cups, and thank God the cake had been left up to her as well. She wanted to keep the sickly sweet layers upon layers of pink and white frosting far away from this baby shower.

“Will you grab the other bags in our room and bring them out please,” she asked her husband while she looked around the large sun room trying to see what else needed to get done.

“If I have enough arms.”

Carla turned to face him and she could see a smile on his lips. “Grisha Jaeger, this is our first grandbaby from our only son. You bet I’m going to spoil that little girl.”

He held his hands up in defense but his smile was still there telling Carla he was just teasing her. “I’m not disagreeing with you, am I?” He stepped up out of the room and back into the house.

Carla looked around the room again; cold food was on the table, warm food was broiling in the kitchen, chairs were set both inside and outside, Grisha was getting the gifts for the table, there were drinks and cups set out…there had to be something else she was forgetting.

She sat down in one of the nearby chairs. It was almost a surreal feeling that seven months had gone by since her twenty four year old son came to tell her and his father that they were having a baby. Carla, naturally, had been overjoyed; it was about time she had some grandchildren after all. It was a bit of a surprise but Eren and Mikasa were both adults with jobs and a home. They were more than capable of raising a baby. Of course, it did help Grisha owned a clinic in his name that both Eren and Mikasa worked at all through school.

Regardless, Carla had never been more excited over a baby shower than this one; her little family was finally growing.

“I just want to ask,” Grisha’s voice called as he stepped in front of the sun room doorway. “Are you sure you bought them enough?”

Carla nearly snorted in laughter at the sight of him; he had bags hanging from his arms, wrapped up boxes stacked to his face, and one large box he had abandoned on the hall. “Never,” she said as she stood up to help take some of the boxes from him.

“She’s not even born yet and she’s already the most spoiled child I’ve ever seen.” Grisha pulled the bags off his arms placing them on the table.

“Stop acting like I was the only one who bought these things, dear. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t alone at the store.”

Grisha places the last bag on the table. “Yes, but grandfathers are meant to spoil their granddaughters. It’s a law.”

Carla rolled her eyes but she couldn’t keep a smile off her face. The thought of Grisha holding the little girl was about as heart melting as the thought of Eren holding his little girl was. She opened her mouth to say something to him but the doorbell cut her off. “I’ll get it,” she said instead, reaching up to place a kiss on her husband’s cheek. “Don’t forget that one,” she said pointing to the large box in the hallway.

She walked through the kitchen that smelled like all the different scents of food cooking and into the hallway that lead to the front door.

“Hello, Carla,” Vita Ackerman smiled from behind a crockpot when Carla opened the door. “I figured you’d be fine on food but I wanted to bring something too.”

“Oh no, that’s wonderful, thank you.” Carla stepped aside to let her long time neighbor inside. She was about to ask where Tom was but Carla saw him at the car trying to get some bags and boxes out. With a very knowing smile she followed Vita into the kitchen where she placed the crockpot down.

“It smells delicious in here,” Vita breathed.

“Good, as long as you and everyone else eats it and not leave it all here for us to eat.” Carla popped her head in the sunroom. “Grisha, can you go help Tom outside?”

He looked up from his seat that he had just sat down in, but pushed himself up again. “I hope they at least know how to restrain themselves.”

Carla hit his shoulder as he walked by her.

“Wow,” Vita said, stepping into the sunroom herself. “It looks lovely. You did a beautiful job.”

“It was nothing,” Carla waved her off stepping into the room. “Anything for those kids.”

Vita sighed as she sat down in one of the seats. “They still feel like kids to me. It seems like yesterday they were catching bugs in my backyard and now they’re having kids themselves. It’s just…so fast.”

“They’re in their mid-twenties, Vita, it’s pretty normal for their age.” Carla sat down on the couch across from Vita knowing full well she had a harder time coming to terms with her only daughter getting pregnant before Vita thought Mikasa should’ve. “And you had to have expected it; they lived together since they were in college, Just be thankful it wasn’t before this like Grisha always betted on.

“I don’t appreciate being made out that I bet my teenage son was going to get his girlfriend pregnant,” Grisha said, carrying in another load of bags as Tom carried a large box behind him. “I just knew Eren and his ability to…” Grisha placed the bags down on the table before looking back around. “Never once think about consequences to his actions.”

Tom snorted putting the large box next to the other one on the floor. “I’d normally say Mikasa always had the ability to keep him in line in that regard but obviously she doesn’t always think with her head either.”

“Thomas,” Vita said.

 “She’s my daughter too,” Tom shrugged. “But it does take two to tango.”

Vita rolled her eyes but Carla could tell she was trying not to laugh. “There are plenty of details in Mikasa’s life I don’t need to think about.”

“Vita,” Grisha said. “It’s hard not to when she has a baby visibly growing in her stomach.”

“I know that,” Vita said, but Carla was already laughing. “How’d you take it so calm, Carla. You didn’t even bat an eye when they told you.”

“Because I always expected it,” she answered, crossing one leg over the other. “They were inseparable almost their whole lives and I knew what that was going to turn into.  I wasn’t surprised when I walked in on them making out in high school, or when Eren told me he was in love with her, or when they moved in together, or when they told me she was pregnant.”

“Well, I wasn’t either,” Vita said. “I just wish there was a ‘or when he asked her to marry him’ in there somewhere.”

“Eren’s not an idiot,” Grisha said, leaning up against the table. “He will, but I doubt Mikasa’d appreciate a shotgun wedding.”

“Her father might,” Tom said, though he wasn’t looking very serious about it. Carla knew he at least understood they were adults making their own choices, but she was glad for both Eren and Mikasa were older because she could imagine Tom would have a lot more to say if it was his teenage daughter they were talking about.

“I just want them to be kids still,” Vita sighed. “I know they’re adults but they’re so young, they have so much time for babies later.”

“It was her choice, Vita, no one made it for her”

“Yeah, but this is Mikasa we are talking about.” She turned to face her husband. “She’s always wanted to have a family with Eren. What else was she going to choose?”

“You act like that’s a bad thing,” Carla said, knowing very well it wasn’t what Vita meant but the words still fell from her mouth.

“I only meant there wasn’t much of a choice when she would always choose him. Don’t get me wrong, I love Eren and at this point I couldn’t see anyone else with Mikasa but him and that’s okay. He takes care of her, what more could a mother ask for? It’s just the timing I wish was better, father down the road.”

“Well, what’s done is done,” Grisha said. “So get used to being called Grandma real soon.”

Vita sighed but with a laugh signaling she was done fighting the inevitable for now. “Remember when we found Mikasa’s diary when she was twelve or thirteen and she wrote about how she wanted to marry Eren and have kids with him?”

“I do believe it was approximately three kids she wanted,” Tom added.

“And I tried to tell you, Carla, that Mikasa had a crush on him. You told me the only statement more obvious was the sun is in the sky.”

“It’s not my fault you refused to see it,” Carla laughed at the old memory. “How, I don’t know. She pined after him for Christ sake.”

“I tried to confront Mikasa too, to tell her this wasn’t appropriate behavior, though I knew it was normal for a girl her age to have a crush on a guy friend, especially a neighbor but my first reaction was ‘Oh God, no, not him’.” She was trying not to laugh. “And Mikasa was so horrified she locked herself in her room for the rest of the night.”

“That’s a wedding toast story if I ever heard one.”

Carla looked up to see both Armin and Eren standing in the doorway.

Eren had a hand to his heart. “Really? Mrs. A, your first response? I’m so wounded.”

Armin snorted. “Please, Eren, do you even remember yourself as a kid? Any parent would’ve thought it.”

“C’mon, Jean was always a bigger shithead than me.”

“Where’s Mikasa?” Carla asked, cutting their bickering off as she pushed herself up to her feet.

“She had to use the bathroom,” Eren said as he leaned in to wave at his other parents as well.

“Why don’t you two start bringing in food from the kitchen. People will start showing up soon.” She ushered them away before turning back. “Well, I do hope that everything is ready now.”

“Do you have any games at all?” Vita asked.

Carla shook her head. “It’s a jack and jill so I figured those kinda things work better with the women. Though maybe those two will tell us what the named the baby.”

“Who says we did already?” Mikasa was carefully walking down the steps into the room when Carla looked over. Mikasa had one hand on her swollen stomach but her eyes were looking around the room. “It’s so pretty in here, Aunt Carla, thank you.”

“Don’t you distract me,” Carla said, though she couldn’t hold back her smile. “I know Armin knows.”

“That’s cause he’s the godfather.” Eren was holding a crockpot in his hands as he walked back in. “He has to get some perk.”

“Well, we’re the grandparents,” Vita gestured to the others in the room. “We deserve some perks too especially when we’re the babysitters.”

Armin placed the two trays he carried into the room onto the table before turning to look at them. “You’ll have to make me an offer I can’t refuse.”

“Go keep getting food,” Carla laughed, lightly shoving Armin back in the direction of the kitchen. “And don’t start using the fake Italian accent again.”

“I’ll help,” Tom volunteered, following Armin out of the room; his eyes more on the food than where he was going.

“And no sneaking food either, you hear me,” Carla called after them. She was about to go have Grisha help as well when Mikasa leaned in to give her a hug,

“Thank you for doing all this,” Mikasa said, her head leaning on Carla’s shoulders.

“Of course, sweetheart, anything for my girls. It’s about time we have more girls here. We’ve always been out numbered haven’t we?” Carla hugged her, rubbing Mikasa’s back. “I’m sorry about the pink. That was all your mother.”

“I heard that, Carla.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes to Carla but went to go sit down by her mom.

“How many people are you expecting, Mom?” Eren placed more food down on the table. “The entire Roman army?”

“Just family and friends,” Carla shrugged, gesturing for Grisha to go help too.

“Mikasa’s brother even got leave to come out for this,” Vita said.

Eren nearly dropped the crockpot Tom had handed him. “Levi’s coming?”

“Yes, he hasn’t seen Mikasa the whole time she’s been pregnant. He wasn’t going to miss her baby shower.”

“You mean he wouldn’t miss the opportunity to murder me in cold blood.”

Armin was licking his fingers from a buffalo wing he ate as he patted Eren on the shoulder. “It really was nice knowing you, buddy.”

“Stop being dramatic, Eren.” Carla swatted Armin’s hand away from more buffalo wings. “Levi’s known you since you were nine. He used to baby sit you.”

“You do realize you’re talking about the guy who would tie me up if he was sick of watching me or who locked me in the closest because I made Mikasa cry.”

“To be fair you probably deserved it, son.” Grisha passed a dish to Tom in the room. “You weren’t exactly an easy child to control.”

Carla stepped out of the way when Mikasa, who was trying not to laugh, stood in front of him. Carla couldn’t hear what Mikasa was telling him; it made him roll his eyes but also pulled a smile on his lips. It was hard not to see the adoration Eren held for Mikasa every time he looked at her and the happiness when he placed his hands on the sides of her belly. She must’ve made him laugh because Carla heard it over all the chatter in the room. Vita could think the time was wrong all she wanted because when Carla looked at them, she had to disagree.

The doorbell rang, causing Carla to look away. Grisha motioned that he would get the door as he disappeared around the corner. Well, she hoped everyone was ready for lots of pink.


	48. That Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 11th – That Night
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: In canon before their final battle  
> Rating: M (For sexual situations)  
> Words: 3213

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: When I read this prompt, I knew exactly what I wanted to write and it’s been a little bit since I wrote full on smut so here you go! I don’t know if they’d exactly have a final battle so to speak but I liked the concept of Eren and Mikasa spending what they thought were their final hours together. 
> 
> I'm gonna be busy in the morning so have an early upload!

Tomorrow. It was actually happening tomorrow. Their plans had come and go, succeeded and failed but tomorrow would start the final plan to take down the people who controlled the creation of the titans, who controlled this world and caused them all to live in fear and death.

Eren laid on his back staring up at the cloth top of his tent. They had camped out in the woods just outside their destination, Levi saying everyone needed their rest for this to succeed and God did they need to succeed. This was their last chance; their only shot to get it right.

He sighed and rolled over, trying to close his eyes but sleep just wouldn’t come to him no matter how much he tried. He needed to rest, most of this plan was on his shoulders which is why Hanji gave him his own tent so he could rest but it wasn’t doing him any good whatso ever. Tomorrow it was all gonna end for good or bad and either way him and all his comrades, his friends, could die during this. After everything they went through, any of them could be gone in an instant.

Eren rolled onto his back again, the moon slightly visible through the fabric overhead. He wasn’t sure if he was gonna sleep with the nerves bundling in his stomach, seeing the death of the people he cared about every time he shut his eyes. It wasn’t exactly soothing. With a groan he threw himself onto his side but this time he heard a noise that made him look up.

“Did I wake you?” Mikasa‘s quiet voice spoke from the entrance of his tent. She was crouched in front like she was about to come in, just wearing her shirt, long skirt, and red scarf around her neck.

“No,” Eren said sitting up on his mat. “Not even close which I assume is the same for you.”

Mikasa nodded but she stayed where she was in front of the tent.

“Well, don’t just sit there,” Eren said, sitting up fully and moving over in the small area.

She crawled in the tent, sitting down on the mat next to him but she had her eyes in her lap, not looking anywhere but down; clearly the same things were playing in her mind too. He watched her carefully, her black hair falling in her face but Eren still saw the heartache, the worry, the fear. What could he say? Everything was gonna be okay? They both knew that was probably a lie filled with nothing but false hope; he wasn’t about to do that to her. Instead he reached an arm around her shoulder, tugging her closer to him.

Mikasa’s head fell against him, her scarf pulling up over her mouth. She didn’t have to say why she was here, it was the same reason she always came to him, the same reason he was always thankful for her presence: comfort. She was always soothing, always calming; even in his most heated moments and this could be the last time he had that with her.

Eren shook his head. He couldn’t think like that; not now, it would only make things worse.

“What’s wrong?” she asked looking up at him.

He sighed, his eyes meeting hers. He always tried to keep his feelings to himself, not wanting to make it worse, make her worry but what was it worth anymore? It just didn’t seem like much. “I never wanted this.”

“You always wanted to join the Scouting Legion though.”

“Yeah, I did but I never wanted this for you, for Armin. You deserved so much better, you always did.”

Mikasa was quiet for a moment as she looked at him. “But it’s what we wanted, it’s what I wanted. Could you really see me or Armin sitting cozy on the inner walls? No, we’d be worried sick about you; here we’d make sure you were okay. I don’t regret joining with you. I never have.”

“Then why are you so sad?”

She looked surprised for a moment and it almost made him roll his eyes.

C’mon, Mikasa, how long have we been together? The thought alone made his heartache when he remembered what tomorrow could bring for them. “Don’t tell me you aren’t. I know when you’re sad.”

She was still watching him as if contemplating what to tell him. “Tomorrow…” she started but was unsure what to say after that.

Yeah, tomorrow. Tomorrow where he could lose the fight and lose everything he loved or he could win and still lose everything he loved. “Tomorrow is tomorrow but not tonight,” Eren settled on; it wasn’t like it was weighing on his mind heavily but how could he spend his last night with Mikasa seeing her sad? That wasn’t what he wanted to remember. He kicked back his blanket and tossed some over her legs. He laid back down on the mat, extending an arm out gesturing for her to do the same. Mikasa moved in and laid herself down, her head close to his chest as he draped his arm over her waist; he felt a familiar warm that only she could bring fill his body already. He rested his head on top of hers remembering the countless times he found his nights like this.

“This reminds me of the refugee home we stayed in, and those small little cots. How I used to find myself on the ground more often than not because the beds weren’t big enough when the both of us tried to squeeze in one.” Eren felt Mikasa laugh lightly against him at the distant memory.

“It was still better than the military bunks,” she said.

“That’s because you either had to come into a room full of boys or I had to get into a room full of girls with wandering superior officers that would have kicked our asses if we got caught.” Eren snorted at the memory; that one seemed just as far away.

Mikasa’s body shook again, but when he heard the choked cry from her lips he knew it wasn’t from laughter this time. He pulled himself away from her slightly to be able to see the tears already pooling in her eyes. He felt his heart clench at the sight, he hated seeing her cry. “Hey, what’s the matter?” he asked, knowing very well he didn’t need to ask.

She shook her head, her hand reaching up to wipe her tears away quickly but the damage was done.

“Mikasa,” he tried again, he couldn’t let it end like this between them, he just couldn’t. “Please.” He put his hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing a tear rolling down her skin. “Talk to me.”

She looked up, watery eyes meeting his. “I can’t do it anymore.”

“What are you talking about? You’re Mikasa, you can do anything.” He had hoped to lighten the mood but she didn’t even smile.

“I didn’t want to be selfish,” she said, her voice wavering in a way Eren hadn’t heard since she was a little girl. “Because it would be, it wouldn’t be fair to you if something happened to me.”

“Mikasa,” Eren said. “It’s just me. You can tell me anything.” She was acting so strange; yeah they could all die tomorrow, but he hadn’t seen her act like this in a long time.

Her eyes met his again, still shinning but at least she stopped crying. “I couldn’t die without telling you how much you are loved, how much I love you.” She paused for a moment, and Eren saw the color rising to her cheeks. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time, I just…” She hesitated for a moment. “I knew I shouldn’t say anything because I wouldn’t want you to feel guilty if something happened to me and its okay you don’t feel the same I just needed to-”

“Mikasa,” Eren reached his hand down to hold her shoulder to get her to stop babbling. He couldn’t remember the last time she had talked like that. She must’ve been upset and nervous; his own heart was pounding in his chest too.

She was looking at him like the weight of her words hit her, fearing his reaction but there was relief in her eyes finally saying what she must have kept in for so long, and that he could understand.

“Don’t be stupid,” he mumbled, his grip on her getting tighter and his eyes never leaving hers. “Of course, I love you, how could you think I never did.”

Mikasa opened her mouth, whether to gape at him or to give him a probably very good reason why she could think that way but Eren didn’t give her the chance. He slammed his lips into hers giving him the one thing he realized too late he always wanted. She gasped against his lips in clear surprise but easily melted into him, her hands reaching to press against his chest and her lips moving with his.

Eren broke away, his breath ragged as he pressed his forehead to hers. “It’s always been you.” His voice was low; he almost didn’t recognize it as his own. “It took me too long to realize and even longer to be afraid to tell you. I couldn’t do that to you if everything ends. How could I leave you with that?”

 She looked up at him, warm breath on his face. “I didn’t want you to feel guilty…if I didn’t come back.”

“No,” he shook his head. “Not guilty without you, just lost. I’d be nothing without you.”

Mikasa made a choked noise, and Eren had to look down to make sure she wasn’t crying again. He wasn’t met with tears though, it was her lips back on his with such a force she nearly pushed him over. He steadied himself, kissing her with the same intensity she gave him. He moved his hand from her face down to her waist and with one sharp tug her body fell into his. She gasped again causing Eren to break from their kiss so his lips trailing along her jaw, her cheek, anywhere he could reach.

It was Mikasa who reached up for her scarf that was covering her neck; with a careful motion she tugged it down and off, leaving her neck bare to him. Eren met her eyes again understanding what she was trying to do. It was the one thing that always bound them, but there were ways to bind people more than fabric ever could. He didn’t hesitate to press his lips gently against the soft skin of her neck, his fingers tightening on her waist.

She gave a small cry at his touch, one that sent chills down his spine and made him realize just how tight his pants had gotten already. There was desire, desire that had been pushed away for so long that he felt overwhelmed with how much he wanted her but there was also love. A love that was always there from the moment he saw her dark eyes looking back at his. Love that wanted to make her happy, that wanted to see her smile, that wanted her to be safe and if this was going to be the end of it all, there was no one else he’d want to spend his last night with than the woman he loved long before he knew what love was.

He carefully bit down on her skin as he kissed her, leaving small marks as he went but it wasn’t until he felt Mikasa’s calloused but warm hands against the bare skin of his stomach that he took a sharp breath on her neck. She left a trail of goose bumps everywhere her hands moved up him onto his chest. Eren took his hand and tugged at the collar of his shirt until he pulled it off, tossing it somewhere in the tent. She ran her hands up around his neck and down to his back, pulling herself closer to him as she met his lips again.

The bare skin that was touching his was driving Eren insane, he needed to feel more of her against him, to have her right with him with nothing in between. His hand reached up for the top button of her shirt but he broke away to look at her again. As much as Eren wanted her, he needed to know she felt the same. Her hands fumbled down at her buttons trying to help him which Eren supposed answered that question.

She shrugged herself out of the button up leaving her in just her white bra but Eren didn’t even have a chance to look. Mikasa wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling her body back to his as his lips found hers. He let out a low groan as her skin met his sending electricity through his veins. His hands trailed along her back, her waist, her stomach, any place her could reach on her; feeling every dip, every scar, every soft bit of skin she had.

He felt her hands move down his chest and sides but he was more focused on kissing back down her next and to her now exposed chest. It wasn’t till his hand moved down to her hip where her skirt once sat to find only the thin material of her underwear that he realized she had kicked off her other remaining piece of clothing.

Eren looked up to meet her eyes again, his hand tightening on her hip. She moved to kiss him again, something he didn’t mind at all, he didn’t think he’d ever get sick of the way she tasted, the way her now swollen lips moved with his. She moved her body close to his again, skin meeting skin once more, but this time she extended her leg over his waist pulling her lower body into him and rolling her hips right against his already throbbing arousal. He couldn’t hold in the moan as his hands flew to her waist holding her hard to him as he grinded his hips right back into hers.

She cried out, a little too loud this time, only being cloth that separated them from the others. “Shh shh,” he breathed against her skin as he pushed his weight on her, causing her to lay her back down on the mat. His lips trailed down her neck to her chest, the tops of her breasts showing from her bra. His hands held her hips firm underneath him as her own hands moved to tangle themselves in his hair. Eren didn’t have the slightest clue what he was doing or what he should do but judging by the way her eyes were closed when he glanced up, her head thrown back against the mat and the sharp breaths coming from her lips something must’ve been right.

He pressed his lips against her skin again, carefully moving down until he reached her soft but firm breast leaving a trail of kisses everywhere he could reach. With a slightly strangled gasp, Eren felt Mikasa reach behind her back the bra going slack around him. He reached on hand under the material, gently running his palm over her. She arched her back into him, pushing her breast harder into his hand as he grabbed down on her.

“Eren,” she gasped, chills rocking his spine at the breathless and desperate way she called his name. He rolled his hips into hers again unable to control himself at his name fallen from her lips. “Please.” Her hands moved down his chest and stomach till her fingers reached the button of his pants, her other hand reach down to brush over him. Eren had to muffle his groan against her skin from her touch.

He sat up off of her, trying to get his shaking fingers to undo his pants and slide them off. He felt a little bit of relief once the pressure of his pants were gone but when he turned back to Mikasa she had done the same, leaving herself completely bare before him. It took all he had not to lose it right there; Jesus, she was beautiful.

She must’ve noticed how he froze because she pushed herself up until she was sitting in his lap, her bare skin brushing with his in all the right places. His head fell against her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close. He felt her wet core right up against his still throbbing erection driving him absolutely crazy.

“Mikasa,” his voice was hoarse. “Are you sure?”

She took his face in her hands and brought his head up till she was looking at him. “Of course.”

Eren pressed his lips to hers and held onto her back, bracing her as he laid her down. Her hands ran down his back while he settled himself between her legs. She gripped down on his hips letting him know it was okay. Eren rolled his head into her shoulder his hands keeping her own hips steady as he slid himself into her. She took a sharp breath as he moaned against her skin; he at least knew to give her a moment, a moment he was grateful for or he wasn’t going to keep it under control. She was too warm, too tight, too perfect.

Mikasa gave a tentative roll of her hips against him causing Eren to hiss in pleasure but also let him know it was okay. He carefully moved his hips with hers, slowly at first, making sure he didn’t hurt her but when her moans grew and her own hips reaching up to meet his, he lost any sense of control that he had.

Her arms reached around his neck, holding him close as they frantically moved together, his head pressed into her neck. “Mikasa,” he groaned, his hands still tight on her hips. “I’m not…I can’t…”

She held onto him tighter, her own legs shaking against him. Eren heard her trying to control her moans against his ear when he felt her clamp down on him, and it pushed him right over the edge his own groans filling his ears as he felt what felt like endless waves of pleasure wash over his body with Mikasa. Mikasa…Mikasa she was all he saw, all he felt and he knew, he knew what he always knew, he was always meant to hers and she was always meant to be his.

They stayed still for a moment, only each other’s heavy breathing filling Eren’s ears. He carefully pulled himself out of her and rolled back onto his original spot on the map. He reached over to put his hand on Mikasa’s cheek, while the other hand pulled her into him again, not wanting her to be too far away ever again.

“It’s been a long time,” he said, his voice still sounding low and hoarse. “We’ve been together a long time.”

Mikasa nodded, pressing her forehead to his. Eren could feel a tear drop onto his face and he wasn’t sure if it was from him or from her.

“And we always will be.”


	49. Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 13th - Change
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Current Arc; After Eren gets rescued cause c’mon, Isayama, you’re killing me here  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 4598

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really loved this prompt because there really have been so many subtle changes in their relationship over the course of the series that it was fun to look at all of them. I did do something different, I look at those changes through the eyes of the others in the team who would have seen those changes too. It was a little hard because I had to remember who was around for what, and realized a lot of their moments and development happened when no one else was around haha But hey, I bet they could all see it anyway.

Things had changed, that was clear. Things changed the moment they formed their small squad under Levi, but things changed even more when Eren and Historia were brought back from being captured and it was noticeable.

Sasha always prided herself on her observation skills; she was a hunter born and raised and while, yeah, that was for animals, it wasn’t like she couldn’t see things in front of her face. It was hard not to notice Eren, Mikasa, and Armin from the moment they joined the military together, mainly because Mikasa excelled at everything and Eren’s loud declarations of how he wanted to change the world with Armin always by their side. It was also pretty obvious Mikasa was always in love with Eren; it was pretty much as clear as day even though the girl may not have even realized it at the time.

Sasha also couldn’t help but notice the amount of times Eren and Mikasa fought, granted she was pretty sure everyone knew that. Sasha had also always roomed with Mikasa them both being girls and Sasha heard Mikasa’s quiet cries at night after those fights. Sasha saw that Eren cared about her but she wasn’t sure if he was always aware of it, having his mind on other things especially after he discovered he was a shifter.

Sasha knew she wasn’t the first person who noticed the distinct change, which probably went to Armin who was a lot closer to them then she was, but she did notice it when she returned to her squad and was stationed in the mountains. It was shocking at first, to see Eren openly being the one who was getting on Mikasa to rest and not push herself when she was hurt or Eren not even getting upset when Mikasa worried about him. She had no idea what happened but she knew it was something; it had to have been something. Maybe it was during the fight she had missed; they told her about it, about the others who left them but no one really mentioned Eren and Mikasa except he some trait now to control titans and she had gotten hurt. Sasha almost asked Armin at one point what was going on with them, but she realized it probably wasn’t really her business.

If the changes between those two weren’t obvious then, they sure as hell were now. Sasha was walking behind them through the woods, traveling to their next destination to launch their plans Levi and Hanji set up. While their long, dark cloaks covered most their bodies Sasha still saw the way every now and then their fingers would brush against each other, lingering a bit longer than a normal brush by would. They were talking in hushed tones, probably so Levi wouldn’t turn around and yell at them to shut up, but Sasha still saw a distinct smile on Mikasa’s face whenever she looked over to Eren something Sasha wasn’t sure if she had ever seen before. It wasn’t like a big toothy grin but a smile for Mikasa was something different and Sasha knew her for the past six years. Even Eren looked more relaxed as they walked; keeping up with whatever conversation he was having with Mikasa and not once looking disgruntled like Sasha knew he could be when it came to her.

Sasha couldn’t keep a smile off her own lips. She wasn’t sure what happened between them, but she was glad. They were still her friends and she wanted them to be happy while they still could be.

 

* * *

 

Connie never cared much to look too closely at the things around him. He was there to make his village, his family proud and do what he could to do his job in the Scouting Legion. It wasn’t until what happened to his mom, when the realization hit him out in his village that Connie realized he should be paying more attention around him, to make sure what happened to them didn’t happen to anyone else again.

While he was getting better at becoming a better solider, romance was still something that eluded him. He liked Sasha, and he liked all the girls he had trained with but romance? He was pretty sure fighting for their lives and the lives of all the soldiers and humanity itself did take a priority. It wasn’t something that ever even crossed his mind, well, until he watched Historia go desperately for Ymir and how he watched her break when Ymir left her behind. He saw it in her eyes, the ache of losing the person who meant the world to you and Connie realized he saw it before. He saw it in Mikasa’s eyes countless time. Granted, Connie just thought she was sad all the time, but it wasn’t until later he realized she was sad all the time because she couldn’t catch up to the one she loved.

It was pretty obvious once Connie realized that Mikasa had always been in love with Eren and why she always seemed so upset about it. Eren didn’t exactly seem to always want her around, always fighting with her, always getting mad at her, always running off to do whatever he wanted to do when Connie thought Mikasa just wanted to be with him. Connie was pretty sure Eren didn’t mean the way he acted towards her, and he was very sure that was the case when he saw the way Eren carried her out of the battlefield, the way he stayed by her side until she got medical help on the wall.

Maybe Eren was kinda like him, always having too much else on the mind until something jarred him enough to see what was in front of him. They never really talked about what happened out there but something changed between them after that. They were softer towards each other; no more harsh words, no more fights. Even when Eren was missing Mikasa took it a lot better than Connie had seen her take it, but he saw that sadness back in her eyes, the same kind he saw in Historia as he walked next to her in the woods.

Connie glanced behind him, Eren and Mikasa walking a little distance back with Sasha and Hanji keeping up the rear. Mikasa was looking off at the woods, checking to see if anyone was following them Connie was sure, while Eren probably should’ve been doing it too, he wasn’t; he was looking at Mikasa instead. She didn’t seem to notice but Connie saw it easily; it wasn’t sadness, it wasn’t anger, it was relief. They all worried about Mikasa when Eren was missing, wondering what she would do without him but Connie didn’t even know if anyone thought how Eren would feel being in danger and being a part from her also not knowing if she was alive or dead. A few years ago, Connie probably wouldn’t have even thought about it but he was there when they got to Eren. Connie saw the way Eren looked in that moment, like Mikasa was the only person in the room which was the same way he was looking at her now.

Connie looked back a head, feeling like he was imposing on something that really wasn’t meant for him to see. He still wasn’t sure about romance himself, not in this world at least, but if they could find happiness before the end of it all how could he ever blame them?

 

* * *

 

Jean always knew; from their first day in training he knew, and it had irritated him ever since. Mikasa was the prettiest girl he ever saw with gorgeous black hair like no one he knew but of course, one word from Jaeger and since then Mikasa kept her hair short. That was enough to tell him what kind of relationship they had. He tried a few times to talk to Mikasa again, to really talk to her but she was always with Eren; no matter where he went, she followed.

It was infuriating that she wouldn’t even give him a chance; she only had eyes for Jaeger even though he only had eyes for everything else that wasn’t her. Jean couldn’t count how many times he picked a fight with Eren just because he was angry with how he treated her. Here Eren had this beautiful and strong girl who would do everything for him and all he did was just get annoyed that she cared about him. How blind could you be? Maybe he just took Mikasa for granted, always thinking she’d be there to come after him, always there by his side.

Jean supposed Eren could’ve been frustrated that he wasn’t the one who ever seemed to be able to save her, that she protected him when he wanted to be the one to protect her. Jean probably wouldn’t have liked it much either to be honest when he would have wanted to be the one to take care of her but Mikasa could take care of herself and everyone around her just fine. He liked a strong woman, but he’d want to be able to look after her too. Jean didn’t want to give Eren too much credit though because, seriously, he could learn to treat her a lot better than he had.

It was always a light hope that Mikasa would get sick of how Eren did treat her, always pushing her and her feelings aside, and give up on her affections but after six years and nothing had changed Jean was beginning to know better. Well, he couldn’t say _nothing_ had changed, because it had, just not in the way he wanted it to. Jean was the one to save Mikasa when she was about to get eaten, it was him not Eren. Granted Eren was tied up by two former comrades and had no way of getting to her even if he wanted to but that was beside the point. Jean was there for her for once.

It didn’t quite work out for him when he woke up on Armin’s horse and almost immediately saw a change between them. Eren, who carried her off his horse and straight to the medics, didn’t leave her for a second until he knew she was okay. Even when he finally did, there was something different about him. Jean even tried to goad him into getting a rise out of him by telling him Jean was the one who saved Eren’s beloved Mikasa thinking he’d get mad or furiously deny it. Eren didn’t though; he told Jean he was right and thanked him instead, something to which even Jean didn’t know what to say.

He watched the two of them sitting down on the forest ground, backs against a tree. Jean was sitting across from them, with Connie and Sasha chatting quietly near him. Though Jean’s eyes were on both Mikasa and Eren they never even looked up. They didn’t look like they were saying anything, just sitting there, her knees up against her chest though they were leaning slightly against Eren’s legs. Mikasa had taken Eren missing far better than Jean thought she would but by the way they were inseparable since Eren had come back it was clear how much she had missed him, and even more annoyingly, it was clear how much Eren missed her too.

Jean scoffed looking away from them. It looked like someone finally got damn some sense knocked into his head.

 

* * *

 

Hanji had always liked Eren, and not just because he could shift into a titan and provided endless experiments and new discoveries; it was because Eren was a good kid, he always had been. A little hot headed and reckless, yes, but he had a good heart. Eren was just always lucky he had Mikasa there to go after him or keep him in line. He’d be long dead without her around. Hanji was fond of Mikasa too; she liked the girl’s strength, of course, but she liked her heart even more. Mikasa loved with no restraint which was mostly why Eren was still alive today.

It seemed like just yesterday those youngins walked into the Scouting Legion and she was grateful for their presence. Both of them were giving humanity a chance again with Mikasa’s fighting almost on par with the strongest of the Scouting Legion and Eren being able to control his shifter abilities much better than when he first started. They still were kids though, something Hanji had to remind herself of on a regular basis do to their situations at hand; Eren was fifteen when she met him, Armin and Mikasa both the same age.

It was strange thinking about the first time she met Eren, back when he was on trial to see if the Scouting Legion would get him or if he would be executed. Yeah, he was a shifter something that was completely unknown up until then but still, he was a kid and a kid who risked his life to seal that hole in the wall. How could they execute him for that? Hanji was aware of how young he looked tied up to that pole in the center of the room, having insults and death threats thrown at him from all sides. She was impressed how well he took it overall; he looked a little scared, a little confused but he was still taking everything in stride as if he was trying to work it all out with himself as well. That was until the first time Hanji saw Mikasa.

Hanji wasn’t even really aware of the girl beforehand but when the court mentioned that Eren had attacked a girl by the name of Mikasa Ackerman, Hanji followed Eren’s horrified eyes across the court to the black haired girl. It was clear right away with the way she moved her hair to cover her scar, the way Eren looked like he couldn’t even believe he’d do such a thing that they had a different type of bond. It became a little more clear when the court brought up their past, two nine years olds killing three grown men. So they had been childhood friends that made more sense but Hanji was caught off guard one more time when the court started to go after the girl, stating that she might be a monster like Eren and to execute her as well. The so far calm Eren snapped in front of Hanji’s eyes to come to Mikasa’s defense, calling himself a monster but not her, never her.

It was clear they had a very special bond and one that Hanji only watched grow the more she was around them. They were always inseparable, only being a being a part for mission tactics and if Eren was taken away by the people they were fighting. Hanji easily saw that same fire in Mikasa’s eyes Hanji saw in Eren’s eyes in that courtroom when she told Levi and his team she had a clue to where Eren and Historia was, telling Hanji just how much Mikasa wanted to be back with him.

They had a moment of peace now, peace that wouldn’t last long granted, but as she walked towards the head of the now resting caravan to talk to Levi she couldn’t help but smile when she saw Mikasa and Eren huddled up near Armin on the forest floor. It was a good feeling to be able to have the one you loved back.

* * *

 

Historia hadn’t always been jealous of Mikasa and Eren, in fact she had felt bad for them. It was painfully obvious the both of them had deep passion for each other, so deep Historia was sure they didn’t even really know it themselves for years. The closer Historia got to Ymir though, the more she saw between Eren and Mikasa, and the more Historia fell in love with Ymir, the more she could tell they were in love with each other too, which is why Historia felt bad for them.

In this shitty world, Historia had someone who she could trust and lean on, someone she loved being around more than anyone else, someone she was in love with and someone she knew at one point loved her too. Eren and Mikasa, they had that bond, that trust, that love, they just refused to admit it to themselves let alone others. While Mikasa was always a little more obvious than Eren on how she felt, Historia easily saw the same look in Eren’s eyes when he looked at Mikasa that Historia had seen in Ymir’s eyes before. Everything was there for them; they just wouldn’t let themselves have it.

Maybe it was they really didn’t know it, or maybe they were afraid to let themselves have each other only to have one of them be ripped away never to be seen again causing a pain that was unlike any other; a pain Historia knew too well. It wasn’t until she was left alone missing the person she wanted to see most in the world that she started to feel the bites of jealousy. She had no idea what happened in that field, having her own problems to work through but she did notice it wasn’t just Mikasa that followed Eren all around but he started following her all around too.

Even when they were captured together, Eren never really talked about Mikasa and Historia thought it might have been a bit why she never talked about Ymir; it would just hurt too much. She saw his face when Mikasa and the others came busting into that room and her heart nearly broke just to see their faces and knowing there was no one coming to help her who would look at her like that. While it was a fight to get out, they managed it and between whatever had happened before with Eren and Mikasa and this last separation it just seemed like neither of them ever intended to let each other out of their sight again.

Historia heard Levi’s distinct call to let them know they were moving again. She went to push herself up to her feet to take her spot next to Armin when she saw Eren already at his feet. He reached his hand down to help Mikasa to her feet though Historia was pretty sure Mikasa didn’t need any help. She didn’t seem to care though, slipping her hand into his as he gave her a tug to help her up. Eren must have tugged too hard because she stumbled just bit, falling a little closer to him than either expected. Historia couldn’t tell if they were talking or not but she did see Mikasa’s eyes look up to Eren’s, probably wondering when he got taller than her. Seeing them together like that, it was obvious that Eren wasn’t the fifteen year old boy he used to be when they joined the Scouting Legion.

She turned away to walk to her spot, her heart already aching. Historia hadn’t always been jealous of them but things changed, more than she ever expected.

 

* * *

 

Levi didn’t know when he became the only father figure to all these brats, but he knew it wasn’t what he signed up for when he took his position. Granted, most kids their age died before they ever got this far so this group was an exception. Sure they could all mange to survive, some more so than others, but he wasn’t always a fan of toting them around all over the damn interiors for this fight, well, with the exception of two.

He had known who and what Mikasa was almost from the moment he knew her name; there were too many coincidences, she had to be exactly who he thought she was. Then there was Jaeger, impulsive, uncontrollable and passionate Eren Jaeger. Him and Mikasa were quite a match, her quiet strength and his raw power. It didn’t surprise him at all, as much as it made him want to roll his eyes at them.

He hadn’t paid much attention to her in the trial aside from her name being passed around and it getting a rise out of Eren, which gave Levi an opening to follow through with what he needed to have happen in that court. It wasn’t until she abandoned her own post to chase after the female titan who took Eren that Levi noticed her, and her abilities; also that she clearly couldn’t think of anything else but Eren. He remembered her from the trial then, Eren’s childhood friend, and things clicked there. Even though because of her one weakness Levi was the one who ended up hurt and the brat getting eaten but easily able to heal himself, the situation gave Levi insights to the two soldiers now under his control. 

First being able to see Mikasa’s particular talents up close, talents he himself had at her age and talents that made her nearly unstoppable against any foe or multiple foes. Second being she had one large weakness and that being none other than Eren; judging by the way she had avoided Levi’s question asking about their relationship, it was less about their past history and more about how she felt about him. Third being because of the connections Levi made between their past and the trial and the way Eren reacted in the trial when she was in potential danger showed him that Eren had one big weakness as well. Levi almost pitied the being that got in Eren’s way when he realized that Mikasa was his weakness too.

Levi didn’t have to wonder for all that long though. While he hadn’t been there when Eren’s ability to control titans had manifested, he made Eren tell him the story multiple times to see what they could learn from the situation. Eren could recite a good majority of it but there were times when he hesitated or tried to downplay what exactly happened in that field, and Levi very well knew it was because Mikasa was there with him. With the way her and Eren relaxed around each other for once, Levi assumed something was said, something came out into the open. Eren just said the power manifested because he had to do something so he and Mikasa wouldn’t get eaten by the same titan who killed his mother so he threw himself at the titan, and the other titans behind him flew over under Eren’s control.

Levi highly suspected it wasn’t just that; Mikasa was injured more than he ever saw her, not even being able to walk. He had a feeling that Eren finally realized that she was a human like anyone else, someone who could be hurt or killed in front of his eyes and Eren wasn’t having it. It was his turn to look after her because Eren’s weakness wasn’t just the back of his neck and like Mikasa, when that weakness was threatened he did everything he could to protect her, thus the power emerging.

Levi did have to scoff. Of course, Eren was always in control of everything in situations where he felt that undying passion of his; the complete opposite of Mikasa. Levi glanced behind him to make sure everyone was keeping up. Historia and Armin were there, keeping their eyes out on the woods as were Hanji and Sasha towards the back but leave it to Mikasa and Eren not to be paying attention to anyone but each other. Levi looked back a head at the path. They were even more inseparable since Eren joined their squad again, if that was possible; it was disgusting. Though it was about time that brat got it right.

 

* * *

 

Armin wasn’t surprised, not at all. He saw it coming for years, since the day he met Mikasa. Armin knew Eren better than anyone, save for maybe his mom, they had been friends since they were toddlers after all. Armin knew Eren better than he knew himself and when Eren brought Mikasa to meet Armin, for the first time since he knew Eren, Armin was surprised. It was so unlike him to just take to another person like that; Armin was Eren’s only friend for a reason, mainly because he just didn’t get along with anyone else, ever, boys or girls. Yet here was Mikasa, who followed him around like a little puppy and whom Eren never once minded her presence. Since the day Armin met her, Mikasa and Eren were inseparable, and that’s when Armin knew.

He watched them grow up, go through loss, take comfort in each other, protect each other, and never lose that inseparable bond they had formed with one another. Even when they joined the military, even when they fought, even when Eren snapped at her, when he pushed her away, made her cry and even when Mikasa annoyed Eren to no end, when she never gave him the chance to grow, to learn to better himself, and give him the opportunity to protect her to show how much he cared, that bond between them never broke. Armin would always say it was because despite all their horrible communication skills and constant misunderstandings, it was never enough to separate them. They both loved each other too much.

It was always clear to Armin, only getting clearer the older they got; also getting more frustrating when he was constantly stuck in the middle. He wanted to just tell them to tell each other how they were really feeling or he would himself but that wasn’t how it was supposed to be. They’d have to realize it themselves; Armin just hoped it wasn’t too late when they did.

It almost was the first time when they nearly died together in those fields. While Armin wasn’t there but Eren did tell him what happened afterward, none of which surprised Armin at all. He always knew Mikasa wouldn’t be able to die without letting Eren know how much he meant to her. The tension had finally left the two of them, leaving them more like when they were kids, just happy to still be together. The second time they had no idea where Eren even was for what seemed like months to the people who missed him sorely, not even knowing if they would see him again. Mikasa took it better than she had in the past; finally trusting Eren to take care of himself, to come back to her unharmed and he did, relatively unharmed. Armin couldn’t remember a time he saw Mikasa’s small smile as much as he had in the past few days. This time after they were reunited, the tension came back between them, but it was a little bit different type of tension then before, one that came from them wanting to be near each other too much and not the other way around.

Armin heard them talking softly behind him, but about what he wasn’t sure and even though they were his best friends in the world it probably wasn’t any of his business. He turned his head regardless, but the sight really wasn’t surprising. It was like they weren’t traveling with anyone else, just each other with the way they were looking; their green cloaks hung low on their bodies but Armin still saw Eren holding on tightly to her hand as they walked.

Armin turned back ahead with a smile. No, it wasn’t a surprise to him at all.


	50. Just Close Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Close Your Eyes
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: After Hanji’s experiments in chapter 52; someday I’ll get over they lived together in a small house, someday.  
> Rating: K+ (Light Language)  
> Words: 4084

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from Ryvius who asked from Eren losing his eyesight temporarily after an experiment and Mikasa’s face being the first thing he saw when his sight came back. I loved it because I don’t think Eren understands how much people mean to him until they are almost gone. He takes things for granted too much, especially things about Mikasa. So I thought once he couldn’t see her anymore, he’d miss every aspect of being able to see her and its precious. Title is from “Safe and Sound” byCapital Cities andTaylor Swift. If you haven’t guessed yet, almost every title in this drabble set is a lyric from a song from the playlist I have for them :3

It wasn’t like Eren didn’t want to help and it wasn’t like he didn’t know what he was getting himself into when he offered himself up to Hanji’s experiments but dammit if he didn’t feel like shit the next day. He groaned as his body started to wake up in his bed, feeling every sore and still burning muscle in his body. He didn’t even remember getting to his bed; the last thing he did remember was still being in his shifter form and then everything was black. He opened his eyes but the room was still dark, it must be sometime in the night.

How long was he out for anyway? It was impossible to tell; sometimes it was a day sometimes it a few days. He rubbed his hands over his eyes trying to wake himself up or at least let his eyes adjust to the dark room. Eren wondered if they actually figured anything out this time. It was getting risky even being up in the mountains for as long as they were; they needed to make some progress soon.

Eren sat up in his bed to swing his legs over the side and try and find someone who might be awake; probably Mikasa, he woke up countless times to her being nearby. The sound of the door opening made him halt though because even with the door being opened, no light came into the room at all.

“Eren?” a voice spoke into the room. He didn’t need to see her to know it was Mikasa, and it was a good thing he didn’t need to because he couldn’t even see her outline in the darkness.

He tried to squint to see if that would help, but still nothing. “Hey, Mikasa. Is it like in the dead of the night or did you guys shove me in a room with no windows or something. It’s impossible to see anything in here.”

He felt her hand on his arm telling him she was near but he couldn’t see her, not even a sliver of her. His heart started to race as panic started to rise in his stomach. He couldn’t see her at all, he couldn’t see anything.

“Eren, it’s okay. It’s nothing to worry about.” Her voice was soft and gentle, but he didn’t buy it at all.

“What happened?”

Mikasa hesitated; he didn’t need to see her to know that.

“Come on, out with it. If it’s not that bad then just tell me.”

“We think with all the experiments just wore your body out too much. Everything seemed to heal but…your eyes are having a hard time coming back. They already look better than yesterday so they’re healing, Hanji just thinks it might take a bit longer.”

Eren felt his stomach sink. He couldn’t see anything? How was…how was he supposed to move? To train? They were in hiding for God’s sake. They needed to move at the drop of a hat and here he couldn’t even see his damn hand in front of his face.

“Eren?” Mikasa asked again, her voice wavering slightly.

He felt how tense his body was, his hands clenched into fists; she must have noticed. He sighed through his nose, feeling too frustrated to actually say anything.

“Hey, look whose awake,” another voice said, entering the room. Eren knew it was Armin by the voice alone, which Eren supposed was handy since he couldn’t see anything at all. “How’re you feeling?”

Eren really didn’t think he needed to answer that. It was silent for a moment before he felt the bed dip as he assumed Armin sat down. It was the strangest feeling; he knew Armin and Mikasa were sitting right there next to him and he knew their faces better than his own and yet he still couldn’t see them at all. It hadn’t even been a few minutes and he hated it; he hated everything about it.

“Hanji said it shouldn’t take more than a few days maximum,” Armin said clearly trying to help him feel better. “She calculated when you were regenerating this time so I’d say the time period she gave you would be accurate. She said it might even come back as soon as today.”

A few days? A few days of not being able to see anything at all? Eren felt his jaw clench at the thought of it. She had to be wrong, it couldn’t take that long. It’s never taken that long before.

“Are you hungry at all? You’ve been out for a few days.” Mikasa’s hand was still on him, he felt her warm touch on his skin.  She had to still be sitting near, looking at him with those eyes probably full of concern that one time would have annoyed him because she was babying him. Now he only felt a jab in the chest because he couldn’t see those eyes.

He pulled his arm away from her. “No, I’m fine.” He didn’t want their pity, and he didn’t want to be taken care of, again. If this was how it was gonna be he wanted to do it himself; he had put Armin and Mikasa through enough they didn’t need to have a child to take care of again.

The room was quiet, but at the same time he felt like he heard everything. There was the sound of a bird outside a window maybe, someone talking outside the room though who he didn’t know, the slight squeak of the bed as Armin must’ve adjusted his weight, and soft footsteps getting fainter as they left the room. The weight still sitting on the bed told Eren who had left. He tilted his head in what he assumed was the direction Mikasa had left, a sigh leaving his mouth.

“I know it can’t be easy, but don’t take it out on her. You know where that leads,” Armin said. “She was worried about you.”

“I don’t want her to worry. I want to be able to take care of this myself so she doesn’t have to worry about me.”

Armin chuckled. “I’m sure she’d appreciate the sentiment, Eren, but I think she’s always gonna worry about you whether you take care of yourself or not.”

“Well, I’m gonna.” Eren reached to the edge of the bed and swung his legs over, feeling the hard floor under his feet. It was more than bizarre feeling things he knew so well but not being able to actually see anything. He pushed himself up to his feet, wobbling slightly as he wasn’t quite sure what was in front of him.

“Do you want any help?” Armin asked, though Eren had no idea if he was still sitting on the bed or not.

“No, I got it.” He felt like a child trying to take a small step, hands out to make sure he didn’t walk into the chair Mikasa was sitting on or any other furniture. He took a few steps without running into anything which gave him the confidence to take a larger step. Unfortunately that step made him stub his toe against the chair. He cursed falling forward some but he managed to catch his balance.

“You okay?” Armin asked; his voice was close telling Eren he was standing near him.

“Yeah, I got it.” Eren wasn’t really sure he had it but he wasn’t gonna tell Armin that. He took a step away from where he knew the chair was; he didn’t walk into anything which seemed like a good start. He knew from previous experience in the cabin the rooms weren’t that big but he took a few normal steps in what he hoped was the direction of the door. Nothing bumped into his feet, his body, his hands though he felt a little silly walking with his hands more than his feet regardless he knew he was near the doorway to the room, he had to be.

“Eren?” Armin asked from behind him but Eren paid no mind. The room wasn’t that big, he was almost there; if he could get out of this room, he could show he didn’t need their help, not this time.

Eren felt a sharp pain shoot through his face as he collided with what he assumed was the wall. “Goddammit,” he moaned reaching up to hold his throbbing nose and sore head.

So much for that. So much for stilling being himself while his useless regeneration took its sweet, sweet time. He was about to punch the damn wall when hands gently reached over his own hands, pulling them away from his face. He would have punched the person in the face if he hadn’t recognized the touch right away.

“Come to tell me I was wrong,” he grunted.

Mikasa didn’t say anything though Eren could almost feel her eyes on him as he felt some blood dripping down his face from his nose. “Tilt your head back,” she said as her hands reached down to his arm.

He did as he was told and let Mikasa lead him out of the room. He didn’t have to hold his hands out or shuffle around with her; Eren knew even if she wanted to, Mikasa wouldn’t knock him into anything. Granted, he wouldn’t blame her if she did. She didn’t lead him that far, adjusting his body so he felt a couch behind his legs. He sat down; his head rolling back against the couch as he reached a hand up prevent any blood from dripping on the couch. God knows he had enough problems without Levi hassling him about getting blood on the couch.

“I’ll be right back,” Mikasa said, her footsteps taking her away from him.

“Thanks for not laughing,” Eren called out, knowing Armin must’ve followed them out of the room.

“I don’t like seeing you so frustrated.” Armin’s voice was nearby, maybe on one of the chairs by the couch. “If it helps you were close to the door.”

Eren snorted but it only caused more blood to drip into his hands. He was trying to ignore the throbbing in his head, in his nose but it was hard to especially when he felt so much shame. How could he ever handle this on his own when he couldn’t even walk out of a damn room alone?

“Here.” Mikasa’s voice was close again, her hands pulling his away from his face.

Eren felt a wet cloth brush against his face, wiping the blood away, before she put a rag wrapped around ice in his hand. He brought it to his head as she tried to clean the blood off his hand as well. “Thanks,” he muttered. He heard her walking away from him but that was really it. The voices that were out here before were gone, or were at least not saying anything; he really couldn’t tell. He hoped no one else had been out here to see him humiliate himself, especially his team who never seemed to forget anything.

“Where is everyone?” he asked.

“Connie, Sasha, Jean, and Historia are out back training with Levi and Hanji I believe.” Armin said. “Hanji and Levi were in earlier to check up on you but when your eyes still didn’t seem like they came back they decided to get on with their day.”

“And he let you two stay?”

Armin sounded like he laughed lightly. “Yeah, I guess Levi decided it wasn’t worth fighting Mikasa on.”

Yeah, that sounded like Mikasa.

“You seem to be adjusting okay at least.”

“I walked into a wall. I wouldn’t call that adjusting.”

Armin probably rolled his eyes, Eren couldn’t tell but he knew Armin well enough. “I meant in regards to what’s around you. You didn’t jump at all when me or Mikasa called to you or when she touched your face without you even knowing she was there. I’m pretty sure that alone would make some people lash out.”

Eren shrugged. “Yeah, but it was Mikasa. I knew it was he and I know what you two sound like.” He didn’t even really have to think about it. Armin and Mikasa had been with him for so long now it would be weird if they weren’t around him even when he couldn’t see them.

The couch shifted next to Eren which he could only assume was Mikasa sitting down near him. He was trying to get used to listening since he couldn’t actually see the people around him but it was infuriating. All he wanted to do was turn his head like he always could and see Armin’s bright eyes or Mikasa’s face watching him carefully. He sighed as he shifted the ice on his face.

“Is it feeling better? The swelling looks like it’s going down.” Mikasa said as Eren could feel a light touch of her fingers on his face.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he muttered; the last thing he wanted to think about was the self-inflicted wound on his face from walking into a wall. Maybe he should just go back to sleep, at least then he was used to not seeing anything.

“It’s not permanent, Eren,” Armin said; he must have read the look on Eren’s face. “It’s just for a few days at most.”

Eren opened his mouth to say a few days was bad enough but another voice cut him off.

“Hey, guys!” Sasha called from somewhere behind him; they were outside so maybe from the back door. “Levi says stop being lazy asses and get outside.”

So much for a day off. He dropped the ice on the couch, not needing any other excuse for people to ask what happened, and pushed himself up to his feet. It was only when he was standing that he realized he had no idea which way to go. He knew he had to get behind him, but the path was completely lost. Eren nearly just tossed himself back in the chair in frustration, but he felt Mikasa tug on his arm. With a sigh, he let her lead him out from around the couch and out the back door. The only reason he knew he made it outside was because he smelled the fresh air as it blew against his face.

“Springer, stop waving. He can’t see you and you look like a moron.” Levi’s voice was a little bit farther away, somewhere out in the yard. “Arlert, you can see and you don’t need to be attached to Jaeger’s hip at all times so get out here.”

Eren heard Armin sigh and felt a hand press on his shoulder before he assumed Armin walked off to where the others were. Mikasa tugged lightly on his arm getting him to follow her; he wasn’t entirely sure where she was bringing him but when she stopped he couldn’t feel the hot sun on his skin anymore.

Mikasa let go of his arm. “Go ahead and sit down, its safe,” she said. “We’re just under the tree by the cabin.”

He sat down feeling the grass underneath his hands and Mikasa’s leg brushing by his telling him she was close. He picked at the grass with his hands, trying not to feel frustration rise in him. He wanted to be out there, doing something. He was already out for days and now he was sitting here yet again feeling useless. The wind blew around him as Levi called out drills in the background; he almost saw them all doing the motions Levi was barking. Almost. Well, he was sitting here and not slaving his ass away so maybe it wasn’t too bad.

“Remember when we used to slack off under the tree in the field back home?” Mikasa asked, her voice close but soft.

Eren turned his head towards her voice, even though he couldn’t see her; it was a habit he guessed. “You mean where you caught me slacking off.”

She laughed and it sent a jolt in Eren’s chest. He knew how she looked when she laughed, the way her small smile pulled at her lips, the way her eyes gleamed a little bit, the red that would color his cheeks. It didn’t happen all that often anymore and even though he couldn’t see her doing it, he still felt a smile pulling his lips. “It was the heat of the day and the shade. What kid could resist it?”

“Especially one who didn’t want to do work to begin with.”

Eren laughed lightly, leaning back to test to see if he had sat himself near the tree; lucky for him his back hit the thick trunk to prop himself up on. It seemed like a another time, another world when he had the leisure to fall asleep under a tree without worrying if he was going to survive through the next day or not. It was another time essentially; one long before he found himself tangled up in all the shit this world had to offer.

 “Armin used to read to us under that tree too,” Mikasa said; though her voice was a little lower than before.

“And we’d pretend the creek nearby was the ocean, the field being the world we could explore and find new things.”

“Until you stepped on a bee’s nest and your mom banned us from wandering too far away in the fields.”

Eren snorted. “How was I supposed to know what a bees nest on the ground looked like.” He felt Mikasa laugh next to him, but he couldn’t hear her make any noise. “Mikasa?” he asked but there was still no answer. He turned his head in the direction he knew she was; her leg was still against his, she had to still be there. “Hey, what’s wron-”

Her head rolled against his shoulder and he felt her steady breath against his neck. He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding; she just fell asleep. She was probably up all night worrying over him again. It was strange. He knew she was there, he felt her next to him, but not being able to see her, not being able to see her next to him he just…he didn’t like it.

Mikasa never left his side; she was always that way. He _knew_ she was there, but it was unnerving not to see her there. It just…he just didn’t like it.

Eren felt a yawn pull at his lips, the hot sun already giving him the same feelings he got when he was slacking off. Levi was still shouting in the distance but it was getting farther away. His head leaned against Mikasa’s as the heat of the day got to him, drifting him into a world that he could see at least.

It wasn’t until a cool breeze blew against him, sending goose bumps over his skin that he slowly came back to darkness. He reached up to rub his eyes as he pulled his head up, his neck feeling stiff.

“Not sure if its night time or if I still just can’t see,” he grumbled to no one in particular, though he still felt Mikasa’s head on his shoulder telling him she was still there.

“Unfortunately, it’s not quite night yet.”

Eren could feel her lift her head off his shoulder and stretch her arms over her head. He didn’t really hear anything else off in the distance, suggesting everyone else was done with training and went back inside. “How long’s it been?”

“A few hours maybe,” Mikasa said. “The sun is setting now. They’ll probably call us in for dinner soon I’m sure.”

He reached back up to rub his eyes again; there was an itch that almost seemed behind his eyes that wouldn’t go away. “That will be interesting,” Eren snorted. “Hopefully I can remember where my mouth is in relation to my hands and not jab myself with a fork. That’s all I need.”

“I can bring you food to eat in your room if you’d like.”

“I appreciate it but I think that’d cause even more ridicule.” He tried to rub at his eyes harder but the itch was still there. He almost felt like digging his fingers back there just to get it to stop.

“No one’s gonna ridicule you. It’s not like you can help it.”

He was gonna tell her he doubted some people saw it like that but a small bit of light started to lighten the darkness he had been getting used to. He rubbed his eyes again before trying to look once more, this time seeing the very blurry, to the point he could barely tell what he was looking at, yard in front of him. He blinked a few times, hoping it wasn’t just a trick of the light; each time he opened his eyes, he could see a bush better, the tree across from him, the cabin, the mountains. Eren snapped his head over to Mikasa to tell her he could actually see things again but the words wouldn’t come the moment he saw her.

She looked exactly like he remembered her looking like since it really only was only a few days since he hadn’t seen her. Her short black hair was blowing lightly in the wind, the setting sun reflecting against her pale skin, her dark eyes looking off into the distance somewhere. It nearly took his breath away. After all the time they had been together, how did he never notice how beautiful she was?

He felt a sense of peace settle over him; it was nice to be able to see again but it was nice to be able just to see her again, to be able to know without a doubt it was her there next to him.

Mikasa turned to meet his eyes and he watched her forehead furrow. “Is something the matter?”

Eren shook his head. “No, was just thinking.”

“About what?” she asked but her eyes didn’t leave his face. She didn’t look worried anymore and Eren assumed by the way she was watching him that she didn’t think he could see her either. There was something in her eyes that he had never noticed before, and maybe it was always there but he never just stopped and really looked at her to see it. There was a warmth in the way her eyes kept on his face, a sense of peace in her, a sense of adoration he didn’t think anyone would ever look at him of all people with, but she did. It made his breath catch in his throat.

“About why you’re staring at me.” He watched the realization hit her face as red started to tint her cheeks. God, he didn’t even know how much he missed her expressions until they had been gone from him.

“You asshole,” she muttered, though the smile pulling at her lips told him she thought otherwise. It still didn’t stop her from reaching out to try and hit him on the shoulder.

Eren grabbed a hold of her hand before she could though. She glanced at him, looking too relieved to be angry with him for long, as he carefully held her hand in his. “You know, I never tell you enough but thank you for taking care of me again.”

Mikasa looked like she didn’t know what to say to him, red heating up her cheeks again. “You don’t have to thank me for that.”

Maybe it was just because it felt like ages since they had a moment of peace together like this, or maybe coming close to losing things made you value them a little more, but Eren just wanted to pull her close to him, and never let her out of his sight again.

“Hey, you two!” Armin’s voice called from the back door. “Dinner’s ready!”

Eren nearly jumped out of his skin at the voice as he glanced over to Armin. He didn’t say anything else, though he did have that look on his face, that smug one that not many people knew he had. Eren looked back over to Mikasa, who had her eyes down on her hand that Eren was still holding. He pulled his hand away, but not without a small smile when she looked up at him. “Want to help me back inside?”

Mikasa arched an eyebrow. “Why, you can see just fine now.”

“Yeah but they don’t know that.”


	51. This Could Be the End of Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Could Be the End of Everything
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa, & Ymir/Historia  
> Setting: Somewhere between when Eren and Historia are taken and before chapter 61 because I wrote it before even that chapter came out. Its not too irrelevant I think, since we don't really know what happened to Eren and Historia after they were taken and before they went underground.  
> Rating: K+ (Light Language)  
> Words: 2748

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about this when I should have been working on requested prompts but once it was there it wouldn't leave. It's also been months since we've seen Eren and I miss him okay ;-; I really liked that one time Eren and Historia had their talk so I wanted to give them another. I feel like they do have a lot they can relate on especially in regards to Ymir and Mikasa. Also because I wanted to write Historia after Isayama said they were an official pair because it puts a whole new twist on their relationship :3 The title is from "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane.

Eren was only thankful they didn’t tie him up in a coffin again; granted, a damp room in some basement of sorts wasn’t much better but at least he had a bed this time. The small stub of a candle flicked against the walls of the room as Eren stared up at the stone ceiling from his cot. There wasn’t much else to do but lay in bed, pace the room, and wonder when they were going to kill him. It had been days since him and Historia were taken here; it only had to be a matter of time.

He reached up to rub his eyes  wishing he could just sleep the entire day away but he had already slept enough today, not that he even knew what time of the day what it was. He looked down at the door across from him where there was an empty tray sitting there. He felt like a prisoner, which, well, he guessed he was. At least they didn’t lock him in here, but where else could he go? There was a guard by his door and from what he could tell when he was brought down here, there were a lot of guards everywhere else; he’d never make it out alive. Granted, he wasn’t sure he would make it out alive even if he survived. Historia’s room was nearby and he was at least allowed to go see her but she liked to keep to herself.

Eren sighed as he looked back up to the ceiling. A large part of him wanted his friends to come, find them and get them the hell out of here but there was another part that knew even the strongest of their group could be walking into their deaths. He felt a jolt in his chest at the thought. The strongest of his comrades, which would easily be Levi and Mikasa, were probably the only ones who could make it in here alive…if they were still even alive.

Eren shook his head as if trying to keep those thoughts away. The guy they called Kenny had already taunted enough about the fight he had with them already, letting Eren know Kenny had tried to wipe them out.

Tried. Eren took solace in the fact Kenny said tried and not succeeded.

Eren sighed as he rolled over on his side, watching the flame of the candle flicker in the cool, basement air. He wasn’t even sure how long it was since he saw them. Days, definitely, weeks, maybe, but what it really felt like months. He couldn’t even remember the last time he was away from Armin and Mikasa for this long without knowing if they were dead or alive. He supposed he understood how they felt the many times he was taken from them with no idea where he had gone.

Armin was probably okay; he was a lot stronger than he looked. He’d be the one to figure something out, him or Levi. All this was Levi’s plan to begin with though Eren was unsure if this was still part of the plan or not. Jean, Sasha, and Connie probably didn’t go one way or another. They probably wanted to find Eren and Historia, well maybe not Jean so much, but it was different than how Armin and Mikasa must feel about this situation.

Mikasa. She was the one he was worried about the most. She was the one he saw the most whenever he closed his eyes. She was the one whose empty presence made his chest ache. It’s not like he had never been a part from her before but one time he was too busy getting interrogated by the Scouting Legion and he knew where she was. The other time he was too busy trying to find a way to get away from Reiner and Bertholdt and he knew where she was. This time he was stuck in a room with nothing more to do than think to himself and he had no idea where she was. His mind seemed to like to regulate between showing him Mikasa looking back at him, her mouth hidden behind her well-worn scarf and Mikasa laying on the street, not moving anymore.

It only made Eren worry and miss her more.

He sighed and tried to roll over on his back. It was like there was a constant dull ache in his chest that only got worse when he thought about her. He knew it was because he was clearly worried about her, he didn’t need his subconscious to remind him of that. He just…he missed her presence that was always with him, the one that kept him calm. He just missed her.

It was the worst when he was trying to sleep. Images of nightmares flashed through his mind every time he fell asleep; nightmares of the past, of the present, and probably worst was the future where Eren knew it hadn’t happened yet but it didn’t make the terror when he woke up any less. His nightmares were always eased when he woke up knowing Armin was in the room with him, Mikasa just down the hall; Eren didn’t have that luxury here.

Nor did he have the soft voice that would wake him up at night when Mikasa suffered from her own nightmares. It was a habit from when she came to live with him; she trusted him almost instantly, coming to him at night when there were tears streaming down her cheeks. He never minded, he’d always let her stay and it was something that didn’t leave them. Whenever she felt scared or unsafe at night, even in the military, she always found a way to him and he always let her stay, speaking in low tones to her as he tried to keep her calm. He never told her having her with him stopped his nightmares. He never told her a lot of things.

He threw himself on his side again. It was doing him no good thinking about any of this; it’s not like he was in a situation that could change the things he hadn’t done. Yet, that only made him think about it more.

A soft knocking on the door made Eren glance over as the door slowly opened. He knew it had to be Historia, she was the only one who ever knocked.

“Hey,” he said, pushing himself to sit up on the bed. “What’s going on?”

Historia shrugged as she took her spot on the floor. Eren had offered her countless times to sit on the cot but she always refused so he didn’t bother. “Nothing in regards to them.” She gestured to the door. “I haven’t seen any of them all day.”

“Yeah, me too. Guess they decided to leave us alone.”

“I doubt it will last,” she said. “They need us for whatever reason, that’s the only reason we aren’t dead yet.”

“Not even with your family…?” Eren knew it was a bit of a touchy subject but with the way Riess had reacted to Historia when he saw her, he hoped maybe that was a good sign.

She shook her head. “No one’s said anything more to me.”

Eren sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. A fine mess they found themselves in.

“Do you think they’re coming?”

“Who?”

Historia rolled her eyes. “You know who. The people who always come and save you every time.”

“I hope not,” Eren sighed.

“You don’t want them to get us out of here?”

“I don’t want them to kill themselves getting us out of here. No offense, but I don’t think my life is worth that much.”

Historia watched him with those large eyes of her and he knew there was much more on her mind then she ever let on. “You don’t think you’re worth being saved?”

Eren sighed, his hands dropping onto the cot. “I’m tired of people dying for me, Historia. I’m tired of it weighing down on me. Jesus, if they died for me too…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

Historia’s lips twitched. “I take it you don’t mean everyone in our squad. Merely two out of the six.”

 “I’d be upset if anyone in our squad died for me. I wouldn’t want anyone’s death on my hands.”

“But there are still two who would weigh more on you than the others.”

He paused for a moment. “Yeah, you saw through that one.”

“I didn’t see through anything,” Historia shrugged. “We’ve spent almost 4 years together in the same training group and then the same squad. It’s impossible for anyone who was around you not to see how close the three of you are. I figured that’s who you’re trying to protect right now.”

Eren didn’t respond; there wasn’t much else he could say she was right after all. He wanted to see them to make sure they were okay, but not like this, not when they would be walking to their deaths. Mikasa more than Armin because she would come blazing in just to save him. She was the last death he ever wanted on his hands; he wanted her to be safe, he promised himself he was gonna keep her safe and now he had no idea if he was keeping that promise.

“I also take it you’re more worried about Mikasa than Armin,” Historia said.

Eren glanced over at her, feeling a lump rising in his throat. “What would make you say that. You very well know Mikasa can take care of herself.”

“Your face gives you away,” she said. “I know the look in your eyes.”

“How? I could be thinking about anything.”

“Because I know what it feels like to be in love, I know what it looks like.” She spoke like it was no big deal but Eren could hear the inflection in her voice as she spoke. “I used to see the same look in your eyes looking back at me.”

It took Eren a moment to remember Ymir; it seemed like a time ages ago when it really wasn’t. Ymir left the day Eren pulled Mikasa out of the fields and it was hard to forget the way Historia had begged to go after Ymir, to bring her back. Historia reminded him so much of Mikasa in that moment. The thought along with Historia’s implications had Eren feeling heat rising up to his cheeks.

“Of course I love her, she’d one of my best friends,” he muttered, looking away from Historia’s eyes.

“So tell me, do you have regrets?”

Eren glanced back over to her; this was probably the most talkative she had been with him in a while. “About what?”

“If we were taken out of here and told they were going to kill us, would you have regrets?”

“Of course,” he snorted, it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it every single day he had been in here. “I’d regret not taking out the damn titans from this world, not being able to take Armin to the ocean, not being able to give Mikasa an actual home, not being able to save the people I care about.” He sighed letting his body fall back against the cot before he looked back over to Historia. “You?”

She shrugged. “Not really.”

“You’re kidding me right. Everyone has regrets.”

“I’d be upset that I’d die feeling angry at Ymir, and that I wouldn’t get to see her again but I’d also die knowing full well she knew I loved her. That’d be enough for me.”

Eren felt his chest ache at her words. Would he regret never telling the people he cared about that they were loved? Armin would know, Armin always knew everything. Mikasa’d…Mikasa’d know that he…He racked his brain for something that would’ve let Mikasa know how much he cared about her, how much he never wanted to live his life without her with him. Mikasa’d know that he got frustrated with her, that he yelled at her, that he pushed her away. He winced as the memories flashed in his mind. It wasn’t because he didn’t care, it was just because he wanted to be the one looking after her, to protect her, to keep her safe but…did she even know that? The fields…the fields were close. He promised they’d always be together, and he carried her out using all his will power to make sure she was safe. It still wasn’t enough, that didn’t even close to showing her how much he cared about her, after all the years they had been together, how much he loved her.

“Dammit,” he muttered, reaching his hands over his face.

“I’m not saying we’re gonna die here. I highly doubt Levi was gonna let us get captured and killed; they’re probably trying to find us as we speak.”

Eren pulled his hands down looking back to the blonde haired girl on the floor; she was still watching him but her face didn’t betray any emotions. The time they were stuck together they talked before, this was nothing new, but they normally didn’t talk about _this._ Historia barely even mentioned Ymir let alone his own relationship with Mikasa. “Where did this come from?” he muttered. “Why do you care if I have regrets?”

“I don’t,” she said simply. “But I also see the way Mikasa has always looked at you, and the way I’m pretty sure you don’t know you look at her. This world is shit, everyone deserves to have happiness where they can find it before it’s too late.” She pushed herself up to her feet. “And I hope for your sake it’s not too late.” Historia waved before she headed back out the door, her footsteps echoing down the hall.

Eren sighed as he rolled over on the cot, the candle stub on the small table almost gone. Leave it to Historia to bring to light the fact he could very well die with Mikasa probably thoroughly convinced at this point that he didn’t care about her when it was the complete opposite. He supposed he shouldn’t be mad at Historia, she wasn’t the one who treated Mikasa like shit for all these years.

He groaned rolling back onto his back, his eyes staring up at the ceiling again. He should feel that empty ache in his chest, the helpless feeling of being stuck here when he just wanted to go and fix the mistakes he had made but he didn’t.  Instead there was an anxious feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach, one that made him sit up on his cot. He needed to do something; he couldn’t just sit here and wait for them to kill him. He had to do something, anything, he needed to get back. He refused to die when Mikasa was out there looking for him, and he knew she was, she always would. Not when there was so much unsaid, so much he couldn’t let die with him without Mikasa ever knowing. After everything she did for him, after all the shit she went through with him and for him. She deserved at the least to understand how much she was loved, and by no one more than him. He just, he had to see her face again, to have her close to him.

Eren threw his legs over the edge of the cot about to push himself up; he had no idea where he was going but sitting around wasn’t an option anymore. He paused before he stood up the realization of just why Historia had come to talk to him hitting him. He smiled as he shook his head slightly; at least she knew what would motivate him to get something done.

He stood up and walked to the door, popping his head out to look at the guard. “Can you get your boss to come talk to me. I’m sure I have information he’d love to hear.”

The guard eyed him but gestured for the other guard at the top of the stairs to leave. Eren closed the door and went back to the cot. He sat down trying to remember all the different types of interrogation tactics Levi had tried to instill in him before this whole plan took place.

First things first, he had to figure out why the hell they were here.


	52. I Could Offer You a Warm Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Could Offer You a Warm Embrace
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Chapter 60 because I need Eren to come back; this was also written before Chapter 61 was released. Companion piece to This Could Be the End of Everything. This one is completely irrelevant since I wrote it months ago but whatever its cute so I don't care.  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 4223

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from Lastchaos Darknoman who asked for Eren trying to show affection to Mikasa because he has no idea how to tell her how he feels and Armin having to intervene because Mikasa just doesn’t understand why he’s acting that way. Because I write so many stories in that damn cabin I decided to make this a companion piece to the previous chapter. I apologize if chapter 61+ also makes this whole chapter irrelevant. I was just too impatient to wait the week for it to come out. The title is from “Make You Feel My Love” by Adele; a song I’ve used before but it fits them pretty damn well.

Peace wasn’t something that would ever last long in this world, but for now Mikasa was okay with the quiet building they had chosen to hide in; they wouldn’t be in hiding for much longer so she might as well make the most of it. Mikasa found a seat on one of the old couches in the front room of the house they had found abandoned in the woods. She used the term house lightly, this place was more like a mansion than anything; she didn’t think she ever saw a home so big. It only reminded her how close they were getting to their destination: the inner most wall.

It also meant Levi insisted on cleaning every inch of it. Mikasa was pretty sure even training didn’t make her as exhausted as scrubbing down what seemed like endless floors. Keeping a cabin up to his standards was bad enough let alone a place that could fit two of those cabins. She sunk down a little bit more in the couch trying to find a comfortable position for her aching body; at least they managed to get him happy, as happy as Levi can get, in one day so he wouldn’t make them do this all again tomorrow. So she hoped at least. Hanji came in a few hours ago and Mikasa hadn’t seen her or Levi since; she figured they had a lot of planning to do for the next steps.

She opened up one of the windows letting the cool night air blow through the room. Everyone else found rooms and passed out from exhaustion already but Mikasa couldn’t rest her mind; there was too much going on. They had barely made it out alive from the last mission, and she wasn’t sure what was gonna become of any of them once they hit Wall Sina. She reached up to rub her eyes; she was exhausted but only dreams of failure filled her mind. It was hard to sleep when you kept watching the people you love die in front of your eyes. Her first instinct when she woke up was to go find Eren, like she did countless times but they only just got Historia and Eren back from the Military Police and then they had to run until they reached a safe place and then Levi made them clean all day long. Eren was probably more exhausted then all of them; she didn’t want to bother him.

The moonlight spilled out onto the wooden floors, illuminating the otherwise darkened room. It was part of the truth at least. It wasn’t like Eren had never been taken from her before, it wasn’t like he never ran off before but this time it was different. She wanted to go to him, and even found herself outside his door but what if something had changed? What if he really didn’t want her around again? She was pretty sure after all they went through together that Eren wouldn’t treat her like that, especially not after the way he had been treating her since they joined Levi’s squad but it didn’t stop the fear the filled her body as she held on to the doorknob to his room. For the first time, she had no idea how to act around him.

She sighed and shook her head, trying to shake those thoughts from her mind. They were running around and fighting for so long now without a break, it was surreal for her to just sit down and not have to worry about being killed at any second; for tonight at least. Mikasa sighed as she propped her head up the arm rest of the couch, her eyes watching the trees outside blowing in the wind. Maybe she should just try to go back to sleep, there were enough rooms in this place that she even got a room by herself for once but it still didn’t make her want to go back to sleep; she wasn’t sure there was much that would.

“Hey, what’re you doing awake?”

Mikasa jumped at the sudden voice, turning her head around to the staircase behind it. It wasn’t really the fact someone was there that made her jump, it was who was there. She easily saw Eren making his way across the floor, his bare feet making soft sounds against the wood as he did. He didn’t look much better than her, tired eyes that wouldn’t get any rest no matter how hard they tried.

“Just…couldn’t sleep,” she said, moving her feet over on the couch as he took a seat next to her.

“Yeah, me too,” he said as his eyes met hers.

Mikasa couldn’t even remember the last time she was just with him, long before Levi’s plan, long before it went wrong. Despite what she knew was coming for all of them, she couldn’t stop her heart from skipping a beat; she missed him so much.

“Was it nightmares?” Eren asked.

Mikasa nodded, feeling like it was something that didn’t need to be said. They only grew when he wasn’t there, they only got worse but she couldn’t tell him that. Eren already bore too much guilt for things that were not his fault.

His forehead furrowed. “Why didn’t you come get me then?”

She stared at him for a moment, a bit unsure what to say. She always went to him when she couldn’t sleep, but it wasn’t something they ever really talked about. They would fall asleep and Mikasa would wake up and leave before the other boys woke up, or worse Levi woke up. For as long as Mikasa could remember though, it was just something that happened, something they were used to but not something they talked about.

“I didn’t want to wake you up when you were already exhausted.” It was the truth after all.

Eren shrugged. “I was but it didn’t help me sleep at all.” A smile pulled at his lips. “Don’t tell me just cause I’ve been gone for a little bit you’ve gotten shy around me.”

Mikasa tried to make sure he didn’t hear her breath hitching in her throat. It was what she was feeling; something very unknown to her when it came to the boy she knew since she was nine years old. “No,” she lied. “I just wanted you to be able to sleep.”

“Well, I’m not asleep so c’mere.” Eren opened one of his arms out towards her gesturing for her to come closer.

She eyed him at first; even the way Eren was acting after he was kidnapped by Reiner and Bertholdt wasn’t quite like this. Still, it was clear from the look on his face he wasn’t letting it go until she moved across the couch towards him. She pushed herself off the armrest and slowly moved across the couch till she was on the cushion next to his.

Which apparently wasn’t what he had wanted. Eren reached his already open arm around her back, his hand gripping onto her waist; the other arm dipped under her legs, pulling him onto his lap in one swift movement. Mikasa felt the heat rushing to her face as she felt his warm body all around her, one hand staying on her waist and the other draping over the thin material of her sleeping pants on her legs. She couldn’t even meet his eyes if she wanted to, not with the way she knew her face was probably as red as the scarf around her neck, the way her heart was pounding in her chest. She tried to open her mouth to say something but nothing would come out.

Eren didn’t seem to notice the way her body had tensed up or if he did he didn’t say anything. He just placed his chin over her head, pushing gently until Mikasa was resting her head against his shoulder; even through her pulse racing in her ears she heard Eren’s own increased heart rate pounding against his chest.

“I was worried about you, you know,” Eren said in a tone lower than his own natural tone, his voice breathy.

“Why me,” she said trying to keep an even voice, though she heard herself wavering.

Eren chuckled causing vibrations from his chest to send chills down Mikasa’s spine. “Why not you? You always worry about me, what makes you think I never worry about you?”

Mikasa shrugged, unsure that if she spoke if anything would come out.

He leaned his head down, placing it against hers as he inhaled with a shaky breath. “I missed you.”

Mikasa had to swallow the lump in her throat to be able to speak again, her eyes closing to try and stop her heart from feeling like it was gonna pound out of her chest. “I missed you too.”

He didn’t say anything else and Mikasa wasn’t even sure what else to say to him. Instead she just kept her eyes closed; one hand tentatively reaching up to his chest where his heart was still racing under her touch. A warmth spread through her body, one she hadn’t felt since the moment he left her sight. He smelt like Eren, like comfort, like home and her heart started to slow down, her breath started to get even. The world was a little less bleak again, Eren was back with her.

She wasn’t even sure when she fell asleep in his arms but when her eyes fluttered open from the bright light on her face she wasn’t on the couch anymore. Mikasa sat up in the bed, trying to block her eyes from the sunlight falling in from the nearby window. It didn’t look like the room she was staying in. She rubbed her eyes and tried to look around again, but it was still unfamiliar.

It wasn’t until her mind rushed back to the previous night that her hands flew over her mouth. It was Eren’s room not hers. She glanced back down to the bed but she was alone, still in her sleeping clothes from the night. She almost wondered if it was a dream, the way he talked to her, the way he held onto her but then she wasn’t quite sure why she was here and not her own room.

Mikasa threw her legs over the side of the bed and walked towards the door. She carefully opened it as if not to make any noise and slipped out into the hallway; she heard talking downstairs but not upstairs. She walked the short distance to her own room to change into her shirt and skirt, Levi hated sleeping clothes being worn anywhere but to bed, before she carefully started back downstairs.

Would Eren even remember what he said to her, the way he had to have known he made her feel? Was it just another case of finding comfort for the nightmares and back to everything as normal during the morning? Her heart was already racing just from walking down the stairs and into the large kitchen off to the side of the main room where she heard everyone talking. How was she supposed to act when she saw him?

She pushed open the door and saw her comrades, save for Levi and Hanji, sitting around the table eating whatever little food had been prepared. No one seemed to notice her as she slipped in the room, everyone too busy talking or eating. Eren was sitting next to Armin, talking to him about something but she couldn’t hear over Connie and Sasha. Mikasa felt her cheeks getting hot just looking at him and she tried to just clear her mind and try to get a hold of herself before anyone noticed her.

Eren looked up from his plate and right up at her. A wide grin pulled at his lips as he caught her eyes and it was nearly impossible not to smile back; he had always been infectious. “Good morning,” he said, nodding over to the empty seat next to him.

The others looked up to watch her take the short walk from the kitchen door to the table but Mikasa tried not to pay them any mind for fear of losing the composure she was trying desperately to keep. It was getting more and more difficult with the way Eren was still looking at her. She pulled the seat out to sit down.

“Good morning, Mikasa,” Armin waved, leaning slightly around Eren to see her better.

“Did you sleep okay?” Eren moved to block her view of Armin only causing the blond boy to laugh but still hit Eren on the shoulder.

“Ah, yeah,” she said, reaching up to anxiously brush some hair from her face as Eren’s gaze refused to leave her.

“Is everything okay? You slept in a lot later than normal.”

Mikasa turned her head to see Jean sitting a few seats down, eyeing her slightly. “Yeah, everything is fine. I was just tired.”

“You’re just normally the first one up, not the last one up.” Jean clearly wasn’t giving up on the subject, a mix of concern and suspicion on his face.

“It’s just been a long few weeks. It was nice to sleep in without worrying,” she said hoping he would stop pressing the subject; last night was not something she wanted to talk about with them in general let alone the breakfast table.

“Sorry I didn’t wake you up earlier,” Eren said, bringing her attention back to him. “You were just still out cold when I woke up so I figured since Hanji came in last night, her and Levi would still be talking or working things out or whatever.” He rolled his eyes as he passed her a loaf of bread. “That it would be okay for you to get more sleep.”

“Why is it your decision if she wakes up or not?” Jean’s voice had some bite to it, clearly directed at Eren. Mikasa wasn’t even sure if this was about her, or that Jean was trying to catch up on arguing with Eren.

The rest of the table was quiet; Historia didn’t seem to be paying attention but Connie and Sasha were staring directly at them, Armin watching from his own spot.

Eren shrugged. “It’s not.” His voice was nonchalant about the whole thing, not getting bothered by Jean’s tone at all which was something that was new to Mikasa at least. “I was just with her so I was letting her know why I left without waking her up too.”

Mikasa broke her loaf of bread in half as she stared up at Eren with wide eyes. What the hell was going on with him? He barely ever talked to her about their nights together, let alone to everyone at the table. Between last night and this morning, for the first time since she knew him she had no idea what was going on in his head.

Someone choked down near the end of the table, presumably Jean, where Sasha couldn’t cover her gasp fast enough with her hands.

Eren still didn’t seem bothered but Mikasa saw splotches of red showing up on his cheeks. “What are you all making a big deal about? We’ve done it since we were kids, it’s nothing new.”

“Are you kidding me?” Connie said. “How do you get away with _that?”_

“We aren’t _sleeping_ together, you moron.” Eren threw some of his bread across the table at him, though his voice was starting to waver. “It’s comfort. You all should know what nightmares feel like.” He glanced over at Armin who was trying to look anywhere else, his teeth trying to bite away his smile. “A little help here.”

Armin looked over to him, arching an eyebrow. “Don’t drag me into the hole you’re digging for yourself.”

“I don’t think…” Historia started, causing Mikasa nearly to jump out of her seat. She couldn’t even believe this was going on around her; her face felt like it was on fire and all she wanted to do was sink under the table or run away, but she couldn’t even more. “It’s not the action they are surprised about, but the people involved.”

“Why,” Eren snorted. “It’s just me and Mikasa, we’ve always been close.”

“It’s just that,” Sasha spoke, her hands moving from over her mouth. “We always knew Mikasa’s feelings for you, Eren, its…ah…a little hard not to see but we never really knew about you…”

“About me? What are you…” Realization seemed to dawn on his face as he turned from confused to flustered. “Oh, I…uh…me? You mean like….I…um…”

Mikasa slid her chair against the wooden floor as she pushed herself to her feet. She didn’t even turn around as she left the kitchen; she couldn’t take it anymore and she didn’t want to hear it. She headed out the front door and down the steps to the yard that lead to the vast woods around them. She had no idea where she was going but she couldn’t be in there anymore.

She sank down to her knees under the shade of a nearby tree. All of them, they always knew about her. Mikasa supposed she wasn’t really all that subtle when it came to Eren but she didn’t think _everyone_ knew how she felt about him. Then the way he could just talk about something that was so special to her, her time she got with him when no one else was awake to know, just made her feel all the more stupid when the tears started to sting her eyes.

She couldn’t bear to sit there and listen to his response when he found out that she had feelings for him. She didn’t even get to tell him herself, Sasha did. Mikasa wiped her eyes trying to get the tears to stop but she just felt so stupid, just a dumb little girl who had been in love with her best friend for far too long. To hear him say he didn’t feel the same way…she knew she wouldn’t be able to take it. It was enough to know he didn’t, let alone to hear it confirmed.

“This is what happens when we spend too much time with the same people.”

Mikasa tried to laugh as she looked over at Armin who had sat down next to her; it didn’t work.

Armin placed his hand on her back, rubbing it as he looked over to her. “Sometimes we deal so much with the wars going on around us, we forget how it feels to actually act our age. Don’t feel embarrassed over how you acted; I’m pretty sure anyone would have in your position.”

“I just don’t understand,” she said, using the sleeve of her shirt to wipe her eyes.

“How everyone knew how you felt about Eren? No offense, Mikasa, but you were never really that good at hiding it. Everyone was always just too afraid to ask you about it in case you threw them into a wall or something.”

Mikasa reached out to hit him in the stomach but she could feel a small smile pulling at her lips. “No, I understand that, okay. I just meant with Eren, he’s been acting so strange since he came back. I don’t know what’s going on with him. At all.”

“People always think they know Eren,” Armin said, looking back over the forest. “They think they understand what makes him tick, what motivates him. We know a little better, but I don’t even think Eren knows what goes on with him most all the time. This time however, I think he’s very aware.”

“What do you mean?”

Armin smiled as he looked back over to her. “It must be hard for you to see, with the way Eren’s treated you in the past. He changed the last time he was taken, and he changed this time too. I bet you didn’t even notice yesterday when he went out of his way to make sure he was always assigned cleaning somewhere near you, the way he refused to take his eyes off you all day. He missed you, more than he ever has before I’d bet.”

Mikasa’s forehead was furrowed as she listened to him. No…she would have noticed that…he wouldn’t have…

“You did see it this morning though. He only had eyes for you. Just like he always has, but I think he finally realized it.”

Mikasa could feel her cheeks heating up at Armin’s words; but that’s all they were just his words. “I appreciate it Armin, but you heard him in there when Sasha basically asked him how he felt about me.”

“Yes, you’re right I did but I don’t think you did. What I heard was Eren trying to get him out of the situation because much like you, I don’t think that’s how he wanted you to find out.”

Mikasa opened her mouth to disagree but Armin held his finger up.

“And, you ran out, which again I don’t blame you for, but because you ran out, you didn’t see him running after you.”

“Then where is he now.” Mikasa didn’t mean to get snippy with Armin but he was being ridiculous; he should know better than anyone how Eren felt about her was not how she felt about him.

Armin turned his head, pointing back towards the house. “Right there.”

Mikasa turned around to see Eren sitting on the steps of the house. He wasn’t looking over at them, just down at the ground. Her breath hitched in her throat.

Armin pushed himself up to his feet. “I had to get him to stay there so I could come talk some sense into you first.” He looked back down at her, his warm smile on his lips. “Just because you’ve convinced yourself of something for so long, Mikasa, doesn’t mean it’s true.”

She watched him walk away, back towards the house. Eren must’ve seen him coming because he jumped up to his feet. Mikasa looked back towards the woods, her heart already racing in her chest just knowing he was coming over to her. She couldn’t even look at him when she felt him sit down next to her; she could see him looking at her out of the corner of her eyes though.

“We’ve all been put in life threatening situations for years now,” Eren said, his eyes looking out towards the woods. “Though it seems I end up in them more often. This past time was different though.”

Mikasa looked over at him causing him to glance at her before looking ahead again.

“I wasn’t in immediate danger for the most part but I knew it very well could be coming at any moment. It gave me time to think, and…and all I could think about was you. How worried I was about you, how much I missed you just being there with me, how much I just wanted to see your face, how much I would regret never letting you know how important you are to me. How much…” He turned to look at her. “How much I just love you. I couldn’t leave you without you know how much you mean to me, because…” He hesitated, like he was having trouble finding the right words. Eren reached up to brush some of her hair out of her face. “You of all people deserve to know how much you are loved.”

Mikasa stared at him unsure of what to say or what to do. She never thought…she never even imagined… “Is that why you’ve been acting so strange?”

“Strange?” Eren snorted, a smile pulling at his lips. “I was trying to show you how much I cared about you, how happy I was to be back with you, but I guess that didn’t really work did it?”

She tried to cover her mouth to hide her laugh but judging by the way Eren was laughing too she didn’t succeed. “You don’t have to act any different,” Mikasa said, slapping her hand against his arm. “I love you the way you are.” She realized what she had said too late.

Eren didn’t seem to mind though; he took a hold of her hand that was still lingering on his arm. His other hand reached up to the back of her neck pulling her closer to him. Mikasa barely heard anything aside from the pulse beating in her ears, but when his lips met hers she couldn’t think of anything else but the heat that filled her stomach, the way her hands reached up around his neck to pull herself closer, his hand reaching around her waist, his mouth moving with hers.

Eren pulled away from her, just enough to see her face; his cheeks were red, his breath panting slightly but Mikasa knew she probably looked the same. He didn’t say anything and neither did she, nothing needed to be said that hadn’t been already. Tomorrow they’d be leaving for the innermost gate, into the belly of the beast so to speak, but right now, all that mattered was today and she knew Eren felt the same.

She leaned in to press her lips against his again, her grip on him tightening as he kissed her back.


	53. It's Beginning to Look

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Beginning to Look
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Hey remember that time they all lived in a cabin together? Cause I always will.  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 2226

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An anon on tumblr requested a holiday fic with lots of fluff and cuddling to help get in the holiday mood. I was more than happy to oblige! I have some super holiday fics for them coming up in December but here’s an early holiday one to start with :3 I’m pretty sure most everyone knows what song the title is referencing but in case the full line is “Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas” and it sure is here in Ohio where its full of cold and snow. I think you can understand why I went this route for the story right now haha

If Eren thought it got cold in Shiganshina in the winter, the mountains were nothing in comparison. Even in the bedroom he shared with three other bodies, under a blanket, his long sleeved shirt and long pants, and his already naturally higher body temperature Eren thought his limbs were going to freeze off over night. He arched his neck to look up at the one window in the room; the moon high in the sky and snow still piling up on the windowsill outside. At this point, Eren didn’t even know if they could leave the cabin if they needed to just because of the amount of snow that had been falling all day.

He groaned and tried to roll over in his bed, pulling his blanket tighter around him. Everyone else looked asleep if not a bit cold too. Armin’s side was rising and falling, the blanket completely over his head and it looked like Connie had crawled into Jean’s bed, his body bundled up in a blanket next to Jean.

This was ridiculous; there had to be a better way to keep warm than this. Eren pulled his blanket over his shoulders as he sat up in bed. He placed one barefoot down on the freezing wooden floor before the other and pushed himself to his feet. Quickly but quietly he walked to the door and slipped outside. It wasn’t any better out in the hallway but maybe downstairs it would be a little better; Eren didn’t have much hope but it couldn’t be any worse than feeling like his toes were gonna fall off in his room.

Before he reached the stairs he took a quick turn down the other side of the hallway and popped his head in the first door by the stairs. Sasha’s bed was empty but Eren easily found her as another bundled lump in Mikasa’s bed. She seemed to be okay, the blanket tucked all around her, and her scarf pulled up to her ears. He shut the door quietly and continued back downstairs; at least that old thing still came in handy.

Downstairs wasn’t _much_ better but it was a little less biting. There wasn’t much to offer warmth, save for the couch and maybe the fireplace. Eren had to double take at the old fireplace completely forgetting it was there. He nearly ran to it, falling to his knees on the stone that surrounded the small area. Levi would probably murder him, the smoke from a fire in the night air probably a shining beacon to where they were but if anyone was out there right now looking for them? They’d probably freeze to death before they could ever get here.

There wasn’t any wood and kindling in but Eren vaguely remembered Sasha bringing some in to light the stove in the kitchen. His feet were starting to go numb again walking against the cold floor but it was worth it when he found plenty of wood to help build a fire, even matches Levi brought with their supplies. Eren heaved everything back in to the fireplace, remembering all the times he used to set the fire in his own house on the cold nights.

“Levi might kill you if he wakes up,” a voice Eren would know anywhere called from behind him.

He turned his head to see Mikasa standing near the couch in just her sleep clothes and her scarf; she had to be even colder than he was.

“It’ll be worth it to survive the night without frost bite.” Eren tossed the flickering match into the fireplace, and poked at the logs until there was warm heat defrosting his body. “Much better,” he sighed before turned over to Mikasa and gestured for her to come over. “C’mon, I thought you were asleep.”

Mikasa pushed the couch till it was nearly touching the stone of the fireplace and took a seat, holding her hands out to let the heat run over her too. “I wasn’t. I saw you when you were closing the door, so I thought I’d come see what you were up to.”

Eren sat down on the couch next to her, his blanket still around his shoulders, though the flickering fire was helping significantly. “There was no way I was going to fall asleep freezing like that. I have no idea how the others managed it.”

“I nodded off and woke up with Sasha curled up next to me,” she laughed lightly, though Eren could see a shiver go down her spine.

Eren propped his leg up behind her and opened his blanket, gesturing for her to come closer. She seemed to hesitate for a moment as she watched him, pulling her scarf over her nose. “Get over here, it’s not like it’s the first time we started a fire in the middle of the night to stay warm.”

Despite the scarf over her mouth, Eren still saw a smile pulling on her lips in her eyes. She slowly slid over until her back was against his chest, and her legs pulled up onto the couch. He curled his other leg in front of her, and draped his arms and the blanket over both their bodies.

“Jesus, you’re freezing.” It wasn’t an understatement; Eren felt her cold skin through her clothes and through his. Her let go of the blanket, the thick fabric staying over them as he moved to place his hands over her arms, rubbing to get some warmth back in her. “How were you even surviving up there?”

She shrugged though her head fell back against his shoulder. “I just was trying not to think about it.”

“Well, clearly it wasn’t working.” He moved to take one of her hands in his, using his own body heat to get the ice cold feeling out of her fingers.

“We did used to do this, didn’t we,” she said, her voice tainted with a bit of nostalgia that brought a small smile to his face.

“Yeah, because my mom and dad were ice creatures who never got cold, leaving us to freeze in our rooms.” God, it seemed like ages ago that he would go get Mikasa from her room and drag her down the stairs to start a fire in the fire place. “We’d never make it back upstairs though. My mom always woke us up in the morning still asleep in front of the fireplace.” He heard her laugh lightly when he moved to take her other hand in his.

“She’d always try to be angry that we started a fire without supervision, but she’d always just give up when you said it was just because we were cold.”

Eren snorted. “It was worse when they would put the Christmas tree near the fireplace, and we almost caught the tree on fire one night.”

“We? I’m pretty sure that was just you.”

Eren jabbed her in the stomach with his elbow making her laugh aloud this time. If it had been a long time since they used to stay warm by the fire together it seemed like even longer since he heard her laugh. “I wonder what month it even is now, I feel like I’ve completely lost track of time.”

“It’s late November, early December,” Mikasa said, her eyes on the fire in front of them. “I’ve been vaguely keeping track but it’s hard to say exactly.”

Eren dropped her other hand feeling satisfied that she was a bit warmer against him now. He wasn’t exactly sure where to put his hands now. He didn’t think he ever really thought about it when they were kids, cause they were kids but they definitely weren’t anymore and Eren was becoming increasingly aware of that by the second.

He always thought Mikasa was beautiful and anyone who thought otherwise must’ve been a moron. It wasn’t until he realized other people, especially other guys, thought she was too that he knew he had a problem. Eren always thought he’d lose her, to someone who treated her better than he ever had, treated her the way she deserved, but she was still here like she always was. He placed his hands tentatively on her waist, unsure if that was okay. She didn’t seem to mind too much though causing him to wrap his arms around her, pulling her back against him while he leaned in to place his chin on her shoulder.

He let out a small sigh as the particular type of comfort that only Mikasa brought him washed over his body. “I wonder if it’s close to Christmas at all.”

“Probably still a little bit away,” she said, though Eren could hear a slight hitch in her breath. “But it’s the right season at least.”

“Think Levi will let us have a Christmas tree here?”

Mikasa laughed again. “I doubt it.”

Eren couldn’t even remember the last time they had a Christmas tree; maybe when the three of them were working in the fields before they joined the military. Armin set one up to try and celebrate Christmas, but no one really felt any holiday spirit. Ever since then, it just never seemed important.

Now, he didn’t even know if they’d live to see the next Christmas.

“How would you celebrate Christmas?” Eren asked, glancing over to Mikasa. “If, you know, we actually could.”

“Oh, um.” She seemed surprised by his question. “I dunno, I guess something small with you and Armin. A Christmas tree of course, decorations, and presents.”

“What would you get us?”

She eyed him, but there was a smile pulling at her lips. “I don’t know, something the both of you liked.”

“And what would you want?”

Mikasa looked back over the fireplace for a moment before she looked back to him. “I would’ve already been given what I wanted.”

Eren was gonna ask what that was, but he realized he didn’t need to. This was Mikasa, the one who never wanted to join the military, who would’ve been happy finding some little house to live in somewhere, the one who wanted a home, a family most in this world. He still felt the constant guilt of being the reason she was here, and for being the one who caused her pain more than any injury from a Titan ever could.

“One day, we’ll have a Christmas like that.” He wasn’t sure it was something he could promise, or even something he knew would happen, but if anything, after all of this was said in done, she deserved even the smallest of her wishes.

She leaned her head back against him again, her hands falling over his. The fire was still blazing in front of them, sending warm waves over heat all over the blanket and Eren’s face; the thoughts of shivering up in his bed long forgotten. His eyes were starting to get heavy, his sleepless night catching up to him under the warmth of the fire and comfort of the girl sitting in front of him.

Eren wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but he knew when he was being woken up.  He blinked his eyes open, the flickering fire still burning in front of him, Mikasa’s warm body still bundled next to him; he half expected to see his mom looking over them but he knew that was a dream from another time.

“You should probably go upstairs before Levi gets up,” Hanji said, kneeling in front of the couch. “I’ll take the blame for the fire, it was smart though. The cabin feels a bit warmer all over now.”

Eren yawned with a nod before reaching underneath Mikasa’s body to pick the still sound asleep girl up with him.

“You got her okay?” Hanji asked standing up with him.

“Always.”

It was still dark as he carefully carried her up the steps, but it was clear sunrise was coming up soon. At least Hanji was right, the floor wasn’t quite as cold, the upstairs hall not quite as drafty. He nudged open the girl’s door, both beds empty as opposed to the first time he went up there. Sasha must have gotten up or the day or went to huddle in the boy’s room once Mikasa was gone.

Eren placed Mikasa down on her bed still tangled up in his blanket and still sound asleep. Eren couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips when he looked down at her; it wasn’t often he saw her at such peace. He reached down to bush her bangs out of her face and turned to leave but her hand caught his before he could.

When he looked back, her eyes were still closed, every other sign of her being asleep, it was just her hand holding onto his. Well, the boy’s room was probably more than a little full right now. He pulled back his blanket away from her and laid down in the bed, tossing the still warm covers over him too. She curled into him just like she used to then they were much smaller than they were now; some things never change.

He rested his head against hers, his eyes shutting to get a little bit more sleep before Levi woke them all up. “In case the day comes and goes,” he murmured into her hair. “Merry Christmas, Mikasa.”


	54. I May Have Failed But I Have Loved You From the Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I May Have Failed But I Have Loved You From the Start
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Right after the end of chapter 63 because I’m too impatient for another month of Eren being chained up. Give that poor boy his moment already.  
> Words: 2134  
> Rating: T (Language)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had this idea bouncing around for a while now where Kenny used Mikasa to make Eren do whatever it was he wanted knowing that she’s a weakness of his ala that fabulous heart wrenching scene in FMAB. I know nothing like this will probably ever happen but I don’t care I always see Mikasa as Eren’s weakness. He’s so head strong and rash (though he’s been a lot calmer lately) and runs head first into everything but he still gets very defensive of her and if she was used against him I think it would work all too well. Also I just want them reunited okay. The title is from my favorite line in “Fall for You” by Secondhand Serenade because that whole song is just Eren, and that line in particular.

Eren saw what was going on in front of his eyes, he knew because he saw it before. Flashes of memories kept rushing to his mind, ones that had been long forgotten or long repressed. The one that kept coming back was his father, kneeling in front of him, a syringe in one hand and Eren’s arm in the other; just like the syringe Rod Reiss was holding out to Historia.

This was different though, there was no fear in Historia’s eyes like there were in Eren’s and there were no tears in Rod Reiss’ eyes like there was in Eren’s father’s. Eren felt his body tense up against the chains that were holding him. With the way Historia was looking at him and Reiss holding that syringe in his hands, there was no way this was gonna end well. If Eren stayed chained to this...whatever it was he was going to be the next one to get eaten.

His heart clenched as memories of his younger self crying over his dad’s glasses filled his head again. He tried to shake it out; he couldn’t think about that right now, he had to keep fighting. He pulled at the chains, hearing them rattle but not budge. Historia and Reiss didn’t seem to mind, too focused on the plan that Eren was now convinced Reiss had manipulated Historia into.

Eren closed his eyes and tried to pull at the chains holding his arms. They were secured tightly into the wall, barely even budging. No, that wasn’t good enough. He was running out of time. His father’s voice echoed in his mind, telling him to avenge the people who killed his mother; Eren felt a tremor go through his body. Levi’s voice came next, every choice had consequences whether good or bad he’d never now until it was done. Armin and his tales of the sea, his hopeful eyes as he read; Sasha and Connie bickering over something silly, Jean telling Eren he wondered if Eren was worth all the lives that were lost, Petra begging him to trust them, his mom’s laughter. He felt his hands straining against the chains, pulling tighter as faces flashed past his mind, words lingered on his ears. He almost saw Mikasa’s face in front of him, the one person he couldn’t bear to think of this whole time he was chained up. He knew how upset she must be, how worried and he hated putting her through that. He heard her words too, telling him how much he meant to her, how much he has always meant to her. His own voiced echoed in his ears, telling her they’d always be together.

Eren’s whole body shook with anger that was swelling up in him. How dare they try and stop him from finishing what he started out to do. How dare they try and take him away from the people who needed him most, the few people in the world he loved. He refused to stand for that, he refused to lay down without a fight. His cry was muffled by the gag but the chains falling to the floor seemed to get Historia and Reiss’ attention, stopping whatever he was about to do with her.

Eren stood up, his hands steaming as they started to heal from being ripped out of the metal bindings and the chains around his waist falling to his feet. He ripped the gag from his mouth, tossing it away but leaving his hand by his mouth. “I wouldn’t if I were you.”

Reiss looked surprised, like he didn’t think Eren had it in him, whereas Historia just looked even angrier, like she was gonna take that syringe and jab it in her arm herself.  Eren couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal when he looked in her eyes; after everything they had gone through together, she was gonna pick a few nice words from a man who abandoned her? Granted, Eren couldn’t be too hard on her, his father had killed the one family member Historia loved. Eren understood that loss.

“No, boy, I wouldn’t do _that_ if I were you.”

Eren would know Kenny’s voice anywhere by now, the man who mocked about fighting Levi and the rest of Eren’s squad but wouldn’t tell him if they were dead or alive. Alive, Eren knew they were alive, they had to be. Sure enough, the man was walking into the room, dragging someone behind him.

“I won’t if Reiss steps away from Historia with that syringe, but if you or he gets any closer I will,” Eren said, standing firm from his place on the alter.

Kenny let out a laugh that only made Eren feel a surge of anger. If he shifted right now he could just take Historia out of here himself; she’d probably be mad but maybe Levi could talk some sense in her. Eren brought his hand closer to his mouth, to threaten them.

“You’re in no place to negotiate, boy.” Kenny tossed the person he was holding forward, the body falling off to the side of Reiss and Historia.

Eren almost felt the color drain from his face as fear made his stomach clench. He would always be able to recognize that black hair, the red scarf around her neck, even the bruised face as Mikasa looked up to him. Her face was hard, her eyes telling him to not give in, even for her.

What Eren wanted to do was lunge at Kenny for laying his hands on her, to slam his own fists into Kenny’s face and see how he liked it. It still wouldn’t be enough; no one laid their hands on her. He clenched his jaw, trying to hold back his anger as his hands clenched in fists at his side. He looked back to Kenny without another word.

“Ohh,” Kenny whistled. “Okay, guess I got the wrong rescue mission. Don’t need anyone else hangin’ around.” He walked over until he was standing of Mikasa’s body. He grabbed her hair pulling her head back towards him, a knife in his hand.

“No!” Eren cried out running to the very front of the alter. **“** Don’t you fucking touch her,”he growled.

Kenny chuckled as he let Mikasa’s head fall as he moved away from her. “Found your weakness there. She was trying to get in through the upper levels like Historia told us might happen. The girl appeared to be alone, but I’m sure Levi’s out there too. Oh don’t worry; I have men hunting them down as we speak.”

Eren wasn’t too worried about the others, they had Levi with them, but Mikasa, she clearly came in here on her own just trying to save him and now she could barely keep herself up on the floor. Instead of the anger and irritation he used to feel, he only felt guilt. This was his fault.

“What do you want,” Eren snapped looking back towards Kenny.

“I want you to drop your hand from your mouth and stop threatening to be an idiot. Do so and I’ll let your girl here live.”

“Eren,” Mikasa hissed, whether through anger or pain he couldn’t quite tell. “Don’t.” Her eyes told him all. Save yourself and forget me, they said, but that was something Eren couldn’t do. The thought wouldn’t even cross his mind.

“Fine,” Eren dropped his hand from his mouth and raised both of them in surrender. “But let me see her.”

“Whatever,” Kenny shrugged, leaning back against one of the pillars.

“Is that such a good idea?” Reiss said.

“If he tries anything…” Kenny flipped the knife he was still holding in his hand. “I’ll handle it.”

“He won’t,” Historia said, though there was still sharpness to her tongue. “Not while you have her.”

Eren made his way down from the alter for the first time in what seemed like days until he fell to his knees in front of Mikasa. “What’re you doing here?” he asked, reaching down to take her face in his hands.

She winced a little as he helped her sit up in front of him. “Getting you.”

Eren snorted. “Nice job.”

She leaned her head into his touch, her eyes still on him. “I couldn’t just leave you.”

“Like I always leave you?”

 “You were taken and we couldn’t find you.”

Eren shook his head, his thumb carefully brushing by one of the bruises on her cheek. “I promised you, and I never wanted to break that promise.”

“I knew you’d be okay.” A faint smile pulled at her lips. “I trusted you.”

Eren didn’t even think he knew how much he missed her until she was sitting in front of him. He went to move in to hug her but a gagging noise behind him made him stop.

“Are you two done yet so we can move on with why we came here?” Kenny said.

Eren racked his mind trying to figure out something to save them from this situation that didn’t involve Kenny hurting Mikasa, but he couldn’t think of anything. They were trapped here, now even more so that Kenny had his hostage to keep Eren behaved.

A hand on his shoulder had him looking back at Mikasa. “It’s okay,” she said.

“I’m pretty sure it’s not but I appreciate the optimism.”

“No, Eren, it really is okay.”

He was gonna tell her again that being hopeful wasn’t going to help them but there was a look on her face that told him everything he needed to know. Of course, she never came here alone like Eren had thought when he first saw her. She was the distraction. Everyone who knew her would easily believe she came alone to save him.  

“I should have figured I’d find you down here, smells like shit,” Levi said his blades already extended as he walked forward from the entrance. He glanced over to Eren while still keeping an eye on Kenny. “Glad to see you’re alive, Jaeger, now Ackerman can get that lost puppy look off her face.”

For the first time since Eren had been captured, he saw Kenny’s cocky expression leave his face. “Ackerman?”

“Don’t think about running, Reiss,” Levi said, looking towards the man who did look like he was about to bolt. “Not unless you want an arrow right through your chest.”

“You don’t understand!” Historia exclaimed.

“Enough talking,” Kenny barked. “Did you come here to do something or not?”

Eren knew the look in Levi’s eyes telling everyone in the room all they needed to know. Gun shots started ringing and Mikasa dove at Eren pulling him out of the range of battle that only just began. She hissed in pain as her back hit one of the rocks, but Eren didn’t even get the chance to ask if she was okay.

“The others are upstairs dealing with the guards and MPs,” Mikasa said, her voice low against the sounds around them.  “It won’t take them long to figure out where Levi went though and then I don’t think Sasha can hold all of them off from coming in here. I have to help Levi fight Kenny, so stay here until we can get you out.” She went to stand up but Eren pulled her right back down.

“You can’t fight like this, you’re hurt.” Eren knew Mikasa probably could handle it, but it shouldn’t have to be this way. Why was it always her?

“I have to,” she said, though her voice was softer. “It has to be me.”

Eren paused for a moment, his eyes meeting hers. “It doesn’t always have to be. Let me fight first, give you more time to recover. If those guys are coming down I can help Sasha at the door.”

She looked hesitant. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Of course I do.” Eren kneeled in front of her, reaching forward to brush some of her fallen hair from her eyes. “I may not have done a lot of things right when we were younger, and I’ve done a lot I regret but I never regret protecting you. So let me do this.”

Mikasa looked like she was unsure what to say but she nodded, her hand briefly reaching up to touch his.

“Wait here as long as you can, I’ll hold them off.” Eren turned without another look, knowing it wouldn’t be the last; he refused to let that happen. He had no weapons, no protective gear, not even a shirt, but as he ran the perimeter of the room to find Sasha at the door, he wasn’t gonna let that stop him. Not after everything they had done to him, to Historia, to his mother, to his father, to Mikasa. No, they would pay.


	55. It Started With a Whisper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It Started With a Whisper
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa,  
> Setting: Someplace after Chapter 50 and before they leave the cabin. I swear when they get reunited I’ll get another setting lmao  
> Rating: T (Sexual Situations and Language)  
> Words: 1713

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from Krulla Chief who asked for Levi catching Eren and Mikasa slacking off on their chores and punishes them by having to do everyone else’s chores as well. I normally never write from Levi’s perspective but this one called for it, so it was a little different for me. I enjoyed writing it a lot though! I love picking on those two. The title is from “Everybody Talks” by Neon Trees.

Levi was fairly sure all of his squad knew how he liked things done around the cabin but making them clean from top to bottom a few times a week on top of training seemed like a good way to make sure they remembered. Sasha and Historia were cleaning the living room, Levi watching over to make sure they were dusting correctly; Braus got distracted fat too easily. He glanced in the kitchen where Connie was assigned to dishes while Armin worked on preparing things for dinner. Levi saw Jean lugging a bucket of water up the stairs to clean the wooden floors upstairs.

Everyone seemed to be doing decently, well, he’d be the judge of that when they were done. He walked over to the back door to check on Jaeger and Ackerman who were supposed to be cleaning the yard and gathering kindling. He felt a quick wave of annoyance when the inseparable brats where nowhere to be found.

“For fucks sake,” he grunted, pushing open the door. In hindsight, it probably hadn’t been best idea leaving those two alone but they were the ones who volunteered so Levi didn’t care as long as they got their shit done.

The backyard looked mostly clean; gear packed away, loose leaves and branches cleared out. The ax was in a nearby stump with a small amount of kindling next to it but not nearly enough, and the two teenagers were still nowhere in sight. Levi figured at least they had to be safe; Ackerman would never let a hair on Jaeger’s head get injured but they were more than likely slacking off somewhere. He guessed that’s what he got for putting the constant in denial love birds together alone outside. He stepped out further into the yard trying to figure out where the hell those brats had run off to but it didn’t take too long, not when there was a foot sticking out from behind the shed.

He really didn’t get paid enough for this shit.

Already feeling disgusted at what he assumed he was about to go break up, he made his way over to the shed. Maybe he didn’t remember what it was like to be sixteen years old, or whatever shit Hanji would say, but Levi was not even a little bit happy when he stood in front of the shed finding his two missing subordinates.

It was a little bit unusual to see Mikasa so submissive to anyone, but there she was on her back, her eyes closed tightly and head thrown back against the ground with Eren pressed up over her, his lips on her neck. The brat’s shirt was long gone, his hips pressed up to hers and his hands grasping her thighs where her skirt had been bunched up to her waist. Well, at least Jaeger finally manned up and learned how to treat her judging by the look on her face, her hands tangled in his hair, and the small cries falling from her lips. Still, outside in the woods? That was disgusting.

“Get distracted?” Levi said gruffly to get their attention.

It worked; they both looked like they were going have a heart attack with the way Jaeger jumped off her, looking up with wide, horrified eyes while Ackerman couldn’t even look up, trying to fix her skirt and the popped buttons on her shirt.

“S-sir...I…I…” Eren sputtered in probably a mix of horror, fear, and embarrassment.

Levi just held up his hand. “I don’t give a damn what you brats want to do on your own damn time but not while slacking off on your goddamn chores. Get dressed and get your asses inside. You’re doing everyone’s chores now.”

He heard mutterings of “Yes, sir,” before he turned around to go back inside. Jesus, that was not what he wanted to see when he went out there; though he was a little impressed Jaeger even had it in him. Maybe Ackerman would stop following him around like a puppy dog hoping for affection.  

Levi opened the back door and let it slam behind him.

“Is everything okay, sir?” Braus asked from the living room when he walked in.

“Wonderful for you. All of you are off the hook for the rest of the day. Put your shit down and scram.”

No one moved not even Springer and Arlert in the kitchen or Kirstein on the stairs.

“Are you serious, sir?” Connie asked hesitantly.

“I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t. Your two comrades were slacking off and they’ll be doing the rest of your chores.”

The back door opened and the two in question made their walk of shame inside. Levi wasn’t so much of an ass to out them further but he also knew this nosey group wouldn’t stop until they knew what happened; he wasn’t above making the two sweat a bit more. If Eren and Mikasa were red faced when Levi caught them, they sure as hell were now; they could barely look at each other let alone anyone else.

“What did you do?” Jean asked wide eyed from the steps.

“None of your goddamn business,” Eren growled turning on Jean.

“Hey,” Levi barked. “It’s your own damn fault, Jaeger. Get cleaning.”

Eren grunted but he took the rag Sasha had been using to dust and started to furiously wipe at the windowsill while Historia handed Mikasa a wet sponge.

A snort of laughter echoed through the quiet room causing Levi to glance over at Armin, his hand over his mouth trying to hide his clear amusement as Mikasa sat down on the floor to finish Historia’s job. Arlert was a smart kid, he probably saw it all over his friend’s face the moment they walked in; granted the others probably weren’t that smart. Levi sat down on the couch to keep an eye on the cleaning and that they didn’t just go abandon these too to finish what they started.

There was a silence that settled over the room, and an awkward one at that as Eren and Mikasa’s embarrassment practically radiated off of them and the others not quite sure what to say or do.

“Armin.” Eren’s tone was warning as he looked over to the blond who was still trying not to laugh.

“I’m sorry, I really am,” Armin said but he didn’t look too sorry. “I just, I did try to warn you.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like I could help it, okay.”

Mikasa looked like she was trying to rub the wood off the floor or sink into it.

“Am I missing something?” Connie asked.

“No,” Eren said firmly, moving to the next window.

“No, no.” Sasha shook her head from the spot she took on the stairs. “Mikasa never gets in trouble. What were you two doing?”

Levi resisted saying “each other” just to get them all to shut up, but they already looked embarrassed enough; he wasn’t going to stop the others though.

“Does no one understand minding their own business?” Eren mumbled, Mikasa still silent on the matter.

“No,” Jean snorted, arms crossed against his chest as he eyed them. “Not when we are all stuck in a cabin together.”

“Okay,” Armin said, though he was at least trying to hold back his grin now. “They used to fall asleep all the time when they had to go out and do chores. I’m sure that’s all that happened.”

Those two were lucky they had a friend willing to blatantly lie to save their asses.

Connie snorted. “What’s there to be embarrassed about then? That happens to me all the time.”

Levi glanced sharply over to him.

“When I was a kid too,” Connie finished quickly side stepping to where the others were on the stairs.

“I dunno,” Sasha said thoughtfully. “Getting caught falling asleep together really shouldn’t be that embarrassing. It’s not like they don’t do that every night.”

Jean nearly fell off the stairs with an exclamation of “What!” the same time Mikasa hissed, “Sasha!”.

She looked a little embarrassed herself. “I’m sorry, I assumed everyone already knew.”

“Most of us did,” Historia shrugged from her spot leaning up against one of the walls, looking rather disinterested in delving into the private lives of her comrades. Levi always knew he liked that girl.

“I guess most of us meaning everyone but Jean,” Connie said, reaching up to scratch the back of his head.

Oh if Mikasa and Eren didn’t look like they wanted to fall through the floor before the sure as hell did now. Eren kept glancing over to Levi, a look of poorly disguised worry on his face.

“Don’t look at me like that, Jaeger. You’re stupid if you didn’t think I already knew.”

“And you let them?” Jean looked like he was gonna pass out or punch someone; it was always hard to tell with Kirstein.

“I don’t need to defend my actions to anyone, least of all you.” Which seemed to put Jean back in his place. “Are all of you down gossiping like housewives?” He only got silence in return. “Good, now go do something useful.”

Everyone but Armin went either upstairs or back in the kitchen though Connie made sure he shut the door behind him.

“Thanks for the overwhelming support,” Eren mumbled when Armin too a few steps closer to him, Mikasa still scrubbing at the floor.

“I’m sorry,” Armin said looking apologetic this time. “The situation was just funny for once instead of tragic.”

“Arlert has a point,” Levi said, pushing himself up to his feet. “So treasure the time your superior officer walked in on you fucking around.”

There were those red faces and averted gazes again.

“Finish up this room and get cleaned up for dinner.” He headed up the stairs to make sure Hanji didn’t die doing some bat shit research project. “You two better come up with a good story because I’m not gonna hold off the vultures at the dinner table.”

“Yes, sir,” came the two muttered responses.

Jesus, he didn’t nearly get paid enough to deal with horny teenagers. Levi glanced back down over the railing, Eren on his hands and knees to help Mikasa with the floor.

It really was about goddamn time though.


	56. Christmas Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Christmas Shopping
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern Day AU; Where Mikasa and Eren grew up in the same house  
> Words: 2909  
> Rating: K+ (Light Language)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy first day of December! If any of you remember from last year I like to do the 25 Days of fics for the holidays :3 I rotate between 5 pairings but of course up first is my OTP of OTPs. I also did something a bit different this year; in addition to the prompt, I added a Christmas song to each story whether for context, actual prompt or just mood ^^

_All I Want for Christmas is You_

Eren immediately regretted coming to the mall with Mikasa the moment he stepped in. Okay, really it was driving through the traffic just to get to the mall and finding a parking spot but he was giving it the benefit of the doubt at that point. The area was so packed that he didn’t even know how he was gonna get to a store let alone in it, not to mention his vision blinded by the green, red, gold, and silver Christmas decorations and Christmas songs blasting over the speakers. Needless to say he was feeling far less festive than this mall was apparently.

“Is it even December yet, Jesus,” he grunted shaking some snow off his jacket.

“It’s the first of December, therefore this is actually acceptable now.” Mikasa gave him a smile before grabbing a hold of his arm to lead him through the crowds.

“I’m pretty sure it’s the only time Mariah Carey is acceptable.”

“Eren.” Mikasa was trying to be serious but he heard her laugh.

He grabbed her hand off his arm to hold onto it so they wouldn’t get separated in this mad house. He was beyond thankful she wanted to wait till after Black Friday to go Christmas shopping.

“Okay,” she said pulling him off to the side of the walkway and away from the moving crowd and pulling a list from her pocket. “Who do you want to start with?”

“Uhhh,” he skimmed down the list of their friends and family. “Armin, we were gonna split that new game system for him anyway.”

Mikasa nodded putting the list back in her pocket. “Do you have yours?”

“My what?”

She rolled her eyes. “Your Christmas list of who you need to buy for.”

“Oh.” Eren put his hands on her shoulders as she started to walk back through the crowds. “Is the same people you buy for. Mom, Dad, Armin, Sasha, Connie and all them, and well, you, which you haven’t actually told me what you wanted for Christmas.”

He felt Mikasa shrug under his hands as he pulled her back a few steps before a kid ran through nearly tripping them both.

“I don’t really need anything,” she said, walking through the crowd again.

“Mikasa, it’s Christmas, I’m getting you something so just tell me whatever it is you want.”

“Here’s the store for Armin’s gift.” She quickly squeezed by a mom trying to get her crying kid away from the video game store.

Eren could tell she was avoiding his question, but whatever, he’d figure out what she wanted before this trip was done. They might’ve lived together since they were nine but Mikasa was never good at keeping anything from him.

He should’ve figured the video game store would be packed but he managed to get to the front of the line with Mikasa grabbing a few games off the shelves. “Do you have any left?” Eren asked the girl behind the counter, pointing to the system behind her.

“Yes,” she nodded before one of her colleges went to go grab one from the back room. She scanned a barcode and scanned the games Mikasa put down. “Is it for your son?” the cashier asked once the total was posted.

“Heh?” Eren looked up from pulling his card out of his wallet.

“The system, is it for your son?”

“I don’t…” he looked at the cashier who was looking back and forth to him and Mikasa. “Oh, oh! No, we don’t…we aren’t…” What was he supposed to say? Sorry, lady, the girl you just mistook for my girlfriend is actually my best friend who my parents took in at a young age.

“It’s for our best friend,” Mikasa answered with a smile to the cashier who was starting to look a little panicked.

Eren swiped his card trying to ignore the surge of irritation he felt. It really shouldn’t bother him; it wasn’t like people hadn’t asked that before. They looked too different for anyone to think they were related, and apparently having a girl for one of your best friends wasn’t anyone’s first thoughts.

The cashier was apologizing profusely but Mikasa just smiled and said it was okay; though there was something a bit off with her tone. Maybe she was just annoyed too. Eren grabbed the bag while Mikasa led them out of the store and back into the walkways.

“Where to now?” she asked, pulling at her note, but avoiding actually looking at him.

Eren tried to push aside the situation they had just been forced into out of his mind because clearly she didn’t want to talk about it. “What are you getting my dad?”

She glanced up at Eren. “He asked me to renew his medical journal subscription like I normally do and I was gonna bake him something. I think the question is what are you getting him.”

“Some boring medical book.”

“Eren, you get him that every year. C’mon, let’s get a little creative.” She rolled her eyes but there was a smile pulling at her lips. She turned to head down the walkway again but Eren reached to grab her hand to make sure they didn’t get separated.

Unlike last time though, Eren was suddenly very aware of what the cashier had implied. He dropped her hand quickly, glancing away when she looked up at him. What the hell was he thinking? Honestly he didn’t even know. He was torn between yelling at himself because he held her hand countless times, in public and in private, that he was acting stupid. Yet at the same time that was an act normally between people in a relationship, not…not whatever they were.

Eren started to walk again, this time shoving his hand in his coat pocket. He looked over to ask where they were going but before he could, he saw someone walk into Mikasa from behind, sending her forward and nearly to the floor. He reached both his hands out to catch her shoulders before she tripped, standing in front of her so no one could push her over while she regained her footing.

“Hey, watch the hell you’re going,” Eren snapped at the guy who was looking apologetic from behind her.

“I’m sorry, man. Is your girlfriend okay?”

“She’s not my...” he started to growl but the guy was already walking away. Eren looked back over to Mikasa, his hands still holding onto her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just surprised me,” she said, giving a smile that he knew wasn’t quite her full smile.

“Alright.” He let her go and took his spot next to her again as they started to walk.

At least it was a little clearer over on this side of the mall away from the main entrance and they could actually walk. He glanced over to Mikasa but she wasn’t looking over at him, she had her eyes in front of her. Scanning stores to go in maybe? Eren really wasn’t sure, but he knew something was wrong. He wanted to ask her but he wasn’t sure she’d tell him in the middle of a busy mall and he had an inkling he knew what it was. Yeah, it was weird that people kept assuming they were together, and Eren knew it was bugging him so it was probably bothering her too.

Was it because it was so ridiculous for them to actually be together? Or was she upset because she’d never want a guy like him. It could be because there’s someone else she’d rather have people assume she was together with. He shook his head to get the thoughts out; he’d just ask her in the car but if it was any of those answers he wasn’t sure he liked that if the sudden and sharp jab to his chest meant anything.

“Eren?” Mikasa asked snapping him back.

“Hmm?”

“Can we stop here? I have to get a charm for Aunt Carla’s bracelet.” She was gesturing to a small jewelry store on the corner of the mall aisle.

“Yeah, of course.” Besides there weren’t a lot of people in there at all; it would be a nice breather.

Mikasa went up to the glass cases that showed all the charms for his mom, while he wandered down a little ways, eyeing over the jewelry sparkling under the lights.

“You know, the engagement rings are over that way,” a woman’s voice said, startling Eren so much that he almost backed into another glass case.

He looked up to see a female sales associate leaning over the cases right next to him, her head gesturing down to where Mikasa was. He felt his face twitch in anger, not even being able to hold it back any more. “Why the hell is everyone obsessed with me the girl who is most definitely _not_ my girlfriend,” he snapped at her, hands clenched against his sides. “Just mind your own damn business.” He probably shouldn’t have talked to her like that but God damn, couldn’t people just leave them alone?

She didn’t seem too bothered by it though. “I think really what you should be asking is why people insinuating that she is makes you so angry.”

Eren dropped Armin’s present by his feet, crossing his arms against his chest. “Listen…” he looked over to her name tag. “Petra. I don’t need life advice in the middle of a jewelry store. I’m just waiting for her to get her charm and leaving. Why don’t you go help your actual customer?”

As if on cue, another sales associate walked over to where Mikasa was, asking her about what charms she was looking at.

“I’m pretty sure I have my own customer to help,” Petra said with a smile at Eren.

He scoffed. “I’m not buying jewelry.”

“I never said you had to but I do want to know why that pretty girl isn’t your girlfriend.”

“This is none of your business.”

She shrugged. “No probably not, but she looks like she’s gonna be here for a while so you might as well get some of that anger out while she’s busy.”

Eren looked over to Mikasa who was only on the third page of the book and was already having the sales associate pull out charms. He sighed and looked over to Petra who was still watching him. This was so stupid, but maybe he’d feel better. “We grew up together, and by that I mean she’s lived with me since her parents died when she was nine.”

“So she’s like your sister?”

“God no, yeah we grew up in the same house but I’ve never seen her as my sister, she’s just always been…Mikasa, she’s family, yeah, but she’s…my best friend.”

Petra gave him a knowing smile. “So she’s not like a sister, and she’s not a girlfriend, she’s just your best friend?”

Eren shrugged, not really liking the way his heart had jumped in his throat at the question. “Yeah, of course.”

“Huh, that’s funny.”

“What?”

“Cause I’m pretty sure that’s not how someone who just wants to be best friends looks,” she nodded over to Mikasa.

Eren looked over to see Mikasa watching him. Clearly she hadn’t been expecting him to look back, because he saw the small smile on her face fade and her cheeks getting red before she quickly looked back down at the book.

Petra clicked her tongue. “That was some blush.”

Eren ignored her. “Did you need me, Mikasa?”

She looked back over to him, this time with her normal smile on her face. “Yeah, do you think your mom would be offended if I got her Margarita charm?”

“From you? No. From my dad? Yes.”

Mikasa laughed, her whole face lighting up as she did, her eyes turning into half crescents like they did when she smiled too big.

It was impossible for Eren not to feel a smile pulling at his lips when Mikasa looked back to the charms.

“And that look on your face is definitely not the look of someone who wants to just be best friends.”

Eren felt a scowl again as he looked back to Petra, looking smug as ever. “What do you even know about it?”

“I just can see why I wasn’t the first one to mistake you two as a couple. It’s the easy air between you, the way no matter where you are in the room you gravitate towards each other, the way you both look at each other when the other isn’t looking.”

He wanted to snap at her that it wasn’t true but Mikasa caught his eye before he could. She was looking at something, probably a charm, her eyes were shining and there was a small smile on her mouth. She must have found something she liked; she always tried to keep it in when she wanted something, but Eren knew the look. It was how he always managed to surprise her with gifts. He knew her tell when it came to something she wanted. Eren wondered why he never noticed she looked at him the same way.

He reached his hands up to rub his face. “Shit.”

“Ahh,” Petra said. “You can see it now can’t you. Take it a step further now. When was the last time you went on a date?”

Eren dropped his hands. “I don’t know, a year or so ago? I’m busy okay.”

“And how long did that last?”

“I don’t remember. A few dates maybe.”

“Who ended it? You?”

“Yeah,” Eren shrugged. “Wasn’t what I wanted.”

“Has it always been that way? Date a girl for a bit and break up with her because she wasn’t what you wanted?”

“I guess.”

“Let me tell you something, kid,” Petra gestured for him to lean in a little closer. “It’s because you always had everything you wanted right in front of you the whole time.” She nodded back towards Mikasa.

Eren glanced back to the girl he knew for so long. She was paying for whatever she had bought a satisfied smile on her lips. Mikasa was always there, she was always by his side and really Eren wouldn’t want it any other way. The girls he had dated never stuck because if Mikasa wanted to do something, Eren would easily rather be with her than most anyone else. He’d rather be with her general; everything always seemed better, brighter with her. No one was good enough for him because they weren’t her.

“And I can guarantee the reason you get angry when people insinuate you two are together isn’t because you aren’t angry at the insinuation,” Petra continued. “But upset that’s not the way it is.”

“Eren?” Mikasa said causing him to look back over to her. She had a small bag in her hands. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” he said, reaching down to pick up his bag.

“Hey, Eren,” Petra said, causing Eren to turn around while Mikasa walked out of the store. “Don’t forget to tell her you love her.” She slid a small white box across the counter towards him.

“I can’t take th-”

Petra shook her head. “My treat, just take it.”

Eren reached over to grab the box from her. He popped open the top and saw a silver bracelet sitting inside; it had a plain heart charm with another charm of wings attached behind it. “Wow,” he said looking up. “Thank y-” He looked around but the woman, Petra, she wasn’t there anymore.

“Excuse me,” Eren turned to ask the woman who was helping Mikasa. “There was a woman working here, Petra, she gave this to me, but I don’t see her anymore.”

The woman looked confused. “There’s no one that works here by that name. Let me see the box.”

Eren passed it over and the sales associate looked inside.

She looked up before passing it back to him. “It’s lovely, but it’s nothing we sell here.”

Eren gestured back to where Petra had been standing. “I…I’m not sure what to say. She was-”

“Just say Merry Christmas,” the woman said with a smile looking out to where Mikasa was waiting. “She’s a pretty girl, I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“Uh,” Eren looked down to the box before a smile pulled at his mouth. “Merry Christmas.” He looked up at the sales associate before slipping the box in his pocket and walking out.

“What was that about?” she asked, looking up at him when he walked over to her.

“Nothing,” he shook his head. Eren wasn’t entirely sure what just took place, but there was one thing he was sure of; something he probably always had been sure of, but just needed a point in the right direction.

Mikasa clearly wasn’t buying it but she started walking again though the mall. “Okay, next is Uncle Grisha. Try and get him something that isn’t just gonna sit and collect dust.”

Eren reached over to grab a hold of her hand after someone tried to wedge themselves between to get through; this time though he didn’t let go. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go to that store with all the gadget stuff. I’m sure we can find him something there.”

“Excuse me!” A vender called out getting Eren’s attention. “Holiday pictures for you and your girlfriend?”

“Oh, we’re no-” Mikasa started.

“No thanks,” Eren said with a smile before she could finish.

Petra was right; that felt much better.


	57. Snowball Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6 – Snowball Fight
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Right after they all join the Scouting Legion.  
> Rating: K+ (and one bout of Strong Language)  
> Words: 1731

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys get a day early update cause I won't be home tomorrow :3

_Jingle Bells_

Whoever decided training in the snow was a good idea was ….well, Levi that’s who. Eren tried to run his numb hands on his arms but it wasn’t working. Yeah, they had jackets and yeah, they had boots but gloves would’ve been nice, maybe some hats. He supposed the Scouting Legion really didn’t have the money to suit the members in winter gear but it would’ve been nice.

“How long is he gonna make us stand out here,” Jean grunted with Sasha and Connie standing nearby.

Eren wasn’t even sure how long they had been out here to begin with but long enough for his toes to lose feeling. If the snow on the ground wasn’t bad enough, then the flakes falling from the sky was worse. He glanced over at Armin who was shivering, ears and cheeks red from his spot next to Eren. He got the feeling the only one who was remotely warm was Mikasa, on the other side of him, her nose and face tucked under her red scarf.  Ymir and Krista had taken to leaning up against the side of the building with Reiner squatting nearby, Bertholdt trying to brush the snow out of his hair. Everyone looked freezing.

“You guys doing okay?” Eren huffed, his breath coming out in little bursts of vapors that looked like smoke.

“Yeah,” Armin chattered, his hands shoved into his pockets and his jacket pulled tight around him. “I just wish the Lance Corporal would come out so at least we could start moving around and warm up.”

“I’m sure he has his…reasons.” Eren really wasn’t sure if he did or not, maybe this was their training; trying not get frost bite.

Mikasa make some muffled noise that made Eren look over to her. The skin popping out from her scarf was red from the chill but she wasn’t even shivering.

“Well, you’re the only smart one,” Eren said, tucking a piece of her scarf that had blown over her shoulder back around her neck.

“Only in the winter though, not in the dead of the summer,” Armin snorted.

Mikasa rolled her eyes but Eren saw she had that small smile on her face even behind the fabric.

He was about to turn back around to gaze up at the building and see if anyone was coming but he noticed Mikasa had her hands tucked under her arms . Well, she was only human.

“Let me see,” he said holding one of his hands out to her.

She blinked at him.

“Mikasa.” Eren gestured with his hand. “Let me see your hands.”

She carefully removed her hands from under her jacket and held them out to Eren.

He grabbed a hold of both of them in his and started to rub against them; granted it wasn’t helping all that much because his hands were just as cold. Mikasa always got cold before he did, even with the scarf around her neck. He wasn’t quite sure what it was about her but he couldn’t count the times he found her cold toes and fingers in bed with him in the middle of the night during the winter.

“Is that doing anything?” He looked up to see Mikasa watching him.

“Yes,” she answered.

“Liar.” He brought her hands up to his mouth, his own hands still enclosing them. He blew air into his hands, trying to hit her’s with his breath as he started to rub his hands against her again. Eren knew his hands were starting to get feeling back as he took another breath and blew again. He glanced up at her over their hands. “Better now?” he murmured, his lips brushing against her fingers.

“Yeah,” she breathed, her face looking a bit redder than it had previously.

Eren went to breathe again since as her hands were warming up so were his but all warmth left his body when a sharp and very wet feeling was sent all down the back of his head. He dropped Mikasa’s hands and reached behind him to find snow sprayed out on him, some of it inching down his back.

Eren spun around to find the guilty party; it was so easy it was like they didn’t even try. Sasha had her hands over her mouth and Connie was trying not to laugh but Jean, Jean was looking away, his hands shoved in his pants pocket and an angry scowl on his face as he looked anywhere but at Eren.

Oh no, he was not getting away with that. Eren reached down and grabbed a handful of snow in his hands that were now more than a little cold but he packed it together and sent it flying towards Jean’s face.

He must’ve been really avoiding Eren because the snowball landed right in his face.

Silence fell in the field as Jean stared over at Eren. “You’re dead,” Jean snarled before reaching down to grab more snow to toss over.

Before the next snowball could hit though, Eren felt himself get pulled down behind a nearby rock. Mikasa was crouched next to him, her hand still on his jacket while Armin was frantically making snowballs next to them.

“What’re you doing?” Eren asked as Mikasa let go of him. “I could take care of myself.”

Multiple snowballs flew over the rock landing close by behind them.

“Okay then,” Eren said, reaching out to help Armin make snowballs. He wasn’t sure why or when this turned into a war but a war he could do. “He started it, I’m gonna make him pay.”

“He’ll have Sasha and Connie with him,” Mikasa said, peering over the rock carefully. A snowball flew so fast that she had to duck so it didn’t hit her face. “And Reiner now.”

“Bertholdt too,” Krista’s voice said as she peered out from behind a tree nearby.

“Even in a fake war you always seem to be the root of it, huh, Jaeger.”

“Shove it, Ymir,” Eren grumbled, ignoring the girl who was standing near Krista. “This isn’t something that’s new to us.”

Eren peered around the rock and saw just a bit of Connie’s bald head looking the other way. He flung the snowball in his hand right towards Connie before ducking back behind the rock.

“Ah! Cold, cold, cold!” Connie shouted.

“Keep down,” Reiner said. “They’ll know where we are.”

Eren didn’t have to know where they’re to know they had no chance. He wasn’t lying when he told Ymir they had done this before. It wasn’t the first time the three of them ended up in a snow ball fight in the middle of winter and they certainly weren’t used to losing, not with Mikasa.

“Ready?” Armin asked, pushing his snowballs towards her.

Mikasa looked to Eren who grabbed a few snowballs before giving her a nod. She jumped up to her feet holding Armin’s nearly perfectly made snowballs, while Eren leaned out the side of the rock already tossing snowballs at anyone he could see, specifically Jean’s tuft of hair popping out from behind a bush. Snowballs flew over his head coming from Mikasa, who landed a hit on both Sasha and Reiner.

Eren leaned back around to get some more snowballs when Mikasa dropped back down, her hand on her cheek. He could see the snow in her scarf and the red spot on her face to know she got it.

“Who was it?” he asked leaning into her.

“Bertholdt,” Mikasa said. “I didn’t even see him behind the tree.”

“I got it,” Armin said, grabbing an armful of snowballs and slipping around to a bush that was a little closer. A few more snowballs flew over from Krista who was behind them; Ymir still looked indifferent but Eren pitied the person who managed to hit Krista.

Eren reached up to brush the fallen snow off her scarf, careful so it didn’t get on her neck or down her jacket, before he placed the back of his hand up against the red mark the snowball left on her face. “You okay?”

She nodded, pulling her scarf up over her mouth a little as she looked at him.

“You think we should go all in?” Eren asked, pulling her scarf back up around her neck. She didn’t have to say anything, he knew that look. He gathered half the snowballs Armin left as Mikasa gathered the others; he wasn’t even aware that he couldn’t feel his fingers anymore.

“Ready?”

She nodded, and Eren saw the smile in her eyes. He jumped up at the same time she did, wailing the snowballs in their arms at whoever was there. The other’s seemed to have the same idea; Sasha letting out some war yells as she pegged snowballs wherever she could.

“Man down!” Connie shouted as he fell to the ground, completely covered in snow.

Eren felt on hit him in the chest but that wasn’t nearly enough to make him stop, not when he landed one in Jean’s face again.

“What the fuck is going on out here?” a chillingly familiar voice called, one that was enough to halt everyone mid throw to look over. Levi was standing near the door, a snowball clearly having made contact with his shoulder.

Eren resisted the urge to blame it on Jean, but just stood there staring at their recent superior officer dumbfounded.

“Are you done acting like five years olds?”

Everyone who was holding a snowball still promptly dropped it.

Levi reached over to brush the snow that was on his jacket off. “Just get inside before I make all of you camp out here tonight with no tents.”

Everyone quickly filed inside whether from the threat or the prospect of being out of the snow Eren wasn’t sure. He followed next to Mikasa, trying to avert away from Levi’s narrowed gaze. He looked over to Mikasa, her cheeks still red from the cold but there was something else in her eyes, something he hadn’t seen in a long time. It was happiness; small, yeah, but it was there. He had to look away for fear he was gonna get caught staring at her.

Even though Eren felt about two feet tall when he walked by Levi, it was totally worth it to see that light in her eyes again.

And to hit Jean in the face with a snowball. 

 


	58. Snowed In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 11 – Snowed In
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern Day AU  
> Rating: K+ (Light Language)  
> Words: 2160

_Baby, It’s Cold Outside_

Eren couldn’t remember the last time he saw it snow so much; he had to have been just a kid. Yeah, it was dark out when he was looking out the window, but he still could barely see the cars in the driveway. He zipped up his jacket any way; hat pulled firmly on his head and over his ears. He started searching through his pockets for his gloves, which is where he thought he left them but when he couldn’t feel the soft material he really wasn’t sure.

“And just where do you think you’re going?”

Eren turned his head away from the front door and towards his mom’s voice.

She was standing in the kitchen doorway behind him, one hand on her hip and the other one holding his gloves. She had an eyebrow arched as she watched him. “Not out there where there’s already inches of snow on the ground and more coming down by the second.”

“Relax, Ma, I’m not driving out there.” He tried to reach out to grab the gloves from her but she held them away from him again, clearly wanting an answer before she gave into anything; he shouldn’t have expected anything less from her. “Mikasa called,” he relented. “Her brother is away for the weekend so she’s stuck alone in the storm. I told her I’d go over and keep her company. It’s not like she lives more than two minutes away from us.”

His mom tossed his gloves at him as her face changed from stern mother to perfectly happy with life mother. “Well, why didn’t you say so sooner? Don’t make that poor girl sit in that big house alone. Oh wait!” She darted back off to the kitchen causing Eren to roll his eyes as he tugged on his gloves.

He was pretty sure his mom was the only mother who was okay with their seventeen year old son going over to a girl’s house alone. Granted Mikasa had been his neighbor since they were nine but he would’ve thought his mom’s mindset would’ve changed as they grew older; Levi’s sure as hell did, well, not like he ever liked Eren all too much even when he was a kid. Yet his mom still let Mikasa stay over if she wanted to.

“Here,” his mom came back in holding a covered glass tray. “Take her some dinner for you guys.”

“Mom,” Eren started trying to tell her it was fine that Mikasa probably had something they could heat up but the sudden stern look in his mom’s eyes changed his mind. Best not to fight when he was trying to leave the house. With a sigh he reached his hands out to hold the hot tray.

“Be careful walking out there.” She opened the door for him as she pulled her sweated closer around her. “Let me know when you get there so I know you didn’t get stuck and die of hypothermia.”

“Okay, Ma,” Eren rolled his eyes again. “I love you I’ll see you later.”

“Love you too,” she called back, the light from the house leaving the walkway as she shut the door.

Shit, it was cold out.

The wind was blowing the falling snow right into him, the chill cutting through his jacket with ease. Thankfully the warm tray of food was keeping his hands from going numb. His dad went out and shoveled the walkway at one point but it was already piling back up as Eren walked along, trying to see past the wind and the snow in his face.

He managed to reach the side walk but that snow was already up to his knees; the things he did for the people he loved. Eren took a step into it, the cold seeping into his jeans right past his boots. Chills went down his body but the faster he went the faster he could warm up again. He put his other leg into the snow and started to trudge down the sidewalk to the house just a little bit down the street.

By the time he hit his immediate neighbor’s house, the deep tray was still warm against his upper body but his legs were not. They had moved from just cold against the snow to very cold and now rather wet from the snow melting on him. He saw the lights of Mikasa’s house on in the next house over; he was pretty sure this was the longest time it ever took him to walk two houses down.

The lights were completely off upstairs, he could easily tell that, just the downstairs lights; probably the kitchen, foyer for the front door, and the living room where he had no doubt Mikasa took her place in. She never liked being home alone, let alone being upstairs alone. It really was no surprise when he got the call asking if there was any way he could come over even if she thought she was being discreet about it. She always had the tough guy appearance on, never letting anyone know when she was scared, but Eren knew her better than that.

Her walkway wasn’t shoveled at all, causing Eren to get no relief as he turned off the sidewalk and into her yard. His mom would probably kill him if he didn’t do it for Mikasa before he left tonight; something about being a man and shit. Maybe once his clothes had dried and he didn’t feel like he was a walking snowman.

He made it up her steps, knowing them so well that he could find them even covered in snow, and pulled open the screen door. He balanced it on his body as he reached for the handle to the front door but he wasn’t too surprised to find it locked. He instead rapped his gloved knuckles against the door.

“It’s just me,” he called out, knowing she was probably nearby.

Sure enough, he heard the familiar click and saw the even more familiar face poke into his view. Mikasa pulled open the door as he stepped in, the heat of the house hitting him in all the best ways. She was dressed just in her pj pants and a top, a fleece blanket over her shoulders as she shut and locked the door behind him.

“You look like you just walked through the Antarctic,” she said as she turned around to face him, a small smile pulling at her lips.

“I sure as hell feel like I did,” he grunted, trying to kick off his soaking wet boots.

Mikasa reached out to grab the still miraculously warm tray from his hands so he could pull his jacket and gloves off. “Courtesy of Aunt Carla I presume?”

Eren snorted tossing the gloves over by his boots. “Like she’d ever let me leave you here without a three course meal.” He pulled off his jacket which was wet too but at least it kept his shirt underneath dry. He hung that up on the nearby coat rack; Levi already set down enough plastic in the foyer to catch any type of snow or wet objects imaginable. Eren tucked his hat in his jacket pocket before he reached up to try and flatten his now static hair; it wasn’t working so well. He didn’t care too much about that though, what was bothering him was his jeans that were soaked from the knee up to his thighs, the heavy material sticking to his skin all the most uncomfortable ways.

He turned around to see Mikasa walking back in from the kitchen where she must’ve left the food, but this time she was holding a familiar looking pair of flannel pj pants.

“I thought you might need them walking over in the snow,” she said, tossing them over to him.

He caught them but he couldn’t help but feel a little amused. “I haven’t seen these in so long. Have you been hoarding them here?”

Mikasa turned around to head back into the kitchen before Eren saw her face. “I just happened to find them here, probably from the last time you stayed over.”

Eren didn’t quite buy it but he was relieved he had something to change into. He quickly replaced the wet jeans with the warm flannel of the pajama pants and walked the short distance to the kitchen where he could already smell his mom’s cooking.

“Are you hungry yet?” Mikasa asked, the top of the container peeled back some.

“I’m actually okay right now,” he said. “Maybe when I can feel my limps again I’ll be hungry.”

She covered the food and slid it right into the fridge for safe keeping; he assumed she wasn’t very hungry either. Mikasa grabbed her blanket off the counter and gestured for him to come with her.

The TV was playing lightly in the background when they walked in the living room, some movie or something, but judging by the book open on the coffee table it was only on to keep out the silence of the house. Eren followed her and sat himself right down on the couch, pulling a neatly folded blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over his shoulders, letting the thick fabric try and bring warmth back to his frozen limbs. He wasn’t a fan of the winter but he was a fan of making Mikasa happy.

She sat down next to him, her feet dangling over the couch while Eren had tucked his underneath him. She was still being quiet, which wasn’t too unusual for her, but in this case he knew why. After all, the whole reason he came over was to keep her from being all alone in the house.

Eren reached over and grabbed a hold of her waist, pulling her into him until her back was up against his chest.

“Eren!” she cried out when his cold fingers brushed against the skin of her stomach but she was laughing now at least. She tried to hit at his hands to let her go, but he only held on tighter, intentionally trying to get his cold skin to brush against hers where he could. “You’re freezing, knock it off!”

“Hey, I came out here for you; it’s only fair to share your warmth.” He was only kidding, he probably would’ve done it even if she hadn’t asked him to but he felt her go still against him.

Mikasa’s head turned to face him; her eyes were still bright but her face went back to her usual serious expression. “Thank you for coming out here. I really appreciate it.”

“That wasn’t a guilt trip, Mikasa.” He poked his fingers against her sides causing her to laugh again. “I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to.”

She laid her head back against his shoulder, her own hands reaching to grab a hold of his; her warm touch already melting the cold away. “How long can you stay?”

He shrugged, leaning his head against hers. “A few hours probably. If I wait longer than that I might’ve to swim through the snow to get home.” Eren felt her chuckle.

She was quiet for a moment, her fingers trailing designs against his hands, before she looked up to him again. “You know, it’s pretty cold outside.”

“Yeah, I’m rather aware of that one.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want you to go back outside even later at night and risk getting sick or anything. It’s almost Christmas break; no one wants to be sick over the holidays.” Her voice was full of concern but Eren knew that small glisten in her eyes.

He was inclined to agree with her, of course, and he’d rather not go back out there at all but there was something a little bit more than that. Ever since the break in that left her without her parents, Mikasa hated being home alone; he knew she’d probably never sleep tonight and just be curled up somewhere alone; he knew because he found her like that before. How could he ever leave knowing that’s what her night would be?

“Hmmm,” he said, his tone light. “Well, I mean that’s a good point. It is rather cold out.”

“And your clothes probably won’t dry until overnight,” she added leaving out they could always use the dryer.

“Aren’t you the queen of persuasion.” He reached for his phone but remembered it was probably still in his coat or jean pockets. “Gimmie your phone, I’ll let my mom know.”

Mikasa moved to reach onto the table where her phone was sitting. She passed it to him and even if Eren didn’t know how she would feel if she was stuck in the house alone all night, the smile on her face would’ve still made it all worth it.


	59. Baking Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 16 – Baking Cookies
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern AU; They're in their mid-late twenties  
> Words: 1972  
> Rating: K

_I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause_

Mikasa was ready to throw everything on her kitchen counter right into the garbage, or out the window, she wasn’t sure which right now but her levels of irritation as she looked at the mess in front of her was enough to throw something. All she wanted to was bake some cookies for the Christmas party and yet all she had was a disaster of flour, butter, batter, spices, eggs, sugar, and batches of burnt tasteless cookies in the garbage.

She really just wanted to give up and buy the damn things at the supermarket down the street but no, she refused to let food of all things defeat her. With a frustrated groan, she lifted the recipe book back up to her face. It was simple, it was simple fractions mixed together to make a whole. She had measured everything together perfectly; she couldn’t understand why her cookies were turning out like utter crap.

Mikasa tossed the cookbook back down on the counter, covering it even more mess. With a sigh, she reached for her measuring cups and started to pour more flour in to try again.

She really shouldn’t be bothering. She had been at this for hours with no luck and she didn’t think another chance would give her that luck but Mikasa couldn’t give up not when her mother-in-law could cook magic out of anything and Mikasa couldn’t even make a batch of homemade cookies.  She started to stir the new batter much harder than she needed to.

It was sticky and didn’t really look like what she thought it should look like; she was even scared to try and taste it. Another heavy sigh of frustration left her lips. She probably would have thrown the bowl if she hadn’t felt a small bit of pressure coming from her stomach. Mikasa held the bowl against her chest as she reached a hand down to her swollen stomach covered by the batter splattered apron.

“I know,” she said, rubbing her hand over where the baby had kicked. “I shouldn’t get upset over cookies but, little girl, you try bringing a box of store bought cookies when Nana made the whole Christmas dinner from scratch.” Another kick. “Yeah, if you did it, everyone would love it.”

Mikasa reached back up to keep stirring the batter but it wasn’t looking any better. She knew Eren would probably get upset with her for causing herself so much stress over nothing but she just wanted to bring homemade cookies for once, good tasting homemade cookies for once. She dipped one finger into the batter just to taste a little bit of it and she immediately regretted it. With a groan she dropped the bowl on the counter, letting it fall over, she just didn’t care anymore. This was a disaster.

“Hey, Mama, we’re home!”

The door swung open causing Mikasa to look up to see Nicolas running into the apartment with Eren shutting the door behind them, both still decked out in their winter clothing.

“Wow,” Nicolas said, wrinkling his nose. “It smells funny in here.”

Mikasa dropped the spoon she was still holding onto the counter; she knew he didn’t mean anything but now she just wanted to cry.

Eren seemed to be the first to react. “Okay, buddy, why don’t you go get changed and play in your room for a bit okay?”

“Okay!” the five year old took off towards his room, pulling off his boots, hat, gloves, jacket all along the way.

She heard Eren taking off his own jacket and boots before he walked the short distance to the kitchen. She propped her chin up with her hand as she leaned over the counter in defeat. “You don’t have to say it; I know it’s a mess.”

“Well, the kitchen is, yeah, and maybe you a little bit too.”

She shot him a glare as he walked into the kitchen but she was only met with a toothy smile and bright eyes; it was nearly impossible to stay mad, especially when someone was now doing summersaults in her stomach.

Eren reached out to press his hands to her shoulders. “Why don’t you let me clean up and we’ll go to a nice bakery and get some homemade cookies there.”

“No, Eren, that’s not what I want,” she said straightening up to face him. She very well knew she was being whiney, but she just wanted to do this herself for once. “Carla, my mom when she was alive, all the moms at Nick’s school they are all these homebody, Martha Stewart women who can make anything at the drop of a hat and I can’t even make one halfway decent batch of cookies for our family on Christmas.”

“Mikasa,” he said, his voice a little softer though his eyes looked rather amused. “You don’t need to be able to bake cookies to be a good mom. Besides, we’ve never exactly been one for conventions here, and that’s okay.”

“I know that,” she mumbled, looking away from him slightly. It didn’t mean she didn’t have this stupid desire to do it.

Eren placed his hand under her chin bringing her gaze back to his. He leaned in to press a kiss to her lips that still made Mikasa’s heart skip a beat; that or the baby was just kicking her again. “But,” he said as he pulled away, walking over to the oven and grabbing an apron off the hanging rack. “If you want to make cookies, then we’ll make some cookies.”

“Eren, you don’t have to-”

He shook his head before she could finish though. “I’d love nothing more than to make cookies with my girls.” He reached out to rub his fingers against her stomach as he walked by. “Besides.” He grabbed the bowl Mikasa had tossed aside and started to empty the batter in the garbage. “I used to do it all the time with my mom, even before you lived with us.”

Eren started to clean the bowl in the sink while Mikasa tried to wipe her hands on her apron. “What recipe were you using?”

She gestured to the batter coated book on the counter.

Eren took the clean bowl and looked over at the recipe with a frown. “Maybe we’ll try a different one.” He flipped through the pages a little bit before stopping at one. “Here we go, a little bit easier, still festive, and we have all the ingredients.”

Mikasa looked over the picture. “That one looks nice.”

“The trick with ingredients it to do them in order.” He ran his finger down the list. “Add them in the bowl as it says on the list.” He started to measure out the flour. “Why don’t you take the liquids and I get the dry ingredients?”

Mikasa nodded as she reached for the set of measuring cups Eren wasn’t using and started to pour the appropriate ingredients into the proper measures. “Did you two have fun at the park?” Mikasa asked, finally feeling like she didn’t want to throw things at the wall.

“Oh yeah, we made a snowman, had a snowball fight, built a snow fort, all the good things about the snow.” Eren was pouring the flour out, puffs of it hitting his face.

She reached over to brush some of it off his face but he only squeezed the bag at her causing the flour to puff out and cling to her apron and face. “Eren!” she cried but it was quickly taken over by her laughter.

“That’s what I like to hear.” He was grinning again and Mikasa couldn’t even bite back her smile if she tried.

“You’re cleaning the floor now,” she said..

“It was worth it. Ready?” He held up the bowl towards her.

Mikasa nodded and poured in her ingredients into the bowl whenever Eren called them out. She peered in when everything was put together. “It looks better already.”

He grabbed the discarded spoon and started to mix the materials together. “Let’s see if it will taste better too.”

“I hope so, I’m sick of tasting bad cookies.”

“I’m sure they didn’t taste that bad.”

Mikasa gave him a look. “I appreciate you getting in your good husband quota but they were pretty disgusting.”

Eren chuckled as he looked down into the bowl, trying to get all the dry batter into the rest of the batter so it would all stick together. It was looking more like cookie dough that anything Mikasa had made previously. Of all things, it somehow didn’t surprise her that Eren was good at baking. Despite the desire to do it on her own earlier, she was grateful for his help like always.

“Here we go,” Eren said as he put the bowl down on the counter. He dipped his finger in and popped a small bit of matter into his mouth. “Mmmm, okay that’s good, here.” He reached back into the bowl and put a bit more on his finger and reached like he was going to put it in her mouth but rubbed it on her cheek instead. “I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be eating raw eggs,” Eren said as she went to wipe it off her face.

A smirk crossed her lips as she looked up at him. “I’ll have to find other ways then.” She reached her flour and batter coated fingers up to his face, pulling him into her as her lips met his. She could still taste the lingering spices, sugar, and flavor on his lips and on his tongue. The rest of it was Eren, but of course she loved that too.

“Mmmm,” Mikasa echoed against his lips as she pulled away slightly. “That is good.”

He placed his arms around her lower back to pull her in as close as he could. “I agree.” He moved to kiss her again while her hands reached up to run through his hair.

That was until sounds of disgust made Mikasa turn her head to the doorway behind them.

“I thought you were making cookies, not kissing,” Nicolas said looking like he had smelt something awful.

“Who says we can’t do both?” Eren asked but Nicolas still wrinkled his nose.

“Cookies sound more fun.”

“I can guarantee you won’t feel that way forever.” Mikasa laughed as she reached down to pick Nicolas up and place him down on the counter so he was up at their level too. “But cookies are good for now.” She dipped her finger into the batter and went to give him some, but dabbed it on his nose instead.

“Hey!” he laughed, trying to reach it with his tongue.

Eren reached over with a finger full of batter too but swiped it on his cheek.

Nicolas was nearly rolling with laughter before he just reached a finger up to get the batter off. “Mmmm, Mama, that’s really good.”

She knew she couldn’t take all the credit but Eren wrapped his arms around her from behind, his hands resting on her swollen stomach and making the baby kick where his touch was. “See, so don’t ever let anyone say your mama can’t bake.”

Nicolas wiped the batter off his nose and stuck it in his mouth, his noises of approval clearly agreeing. “Can I have more?”

“When the cookies are done, there’ll be nothing left if you eat all the batter,” Mikasa said, reaching over to ruffle his hair.

He looked like he was contemplating it for a moment before giving a wide grin. “Can I have some more?”

“A for effort, kid,” Eren snorted.

Mikasa felt Eren place a kiss on her neck, as Nicholas let out noises of defeat. As much as she wanted to do this on her own, she had to admit, this was a lot better. 


	60. I'll Be Home for Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 21 – I'll Be Home for Christmas
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post series in a happy world  
> Words: 2983  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when my OTP hasn't been together in almost a year. I am forced to write sappy crap like this which also holds the record for the longest of the month. Whatever. It's so cute I wanna die. I just want a reunion dammit. Also, this won't be the last holiday fic for them! I have my Secret Santa on Christmas Day and a New Year's one too :3

_I’ll Be Home For Christmas_

Mikasa really should’ve expected it on Christmas morning of all things, but when the small hands started grabbing at her blanket, she still thought it was just a bit too early.

“Mama!” Another few tugs on the blanket. “Mama, wake u-up! It’s Christmas!” This time Carla decided to just jump up on the bed, throwing her body on to Mikasa. “Ma-ma! C’mon!”

“Okay, okay,” Mikasa said yawned, rolling over as Carla started to pull at the sleeve of Mikasa’s shirt. “Good morning to you too.”

The four year old reached up to press a kiss against Mikasa’s cheek. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas to you too, sweetheart.” She pushed herself up in her bed, her daughter latching onto her into a hug. Mikasa leaned over to kiss the top of her head before tapping her on the back. “Okay, let’s go. Your Uncle should be here soon too.”

Carla jumped out of the bed, rushing to the bedroom door. She was nearly jumping with excitement, a wide grin on her face and Mikasa only saw how much she looked like Eren. It was the eyes, the smile, the face, the hair; she was the splitting image of her father. The thought alone made Mikasa’s heart ache, but she still put on a smile.

She pulled back her blanket before Carla came back over to start begging her again. Mikasa’s feet hit the wooden floor of the small Military complex apartment as she followed Carla into the living room where the small but decorated tree stood up against the wall. The tree looked the same as yesterday but the presents that were under tree, those were put there by Mikasa and Armin after Carla had gone to bed.

The effect worked well judging by the way Carla was staring at the gifts with wide eyes. “Mama, look!” she said, tugging on Mikasa’s sleep pants.

“Yeah, I see it,” Mikasa said with a smile, patting Carla on the back. “You want to open them or you want to wait for Uncle Armin?”

She shook her head. “No, no, the _presents_!”

“I know I see them, Carla. It’s Christmas, remember?”

Carla tugged on Mikasa again, this time looking up with her bright eyes and wide grin. “The presents! Daddy, must’ve brought them! He said he would! He has to be back!”

Mikasa felt her heart drop into her stomach as she looked at her daughter’s more than elated face. It was hard enough before the holidays; Eren was gone for months now with no word back on how the mission was and that really was bad enough. Knowing that she had to break her little girl’s heart on Christmas? There wasn’t much that hurt more.

“Carla,” she said, kneeling down in front of the girl. “Daddy’s not home yet. I know he said-”

“Mama, no,” Carla laughed. “The presents! Daddy _had_ to have brought them with him.”

Mikasa took a hold of Carla’s small hands. “Me and your Uncle put them out last night to surprise you.” As if it was hard enough to say, watching the excitement fade from Carla’s eyes was even worse. “Daddy’s not home yet.”

“No!” Carla cried, trying to pull away as her own tears starting to fill her eyes. “That’s not true! He said….he said he would…” It was too late though, the tears already started to roll down her cheeks, sobs falling from her mouth and the presents long forgotten.

Mikasa pulled Carla into a hug, her head falling onto Mikasa’s shoulder as the cries wouldn’t stop. She tried to tell Eren not to promise that he’d be home in time just in case he got held up, but sometimes it was impossible to tell him anything and he went and said it anyway. She couldn’t bear to be mad at him though, not when she’d give anything just to see him. She also couldn’t bear to see Carla so upset on a day where she should be happy; none of it seemed fair. Yet, they were very aware of the consequences of having a family while they were still in the military from day one. Mikasa just didn’t know it could ever hurt so much.

“I mi-miss Daddy,” Carla cried between coughs and sobs.

“I know,” Mikasa rubbed Carla’s back trying to calm her down. “I do too.”

“I take it the presents weren’t a hit?”

Mikasa hadn’t even heard Armin come in over Carla’s crying. “It’s not exactly that,” Mikasa said, adjusting to hold onto Carla and lift her up in her arms so Mikasa could face Armin. Carla buried her face into Mikasa’s neck, the cries lightly muffled now.

Armin looked more confused than anything, probably wondering why the room wasn’t a mess of wrapping paper and boxes by now.

“She thought Eren was back because of the presents,” Mikasa explained, rubbing Carla’s back and trying to comfort her as best she could.

With a sigh, Armin took a seat on a nearby armchair. “He was supposed to be back by now. I made the strategy so he would be back by now.”

Mikasa’s heart clenched. “Do you think…?”

“No.” Armin’s voice was so firm it surprised her. “You know he’d do anything to come back here. He might have gotten lost, but he’s coming home.”

Mikasa nodded and took a seat on the couch next to Armin. Carla seemed to stop sobbing at least, but the sniffling noises told Mikasa she was still crying.

“It’s not dangerous anymore, Mikasa,” Armin said in a softer tone. “We don’t have to live in fear that a delay means what your mind wants to think it means.”

She nodded trying to focus on that thought, like she had been for the past month. The titans were gone; Eren made sure of it. He went out on a mapping mission, not to fight, not to risk his life, just to explore. It was the reason she agreed to stay in the military; Eren and Armin wanted to explore this world that was now open to them and Mikasa wouldn’t have wanted to go on without them. At least here they were given housing and income without having to start all over, something that came in handy when Mikasa found out she was pregnant.

Eren had wanted to take this one alone because it was a long one and he didn’t want to leave Carla alone for so long, but it just seemed like he was leaving them all alone.

“Hey, Carla,” Armin said. “Don’t you want to open any of your presents?”

She shook her head as she looked over to Armin, head still resting against Mikasa.

“No? Not curious at all what’s in there?”

“No,” she said, her voice a little raspy. “Don’t wanna.” At least she stopped crying.

“No? Ah, well, guess I’m just gonna have to give them to Levi then. I’m sure he’ll enjoy the presents.”

Carla’s head shot up. “No!”

Armin started to laugh, and Mikasa knew what he was doing, something she was grateful for. “Well, that settles that. How about we go across the base and get some breakfast? Does that sound good?”

Carla nodded, reaching up to rub her eyes.

“Alright, let’s get dressed then.” Mikasa kissed Carla’s forehead before putting her feet on the ground and watching her run off to her room. Mikasa looked back over to Armin who was sitting back in the chair again. “Thank you.”

He waved her off with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. I understand, I miss him too.”

Mikasa pushed herself up to her feet and headed in her own room to get changed. She technically had the day off but she still put on the old uniform she had been wearing since she was twelve years old and grabbed one of the long jackets off the back of her door before she went into the living room. Carla was already dressed and wearing her own jacket, a smaller one that was made just for her, with Armin helping her blow her nose and dry her eyes.

Mikasa leaned over to wrap the red scarf that she had worn so often around Carla’s neck to keep her warm out in the cold winter weather as Armin tugged his jacket on over his uniform. Mikasa took a hold of Carla’s hand before stepping out into the hallway of the building, Armin locking the door behind them.

“Do you think they’ll have lots of food?” Carla asked, trying to take big steps to keep up.

“I have no doubt,” Armin said, pulling on his gloves that he must’ve had in his pocket. “Lots and lots of food.”

Carla cheered, swinging her hand with Mikasa’s back and forth. Carla seemed to be okay now that she had something to look forward to, but Mikasa knew the day might have a few more meltdowns; she wasn’t sure if one of them would be hers. It would be the first Christmas since she was nine years old that Eren wasn’t there.

She felt a hand on her shoulder as Armin walked beside her.

By the time they made it outside, the sun was high above their heads but it didn’t stop the cold chill. Mikasa had to pull her jacket a little tighter around her to keep out the bitter air. “You okay down there?” she asked, but Carla was just fine, stomping her boots against the patches of snow.

A few others were out either making their way down to the dining hall or heading back; those who noticed Mikasa and Armin gave them salutes of respect before continuing on their way. Really all Mikasa wanted to do was get inside again; sure, it was a pretty short walk but not when the wind started to blow.  

“Mama, look,” Carla said, pointing over to the gate. “There’s people.”

Mikasa  glanced over to the main gate and sure enough it was opening up, people and wagons coming in. “Maybe it’s some supplies,” she said, having to pull Carla a little bit to get her walking again. “Or families coming to visit their loved ones on the base.”

Carla looked up at her. “What if it’s Daddy?”

Mikasa wasn’t sure she could take the look of disappointment in her daughter’s eyes again. “Carla,” she started, trying to explain that sometimes things don’t always work out the way you want them to but Carla seemed to have other ideas.

She pulled her hand away from Mikasa’s and started to dart across the courtyard, her small boots leaving footprints in the snow.

“Carla! Come back here right now,” Mikasa called after her but her four year old was apparently not in a listening mood.

Armin cupped his hands around his mouth and tried to call her name too but Carla wasn’t having it so Mikasa took off after her. Carla would learn quite easily having two parents and aunts and uncles in the military wasn’t all that wonderful; even four year old speed wasn’t too fast for Mikasa.

“If you think you’re gonna have sweets for breakfast than you can think again, little girl,” she said, grabbing a hold of Carla’s waist and pulling her back. The group was getting closer and all they needed was for Carla to spook the horses and cause more havoc.

“No!” she whined, trying to squirm away. “No, Mama its Daddy!”

Mikasa was getting exasperated now. “Carla, for that last time your father isn’t here. Let’s just go eat.”

Carla whined loudly again and Mikasa was about to just pick her up and carry her back to where Armin was waiting but something made Mikasa stop. She looked up to see how close the group entering the compound had gotten and that’s when she got distracted. Mikasa knew that walk, she knew that stride; she couldn’t bring herself to look up further though. She was imagining it, she knew she was.

Before she knew it, Carla wiggled out of her hands and had started taking off towards the group again. “Daddy!” she cried and Mikasa wanted to tell her to just stop it already, to stop building hope up in the both of them but someone else caught her before Mikasa could.

Eren had fallen to his knees, catching Carla before she could get any farther and she jumped into his arms. His arms and thick jacket encased her, his face pressed up against hers as he hugged her. His hair was longer but that was about the only difference; he was still Eren, just like the last time Mikasa saw him. He wasn’t hurt, he wasn’t sick, he was here. He was actually here.

Carla started to laugh as he pressed a series of quick kisses against her face, her cheek, her hair, anywhere he could reach.

Mikasa didn’t even know she was crying until she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. Those eyes she loved so much looked up at her and she had to cover a hand over her mouth to hide her own cries.

Eren stood up, shifting Carla in his arms to be able to keep her close but Mikasa could only remember the first time he wore that uniform; he was twelve and the same height as her, and just as skinny as Armin was. He was twenty three now, and taller than her, and he had to get a new uniform to fit over his chest, his broader shoulders, his arms but he was still the same Eren. She missed him so much.

“Hey,” he said when he stopped in front of her, that familiar smile on his face; Carla was resting her head against him, a fist grabbing a hold of his jacket like she was never gonna let go.

“Hi,” Mikasa answered though it was a little choked.

Eren reached a hand out to brush some tears off her cheek and that was enough. She threw herself at him, much like Carla had, wrapping her arms around him and shamelessly burying her face into his shoulder. He was warm, that warmth which only Eren brought and suddenly the cold didn’t seem so bad, suddenly nothing was so bad anymore.

She felt his arm wrap around her waist, pulling her into him, his lips pressing a kiss against her temple. Carla was chattering on about something, probably something Christmas related and Eren was making the appropriate responses but when Mikasa looked up at him, he was looking back down at her. She wasn’t sure which one of them moved first but all she knew was she was kissing him and everything just seemed right again; Eren was home and just in time.

Carla made some half exited, half whiney noise probably because the attention was off of her and Mikasa felt Eren smile against her lips before breaking away.

“Did you already open your presents?” Eren asked, adjusting Carla against him.

She shook her head.

“No?” Eren looked down to Mikasa looking for more of an explanation.

“It was a little bit of a rough morning. We were missing someone very much,” Mikasa said, reaching out to brush some of Carla’s fallen bangs out of her face. “But its better now, isn’t it?”

Carla nodded her head. “I told you Daddy would be back.”

“You did.” Mikasa looked up to see Eren’s bright eyes watching her. “I’m glad you were.” She was sure no matter how old they were those eyes would always make her melt.

“Where were you guys headed so early?” Eren asked, poking Carla a few times in the side until she was laughing.

“Breakfast with…” Mikasa quickly turned her head to where Armin had been waiting but he had also made his way over, standing off to the side with his arms across his chest and a grin on his lips.

“Hey, buddy,” Eren called, holding his arm out to him. “Come join the party, I missed you too.”

“I’m glad you made it back before the day was over,” Armin said, putting his own arm around Eren to give him a hug. “Did everything go okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything was fine. It went a little unexpected but we can meet about it later and I’ll give you a report.”

Armin waved him off. “It can wait till tomorrow, no worries. I’m just glad you’re home.”

Eren pressed another kiss against Carla’s cheek causing her to laugh in glee. “Me too. Thanks for looking out for my girls, Armin.” He put his arm around Mikasa again as she rested her head against his shoulder.

“Any time. They’re my family too I know you’d do the same for me.”

Eren arched an eyebrow at him. “Are you trying to tell me something? I wasn’t gone _that_ long.”

Armin shoved him with his shoulder making Eren laugh, and it was music to Mikasa’s ears. She missed him so much; she missed this.

“Do you guys still want to go eat or do you want to open presents first?” Eren asked.

“Presents!” Carla cheered.

“Presents it is.” Eren bounced Carla in his arms as he started to walk across the courtyard.

Mikasa took his hand as they walked, Armin following along the other side.

“Do you need to get anything settled with your squad before you go?” Mikasa asked, not really wanting him to go but knowing he still had duties to do.

He shook his head. “I have someone taking care of it. I told them the moment we got back I already had things to do.” He gave her hand a squeeze.

“I knew you’d make it home, Daddy,” Carla said, resting her head against his shoulder again.

“Of course I would. I promised didn’t I?”

“Yeah,” Carla giggled.

Mikasa should’ve known better too, she thought with a smile. After all, when had Eren ever broken a promise?


	61. And Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas Now
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post series in my happy little world where they live happy together in the country okay  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 2561

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY SECRET SANTA MIKA123 :D From my super elusive anon ask, I decided to write Daddy bonding with children, especially a little girl because reasons. You gave such good tropes though it was so hard to pick! I went back and forth on a couple till I had an image of Eren comforting his daughter after having a nightmare and that was it. So here you go, have a Daddy and daughter bonding post series but still in the canon world; there's a little bit of raw emotion but I'm a sucker and everything I write turns into fluff one way or another haha I hope you enjoy! And Happy Holidays to you! 3 The title was chosen from the song because that's what Judy Garland's character in "Meet me in St. Louis" sings to the youngest sister to comfort her on Christmas :3

Eren wasn’t a heavy sleeper, he couldn’t remember the last time he was. Every small noise in the house would wake him up almost instantaneously and he’d have to breath for a moment, remember there was nothing out there he had to be afraid of anymore. It was worse when he and Mikasa first left the military, nightmares that their new reality wouldn’t last, that it wasn’t real, that they weren’t really free. It got better as time went on, as they got used to their peaceful life on the countryside. Yet the older Eren got the less he listened for creaks in the house, noises outside, and the more he listened for small feet and hushed cries.

He was pretty good at hearing the cries of his children before they even left their rooms but sometimes after an exhausting day, it took a small hand pulling at his arm to wake him up.

“Daddy,” a voice cried, echoing through his mind as his weary eyes opened to his dark bedroom. “Daddy.” A whimper and a tug told him exactly who it was.

Eren rolled over in bed, sitting up as he reached up to rub his eyes. “What’s wrong, Carla?” He looked down to see his youngest standing off to the side of the bed, one hand clutching onto his blanket and the other clutching her nightgown.

“I had a bad dream,” she said as sobs fell from her mouth, fresh tears pooling in her wide eyes.

Eren didn’t need much more to wake him up, not when his daughter was so visibly upset. He kicked his legs out of his bed, pushing himself to his feet as he picked up the four year old and headed out the open bedroom door, closing it behind him.

Carla was still crying, pressing her face against his shoulder, hands grabbing onto his shirt.

“It’s okay, it was just a dream,” Eren said softly, one arm holding her up and one hand rubbing her back as he took her down the hall past both her room and Nicolas’ room, downstairs into the dark living room. Eren would’ve normally just let her come into bed with him, but Mikasa hadn’t been feeling well for the past week and he didn’t want Carla waking Mikasa up when she needed to sleep.

“It was,” Carla breathed in a sob, making her cough. “Scary.”

“I know, I don’t doubt that.” He patted her on the back, trying to help her breath a little better. “But it was just a dream, you’re safe now, I promise.”

She was still whimpering but she seemed to settle down a little bit as Eren sat down on the couch with her. He leaned over the nearby table, taking his hands off Carla for a moment so he could light a match and light the candle in front of them, the small flame making the room look brighter. He almost went to go light up the Christmas tree in the corner to make it brighter for her, but it had to be some God awful hour of the morning and his first priority was the girl in his arms. He settled back down against the couch, putting his arms around Carla as he leaned his head against hers.

“Do you wanna tell me about it?” he asked her, keeping her close to him in case she got scared again.

 “What if it makes the monsters come back?”

“Do you think I’d let any monsters hurt you? Or Nic? Or Mama?”

She shook her head furiously against Eren’s shoulder, making him laugh lightly.

“Why don’t you tell me about it so I can help you feel better?” He resumed rubbing her back in circular, soothing motions. If anything, he knew what it was like to have nightmares; as much as he would’ve loved to protect his kids from them, it was almost a guarantee it would happen.

“It was dark,” Carla said, reaching one hand up to rub her eye. “All I saw was these big monsters and they were…they were bigger than houses. They were all over and they…and they wouldn’t stop coming after me.” She breathed in a shaky breath. “I didn’t know where you or Mama or Nic or even Uncle Armin was. The monsters just…just kept coming…and…and…” Carla broke off as a sob shook her body, tears in her eyes again. “They wanted to eat me.” She started to cry again as Eren felt a sharp pain in his chest.

“Hey, it’s okay, sweetheart.” Eren reached one hand up to hold her face up so she’d look at him instead of trying to hide against him again. “Didn’t I promise I’d never let anything hurt you?”

She nodded tears still falling but at least she wasn’t going into hysterics again this time.

Eren reached up to wipe her tears from her cheeks with his thumbs before he leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead. “Carla, there is nothing like those monsters that live in this world, it was just a dream.”

She leaned back against him, still sniffling a little bit but she was calming down again, her hands grabbing onto his shirt again. “Promise?”

He kissed the top of her head, holding her close to him. “I promise.”

It was the truth after all; Eren had made sure of that. He fought so his kids wouldn’t have to live the nightmares that he did, that Mikasa did, that they all did. What he really wanted to know was how did Carla find out?

It sure as hell wasn’t him; Mikasa would’ve killed him for one but he would’ve never wanted to. They decided when she was pregnant with Nicolas that one day they’d tell their kids what happened in the world and what part they had in it, but that age was not four years old; Nicolas was nine and he still didn’t know everything. Armin knew the rules, and Eren was pretty sure Armin wouldn’t go against Eren or Mikasa’s wishes for their kids.

“Carla?” he asked, deciding to just see what she knew.

“Yeah, Daddy?”

“Was that the first time you saw the monsters? Or did you hear something that made you dream of them?”

She shook her head. “I’ve seen them before, but just in bad dreams.”

“So you didn’t hear any scary stories that made you think about them?”

“No.” She lifted her head off Eren’s shoulder, her eyes looking up at him. “Do youknow about the monsters?” Her eyes were his, wide with curiosity, but the rest of her face was Mikasa’s.

“Yeah, I do.” More than you’d ever know _._ “So that’s why I know they aren’t gonna hurt you.” Eren poked her in the side making the girl laugh for the first time since they came downstairs.

Carla didn’t seem to want to let it drop though. “How’d you know them?”

Eren hesitated as she watched him. It’s not like he wanted to lie to his kids, but this was different, this was very different. How could he tell her how many times he was nearly killed, how many times he nearly watched the people he loved die, how much he did watch the people he loved die? “Because.” He looked down at her with a small smile. “I have bad dreams too.”

“Do you see the monsters then too?”

Eren nodded. “I do.”

Carla leaned forward a little bit. “Do they make you scared too?”

“Of course they do, monsters are terrifying.” Eren tickled her sides making Carla laugh and squirm around. “But, I don’t let it get to me because I have people I need to protect, even in my dreams.”

“Like me?”

Eren had to smile at the look in his daughter’s eyes as she looked up at him. “Of course like you, always you.”

Carla jumped a bit in his arms, reaching her arms around his neck as she hugged him.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him, remembering when his parents would do the same when he had nightmares. “Did I ever tell you about your name, Carla?”

She sat back down in his lap, her eyes looking up at him curiously. “I know my name.”

Eren laughed. “Yes, I know you do, but I meant where it came from.”

She shook her head.

“You,” he tapped her on the forehead. “Were named after a very special woman.”

“Who?”

“My mama, her name was Carla Jaeger, just like yours.”

“Really?” Carla was trying to bite back a yawn but Eren saw it; it had to be like two in the morning, he was amazed she was even still awake. Regardless, she looked excited about this new bit of information and Eren couldn’t blame her too much; neither he nor Mikasa talked much about their family for good reasons, it was a little complicated to explain to a child.

“Was she afraid of the monsters?”

It was a decade and some since the day his mother died, but sometimes it still felt like yesterday. Sometimes he still heard her last words. “She might’ve been, but she didn’t let it show. She always did her best to protect me and your mama.”

Carla’s drooping eyes looked up again at him. “She knew mama too?”

“She did, since mama was the same age as Nic is. Your grandma always loved your mama like she was her own daughter and mama loved her too.”

Carla’s look of excitement turned to one of curiosity. “How come I’ve never met her?”

Eren should’ve known that was coming; it was a logical thing to ask after all. “Well, she’s not with us anymore. She died when me and mama were kids.”

“Oh,” Carla said. She looked like she was trying to understand what he said but she was either too young or was too tired to comprehend.

When Mikasa had suggested naming their daughter Carla, it was the most natural reaction to say yes; his mother would’ve loved that. She would’ve loved her grandchildren period, which is what made him sad. She was never given the chance to see himself, Mikasa, and Armin get older; she wasn’t there for their wedding and see them have a family of their own which is all his mother ever wanted for him. She’d be so happy, if she could see.

“Daddy?”

Eren felt a small hand on his face making him look back down at Carla.

She was looking up at him, her forehead furrowed slightly. “Don’t be sad. I love you.”

He had to smile; he didn’t even know his heart could melt until he had kids. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

She settled back down in his arms, her head against his shoulder as another yawn pulled at her lips; this time she didn’t have the strength to hide it from him.

“Feeling better?” He asked, adjusting her so she could fall asleep in a position that would be easy to carry her in.

She nodded. “Thank you, Daddy.” Her voice was a little mumbled and a little hushed, sleep already taking her again.

“Of course, anything for you.”

“Eren?”

Well, that was a new voice, but not an unwelcomed one. He looked up to see Mikasa standing at the bottom of the stairs, still in her nightgown. Eren didn’t even hear her come down, but that didn’t really surprise him. “Hey, what’re you doing up?”

A smile pulled at her lips. “I came to ask you the same.” She walked the short distance to the couch and sat down next to him. “I woke up and you weren’t there, so I went to see where you went.”

Eren held up Carla slightly as to not wake her up again. “She had a nightmare so I took her down her so she wouldn’t wake you up.”

Mikasa’s forehead wrinkled as she leaned forward to brush some hair out of Carla’s face. “What scared her?”

“The same things that used to scare us.”

Mikasa was quiet for a moment as she watched Carla sleep against Eren’s shoulder. “How’d she know?”

“I have no idea, I asked her but she said she didn’t hear about any stories that triggered it.”

Mikasa looked up to meet Eren’s eyes. “Is she okay?”

“Now, yeah, she’s okay. I calmed her down and made her feel better enough to fall asleep again.”

Mikasa sighed as she rested her head on Eren’s other shoulder. “Try to protect them but still the inevitable happens.”

“I told her about my mom,” Eren said as he leaned his head against Mikasa’s. “She always loved the holidays so I figured it was appropriate.” He almost felt Mikasa smile against him.

“I bet Carla liked that.”

Eren laughed lightly. “Which one?”

“Both of course.”

Eren tilted his head to press a kiss against Mikasa’s temple. “C’mon, she’s putting my arms to sleep and I’d very much like to get back in bed.”

Mikasa stood up first though she wobbled a bit on her feet, reaching back out to the couch arm for support.

He stood up, adjusting Carla in his arms before he reached out for Mikasa’s shoulder. “How’re you feeling?”

She waved him off, as she started to head to the steps, on hand on her stomach. “I’m fine, just feeling a little under the weather.” She looked up at him, her bright if not a little sleepy eyes, looking up at him. “Ready to come back to bed?”

“Always.” Eren followed her up the stairs though Mikasa stood by Carla’s door when Eren went to put her back in her bed with a kiss to her forehead. Eren moved by Mikasa in the doorway and looked back into Carla’s room.

“Think she’ll be okay?” Eren asked, looking over to Mikasa.

She met his eyes. “Of course, to her it really was just a dream. She’ll never have the live the reality like we did.”

Eren put his hands around her waist, tugging him closer to her. “That’s why we didn’t wasn’t it.”

She looked up at him. “Among other things.”

He leaned down to press a kiss to her lips but he stopped when he heard a creek come from the hall.

“Mom? Dad? What’re you doing up?” Nicolas yawned from the spot in front of his doorway.

“Your sister had a bad dream,” Mikasa answered, placing her hands against Eren’s chest. “Why don’t you go back to bed? Don’t forget we’re getting up early to go see your Uncle for Christmas.”  

“‘Kay,” Nicolas said with another yawn before heading back into his room, but his head popped out again before he got too far. “Do you know what Uncle Armin got me for Christmas?”

Eren rolled his eyes. “Bed, go on.”

Mikasa laughed before she reached her hands up to Eren’s face before she leaned up to kiss him, not without a noise of disgust from their eldest. “He’s your son,” she said, before walking the short distance down the hall to shoo Nicolas back into his bed.

With a smile, Eren shook his head as he closed Carla’s door. He heard Mikasa saying goodnight to Nicolas from the other room. Eren would’ve never thought what he always wanted was exactly what his mother had always wanted for him.


	62. For Auld Lang Syne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Auld Lang Syne
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa, Ymir/Historia, & Others Implied  
> Setting: Modern Day AU; Direct Sequel to Christmas Shopping  
> Words: 3004  
> Rating: T (Language and implied Sexual Situations)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I got a few people asking for a sequel to that one and at first I was like nah, it's done and I like it the way it is. Then I got this image of Eren shocking Mikasa by kissing her at midnight on New Year's Day and I thought this would be a good setting for that. This is also the one I wrote and lost and had to rewrite but whatever, I still like it. HAPPY NEW YEARS MY DEARS. You make being in this fandom totally worth it ^^
> 
> Also the game they are playing is a real game called "Geek Out" where you get a challenge to name a certain amount of things. You go around the table and the next person can fold or raise the amount they can name; when the last person backs out, the person who betted the most has to name that number of things to win the round or get a negative point if they were just bluffing to get the next person to up their bet. Its super fun, and super fun when you've been drinking haha (but distracting it took me like 5 minutes to name 18 fictional orphans and four of them are in this fic xD)

 “It’s almost time!” Connie exclaimed as he jumped up on the coffee table. “Almost time to ring in the New Year!”

“How about we not break something this year,” Jean grunted, pulling Connie off the table while trying not to have him spill his drink everywhere.

Mikasa was pretty sure that wouldn’t happen, not when Connie and Sasha already started counting drinks on their other hand and Reiner tried to bench press the couch Annie and Bertholdt were sitting on twice now. Jean drew the short straw for this party, forcing him to be the designated house watcher to make sure everyone behaved themselves. At least he had Marco who volunteered to help but he was in for quite a job regardless.

Mikasa was leaning up against the kitchen doorway keeping an eye out in case anyone wanted more food brought out. Their traditional New Year’s party was at Sasha’s house this time meaning they got to use her father’s kitchen; as a hunter and a chef, he had the biggest kitchen Mikasa ever saw. Everyone else seemed to be pretty preoccupied though. Eren, Armin, and Sasha were sitting on the ground around another coffee table playing a game with Annie, Bertholdt, and Ymir on the nearby couch. Jean took a seat on the other couch with Marco while Connie was dancing to the sounds of the TV hosts talking about the ball dropping. Historia left the room but Mikasa wasn’t sure where she went.

All and all it was a typical gathering.

“You are such a liar, Eren Jaeger!” Armin said with an outrageous laugh, telling Mikasa he had a bit more to drink than usual. “You do not know more _Star Wars_ planets than me.”

A _very_ typical gathering.

“C’mon, buddy, who do you think watched all those movies with you all the time?” Eren said in mock outrage, shoving his shoulder into Armin’s. “I know seven planets. I got this.”

A grin spread across Armin’s lips. “Then I know eight planets.”

Eren took a sip from his drink as he contemplated the bet. He clearly hadn’t reached the point in his playing where his thought process consisted of “I will top any bet given dammed if I know it or not but I have to win” quite yet but that smile told Mikasa all she needed know; everyone else had folded so it was down to just him and Armin.

“Nine.”

Armin gestured for Eren to go on with it.

“Okay,” Eren rubbed his hands together. “Tatooine and Endor.”

“Everyone knows those,” Jean snorted. “Try a little harder will you.”

Eren chose to ignore him. “Uhh…Hoth and…Alderaan…How many is that?”

“Four keep going,” Mikasa called over.

Eren turned to give her a thumbs up before he started to think again. Sasha started throwing some popcorn his way which only distracted Eren making him try to catch it in his mouth as opposed to actually giving answers.

“Keep going already,” Ymir said.

“Hey, Mikasa.” Historia’s voice nearly made Mikasa jump, not quite expecting the shorter girl to pop up next to her.

“Oh, hi,” Mikasa said, giving a small smile. She didn’t quite know Historia and Ymir as well as some of the others, only having met them this year in college. Everyone else, save for Marco who was also a new addition, Mikasa knew since high school. “What’s up?”

“Naboo,” Eren said.

“Don’t bring the prequels into this, doesn’t count,” Jean called out.

“Don’t be such a fucking hipster, it still counts.”

“I’m not good at this game,” Historia laughed lightly. “It’s been fun to watch though.”

“I normally don’t play either,” Mikasa shrugged. “I tend to just get turned into the referee.”

Historia laughed. “They seem like they would need it, what with the fights, side stories, and food throwing.”

“Cloud City?”

“Boo, Eren, that’s not a planet!” Sasha exclaimed causing everyone to start to call out similar heckles.

“Okay, okay, shut up! Dantooine, there. That’s…uh…”

“Seven,” Armin answered.

“Oh wow!” Historia exclaimed reaching over to Mikasa’s arm, her fingers around the charm on her bracelet. “It’s beautiful, where did you get it?”

Mikasa couldn’t have fought the smile off her face even if she tried. She still remembered how she felt opening the small box on Christmas morning and being more than a little surprised to see such a beautiful bracelet sitting there. She knew he was just being nice but for a moment she liked to think maybe it was something more. “Eren got it for me for Christmas.”

Historia made an understanding noise. “I’m sorry, I would’ve assumed but I didn’t know you were together.”

“Oh, oh no.” She felt her face heat up suddenly at the accusation. “We’re not…he wouldn’t have…we’re just friends.”

The heart and wings charm fell back against Mikasa’s arm as Historia let it go. She didn’t really look like she bought that at all. “I mean, you know him better than me but normally friends don’t give just a friend jewelry like that.” She shrugged and gave Mikasa a wave before heading back over to the couch; she didn’t get too far though, Ymir grabbing a hold of the small blonde to pull Historia down on her lap.

“And Dagobah! That’s nine! Gimmie my damn card.”

Sasha tossed the card at him that Eren had to reach up to catch, but he seemed perfectly okay with that.

Mikasa glanced down at the bracelet that rested on her arm since the day she was given it. Historia was wrong; Mikasa did know Eren better, of course she did, and she knew he very well didn’t mean anything by it. She just had to keep telling herself that, otherwise it just hurt too much to hope; Mikasa learned that long ago. She let herself hope briefly after he gave it to her, even Aunt Carla and Uncle Grisha had some implicating comments to say but Eren shut them all down. Mikasa just decided to treasure it as a gift from her best friend, that’s all she could do.

“Okay, that was the last round. Who won?” Annie said, tossing her cards onto the table. “Let me guess, Armin.”

Armin held his handful of cards in front of his face and his eyes told he was grinning behind them.

Eren reached over to shove Armin’s head with his hand causing the blond to laugh even more.

“Hey, look at that,” Reiner said, looking around the coffee table to the TV. “Half an hour till midnight. Almost there.”

Connie cheered, his body draped over the armchair that was right by the TV but he looked more like he was going to fall asleep than anything.

“Time to get the champagne ready,” Sasha said jumping up to her feet but nearly falling over trying to do so.

“Maybe someone with steadier hands so we don’t have a champagne river in the kitchen,” Ymir snorted. “Though, I suppose that could be fun.”

“I got it.” Annie stood up, tapping Bertholdt on the back to follow her into the kitchen.

Mikasa went to go after them, figuring there were quite a few people here to find glasses for and pour the drinks but really she couldn’t get the hot feeling out of her cheeks or the way her stomach fluttered every time Eren said anything. This is what she got for having a ridiculous crush on the boy she lived with since she was nine years old.

“Mikasa!” Eren called, stopping her in her tracks. He was leaning his head back towards her, gesturing for her to come join them.

As if she’d ever say no.

She tossed her empty cup in the garbage bag hanging on the kitchen door, before going to sit between Eren and Armin. “How many cards did you get?” Mikasa asked, leaning over Eren’s shoulder. She tried to ignore the way her heart started racing at the close proximity; it didn’t work very well.

“Three. I don’t think I’ve ever come close to beating him,” Eren rolled his eyes, jutting his thump towards Armin.

“It’s okay, Eren,” Marco said from his spot on the couch. He put his hand up over his mouth, blocking it from Jean. “I can’t beat him either.” He tried to mouth it but it clearly didn’t work as Jean sent the back of his hand towards Marco, hitting him in the stomach. It couldn’t have hurt though because Marco was laughing.

“How’s it going in there!” Sasha shouted, much too loud, towards the kitchen.

“Working on it,” Bertholdt said back.

Sasha sat back down satisfied for the time being as she took a sip from her glass she had on the table.

“What didn’t you play with us?” Eren asked, shifting his body so he was facing her as he picked up his own glass from the table.

“Even I can’t beat Armin,” Mikasa shrugged. “Plus whenever I do you always just try to get me to tell you the answers anyway.”

“I knew it,” Jean accused, pointing his finger towards Eren. “I _knew_ you were cheating last time we all played!”

“Hey, I don’t cheat!” Eren said back but Mikasa elbowed him in the side. “Often.” He looked back at her with that smile on his face that she knew so well.

Armin moved to start picking up the pieces of the game while shaking his head; Sasha tried to help but she kept putting everything in the wrong spot.

“Connie’s out,” Reiner said, nodding towards the boy who, sure enough, was passed out in the armchair. “First one who gets a marker gets dibbs.”

Mikasa was pretty sure she never saw Sasha get up and run so fast.

“Make sure it’s washable!” Marco shouted after her.

“Another year gone, huh,” Eren said, getting Mikasa’s attention again.

Annie and Bertholdt had started to bring in the champagne glasses to pass around.

“Seems like it went too fast like always,” she said, bumping her shoulder into his. “And winter break is going by too fast.”

Eren nodded, finishing up the last of his drink. “Have anything you wished you did this year?”

The question sent a jolt down her spine. Yeah, she told herself, every year I tell myself I’ll just tell you but every year I can’t. “No,” she said instead with a small smile. “It was a pretty good year.”

He watched her like he knew she was lying, which in hindsight he probably did.

“What about you?” she asked.

Eren nodded. “Yeah, but a new year for new things, right?”

Mikasa arched her eyebrow at him; he was acting a little strange. “Where’s Eren who could care less about the coming and going of years save for drinking champagne at midnight?”

He snorted. “You make me sound so petty.”  

“Well,” she shrugged, though she felt the smile pulling at her lips.

“Thanks for being on my side,” he scoffed, but his hands were already at her sides  pushing in all the places that he very well knew would make her laugh.

“Stop it!” she called out, well tried to between her laughter. She tried to pry his hands away but she wasn’t sure if she drank too much or if he just got stronger because he was relentless. “Eren!”

“Okay, knock it off,” Annie said, holding out two glasses their way. “Before you act even more disgusting.”

Eren let go of Mikasa and took both glasses, passing one over to her as Annie headed back into the kitchen.

“It’s getting close,” Reiner shouted, still lounging on the couch and watching Sasha draw God knows what on Connie’s face.

“Last one,” Berthodt said handing one glass to Armin and holding the other one himself as Annie came back with her own glass.

“Please don’t spill anything,” Jean said, holding his glass carefully and turning up the volume on the TV.

“As long as it’s not red wine my dad won’t care,” Sasha waved him off but Jean didn’t really look like that made him feel better. He really should consider himself lucky; this long with no incident wasn’t usual.

“Okay, Sasha, that’s enough coloring. Come over and get your drink, they’re about to start,” Historia said, though she looked like she was more amused than anything.

Sasha added one more line on Connie’s still sleeping face and jumped over to get her drink from Historia. “Ready!”

“Ymir, the drink is supposed to wait till after,” Reiner said, kicking her in the back with his leg.

“Then make them hurry it up.”

Armin snorted. “I’m pretty sure they’re going as fast as 60 seconds per minute will allow them.”

“Okay, guys, shhh,” Marco said, gesturing towards the TV. “It’s starting.”

Mikasa pulled her legs up to her chest as she sat on her spot on the floor, trying to ignore the way her stomach sank as the TV started the countdown and trying to ignore Eren’s arm brushing up against her whenever he moved.

**10**

Mikasa hated this part.

**9**

It was such a stupid thing to kiss someone at midnight.

**8**

Who even came up with that?

**7**

Armin would probably know.

**6**

She gripped onto her champagne glass, eyes focused on the TV.

**5**

And definitely not on the boy sitting next to her.

**4**

The one she had wanted to kiss for God knows how long.

**3**

She felt a familiar touch on her face, pulling her gaze towards Eren.

**2**

Mikasa furrowed her brow as Eren watched her; she opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong but she didn’t get a chance.

**1**

Cheers when up all around the room as music played from the TV, but all Mikasa saw was Eren’s other hand reached up to her face, pulling her closer until his lips were pressed to hers.

She was so surprised she nearly dropped her glass, but it was almost like second nature to just kiss him back like she always wanted to. Mikasa didn’t know why or how but his kiss was so light and careful, his touch soft. She couldn’t hold in the small cry when he pulled away, his hands still on her face.

Eren didn’t say anything; he just watched her, a red tint on his cheeks.

She knew he was trying to gage her reaction. Mikasa placed her glass on the nearby the table; she heard everyone around them still celebrating but she paid them no mind. Her hands were shaking slightly, warmth swirling in her stomach but without a word and without hesitation her lips met his again. Eren seemed to be the one surprised this time but he moved his hands back through her hair, holding her head close as she reached her arms up around his neck.

While it started off as careful, tentative, soft, each motion got quicker, a little more confident. His hands tightened their grasp on her while she pulled herself closer to him. She felt the warmth that only Eren brought; his smell, his taste, all of it had her head foggy, only being able to focus moving her mouth with his, running her tongue against his bottom lip.

A cat call reminded her exactly where she was. She felt a quick surge of embarrassment but Eren didn’t seem to care since he didn’t move.

“For fucks sake get a room,” Jean grunted from somewhere in the room.

“Stop it,” Sasha said. “It’s adorable.”

“It’s about time is what it is,” Armin said.

That just about did it. She felt Eren start to smile against her lips before he pulled away but he didn’t drop his hands from her hair. “Don’t you all have any decency?”

“You’re the one who started making out with your girl in the middle of the room. I don’t think we need to question who has decency and who doesn’t,” Ymir said, with Historia covering her laughter behind her hand from her spot on Ymir’s lap.

Mikasa felt like her face was on fire; she dropped her hands from around his neck as he untangled his hands from her hair. She felt Eren’s gaze on her but now she really wasn’t sure what to say to him. She glanced over only to see Eren grinning over at her and it was impossible not to smile back.

Without a word, he reached over to grab a hold of her waist, pulling her closer until his legs were on either side of her, her back against his chest. It was familiar, not being the first time they had ever sat like that, but this time Eren laced his fingers with hers.

Mikasa’s heart jumped into her throat as goose bumps rose on her skin.

“How about…” Eren started, his head close to hers. “This year we give this…” He raised their entwined hands. “A try.”

She turned her head to look at him. He had his eyes on her but his cheeks still looked a little red, his heart pounding against his chest. The charm of the bracelet he gave her was pressed up between their arms.

“Yeah,” she said trying to bite back her smile; it didn’t work.

Those eyes she loved so much brightened up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

This time she wasn’t sure which one of them moved first but his lips where on hers again. It was too bad the groans in the room again made her laugh, pulling away from him lightly. Everything seemed to be a bit brighter now.

Armin had a grin on his lips that was a mix of happy and I told you so. “I’d like to request not to stay in the same room as them tonight.” He ducked a pillow that Eren tossed at his head but the pillow hit the vase on the window behind Armin.

The vase tipped and shattered to the ground.

Eren gave Jean and Marco a sheepish grin. “Oops.”

**“** Goddamnit, **”** Jean grumbled. “One year, just one year, you moron.”

Mikasa was pretty sure she laughed harder than anyone in the room.


	63. I'll Love You Long After You're Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll Love You Long After You're Gone
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series; five years after the defeat of the titans  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 3700

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from Sentinel07 who asked for others to come visit Eren's family that wasn't just Armin. This story really has like no plot but it was still fun to write since I've really only had Armin visit Eren and Mikasa post series. It was both cute and sad, considering I finished this drabble with the spoiler images for chapter 62 fresh in my mind. The title is from "Gone Gone Gone" by Phillip Phillips.

Eren was used to a quiet house. His home wasn’t that big; just a living room, kitchen, a second floor with a bathroom and two bedrooms. Compared to his previous military conditions this place was more than enough, especially since he only shared it with one other person. Mikasa liked the quiet, like he did, keeping their home peaceful; well, mostly peaceful.

Which is why Eren nearly jumped out of his own skin when a loud knock rang through the house. He stared at the door from his spot in the kitchen, not quite sure what to do. Mikasa left for the market before he even woke up and she wouldn’t need to knock, it was her house. The other villagers never came out this far from town, nor would they have reason to; both he and Mikasa preferred to keep to themselves.

The knock came again, a little softer this time and he also heard some bickering right outside the door. Eren cautiously walked across the room, his bare feet padding against the wooden floor. He thought for a moment he should grab some kind of weapon but if it was just some lost kids he didn’t want to get the crazy man in the woods title. Besides, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t need one if they were dangerous; he hadn’t been away from the military for that long.

Eren slowly opened the door trying to see if he could tell who was there. The door wasn’t even fully open when he felt arms around his neck, a body slamming against him.

“Eren!” the voice cried.

He barely made out the thick head of brown hair before the owner buried her face in his chest. “Uh,” Eren looked up, his hands still extended out not touching her and wondering what the hell was going on but a familiar laugh brought the pieces together.

Armin was standing off to the side, his long hair pulled up into a ponytail and a sack over his shoulder. Jean was next to him, a little taller but as gruff as ever which would only make the girl gripping onto him one person.

Eren reached down to pat her back. “It’s good to see you too, Sasha.” His heart rate started to come back down as Armin walked over, Jean following behind.

“Sorry,” Armin said with a smile that didn’t look too sorry. “When they found out I was coming out here they begged me take them with him.”

“Sasha begged,” Jean clarified. “I just wanted time off from work.”

She snorted, pulling herself off Eren. “He begged too, don’t listen to him.”

Jean opened his mouth to fight but Armin elbowed him in the ribs instead. Eren was suddenly aware of just who was bickering outside his door, his old friends. “Here, come in,” he said holding the door open for him. “Sorry, you guys nearly gave me a heart attack.” He let Sasha and Jean in before clasping an arm around Armin’s shoulder. “I knew he was coming sometime soon but not you guys too, so please, make yourselves at home.”

Jean sat himself down on the couch, placing the two bags he was holding off to the side but Sasha was still standing, looking around the house.

“Where’s Mikasa?”

“She left this morning to go to the market; she’ll be back soon I’m sure. Just try not to give her a heart attack too.”

Sasha sat down next to Jean with a sheepish smile. “Sorry, it’s just been so long since I’ve seen you two.”

Eren shut the door as Armin plopped down in an armchair. “It’s been what? Five years now?” While he might've been terrified of them at first, seeing Armin’s grin, Sasha’s bright eyes, even Jean’s fake disinterested face made him realize how long they had been away from their friends who decided to stay in the military.

“Five years,” Jean echoed. “It doesn’t seem that long really.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Eren stood by the couch as he tried to keep an eye on the window where he could see the path; all he needed was for Mikasa to get surprised too. “So tell me what have you guys been up to?”

“Don’t you want to wait for Mikasa so they don’t have to tell it twice?” Armin said.

“You just want to see her more than me don’t you.”

“She is better company.”

Eren snorted turning towards the kitchen. “I don’t have much at the moment but are you guys thirsty? Hungry?”

“Tired,” Sasha said, her back hitting the couch. “You guys live in the middle of nowhere.”

Eren leaned back against the counter. “That was kinda the point.”

“Does anyone bother you out here?” Armin asked.

Eren shook his head. “Nah, no one in town recognizes us, at least not by face.”

“Well, you aren’t eighteen anymore either,” Sasha shrugged. “So I think that’s natural. Maybe if you still wore the uniform, but not anymore.”

“I don’t think his old one would fit him anymore,” Armin laughed at the though. “He’s a little taller than he used to be.”

“Look who’s talking. Remember when you were the shortest of us three?”

“Well, Mikasa hasn’t grown all that much since then has she?” Jean asked.

“She’s still around the same height, same build as when she was eighteen but I doubt she’d get into it right now.”

Armin arched an eyebrow. “Whys that?”

Dammit. This was a really stupid conversation to get cornered into. He couldn’t just keep quiet now but Mikasa would also kill him if he let it slip with her not here. “She’s gained a little bit of weight.” Jesus, she was still gonna kill him.

“Eren,” Sasha exclaimed. “You can’t just say stuff like that about your girlfriend, nor would I recommend it about Mikasa in general.”

Oh thank God, Armin didn’t tell them yet; at least he could get out of this hole without much more future pain. “Wife you mean.”

“What?” Sasha’s forehead was furrowed as she looked at him.

“You said girlfriend, Mikasa’s my wife.” Eren held up his hand, the plain gold band in clear sight before Sasha could accuse him of lying. Instead, she turned on Armin.

“You never told us that!”

“I figured you'd assume, plus you never asked,” Armin said, catching the pillow Sasha threw at him.

“How long?” Jean asked. He was still acting disinterested but Eren could tell that was the case.

“About five years.” Eren could see a figure walking up the path, a basket full of various market goods on her arm. He pushed himself off the counter and headed towards the front door to give her a quick heads up about their surprise guests but the door swung open before he even got there.

“G’morning!”

Eren dropped his eyes from Mikasa still walking up the path to the brown haired boy who was running inside the house. “Good morning to you too, kid.” Eren leaned down to grab the small boy who ran right into his arms. He stood back up taking Nicolas with him. “Did you find something good at the market?”

“Yeah,” he said, holding out a bright red apple towards Eren’s face. “I picked this one for you.”

“Well, thank you.” Eren leaned his head down to where his son was holding the apple. He took a bite out of fruit causing Nicolas to erupt into a fit of laughter. “That’s delicious; you’ve got a good eye. I hope you helped Mama picked out all the best fruit.”

Nicolas nodded furiously as Eren pressed a kiss against his forehead before turning back to his visitors.

“I don’t think I even have to ask,” Jean said with a shake of his head but for once there was a slight smile on his lips. “He’s like a smaller version of you, Jaeger.”

“Let’s hope not, I don’t think even I could handle me as a kid.”

“Armin!” Sasha stood up to her feet, clearly upset with the blond again. “Why didn’t you tell us they were married _and_ had a baby!”

Armin was on his feet too but not because he was paying attention to Sasha. “Why didn’t _you_ ,” he pointed his finger at Eren. “Tell me you were having another one!”

“Because some people like surprises,” Mikasa’s amused voice came from the doorway. She had one hand on her basket but the other was resting on her swollen stomach. “Though I think you might win on surprises, Armin.” She placed her hand over her mouth at the sight of both Jean and Sasha in her house.

Armin carefully took her basket for her before he pulled her into a hug. “Those two where just tag alongs who wouldn’t shut up until I let them come with me but this...” Armin gave her stomach a rub. “Is much more exciting.”

Eren felt Nicolas burry his face into Eren’s neck. “What? You gonna be shy now?” He glanced down but the boy was not moving from his spot. “You know your uncle, it hasn’t been that long.”

Armin reached out to scratch at Nicolas’ side as he walked by to put the food in the kitchen causing the boy to squirm and laugh against Eren.

“Mikasa,” Sasha said, though she sounded more like she was about to cry than anything which Eren understood, they were the only girls left from their training class. He wasn’t sure if it was because Mikasa already had a child and another on the way, or if it was just because it was the way she always was but he couldn’t help but notice how much she looked like a mom when she opened her arms to Sasha.

“How old is the little guy?” Jean asked from his new spot leaning against the couch near Eren.

He shook his arms a bit to get Nicolas to come out of hiding. “Hey, Jean asked you how old you are. You gonna tell him?” Eren watched Nicolas’s green eyes moved from Eren to Jean and back to Eren again. The boy shook his head and tried to hide his face again.

“C’mon,” Eren moved one of his hands holding Nicolas and tickled his side causing him to cry out in laughter as he tried to move away from Eren’s hands, the apple falling to the floor long forgotten. “This is Jean; he was in the Scouting Legion with me, Uncle Armin, and Mama. He’s a friend.”

Nicolas’s eyes lit up at “Scouting Legion” like Eren though they would; Nicolas sat up in Eren’s arms as the boy looked at Jean with much more interest. “I’m five,” Nicolas said holding one hand up to show he meant five.

Jean looked up to Eren with an arched eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Eren rolled his eyes; though he could hear Armin laughing in the kitchen. “I asked Mikasa to marry me before we found out she was pregnant.”

“Were you really in the military too?” Nicholas asked, his wide eyes still on Jean.

“Yeah, I still am actually. So is Sasha.” Jean pointed over to the girl who was still talking to Mikasa.

“Do you have stories?”

“Of course, we have stories,” Sasha exclaimed, probably hearing her name triggering her attention to them. “And we’ll tell you all the stories you want…provide they pass your mom and dad’s approval.”

“They don’t like it when you tell Nic stories of when they used to get in trouble,” Armin snorted. “Trust me.”

“That’s because he has a long way to go before he reaches those years,” Mikasa said, walking to meet Armin in the kitchen but Eren put a hand on her arm to stop her as he leaned in to kiss her.

“Are you guys hungry at all?” Mikasa asked turning to face the others.

“Already have it under control.” Armin waved a cucumber he was slicing over his head.

“Armin, you’re a guest, get out of there. I can handle it.” Mikasa didn’t really look annoyed, more amused than anything.

“And you didn’t tell me you were pregnant again. Go sit down and relax, I can cook.”

Mikasa looked like she was going to fight again, and she probably would have until Armin sat down put Eren put a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of the kitchen. “You’ve been out all morning, sit down to relax and let Armin have his way.” Eren hoisted Nicolas up who had been falling down in his arms and walked over to the other couch in the room to sit down. Eren adjusted the boy so his legs were kicked across Eren’s legs, Nicolas’ head still on Eren’s shoulder signaling Nicolas didn’t want to move at all while Mikasa sat down next to them.

“I’d ask what you've been up to,” Sasha said, and grin on her face and taking her seat back on the couch with Jean following suit. “But I think that’s pretty obvious.”

Eren snorted. “We have a bit more free time than we did in the military and sometimes this…” Eren shook his arms a bit causing Nicolas to whine as he reached up to rub his eyes, his head falling against Eren’s shoulder. “Is what happens.”

“Like that ever stopped you before,” Armin said from the kitchen.

Jean groaned. “Jesus, can we change the subject. There are about a thousand more things I’d rather think about.”

Sasha elbowed him in the arm. “This is exciting, moron. A new generation that has no fear of what we grew up fearing.” She looked back to Mikasa. “How much longer do you have?”

“Around four months,” she answered, her fingers lightly tapping on her stomach.

“Bets on the gender?” Jean asked, leaning back into his seat on the couch.

“A girl,” Eren said earning a light hit on his arm from Mikasa. “What? He asked my opinion and that’s what it is.”

“It’s only because you’ve always insisted on it being a girl.” Mikasa was still smiling though.

“Well, if I’m right, I’m right.” He reached over to rub his hand over her stomach; it only took a moment to feel the familiar feeling of a foot kicking against his hand. “I think she agrees.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes as she looked back to the others. “What about you? How’s the military been treating you?”

Eren expected Nicolas to jump up at the word “military” but when Eren glanced down, the boy’s eyes were already closed, his breathing steady against Eren’s neck.

“Same old, same old,” Sasha waved off the question. “Well, not _exactly_ same old because we don’t fight Tit-” she cut off with a glance to Nicolas. “How much does he know?”

Mikasa reached down to brush some of Nicolas’ hair out of his sleeping face. “He knows some. He knows we were in the Scouting Legion and that we lived within the walls. He knows we fought for humanity but we haven’t had the heart to tell him just what we were fighting.” She leaned back and placed a hand on her stomach again. “No need to scare him over the past.”

“There’s a school down in town and next year he’ll be old enough to go so he’ll have to learn eventually because I’m sure they’ll teach the students about the world we used to live in. I’ll tell him before then but for now he’s happy with the stories we tell him,” Eren said. Him and Mikasa had talked for many nights about how they should tell their son about the hell they lived through but it could wait. The past was done and over with.

“Oh my God,” Sasha said, her eyes shining. “You’re such parents. It’s hard to believe you’re the same people in our training class.

“They’re the same people,” Armin said, sitting back down in the armchair. “Just a little older and wiser now.”

“Older maybe, not wiser,” Eren snorted. “But seriously, enough about us. What’s going on with you guys and everyone else?”

“Well,” Sasha looked up in thought as if trying to recall things that would be interesting. “The military branches are still the same. The Stationary Corps still take care of the walls and also was tasked with the rebuilding of the destroyed areas. The Military Police still handle the people through they're working on relocating people who want to leave the walls or just move to another section for more room. Us at the Scouting Legion are off mapping and checking out the new areas as I’m sure, thanks to Armin, you're well aware of. We’re getting a lot more members now that the death toll has shrunk incredibly.”

“We’ve been out on a few missions over the years and the mapping process has grown incredibly, but that’s mainly due to Armin,” Jean said to which the blond waved him off. “Hanji is still the Commander, running almost all the different sections of the Scouting Legion where Levi is right under her but he mainly takes care of the missions outside the walls and pushing our territory farther.”

While Eren was glad that things were progressing good to take back the outside world for humanity, there was something he had wanted to know, something that was hard to ignore now that two of the remaining and still active 104th training corps was sitting in front of him. “Any luck with finding the others?”

Jean glanced over to Sasha who glanced down at her hands. Clearly there was no good answer here.

“There been no trace of Reiner and Bertholdt since the last time we saw them around six years ago,” Armin said, leaning forward in the chair. “Where they went or if they are even still alive is a mystery. The same would go for Ymir and Annie.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Sasha said, looking back up. “We thought we had a trail left by Annie at one point.”

“Well, that was a little complicated,” Armin said not looking too believing himself. “Just because a distant seemingly blonde figure led your lost squad out of the woods doesn’t mean it was her. The world is very vast now; I don’t know if we’ll ever know what happened to them.”

Eren felt the way the mood in the room dropped significantly speaking about their old comrades; they weren’t the only ones, but the others they at least knew what happened to. As long ago as it was, it was hard to forget the things they saw, the people they lost. It really only made Eren want to make sure his family had the most normal life imaginable, something both he and Mikasa never had.

“I think your water is boiling, Armin,” Mikasa said, gesturing to the steam coming from the kitchen with a small smile.

Armin jumped up to his feet, rushing over to the lunch that was momentarily forgotten.

“Hey, Eren,” Sasha asked, her voice a little more hesitant than it had been. “Can I ask you something personal?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” His forehead furrowed though, he wasn’t quite sure what Sasha would have to ask about first before just asking him.

“Do you ever wonder if…” she gestured to the sleeping boy in Eren’s arms. “Is gonna take more after you in certain regards?”

Which Eren knew she was delicately asking if he thought being a shifter was hereditary. “It’s something I thought about the entire time Mikasa was pregnant. I was terrified it was. I’d never want to subject my children to that.” He felt a warm hand on his leg which he recognized as Mikasa’s without having to look.

“We had Hanji come out when he was born and she couldn’t see anything abnormal,” Mikasa explained. “She told us to keep an eye out but nothing out of place for a growing boy. Hanji thought because Eren was injected with it, that he couldn’t pass it on.”

“Lunch is just about set if you guys want to move in here,” Armin called, stirring something in a pot but Eren couldn’t exactly tell what it was; not that he was gonna question it, Armin was always a better cook than him and Mikasa.

“How long are you two planning on staying?” Mikasa asked, pushing herself up to her feet.

“We’re down at an inn in town so maybe a week or so,” Sasha said, her face looking bright again.

“A week at the least, I need my vacation.” Jean was already headed over to the kitchen, Armin handing him plates to put on the table.

Eren hoisted Nicolas back up in his arms as he stood up, the boy not waking even a little bit. He moved Nic up so his head rested on Eren’s shoulder as he headed for the stairs to put his son in bed before going to eat whatever Armin made up. A laugh caught his attention though; he turned around from his spot on the first step of the stairs to see Jean telling Sasha something that made her laugh, Mikasa’s laugh followed shortly as she set a few things on the table. Armin made a comment too but Eren didn’t hear what it was, he only saw the kids they used to be years and years ago.

It was bittersweet, knowing this room should be filled with so many more laughs. A smile pulled at his lips; he could almost hear Reiner’s deep voice laughing, Bertholdt would make sure he was the one setting the table while Annie sat down trying to look like she didn't care. Connie would be making everyone laugh even harder with some goofy face; Nicolas would've loved him. Ymir would've been snarky but underneath it she would've been happy as long as Historia was happy, and she would've helped Armin cooking in the kitchen.

Sasha ushered Mikasa into a chair, taking whatever was in her hands from her before passing them to Jean to place them. He gave some exasperated exclamation but Armin just waved his mixing spoon telling him to listen to the women.

At the same time, it was just good to hear the ones that were still here.


	64. I Take It In But Don't Look Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Take It In But Don't Look Down
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa & Lots of Brot3  
> Setting: Post Series; After Historia gains the crown and the war is won  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 1817

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Ryvius who wanted to see Mikasa looking at Eren and Armin while they all received awards for being humanity's saviors a la the end of A New Hope :3 It was really sweet to write, having Mikasa look at how much Armin, Eren, and herself have grown. I think you all know I don't just love eremika, but I love Armin so much too, and I love his friendship with Mikasa. I loved writing this because I got to write so much Brot3, and I love my Brot3. Title is from "On Top of the World" by Imagine Dragons.

It was a strange feeling getting to this point, getting to be able to celebrate for once. Mikasa peeked into the crack between the wooden doors she was standing behind. She saw lots of people, all dressed up standing off to the sides of the room, a white carpet laid out down the center of the room. She could just barely make out Historia standing at the front of the room, dressed in a gown that made her look even more beautiful than she already was.

Mikasa felt a hand on her shoulder pulling her back. "Are we impatient?"

She turned around to see Eren arching an eyebrow at her. "Just curious," she shrugged. "It's not like Levi told us what we were doing here. I didn't expect it to be so…grand."

"Well, the world is free now and the people want someone to take credit," Armin said from Mikasa's other side. "So here we are."

Eren grunted; he hadn't wanted to be here, not thinking himself much of a hero but he of all people had to be here. He was the one who was the hero. Eren never saw himself that way though, not once throughout any of this. He thought himself a monster many times through their missions but Mikasa could never see him as one; not the boy who saved her life so many years ago. Not the boy who cried over fallen comrades, who constantly hurt himself to save others, who saved her life in more ways than one. No, Eren was always a hero, even if he didn't know it.

"Ready?" a guard by the door asked. He didn't wait for an answer before the large doors swung up, the lights from the throne room almost blinding Mikasa.

Cheers went up in the room as Armin took the first step in with Eren by his side, Mikasa falling in just one step behind. She felt her face heating up at all the eyes she knew were on them but she kept her chin up, watching the warm face of Historia standing in front of her throne. Levi and Hanji were standing off to the side, dressed in their military uniforms as well; Levi didn't look too entertained whereas Hanji was practically in tears. Mikasa came to a stop when Armin and Eren did, just in front of the few steps that led up to where Historia stood.

The crowd went silent when the queen raised a hand. "Armin Arlert," she said with a smile, gesturing for him to come closer to her.

Armin took the steps up until he was kneeling on one knee in front of Historia instead of towering over her like he would've.

"For strategic prowess under the face of certain death, for brilliance on the battlefield that led to…" Historia went on about Armin's great deeds but Mikasa already knew those. She had always known those.

He looked so tall now, his shoulders broader, his small frame filling into his now grown body, his long blond hair pulled back into a ponytail. She still remembered the meek boy she met so long ago, who day dreamed about seeing the ocean, who read to her, who gave her dreams of the outside. He was still there, of course, Armin's sweet spirit, his compassion but he was stronger now, physically and emotionally and smart, he was always the smartest of them all.

He could put things together so quickly and so brilliantly that she had no idea how he did it. It only took a moment in his head and he had everything worked out and could plan out a whole battle plan while others were still thinking where to start. He knew about Annie before anyone even had an inkling, he single handedly saved their lives the first time Eren transformed on a whim of an idea Armin put together; if not for his quick thinking she didn't know where they would be but it was certainly not here.

He never believed in himself, that was his problem. He didn't see what Mikasa and Eren saw in Armin, only ever thinking he weighed them down or held them back. It was the other way around though; Armin was the one who pulled them forward. Without him, Eren wouldn't have his dream to see the outside, the world they were born to. Without Armin, Mikasa wouldn't know what a true friend was, someone who she could trust with her heart's deepest desires and someone who always understood. Armin was always as much of her family as Eren was.

She wouldn't want to see the ocean without Armin by their side.

Mikasa watched Historia place a medal around Armin's neck, the crowd cheering again as he stepped back down beside Mikasa. She slipped her hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze while her face remained forward. She had to smile when she felt him squeeze back.

Historia held her hand up again before she turned to them again. "Eren Jaeger."

Mikasa's heart skipped a beat as she watched Eren walk up the steps. After all these years, he still took her breath away.

He kneeled down in front of Historia and must've made some kind of face because she looked like she was trying not to laugh.

"For bearing the weight of humanity, for showing strength not only in physical aspects but in mental too, for…"

Mikasa barely recognized Eren sometimes; he stood a head and shoulders taller than her, his body that once struggled through physical endurance now had the right amount of muscle for his frame, making his shoulders stand out, his arms, his chest, his legs. His hair was longer now too, though not long enough to pull it back like Armin. What wasn't different was Eren's eyes. They still had that intensity, that brightness, it was just now he had his toothy smile back to go with it.

Despite the changes he went through, she still saw that little boy in there; that boy who gave her so much hope, who taught her to fight, who taught her to love. She lost him so many times, only to have him returned back to her, a little more broken each time, but Eren always stood back on his feet and fought harder than ever for their freedom. He was a hero, he was her hero.

She had been in love with him for a very long time. While she used to try to deny it, to others and to herself, it wasn't worth denying herself one small joy in the world even if Eren never felt the same. She was surprised when he did, when he told her. She was gotten hurt again and he was worried, afraid of losing her whenhe told her. She had never seen him look at anyone like he had looked at her in that moment, like she was precious, like she meant the world to him. She eagerly accepted his warm arms, his careful lips, his apologies, his promises to always be together. She had no idea if they would make it out in the end, but here they were.

Mikasa watched Eren stand back up, a medal similar to Armin's around his neck. He walked back over to his spot on Mikasa's other side as cheers went up once more. She felt his hand on the back of her jacket, giving her a light rub before Historia's eyes met hers.

The room went quiet once more. "Mikasa Ackerman."

She took her steps forward, one knee down just like her boys had done before looking up to meet Historia's gaze.

The queen was still smiling. "For being a warrior who couldn't be matched, for showing strength against every adversity…"

Mikasa could barely listen to her own list of achievements because it was never about the achievements for her; like Armin and Eren, it was never about the glory. It was about keeping the ones she loved safe, about doing whatever it took to make sure their goals were achieved, about making sure Armin believed in himself, about letting Eren know how much he was treasured. It was about fighting till they could watch the sunrise over the ocean with no fear, only freedom.

She knew she hadn't always done the right thing; putting Eren in front of everything else and not letting him learn to take care of himself, causing him to push her away when she just wanted to be close. They were young though, so young, and now she knew she had grown too. Not in height like the boys, but in inner strength; to know when to protect and when to trust.

Having everything ripped away at such a young age, and gaining something precious in return, Mikasa always had a hard time leaving anything in anyone else's hands but hers. She had to learn relationships didn't work that way. She had to trust her superiors when they made calls she didn't agree with but she knew they had their reasons. She had to trust her comrades to follow the plan, to make everything go smoothly. She had to trust Armin when his plans seemed farfetched because he thought of everything else already. She had to trust Eren to bring himself home, to make it out alive when she couldn't be there to protect him because he was more than capable of it.

"And for loving like no other," Historia finished, placing the medal around Mikasa's neck.

She stood to her feet, the medal heavy around her neck, but her body couldn't have felt lighter. She saw the crowd yelling and cheering around her but her eyes were set on the boys standing in front of her. She was nine years old when she met them, they were eighteen now; it had been almost ten years.

Mikasa walked back down to her spot but she wasn't there for more than a few seconds when Eren wrapped his arms around her in a big hug, lifting her off her feet as she grabbed onto his shoulders for support. She laughed as the crowd kept shouting and clapping, the atmosphere nothing but joyous. It should be; the war was finally over.

Her forehead fell against Eren's as she felt Armin hug her from behind, his head against her back.

"It's done," Eren sighed against her skin.

It was finally done and they had made it out alive. They could finally leave the walls. They could finally see the world, the desert, the ocean, with nothing stopping them.

Mikasa knew the people were still shouting and maybe somewhere calling out to them, trying to get their attention. All Mikasa saw though was Eren, all she felt was Armin's happy laughter against her back.

Her family, the man she loved and her best friend, they were safe. They would be free.


	65. Always and Completely Forgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Always and Completely Forgiven
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Time Travel AU  
> Words: 2244  
> Rating: T (For character death; it has a happy ending, it's me don't worry ;3 )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Krulla Chief requested a time travel AU and from the moment I heard it I knew I needed to do this one. This is an old headcanon of mine, which Mikasa possessed a kinda of time travel ability that was like Homura's (Madoka Magica) where Mikasa constantly reset time whenever Eren died. It was mainly due to no one will ever convince me that's not Mikasa in Eren's opening dream. (Like, he even tells Mikasa her hair got long telling us that he saw Mikasa; you think the boy knows what she looks like.) That and her headaches and her use of "Not this again". I don't really think that's what's going on anymore, too much has been proven against it but with the introduction of the woman who could erase memories from a touch, you never know what Isayama has up his sleeve and I still think the entire underlying plot from that first chapter has everything to do with Eren and Mikasa. The title comes from one of my favorite lines and episodes of Doctor Who :3 because the context of the quote was all I could think about while writing this.
> 
> Also I used direct dialogue from Isayama in italics, but I'm pretty sure everyone knows that scene. That doesn't belong to me, and neither does any of this either. Whoops, 60 chapters and my first disclaimer.

" **And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven."**

**-The Doctor to River Song,** **_Doctor Who_ **

Mikasa stared up in horror as she watched Eren in his Titan form high above her, take a hit to his neck that she knew was fatal. His body dropped to the ground, shaking it right under her feet. The culprit was already leaving, knowing full well what was done, but Mikasa didn't care; all she could do was run to the body that was already evaporating.

Someone called her name behind her; maybe it was Armin, maybe Jean, maybe Levi, she really didn't care. Tears were already stinging her eyes as she found Eren's body, still stuck to the Titan body. She pulled him out, calling his name but even her voice sounded distant as those eyes she loved so much the ones that showed so much passion stared lifelessly back at her.

Mikasa cradled him to her chest as she fell to her knees, realizing too late the screams she was hearing were from her. "Eren, please," she choked, trying to see him through her thick tears. "Please don't leave me."

It was too late though; just like every time she watched it happen, she was always too late.

A sharp pain shot through her head, nearly making her feel like she was gonna pass out. While other times she begged it to go away, this was the only time she welcomed it. Next time. Next time she'd make it to him.

"See you later, Eren."

" _Eren…Eren! Wake up. It'll get dark if we don't go home now."_

" _Huh? Mikasa…Aww, when did your hair get so long…?"_

" _Were you realy so sound asleep that you were still dreaming when you woke up?"_

" _No…but I feel like I just had the longest dream…what was it? Now I can't remember…"_

" _Eren?...are you crying?"_

Mikasa didn't know how it happened; she wasn't even sure why it always brought them back to that one moment in the fields before Carla was killed. She just knew when she leaned over to wake up Eren under that tree, she wasn't sure how many times she had done it. Memories of past quickly faded, leaving her wondering why Eren was crying and for them to go about their days.

She was thankful she couldn't remember it at all times knowing the pain she put herself and Eren through every single time she sent them back, but she also knew she couldn't let him die, not like that, not ever. There were moments that she remembered just what she could do, the moments she felt an intense pain in her head. When Hannes pulled them away from Carla, she could remember that she did this so many times and when Eren was taken from her by people they trusted, she knew it wasn't the first time.

Mikasa wished in those moments she could remember, because then she could prevent so much. She could get Carla out long before she was trapped, they could never trust their once comrades who would grow to betray them in the worst ways. So many lives she could save, so much they could learn earlier than they did but she couldn't. The memories would fade and she'd forget what had caused the pain in the first place.

What she did know when she remembered was why she did it. It wasn't to save everyone's lives or to gain information at an earlier time when they could have used it. Those were fixed events in time that needed to happen to guide them on their way. It was always to save Eren. It was about that one moment when their hope was struck down never to come back again; when Mikasa's whole life came crashing down in front of her.

She saw it in her dreams, she felt how she did when he looked back up at her with no expression; there was no smile, no annoyance, no anger, no compassion, no love, no nothing, he was gone. All she could do was hold him close until the pain in her head came, but it never outweighed the pain in her chest from losing him. She'd wake up in a cold sweat, her breath panting, and tears in her eyes.

Eren was usually there already, sitting up in bed with a concerned look in his eyes; if he wasn't there, she'd always go to find him. He'd ask her what was wrong, and she'd tell him that she honestly didn't know. He'd calm her back down, like she did to him countless times, and she'd lay in his arms until the morning.

The only time she ever fully remembered was the day it occurred. Every time she would wake up with a headache as memories flooded her mind as she remembered the amount of times she had lived her life next to Eren, and the amount of times she had watched him die on this very day. She tried and go to warn him, to let him know this was going to end badly, for him not to go. Sometimes she'd beg, sometimes she'd tell him exactly how she knew, sometimes she'd try and convince him but nothing ever worked; he always walked out that door. How he responded was always different; sometimes he'd yell, sometimes he'd fight leaving their last words as angry ones, sometimes he'd laugh and tell her she was being too worried, sometimes he'd hold her, sometimes he'd kiss her.

"You know how much I love you, Mikasa," he'd mumble against her lips. "Just worry about yourself. I promise I'll be okay." Those were the times that hurt the most, because she knew he wasn't going to be okay.

He never listened; not that she expected him to. This was Eren, stubborn and headstrong Eren. One time she thought he did, she thought she finally got through to him. When Mikasa pulled him out, his eyes were still looking up at her.

"Hey." His voice was raspy as she reached down to pull him against her. "Always looking after me, huh?"

Mikasa hadn't known whether her tears were hopeful or dreading the inevitable but she let out a small laugh. "Always, I always will."

He coughed, blood falling on his shirt, on her hands holding him. He tried to look up at her again, but he let out a hiss of pain that shattered Mikasa's thin hope; he wasn't making it out of this.

"I'm sorry, Eren," she cried, her tears flowing down her face. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything." I'm sorry for making you go through this time and time again.

"Hey." He reached up to weakly wipe her tears away. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm the one who…" He let out a couch that shook his whole body. "Who always makes you cry, when I just want to see you smile."

She had leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. "You are always forgiven." She felt him let out one last sigh of breath before she knew he was gone again. The pain was coming and she was sending them back.

"See you later, Eren _."_

" _Eren…Eren! Wake up. It'll get dark if we don't go home now."_

" _Huh? Mikasa…Aww, when did your hair get so long…?"_

When she could remember, Mikasa wondered if Eren's memory blanks had something to do with what she had done to him every time she sent them back in time. She later found out it was because of what his father did to him and not her and that maybe something was done to her to cause her to have this ability but those thoughts always went as soon as they came.

She woke up on the morning again, tears pooling in her eyes as memories rushing came rushing back to her head. How many times had it been? How many times had she held his body in her arms? How many times had she put them through this horrible life of theirs? Maybe it was her fault. Maybe when she saw him die the only thing on her mind was to go back when he could still smile at her, and something triggered bringing them back to the last moment of peace they had.

This time though, this time she wasn't going to. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to send Eren on an endless loop reliving the worst moments of his life over and over again. This time, she needed to let him go. No matter how hard it was to see him die in front of her, and how hard her life would be without him, she was being selfish. Eren would never live in peace again if she didn't let him go.

By the time she stepped outside her door everyone was already rushing around, trying to prepare to advance of the enemies that were headed straight for their base. It was a surprise attack, except to Mikasa who woke up knowing it was coming. She rushed down the hall, not paying attention to whoever was shouting at her name, she only had minutes to see Eren before he took off with them.

She swung open his door and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him still getting ready.

"There you are," he said, pulling on his straps to attach his gear to. "There a-"

"I know," she nodded, still standing in the doorway.

"Are you ready then?"

"Yeah, just..." She walked towards him, trying not to show the tears she was still fighting back. This was it. This was the last time.

Eren knew something was up, she saw his face soften as he watched her. "What's wrong?"

Mikasa shook her head as she reached her arms around him, his beating heart in her ear. She felt his arms wrap around her, his chin on her head. "Just be safe."

"Always," he said, giving her back a rub. He lingered just a little longer, and Mikasa didn't want to let go when he pulled away. "We should go before Levi comes to find us."

Mikasa nodded, as she watched him walk out that door like she had so many times before.

Everything went the same, the advancement, the battle, the deaths; it was like watching a movie she saw countless times, dreading the result and knowing she couldn't change it. She heard Eren's cry as he shifted into his other form, looming over them as he came face to face with the being that killed him over and over again.

Mikasa tried to concentrate on taking out the Titans in the surrounding areas that keeps storming in, trying to keep herself busy so that maybe once Eren has given his all, they can at least win this one battle and for time to keep moving. She heard his wounded cries and it took everything she had not to look; guilt bubbling up in her stomach that she was abandoning him in his time of need.

She swung through as the Titans around her fell to the ground from her blades, and landed up on one of the trees. She went to take off again, but she saw the beast going for Eren's neck and her heart feeling like it was gonna stop. Mikasa froze where she was, unable to watch anything but the man she loved for countless lifetimes.

Eren recovered from the last hit a second earlier than he ever had, moving his massive arm to the side of the beast's face, and knocking it down. He quickly jumped on it in a way Mikasa had never seen before. Something…something changed. The titans didn't mean anything anymore as she dove for the ground, running across the field to where there were two bodies disintegrating this time. Others were on their way too being led but who looked like Levi headed towards what was once the beastbut Mikasa stopped short of them, her eyes trying to peer through the smoke.

Eren had one hand over his mouth as he coughed through the smoke, his face still with the telltale signs of regeneration. He was walking, he didn't look too hurt, he was breathing, he was walking.

She ran towards him and didn't stop until his arms caught her. He must've seen her coming to catch her like that but her weight still knocked him off balance, both of them falling to the ground.

"Mikasa," he groaned, one hand reaching up to rub the back of his head. "What was that for?"

She was holding herself over him, one of his hands still on her back. "You listened to me." She couldn't hold back the smile on her lips, the choked cry as tears fell down her face, but this time, for the first time, it was because of happiness.

"Hey," Eren sat up, taking her with him, as he held her face in his hands. "What is going on? Of course I did. I wouldn't just leave you here."

She let out a choked cry as her head leaned into his touch. "I'm sorry, I'm just…I'm sorry. I put you through so much."

He leaned in to press his lips to her forehead. "Mikasa, you are always forgiven."

Her eyes widened but before she could say anything, he pulled her into him, his arms tight around her. She held him back, her arms around his neck and her head pressed close to his.

The sharp pain in her head never came.

 


	66. Come to me My Sweetest Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come to Me My Sweetest Friend
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting:Modern Day AU;Prequel to Childhood  
> Words:2578  
> Rating:K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I just updated like yesterday but the tag is an awful mess right now so have some happy, friends :3  
> Ryvius requested a story that explored Mikasa’s diary entry that was mentioned in Childhood and to go over twelve year old Mikasa and her crush on her best friend. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and I had to write it. I also had to channel my inner twelve year old to remember what I wrote in my diary when I was that age. I wrote about my crushes a lot so Mikasa has a lot to say about twelve year old Eren. The title is from “Come to Me” by the Goo Goo Dolls.

_Dear Diary,                                                                                                                             June 28th_

_It’s finally the first day of summer! Not that I mind school too much but it’s still nice not to have homework every night and have to sit all day in a classroom. Now I have more time to hang out with Armin and Eren, we’re even gonna go on vacations over the summer. Mom said her and Aunt Carla are gonna take us to the beach, to the museum which me and Armin were a lot more excited about than Eren, to the zoo, and maybe even a weekend trip where we’ll get to stay in a hotel._

_Mom asked me if I was excited to go onto eighth grade next year cause just one more year and then high school. The high school is a lot bigger than junior high, and has a lot more stuff to do, but Eren and Armin might not be in all my classes like they are now and I dunno how I feel about that. But that’s a whole other year away._

_Dear Diary,                                                                                                                            June 30th_

_We finally planned out the beach trip. Mom, dad, Aunt Carla, Uncle Grisha, and the Colonel all got time off the fourth of July weekend so we’re gonna go spend not only a day at the beach but a weekend at the beach! We’re gonna be staying at a beach house and everything. It’s gonna be just us too, which is how I like it. I asked Mom if Levi was coming too, but Mom said he was too busy in the military to come home for a weekend trip. It really was okay, Levi would just torment Eren if he was there._

_Mom said I should go make friends with girls too but Armin and Eren have been my best friends since I moved here, why would I want other friends? We do everything together. We used to even sleep over each other’s houses all the time till Mom said I couldn’t go anymore since I was a girl and they were boys. I thought it was dumb but Mom said it was the new rule. They only live a house away so we can all still hang out and then just walk home, but it’s not the same. Eren was always warmer than my bed ever is._

_But the girls in my class aren’t bad. I like Sasha, she always makes everyone laugh. Annie keeps to herself and doesn’t talk much to anyone. Krista is nice, most all the guys have crushes on her but she doesn’t seem to care too much to notice. I tried to ask Eren once if he liked her too, but he just looked at me weird and asked why it mattered. I didn’t really know what to tell him._

_Dear Diary,                                                                                                                               July 3rd_

_We spent our first day at the beach today and it was so much fun. The beach house is bigger than I ever expected so that Mom and Dad, Aunt Carla and Uncle Grisha, and the Colonel all get their own rooms. Eren and Armin get to share a room and I have one to myself but I’d rather be with them. They said to just come in with them at night when everyone is asleep, but I don’t know, Mom will be mad if she finds out. I do miss staying up all night with them though._

_We went right down to the beach and we were so excited we forgot sunblock. Eren keeps asking Armin when we’re gonna butter him up and cook him he’s so red. Uncle Grisha had to go out and get him some aloe to help him feel better. I got a little pink but not too much, I spent most the time in the water but I didn’t even know Eren’s skin could get so tanned. He almost looks like another person, but he’s still just as cute._

_Dear Diary,                                                                                                                               July 4th_

_I got in trouble for falling asleep in the boy’s room last night. I told Mom it was an accident but she didn’t believe me. Aunt Carla tried to defend me by saying we were just kids, but Mom seemed convinced that twelve well almost thirteen is not a kid anymore and that we’re too old for that. I think it’s dumb, we’re all just friends. I was so upset that I just went down to the beach myself and sat down in the sand. Aunt Carla came out and sat with me, saying that I should obey my mom because she’s my mom, and that she is right because we’re gonna be teenagers soon and things will start to change. I knew all that, but I still just wanna be with my friends like I used to._

_Aunt Carla told me it was a part of growing up and that it was perfectly okay to have a crush on one of my best friends. I wanted to just burry my head in the sand I was so embarrassed but Aunt Carla laughed and said it was okay. She told me to be patient because sometimes it takes guys a little longer than it takes girls. I apologized to Mom and Dad too and they seemed okay after. It was still the best I had slept in a long time._

_Eren's calling me though. It’s time for fireworks on the beach._

_Dear Diary,                                                                                                                                  July 15th_

_The rest of our trip had gone really well, and we were all sad to go but Uncle Grisha said we could go back next year so at least we’ll have that to look forward to. We did a few more things, like go to the museums downtown. Eren hummed thoughtfully at every art painting we passed by mimicking the other people there until Aunt Carla tugged at his ear telling him to behave himself. He spent the rest of the art section trying to see if he could figure out_ The DaVinci Code _in every picture._

_Armin liked the history section the best and made sure we read every section on the floor or until Eren fell asleep on one of the benches. There were all these garden mazes outside that Aunt Carla let us run around in while she sat down to read. We decided to see if who could find our way out first but I got distracted by the fountains and flowers so I knew I was losing. Eren found me first though. He came up right behind me and asked me what I was doing. He scared me so much that I backed right into him and he had to catch me so I didn’t knock us both over. He was laughing when I turned to face him, his hands still holding onto my waist sending butterflies all over my body and I’m pretty sure my face was as red as the roses that I was standing near. He was smiling though, that bright smile that made me forget everything in my head and I felt so stupid. This was Eren, I never got flustered around him but I can’t even try to deny it anymore._

_I have the biggest crush on my best friend._

_Dear Diary,                                                                                                                                    July 26 th_

_Jean and Eren got into a fight today, which isn’t too surprising, they get into fights all the time but the way it happened was weird. I was sitting outside on my porch, reading a book since Armin was helping the Colonel around the house and Eren had a doctor’s appointment. Jean, who lives on the next road over, was driving his bike by when he stopped in front of my house. He called out to me so I waved, it’s not like Jean was a bad guy but I wasn’t sure why he always stopped by. I sided with Eren on all their fights not him._

_He came up to the steps, leaning his bike against my porch and asked if it was okay if he stayed for a bit. I wasn’t doing anything so I told him it was okay, and he looked pretty happy, which was unusual cause Jean normally looks pretty grumpy. That could be because Eren is always around though. Jean was nice enough though, asking how my summer was going and what we did so far. He told me about how he was going to visit his mom’s family up North soon and was in the middle of telling a story about one of his uncles when Eren’s angry voice came out of nowhere. I tried to ask him if something had happened at the doctor's but Eren had his eyes set on Jean. Eren just told him to never come back over here and started fighting with him and Jean took the bait, throwing his fist right back._

_I tried to get them to stop and was about to step in myself when Dad had to come out and break them up, leaving Jean with a bruised cheek and Eren with a black eye. They both got yelled at and sent home, but I went over to walk Eren home and make sure he was okay. I was trying to look at his eye but he just kept looking over at Jean who gave Eren a dirty look before leaving down the street. I don’t know what had happened, but if Dad was mad, you should have heard Aunt Carla._

_Dear Diary,                                                                                                                                    July 31 st _

_Mom invited Sasha over to have a sleep over the other night which was fun. I love hanging out with Armin and Eren but there are some things I can’t talk about with them. We were just about to grab snacks for the night when the doorbell rang. I went to get it and it was Eren who was returning some clothes I had left from when I was swimming there the other day. He said hi to Sasha before Mom scurried him away since it was supposed to be only girls tonight. The moment we got upstairs Sasha asked me if I liked Eren, like really liked Eren. I asked her why she said that and she told me it was the way I was looking at him. I relented and told her yes to which she joyously shouted that she knew it and wanted to know everything._

_I told her about the weird fight, and Sasha said it was probably because Eren was jealous that Jean was hanging out with me alone. I told her that was stupid that Eren just had a temper and hates Jean but Sasha just shrugged with a smile. She said she thought Jean liked me, which was ridiculous and I told her as much but she still was convinced. She told me just to ask Armin then._

_Even if it was true, he’s not the one I want to like me._

_Dear Diary,                                                                                                                                    August 2 nd_

_I did it. I talked to Armin about it. I went over when I knew Eren was helping his dad at work that day so that just we could hang out. I was friends with Eren first but Armin was always like a brother to me, so it’s easy to talk to him but at the same time it wasn’t really easy because I was so embarrassed. I didn’t even have to say it though because he already knew. He said he had known for a while and that he thought it was cute and that he was glad that I felt like I could come to him. I’ve always trusted what Armin said ever since he told me not to get upset when Eren lost his temper that he wasn’t mad at me and wasn’t trying to pick a fight. He just was bad at handling it, which was the truth, Armin always said he needed to get sense literally knocked into him all the time. Armin said my secret was safe with him though._

_I just wish Eren felt the same, but I know he doesn’t. I haven’t told anyone this but sometimes when no one is around I’ll just daydream that we’ve been married and that we’re older. That I have the short hair my mom won’t let me have, and that Eren’s tall but he still has the same smile. That we’ll have two…no three kids together and I just wish that’s what would happen._

Eren had felt like he had been keeping his composure well but he just lost it; he couldn’t contain the laugh that was falling from his lips.

“What is so funny?” Mikasa’s voice called from the kitchen.

“Nothing,” Eren called back, closing the worn book and tossing it back into the box on the coffee table.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

He felt two arms drape down his chest as Mikasa leaned over the back of the couch, pulling him back so her chin could rest on his head. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“I still don’t believe you.” She leaned in till her face was near his.

Eren turned his head to look at her, not being able to hold the grin off his lips. “So all you wanted me to be when we got married was tall?”

Mikasa blinked at him, clearly confused by his words but between the look he knew he had on his face, and her old diary still poking out of one of the many moving boxes in their new living room, Eren watched the realization on her face. “You read my diary!” she slapped him on the chest before lunging over the couch at him.

Eren laughed as he caught her effortlessly, her body falling into his lap as she still tried to hit him; there was a lack of pain that told Eren she was just playing with him. He reached down to lace his hands with hers as her head rested on the armrest of the couch, the rest of her body laying across his legs.

“That was an invasion of privacy, Eren Jaeger,” she said, but she was laughing.

“From when we were twelve,” he snorted.

She rolled her eyes. “Read anything you plan to tease me about in the near future?”

“Nah, it was cute.” He leaned down to press his lips to hers. “So you want to get married have three kids, huh?”

Mikasa tried to hit him again but Eren still had a hold of her hands.

“I can arraign that,” he murmured against her.

She leaned her head up to kiss him before sitting up on the couch as she laughed. “I think first we should finish unpacking the house. So back to work, no more distracting yourself.” She pushed herself up to her feet before turning back to look at him with a smile on her lips. “Or me.”

“Okay,” Eren sighed more dramatically then he needed to causing Mikasa to throw a nearby pillow at him. “I’m working!” He pulled a box to him and started to unwrap the items in it while Mikasa walked back to the kitchen. “Hey, Mikasa,” Eren called until she appeared in the kitchen doorway again, a box of their things from their old apartment in her hands. “Sasha was right.”

“About what?”

“I punched Jean in the face because I was jealous when I saw him sitting on the porch with you.”

She rolled her eyes, but her smile was still bright.

 


	67. Not Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not Today
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Knight and Maiden AU; aka I've read too much Game of Thrones  
> Rating: T (Sexual Implications)  
> Words: 2627

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eremikadefensesquad requested for an AU where knights weren’t supposed to be in love. Here I made Eren the Knight, whose vows say he can’t marry, and Mikasa the noble causing a bit of an issue when they’ve been in love with each other for years. Its semi (and ironically) based on Jaime and Cersei Lannister who Jaime being a part of the Kingsguard who can’t marry and having to watch Cersei being married to other men. The quote in the title is from one of my favorite lines in the TV series.

**"What do we say to the god of Death?"**

" **Not today."**

_-Syrio Forel and Arya Stark, Game of Thrones_

There was nothing like the gates opening and the vast city Eren liked to call home in front of him again. He followed his commander who rode in front down the streets of the city, people coming from all over to watch the guard make their return.

“Don’t look so serious, the people are happy to see us,” Armin said from his spot riding next to Eren and waving down to a few children who were trying to get their attention.

“I’m exhausted, I just want to go home,” Eren sighed, but even he couldn’t keep a small smile off his face. It was a long trip, one that was ultimately successful in pushing the boundaries of the city even wider, but still a long trip. Eren just wanted to sleep in his own bed instead of being out under a tent with Connie snoring all night.

Armin nodded. “Well, we have to go by the court first so Levi can announce what was done officially in front of the King and Queen, then we’ll have to escort the nobles out, and then we can go home.”

Eren tried not to hang his head, to keep the posture that he knew Levi expected from them but it was hard not to. “This wasn't in the job description.”

“It was when we got assigned to the inner walls, I suppose,” Armin shrugged as Commander Levi Ackerman came to a stop in front of them halting the whole line. Their commander dismounted his horse as stable boys came to take a hold of their horses.

Eren jumped off his horse, his armor clanging together a bit as he moved; it was a lot more difficult to move in when he was younger, but he quickly grew into it, and out of it having needed a new uniform and armor by the time he was eighteen. He followed Levi up the steps of the palace with Armin still next to him and the others fallen behind. The large doors opened right into the throne room where nobles gathered on both sides of the room to cheer and watch the Guard make their report.

It hadn’t changed at all, the room looked exactly like it had weeks, almost a month, ago when he last was here. The King and Queen were sitting on their thrones, and when Levi kneeled before them, the room went quiet as the rest of the Guard followed in suit.

“Rise,” the King spoke. He seemed to be in a good mood, he must've heard that they were bringing him good news for once.

Levi stood to his feet which was the signal for the rest of them to do the same. Their commander started to speak about the mission and what was accomplished but Eren didn’t need to hear it again, he had been there. He instead chose to glance around the room to see who was there.

After years specifically in the Kingsguard, he had gotten to know many of the nobles who were in the court, who had constant dealings with the King and Queen. Eren saw the princess Historia standing near her father’s throne, listening attentively to Levi speaking but every so often her eyes drifted to the servants’ door. Lady Annie and Lords Bertholdt and Reiner, visiting royals form another country, were standing down a few steps; rumor had it they wanted Reiner to marry the princess and were already working on their two countries joining. Eren was still pretty convinced Historia would rather be marrying another princess then Reiner, or the tall servant girl who Eren always saw Historia with.

Sasha and her Lord father were standing there too, both nobles from a hunting country the King frequented in. Sasha was here as a ward to the King and Queen to keep up peace with her country and her father must've been visiting her at the time. There were a few others here and there Eren knew, but not on a personal level like the others, and then there was one, the one he was looking for since the moment he walked in.

She was standing on the other side of the queen, with her long black hair pulled up into braids. She must've noticed his gaze because her dark eyes met his and a small smile twitched at her lips as she tried to keep her composure for their audience. Eren knewn Mikasa since they were kids along with Armin; they all grew up in the same town on the outskirts of the royal city. It wasn’t until Mikasa’s parents were killed, which wasn’t too common in the town they lived in Eren lost his mom the same way, that a relative she never knewn came to take her away to the palace where he worked in the Kingsguard. While Levi was strict about not letting Mikasa go back to the city, Eren and Armin were allowed to come visit her with the help of Eren’s father who worked every so often in the palace as a doctor. It was Levi who helped Eren and Armin join the Kingsguard to begin with.

And it was Levi who was now glaring back at him.

Eren snapped himself out of his thoughts when Armin elbowed him; the nobles were heading down the steps, signaling they were to usher the ladies back to their rooms while Levi followed the King to have a meeting about the newly gained land.

“It’s nice to have you back, Sir,” Mikasa curtsied in front of Eren before he extended his arm to her. “The palace doesn’t seem quite as safe without you here.”

“Well,” Eren said as he took her out the side door of the throne room and up the familiar path to her room. “As much as I love traveling outside the city, it’s always good to be home. Did you have a good month, Lady?”

“As good as any. There’s the spring festival coming up so the ladies have been preparing for it. I feel like my fingers are numb from weaving flower crowns.” She let out a laugh that made Eren smile.

“Ah, yes, that is coming up soon isn’t it.”

Mikasa looked up at him as they walked in stride up one of the staircases. “You’ll be here, won’t you, Sir?”

“I couldn’t imagine why not. We’ll need to be here to make sure everything goes smoothly.”

“Good, it wouldn’t be the same without you.”

They turned the corner that led to the last hall before her room; she was the only one who lived down this hall so it was as empty as it always was. The moment Eren knew he couldn’t hear any other footsteps but their own he halted and turned to Mikasa. He couldn’t take it anymore; his hands reached for her waist, pushing her back up against the nearby wall as his lips rushed into hers. He felt her gasp against him, her hands reaching up to tangle in his hair, and her lips never breaking from his. He moved his mouth down, traveling against her jaw and to her neck.

“Eren,” she groaned. “I missed you so much.”

He hummed against her skin. “I thought about you every night.”

Mikasa tugged on his hair pulling his head back up to hers. “Me too,” she grinned at him before urgently bringing her lips to his again.

He pressed his body closer to hers; he missed her warmth, the way she fit against him, her hands, her lips, just everything about her. He leaned his forehead against hers. “Can you get Hanji to get you to me tonight?”

Mikasa nodded. “I’ll see you then.” She reached her hands up to hold his face as she kissed him again, but then she was gone, hurrying into her room before someone walked by.

Eren stared after her, his heart a mix of both joy at being back with her and the ache that always came when she left. He joined the Kingsguard for her, to be close to her, but doing so he had given up his right to marry; it didn’t matter to him at the time, the son of a doctor had some holding but not enough to marry a noble like Mikasa. It never stopped him from being in love with her though.

* * *

 

Eren constantly thanked the gods Mikasa made friends with Hanji; he swore that woman knew everything there was to know about the palace and the city. She even knew how to get Mikasa to his room without anyone knowing it was her or that she was gone. Eren didn’t know how or why but he really didn’t care, not when she was laying next to him in bed, her bare legs tangled with his as the cool air from the open window blew over their slick skin. Mikasa had her head on his chest, drawing designs on his skin with her finger, one of his arms around her. It was the happiest Eren felt since the before he left.

“Was Armin okay on the mission?” Mikasa asked.

“Armin was fine. He helped a lot with the strategies and  I think even Levi was impressed.”

“I always knew he had it in him.”

Eren laughed. “So did I. I think it was just him.”

She was quiet for a moment, a silence settling over them. “Eren,” she finally said, her voice somewhere between hesitant and questioning.

“What’s wrong?”

She sat up in his bed glancing over at him. “While you were away, I was…I was told…” she paused, biting down at her lip.

“C’mon, what is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

“The King…the King wants me to marry the young lord of a neighboring country.”

Eren tried not to let his heart sink; they always knew this would come one day. He still couldn’t help it. The thought of Mikasa married off to some man and being forced to move away was enough to make Eren’s stomach turn. “Is this lord on his way?”

Mikasa shook her head. “The King said it would be a bit before he was free to come out here to finalize the plans.”

“Then we’ll deal with it when the time comes.” Eren paused as he looked at her. “What’s his name?”

“Lord Jean Kirstein.”

Eren made a disgusted noise. “He even sounds like an ass.”

Mikasa laughed lightly as she swatted his legs but Eren could tell it was bothering her; he saw it in her eyes. Eren pushed himself up, the blanket pooling in his lap as he gestured for her to come closer.

She inched over to him, placing her head on his shoulder and one arm over his chest. With a sigh he wrapped his arms around the girl he knewn for so long, the one he loved for so long.

“I can’t marry someone else,” Mikasa said. “I can’t just move somewhere away from you and Armin. I knew it would happen someday but it didn’t help.”

Eren ran his fingers lightly through her hair as she spoke. He made this choice to keep her safe but in the end it was only going to tear them apart. “I could come with you as your personal guard.”

“And do what?” she said softly. “Watch me bear another man’s children? He’s not an old man or even a drunk we could fool. He’s a young lord whose never been married before. We’d never get away with it like we did here.”

He knew it was true, of course he did; an old man wouldn’t be interested passed getting a heir and a drunk could be fooled but a young love struck lord would never work. He’d either see through it or get suspicious enough to sneak around and if they were caught they would be executed for adultery and for Eren breaking his vows.

“Run away with me,” Mikasa said breaking his thoughts.

He looked down at her. “What?”

“We could run away.” She sat up, her eyes meeting his. “Armin too if he wanted to come.”

“Mikasa, I’d be a fugitive and so would Armin. They would hunt us down and get you for being with us too. We’d be on the run for the rest of our lives.”

She shook her head not letting it go. “We could change our names, our appearances so they couldn’t find us.”

Eren wanted nothing more than to find a way out of this but at the risk of their lives? “You know they’d send Levi after us. He’s known us since we were kids; there’s no amount of name change or appearance change that could make him not know who we were.”

Mikasa looked like she was contemplating that but a smile pulled at her lips. “We could go to the Southern Isles. The South is so vast they’d never find us. We’ve always said we wanted to go, now’s the best chance we’re ever going to get.”

“We’d have to get there without getting killed first.”

“Hanji would help I’m sure. She has ways out of the city I’m sure no one knows about.” Mikasa sat back on her legs. “But when would be the question.”

Eren still didn’t know if any of this would work but the temptation was too strong for him; this was their best chance to leave. Years ago he would've never imagined giving up his vows as a solider but giving up Mikasa was far worse. “The spring festival. There will be so many people and so much going on it would be easy to slip away unnoticed till we’re long gone.”

Mikasa looked up to him again. “You’d leave with me?”

“Of course.” He meant it.

She leaned towards him again, wrapping her arms around him as her face buried in his neck.

“We’d have to change our appearance between leaving the festival and escaping the city. I’ll ask Armin if he wants to come tomorrow.”

“Do you think he’ll come?”

It was hard to say. Armin was their best friend but he was also very smart, smart enough to know this was more than a little risky. At the same time, Armin always wanted to leave the walls of the city, just like them. Eren couldn’t imagine Armin staying while they ran away. “I think he’d come,” Eren said, his hands gently rubbing her back. “The three of us only have each other.”

“We’d have a better chance with him.”

Eren snorted. “Ain’t that the truth.”

“I’d miss him too much.”

“Me too, I think he’d miss us too.”

Mikasa laughed lightly before she let out a sigh. “We can go on the adventures we always wanted to as kids. We can have our life together.”

“Provided we don’t get killed first. Well, you alone are worth most all the guard so we should be okay.”

She laughed as she swatted at him, lifting her head to look at him. “We can make this work, we will make it work.”

He leaned in to press his lips to hers. “I believe you. Between you, Armin, me and Hanji, we might have a chance.”

Mikasa settled back down against him with a smile on her face. “Not might, we will.”

This was a huge risk, a huge danger for them all; if caught they'd be executed in front of the guard and the King’s court. Yet was it really any better to watch Mikasa be married to some other man for the rest of her days, never being able to be near her, to be with her again? A risk was all they had now, and a risk was gonna have to be worth it all.


	68. I'll Follow You Into the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll Follow You Into the Dark
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa & Slight Levi/Hanji  
> Setting: Set after chapter 65 (but not after 66 cause this was written before that was released)  
> Words: 2410  
> Rating: K+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon requested Mikasa to get stabbed when she was going to save Eren and to have react to that. I was gonna wait till after chapter 66 came out but I have an itch to write current arc as we wait the last week before the spoilers start coming haha So here's yet another "Isayama please reunite my babus" hope and dream fic. Title is from song of the same name by Death Cab for Cutie.

As he sat up on the altar, chained in place watching helplessly as his world crashed around him, Eren sworn there was nothing that could make him hate himself more. Everything was his fault. Everything his father had done, everything Eren did made into. This was his fault. He wanted Historia to end it; he wanted her to be able to bring peace to the world. He was willing to be the sacrifice; it was the least he could do. He could atone for his sins that way, but there was one thing that nothing he could do would atone for.

Eren felt his heart sink the moment Mikasa stepped into the room. Her eyes were frantically looking around, looking for him he knew. He wanted to shout at her to go, to leave, to run while she still could but he knew it wouldn’t work. His eyes met hers and Eren could see both the relief and fear in her face as she took off towards him. Despite him wanting her to leave before she got hurt, to leave before she had to watch him die in front of her eyes which God, he'd never want her to see, he couldn’t help but feel a relief of his own. She was alive. She was okay. She had been safe the whole time.

“Mikasa!” he cried out, knowing she'd hear. “Don’t!”

Historia already transformed and was gonna be a huge threat to them all real fast. They all had to get out; no one else could die for his sake.

“Please!” he tried again when she didn’t stop. “You’re in…” Eren trailed off when Mikasa actually did stop, just feet away from the steps to the altar.

She looked surprised for a moment, one hand reaching down to tentatively touch her stomach, where blood was seeping into her white shirt. Mikasa looked up wide eyed to Eren before she dropped to her knees.

“No!” he screamed, his arms making the chains rattle all around him. “No! Mikasa!” No, no, this wasn’t supposed to happen. She was never supposed to get hurt. Never. He promised her. He promised. A motion by her caught his eye, seeing Rod Reiss holding a gun in his hands, pointed at Mikasa again. Eren hadn’t even heard the gun go off; he didn’t even know if Historia was going for him yet but he couldn’t…he couldn’t leave her like that. No, God no. He deserved everything that came to him but Mikasa, she never did anything deserve this.

He felt the familiar coil of tension start in the pit of his stomach.

Eren didn’t care if he died, especially if it was for the sake of humanity; he was never needed anyway but Mikasa, she was the best of his life. He'd never let anyone hurt her. He'd never let them live.

His body started to shift, breaking the chains all around him. He wanted to die, and maybe he still did, but not while Mikasa was in pain, not when all she did was come to save him. She didn’t deserve the life that she had. He didn’t deserve her.

He let out a cry as his other form took ahold of him and all he saw was red.

By the time Eren came to, he was in some kinda wagon. It wasn’t moving but it was completely covered; Eren couldn’t even see the sky above him but he did know it was sometime at night. He sat up on the makeshift bed he was laying on but almost immediately regretted it; his hand reached up to his spinning head as a wave of nausea washed over his body. There was a bandage wrapped around his forehead where Kenny had cut him…

Eren dove for the fabric that was covering the exit of the wagon and nearly fell out. He was in the cave, and as the fresh air of the night hit him he realized he wasn’t anymore. He frantically looked around, trying to find anyone. There wasn’t even a fire though, no one in sight. No, he needed to find Mikasa, she was…

He felt like he was gonna throw up again.

“Hey, hey, relax,” a very familiar voice whispered and Eren did feel himself relax almost instantaneously

He spun around to see Armin standing behind him, dressed in some casual clothes and very minimal bandages. Eren reached over to pull his old friend into a hug. Eren hadn’t even known if he was ever even gonna see Armin again.

“What happened?” Eren asked, pulling away to look in Armin’s eyes, searching for the answers. Eren was a little surprised though; he wasn’t sure when Armin got as tall as he was. “Where’s Mikasa?”

“Just calm down okay,” Armin said in that soothing tone of his. “After you transformed you fought with Historia until you practically passed out, at least that’s what they told me; I wasn’t actually there when it happened. We managed to get you out of there but where Rod, Historia, and Kenny are, we have no idea. We’ve been moving for at least a day now to keep them off our trails.”

So they were still alive, but they weren’t important right now. “Where’s Mikasa?” he asked again. “I saw her…I saw her get…”

Armin put a reassuring arm on his shoulder. “C’mon, I’ll bring you to her.”

Eren followed behind his friend, trying to figure out where they were. It was in the woods somewhere with an old path where his wagon had been set on. They cut across another road and Eren could already see another wagon close by.

“We split them up in case someone found us and it would be easier to move,” Armin explained. “Sasha and Connie were with me but Levi sent them to hunt while I kept watch.”

Eren saw Levi, he was sitting a little bit away against a tree with someone laying out near him, head in his lap. Only closer did he realize it was Hanji; she didn’t even move when they approached. Jean was also sitting nearby but he at least looked up when Eren and Armin came to stand in front of them.

“Nice of you to join the living again, Jaeger,” Levi said, though Eren noticed his tone wasn’t quite as biting as normal.

“Is she okay?” Eren asked, his heart sinking. If anyone else got hurt because of him…

Levi nodded. “She’ll be fine. She’s just passed out right now.”

Eren felt a little embarrassed looking at them, never seeing anyone be that close in Levi’s personal space; Eren wasn’t quite sure if he even should be looking but the others seemed unaffected.

“She’s in there.” Levi nodded towards the other covered wagon. “Get outta here before Sasha and Connie get back and we have a much needed meeting.”

Eren didn’t have to be told twice. His heart was pounding in his chest as he reached up to push aside the fabric and climb up into the dark wagon. She was laying there, laying under a thin blanket in a bed that was similar to what his had been. Her eyes where closed and dark hair fallen all around her head; he would've thought the worst if he hadn’t seen the steady rise and fall of her chest. She was still alive.

He carefully sat down next to her, reaching down to the rag that was on her forehead. He looked around for a bucket and saw one filled with water nearby. Eren carefully dipped it in and put it back on her head, his fingers brushing by her skin. She was burning up.

“What were you doing?” he whispered his fingers trailing down her cheek as he moved his hand away. “You didn’t need to come this time. I didn’t want anyone to save me, I wasn’t worth saving. Why couldn’t you see that?”

She didn’t even stir just the steady rise and fall of her chest, her soft breath coming from her lips.

“Why do you always put yourself in danger for me? Mikasa, please, I’m not worth dying over. You deserve so much better than this.” He knew she couldn’t hear him but guilt wracked his whole body. “So much better than me.”

Eren carefully reached over to pull back some of the blanket to look at her wound. Her button up was undone around her stomach, bandages wrapped tight around her; at least it wasn’t bleeding through. He dropped the blanket again before he eyes looked up to her face. He saw the scar that was on her cheek even in the moonlight. His chest clenched.

“All I do is hurt you,” he mumbled. “Why, why do you continuously put your faith in me? Why can’t you see that I was never worth any of it?” He paused, sharp tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “I should've died when Maria fell. None of this mess would have ever happened if I did.”

“Eren.” Her voice was soft and breathy and he nearly missed it. The sound of it still made his heart skip.

“Hey,” he said, instantly reaching down to her. “I’m right here.”

Her eyes slowly opened until they were looking right up at him. Despite all the hatred and guilt he was feeling towards himself, he still felt a smile start to pull at his lips. God, he had missed her voice, her eyes, the warm comfort she always brought; more than he ever knew.

“What're you talking about?” her voice was still soft but there was that bite behind it, the one she got when he was doing something stupid.

“This is just…my fault,” he sighed. “It’s all my fault.”

“I’m pretty sure you didn’t shoot me.”

He snorted. “No, but it would've never happened if you didn’t come after me.”

She closed her eyes for a moment but they were back looking up at him again. “What else was I gonna do? I will always bring you back. No matter where you go.”

There was a sharp pain in his stomach. “You shouldn’t have. I told Historia to do it, I told her to kill me.” Eren recognized the look of hurt that crossed her eyes.

“Why would you say that?”

“Because, I bring nothing but pain. How many times have I hurt you? Huh? You wouldn’t be laying here right now if it wasn’t because of me. The reason Historia lost the only family she loved was because of my father and then my father made me a monster too. No one ever needed me; even the stupid coordinate isn’t mine it was stolen from the Reiss’ and it can be taken away from me in an instant.” He dropped his gaze from hers, unable to look her in the eye. “I’m useless, Mikasa. My goal? I’m not even needed for that. It was never me. All I’ve been is worthless my whole life.”

She was quiet for a moment and Eren thought she might've fallen asleep again but her hand reached out to weakly grab his. “Don’t you dare.” She was trying to be sharp with him, but she didn’t have the energy.

When Eren looked up to her again she had a fire in her eyes.

“Don’t you dare say those things. You aren’t a monster and you never were.” She breathed in sharply. “You saved my life when you didn’t even know me. You gave Armin enough hope to see the potential in himself. You’ve always seen the best in everyone and you’d risk your life for anyone. You’ve given everything you have for humanity to be free.” She paused again her breathing getting heavy.

“Don’t wear yourse-” Eren tried but she shot him a look.

“You’re not a monster,” she said. “You’re a hero. You’re not worthless. So many people have risked their lives for you because they believe in you.”

Eren could see the tears filling up her own eyes.

“And you are very much needed. I need you.” She blinked and the tears started to roll down her cheeks. “So don’t you dare forget what it’s like to fight. I did once, but even then you reminded me of all the things I have to live for. Don’t you ever forget how completely loved you are.” Mikasa paused, biting at her bottom lip. “And by no one more than me. Don’t you dare forget that.”

She choked on a sob that got caught on her throat and Eren reached down help her sit up a little bit so she could breathe better. He didn’t even know what to say. He did know that he expected people to react that way because it was the right thing to do; to tell someone their life is meaningful but Mikasa, she wasn’t just saying it. She believed every word and she'd fight for those words. She'd fight for him, just like she always had. He never deserved her in his life but she was here; she was the best part of him. He meant what he said in those fields. How could he ever forget.

Eren didn’t even know the tears were on his cheeks until one dropped down onto Mikasa’s shirt.

“Please.” Her voice was desperate this time, choked with tears. “Please don’t go where I can’t follow.”

He choked back his own cry as she reached a hand up to grab onto his shirt. “Never,” he said softly. “Never without you.”

She seemed to relax a little bit laying back against his hands that were supporting her as he carefully laid her back down. Her watery eyes met his again. “I missed you.”

Eren couldn’t help but feel a smile on his lips, like a small burden was taken of his shoulders. He should've known he never had to shoulder everything; Mikasa was always there to help him. “I missed you too. Who else would keep me in line?”

She tried to laugh but winced in pain instead.

“Okay, I’ll let you get some rest,” he said, reaching up to rub his eyes.

“Will you stay with me?” she asked, her voice soft as she tried to keep her eyes open.

“Again and again forever,” he echoed the words he had said to her what felt like years ago. He reached down to brush some of the hair out of her face. “Mikasa?”

“Yeah?” she breathed.

“I love you too.” 


	69. I Should Be Over All the Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Should Be Over All the Butterflies
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa, Shingeki no Kyojin  
> Setting: Modern Day AU where they grew up together as neighbors  
> Rating: T (Language and sexual implications)  
> Words: 8313

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An anon on tumblr asked for a story that showed Eren and Mikasa falling in love with each other as they grew up together. I've always wanted to do a story for them by age and I thought this was the perfect time to do this! It ranges from ages 9-19 with a drabble for each age; its Eren's point of view so it's really him falling in love with her cause its Mikasa, we already know she'd be in love with him from a young age haha though I did try to show it in his eyes as well, the things he might not have thought much of that are telling from her. I loved writing this one, its possibly the cutest thing ever and long because I couldn't control myself. The title is from "Still Into You" by Paramore.

**_Nine Years Old_ **

Eren lived in the same neighborhood all his life, granted he was only nine years old but still. He knew all the names of his neighbors, especially Armin who was his best friend and Jean who Eren knew he’d never like. They had all been the same for as long as he could remember which is why he found it so strange to see moving vans in front of the house directly across from his.

He kept staring out the window of the living room, watching the movers bring in furniture, boxes, containers, but he couldn’t actually see anyone.

“What're you looking at, Eren?” he heard his mom call from the kitchen.

He turned his head to see her looking at him while she was drying a pot. “There’s strange people moving in across the street.”

“And what makes them ‘strange’ people?”

Eren shrugged. “Cause I haven’t actually seen them. Do you think they’re invisible?”

His mom laughed. “No, I’m pretty sure they aren’t but that was a good guess.”

He turned back to the window to see if maybe he could catch a shimmer of the sun reflecting off an invisible body just in case she was wrong but instead he saw a girl peek around the house from the back yard. Eren sat up in his place on the window seat; so they weren’t invisible. She didn’t look like any girl Eren had ever seen though. She had long black hair with skin that was much lighter than his, and dark eyes that lit up when a man, who Eren assumed was her dad even though they didn’t look alike, came out from the other side of the house and chased her back into the back yard.

“Ohhh,” Eren’s mom said, causing him to jump before he looked up to see her standing over him. “She looks about your age doesn’t she? Why don’t we bring over some cookies or something and say hi?”

“Why,” Eren grunted, suddenly not feeling very interested anymore. “We don’t even know them.”

His mom swatted him over the head with her hand towel. “That’s why. How do you think we get to know people? Now, c’mon, let’s cook up a batch of cookies until your father gets home and we can all go over and introduce ourselves.” She was already walking back to the kitchen but Eren just grunted as he sunk into his seat.

He was plenty fine with just sitting here and not saying hi to anyone. Neighbors didn’t have to be friends, he knew that well enough from knowing Jean.

“You can lick the bowl when we’re done.”

Eren’s ears perked up. Well, maybe it wouldn’t be _so_ bad.

It didn’t even take that long before Eren had the bowl in his lap, the wooden spoon full of cookie dough and chocolate chips. The oven dinged letting them know the cookies were already done.

“It smells delicious in here.”

Eren heard his father before he showed up in front of the door wearing the scrubs he had left the house in this morning.

“We made cookies to give to our new neighbors. They have a daughter who looks around Eren’s age,” Eren’s mom said as she transferred the chocolate chip cookies to the cooling trays.

“Oh did you?” his father asked sounding impressed as he looked over to Eren.

“It was mom’s idea.”

“Of course it was. Let me get changed and I’ll come with you. This will be good for you Eren. You can’t just be friends with Armin your whole life.”

“Can too!” Eren said but his dad was already on his way upstairs. Eren went back to grumbling over the batter while his mom placed the cookies on some decorative tray she had.

“Do you want to carry them?” she asked as she covered them in plastic wrap.

Eren shook his head, wiping his mouth on his sleeve when he was satisfied that there was no batter left in the bowl.

“C’mon then, let’s go say hi.” His mom already had the cookies in her hand heading for the door while he heard his dad coming down the stairs.

“Do I have to?” he whined, pushing himself to his feet.

“Yes,” his parents answered at the same time.

With a groan, Eren followed them out the door, the afternoon heat of the summer hitting him right away. His dad grabbed a hold of Eren’s hand as they crossed the rather empty street to the house that Eren had been watching all day. Now that he was here he still wasn’t all that interested; he just wanted to give them the cookies and to home to eat the ones he knew his mom set aside.

The movers were still going in through the garage, and Eren wondered how much stuff could even fit in a house. He watched his mom ring the doorbell as his dad practically dragged him up the front steps.

“Oh!” a woman answered the door; Eren saw her when he peered through his parents. She looked just like the girl he had seen earlier. “Hello.”

“Hello,” Eren’s mom smiled. “I’m Carla Jaeger, this is my husband, Grisha, and our son, Eren. We live right across the street from you and wanted to come say hi. I’m sure you’re very busy but we baked some cookies to give to you.”

The woman placed a hand to her heart as she smiled at them. “That was so nice of you, please, come in. It’s a bit of a mess right now but it’s so nice to meet you.”

Eren was praying his mom would say no they had to go home but he should have known better when he found himself following his parents into the house.

“I’m Vita Ackerman,” the woman smiled, her eyes looking down to Eren. “How old are you, Eren?”

Eren felt his dad hit him lightly on the back of the head. “Nine,” he said, reaching up to rub his head with a glare up at his dad.

“The same as my daughter,” Mrs. Ackerman said with a smile, walking over to the glass doors that must have led to their backyard. “Hey, come in and meet our neighbors!” she called out the open door. 

A few more voices followed as the man and the girl Eren had seen earlier came in the house. Eren made a distinct effort not to look at her.

“This is my husband Tom, and Mikasa,” Mrs. Ackerman said. “Here let me take those.” She reached over to take the cookies from Eren’s mom and placed them on the coffee table that was sitting nearby. “This is Carla, Grisha, and Eren. They live across the street from us now.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Mr. Ackerman said with a wave. He looked down to the girl who was standing slightly behind him. “Mikasa, why don’t you take Eren outside to play for a little bit?”

“Okay,” her voice was quiet and she looked a little hesitant, but she stepped out from behind her dad as if she was waiting for Eren.

He looked up to his mom trying to silently beg her not to go but she just nudged him forward with her leg giving him no choice. He shoved his hands in his pants pocket and trudged after Mikasa who had already walked to the back door.

“I don’t wanna play with dolls,” he said once he was outside, knowing his parents were out of hearing range.

Mikasa wrinkled her nose as she looked at him, leading him down the porch stairs. “I wasn’t playing with dolls.”

“What else do girls play with then?” Eren really didn’t know, he just assumed from TV and the girls he knew in his class at school. He wasn’t actually friends with any of them though.

“I dunno,” Mikasa shrugged, her bare feet hitting the lush grass of her backyard. “Same things as boys sometimes.”

Eren was gonna say he highly doubted it but that was when he saw a bucket of green army men and the little figures he knew so well spread out over the grass. “You play with those too?” he thought his jaw was going to hit the ground.

“Yeah.” She took a seat on the ground and picked one of them up. “My dad’s a police officer so he knows a lot about fighting and stuff.” Mikasa looked up at him, a slightly hopeful look in her eyes. “You wanna play?”

“Yeah,” he said, sitting down across from her to survey the battlefield. “Whose winning? Cause if it’s those guys.” Eren gestured to the army men lined up across from them. “We can’t have that.”

“No, they are losing, but they just got reinforcements so we’d need to act fast to keep our ground.”

By the time Eren’s mom came to get him, the opposing troops were nearly destroyed though he and Mikasa had lost a lot of troops too. Even Eren was surprised when he called back to his mom, “Just five more minutes!”

 

**_Ten Years Old_ **

Eren was laying on the grass of his front yard staring up at the blue sky above him. He was supposed to have his eyes closed as he counted in his head but whatever he knew they wouldn’t be dumb enough to hide right in front of him.

“Ready or not here I come!” he shouted, pushing himself up of the ground and surveying the area. Inside was off limits, mainly because his mom was cleaning and kicked them out to begin with, but his yard and Armin’s yard were all good to go to hide in. Mikasa’s would've been but their parents didn’t like them crossing the street to get there just to play hide n’ go seek.

Eren started to walk around back of his own yard where they were more than likely hiding. The Colonel didn’t mind them playing in the backyard but if they accidentally stepped on his gardens again they might get chased back to Eren’s house with a hoe; they generally didn’t like to risk it.

“I know you two are back here,” he called out trying to see if Armin would squirm in his spot. As if on cue, one of the bushes near the back door started to move. Eren grinned as he made his way over there; it was either Armin or a squirrel but Armin was more likely.

He tiptoed over to the bush and stuck his head around the back of it. “Gotcha Ar…Mikasa?” Eren blinked at her thinking maybe he saw wrong (like he could mistake his black haired female friend for his blond male friend) but she was still standing in front of him. He really was only surprised because Mikasa never got caught; she was the best hider that Eren ever met and because of that Armin always lost.

“You shook that bush so Armin would win for once didn’t you.”

“Shhh,” Mikasa said, coming out from the bush. “Don’t talk so loud. I wanted him to actually win.”

“It doesn’t count when you cheat so he can win.”

“I didn’t cheat.” Mikasa crossed her hands against her chest. “I just…sneezed.”

“I didn’t hear you sneeze, I was standing right here.”

“Then I coughed.”

“I would have heard that too!”

Mikasa went to open her mouth again but a small laugh cut her off.

Armin was standing near them, one hand covering his lips as he tried to mask the rest of his laughter. “I appreciate it, Mikasa,” he said, dropping his hand. “But it’s okay, I know I’m no good at this game.”

Eren arched an eyebrow. “Then why are you laughing?”

Armin shook his head. “No reason.”

“You always have a reason.”

He shook his head again, clearly not wanting to say anything else.

Before Eren could press him, Eren’s mom appeared at the back door. “Who wants to go for ice cream?”

The cheers drowned out anything else in Eren’s mind.

 

**_Eleven Years Old_ **

“Can we just go out-”

“No.”

“What about-”

“No.”

“I just want to-”

“No.”

Eren was ready to pull his hair out. He was so bored out of his mind laying on his couch but his oh so fun babysitter wasn’t having it.

“Can I at least-”

“No.”

Levi was sitting in the armchair nearby, a book in his hands and his eyes only on that book. Someone else might have thought that meant he wasn’t paying attention but Eren was dragged back in any room Levi was watching them in by the back of Eren’s pants so many times by now he knew it wasn’t even worth it. If Eren thought Mikasa was fast, her older brother was worse.

Luckily, Levi was in college and only was home during holidays and a few weeks the summer so Eren was only stuck getting babysat by him not too often, but the days he was forced into it was bad enough.

Eren looked down to Mikasa who was laying on the floor writing in a notebook. Both their parents were either working or at appointments leaving the both of them being watched by the devil incarnate. Plus, Levi wouldn’t even let Eren play any games. He was gonna die, he just knew it.

“What’re you writing?” Eren asked, leaning his head off the couch to get a better look. He couldn’t see much, but he swore he could see his name in her neat handwriting.

Mikasa jumped like she forgot he was there, which was stupid cause this was his living room, and scrambled to cover it. She should have known better, that just made him want to know more.

“C’mon, ‘Kasa, just show me." He rolled his eyes reaching for the notebook but she pulled it out of his reach causing him to fall off the couch trying to grab it.  

He landed with a thud and a groan while Mikasa stood up to her feet, her notebook against her chest. Well, now she really was gonna get it. Eren jumped to his feet and took off after her with a grin; granted Mikasa was very quick but Eren had played tag with her for three years now, he knew some of her tricks.

She went around the back of the couch and Eren ran after her, his feet sliding slightly on the rug. Mikasa swung back around before reaching Levi, and ran back the way she came causing Eren to spin around to follow.

“Eren!” she cried when he almost had a hold of the notebook from behind her.  She must've been desperate because she darted right by Levi’s chair.

Eren found himself skidding to a stop, Levi’s hand pressed to Eren’s chest to give Mikasa time to run to the kitchen. “Aww, c’mon, Levi, we were just playing.”

Levi arched an eyebrow sharply at him. “She didn’t sound like she was having fun.”

“I just wanted to see what she was doing, that’s all.”

Levi put his book down on the armrest as he leaned over in the chair, his head even with Eren’s. “Let me give you a bit of life advice, kid. Sometimes a woman likes to have her secrets, and you let her have them until she wants to tell you.”

Eren wrinkled his forehead. “Yeah but she’s not a woman, she’s Mikasa.”

A small smile was on Levi’s lips as he leaned back in to the chair, one hand reaching up to mess up Eren’s hair. “You won’t always think that way, kid. I promise you. Now go apologize to her before I whip you one for picking on my sister.”

Eren scoffed as he turned away from Levi to go find Mikasa. He knew Mikasa was a girl, obviously he wasn’t stupid, but she was also Mikasa, one of his best friends with Armin. She was like…like one of the guys. Levi didn’t know what he was talking about.

 

**_Twelve Years Old_ **

Eren was already seated on his bike when Armin was bringing his over from his house; he looked a little uncertain but Eren couldn’t have been more excited.

“C’mon, Armin, don’t look so terrified. The gas station is only right down the street. When Mikasa gets here we’ll ride down get some snacks and drinks and come back up.”

“The gas station is all the way at the end of the road a few blocks over, I don’t know if we should be going.”

Eren waved him off. “It’s Saturday, everyone is out on the streets today. We won’t be the only ones. Where is she already?”

Armin swung his legs over his bike, still looking like he was unsure if they should be doing this. It was only gonna take a few minutes; their parents wouldn’t even know they were gone.

“Eren Jaeger. Just what do you think you’re doing?”

The tone of his mom’s voice was enough to make him nearly fall off his bike. He turned around to see her walking over across the lawn, a look in her eyes that told her nothing good was going to come from this and Mikasa trailing slightly behind. “Nothing, mom, just going for a ride.”

“A ride?” She asked, hands on her hips. “A ride down to a gas station that is way out of our neighborhood without telling anyone where you were going? Do you even understand how dangerous that is? How much danger you were about to put your friends in?”

Eren’s hands tightened on his bike handles as he glanced over to Mikasa, looking very guilty standing behind his mom.

“I didn’t think so. Get inside right now. You’re grounded for the rest of the weekend.” She stormed back into the house, the screen door slamming behind her.

“What the hell, Mikasa!” Eren growled, tossing his bike onto the grass. “Why did you tell my mom on me? Seriously?”

Mikasa shook her head, taking a step back from him. “You were gonna get in trouble going or worse. I was trying to help you.”

“Help me? Well, thanks, Mikasa, thanks to your help I’m stuck in the house till we go to school on Monday. Some help you are,” he growled, crossing his arms against his chest.

“Lay off, Eren,” Armin said, though a little meekly. “Something really bad could've happened to us if we went alone.”

Eren ignored him though; he took a few more steps towards Mikasa. “I’m _not_ your little brother. I don’t need you to baby me so knock it off. This is all your fault.” He brushed by her to go into his house with every intention of stomping up the steps and going into his room without looking back but a noise made him turn when he reached the steps. He saw Mikasa reaching up for her eyes, small cries falling from her lips. Armin was standing next to her with one hand on her shoulder; he was saying something but Eren couldn’t hear what it was.

He felt guilt hit the bottom of his stomach, making him feel sick. He didn’t want to make her cry, in fact he hated it, he just wanted to go over there and make her laugh or make her smile like she normally did. He couldn’t though, because he made her cry in the first place. Eren kept going up the steps but now more guilty than angry.

 

**_Thirteen Years Old_ **

“Mikasa!” Eren called across the lunch room when he saw the black haired girl enter through the doors. She smiled and waved as she made her way across the room, her bagged lunch in hand. Eren sat back down next to Armin satisfied Mikasa knew where they were.

“Is she your girlfriend?” Connie asked, popping up next to Eren.

Eren shoved his face away. “No, you moron, she’s Armin and I’s best friend.”

“Then how come you’re always with her?” Connie didn’t seem to be acting rude or even making fun of Eren, but that didn’t make him any less annoying.

“I just told you, she’s our best friend.” Eren unwrapped the sandwich his mom had packed him.

“But she’s a girl.”

Eren looked over at him. “Oh wow, Connie, thank you for telling me I had no idea.”

“Eren,” Armin said his voice both a little weary and a little amused.

Eren rolled his eyes and bit into his sandwich. “Guys can be friends with girls, ya know,” he said once he had swallowed. “We’ve been friends with her for years, nothings gonna change that.”

Connie’s eyes were wide with interest. “But have you ever thought about kissing her?”

Eren felt his sandwich bite go right down the wrong tube.

“Hello,” Mikasa smiled as she sat down next to Eren who was choking on his food thanks to Connie. “Are you okay?” She instantly reached over to rub his back which only made Connie grin wider.

“I’m fine,” he snapped, with a little more bite than he intended to.

Mikasa eyed him but she retracted her hand and opened her bag to pull out her own food.

“How was the doctor’s appointment?” Armin asked her to which she answered him but Eren was having a hard time paying attention to the conversation.

Connie must have gotten bored and ran off which Eren was thankful for. He didn’t know how or if he could even admit that he had.

****

**_Fourteen Years Old_ **

Whoever decided to have history first thing in the morning obviously never had to sit through it. Eren was nodding off in his seat for the past half hour with no end of this class in sight. He probably shouldn’t have stayed up so late the night before but him and Mikasa were on a roll beating the new video game his dad bought him. Armin passed out at about midnight but Eren and Mikasa were up till like 2am before they both fell asleep in front of the TV.

Armin looked fine, as he would since he slept most the night, but Mikasa in the seat next to him also looked perfectly fine. Eren picked up his pen and scribbled _How are you even alive right now? I’m about to pass out_ on his notepad before carefully ripping it off the paper. He held the paper low in the aisle, knowing just where the teacher couldn’t see it until he felt Mikasa take it from him.

She wrote out something before passing it back to him like they had done countless times.

_Because I got yelled at by my mom this morning when I went home,_ it read in Mikasa’s clean hand writing.

_Why? It’s not like staying over made you late for school._ Eren saw a little smile on her face when she read over his note before she passed it back to him.

_Because my mom said we’re too old to have sleep overs and that it’s inappropriate now. I got in trouble because she said I should know better._

Eren’s forehead furrowed as he read. What? That was stupid. Mikasa had been sleeping over with Armin and him since they were nine. What changed now? _It’s not like it was the first time you’ve slept over. Why does she care now?_

Mikasa took a bit longer to answer this time, though she didn’t look like she was writing just thinking. He unfolded the paper when she passed it back to him. _She said that we’re teenagers and that it made things different now. She said I can’t stay over because you and Armin and boys and I’m a girl. She said it wasn’t appropriate anymore._

Eren stared down at the note as guilt filled the pit of his stomach. Could Mrs. A know about the dreams he was having? No, that was impossible; he hadn’t even told Armin about them. Eren had been far too embarrassed to even bring it up. How was he supposed to say he kept having dreams that were always full of kissing and touching and always waking him up in a cold sweat with an aching desire he never knew before? To top it all off, the girl, the girl who was always in his dreams was Mikasa which made it all the more mortifying.  

_That’s dumb. I’ll ask my mom about it, cause she didn’t seem to care,_ he finally wrote before he reached over to pass the note to her.

“Mr. Jaeger and Miss Ackerman, do you plan on paying attention this class or are you just going to pass notes to each other the whole time?”

Eren felt his face heat up as all his classmates’ eyes seemed to be on them, and he was already feeling flustered to begin with. The room started to snicker and Eren couldn’t even look over to Mikasa in embarrassment and not just getting caught passing notes.

“Sorry, Mr. Hannes,” Eren muttered hearing Mikasa do the same as he tried to sink lower in his seat.

 

**_Fifteen Years Old_ **

Eren dug through his locker trying to find that stupid science book he knew he put in there yesterday but for the life of him he couldn’t find it.

**“** Shit, Miss Zoe is gonna kill me if I don’t have that book again,” he muttered, tossing a few things on the ground of the hall as he searched.

“Looking for this?”

Eren looked up to see Armin holding his Biology book in front of his face. “You’re a lifesaver, Armin. Where'd you find that?” Eren grabbed the book from Armin’s hands before shoving it into his bag and going to pick up the mess he had made on the ground.

“You left it on the kitchen counter this morning,” Armin laughed leaning against the lockers.

Figures. With all the work they were giving them this year, it was a miracle he didn’t leave all his books on the kitchen counter. Eren was about to ask how much time they had but a voice caught his ear.

It was just Jean, which normally would make Eren grunt and turn in the opposite direction, but it was the name that came from Jean’s mouth that made Eren turn to look at him. Jean was standing near Mikasa’s locker, talking to her about something; Eren couldn’t hear what it was just that Jean said her name. Whatever it was she didn’t look too interested just paying attention to be nice, which did give Eren a great deal of satisfaction.

He nodded over there. “I’m gonna go rescue her.” Before he could Armin grabbed a hold of Eren’s shoulder.

“I wouldn’t,” Armin said, looking a little amused.

“Why the hell not? He’s clearly bothering her.”

“Eren, he’s trying to ask her out,” Armin spoke the words carefully, like it was Eren who didn’t understand the situation.

He felt irritation surge up in the pit of his stomach. He was _what_? Jean seriously thought he was good enough to date Mikasa? Eren scoffed as he shrugged out of Armin’s grip; now Eren really was gonna go over there and give a piece of his mind.

“Your hair looks really nice today,” Jean was saying when Eren got closer. He heard the shake in Jean’s voice telling Eren he was nervous, chattering about Mikasa’s hair of all things.

“What're you gonna do next, tell her she has a nice shirt?” Eren growled as he moved to stand next to Mikasa.

Jean’s face started to turn red, whether from anger or embarrassment Eren wasn’t quite sure. “What the hell do you want, Jaeger? This is none of your business.”

“Of course it is,” Eren snapped back, though he wasn’t entirely sure where his anger was coming from. It was perfectly natural for someone to want to ask Mikasa out; she was gorgeous and smart and kind as well as being able to knock Eren off his feet with one move. He shook his head, that didn’t matter, what did was getting Jean away from her. “So let’s get this over with. Ask her out and get rejected so we can get onto class.”

“Eren,” Mikasa said, telling him she didn’t quite approve of his choice of words and Jean definitely didn’t judging by the face he was now making.

**“** What is your fucking problem **?** This is absolutely none of your business! You don’t speak for her! Mikasa can speak for herself.”

Eren looked over to Mikasa, gesturing for her to answer Jean. Eren knew her since she was nine years old, he knew her better than himself sometimes, and Eren very well knew Mikasa didn’t have any sort of feelings for Jean; though the thought didn’t stop the way Eren’s heart was pounding angrily in his chest.

She gave Eren a look mixed with frustration and guilt before looking back to Jean. “Jean, I…” She didn’t even need to finish her sentence, he caught on enough.

Jean looked disappointed and embarrassed for a moment that Eren kinda felt bad for him; he must've worked up to asking her out and Eren kinda ruined that for him. That guilt went away very fast when Jean’s anger came back, and had Eren pushed up against the lockers. “What is it about you, huh?” Jean hissed, his hand gripping the collar of Eren’s shirt to keep him pinned. “What the hell does she see in you? Cause all I see is an asshole.”

Eren squirmed slightly under Jean’s iron grip, his head already aching from hitting the metal doors behind him. He was about to snap back, about to deck the guy in the face for touching him but Mikasa’s sharp voice stopped him.

“Enough,” she said, stepping in between them. “Let him go, Jean.”

Jean looked like he wasn’t gonna listen for a moment, but with a frustrated noise he let go of Eren.

Mikasa reached up to touched the back of Eren’s head, her eyes still a little angry with him but there was concern in there too. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Eren grunted, watching Jean walking away from them, his hands shoved in his pockets. Eren made a move to go after him but Mikasa placed a hand on Eren’s chest.

“Leave him alone. You didn’t need to butt in and make it worse. I had it perfectly under control.” Her voice had an edge to it, but the way her hand was rubbing the back of his head was already calming him down.

Really, Eren had no idea why he did it. Mikasa wasn’t in danger, except maybe of giving out her first rejection to a date but the anger he felt was unlike the temper he was used to. He couldn’t stand Jean talking to her like that, thinking he had a chance.

“That went well,” Armin said, still standing in his spot from the sidelines.

The bell rang before Eren could ask him why the hell he was grinning like that.

 

**_Sixteen Years Old_ **

Eren wasn’t sure what horrible things he had done in his life but he was pretty sure he didn’t deserve this. His dad was at work and his mom was at a hair appointment, even Armin was busy at an afterschool study group leaving Eren alone at his house with Mikasa. That really wasn’t all that unusual but she insisted on looking gorgeous and wearing a tight fitting sweater, leggings, and a short skirt. All he could do was keep his eyes on the TV trying not to pay attention to beautiful girl sitting on the couch next to him.

He tried to convince himself his feelings for her were just because she was his best friend who happened to be a girl. Of course he was attracted to her. Of course he hated other guys flirting with her, hitting on her, asking her out. What made him realize was the way he wanted to be the one asking her out, he wanted to be the one closest to her, be able to love her past just a childhood friend, past just a best friend. God, he just wanted to kiss her so bad.

“Eren?” Her voice was enough to send chills down his spine.

“Yeah?” he grunted, glancing over at Mikasa. He immediately regretted it when he saw the way she was biting her lower lip, her eyes shining with concern.

“Is something wrong?”

Oh great, now she was worried about him. He tried to force a smile. “Just tired from school today.”

Mikasa gestured for him to come closer to her. That probably wasn’t the best thing to do but how could he ever resist her. He started to move over as Mikasa leaned back against the armrest with Eren trying to look anywhere but at her skirt that was sliding up on her covered thighs. He knew what she wanted and Eren knew it would be his downfall but he moved so his back was against her chest, his head falling against her shoulder. One of her legs was pressed up between him and the couch and the other was dangling off the side. Eren felt her body radiating heat onto him, raising goose bumps on his skin.

“Is that better?” Her voice was in his ear, warm breath on his neck.

“Yeah,” he choked out, closing his eyes. “Thanks.” Despite the edge he was feeling from being so close to her, he still couldn’t help but feel that level of comfort he knew with Mikasa. God, he was such an idiot. How could he fall for his best friend? How could he ever tell her without crossing that line and ruining their friendship?

He shook his head, trying to forget all that and just enjoy being near her with no one else around. Granted, that did only make his mind drift to what he’d rather be doing with her while they were alone.  No, that didn’t help and neither did the way her hand started running through his hair. Jesus Christ. He almost felt all the blood in his body rushing downwards, his pants starting to get tight.

In a slight panic (please, God, please don’t let her notice), he grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and tossed it over him.

Mikasa laughed lightly; he didn’t miss the way her breath had caught in her throat and it still made him freeze. Did she notice?

“You can fall asleep. No one will be home for a bit,” she said, her other hand draping over his shoulder.

“The way you keep running your hand in my hair I probably will.” He meant it as a joke but his voice was still choked. Eren heard her laugh again before she rested her head against his.

Great, Eren thought as his arousal throbbed painfully in his pants. He was both in the most mortifying situation of his life and the most pleasurable.

 

 

**_Seventeen Years Old_ **

“Mom, I’m only walking across the street, you don’t have to come with him,” Eren said as he was trying to shut his house door behind him and Armin but his mom already put a foot in the door stopping him.

“And miss seeing my only son on the night of his Junior Prom, I don’t think so.” She was pushing her way out, camera in hand. “And Armin too of course. I need to get pictures cause Lord knows you two aren’t going to take any.”

Eren rolled his eyes. “You can see us right now.”

“It’s not the same and you know it.” She waved him off already crossing the street to the Ackerman’s.

“Better just let her have this, son.” Grisha clasped his hand onto Eren’s shoulder as he walked by, following his wife.

“You traitor,” Eren growled causing Armin to laugh next to him. “What?”

“You can’t blame them,” Armin shrugged, following them into the road. “I’m sure they’ve been waiting a long time for this day. I know I have.”

Eren shoved one of his hands into his suit pants pocket as he crossed the street last, his parents already walking  in the Ackerman’s house. He very well knew Armin wasn’t referring to prom but to the fact Eren had (in Armin’s words “finally, _finally_ , thank God”) asked Mikasa out. Of course, he had to do it for prom meaning not only was he nervous about going to the stupid thing he heard about since he was a kid but it was going to be his first date with Mikasa, the girl he had grew up with and the one he was falling in love with since he didn’t even know when. Add in his parents to the mix, and her parents for that matter, Eren wanted to die before he even reached the door.

His parents were chatting away with her parents and the Colonel, Armin smiling off to the side with that stupid “I always told you so” grin he had on for days now.

“Shut up,” Eren grunted, weakly pushing Armin with his shoulder.

“Well, look at you,” Mrs. A said as she made her way to give Eren a hug. “Don’t you look as handsome as ever.”

“Thanks,” Eren tried to smile but he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks.

Mrs. A was still smiling at him when she went back to where his mom was but Eren wasn’t quite sure how happy she actually was about the loud mouthed boy with the bad temper from across the street dating her daughter.

“C’mon, ladies, they’re waiting for you,” Mr. A said from his spot leaning up against stair railing.

“Coming!” Mikasa’s voice called back; Eren was a mix of wanting to sink into the wall and wanting nothing more than to just see her.

Annie was the first one down the stairs wearing a blue dress that matched her eyes and Eren was pretty sure his mom was about to burst into tears as she pushed Annie and Armin together to take a few (thousand) pictures. Armin looked perfectly fine as he smiled for pictures, putting the corsage he was holding on Annie’s slender hand.

Everyone was so busy gushing over the first couple of the night that it seemed only Eren noticed Mikasa standing at the top of the stairs, still hidden from the others and he had to remind himself how to breathe when he saw her. Her short hair brushed her shoulders, the red of her long dress only making her dark eyes shine more than usual.

She made a face and gestured to their parents and the Colonel, flashes from the camera going off everywhere.

Eren snorted and rolled his eyes, though he was having a hard time looking away from her. He felt his dad come stand behind him, placing his hands on Eren’s shoulders.

“I’m glad you finally realized what was in front of you all this time.” His dad waved up to Mikasa who gave him a shy wave back. “Don’t be too nervous, son, she’s still the girl you’ve known all these years.”

Eren nodded, though his hands were still sweating onto the plastic container he was holding.

“Mikasa, sweetheart,” his dad called up, getting the others’ attention as well. “I think you should come down before Carla runs out of room on her camera.”

Mikasa covered her mouth trying to hide her laugh as she slowly walked down the stairs.

“Oh, Mikasa,” Carla sighed, one hand over her heart. There was a similar reaction around the room but Mikasa didn’t seem to pay any mind, she just walked until she was standing in front of Eren.

“Hi,” she said, a smile already on her lips.

“Hi.” Eren tried to keep the waver out of his voice but it was nearly impossible not to. He felt everyone’s eyes on them, the cameras going off. He nearly dropped the corsage when he tried to open it, his hands shaking as he fumbled to get it on her wrist.

Mikasa grabbed his shaking hand in hers as she looked up to meet his eyes. “It’s okay,” she mouthed to him but Eren felt her hand quaking just a bit. She was nervous too.

“Alright,” Armin said. “We have to get going before we’re late.”

Eren silently thanked his best friend. Granted they still had to get around Eren’s mom hugging everyone, especially Mikasa, the Colonel telling him and Armin how proud he was of the men they grew into, and Mr. A, of course  the cop, making sure Eren was going to bring his daughter home on time with little to about five threats of personal injury (he assured Eren he was kidding, but Eren wasn’t so sure about that). Needless to say, Eren was relieved when the cool afternoon air is his body as they walked out to Armin’s car.

Annie slid in the front seat while Eren held open the back door for Mikasa.

“Armin,” she said, arching an eyebrow up at him.

“Whoops,” Armin said, peeking in the back seat and not sounding too upset. “I must have forgot to clean out the car from when I was bringing old clothes to donate for the Colonel.”

Mikasa slid into the car, sitting snug in the middle, with Eren taking the seat next to her while Armin started the car to make the drive to the ballroom in a banquet hall in the city where the prom was taking place. The car was pretty quiet, the radio playing lightly and Armin and Annie talking about something but Eren wasn’t really paying attention, he was too busy looking down at the girl sitting next to him.

“What?” she asked when she looked up noticing his gaze.

Eren shook his head but she nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. “Okay,” he laughed. “You just…look really beautiful tonight. Not to say you don’t all the time, but just…ah…you know…” he struggled to find what he was trying to say but it wasn’t working for him.

Mikasa placed her hand over his as she looked back up to him. “Thank you.”

Eren wasn’t sure what it was; if it was the way no matter how nervous he felt that she always found a way to calm him down, or the way she looked at him with such adoration that he never knew before, or if it was just because he had wanted to for God knows how long but the next thing he knew his lips were pressed up against hers.

He felt her gasp against him, but quickly melt right into his kiss, moving her lips with his. Eren reached up to cup her jaw, his heart pounding in his ears but nothing, nothing felt better than this, than her.

“Seriously?” Armin asked causing Eren to look up seeing his friend’s blue eyes in the rearview mirror. “We haven’t even gotten there yet, you two.” The smile on Armin’s lips was clear enough.

“That’s okay,” Eren said, turning back to Mikasa. This time it was her who grabbed his faced and pulled his lips to hers.

Armin’s voice rang in his ears. “Finally, _finally,_ thank God.”

 

**_Eighteen Years Old_ **

“Eren,” a voice hissed near him but he was still too sleepy to care. Granted he did recognize the voice right away, though his name on her lips sounded a bit different than it had last night.

“It’s not funny, Eren,” Mikasa said, shaking his body. “Its 10am!”

He opened his eyes slightly to see her leaning over him. He reached up around her waist to pull her back down on his bed with him.

“I’m serious!” she said but she really wasn’t fighting all that much, her thin night shirt riding up under his grasp. “You were supposed to set your alarm.”

“Why?” he mumbled, nuzzling his head into her neck, leaving light kisses on her skin.

“Because,” she swatted at him but not nearly enough to make him stop. “My parents didn’t like me sleeping over when we were kids let alone when we're dating.” Her breath hitched in her throat when Eren bit down on her skin. “And we were supposed to meet Armin a half hour ago at school. In case you forgot, we're graduating today.”

“I didn’t forget,” Eren said against her skin, his hands moving to run up her back. “I just had more important things on my mind.”

Mikasa opened her mouth, probably to object, but Eren pressed his lips to hers before she could. By the way her hands reached up to tangle in his hair, it was clear she wasn’t objecting anymore. Until a loud knock rang against his door.

“Yeah?” Eren called out but still not letting Mikasa go.

“Aren’t you supposed to be, I don’t know graduating from high school today?” his mom said from behind the door.

“Maybe.”

“Please get up and go we’ll meet you there. Also, Mrs. Ackerman stopped by to say while she’s pretending her daughter is sleeping over Sasha’s house that Mikasa better not be late to her own graduation. Her dress and gown are hanging on the door.”

Mikasa tried to hold back a laugh but it didn’t quite go so well.

“Okay, Mom,” Eren said, but once she walked away her reached up to kiss Mikasa again. Until his phone started ringing.

Mikasa rolled off him to start getting ready when Eren reached for the buzzing phone, Armin’s picture shining on the screen.

“Hey, Buddy, what’s up?”

“Oh you know, just wondering where my two best friends are on our graduation day.”

“Why is everyone so hung up on graduation this morning?” Eren felt Mikasa toss some clothes on his bed.

“Well, it could be because the ceremony starts in an hour. Are you at least on your way.”

“Uhh…” Eren looked over to Mikasa who was sliding her dress on. “Almost?”

He could hear Armin snort. “You haven’t even left have you?”

“Yeah, I was a little distracted all night, okay.”

“ _Okay,_ I’m done with this conversation. I maybe your best friend, but Mikasa is like my sister. I don’t wanna know just get here soon.”

“Love you too,” Eren said but heard Armin laughing before he hung up.

“Why are you dragging your feet so much? Shouldn’t you be excited we never have to go back to high school?” Mikasa was brushing her hair in his bathroom mirror.

“I am, just not so happy ‘J’ and ‘K’ are so close together in the alphabet when you and Armin get to sit next to each other for the whole ceremony.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes, coming to sit down on the bed next to him. “I know that’s not all that’s bothering you so out with it.”

Eren looked down at his hands; this was so stupid. He should be excited about graduation high school and being able to move on with the next part of his life but he couldn’t get the nagging feeling out of the pit of his stomach. “What if this changes everything?”

She gave him a questioning look.

“You know,” he shrugged, reaching a hand behind his head to scratch at his neck. “What they say about high school relationships.”

Her face softened as she reached over to place a hand on his cheek. “You know this doesn’t change anything. I’ve loved you long before high school, I’ll love you long after.”

Eren leaned into her touch. “I love you too.”

“Then go get in the shower so we can leave.”

A smile pulled at his lips. “Only if you come with me.”

“I’ve already showered and I’m already dressed.”

“I can easily change that.”

 

**_Nineteen Years Old_ **

“Remember when we tried to go sledding in your front yard,” Mikasa said, pointing out the window, snowflakes falling outside the glass. “But there’s no hill so you just pulled me and Armin around for an hour.”

Eren laughed, his head leaning up against the wall as he stared out the front window with Mikasa. She was curled up in front of him on the windowsill seat, her head against his chest and his arms around her waist. One of his legs was propped up near the window, the other one dangling down to give Mikasa more room on the cushioned seat.

He really was enjoying college much more than high school, even if it was just for the extended Christmas breaks they got. He could almost smell the cookies and pies his mom was cooking in the kitchen. They offered to help her, but she shooed them away which is when they found themselves here.

“You know, this is the first place I ever saw you,” Eren said, placing his chin on her head.

“You did not, you met me at my house. I remember that.”

Eren shook his head. “When you moved in, I was watching the movers from the window. I saw you and Mr. A playing some sort of game.”

“Oh? And what did you think?”

“That I suddenly wasn’t interested anymore.”

Mikasa slapped him on the chest but Eren only laughed.

“It’s true! I was a nine year old boy, what did you expect?”

She shook her head, but Eren could feel her laughing against his chest. It seemed like decades ago, though really it had just been one. Ten years from the day he met the girl who would be the one he played in the mud with, the girl he grew up with to the girl he fell in love with.

Mikasa looked up at him. “Would you change it?”

“Never.”

His mom’s head popped out through the kitchen door. “Okay, you two, who wants to lick the bowl.”

Eren looked down at Mikasa, who in turn looked back to him. Neither was sure who got up to run to the kitchen faster.


	70. You've Always Done the Same For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've Always Done the Same For Me
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series; Set in same world and before as I'll Be Home for Christmas  
> Words: 2748  
> Rating: K+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Midbightblaze7 asked for a scene like the one in Fast Five when the team finds out that Mia is pregnant. Fast and Furious is my guilty pleasure so of course I was more than happy to do this one. Besides, I never do enough post series with all of them together do to my depressing headcanons. I also really love Sasha and Mikasa being good friends; I think it's absolutely precious. Title is from "Gone, Gone, Gone" by Phillip Phillips.

Mikasa practically collapsed onto the couch in one of the officer’s rooms. Armin was already in there, sitting at one of the tables looking over some paperwork though he was arching his eyebrow up at her when she looked up.

“Tired?” he asked, but he did look a little more amused than anything.

“I feel like fighting titans was easier than dealing with new recruits.” Mikasa laid her head back against the couch, just wanting to take a nap more than anything though. Granted she wasn’t sure how much Levi would appreciate having one of his senior officers sleeping through training classes in a break room.

Armin snorted. “No, sometimes I think the same. Even though they raised the enlistment age, it still seems like these kids take a lot more discipline than we ever did and I only teach the strategy and mapping training.”

Mikasa stared up at the ceiling. She couldn’t remember a time she felt so exhausted in the middle of the day and she still had more classes to train later in the day, not to mention the mission she was scheduled to lead next week. A hand fluttered to her stomach feeling the soft swell under her button up that was intentionally a size too big for her. It had only been a few months; she knew it was only going to get worse as time went on exhaustion wise but as well as keeping it to the few people who knew.

Armin turned back to his paperwork. “You’re gonna have to tell him eventually.”

“It’s not me whose putting off telling him,” Mikasa said, a small smile pulling at her lips.

“It’s you putting off telling everyone else though.”

Well, that was true. “I just don’t want them to make a big deal about it.”

Armin looked back over to her, though this time he was smiling. “It _is_ a big deal. The first generation to be born free. It’s a good thing, Mikasa, and its special because of who it is. It’s not just me whose known you two since we were kids. There aren’t many of us left; any reason to still celebrate is a good thing.”

Leave it to Armin to make her start to get choked up. The first generation born free. It was true wasn’t it? Her thumb absentmindedly rubbed over her stomach. All she was thinking about when she found out was that she finally got to have her family with Eren. Sure it probably wasn't ideal timing; they were still working on rebuilding the Scouting Legion, which was taking leaps and bounds every day and troops of recruits coming in every few weeks for her to train on weapon and endurance  skills they’d need on missions. She still couldn’t have helped but feel anything but happy, with a little bit of worry and fear. Telling Eren had relieved some of that, seeing how happy he was too but she still had to tell her old friends, and her superior officers.

The door to the room opened and quickly shut again. “I see I wasn’t the only one seeking refuge.”

Mikasa couldn’t bite back the smile on her lips when she heard Eren’s voice and saw him walking towards them. Yeah, she saw him every day, like she always had, but that was all she wanted.

“That bad?” Armin asked as Eren flopped down next to Mikasa.

“Not really. I was teaching them hand to hand today, but it’s just one of those days. Good kids and eager to learn it’s just so different than when we were trained. ” He reached over to wrap both his arms carefully around her stomach, pulling her slightly into his lap.

“That’s because we were trained for very different things,” Mikasa said, leaning her head against his shoulder, the collar of the familiar uniform jacket rubbing into her face.

It really only was a year since the peace came to them, a year since they started over in the Scouting Legion and made its purpose that of mapping and pushing the boundaries. Since then people, both kids and adults, wanted to join the Scouting Legion to explore the world, and they were all welcome; provided they could put up with training. They still had people who could specialize in 3DM Gear, always needing a few in each squad, and people who could specialize in medicine, in combat and weapons, in strategy and mapping. There were so many new divisions and so many new ways to help the world that sometimes it was hard not to see how much had changed since they were twelve years old in training to join the Scouting Legion.

Mikasa laced her hand with Eren’s when his fingers started to trace patterns over her stomach. She looked up to see those eyes she knew so well looking back down at her.

“Feeling okay?” he asked, resting his chin on her head.

“Yeah, just worn out today.”

“Maybe you should take it easy a little bit more. Other people can help with the training you do.”

A smile pulled at her lips. “Maybe you should tell Levi so I can actually get time off.”

“Maybe we can wait a little bit longer.”

Armin let out a loud laugh as he turned to look at them. “You knew that would work wouldn’t you.”

Mikasa nodded trying to hold back her own laughter but it didn’t work, not when Eren let out that exasperated groan of his.

“Did someone start having a party without inviting us? I am incredibly insulted.”

Mikasa hadn’t even heard the door open, but there was Connie and Jean standing inside the room now.

“No,” Armin said. “I’m pretty sure we could find a better place for a party then this room.”

Connie shrugged in agreement as he took a seat in a nearby chair, reaching his arms over his head while Jean sat down at the table with Armin. “I can’t believe we all have the same time off for once. Normally, that never happens. Maybe things are slowing down a bit before the next round of missions.”

“We have plenty of older recruits ready to go back out and newer ones primed to go on their first ones,” Armin said putting down his pencil. “It’s we don’t have enough Squad Leaders to go around right now. We need to do some promoting quickly especially when we have two groups that leave together at a time.”

Connie grimaced. “No talking work rule in the break room. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.”

“You do realize you’re leaving in a few days to take one of those missions,” Jean snorted.

“Yeah, that’s different. I’m working then, I’m not working right now so shhh.”

Mikasa had to hold onto Eren’s hands to get him to stop rubbing over her stomach; their friends were used to a certain level of affection from the both of them, but that was like screaming that she was pregnant. She wasn’t quite ready for that.

Armin must've seen her do it because he started to chuckle again, clearly amused over something.

Jean gave a quick glance to Armin and to Mikasa. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Armin said with a shake of the head.

Jean didn’t quite look like he was ready to let it drop but the door slammed open and shut again causing everyone to look up. Sasha was standing there with cups in one hand, and something hidden under her jacket in the other.

“Sash, what did you steal now?” Connie asked, but he looked pretty eager to see exactly what it was.

“Oh, just you wait,” she said, quickly walking over to the table with Armin and Jean to set the cups down. “I was hoping to find all you guys in one place, or at least enough to go find everyone. And I didn’t steal it; I just didn’t want anyone to see me with it.”

“No one believes that, just get on with it,” Jean said.

Sasha pulled out a bottle that was thin up at the top and thicker down at the bottom; a wine bottle.

Mikasa felt her stomach drop.

“Where did you get that!” Connie practically moaned reaching for the bottle that Sasha was holding away from him. 

“I just happened to find it,” Sasha said, obviously keeping a bit of the details away from her friends. “And I wanted to share it with my favorite people.”

Jean took the bottle from her hands as he examined the cork. “Did you-”

She handed him the cork opener from her back pocket.

Mikasa watched as Jean popped the cork on the wine, getting a cheer from Sasha and Connie while she started to unstack the cups. Mikasa wasn’t sure how she was gonna get out of this one without telling everyone why she couldn’t partake in the celebrations. It was Eren who told her she should stay away from alcohol, something he read in one his father’s books years ago and it really was just fine, they didn’t drink all that much to begin with. This though, this would take some kinda lie which Mikasa didn’t want to do, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for the other alternative yet.

Sasha grabbed the bottle from Jean and started to pour out the red liquid into the cups, though Connie had already grabbed one off the table. “Don’t drink it yet,” she laughed. “We have to toast first.”

“A toast to what?” Armin asked, a light smile on his face.

Sasha paused for a moment. “I dunno, we’ll think of somethin’.” She gestured for Armin to grab one while she grabbed two and made her way to the couch. She held out one to Eren who grabbed his but Mikasa couldn’t even bring herself to take hers from Sasha.

“I’m okay,” Mikasa tried, giving Sasha a smile.

“What do you mean you’re okay?” Sasha laughed. “This is a treat, c’mon, it’s just one cup.”

Mikasa’s heart was pounding in her ears. What was she supposed to say? Even if she took it Sasha would know if she never drank it, and Mikasa didn’t want to hurt her friend’s feelings but what else was she supposed to do? “I can’t drink it.”

Sasha’s brow furrowed. “I’ve seen you drink wine before, why can’t you?”

Mikasa was well aware of all the eyes on her now, not just Sasha’s. Connie and Jean looked curious whereas Armin looked like he was about to burst out laughing just waiting for her to come up with an answer and Eren was just swirling his wine around behind her, probably wondering what she was gonna say as well. What help he was.

She was pretty good at keeping a straight face so lying was a bit easier for her; she could probably think of something to say. She didn’t feel well, the last time she drank didn’t end up too well, she had to go talk to Levi soon, she had to go teach a class soon, anything probably would have worked. Yet as Mikasa watched Sasha’s kind brown eyes watching her, Mikasa’s only girlfriend and someone who knew her for years and years, she had a desire to tell her something else.

A smile pulled at Mikasa’s lips as she met Sasha’s eyes. “I’m pregnant.”

It was a good thing Armin was paying attention, because his had was there to catch the glass that Sasha dropped to bring both of her hands over her mouth. “Are you serious?” Her voice was a little muffled behind her hands but Mikasa heard the mix of surprise and excitement in Sasha’s tone.

Mikasa nodded unable to bite back a laugh as Connie let out a cat call.

Sasha let out a noise of excitement that Mikasa was pretty sure she hadn’t heard since they were trainees before Sasha dove down to wrap her arms around Mikasa’s neck, hugging her tightly. “Why didn’t you say something before!” Sasha said as she pulled away to look at Mikasa again.

She shrugged, unsure what else to say but Sasha didn’t seem to mind.

“May I?” she asked, sitting back on her knees on the couch and gesturing to Mikasa’s stomach.

“Yeah,” Mikasa said as Eren moved his hand out of the way.

Sasha’s touch was gentle as if she thought she was going to hurt Mikasa or the baby but as the brunette placed her full hand down on Mikasa’s swollen stomach, Sasha’s eyes started to glisten. “You weren’t kidding,” she choked looking a bit in awe. She leaned into to Mikasa a little bit. “When're you gonna tell Eren its Jean’s baby?”

“Aren’t you hilarious,” Eren said. “I was there, you know, I’m pretty aware it’s my kid.”

Sasha laughed as she sat back up giving Mikasa’s belly a rub before leaning into to hug her again. “I’m so happy for you. I know it’s what you’ve always wanted.”

Mikasa closed her eyes, feeling a bit more emotional than normal as she hugged Sasha back.

“I always knew you had it in ya, buddy,” Connie said.

Jean grunted. “God help me, so did I.”

Sasha pulled away from Mikasa as Armin held up his glass. “I think we have something to toast to now,” he said with a grin.

“We do!” Sasha scurried up to her feet as Armin handed her a glass. She held it up as everyone but Mikasa followed suit. “To new life in a new world.”

 Everyone gave up a shout of cheers before bringing the glasses to their lips. For a moment Mikasa wished she could've joined them but as Eren’s hand snaked back around her waist to rest on her stomach, she knew she was much happier like this.

“Enjoying drinking on military grounds?”

That was until she saw Levi, with Hanji behind him, standing in the doorway. She was waving at them, but Levi looked about as disgusted as normal.

“Captain!” Sasha squeaked, scooting over to hide the bottle. “We were just…relaxing?”

Levi stepped into the room with Hanji following and shutting the door behind her. “I didn’t know relaxing involved toasting and drinking wine. Most of you at least.” He glanced over to Mikasa. “At least you learned something decent when you lived with a doctor. He probably dropped that bit of information knowing Jaeger would knock you up someday.”

Eren choked on his drink.

Levi arched an eyebrow. “Did you really think I wasn’t going to notice? I’ve known you brats since you were fifteen years old. It wasn’t that difficult to work out.” He looked over to Sasha. “Well, are you gonna pour us a goddamn drink. Hanji is practically pushing me out of the way to go interrogate those two.”

“Yes, sir!” Sasha said, pouring another glass for Levi while Jean handed Mikasa’s glass to Hanji.

“I was not,” Hanji said. “Thank you, Jean. I just wanted to ask them a few questions, that’s all.”

“If it’s anything that only you would care about, chances are no one wants to hear about it least of all me,” Levi said with a nod when Sasha passed him a glass.

“But-”

“No one wants to hear the words ‘How did it happen?’ being uttered from your mouth, for scientific reasons or not.”

Connie clasped his hand over his mouth trying not to laugh but it didn’t work. Soon the rest of the room was laughing too and it was more than enough to bring a smile back to Mikasa’s face; not when for so long a room they were all in brought nothing but dread and fear.

“You better watch after her, brat,” Levi said, eyes flickering over to Eren. “She’ll overwork herself and not listen to anyone. Take care of her.”

“Always, sir,” Eren said, though he sounded like he was still recovering from choking.

Levi raised his glass slightly to Eren who, as Mikasa glanced back at him, did the same before they both took a drink.

She leaned her head back against Eren’s chest and laced her hands with his again as she looked around as Sasha pouring Connie more, Hanji trying to get any details she could out of Armin and Jean trying to get her to stop talking. A weight felt like it was off her shoulders; that hadn’t been too bad at all.

At least she knew their baby would have the best Aunts and Uncles there were.


	71. Do You Wanna Touch Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do You Wanna Touch Me
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern AU; They're seniors in high school  
> Rating: T (Light Sexual Situations)  
> Words: 3591

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Ryvius who asked for Mikasa getting tired of Eren being well Eren and taking the situation into her own hands. This was really fun to write cause generally I do write it the opposite but I'm pretty sure after a while even Mikasa would get plenty fed up with him being off in his own little world and want him to see her as someone who isn't just his friend. Title is from the song of the same name as covered by Joan Jett.

Mikasa couldn’t bite back a smile when she saw Eren wave her over to the cafeteria table him and Armin were sitting at. She knew it was because, well, they had been sitting together at lunch every day since they were nine but it still made her heart skip. She weaved her way through the crowds of people until she placed her lunch on the table.

“Class run late?” Eren asked, biting down on his sandwich.

“Yeah, Mr. Bozado doesn’t seem to understand when to stop talking,” she shrugged sitting down next to Eren and waving to Armin who was eating some macaroni.

Eren rolled his eyes. “Ain’t that the truth. Oh, Armin, I forgot to tell you. This weekend we’re…”

Mikasa reached down to open her bag and pull out her neatly organized containers Levi forced her to use. She heard Eren letting Armin know of the plans to hang out this weekend but Mikasa found it hard to keep her heart from pounding in her chest every time Eren’s elbow brushed against her. She knew her stupid crush on her stupid best friend was the dumbest thing she could've ever gotten herself into but it was impossible for her breath not to get caught in her throat when his bright eyes met hers.

She stabbed her juice box a little harder than she should've.

“Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll have to check with the Colonel to make sure but…” Armin was saying.

Armin, he was the one who was always telling her she just needed to tell him, that Eren was so dense for a nearly eighteen year old boy he probably didn’t even know. Mikasa tried…well, as best she could to just tell him how she felt (that it didn’t go over very well since she chickened out) so she tried to show him instead but he never seemed to catch on. She did try to show it by always hanging out, doing things for him, just showing him how much she appreciated him and loved being around him. Still Mikasa was convinced he only saw her as his best girl friend and nothing more.

“Hey, Eren.”

The sudden and different female voice snapped Mikasa’s head up. Eren didn’t have many friends outside of herself and Armin and this was a voice she didn’t recognize. Her heart lept into her throat when she looked up to see the curly haired brunette with dark green eyes; she was gorgeous.

“Oh, uh, hey, what’s up?” Eren seemed a little confused but the girl only smiled wider at him.

“I was just wondering if you were busy this weekend? I thought we could hang out or something.”

Mikasa’s stomach turned. This girl was asking Eren out, this beautiful girl was asking him out. Mikasa felt like she was gonna throw up or cry, her heart pounding in her ears.

“That’s nice of you, but I have plans this weekend with my friends. I’m sorry,” Eren answered with a small though a bit awkward smile.

The girl looked disappointed. “Maybe some other time?”

“Yeah, sure,” he answered giving her a wave as she walked away.

Mikasa felt herself relax that Eren didn’t blow her and Armin of for some girl but Mikasa’s hands were shaking. What if she lost him? He never really paid attention to other girls before but they were older, that was always bound to change.

“Who was that?” Armin asked Eren but when she looked up, Armin was watching her.

“Huh? Oh, some girl in my English class,” Eren shrugged going back to eating.

“And you didn’t want to go out with her?” Armin’s words were very precise and Mikasa knew he was doing it for her sake.

“No, I already had plans with you two. I wouldn’t blow you off for some girl I barely know.”

It was a nice sentiment but what about next time he didn’t have plans already? Now Mikasa really did think she was gonna cry; she didn’t think she'd be able to bear seeing him date another girl, have to share him with someone she didn’t even know. Not when she had loved him for so long.

“Hey.” Eren’s concerned voice had her looking up to see his eyes watching her, forehead furrowed. “You okay? You look a little pale?”

Her gaze unconsciously flickered to Armin who was snacking on his grapes but watching them. “Yeah, I’m fine just tired.”

Eren didn’t look like he quite bought that but a smile was on his lips anyways. “Well, make sure you sleep well tonight cause tomorrow after school we’re enjoying the weekend.”

She didn’t have to force a smile; he always had a way of bringing it out on her lips.

“You mean sitting on the couch playing video games all weekend?”

Eren tossed some of his popcorn towards Armin causing him to laugh. “No, I have actual plans for us.”

Armin didn’t sound too convinced which only made Eren throw more popcorn, but Mikasa stared down into her yogurt. She had to do something; she couldn’t lose him. Tomorrow, things had to change. She would get him to notice her not just as the girl he grew up with.

* * *

 

Mikasa knew she couldn’t wear what she picked out of the house; Levi would never let her live it down if she left the house in a short skirt. Plus she was just getting into Eren’s car that would defeat the purpose. She had to bring her gym bag anyway for both gym class and staying the weekend at the Jaeger’s so it seemed the perfect opportunity to change after gym fifth period.

Yet standing in the girl’s room in front of the mirrors only made her feel worse not better. The outfit was something Sasha bought her months ago and something Mikasa buried in the back of her closet.

It was a short brown pleated skirt that came up farther on her thigh than she ever liked and a short sleeved white V-neck that clung to her body ad dipped down lower than she had ever worn before. Mikasa had picked out a simple red necklace to try and draw attention away from her cleavage but she felt more uncomfortable than anything. Sasha bought Mikasa heels too but she stuck with some plain flats instead. She was trying to get Eren’s attention not fall on her ass.

With a shaky breath she clipped a small red flower clip into her dark hair. The first bell rang and she knew she had to go even though she only wanted to throw up. Mikasa picked up her gym bag and walked out as some girls were walking in.

It seemed like everyone was out in the hallway as she tugged her gym bag closer to her. No one seemed to pay attention at first but then she started to see glances, some whistles, a few guys who called out to get her attention but Mikasa kept walking, though a bit faster, till she saw Armin and Eren leaning up near her locker.

Armin must've seen her first because he looked surprised but quickly grinned. “Look at you,” he said when she approached. “Don’t you look beautiful as always, Mikasa.”

She mouthed him a thank you; he must've known how uncomfortable she felt. She glanced up to Eren who hadn’t said anything though he was watching her with a mixture of confusion and surprise.

“Why, uh, why the dress up?” he asked reaching one hand to scratch the back of his head.

Trying not to let him see how her hands were shaking she took a step closer to him till she felt his body heat against her. “I thought you had plans so I dressed accordingly.” She tried to give him a smile but Eren wasn’t quite looking at her like she hoped he would.

“Ah, okay.”

That was it.

Mikasa’s heart sunk but as the second bell rang she knew she couldn’t let it get to her; she had to keep trying. She shoved her gym bag into her locker and hurried after Armin and Eren to their next class, one they had together. Mikasa took her seat next to Eren but he was looking anywhere but at her.

“What're we doing this weekend?” she asked, leaning over closer to his desk.

“Huh?” Eren asked glancing quickly at her but seemed more interested in the people filing in the room than her. She tried not to let her heart sink again.

“Oh.” The question seemed to don on him again as he shrugged. “You know the usual, maybe go grab some food.”

Mikasa sat back in her seat; he didn’t seem nearly as excited as he had yesterday. She couldn’t help but assume what she was trying to do was having the complete opposite effect.

“Okay, class,” Miss Hanji announced, shutting the door behind her. “Let’s take out your books and take a look at an exciting chapter!”

Every chapter was exciting to the biology teacher but Mikasa felt like she didn’t even have a fraction of that excitement as she flipped open her textbook on her desk.

“Hey…hey, Mikasa,” a voice to the side of her whispered while Miss Hanji rambled on but it wasn’t the voice she wanted to hear.

She turned to see Jean smiling at her from the desk to her other side. “Hey, what is it?” she murmured flipping a few more pages in her text book.

“I just wanted to say…that is…” He paused for a moment giving her a smile. “You look really…really nice today.”

“Thanks,” Mikasa said trying to give him a smile but it wasn’t working, this wasn’t working. She just wanted Eren to notice her not every other guy in the school.

“Not that you didn’t look beautiful all the time,” Jean said quickly, probably mistaking her disinterest for anger.

She opened her mouth to tell him it was okay but he just kept whispering to her.

“Because you do of course just today…you look really, really good today.”

Mikasa shifted in her seat. She obviously didn’t think this outfit change through very well.

“Hey,” snapped Eren’s voice, nearly making Mikasa jump out of her seat.

She glanced over at him as he was leaning over to her but eyes locked on Jean.

“Why don’t you shut the hell up and stop drooling all over the place. Leave her the hell alone.” His voice was low but Mikasa heard the bite in it. It surprised her so much all she could do was stare at him.

Jean’s awkward smile curled into a snarl as his eyes narrowed.

Thankfully Miss Hanji cleared her throat, getting all there of their attention. “Boys, please keep the fighting to off the school grounds and try to pay attention.”

They both murmured their apologies as they sat back in their chairs.

Mikasa looked down to her book, unable to look at either of them or pay attention to Miss Hanji. There was only one thing that refused to leave her mind. If Eren’ didn’t care how she dressed, why’d he get so mad at Jean over it? She tried not to think Eren was just using it as an excuse to fight with Jean.

* * *

 

The car ride home was quiet, kinda how Eren was for the rest of the day at school. Mikasa spent most the ride staring out the passenger window while Armin periodically talked to them from the backseat to break up the strange silence. She tried to get Eren’s attention again when they started the drive but he just stared at the road and barely acknowledged her.

She really didn’t know why she bothered with all this. Obviously, Eren would never see her as more than just a friend. Mikasa sighed as she opened the car door, stepping out onto Eren’s driveway. She should just go get changed out of these stupid clothes and try to enjoy the rest of her weekend, putting this miserable day out of her mind. She never felt so dumb before in her life.

“Where’re your parent’s cars?” Armin asked as Eren was unlocking the door to his house.

For once, he gave a small smile. “They’re gone for the weekend. Surprise.”

Armin laughed but a jolt went through Mikasa’s body. They’d be alone all weekend?

“My mom left us plenty of food, don’t worry,” Eren said, kicking off his shoes and dumping his backpack by the stairs. “Her only rules were not to burn the place down.”

“Then it’s good she left us food so you didn’t have to touch anything but the microwave,” Armin snorted, shouldering his gym bag before he gave Mikasa a small smile. “I’m gonna go shower then. I’ll be back down in a bit.”

Eren’s face seemed to clench back up a bit as Armin walked up the stairs, leaving Mikasa alone with Eren. She tried to bite back the hurt she felt that he obviously didn’t want to be around her but his parents were gone, and Armin intentionally left them alone. She had one more chance to get Eren to notice her the way she wanted him to. She couldn’t give up yet.

Mikasa slipped off her flats and dropped her bags by Eren’s before walking down the familiar hallway that led past the kitchen and to the living room. She smiled when she heard him following behind her; maybe he wanted to be around her after all.

She sat herself down on the couch while Eren followed suit, sitting on the other side and putting distance between them. Mikasa wasn’t gonna let it get to her though, not this time. She tossed her legs up onto the couch, her feet landing on Eren’s leg.

He didn’t seem to mind too much; he was used to that level of contact between them, it wasn’t uncommon. Well, that was until she started rubbing her toes down on his thigh. Eren let out a strangled sort of laugh as he reached down to pry her feet off of him. He looked like he was about to toss her legs off the couch and off of him but she got a smile on his lips. Before Mikasa could react, he ran his fingers down the bottom of her feet, causing her to cry out in laughter.

She squirmed on the couch as she laughed, trying to kick out of his grasp and reach for his hands but he was holding on too tightly. “Stop!” she gasped. “Eren!”

He froze but it gave her the perfect opportunity. Mikasa kicked her feet from his hands and in one swift moment swung her legs over his till she was straddling his lap. She went to grab his hands but Eren seemed to recover quickly enough.

His face was etched in what Mikasa could only describe as panic as he grabbed her waist and pushed her away until she was balancing on the edge of his knees, just barely balancing without falling off. He looked up to meet her eyes, a look of confusion and was seemed to be shock on his face and his grip loosening on her waist. “Mikasa.” His voice was soft but strained. “What're you doing?”

Her heart sank as a sudden wave of embarrassment slapped her. “I…” She dropped her eyes. What was she supposed to say? I’ve been in love with you for years but you never thought twice about me? Or I thought wearing this would get you to think of me like that girl who asked you out? I was afraid I’d lose you to someone who could never care about you like I do? “I just…” She looked up at him to see him still watching her. “Wanted you to notice me.”

“What're you talking about…” he trailed off, his eyes widening a bit as he glanced down at her. “Did you wear this…for me?”

She was so embarrassed she didn’t even know if she could look at him. “I thought if I dressed more like the…other girls you might…”

It was quiet for a moment between them. This was an absolute mess; Eren was probably never gonna look at her the same way now. Everything was ruined.

“Mikasa.” His voice was softer this time, a bit more gentle. “I always notice you.”

She shrugged. “Not like that girl from your English class.”

“Is that was this is about?” Eren sounded like he was about to laugh which earned him a slap on the shoulder.

“Obviously it didn’t work,” she mumbled, moving to stand up and get away from this situation, never to look him in the eyes again. Way to make a friendship of nearly ten years be awkward, Mikasa.

Before she could actually move though, Eren’s hands tightened on her waist, keeping her where she was. “Oh I noticed,” he said. “I noticed everyone eyeing every part of you they could. I saw those looks they were giving you and I had to stare all of them down to get them to stop. I swear to God I never almost got into as many fights as I did today.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “Why?”

“Why? Because none of those guys, or girls, deserved to look at you like that, to think they had a chance when they never looked at you any other day of the week,” Eren snorted, his lips scowling a bit. “The only person who will ever be good enough for you is the person who knows you are just a beautiful wearing a low cut shirt as you are wearing some sweats and my t-shirt lounging on my couch.”

Mikasa’s pulse was pounding in her ears as his eyes got wide, realizing how personalized his statement had gotten the more he spoke.

“I..uhh…” he said, searching for something to say but he ended up just trailing off, his cheeks tinted red.

She leaned forward a little bit, her courage building back up. “Does that mean you think I’m beautiful?”

“Of c-course,” he said. “Anyone with eyes could tell you that.”

She saw his eyes flicker down before looking back up to her. She inched closer to him on his lap. “No, I mean do _you_ think I’m beautiful wearing this?” She watched his eyes drop again before meeting hers again; even she saw him swallowing hard. “Or wearing your T-shirts and sweats on your couch?” She couldn’t hold back a smile; it was the sweetest thing she had ever heard him say.

“Mikasa.” He reached one hand up to hold her chin, his voice wavering just a bit. “You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”

Her heart leapt up into her throat. “Do you think you’re good enough for me?”

“Never,” he snorted, but his eyes were locked with hers.

“I do.” It was impulsive and probably not her best idea but she couldn’t help it. She leaned in until her lips were pressed against his; Mikasa nearly gasped when she felt him kiss her back. She broke away slightly to see his reaction, for good or bad.

He looked a little surprised but there was something else she couldn’t place, nor did she have the time to figure it out; Eren moved his hand to the back of her head and pulled her mouth back to his while his hand on her waist tugged her into his body.

Mikasa did gasp that time.

“You don’t know how long I wanted to do that,” Eren groaned in between quick kisses to her jaw, his hand gripping tighter onto her.

“Then why didn’t you?” she asked, running her fingers through his hair.

“God, don’t ask me that I have no idea.” He pressed his lips back to hers, tongue running over her bottom lip.

Mikasa only obliged as warmth filled the pit of her stomach at having him so close, having him to herself.

His hand dropped from her head to her thigh, fingers running along the skin where her skirt had rode up. It sent chills down her spine.

“Why’d you push me away then,” she teased, nipping along his jaw.

Eren let out some kinda strangled noise but he moved his hands to her hips, pressing her against him, rolling his hips into hers. Mikasa gasped against his skin when she felt his hard erection pressing against her inner thigh, so close to where she aching for him.

“I didn’t want you to know what you’ve been doing to me,” he breathed.

Mikasa looked back up to him, a smile pulling on her lips. She leaned her forehead against his. “So it did have some affect.”

“Oh, yeah, just a bit,” Eren murmured.

“You know, I do hate to interrupt,” Armin’s voice called from the next room. “Since I’ve been waiting for you two to get your heads out of your asses, but can it wait till I’m dead asleep in another room?”

Eren rolled his head back against the couch. “Of course, buddy.”

“C’mon,” Mikasa said, grabbing Eren’s hands to pull him up with her. “I’m gonna get changed and we can go get food or something.”

His forehead furrowed. “Why are you getting changed?”

She turned to face him, feeling her cheeks heat up at seeing his hair sticking out at all angles from her hands, the aftermath of what was done, what was said. “I like t-shirts and sweatpants.”

Eren let out a laugh, a smile on his lips. “Me too.”


	72. I Just Wanted to Say I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Just Wanted to Say I'm Sorry
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series; If they stayed in the military after the downfall of the titans  
> Words: 2113  
> Rating: K+ (One bout of Strong Language)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon requested Eren and Mikasa getting into a fight causing Eren to sleep on the couch, before he realized how wrong he was and went to make it up to her. As much as you all know I love my fluff, I do love portraying them fighting too (and fluff afterwards lol) because as much as those two care about each other they are both stubborn as all hell. I think it completely makes sense for them to bicker and butt heads. Title is from "Sorry" by Buckcherry.

Eren was dreading the question for months, though he knew it was coming. He saw it in Mikasa’s eyes every time she looked at him from the moment they realized their goal had been achieved. He knew how much she wanted to live outside the walls in peace and have the home that was taken from her twice in her life and she had no idea how much he wanted to give that to her, but he just couldn’t right now.

The military, while their original purpose was now null and void, had a lot to do in the new time of peace from the Titans and the people who controlled them. The Military Police went about how they always had, monitoring within the walls, where the Stationary Guard had taken to help transition people to a new life outside the walls and managed the comings and goings. The Scouting Legion transitioned into the branch of the military that would do the mapping and the pushing of the boundaries now that they were free. Eren, along with Mikasa and Armin, were promoted to Squad Leaders each with their own teams to venture out into the world that was opened up to them; though Levi did let them take their first mission as just the three of them like they always planned.

Eren knew he was enjoying the newer jobs open to him now that the Scouting Legion transitioned into its new purpose, and he knew Armin love it, this was what his old friend lived for. Mikasa was happy enough, Eren knew but he also knew it wasn’t what she wanted. He just wasn’t quite sure if he was ready to move on, the leave the one place he knew since he was twelve years old, wanting to be a member of the Scouting legion for much longer than that.

Which is why he shouldn’t have been surprised when Mikasa stood in front of him in the small military apartment they shared, biting back the question he knew was on her mind.

“Eren?” she asked, standing over the sink and scrubbing a few dishes.

He felt a weight of guilt in the pit of his stomach as he looked up from the table he was sitting at; he really didn’t even have to ask her what it was. “Yeah?” he asked.

“Have you thought…” She looked down at the sink before she looked back to him, obviously not wanting to have to ask the question. “Have you thought about leaving the military at all?”

He thought out his words very carefully. Eren loved her, and he wanted to give her everything she wanted, but there was still work to be done, he couldn’t just leave now. “I mean, yeah, eventually.”

Mikasa might have been good about masking her emotions with anyone else, but Eren could see right through it and he saw the way her face fell. The guilt only intensified. “Eventually?”

He shrugged trying at acting casual about his answer. “It’s just there’s a lot to be done to help this place, this new world and all these people moving into it before we can just get up and leave. We still have a duty to the Scouting Legion.” It was true, they were some of the oldest members there now, and they had to help the new recruits get their wings too. He tried to ignore the fact that Levi probably wouldn’t care if Eren asked him to let them leave; Levi told Eren he was free to go whenever he wanted, that they earned at least that.

Mikasa wiped her hands on a towel as she looked over to him. “It’s not like it used to be, Eren. We get new recruits almost every day and plenty of senior soldiers to take over. It’s not like it would be leaving them in shambles, there’re plenty of capable hands.”

He knew she was right but his chest clenched; he couldn’t just let it go. “As much as I’m glad the death toll isn’t nearly as high as it once was so people can join and stay for long periods of time, it’s only been a few years. This new world is in its infancy, we just can’t leave them. It’s not the right time.”

She tossed the hand towel back on the counter and Eren knew he had struck a nerve. The whole atmosphere changed around them as Mikasa’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Not the right time? So please, enlighten me, when would be the right time? When won’t we be busy with training the new recruits, going away on separate missions for weeks on end, longer when we need to travel farther? When do you expect all of this to just end for you to think it’s the right time?”

Eren clenched his jaw as she crossed her arms against his chest. Fighting with Mikasa wasn’t anything new to him, they spent half their lives bickering, but it was a long time since the last time he remembered them having a fight. It still made him feel like it always made him feel, like Mikasa knew best and anything thing Eren had to say wasn’t worth a damn. He couldn’t have even stopped the anger rising in him if he tried.

“This is what we’ve always wanted. The Titans are gone; we can finally be at peace and explore the world like we always wanted to. Am I wrong in not seeing the bad here? Why don’t _you_ enlighten me and tell me what Mikasa thinks is best. Oh wait, I don’t have to ask, you’ll just tell me whatever the hell you want anyway.”

Her fingers clenched into her hands. “No, Eren, this isn’t what we’ve always wanted. This is what _you_ wanted, and I gave you what you wanted for ten years. I joined the military because it was what you wanted to do, and I supported you and believed in you for all those years because it was what you wanted to do. I waited and I kept myself content in the military for years during the peaceful time so that you could help the Legion and help explore the world because I knew that’s what you wanted.” She paused and Eren saw her frustration reached her eyes. “When’s it my turn to have what I’ve wanted for all these years?”

He felt the aching guilt in his stomach but his anger was swirling too much in his head for him to pay it attention. “Did you for once think that maybe, just maybe the good of humanity is a little bit more important than living out in the middle of nowhere somewhere?” Eren knew he crossed the line when he saw her eyes start to glisten. He instantly regretted saying his words, but he couldn’t take them back.

It was silent for a moment, tension hanging in the air around them, before she spoke again. “I’ve given up my life and more for the good of humanity. What has it ever done for me?” Her voice was strained, laced with hurt. Before Eren could open his mouth again, Mikasa walked away, not giving him a second look as she moved to their bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

It was a statement to say where he could sleep tonight.

Eren let out a frustrated groan, hitting his fist against the table. Whatever. If that’s how she wanted to act so be it. Like he cared. He roughly turned off the lantern on the table, before moving to turn of the one on the coffee table near the couch, nearly knocking it over when he shoved it. He tossed his shirt off and forcefully grabbed the blanket hanging over the couch before throwing himself down against it, back towards his bedroom and pulled the blanket over him.

Why didn’t she understand? This is what they worked for all these years. They finally it all and she wanted to leave! To just leave the world they helped create, to leave the lives they had in store for them. Yeah, sure the missions would get longer, but Eren was sure Levi would let them go together, it wasn’t so unusual. It’s not like she would leave him either, they had been together for so long now of course she’d stay and they could go about their lives like they always had.

The guilt that filled him turned his stomach.

What the hell was he thinking? What kinda life was that? How could he continue to go about going on missions and living their lives here with Mikasa miserable by his side? How could he ever be happy when the person he loved most in the world longed for something else?

He tossed off the blanket with a groan. He was such a fucking moron. Mikasa stayed by his side for all these years, supporting him and giving him everything he needed to fulfill his goals and giving up her own. Now that they lived in a world that allowed it he could finally give her what she wanted most in the world, and yet instead he just fought her about it. If anyone, if _anyone_ Mikasa deserved the world.

Eren sat up on the couch and swung his feet back to the floor. He really didn’t want to face her now, but he'd never sleep if he didn’t. He’d never sleep if she wasn’t by his side; it was only a few minutes and he missed her presence with an ache in his chest. He pushed himself to stand and made the slow walk to the bedroom he shared with Mikasa.

She must’ve turned the lamp off already because the only light he saw was the moonlight drifting in through the open window, cascading light onto the bed. His chest clenched when he saw her curled up on his side of the bed. Mikasa wasn’t facing him and didn’t move to face him at all but she had to have known he was there.

Eren walked into the room until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing her and not sure what to say. She didn’t say a word or even look over at him, though he could see her eyes were open. He tried to say something but nothing would come out. What do you say when you’ve hurt someone you loved so bad? There really was only one thing.

He crawled onto the bed, laying down next to her so that his chest was pressed up against her back, his legs bumping against hers under the blanket. He tentatively placed his arm over her waist as he pressed his lips to her bare shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said.  “I’m sorry.” He pressed another kiss onto her back. “Mikasa, I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot.”

“I know,” came her soft voice.

It made Eren crack a small smile. “I never should said those things, of course I didn’t mean them. What you want is the most important thing to me, nothing else should matter. I’m sorry I got so frustrated.”

She sighed and turned over to face him, her eyes meeting his. “No, I’m sorry. I know this is all you’ve ever wanted to do. It was selfish of me to ask you to leave when you worked so hard to get here.”

Eren reached up a hand to her cheek; he never knew he could love someone like he loved her. He was so lucky, every day, that she was still here with him after all these years. “You’ve never been selfish. You’ve always put me and Armin before yourself. It’s about time I did the same for you; you deserve that a hundred times over.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself into him and resting her head against his chest.

“I’ll wait, for when the time is right,” Mikasa said, her fingers drawing designs lightly on his back.

He knew she would. Mikasa would wait for him long past she ever needed to but he didn’t want that. He did what he came here to do; it was Mikasa’s turn now. “You’ve done enough waiting. I’ll talk to Levi tomorrow.”

Eren felt her trail her lips against his chest, placing soft kisses against him; it nearly made his heartbreak again. “I’m sorry,” he said again into her hair. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said softly, gently.

For the first time in what seemed like weeks, the guilt finally eased from the pit of his stomach. He was gonna do the right thing for her.


	73. Let's Go For a Little Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's Go For a Little Ride
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa & Hanji/Levi  
> Setting: Modern AU; Fast and the Furious Crossover  
> Words: 3592  
> Rating: T (Minor language and sexual implications)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MidnightBlaze7 asked for a Fast and Furious crossover and damn I love those movies so I was more than happy to oblige :3 I mashed up some of the roles but some of them are the same based of the characters from the movies and I picked one of my favorite scenes to base it off of. I loved writing this one and tried to drop as much of the world as I could in the one fic. I hope you enjoy my guilty pleasures as much as I do xD Title is a quote from the first movie :3

Jean was really unsure about this but his boss told him he didn’t have a choice. After all, wasn’t the whole point of his assignment was to get close to these people?

“No need to be nervous, buddy,” Connie laughed from his spot in the passenger seat. “I know last night they all might've seemed kinda intimidating and well, terrifying to anyone who doesn’t know them, but they’re harmless.”

Jean couldn’t quite tell his newfound friend the reason he was nervous wasn’t because he was afraid of these people but because he was an undercover cop walking right into the lion’s den. “I dunno, Levi didn’t quite look like he wanted to invite me to any barbecues anytime soon.”

“Yeah, but he always looks that way,” Connie shrugged. “But you’d know if he didn’t like you. Trust me on that one. You seemed to make an impression on him or he would've never asked me to come find you.”

Yeah, some kinda impression it had been. Jean was assigned to take the car he was issued, which wasmodded and designed with his help of course, to go participate in the underground racing world and of course, make an impression. Most of the people paid him semi-interest, mostly interested in the new blood as opposed to what he could do. The only person who really eyed him was Levi who despite his stature he was obviously the one person everyone respected; with the aura this guy gave out, Jean couldn’t blame them. Levi was leaning up against one of his cars, at least Jean assumed, with a few people around him. One of them was Connie, who was tinkering under the hood of a nearby car. There was also a girl who he learned to be Sasha, talking up the car she was standing by to anyone who would listen. Surrounding Levi were three others one of which made Jean’s heart skip and one made him grit his teeth in annoyance.

Jean had a hard time keeping his eyes off Mikasa from the moment he saw her sitting on the hood of the car and the red scarf she wore around her neck but the cocky smile on Eren’s face as he leaned up next to her irritated Jean before he even knew the guy’s name let alone before the bastard beat Jean. Armin, who was also with them and the only one who introduced himself, seemed to be fine and Jean couldn’t understand for the life of him how Eren was supposedly his best friend.

“Take a left up here,” Connie said, pointing to an intersection coming up.

Connie was the one who was sent to talk to Jean and introduce him to Levi. From there, Jean found himself in a race against Eren who Jean desperately wanted to beat even just to wipe that smug look off Eren’s face; even more so when Jean saw how close Mikasa stood to Eren before the race started. It didn’t quite turn out that way, though it was close and that must've been enough to make some kinda impression.

“Right up here,” Connie said but Jean would have seen the line of cars parked on the side of the road and known anyways.

He parked behind the farthest car causing Connie to jump out before Jean even turned the car off.

“Hey, guys!” Connie hollered, walking down the sidewalk to a path that led to a yard next to a house. “I brought him!”

Jean locked the car before following Connie up the path, through a gate and into the neatest yard Jean ever saw; there didn’t even look like there was a blade of grass out of place.

“Hey, Jean!” Sasha waved from her spot at the picnic table. “Glad you could make it.”

“Yeah, thanks for the invite,” Jean smiled back though he knew it must've been Levi who had the final say in the matter, but Jean didn’t see him yet. The only other person at the table was Armin who was passing out plates around the table.

“Hey,” Armin smiled giving a small wave himself. “Everyone else is bringing out the food. Some of the meat still has to get cooked, but it shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“No worries,” Jean said. “Need any help?”

Connie already plopped himself down next to Sasha, whispering something that made the girl laugh.

Armin shook his head. “Sit down and relax, you’re a guest.”

Easier said than done. Jean was about to offer again but the back door to the house swung open.

“Okay, guys! I got hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken.” A brunette woman who Jean hadn’t seen the night before was carrying a large tray towards the grill. “Sound good?”

Connie and Sasha cheered as the woman placed the tray down turning to face them. She must've caught sight of Jean because her face brightened up.

“Hello!” she said clapping her hands together. “You must be-”

“Hanji!The tray!” Armin called pointing behind the woman.

“Whoops!” Hanji reached back to push the tilting tray back on the side of the grill. “Levi would've murdered me if that had fallen. Thanks, Armin.” She turned back to Jean, walking the short distance to meet him. “Jean, right?” She held her hand out to him.

“Yeah,” Jean said, shaking her hand and her very tight grip of a handshake.

“I’m Hanji. My husband told me you were coming today so I made sure we had extra since Connie and Sasha could eat us out of house and home here.”

Husband? Is what Jean wanted to ask but he figured that might be a little rude. He assumed she meant Levi but he didn’t quite look like the type of person to have a wife at home. “Thank you so much for having me,” Jean said instead. “It’s nice to meet you. I don’t think I saw you last night.”

“Nah,” Hanji said, making her way back to the grill and popping it open. “I like to work under the car, not in it. I trust Levi to take care of the kids, both human and mechanical.”

Jean knew that had to be just a sentiment since she didn’t look old enough to have kids his age.

“I like him,” Hanji said, gesturing back towards Jean. “It’s nice to have someone polite around instead of you oafs.”

The three at the table made noises of disagreement.

“Okay, okay I’m sorry.” Hanji started popping meat onto the sizzling grill. “Armin, you’re excluded.”

Connie and Sasha started to protest again but they were grinning; it must've been typical.

“What're you brats going on about?” Levi’s voice was very distinct and despite the fact they were nowhere near any races, his tone was exactly the same as it was last night.

“Hanji called us oafs,” Sahsa said, though she couldn’t get through it with a straight face. “Well, except for Armin.”

“Well, it’s the truth. Get off your asses and help bring this food out,” Levi said, placing a bowl in the center of the table.

“Let them be, we’ve got it.” The voice alone sent a jolt through Jean’s body.

He looked over to the door to see Mikasa holding another bowl walking the short distance to the table. She looked just as pretty as she did last night under the dim lights, that red scarf still around her neck despite the summer heat.

“Hey,” she smiled when her eyes met his. “Jean right?Glad you made it here okay.”

Jean nearly felt his heart pounding in his ears. “Yeah, Connie was a good navigator.”

“Yeah, so stop ragging on me, you all.” Connie gave them a smug grin.

“Kirstein,” Levi said, making Jean freeze a bit as he looked up to the head of the table. “Glad you could come.” He didn’t quite sound too glad but Jean was figuring out maybe that’s how he was.

“Where’s Eren?” Hanji asked. “He was supposed to be bringing me out the sauce I made last night.”

“Eren!” Armin called towards the house. “Hanji’sgonna kill you if you’re eating the sauce instead of bringing it to her again.”

“That was one time!” the boy in question said as he pushed the screen door open, a covered bowl in his hands. “I was waiting for it to heat up a little on the stove.” He placed it down next to the meat while Hanji swatted at his arm playfully.

Jean felt his eyebrow twitch in annoyance but maybe last night was just how he held himself at races; he had to give the kid the benefit of the doubt.

“Eren Jaeger, you’ve lived with me since you were twelve years old.” Hanji pointed her spatula at him. “Don’t think I don’t know when your fingers have been in something.”

“My fingers haven’t been in anything.” He raised his hands in defense but Connie was already nearly doubled over in laughter.

“Are you sure about that?” Sasha snorted. “I’m sure M-”

“I didn’t stick my fingers in the food,” Eren said loudly, rolling his eyes.

“You did set yourself up for that one,” Armin laughed.

“Yeah, yeah.” Eren shoved Armin lightly. It seemed like that was also the first time Eren noticed Jean was standing there. “Hey,” There was that grin again. “Come back for a rematch?”

Mikasa turned to head back to the house and Jean noticed he wasn’t quite the only one who watched her go; he couldn’t have held back if he wanted to. “Yeah, so I can beat you without cheap tricks this time.”

“Themsfightin’ words,” Sasha said though she was still grinning. “You gonna take that, Eren?”

The brunette’s eyes narrowed, his body language changing completely to something much more aggressive. “And just what are you implying?”

“Hey,” Levi’s voice snapped, making Eren look up. To Jean’s relief, Levi was just looking at Eren. “Knock it off and stop picking fights with everyone you don’t know. Braus, don’t encourage him.”

“Sorry, Levi,” Sasha said giving him a meek smile.

Levi looked back to Eren before gesturing to the house. “Go help my sister in the kitchen.”

Eren gave Jean one last dirty look before Eren turned and walked over to the door, disappearing into the house.

“Sorry,” Armin said, sitting down on the bench of the table as he looked up at Jean. “He’s a bit of a hot head if you couldn’t tell.”

“A bit?” Levi scoffed, walking over to where Hanji was still standing by the grill. “He’s been throwing tantrums since the day I met him.”

A strange silence settled over them, only the sound of the grill sounding in Jean’s ears; obviously they all knew something he didn’t.

“Levi, that was different and you know it. Leave him alone, he’s a good kid,” Hanji said, her tone just a bit softer.

Jean shrugged and gave them a smile, trying to ease the tension he had found himself in. “It’s whatever really.” What he really wanted to know was the comment about Levi's sister. Was there someone else here? Or was he referring to Mikasa? Jean saw the similarities between them but any info he could pick up the better. He felt a pang of guilt but he tried not to think about it. “So, do you all live here?”

“God no,” Levi snorted. “They'd all be dead if they did.”

“Levi loves us, really he does,” Sasha deadpanned getting a laugh from Connie. “And we put up with all his excessive cleaning habits so he _really_ should love us.”

“It’s just us.” Hanji said gesturing to herself and Levi. “And Mikasa, Armin, and Eren. They’ve lived here since they were twelve but the others are here for everything but sleeping so it generally feels like more.”

Jean wanted to ask why, but that seemed a little too personal for someone who was practically a stranger to ask. If the silence earlier indicated anything, it wasn’t something anyone liked talking about. Besides, he didn’t need all the info yet; the point was to grow close enough to get the information he needed and then…do what needed to be done. He shook his head, this was his job. Sure they were being nice to him but they were also doing illegal things, it was his job to put an end to that.

“Why haven’t those two brought anything else out,” Hanji said looking towards the door. “Levi, can you watch these for me. I’m gonna go see what’s holding them up and keep bringing stuff out.”

He nodded taking the spatula from her as she headed towards the door.

“I’ll help,” Jean volunteered as he headed to follow her; he was curious to see inside and more of Mikasa.

“Oh, Jean, you don’t have to do that,” Hanji said but Jean was already holding the screen door open for her.

“I hate feeling like I’m doing nothing when I was invited over,” he smiled at her. 

“Dammit,” Connie sighed. “He’s too smooth for us.”

Jean stepped inside the house, following Hanji down a hallway that lead right to a large room he assumed was the kitchen. So far he didn’t really see anything of use except that every spot of the house was pristine but when he stepped into the kitchen he really wished he couldn’t see anything anymore.

He did get to see Mikasa but not exactly in any way he imagined. She was sitting up on the island in the center of the kitchen with Eren in front of her. Her hands were tangled in his hair, her legs locked around his waist while Eren’s hands were tight on her hips, keeping her pressed up against him. They were so engrossed in their feverish make out session they clearly didn’t notice there were people in the room. Jean wanted to hurl.

Hanji rolled her eyes at him before walking over to the island. She picked up a large bowl off the counter and slammed it down.

The sudden noise had Eren and Mikasa nearly jumping out of their skins.

“H-Hanji,” Eren panted, his eyes wide and the tops of his ears red as he quickly took a few steps back from Mikasa. “Hi?”

Mikasa had one hand pressed to her chest as she tried to catch her breath, her own face red.

“Get distracted?” Hanji teased, picking up the bowl again.

“Please don’t tell Levi.” Mikasa reached a shaky hand to brush her bands from her face.

Hanji passed the bowl to Jean and went to pick up another one. “If you think Levi doesn’t suspect you’re sleeping together then I think you both are in some serious denial.”

Eren let out some kinda strangled noise and Jean _really_ felt like he wanted to hurl. Well, that was just his luck; though, he had to remind himself with another wave of guilt, ratting out her family probably wouldn’t have boded well for a relationship to begin with.

Hanji gave Jean a smile as she looked back to him. “Sorry you got caught up in some family drama. Everyone knows about them but they just keep pretending no one knows so Levi won’t skin them or whatever they’ve got in their heads.”

Eren ran a hand through his already messy hair. “Skinning would probably be the least of my concerns.”

“Knock it off,” Hanji said, gesturing for him to grab a few of the remaining covered plates. “No one knows her like you do. You’re probably the only one Levi wouldn’t kill, now move, I have meat grilling and Levi cooks them too long.”

Jean didn’t miss the smile that Mikasa gave Eren when he went to lift her off the island and back to the ground. The look on Eren’s face was something Jean would've never pictured on the quick tempered boy; in fact, Jean quickly found himself looking away, like it wasn’t something he was supposed to see. There was some deeper connection, much more intimate that Jean knew he wouldn’t even be able to understand if he wanted to; which he didn’t.

“Sweetheart,” Hanji said as Mikasa reached for the last bowl. “You might want to.” Hanji gestured pulling up her scarf.

Jean really wished he missed the hicky Mikasa quickly covered under her scarf. He was the first one back out by choice, greatly appreciating the fresh air and being out of that situation.

“What the hell took so long?” Connie asked as Jean placed the bowl on the table.

“Don’t ask,” Jean said trying to avoid the topic entirely but Connie seemed to catch on pretty well, glancing around him to the two that were just making it out the door. He was in a fit of laughter again.

“Welcome to the club, my friend,” Connie said, scooting over closer to Sasha so Jean could sit down on their side of the bench.

“Leave them alone,” Armin said, though there was a smile on his face. “It was a long time coming.”

It only made Jean more curious about the situations that surrounded all these people and just how they got here from where they were before but he knew he couldn’t ask. There were too many layers, too many questions that only kept piling up and Jean didn’t feel he had any right to ask any of them; not with the guilt that was swirling in his stomach.

Mikasa placed her bowl on the table and sat down next to Armin who nudged her in the shoulder.

“Just how long was it supposed to take to get a few plates from inside,” Levi said, sitting back down at the head of the table once Hanji had taken the grill again.

Eren paused as he went to sit down next to Mikasa. “We were just…there was a lot…”

“There was a lot of what? Time to fuck around? Don’t look at me like that, Jaeger. We live in the same house, the walls aren’t that thick.”

Mikasa buried her hands behind her face while Eren just stared but the rest of the table went up in cheers. She leaned her head against Eren’s shoulder while Armin reached over to pat her back. Connie and Sasha were saying something but Jean couldn’t quite hear what it was. All he could see was the overwhelming amount of love that was surrounding them. They all came from some place different but they were a family, a family that they had invited Jean into; the pit of his stomach dropped.

“You aren’t…mad?” Eren asked, still looking like he was in shock. He didn’t look anything like the arrogant boy Jean had met last night; Eren looked much younger, much more boyish.

“Why the hell would I?” Levi arched an eyebrow at him. “I’ve been watching you with her since you were kids; you’re the reason she’s even here today. You’re the only person I’d let near her, granted considering you never let people near her in the first place my job was very easy.”

“Told you so,” Hanji said with a grin as she brought over a plate of cooked meat and set it down on the very full table before sitting down next to Levi.

“Okay, enough before I lose my appetite. Everyone eat before Connie and Sasha eat it all and no, that wasn’t a challenge.”

Plates and bowls started to get passed around at lightning speed, everyone piling up their food and talking as they did. Armin was passing something to Mikasa who was still leaning against Eren; Hanji was digging into the buns before giving the basket to Levi who carefully took one that was still untouched by other hands. Eren already bit into his hamburger though one of his hands was resting on Mikasa’s leg.

“Jean, want some potato salad? Hanji makes the best you will love it.” Sasha said handing the bowl to him over Connie’s head; he was distracted cutting up a piece of chicken.

“Yeah, thanks.” Jean put some of the salad on his plate before handing it off to Armin who had has hands open for it. He took a bite and Sasha was right, it was amazing.

For a moment he forgot why he was there. He was just some guy eating with new friends but it was wrong, it was wrong in all the worst ways. Not even spending a whole day with them and Jean already saw there were so many broken pieces of a past that didn’t seem very pleasant and Jean cursed his job for making him pick up on any detail he could in every situation. There was the fact that three twelve year olds had no place to go but here at such a young age, or the scars that were poking up from under Sasha’s t-shirt he tried to ignore when he looked at her, or Levi’s strict cleaning policies, or that Levi implied there was something that nearly took Mikasa from all of them forging the deep bond she had with Eren, and that was just what he had picked up in less than an hour. Yet here they were, sitting and laughing like they had always been one happy family; maybe not always, but they sure seemed it now. The whole atmosphere was nothing like Jean ever had with his own family. It both warmed him and made him hate himself.

Jean’s job was to break all of that up. He swallowed hard on some of his food. What the hell was he supposed to do?

 

 


	74. Blanket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> March 28th - Blanket
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: In between scenes in Chapter 67; Yes, I read the chapter and wrote this right away.  
> Words: 1299  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Eremika fluff week! :D

Eren wanted to feel relief, he really did. After all, they made it out alive; everyone was safe and still breathing. Hanji got the most hurt but even she was trying to get back on her feet though it only made Levi snap at her to get back in bed. Yet, Eren couldn't get his mind to rest easy, not with everything that had gone on, everything they still had to do.

He sat up in the bed, his back against the wall as he stared out into the dark room. Eren knew he should be sleeping, they had their assault on Rod Reiss in the morning when it was calculated he would reach the wall; though Eren knew there was a guard to watch him just in case he made it there faster and they needed to act. Until then Levi sent everyone to rest after the long ordeal they all just came from.

Eren sighed looking up to the ceiling. "Dad," he murmured to himself. "What were you thinking?" No answer came, not that Eren thought there would be. So much happened in the past few days, so much was still to happen. What was he supposed to do? He knew he needed to do what was for the good of humanity. He was quick to sacrifice himself if it would ensure the safety of the world, of his friends, his comrades bumt is that really what would be best? No one seemed to think so with the amount of times he was told no on the issue.

His dad's voice echoed in his ears; he had said Eren needed to control his power to protect Mikasa and Armin, not give it up but control it. It was just controlling it seemed near impossible these days. Eren groaned, reaching a hand up to his head; what he really wanted to was sleep and maybe he would feel better, but sleep just refused to come no matter how hard he tried.

There was a soft knock on the door and Eren was instantly alert. "Did something happen?" he asked, though he kept his voice low just in case.

The door opened and closed quietly again. His eyes had been adjusted to the dark long enough to easily recognize the figure who was hesitantly walking to his bed, a blanket in her arms.

"Nothing happened, at least not yet." Mikasa's voice was soft, a little bit cautious. She stopped before she reached his bed. "It's cold out tonight. I thought you might want an extra one."

The building was pretty drafty, but he didn't know if he would say it was cold enough for another blanket; Eren figured it wasn't exactly the reason she came to his room. "Yeah," he answered, moving over slightly on the bed. "Sit down."

Mikasa looked a little surprised but she laid the blanket out on the bed, before taking a seat next to him, pulling her knees up to her chest.

It seemed like it had been ages since he saw her, since he was close to her. Her calming presence was already putting him a bit more at ease just by being here; he hadn't realized how much he missed her until she was with him again. "How're you feeling?" he asked, not really knowing what kinda question that was but he had to say something.

"I'm fine," she shrugged. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

She arched an eyebrow at him.

"Mikasa." Her name rolled off his tongue just the way it always had. "I am. What're you doing up, you should be asleep. It's gonna be a long day."

"I could say the same for you."

Eren felt a smile pulling at his lips; at least he knew she hadn't changed any. "Can't sleep then?"

She nodded her head.

Silence fell over them for a moment since Eren didn't think he needed to say he couldn't either, that was pretty obvious. He sighed as he leaned his head back against the wall again; it was a long few weeks for all of them. While Eren had to deal with his own problems while being tied up then chained up in that cave, he had no idea what Armin and Mikasa and the others went through to come get him, not knowing if he was even alive. Eren knew the feeling of wondering if they were even still alive, and he didn't wish that on anyone; especially Mikasa, she worried enough as is.

He threw back the blankets slid down the bed, propping himself up on his elbow. "Alright, c'mon, no good if both of us are dead on our feet tomorrow."

She watched him for a moment, like she was hesitating but she slipped her legs under the blanket and laid down. Her familiar scent was already so much closer to him, and he couldn't help but feel calm; she had always the effect on him, especially when he needed it.

Without thinking it through too much, Eren reached out to wrap a hand around her back, pulling her in to close the distance between them. It had been a long time since they had stayed together over night like they did when they were kids but it had also been a long time since he even just saw her, known she was safe.

Mikasa relaxed into him, her hands curling slightly into his shirt as she laid her head against his chest.

He sighed and closed his eyes, putting his chin over her head. "I missed you." His voice was barely higher than a whisper.

"I missed you too."

"Was Armin okay?" Mikasa was quiet for a moment, which made Eren think the answer was no.

"It was hard," she said finally. "We were always worried about you, and…" She hesitated again. "We had to do some things that weren't easy or we would've all died, Armin included."

Eren nodded, swallowing hard. It was his fault. "I'm sorry you all went through that for me."

"Don't say that." Her voice was much sterner this time. "We, Armin included, would have done anything to get you back. That will never change."

He really didn't know what he did to deserve the people he had in his life but he needed to remember not to take them for granted; he'd be dead without them countless times over…especially Mikasa. "Thank you," he murmured.

"For what?" she asked, her voice soft again.

Eren could probably go on for days over all the things he was thankful for when it came to Mikasa, but his eyes were starting feel heavy; he didn't think he had the energy to. "For always being there for me."

"You don't have to thank me for that." Her voice was quiet again. "I always will be."

"I know."

He didn't need to doubt it, not after everything they went through. He was thrown through so much in his life and had so much ripped away from him, but if there was one thing he could count on it was Mikasa being there to pick him back up and hold him on his feet. He used to hate it; hate that she was the one to save him because he wanted to be the one to save her, to protect her from the world. Yet, after nearly being ripped away from her again, from Armin, from the others, he was just thankful she was still there by his side.

Her breathing was a bit steadier, signaling that she must've fallen asleep. The blanket was thick and heavy over them cutting out any cold draft that might've blew in, but as a much needed wave of relaxation settled over them he realized he hadn't ever really needed the blanket, just Mikasa.


	75. Weak Spot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> March 29th – Weak Spot
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Somewhere in canon after Chapter 50; Not super specific  
> Words: 1132  
> Rating: K+ (Light sexual implications)

Mikasa remembered when the nights were the worst part of her day, when nightmare wouldn't let her even closer her eyes. They'd keep her awake, reliving her past and making her do nothing but fear for the future. Nights quickly turned into her favorite time though, when she had a warm body next to her, comforting arms around her, and hair that tickled her face.

"Eren," Mikasa laughed, playfully pushing his face away from hers. He was pressing kisses against her jaw but he knew his hair always tickled her nose when he did that.

He looked up at her with those eyes she loved so much from his spot on the bed laying next to her, his body pressed up against hers and his clothed legs tangled up with her bare ones. "You shouldn't stay up so late," he murmured with a small grin as he leaned down to kiss the skin right below her neck. "Levi will kill you if you fall asleep during training again."

Mikasa ran her fingers up the tanned skin of his back. "That was you."

He hummed against her neck, one of his hands brushing by her waist that was covered by his shirt she was wearing.

Yeah, Mikasa had learned to love the nights after long days of training and planning, after her body ached and her head felt heavy; she always had Eren to relax with and just have some simple alone time with. Granted, no one save for Armin knew they spent their nights together but in a way it made it even more special for Mikasa.

Eren brushed his nose against her cheek making Mikasa chuckle. She reached up to run her hands through his brown hair, fingers dropping down to the back of his neck.

She had been with Eren long enough to know what he liked so she was more than a little surprised when she felt him tense up. The way his eyes snapped open told her it wasn't exactly from pleasure. Mikasa quickly moved her hands to his shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Eren let out a breath before he opened his eyes again. "Nothing."

That she didn't buy one bit and he seemed to understand that pretty quickly. A wry smile cracked against his lips as he propped himself over her so that his eyes could meet hers. He reached up to pick up her hand off his shoulder and put it back on the back of his neck, the nape of his neck.

Oh.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, embarrassed she didn't realize it right away but his had was still holding hers over his neck. "I forgot."

"I guess I should be happy you can forget what I can turn into," he said but his tone was light like it was just in good humor.

"That's because you'll always be Eren to me."

He seemed to decide that deserved a lingering kiss to her lips and she wasn't gonna complain. She sighed when he pulled away, his hand dropping from his neck as he met her eyes again.

"It's strange," he said. "That even when I'm here in my regular body that one spot still feels…vulnerable."

Mikasa couldn't exactly understand; she didn't go through what Eren did, there wasn't that one spot that could kill her with one swipe of a blade.

"I know it won't necessarily kill me when I'm me but it still feels sensitive, weak."

"No part of you is weak," Mikasa said, gently moving her fingers against the nape of his neck, trying to comfort him.

A smile pulled at his lips again. "Not when you have my back."

"I always have your back."

"I know, that's why you touching me there isn't unnerving."

She must've had a surprised look on her face because he laughed.

"You can't tell me you don't know that after all these years that I trust you more than just about anyone."

Mikasa knew he trusted her of course, but there was something about hearing it from his lips that made her stomach flutter.

"It's a double edged sword though." His voice dropped a little, smile falling from his lips. "Mikasa, if there comes a time when I can't control my form." He hesitated a moment. "I want you to be the one to do it."

She almost pulled her hand away from him to object; how could she ever do that? How could she ever knowingly kill him?

He must've noticed her uncertainty because a reached a hand up to her face. "I know Levi said he would be the one to do it but I want it to be you." His thumb brushed over the long scar on her cheek. "Don't let me hurt anyone else."

She saw the hurt in his eyes, the pleading. Mikasa knew he still bore so much guilt over things he did, the things he couldn't prevent. If this soothed his mind some, she wanted to be able to set him at ease.

"Okay," Mikasa nodded.

Eren rested his head down close to hers again shutting his eyes. "Thank you."

Mikasa watched him; he always looked younger at night, like the weight of the world wasn't on his shoulders. She ran her finger lightly against the back of his neck earning a shiver from Eren but this time she knew it was a good one. "At least I know where your weak spot is now," she teased, trying to lighten the air around them.

Eren cracked an eye open at her. "Like I don't know yours?"

"You don't."

He was smiling again. "Wanna bet?"

Mikasa didn't even have a chance to object; he had already pushed her back against the bed, hovering over her again.

"I know exactly where it is," he said, his tone sending chills down her spine.

"Oh?"

Eren lowered his head to her until she could feel his warm breath over her ear. He moved his lips down until they reached the skin between her ear and her neck. Even just a swift kiss there had her squirming under his touch, let alone when he started to suck and nip at her skin. No, that caused sudden waves of sensations bringing a soft moan from her lips.

He pulled back a bit from her, looking as smug as ever.

"Shut up," she murmured before she could hear an "I told you so" but it lost its effect when she was still smiling.

Eren laid down next to her again, pulling her close so her back was pressed against his chest. He propped his chin up on her shoulder while comfort warmed Mikasa's body and mind, the type only Eren could bring. Even in the hell they lived in, the nights were a little less dark these days.


	76. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> March 30th - Birthday
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series  
> Words: 2543  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually an anon request as well! I had a request for a fic where Eren was gone for a while coming home to Mikasa and Nicolas; since I had written two from Mikasa's perspective, I thought it was about time I did it from Eren's too. It ended up being a double prompt because I was having a hard time with the Birthday prompt and then this came to me. Happy Birthday, Eren babu 3

Eren really didn't mind going back to help the Scouting Legion when he could. He understood they were understaffed for senior officers to lead missions and it was all he could do to help after everything the Scouting Legion had done for him. Besides, he also got to take teams out to explore and map new areas of the world; every time it was a new adventure to take and he loved it. What he didn't miss was when the excitement wore off only leaving him only homesick.

Yeah, the terrain and dictating orders at their base took his mind off of it sometimes but it was always a bit difficult when Mikasa used to be here to help him when they did missions together and the nights, those were the worst. All he heard was the natural sounds of the areas, the soft snores or rustling of his subordinates as he laid on his makeshift bed when normally he'd have his wife with him to keep him company, and more often than not these days his son squeezing in between them during late hours of the night.

The thought always made him smile but it didn't make the dull ache in his chest ever lighten up until their time was up, base was packed up, and it was time to lead the caravan back to the main base of the Scouting Legion. Eventually as their world grew, there were gonna be multiple bases so it wasn't such a long ride back as their scouting brought them farther and farther away from where the walls still stood, but that was still a dream in the Commander's eye; right now Eren still had to make the long trip back to the walls and then another trip back to his home outside the walls.

He would've loved to skip the whole going back to base but he needed to make sure everyone and all the info got back which meant writing reports and having meetings before he could even think about going home to sleep in his own bed with his family. He was beginning to think he'd never actually leave the military. The walls were in sight at least but it would probably be another few days before he could go home; that thought alone made him groan.

"Is something wrong, Captain?"

Eren glanced over to the source of the voice. A younger girl who was in charge of following the map back to base; granted not nearly as young as he was when he joined the military. "The thought of the impending paperwork and meetings isn't quite how I'd like to spend my next few days. I'd much rather be going home."

"I heard you live outside the walls," she said.

That's right; she was probably old enough to have been born inside the walls and in fear. "I do, with my family who would be a much better sight for sore eyes than Levi."

There were a few snickers from some of his team behind him.

"Aren't you scared of him?" Another voice piped up.

"When I was your age, oh yeah. Now? Well, he is my wife's only remaining family and he could still kick me on my ass so, yeah, he's still terrifying."

That one brought quite a bit more laughter.

"How'd you meet your wife?" A female voice behind him somewhere asked.

Eren got it quite often; there weren't that many senior officers who were married and all the newer members were relatively young, not extremely young but too young to be married. Besides they were almost at the gates of Wall Maria. "That's a story for another day. Next time." Which is generally what he said when he was asked.

He nodded to one of the gate guards when they got closer.

"Good afternoon, Captain," the man nodded back, gesturing for the other guards to step aside to let them through the open gates. "Been gone a little while. Get a good haul?"

"As always," Eren said, leading his horse back into what once was Shinganshina. It always gave him a sense of home, despite the fact it looked nothing like the district he once knew; it was a merchant town now, the last town in the walls before people went to move outside. Still, it always smelt like home. He continued up the familiar path to the base with his team following behind him.

He still remembered how it felt to make this walk, filled with nothing more but shame and failure and the glares, the murmurs of disappointment by the people. These days it was always a different reaction. People would rush out to see them, to ask how far they got, what did they see, what kind of plants, animals, all curious and excited questions. It always made Eren grin; the world was a much better place now.

They eventually made it to the main gates of the base, the guards opening it so the caravan could enter the main yard of the base. Eren knew the drill, he had done this countless times; get everyone to the stables in the back so the horses could be taken care of by the stable hands, escort his team inside and into the information intake area where they would drop off all their notes and anything they gathered so it could be researched more. From there Eren's team would give him a salute before taking off to have their after mission time off but Eren had to go find the head of the Research and Mapping Division to give his own report.

Lucky, Eren was pretty fond of the blond.

He didn't bother looking in Armin's office; he was never there. Instead Eren slipped into some of the deeper research rooms looking to see if he could find his old friend. It wasn't Eren's division by a long shot but most everyone there knew who he was and didn't bother to stop him from coming and going where ever he wanted to go, including classified rooms such as these.

There he was. Eren could see Armin leaning over a table, pouring over maps and talking to someone Eren didn't recognize but Eren would know Armin's long hair pulled back in a ponytail and blue eyes behind his glasses anywhere.

"Please tell me you've discovered a place that has hot springs. I've been dying for it since you told me about them."

Armin looked up with that amused smile on his face. "I'm afraid not, but I'll keep my eye out." He said something to the girl who had a magnifying glass to a certain map causing her to nod before Armin walked around the table to meet Eren in a hug. "How was the trip?"

Eren snorted as he followed Armin out door. "That's one way of asking me to file a report with you."

"I'm not asking you for a meeting," Armin laughed. "I'm asking as your friend. You personally, how was your trip."

"It was fine, nothing outta the normal. Found some new stuff which I know my team turned in and I'll go over with you too as soon as you want, cause I just want to go home."

Armin clasped him on the shoulder as they walked out into the main hall. "A little home sick?"

"Yeah, I mean I don't mind working with you guys but it's not easy when I don't think I'll ever get used to being away from Mikasa for such long periods at a time."

"I know." Armin lowered his voice in an attempt to sound more serious. "But Eren, the military greatly appreciates your sacrifices."

"They better damn well appreciate them." Eren gave him a shove but he couldn't bite back a smile; being with Armin was at least a step in the right direction. He realized Armin was leading him through the back entrance towards the onsite housing. "I thought we were going to your office for the report."

Armin shrugged. "It's just you we don't have to be super professional about it. I figured the last thing you wanted to do was sit in my office."

Well, that was true. Besides it was still warm out, Eren didn't mind taking the garden covered walkway to the housing area.

"If it helps I got a letter from Mikasa the other day."

Eren felt himself perk up significantly. "Yeah? How're they?"

"They're fine, relax." Armin chuckled. "She just wanted to know how the mission was going. She said things were pretty much the same as always, that she's happy because the flowers are finally blooming in the garden, and that she misses you and hopes you'll be home soon."

Eren couldn't help but feel much lighter, like it was one step closer to actually being with her. "I'd be able to go home soon if we could skip all these meetings and paperwork."

"Nice try, Eren. I love Mikasa and would love nothing more to send you back to her early but a jobs a job."

It had been worth a try. "Did she say how Nicolas was?"

Armin nodded. "Oh yeah, he's fine; her words were that he's just about as much trouble as you now that he can walk and run without anyone's help. Luckily Mikasa is an expert in taking care of you so I'm pretty sure it's just another day for her."

It was easy to picture, that was enough to make him smile but he felt his stomach sink some. He hadn't been there when his son started walking without needing anyone to catch him. Eren very well knew he was gonna miss things being away and still chose to help the military but that didn't mean it didn't take a toll on him.

Armin nudged Eren with his elbow, probably noticing the dip in his mood. "She said he asks about you all the time. Always wants to know when you're coming home, so Mikasa says she tells Nicolas stories about you and it's his favorite part of the day." Armin held the door to the building Eren stayed in when he had to be here for a few days.

It did make him feel better, but it didn't make the ache in his chest go away.

"I'll try to make this as painless as possible," Armin said, leading Eren up a few flights of stairs to his on base apartment. "Once we're done you'll just have to have a group meeting tomorrow then I'll handle the rest, okay?"

Eren nodded; well, that was an improvement. "Thanks, buddy. I really appreciate it."

Armin waved him off as he pulled Eren's key from his pocket. "Don't worry about it. You know I'd do anything for you guys." Armin pushed open the door and gestured for Eren to head in.

The apartment looked more or less the same as the last time he had stayed here as he dropped his bag he had been lugging around onto the floor. There was one thing different though, it smelt delicious in here. "Hey Armin, did you have food brought here? Cause I may have to kis-" He didn't get to finish his sentence though, not when there was the small but familiar cry of "Da!"

It took Armin's grin from his spot in the doorway and the sound of little feet running towards him for Eren's mind to wrap around what was actually going on; his arms where there to grab Nicolas and hoist him up, the moment he reached Eren. Short arms wrapped around Eren's neck as Nicolas shoved his face against Eren's.

"Hey," Eren said reaching a hand up to the back of Nicolas' head; Eren's other arm holding his son secure against him. He wasn't sure if he was gonna laugh or cry. "I missed you so much. What are you doing here?"

Nicolas probably didn't quite understand what Eren was asking, not that he assumed anything otherwise, but Nicolas still pulled back to look Eren in the eyes. "Hap Bifday, Da!" he exclaimed, eyes bright as his legs kicked.

Eren must have looked confused because Armin started to laugh.

"Please don't tell me you forgot your own birthday?" The voice was amused, Eren could tell even without seeing her.

"Is it March already?" he asked, peering around a wall to see Mikasa in the kitchen, and also seeing the source of all the delicious smell.

"It's nearly April." She had her arms crossed as she looked at him but she was smiling.

He really had no idea. He wasn't in charge of keeping dates while they were on a mission; he normally had a more general idea of time going by but his birthday? "Huh, well, this is almost the best birthday present."

"Almost?"

Eren shifted Nicolas so he was sitting on Eren's side, before he opened another arm towards Mikasa. She had her arms wrapped around him almost instantaneously, her face pressed into his chest. Eren sighed as he put his arm around her, resting his head against hers. Finally, that ache in his chest was filled with nothing but warmth. He pressed a kiss against her head but she quickly tilted her head up, kissing his lips instead. Yeah, this was much better than being stuck in meetings.

He probably could've just sat there and kissed Mikasa for God knows how long with how much he missed her being with him when he was away but Nicolas started to get impatient, tugging on Eren's shirt and whining. "Okay, okay," Eren chuckled, bouncing the arm that was holding him slightly as he pulled away from Mikasa, but not without one more kiss as a promise of much more after small eyes were asleep. "Are you hungry, Nic?"

That got a cheer.

"Yeah, me too. Let's see what Mama cooked up for us."

"Cake!"

Eren arched an eyebrow at Mikasa. "Did you make a cake?"

"Go sit down," she said, pushing him towards the table, but she was smiling. Oh yeah, that meant there was cake.

"I'll see you later, okay, Eren?" Armin waved from the door, moving to shut it behind him.

"Where do you think you're going?" Eren said, turning back to where his old friend was standing. "Get in here and eat with us."

Armin shook his head. "Nah, you spend time with your family. I'll catch up with you guys later."

"Armin, stop, you're family. Sit down." Mikasa had gone back into the kitchen but Eren knew that tone, she wasn't taking no for an answer.

"She's got a knife in her hands, buddy, I'd sit down if I were you."

Armin laughed but he shut the door stepping back into the apartment. "Alright, I value my life enough not to stay and eat Mikasa's food. What a hard life I lead."

Eren clasped Armin on the shoulder while Nicolas was babbling on about something, still pulling at Eren's shirt. Mikasa had already brought out a plate of food for them, and Eren couldn't even remember that he was gone for so long, nearly missing his own damn birthday because this was by far the only way he'd want to spend his birthday; with all his family.


	77. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> March 31st - Family
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Chapter 67; I'm just so happy they are together again somewhere different okay  
> Words: 2010  
> Rating: K

The town they were trying to protect from Rod Reiss' impending trampling or worse was rather small. It was something Eren noticed as they walked through the streets, following Erwin to a place where they'd rest for a few hours before they needed to protect the wall. Eren was so exhausted he was pretty sure he could just fall asleep on any part of the street but he kept putting one foot in front of the other trying to make it to a bed before he passed out.

He probably should've been looking where he was walking though, because a bump into his legs nearly knocked him over. Eren caught his footing and glanced down, feeling Armin and Mikasa stop behind him as well.

"Oww," a small child who was on his back laying ground whined. "That hurt."

It didn't take Eren too long to connect what hit his legs to the little boy in front of him. "Hey, I'm sorry about that." Eren reached down to hold his hand out to the boy to help him back to his feet.

The kid just blinked up at Eren, like he was confused about what was going on.

Eren was suddenly very aware he had no idea how to talk to little kids, and this one looked no older than five years old. Did he need to help him up? Say something else? Did the kid even hear him?

The boy jumped up to his feet without Eren's help but he kept his wide eyes on Eren. "You're in the military aren't you?"

Eren dropped his hand but he stayed hunched over closer to the boy's level. "Ah yeah, I am…we are."

"Wow," the boy spoke. "That's so cool." Even in the just the moonlight, Eren could see the boy's messy dark hair, wide green eyes and toothy grin; he had to be a resident of the town they were trying to protect.

"Yeah, it is pretty cool," Eren answered, an unfamiliar type of smile pulling at his lips. He felt a warm presence crouch down next to him on the road, Mikasa's black hair blowing lightly in the night breeze.

"What're you doing out so late?" she asked, her expressions lighter than Eren had seen it in a long while.

The boy got a look on his face that Eren instantly understood, mainly because he had given it to countless people when he was a kid. "You snuck out to go find something and were rushing back so your mom didn't come check on you and find you missing, huh?"

The kid looked truly amazed now. "How'd you know!"

"I used to do it all the time too." Eren had never really paid too much attention to kids in towns they went through, since that really was the only time they saw families, but the looks of excitement and adoration in this boy's face warmed Eren's heart in a way he didn't think anything ever had before.

"Except he had friends to follow after him and make sure nothing bad happened," Mikasa said, in a soft tone, a gentle one that Eren hadn't really heard from her before. "So why don't you head back home so your mom doesn't worry about you, okay?"

The boy nodded and gave them a hearty wave. "Thanks for not telling my mom," he said. "You guys're cool."

Eren reached forward the ruffle the kid's hair just like Eren remembered Hannes doing to him when was that age. "Go straight on home, okay?"

The boy nodded again and took off between them, but not without one last big grin and wave.

Eren straightened up, watching the kid run down a dark alleyway. It wasn't until Armin gave a small laugh that Eren realized they had probably fallen far behind. He started to hurry after Erwin's blond head that was off in the distance down the road.

"He reminded me of you," Armin said as he walked behind Eren and Mikasa. "Down to that mischievous look you always gave when you were up to something."

Eren snorted; well, it was the truth. He glanced over to Mikasa who was holding her scarf up over her lips. She was the one who surprised him in that situation. Sure, he knew she could be gentle because he saw it first hand when it came to him but her tone, her smile, the way it just seemed so natural for her to crouch down and talk to that child, that's what had surprised him. She was the top solider in their class and a person not to be trifled with, but the way she looked at that boy it made Eren wonder…is that what she really wanted?

"There isn't enough room for all of us in one place," Erwin said, clearly not noticing three of his soldiers lagged behind for a bit. "We'll need to split up. Half in there," he gestured towards the building on their left. "And half on the right. We'll alert you when we need to take action."

Eren followed the rest of his squad into the building on the right, ready to pass out on the closest bed available. There were a few beds to each room so he followed Armin, Jean and Connie into a room that had three beds in it before turning to wave to Mikasa, Historia, and Sasha still walking down the hall. He barely had the energy to say goodnight to the others in the room before throwing himself on the bed, his head hitting the pillow. Eren expected sleep to come the moment he closed his eyes but it didn't, all he could see was that little boy out in the streets.

Eren was glad the kid was clearly pretty happy with his life; he hadn't said anything when Eren mentioned having a mother so he assumed the boy still lived with his family which was better than a lot of kids in this world. That wasn't what was bothering him though; it was still the way Mikasa had reacted to the child. She looked…she looked just…happy.

She was normally content, yeah, and he saw her pretty relieved since they got outta the cave but when was the last time he saw her genuinely happy like that? It felt like ages. He was pretty sure he had the answer to his question and honestly it made sense; Mikasa had always wanted a family of her own. He was sure she wanted to have children of her own. How could he not be when she reacted towards that little boy like she did?

Honestly, he could see it. He could easily see Mikasa dressed in her casual clothes sitting on the porch of a small house in the country, holding a little baby lovingly in her arms as Mikasa spoke softly to her; Eren wasn't quite sure why but he knew it was a girl. There was also a toddler sitting by her feet, playing with some wooden toys. The look on Mikasa's face was stunning; she was smiling, like really smiling and was so happy, just free to be sitting there in her home with her children. Even Eren picturing the scene in his head had to smile to see her so happy.

The boy who was sitting at her feet looked up towards Mikasa, saying something that Eren couldn't really make out but the kid was adorable. He had darker hair and a wide grin, but he didn't really look too much like Mikasa; not that he had to, she had to have a kid with someone after all.

A jab went through his chest that made his eyes snap open, staring up at the ceiling. Yeah, she would've had to have a family with someone; he wasn't quite sure why that thought made his chest ache so much. Eren only ever wanted the best for her, and if she wanted a home and a family hen he wanted that for her too.

Is that what he wanted too?

The thought surprised him honestly. It wasn't anything he had given much thought to. All his life he wanted to join the Scouting Legion and he never thought about what would come after, what would come after finishing off the Titans.

If they all survived this mess…did he want to have a family too?

Eren hesitantly closed his eyes again, the scene with Mikasa sitting on the porch with her children popping up in his mind again. Everything looked the same, including the little boy on the porch but Eren took a closer look this time. The hair was the same, the big grin was the same but the eyes stood out more and the sight filled his chest with an unusual warm feeling; they were Eren's eyes.

The boy jumped up to his feet, running down the steps of the porch and down the front path but Mikasa didn't look too concerned as she watched after him. Eren followed the boy who ran straight into the arms of a man Eren knew in his head to be the father. The man stood up, taking the laughing boy with him so that Eren could get a better look; there was a jolt through his body mixed with that warmth in his chest again when he recognized the man to be himself. He looked older, yeah, his hair longer and his body taller, his shoulders broader but it was himself.

He made his way up the porch steps till he was sitting on the bench next to Mikasa, adjusting the boy so he was sitting on Eren's lap. She turned to look at him and say something but before she could Eren had leaned in to kiss her, one hand reaching up to her cheek to hold her face close to his.

Eren almost felt his cheeks heating up as he watched the scene in his head, but his body felt so light he couldn't bring himself to make the scene stop. It wasn't like it wasn't something he hadn't seen in dreams before, just ones he never told anyone before.

Mikasa said something to him when he pulled away but Eren couldn't quite tell what it was, just that she still had that gentle tone. The boy had leaned his head against Eren as his hands tugged on Eren's shirt for attention and the baby made some gurgling noises but ones Eren could recognize as happy noises. He put one hand on his son's back and the other reached out to his daughter's little hand that was grabbing for him, her feet kicking under the bindings Mikasa had her wrapped up in.

The warmth had spread from Eren's chest to his body, making him feel almost like he was floating as the scene played out in his head. Yeah, that, he liked that; to have little ones who depended on him, who loved him and who he loved just like his parents had loved him. This was different though; there were no Titans to take Eren away from his children in this world, nothing that would rip him away from Mikasa, from their family. He could take care of her like he always wanted to, and he could give his kids all the love both his parents and Mikasa's parents never got to continue doing.

As his mind started to drift off to sleep finally, images of that small house surrounded by gardens still in his head, Eren realized he did want a family. Not just any family though, he wanted it with the one girl who had always stayed by his side, the one he wanted to make happy so that her soft smile would come back, that she'd talk in that sweet gentle tone again. He'd make sure he'd live, and he'd make sure she did too so that he could love her how she deserves, so he could give her the home and family she always longed for. The one Eren longed for now too.


	78. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April 1st – First Date
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern Day AU; Where they grew up together  
> Words: 2582  
> Rating: K

It wasn't like Eren had  _never_ been on a first date before. He was seventeen years old for God's sake; he went on plenty of first dates. Granted they never amounted to much more than a handful of second dates, and a couple of third dates but still, first dates he knew, first dates he was good at. He never stood in front of his mom's mirror in yet another outfit staring blankly at himself feeling like he looked even more ridiculous than he did in the one before and he certainly never hit his head against said mirror in complete frustration in himself while his hands refused to stop shaking from his nerves.

"Why," he groaned against the mirror. This was the stupidest thing ever. He shouldn't be nervous. It was just a first date; he did it dozens of times. This was nothing new; except that it was new, this was different…this was very different because this time, he wanted nothing more than to completely impress the girl he was going out with as opposed to going just because he had a date.

"Any particular reason you're fogging up the mirror?"

Eren glanced over to the door to see his mom leaning up against her doorway, watching him with a very amused smile on her lips. "No," he grunted, but he also didn't make any move to step away from the mirror his head was still against.

His mom didn't buy it, not that he thought she would. She saw through him any time anyway and she was also aware of just what was transpiring tonight. He tried to not tell her, that look on her face being the main reason, but she got it out of him regardless. She stepped into the room, taking a seat on the neatly made bed. "Alright, come here before you give yourself a red mark on your forehead." She patted the seat next to her.

Eren really wasn't in the mood to hear anything from anyone, and he didn't have much time left. He glanced over to the digital clock on the dresser but that was a huge mistake. Considering his nerves now moved from shaking hands to feeling like he wanted to vomit he supposed maybe listening to his mom wouldn't be so bad. He trudged over to his parent's bed and sat down with a huff.

"What's going on? I don't think I've ever seen you change your clothes so much in one night in the entirety of your life."

Eren shrugged, feeling his cheeks heat up that she noticed. "I dunno."

"You dunno? Well, I think you do know." She paused for a moment looking over to him though Eren kept his eyes firmly on the floor. "It's okay to be nervous, Eren, there's no shame in that."

"Yeah, no shame maybe, but it's ridiculous," he mumbled. Ever since he asked her out yesterday he couldn't eat, he couldn't sit still, he couldn't even put on clothes. It was so stupid, but he couldn't stop himself.

"No, it's not even ridiculous." It sounded like she was trying not to laugh but it wasn't working very well.

Eren looked up to give her a glare but it did the complete opposite of what he intended as his mother decided now was the perfect time to burst into laughter. "I'm leaving," Eren said as he stood up to go back to his own room but she pulled him back down.

"Stop being dramatic," she said, traces of laughter still in her voice. "I'm sorry, it's just I don't think I've ever seen you come so undone over a date before. It's because of who it's with isn't it?"

Eren shrugged but he very well knew that was the truth. All the other girls he dated were because they had showed some kinda interest and he said why not, but this was very different. This wasn't just some girl at school or some girl he met somewhere. This wasn't just a whim he had; he planned it out and nearly backed down about ten times before he actually asked her.

"Eren." His mom's voice was softer this time. "It's just Mikasa, you've known her for years. There's no reason to be so nervous. You already know she likes you. She wouldn't have put up with you for nearly ten years if she didn't. She's already seen you at your worst…multiple times."

Yeah, like those thoughts were helping right now. "That's just it, Ma. There is no  _just_ Mikasa." He wiped the palms of his hands against his jeans. "She's not just some girl I don't care about. She's been one of my best friends since we were kids and she already knows everything about me."

"Shouldn't that be reassuring? She already knows you and she already likes you. If you don't believe that yet, trust me, she does. I've watched her pine after you until you opened up your eyes for years." It sounded like she was going to laugh again and Eren couldn't avoid the way his cheeks started to heat up.

"It isn't though," he grunted. "That makes it worse. She already knows everything about me, what're we supposed to talk about?"

"Eren, you act like you've never spent a single day with her alone before. There's been plenty of times it's been just you and her without Armin around. This is exactly the same, just maybe a bit more formal with different implications."

Well, that was true; it certainly wasn't the first time by a long shot it had just been the two of them. Was it the formality of it all that was making him nervous? After all, a first date was the first step to actually pursuing a romantic relationship. He knew that of course, he asked her out because he wanted that. He wanted this; he wanted to be with her more than he had ever wanted to be with another person before. It had terrified him when he first started to realize she was the one he had always wanted.

"I just…" Eren sighed, looking up to his mom. "Don't wanna screw it up."

There was a smile on his mom's face when he looked at her. "I've seen the way she looks at you, there're very few things you could do to screw it up. Just be yourself, that's who she fell for after all."

"Don't ask me why," he mumbled.

His mom did laugh this time. "Oh, I know why." She reached up to give him an affectionate ruffle of his hair though tried to swat her away. She stood up to her feet and headed back over to the doorway, but not before one last look back to Eren. "And try not to bring up that time you got gum in your hair and her mother had to shave your head."

"Ma," Eren groaned but she was already gone. With a sigh he walked back to his room and shut the door behind him. He did feel a little bit better as he pulled off the shirt he was wearing to grab the very first one he had put on that night but there was still an anxious buzz in his stomach. At least he stopped feeling like he was gonna throw up.

His mom was right, he knew Mikasa for years and years, they went through a lot together, and this was no different. Besides it was a good thing, it was what he wanted. It still didn't stop his hand from shaking when he grabbed his jacket off the bed.

It was probably a little bit early but he'd rather be early than late; Armin would probably never forgive him if Eren was late. He heard his mom and dad talking in the kitchen and Eren had every intention of not seeing them on his way out. "See you guys!" he called quickly when he reached the front door.

"Don't you dare, Eren Jaeger," his mother called, stopping him right as he was opening the door.

"C'mon," he groaned turning around to see both his mom and dad standing in the hallway. "Please don't make this more embarrassing."

"There's nothing embarrassing about it, son," His dad said, his arms across his chest and a grin on his face. "It's very natural. She's always been a lovely girl."

"Be sure to bring her home on time too. I'm sure her father would appreciate it," his mom said but the amused smile on her face wasn't making him feel better.

"I'm leaving now," Eren said shutting the door despite a few protests from his parents. He took a deep breath of the cool spring air to try and get rid of the buzzing in his head now. Okay, his parents were dealt with, only one set left before it was just him and Mikasa for the rest of the night. The thought of her parents though had dread dripping back into his stomach. He could close the door on his parents but not hers.

The lights were on in the house right across as Eren slowly made the familiar walk from his yard to Mikasa's yard. Her parents had always liked Eren well enough, as much as they could like their daughter's hyper, loud mouthed best friend. He wasn't quite sure how they felt about him asking her out though; he hadn't talked to Mikasa since he had asked. He swallowed hard as he raised his hand to knock on the brown door.

_Please be Mrs. A, please be Mrs. A, please be Mrs. A,_ Eren chanted in his head, shifting his weight from his spot on the door step when he heard steps walking towards the door. It opened, spilling light onto Eren and it was pretty clear the shorter Asian woman was not the one to answer the door but the police chief instead.

"Hello, Mr. A," Eren greeted trying not to choke as he reached one hand up to scratch behind his head. It was a possibility Mikasa didn't tell her parents he asked her out on an actual date which would make this situation a lot less awkward. "Is Mikasa home?"

"Hey, Eren, come in she's just upstairs." Mr. A stepped aside to let Eren in before closing the door behind him.

"Hello, Mrs. A," Eren waved seeing Mikasa's mom sitting on the couch with a book in her lap. "How are you?"

"Very well, thank you," she smiled back at him. The look on her face was familiar but Eren couldn't quite place it, he was too busy focused on the way his blood was pounding in his ears.

Mr. A leaned up against the railing his eyes watching Eren. "Mikasa," he called up the stairs. "Your date is here."

Eren couldn't hold in the groan that fell from his lips. "Not you guys too," he said as both of her parents started to laugh. That's why Mrs. A's look was familiar, it was the same one his mom had on.

"Knock it off, you two promised." Mikasa's familiar voice sent a jolt down Eren's spine.

He looked up to the stairs to see Mikasa quickly making her way down. She really didn't look much different than she did any other day save for she had traded out her jeans and t-shirt for a casual dress and leggings and she looked as gorgeous as she always did. His heart started to race again but this time for a different reason.

If her parents started hassling him he didn't hear them not when her eyes met his. She rolled her eyes as she stepped down on the last step, her small smile on her lips. "They were too nosey I had to tell them," she said but her voice wasn't quite as firm as usual.

"Yeah, I know the feeling," he murmured still in a bit of a daze as she stopped in front of him. This was real; this was actually happening. He felt a smile pulling at his lips as she watched him. Yeah, his hands were still sweating but it seemed a little better now that she was standing in front of him.

Mr. A clearing his throat nearly had Eren jump out of his skin though. "Well, go on," Mr. A said though there was knowing grin on his lips. "Just be back by midnight please."

Mikasa turned to look at her dad, her eyebrow arched slightly. "That's later than usual."

"Yeah, that's cause I know where this one lives."

"Dad." Mikasa didn't quite sound as amused as her father looked.

"I've known him since he thought pulling your hair was a good way to show that he liked you, you know I trust him."

"I quickly learned that it wasn't," Eren said, feeling a bit more relaxed now that he knew Mr. A wasn't going to pull out his shot gun any time soon. "I'm pretty sure I still have the scars from her to prove it."

Mikasa elbowed him in the side but there was a smile on her lips again. "Okay, we're leaving now. Goodbye," she said grabbing a hold of Eren's arm to pull him out the door.

"Have fun!" Mrs. A called after them. It looked like Mr. A was about to say something too but the door was already closed.

"Sorry," Mikasa breathed when the door was closed. "You should have seen how they teased when I told them."

"I'm pretty sure I can imagine pretty well," Eren said gesturing to his own house across the street. He even thought he saw his mom peering out of one of the windows.

Mikasa laughed and it was impossible not to smile. "Yeah."

There was a silence that settled over them but it was awkward like Eren was expecting, no, it was actually quite normal. Maybe this wasn't so different after all; yeah, it was putting their relationship in a different category but she was still Mikasa.

"I'm sorry we have to cross the street to get back to my car," Eren said, leading the way across her yard.

"It's okay," she said. "I just might have to deduct first date points."

Eren arched an eyebrow at her. "You're deducting points already? I haven't even gotten a chance yet."

Mikasa was smiling when he looked over to her. "Maybe you should've driven across the street so your date didn't have to walk."

"Oh, so that's how it's gonna be huh. Okay." Eren close d the small distance between them, putting one hand around her back and the other under knees and pulled her up off the ground.

"What're you doing?" she laughed, swatting at his shoulder as he started to cross the street.

"Making up for having you walk to my car and get my first date points back."

"I think you skipped a few steps."

Eren glanced down at her about to ask what she meant but seeing her rested in his arms made him realize she was referring to the way he was carrying her bridal style across the road. "We've already been together for a long time. I think we can skip a few steps here and there."

Mikasa laughed again but this time she rested her head against his should.

He suddenly didn't care if his parents or her parents were still watching them; it was just him and Mikasa. He didn't feel all that nervous anymore.


	79. Scarf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April 2nd - Scarf
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series in my happy world  
> Words: 2382  
> Rating: K  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to me getting to post one of my favorites of the week on my birthday! You guys actually get two at once cause I'll have no computer for the weekend at the con ^^

Eren had nearly forgotten what a quiet household had felt like after the near decade of having children in the house but here he was laying on the couch without even a noise around him. He knew it wouldn't last for too long. Mikasa had only taken Carla into town; once they came home the noise that followed the four year old around was sure to come back. Eren loved his daughter so it wasn't like he was complaining but the quiet was nice every now and then too. Nicolas was upstairs somewhere but he was old enough to entertain himself and not get into too much trouble. Granted, Eren was pretty sure he got into plenty of trouble by himself when he was seven years old.

As if on cue, Eren heard a small sound, nothing too big just like something was closing but very deliberately like  _someone_  didn't want anyone to know that he was getting into something he shouldn't be. Eren might've not been in the military for many years, but some things never left. He could tell it was coming from his room and not Nicolas' or even Carla's, and judging by the creak, it was the old trunk that normally had quite a few things piled over it to keep it shut. Judging by the way Eren didn't hear any footsteps, Nicolas was probably in the process of covering it back up.

There wasn't anything too bad in there; mainly just old letters and photos from Eren and Mikasa's military and childhood days along with their old uniforms and a few medals from after the war was won. Regardless, they kept it shut to keep out their old lives from their kids even though Nicolas was at least mildly aware of what went on in his parent's past.

The footsteps started to move.

"What're you doing that you shouldn't be," Eren called up though he didn't move from his spot. By the way Nicolas suddenly halted Eren assumed the boy realized he got caught. He really should've learned by now that between his mother and Eren there wasn't too much that went unseen.

"Nothing?" came the unsure voice of his son.

"Why don't you come down here and tell me what kinda nothing you got yourself into." Curiosity was a natural thing especially since Nicolas was getting to the age where he knew his parents were keeping things hidden away from him. Eren wasn't mad at Nicolas for it, but Eren knew he'd be the one to get killed if Nicolas read something he wasn't supposed to about the parts of their lives they had buried long ago.

Nicolas' slowly walked down the stairs, hands behind his back and his eyes wide, probably trying to see if Eren was upset.

"I'm not mad," Eren said, a smile pulling at his lips as he pushed himself up to sit on the couch. "But that trunk stays closed for a reason so I suggest telling me what you saw because your mom might not be as forgiving."

Nicolas' shoulders slumped as he walked into the room careful the keep from turning his back to Eren as He took a seat across from his father. "I didn't know what most of it was," he answered honestly, having learned long ago lying didn't quite work with his parents. "Aside from the military stuff." He shrugged. "I looked at the pictures and saw some letters. That was about it."

"Then what's behind your back if that was it?"

Nicolas probably couldn't lie if he wanted to not when he got that guilty look in his eyes. "I just found something and I didn't see why it was in there."

Eren held out his hand and gestured for Nicolas to give it up; everything was in there for a reason.

Nicolas slumped over in his chair but he pulled his hand out from behind his back and held out something that nearly surprised Eren. Draped over Nicolas' hand was the dark red fabric of Mikasa's scarf that Eren hadn't seen for years.

Eren reached out to take it from Nicolas, letting the worn but still soft fabric fall over his hands. His heart clenched over the sudden memories that rushed to his mind. The night he met Mikasa, the years she wore it as a kid and into the military, the way he could always find her in a crowd because of it, that fight in the fields…

"Dad?"

Eren's head snapped up to see Nicolas watching him. "Yeah, sorry. What is it?"

"I just asked why it was there. Seemed kinda outta pace."

It wasn't, but Eren wasn't quite sure how to tell Nicolas that. It was what entwined Eren and Mikasa for all those years, the beginning of their bond to the day she didn't need that protection anymore. "Its…" Eren paused struggling to find a word to describe it. "Your mother's. Well, it was mine once, but I gave it to her when we were a little older than you."

Nicolas seemed instantly interested and Eren couldn't blame him; neither Eren or Mikasa talked much about themselves, let alone when they were young. "Really?"

"Yeah." Eren felt a smile tug at his lips. "On the night we met." He regretted it the moment it was out of his mouth because Nicolas had latched on.

"How did you meet?" he asked eagerly.

Oh boy.

Eren always knew the question would come up eventually and really this wasn't the first time Nicolas had asked, but before they had diffused the situation just by saying they had known each other since childhood. This time though Eren had given him a specific event and tangible article to connect to the story, and Eren had to work it in somehow without telling his young son the exact details.

"Well," Eren started, leaning back against the couch as he tried to think of a way to water down the story the best he could. "I was nine when your grandfather took me to see the Ackerman's. They were a family who lived deep in the woods and my dad was going to check up on the little girl who lived there."

"Was that mom?"

"Yeah, that was her but believe it or not; I fought my dad the entire way there. I didn't want to meet her."

"Dad," Nicolas laughed. "Why not?"

"I was plenty satisfied with your Uncle Armin being my only friend but your grandfather thought otherwise so he quite literally dragged me up to the woods to meet your mom."

"Did you like her when you met her at least? Did you like her parents? What were they like?"

Eren's heart sunk; he should've known those questions would come up. While he talked about his parents every now and then, Mikasa rarely ever spoke of her parents. It was natural to wonder what they were like. "Well, Nic, I never actually got to meet them."

The disappointment in Nicolas' eyes was obvious but it didn't seem to stop his curiosity. "Why not?"

Eren hesitated; this was where it got tricky. He still saw the scene that laid in front of his eyes when his father opened the door, he felt the sudden fear and the horror as he looked over the dark room; it was a moment that was hard to forget. "Well, due to uncontrollable circumstances, your grandparents on your mom's side were already gone." Eren just hoped Nicolas didn't ask where they had gone.

"Where was mom then?"

Eren breathed a small sigh of relief. "She wasn't there either but it was clear something wasn't right. My dad went to get the police and I went to go find her, against his wishes but I had to go find her."

"And you did, right?"

"Of course I did, who do you think I am?"

Nicolas laughed, his eyes still bright. "What happened next?"

"Well," Eren started again, his fingers playing with the fabric of the scarf. "I found her still in her night gown terrified and got her to safety as quickly as I could."

Nicolas didn't look convinced. "That simply?"

No, not at all. They were both almost killed as opposed to the other way around, but Eren thought there could be a few more years before he told his son the whole story. "Simple as that."

"Where did the scarf come from then?"

Eren felt a smile again; this was at least a bit happier. "I was wearing it the whole time. It was cold that day so your grandma made sure I was wearing it when I left the house. After I got your mom to safety, my dad gave her his jacket since she was wearing practically nothing. She kept saying she was cold and in my mind I figured she meant physically cold so I took off my scarf and…" he leaned forward and tossed the scarf around Nicolas' neck. "Gave it to her then I took her hand and brought her home with me."

Nicolas ran his fingers over the material as he looked down at it. "And you were always together after that."

"We were, and she always wore that scarf ever since that day."

A grin pulled at Nicolas' lips. "She must've  _really_ liked you."

"She married me didn't she?" Eren laughed. It was hard to convey exactly what that scarf meant to Mikasa and to himself to a seven year old who lived in a free world and who never had to wonder if he was gonna live or die never seeing the person he loved again the one piece of fabric being the only comfort, the only warmth when they were gone; Nicolas had plenty of time to meet the person he would fall in love with, but the feelings that were wrapped up in that scarf that now laid around his neck, Eren was sure he'd always be able to feel. Some things never went away.

The front door opened letting the warm spring air into the house and the quick footsteps whose absence made the house much quieter.

"Daddy!" Carla cried making a beeline for his legs.

Eren caught her in his hands before she grasped onto him, pulling her up to sit on his lap. "Hello, did you have a good morning with Mama?"

Carla nodded her head quickly.

"She helped me pick out lots of good vegetables, right?" Mikasa closed the door behind her, balancing a basket full of food from the market on her hip.

"Yeah, potatoes!"

"My favorite," Eren wiggled his fingers against Carla's sides making the girl squirm in laughter.

Mikasa started to walk by them to put the food away in the kitchen but she stopped short, her eyes landing on Nicolas, and the red scarf still around his neck. She didn't look angry, just more surprised than anything. "Where did you…?"

"I'm sorry, Mom," Nicolas said, quickly took the scarf off from around his neck.

"It's okay, I already talked to him about it," Eren said, Carla's hands reaching up to touch his face.

Mikasa arched an eyebrow at him as if to ask how much he actually told their son. Eren lifted his hand up putting his thumb and pointer finger close together to tell her it was just a bit of the actual story.

"I know it's your, I'll put it back." Nicolas jumped out of the chair and moved to go upstairs but Mikasa kneeled down in front of him before he could, putting the basket in her lap.

She took the old scarf in her hands, thumbs running over the material before she looked back up to Nicolas. "Why don't you keep it." She draped it over his neck, flipping on edge over his shoulder. "I hope it keeps you as safe and warm as it always kept me."

Nicolas grinned as he ran his hand over the scarf. "Thank, Mom." He wrapped his arms around her neck to hug her.

"You're welcome," she hugged him back. "Why don't you do me a favor and put the vegetables away, okay?"

"Kay." He reached down to pick up the basket and heaved it over to the kitchen while Mikasa pushed herself up.

Eren opened one arm against the couch as Mikasa sat down next to him, Carla leaning her head back against her mother's chest.

"What did you tell him?" Mikasa reached a hand up to Carla's hair but her eyes were on Eren's.

"Nothing really, just the bare bones of it. I left out anything…inappropriate."

Mikasa nodded as her eyes moved to watch Nicolas in the kitchen; Eren watched a smile pull across her lips. "It's like looking into the past when he has that one. He looks just like you."

"Well, we were just a few years older than him."

"Daddy," Carla whined, obviously not happy the attention was off her so long.

"Yes, Carla?" he asked reaching down to pull her off Mikasa and back fully into his lap.

"Can we go play with the horses?"

"Of course," Eren pushed himself to his feet taking Carla with him in his arms. "You wanna come, Nic?"

Nicolas shook his head. "I wanna stay with mom."

"Bye, Nic-las, bye, Mama," Carla waved from over Eren's shoulder as he turned to head out the door.

"Bye," Mikasa waved back as she waked to the kitchen where Nicolas was waving too.

"Hey, Mom," Nicolas started, causing Eren to stop after the screen door shut behind him. "Did you always know you loved Dad?"

Eren turned his head to look back into his small home.

"I met him when we were just kids," she said with a smile, reaching one hand over to tug lightly on the scarf that she had passed on to Nicolas. "Well, he told you the story, of course I did."

Eren put Carla down letting her run towards the stables with himself following close behind. It was quite a story, one Nicolas probably wouldn't even believe when the day came that he could hear the truth of how his parents met. At least, there was some proof in the memories of that red scarf and yeah, Eren thought with a smile, a long time of love.


	80. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April 3rd – I Love You
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern Day AU when they are in college  
> Words: 2080  
> Rating: K+

"Hey, Ma!" Eren called out right when he opened the door to his house. He pulled his keys from the door and walked inside the large, but seemingly empty house. "Mom?"

Mikasa followed behind, her backpack slung over her shoulder and her gym bag in her hand.

He shut the door once she was inside, the sound of it echoing in the hallway. "I figure my dad isn't home, I'm sure he's working but my mom's car is here so I'm not sure where she could be."

"In the garden?" Mikasa asked, dropping her gym bag for a moment to stretch her arms over her head. It was nice not to be in his car anymore; granted, two hours wasn't thatlong of a ride from their campus to back home but it was still a while to be cramped in a car.

"Maybe, and before you say it, I  _did_ tell her we were coming to visit this weekend," he said, walking backwards to the kitchen where there were two glass doors that lead to the garden.

Mikasa rolled her eyes but she couldn't resist the smile on her face. "Did you tell her what time we were coming?"

"I think I see her in the garden," he said quickly turning away. "The guest room should be all set for you!" The way Eren quickly hurried out the door told Mikasa all she needed to know in that regard. They might have been older now, but some things never changed.

She headed up the familiar staircase and walked up the hallway she played hide and seek in countless times as a kid. The guest room was the second room on the left; it hadn't changed either. She put her bags on the bed but didn't linger too long; after all, she never spent much time in there even to sleep. Carla knew that, of course, but Mikasa thought Carla kindly ignored it when she'd wake up in the morning to find Mikasa asleep where Eren and Armin had fallen asleep.

Mikasa closed the door behind her and walked the even more familiar path to the room across the hall, the room she knew much better. Eren's room hadn't changed at all again; save for that Carla kept it much cleaner than Eren ever did now that he was away at college most of the year. Mikasa spent almost her whole life playing at the Jaeger's that sometimes it felt more like coming home here than it did going to her own home; that wasn't even an option this weekend since her parents were on vacation.

She walked across the room marveling at the fact there weren't clothes laying around the floor, though she was pretty sure that would change by the time they left on Sunday. There were a few new picture frames on the desk that Carla must have put up to fill up the black space where Eren used to keep his laptop. There was one of Eren and his parents when he was little, and then a more recent one at their high school graduation. There were a few of Eren with Mikasa and Armin but one caught her eye more than the others. She reached to pick up the picture with the black frame; it must have been a rare day when Armin wasn't with them because the picture was just her and Eren.

They had to be no more than fifteen years old at the time and obviously had no idea Carla was taking a picture. Mikasa vaguely remembered that it was a snow day; Armin was there but he was helping his grandpa shovel the driveway so he left for a little bit. The picture was Mikasa laying across the couch, a few blankets piled over her and her head on Eren's lap. She must have been talking to him or something because he had a smile on his face as he watched her; just looking at the picture had a smile pulling at her lips. At that point Mikasa already had her ridiculous crush on her best friend, and here she was six years later with the same ridiculous crush on the same boy.

"What're you looking at?"

Eren's sudden voice nearly made Mikasa dropping the picture she was holding. "Your mom put out some pictures," she shrugged, trying to put the frame down with her now shaky hand, and so Eren wouldn't see the picture she had been staring at.

"It figures." Eren rolled his eyes but he was still smiling so he seemed to be in fine spirits. "I did find her, she was in the garden. She said she'd make us lunch if we were hungry."

"Okay," Mikasa nodded, walking to follow Eren out the door, and closing it behind her.

It really was ridiculous honestly; who had a crush on the same guy since you were a kid? Mikasa asked herself that almost every day all through high school. She had hoped once they went to college that she would find guys who had similar interests to her and that she'd finally be able to move on from the guy who only ever saw her as just his childhood friend. Plenty of guys had asked her out even within freshman year, plenty of nice attractive guys but Mikasa found herself turning them all down and spending her time in Eren and Armin's dorm room more often than not. In fact, her roommate, Sasha, constantly teased that she was gonna forget what Mikasa looked like.

Mikasa had just given into the fact that she was hopeless.

"There you are, sweetheart," Carla's voice called from the kitchen when Mikasa and Eren stepped onto the first floor of the house. Mikasa didn't even have a chance to get further since Carla already had her in a hug; Mikasa didn't mind.

"Hi, Aunt Carla," she said giving the woman she had known for years and years a hug back.

"Are you hungry?"

"For your food, always."

Carla made some kinda happy and flattered noise as she let Mikasa go.

"Good one!" Eren called from the living room to where he had sat down on the couch. "Now she'll make us something real good."

Carla rolled her eyes as she moved back to the kitchen, but her smile was still as bright as ever. "You bet I'll make her the good stuff. What do you want, Eren, instant mac and cheese or soup in a can?"

"Mom," Eren rolled his eyes turning back to look at her.

"Where's Armin? I thought he was coming back too."

"He has a project that's due on Monday," Mikasa answered, following Eren into the living room. "He sends his love though."

Carla hummed happily in response as she started to pull out some food from the fridge.

Mikasa sat down on the couch, kicking her feet up on the cushion to face Eren. "Do you have any homework to work on this weekend?"

"Mikasa, please," he groaned, rolling his head back against the couch cushion dramatically. "It's Friday, let's not speak of homework until Sunday afternoon."

"Remind me again how you do well in class?"

"It's a gift."

"Armin helps you doesn't he."

"Yeah, I'd be dead without him."

Mikasa laughed as she leaned back against the armrest. These were her favorite times; she loved Armin, he was her other best friend but she loved Eren, in a very different way. She loved the times she got to have him to herself and Mikasa was always surprised how much she actually did get him to herself. Eren dated a few girls in high school but it was never more than just a few dates and that was it; he hadn't met anyone in college, well, at least that Mikasa knew of. She honestly didn't know why, though she wasn't going to question it; Eren was gorgeous, and funny, and kind, any girl would be lucky to have him. She wished she was that lucky.

"What's wrong?"

Mikasa's head snapped up not realizing she had drifted back to her thoughts. "Nothing," she gave him a small smile but he didn't look too convinced. "I'm just tired, we woke up pretty early."

"I believe that was your idea."

She reached over to swat at his shoulder but he caught her hand instead; that never happened.

He must've noticed how her eyes got wide because he got that smug look on his face Mikasa saw countless times. "Oh yeah, you were a little slow there weren't you."

Mikasa decided not to say was wasn't intentionally trying to hit him because then he wouldn't be able to catch her. "Oh yes, the black belt is a little slow."

"I put some food in the oven," Carla called from the kitchen. "I'm going out to the garden again so just call me when the timer goes off."

"Okay, Mom," Eren called back though he was still watching Mikasa.

She couldn't quite read the look that was in his eyes but it turned out she didn't have time to. Eren completely caught her off guard by lunging at her, his hands grabbing her sides. "Eren!" she gasped, trying desperately to ignore the heat that filled her chest at his touch.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't." He was grinning madly down out her, wiggling his fingers lightly to send her into a fit of laughter.

"Eren!" she cried again in-between laughter.

"Nope, not a good enough reason."

She gasped her laughter, her hands reaching out to grab a hold of his arms. "Okay, okay!"

Eren paused, looking down at her with those bright eyes she knew so well, his shaggy brown hair falling slightly in his face. "Well?" his voice was a little breathless, his smile still wide. He really was gorgeous.

It was out of her mouth before she even had a chance. "Because I love you."

There was a silence that settled between them as the gravity of her words not only hit her but judging by the way his eyes widened a bit, him as well. Mikasa's heart was racing in her chest as her mind tried and tried to find something to take those words back. "I uhh…I mean I do…I just…" she sputtered, panic rising in her. She tried to smile up at him but every part of her just wanted to cry. She promised herself she'd never tell him, that their friendship was worth so much more than her stupid feelings and she just blew all that up. She tried to think of something to make it better, to get him to stop looking at her like that but nothing would come.

She was about to just give up and leave but Eren's hold wasn't allowing it; he was still grasping onto her waist. Mikasa looked down at her hands that were still on his arms in complete shame; this was a disaster. Why wouldn't he just let her go so she could avoid him for the rest of the weekend? She felt him shift over her slightly causing her eyes to instantly look back up. She expected a lot of things from him, one of them was not his lips suddenly against hers.

Mikasa gasped aloud when she felt him kiss her, her eyes wide. It didn't seem to bother him too much though because he didn't pull away. Against her better judgment, Mikasa found herself melting into him; her eyes fluttered shut as she kissed him back. His kiss was careful but still confident at the same time and she couldn't resist a sigh that fell against his mouth.

His hands reached up from her waist to cup her face, keeping her close to him before he broke their kiss slightly, their noses nearly brushing against each other.

"What was that for," Mikasa breathed, feeling like she was unable to catch her breath.

"Easy," he murmured. "I love you too."

It was Mikasa who reached up for his face this time, pulling him back to her. She wasn't exactly sure what this was going to change, or how it was going to change things but Mikasa didn't care anymore. All she knew was she told him the truth (even if it was an accident). She really did love him but she also was loving how he kissed her, the way his body was pressed up against hers.

They'd worry about the oven timer later.


	81. Amazing How We Got This Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amazing How We Got This Far
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series when they are older (probably mid-late twenties) but still in the military  
> Words: 3274  
> Rating: M (Sexual Situations)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon asked for a smutty request where Eren and Mikasa were an older couple in the military and had to find time to actually have a little alone time. I had a lot of fun writing this one, it’s been a while since I wrote full out smut so it was nice to write it again for them. This is basically pwp and I don’t even care. Title is from “Secrets” by OneRepublic.
> 
> I have a really important note for you guys! I just wanted to give you a heads up that I’m gonna end Feels Like Home at 100 chapters (101 on FF.net) so requests for this story are closed; I already have all I need to finish it up ^^ Please don’t get me wrong though! That doesn’t mean I’ll stop writing for Eremika, not at all. I still have Zombie AU and I’ll always take requests from you guys on tumblr ^^ Plus I’ll still do the ship weeks, and maybe publish one shots I particularly like as separate pieces (and some other things I have in the early works ;3). I just feel like this particular set has run its course and it’s time to close it up. I never imagined it would ever get this long and with this much love! For now though, I hope you enjoy the rest of the 20 so chapters I have planned to post, and here’s some smut! ;3

Eren knew he had a lot of work to do today; meetings, packing, mission prep, briefing his team before they left in a few days. There was a lot he needed to do but instead he found himself wandering around the stables not wanting to do any of his responsibilities. It’s not like he didn’t like going on missions but they meant weeks away from the base Eren called home.

He kicked a few rocks on the stable floor as he wondered how long it would take for someone to drag him back to his actual work; hopefully it would be no time soon. Eren shoved his hands into his uniform pockets, the horses whining as he went by and the stable hands saluting when they saw him. Maybe he should stop avoiding his work and get things done so he wouldn’t need to worry when he left but a small laugh made him completely forget his previous thought.

Mikasa had her back to him feeding her horse a sugar cube she must’ve taken from the kitchen. Eren didn’t expect her to be down here but maybe she was avoiding work too. Well, it was more likely she finished all her work and had free time now. Regardless, he was more than a little happy to see her during the day when generally the only time they had before they went home was lunch. He walked up behind her and wrapped both his arms around her waist, pulling her back into him.

Mikasa didn’t seem very surprised as she leaned back against him telling Eren she already knew he was there. “Slacking off?” she asked but he almost heard the smile on her lips, her hands resting over his.

“Taking a break,” he said, pressing a kiss to her neck.

“How long have you been on break?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He kissed her neck again and bit at her skin lightly, earning a slap on his hands.

“Knock it off,” she murmured. “We’re in public.”

Another kiss on her neck and then on higher up right below her ear. “I’m pretty sure the horses don’t mind.”

She turned around in his arms, probably to get him to stop which was fine, he was only teasing her. What Eren didn’t expect was her lips suddenly pressed against his.

“Mmm,” he sighed, his hands pressing into the small of her back while her hands curled into his shirt. “What was that for?”

Mikasa shrugged as she leaned her forehead to his. “Maybe I’m gonna miss you when you leave.”

“You’ll see me every day until then.” He murmured and slowly started into back her into the wall of the stable. “We live together.”

She gave him a small smile, hands reaching up to wrap around his neck. “Well, I never get sick of you.” Her back hit the wall and Eren’s lips were back pressed against hers, though a little less teasing and little more passionate. He couldn’t help it, he couldn’t resist her.

Mikasa gasped against his lips when Eren dropped his hands down her back to her ass. He grinned into their kiss; despite the many layers of the uniform, over the years they learned how to work around it. He rolled up the back of her skirt grasping down on the tight pants and few leather pants covering her ass while he nudged one of his legs between hers.

“Eren,” Mikasa groaned when he moved his lips down to her neck again, her voice sending a jolt down his spine.

“Hmm?” He was pretty sure she was gonna tell him to stop; she wasn’t much for public affection but instead she just reached her hands up to his hair, running her fingers along his head as she pulled his lips back up to hers. Mikasa surprised him yet again when she rolled her hips into his.

It was Eren’s turn to groan; he pressed himself against her making her back push right up against the stable wall. It had been years but she still had the ability to turn him on in a matter of seconds; that was painfully obviously since his pants were already so tight. She dropped her hands down to his chest as she kissed him, grinding her hips back into his as she did.

Eren had to grip his hands on her ass, giving her a strong roll of his hips against hers. He broke their kiss, trailing his lips on her jaw then to her neck, teeth nipping at her skin as he did. “Gonna miss me, huh,” he said against her skin.

Mikasa let out a small laugh that quickly turned into a moan when Eren bit down on the base of her neck, the farthest he could go without undoing her shirt though that was his next move. She reached her hands up to the top of his pants, untucking his shirt so she could run her hands up the front of his bare chest the best she could under his harness.

“I’ll really miss you,” she murmured, her hands leaving goosebumps on his skin.

Eren kissed back up her neck, stopping to suck on that one spot behind her ear that had her fingers digging into his skin. He was about ready to just rip the buttons off her shirt to get closer to her but a sudden chorus of giggling had his head snapping up, hands reaching for Mikasa’s waist.

There was a group of female new recruits scurrying by them in the stables, red faced and trying to stop their giggles as they walked by their senior officers.

“Alright,” Eren grunted, making the younger girls jump but he made no effort to step away from Mikasa; his uniform pants weren’t forgiving on a normal day let alone when he had an erection. “Go on now.”

They ran off in the distance though not without more laughter at catching some of their superiors in a compromising situation.

Eren looked over to Mikasa whose face was a little red but she was giving him a smile. She pulled her hands from under his shirt and slipped her fingers into his belt loops, pulling him close. “I think we should take this somewhere else.”

He didn’t have to be told twice. Eren laced his fingers with hers as he grabbed her hand and led her towards the front of the stable. He made sure no one was looking when he pushed the tack room door open and pulled her inside. Thankfully, no stable hands where inside when Eren pressed Mikasa up against the door.

Her hands were already in his hair when he moved to kiss her again. Every touch was more heated than before, his hands grasping onto her hips as he grinded into her, lips moving furiously with hers.

Mikasa jumped up into his touch, easily wrapping her legs around his waist, hands pulling on his hair. Eren leaned his weight into her, his hands running up her sides and up to the buckle of the strap across her chest. Once he felt it pop, he pulled at the buttons on her blouse, moving his lips from hers and down to kiss every inch of her newly exposed skin.

She sighed as she dropped her hands to Eren’s shoulders, pulling at his jacket. Her back arched right into him when his lips reached the top of her breast. “Eren,” she whined, rolling her hips into him which only made him groan against her skin.

“You’re driving me crazy,” he murmured, fingers not stopping until he untucked her shirt from her pants, leaving just the last few buttons still done up. He slipped his hands under her shirt and grasped onto her waist, kissing down the valley of her breasts and one hand moving up to grab her breast through her bra.

Small cries fell from her lips while he rubbed his palm against her. Eren really wanted to tease her, to wind her up but his pants were painfully tight and he didn’t think he could handle it himself. He slipped his hand under her bra and grabbed a hold of her again, though this time he felt her hard nipple against his palm. He balanced his weight against her and reached his other hand up, pulling the breast by his mouth out and placing his lips over her.

Mikasa cried out, her hands gripping down on his shoulders and her back arching into his touch. Her hips grinded right into his arousal making Eren barely able to keep his focus on anything but just taking the rest of her uniform off.

“Shh, shh,” he murmured, pressing a few lingering kisses against her sensitive skin. “Someone will-”

As if on cue the door behind Mikasa opened, but the pressure of them leaning against it slammed the door shut. “What the hell?” a voice said from outside.

Eren let go of Mikasa as she quickly buttoned her shirt, her feet hitting the ground. The door tried to open again but Eren pressed his hand against it to keep it shut for a moment longer.

“Is someone in there?” the person, probably a stable hand, asked.

Eren removed his hand when Mikasa was at least covered, even though they both looked disarrayed and far below uniform standards.

It was an older stable hand who opened the door to see Mikasa and Eren standing there looking like there really was only one thing they were doing. “With all due respect, Sirs,” the stable hand sighed with a shake of his head. “You do realize you aren’t teenagers anymore, right?”

Mikasa grabbed a hold of Eren’s hand and tugged him out of the room, squeezing past the stable hand. “Nothing wrong with pretending now and then.” She quickly started to walk away but whether it was because she was embarrassed or because she didn’t want to hear what the stable hand had to say Eren wasn’t sure.

He was apt to think it was the latter because the moment they reached the back end of the building closest to the stables it was Eren’s back that was pressed up against the wall. There were outside again but the area was pretty remote being one of the outer buildings on the base and where they were was shielded from the main path. Granted, he didn’t think about it too long though, not when Mikasa’s lips were on his neck, her fingers under his shirt.

He reached his hands to her hips, pulling her into him as his head hit the back of the wall, a groan falling from his lips. She ran her hands up his chest as she kissed his neck, nipping at his skin as she did.

“Jesus,” he grunted, one of her hands gripping his side while the other ran down to his stomach, fingers dipping just below the waistband of his pants. He was tempted to just hoist her up and take her back to their apartment but he didn’t even know if he’d make it that long. Mikasa ran a hand down the front of his pants, not stopping till her palm was rubbing against his throbbing erection.

Yeah, okay, he was not gonna make it that long at all. “Fuck,” he groaned, rolling his hips into her hand that was running up and down his hard length through his pants. He pressed his lips fiercely to hers, moaning against her mouth when her hand hit a particularly sensitive spot on his tip. Her other hand popped the button on his pants, reaching for the zipper next but Eren grabbed her hand to have her stop. There wasn’t much more teasing he could take; instead, he pulled her back around the building slipping into the side door.

It was a meeting house of sorts but the older one so it wasn’t used too often anymore. The hall was clear when Eren pulled Mikasa in through the nearest door. It was shut and locked and Mikasa was in his arms again, his lips on hers. He reached down to grab her ass, urging her to jump up into his arms which she more than obliged. He used his legs to push away some of the chairs in front of the meeting table and placed Mikasa down on the wood.

She had her hands up and under his shirt again while his fingers fiddled with the blouse buttons once more. He gave her breasts a squeeze earning a moan from her lips before he hastily dropped his hands to push her skirt away and pop the button on her uniform pants, her hands working on the buckles of her lower harness while she kissed him.

There were much easier positions when maneuvering around this damn uniform and Eren didn’t like them. Well, he couldn’t say that exactly since anything with Mikasa was more than just good but he liked to see her face, her eyes. He loved to kiss her, to hold her, to touch her so while helping her pull one pant leg completely off and pushing the other down by her knee was risky, he honestly didn’t care.

Mikasa sat up when her pants were partly off leaving her just in her panties and half open top and went to work in his lower harness, making sure to brush by his arousal every chance she got. He pushed aside his own skirt and finished the job she started so Mikasa could tug on the sides of his pants till he was finally free of his constraining uniform.

He reached to grab at Mikasa’s panties but she was already on it, they were off her legs where her pants were hanging. As much as he wanted to just take a moment to look at the gorgeous woman he loved, they were already pushing it at this point, someone was bound to coming looking for them sooner or later and fuck if he wasn’t about to finish what he started with her. Eren grabbed a hold of her hips as closed the distance between them, Mikasa taking him in her hands as she helped guide him.

Eren didn’t even bother trying to stop the groan that came from his mouth when he pushed himself into her. He couldn’t even count how many times he had been with Mikasa at this point in their lives but every time…he wasn’t even sure if he could actually describe it. She rolled her hips up into his, hands grasping onto his shirt as her own cries filled his ears.

His fingers dug into her skin meeting her motions with a steady rhythm that already had his head spinning. She pulled at his shirt, taking him down with her till her back hit the table, her legs wrapping around his waist as he thrust into her. Eren pressed his hands against the tables on either side of her for balance and moved his lips to kiss along her neck greedily.

“Eren,” she moaned, her fingers tight in his shirt and he had to control himself not to lose it right there. Her voice sent shivers down his spine; his name never sounded better on anyone’s lips than hers.

He groaned against her skin, motions getting more erratic as every thrust was harder, faster. Mikasa rolled her hips up with him, her legs around him urging him on. He felt her toes curling against him, her body withering underneath, the cries from her lips; she was close and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer himself, not with the way she had the ability to wind him up.

With a strangled cry from his own lips, pulse pounding in his ears, he pushed himself hard into her until he felt her body tense up but by the time he heard the moans falling from her lips from her orgasm they were mixed with his own. His vision went white as the undeniable waves of pleasure nearly made him lose his balance over her. He rested his head against her chest, trying to catch his breath and feeling her gentle touch running through his hair while his heart tried to stop racing.

God, he just wanted to stay here but he knew they shouldn’t; the Scouting Legion did still use this building on occasion and that was all Eren needed, for Levi to walk in on them with a group of people for a meeting. Eren pressed his lips up against her neck and across her jaw till he reached her lips. He felt her smile as he kissed her causing him to sigh. When did he ever get so lucky?

Reality sunk back into pretty quickly when the door Eren thankfully locked started to shake.

“Is there already a meeting in here?” a voice asked from outside the room.

“No, there isn’t one schedule in here all day. Let me get the keys,” another one said.

Eren was already zipping up his pants while Mikasa had to shove her leg back in her pants and get her boot back on. He popped the lock on the nearest window in the room and quickly swung it open. He heard the jingling of the keys outside the door and gestured for Mikasa to get over to him. She was still doing up her shirt when Eren helped her out the window and back outside. He jumped out himself just as it seemed the door opened.

Eren heard the people walking into the room from their spot right outside the window and tugged Mikasa along the backside of the building just in case they decided to look out the suspiciously open window. It wasn’t until they were a good distance away down towards the other side of the building that Mikasa started to laugh.

“They almost completely walked in on us,” she breathed, though Eren wasn’t quite sure if she actually found it funny or if she was just relieved.

He cracked a smile despite the way his heart was pounding in his chest. “Feel good to act like we were sixteen again?”

Mikasa reached up to grab onto his shirt, pulling her close to him. “Everything always feels good with you.”

Eren melted right into her, wrapping his arms around her waist as he leaned in to kiss her again; there was nothing about her he would ever get tired of.

“There you guys are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you two.”

Eren looked up though he didn’t move away from Mikasa, he easily recognized Armin’s voice so there was no need to act too professional. Sure enough, the blond was walking over to them from the main path.

“Where were you guys?”

Eren felt Mikasa’s eyes on him as he looked over to Armin. “Oh you know, around.”

Armin arched an eyebrow and looked like he was gonna ask again but his eyes dropped, seemingly just noticing that neither of them had yet to fix their shirts and harnesses because they were certainly not up to regulation. “You know what, I really don’t want to know. Levi’s looking for you, Eren, so I suggest you fix yourself before you go find him.”

“Thanks, buddy,” Eren said with a slightly sheepish grin.

Armin rolled his eyes but he was still smiling as he waved to them, walking back the way he came.

Mikasa buried her face in Eren’s chest and he rested his chin on her head. He shook his head with a snort; some things were probably left better off as secrets.

It was so worth it though.


	82. I'm Gonna Try for an Uptown Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm Gonna Try For a Uptown Girl
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern Day AU where they've never met before  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 3250

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry to whoever requested this one because I can't for the life of me find your url ;-; I know it had music in it but I lost it please forgive me ;-; They requested a fic where Mikasa taught Eren how to play the piano and found themselves in close proximity because of it. I revered it a bit just cause I like making Eren stronger in the arts and guys who play the piano are hot ;3

"Mikasa," Sasha whined as she followed her friend down the sidewalk. "Do we have to go back to this place? We go every single Thursday night. Can we maybe eat somewhere else for once?"

"No," was Mikasa's answer as she glanced back to Sasha, who had her shoulders slumped. "If you don't want to come you didn't have to."

Sasha perked up a bit as she moved to walk next to Mikasa as opposed to behind her. "No way! I'm not gonna just let you go alone. We're friends, we have to stick together. I just wish we'd stick together somewhere else."

Mikasa rolled her eyes but she couldn't help but smile at Sasha's expressions. Yeah, Mikasa wanted her friend to be happy and have nice nights out, but Mikasa liked this particular coffee house on Thursday nights. "What's wrong with this place?"

"Nothing really, it's nice enough. I just thought we could do something different. I mean we've been going every week for like a month now."

"Isn't it nice to have a familiar place to go once a week?"

"We might live in a city but this isn't  _Cheers_ , Mikasa," Sasha laughed, pushing her shoulder into Mikasa's. "There's so many places we can go to and see new things, new people."

"There's always tomorrow, we can go where you'd like then," Mikasa said, opening the door to the familiar coffee shop to let Sasha in.

"Okay, fine," Sasha said, but she still seemed to be in perfect spirits as she stepped into the dim lighting of the coffee house. She might've talked a lot but Mikasa knew Sasha was fine with pretty much everything, including coming to the same place every night if it was what Mikasa wanted to do; there was a reason they were roommates after all.

Mikasa lead them to the same small table they always ate at, one that was a little bit in the back but still had a nice view of the small stage. She would never deny she didn't like the same comfortable things when she left the house.

Sasha plopped herself down in her usual cushioned seat and dropped her bag on the ground. "It looks a bit more crowded in here tonight. I wonder if the artist is getting more popular these days."

Mikasa hummed her agreement as she pulled off her jacket, leaving her in just her simple dress and cardigan. It was looking a bit busier than a normal Thursday night even though the same artist played every Thursday night; Sasha had to be right, that or some event got out nearby and people finally realized this place had wonderful drinks and food.

"Hello, ladies," Krista smiled as she walked over to their table, notebook in hand. "The usual tonight?"

Mikasa nodded as Krista scribble down an order before looking to Sasha.

"An extra scone for me tonight," Sasha said. "Oh! And a lemon tart too."

Krista giggled but she wrote it down. "Okay I'll be back soon."

Mikasa looked down at her hands in her lap as she straightened her dress against her legs, at least that's what she wanted it to look like, really she was trying to wipe her sweaty palms against something and to ignore the pounding in her chest. Sasha seemed blissfully unaware which Mikasa was thankful for; all she needed was her loud mouthed roommate to get wind of how Mikasa was feeling.

"Mmm," Sasha sighed. "It smells so good in here tonight. I bet they are making some fresh pastries or something. Hopefully Krista will snag us a few."

"Yeah," Mikasa said trying to give her a smile but there was a lump in her throat as she glanced down at the time on her cellphone. She leaned back in the cushioned chair and crossed her leg over her knee, trying to will herself to relax a little more. It really was a nice café. It was roomy with equally spread out tables and all sorts of chairs and couches to sit on. They kept the lights dimmer at night so it wasn't ridiculously bright against the night atmosphere but it gave the whole place the right feel mixed with the kinda old world and classy setting the whole place gave off. She had stumbled in on accident but she found she liked it very much the more she stayed.

"Okay here we go," Krista said, breaking Mikasa's thoughts. "Chai Tea Latte and orange scone for Mikasa." The small blonde girl placed a plate and a large mug onto the table. "And a Mocha Latte with extra whipped cream, two raspberry scones, a slice of crumb bread, and one lemon tart."

"You are wonderful," Sasha said, helping Krista with the plates on the tray she was holding.

"I actually got Ymir to sneak you guys some fresh chocolate cake too," Krista hushed sliding two more plates off the tray before she gave them a wink and scurried away.

"I take it back," Sasha said, diving for the cake. "We can come here all the time."

Mikasa rolled her eyes as she sipped her tea. "At least I always know the way to your heart."

Sasha wasn't listening though; she was already going after her food. Mikasa was about to follow suit, after all that cake looked amazing, but a figure moved towards the stage and her breath caught in her throat. She watched him walk across the stage and sit down at the baby grand piano that was permanently off to the side of the stage. He let his fingers brush over the keys, soft chords ringing out and quieting the café.

"Hey guys," his voice rang out through the microphone that was stationed above the music stand. "Thanks for coming out, granted, I'm pretty sure that was probably for the food here and not so much me but I don't mind sharing the spotlight with Ymir's cheesecake. It's pretty damn heavenly."

There was some laughter scattered throughout the crowd.

"I have to plug her or she'll kick me out but really, I do appreciate it." A few more light chords. "It's nice to see some new faces." His bright eyes scanned the crowd and Mikasa's heart nearly stopped when they met hers. "And familiar ones."

He looked away again, talking about how they were gonna have some fun tonight but Mikasa had to quickly sip down her tea to hide her embarrassing smile. She was twenty five years old and she had the biggest school girl crush on the cute boy who played the piano every Thursday night at the café.

Eren, his name was Eren Jaeger. He was friends with the owners so he played here every Thursday night as the entertainment and he was very good at what he did. From what she could tell he did it just for fun but he never used sheet music and could play at least a bit of most every request someone gave him. Not to mention between his shaggy brown hair, tanned skin, toothy grin, and bright turquoise eyes Mikasa had a hard time breathing every time he looked at her, which despite only seeing him once a night for a few weeks was more often than normal.

Yet she couldn't bring herself to actually talk to him.

Yeah, she was an adult and she shouldn't be afraid to talk to a boy just because he was gorgeous, but she chickened out every time. She slipped out after the show before she could embarrass herself more than trying not to stare at him all night.

Someone requested some 80's glam song that would sound ridiculous on the piano but Eren started playing and singing to it like it was the most natural thing in the world. The room was already up in laughter. Mikasa had to keep hiding her grin behind her mug; he was even cute mimicking David Bowie.

"Oh my God," Sasha's voice snapped Mikasa out of her trance as someone else requested a new song for Eren.

"What?" Mikasa breathed looking over to her friend.

Sasha was staring over to Mikasa with wide eyes. "You don't come here every week cause you like this place."

"Of course I do," Mikasa said, reaching up to brush some of her hair behind her ear. "You've already eaten most all your pastries; you know it's good here."

Sasha shook her head, a wide smile pulling at her lips. "But  _you_ haven't touched any of yours and you've been staring at him from the moment he got on that stage."

Mikasa felt her cheeks heat up as she looked away from Sasha's knowing eyes. "That's not true."

"Oh, yes it is. I know you."

Someone apparently liked the way Eren did the 80s cause he was pounding out another song full of power chords and large notes.

"I can't believe I never noticed it till now." Sasha leaned in across the table looking giddier than when all the food first came out. "Have you talked to him yet?"

"No," Mikasa shushed her, not wanting anyone around them to hear in case they knew Eren.

"Figures." Sasha rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I missed that. I knew he kept looking over here all the time but I didn't think about-"

Mikasa choked on her tea. "What?"

"Are you seriously telling me you never noticed how much he looks over at here, at  _you_?"

Her heart was pounding in her chest now; yeah, their eyes crossed paths every now in then but that…that wasn't intentional. "I..what..no…" Sasha was just being ridiculous; Mikasa wasn't anybody, why would he ever look her way?

A mischievous look crossed Sasha's eyes instead. "I'll prove it to you."

Mikasa panicked. "Sasha, don't you da-"

Eren was already looking out in the crowd for another request when Sasha jumped up out of her seat, her hand up in the air.

"Billy Joel!" she announced loudly.

Eren rolled his eyes with a laugh. "Like I haven't heard that one before. Should I go ahead with the cliché and do 'Piano Man' too?"

Sasha shook her head. "'Uptown Girl'. It's  _Mikasa's_ favorite." Sasha must've nodded her head towards Mikasa or gestured towards her somehow because the next thing she knew Eren was looking at her.

"Well," he said his fingers already playing the opening to the song. "If its Mikasa's favorite how could I ever say no?"

Mikasa felt her cheeks heat up and she hoped the dim lighting of the café hide the redness in her face from both Sasha calling her out and Eren now singing, yes, one of her favorite songs, almost directly to her.

"There," Sasha said, sounding very pleased when the snippet of the song was over (granted he did play the song longer than he played the other songs). "He knows your name now."

"I'm going to kill you," she groaned in response, resisting tossing her face in her hands.

"No, you won't. I bet he'll come talk to you after the show today so don't be a baby and talk to the boy. He's cute, you deserve it."

Mikasa made an effort not to talk to Sasha for the rest of the time Eren was playing but it didn't seem to bother her, she still was looking as smug and as happy as could be while she ate her and Mikasa's chocolate cake. A part of Mikasa  _was_  happy because it felt like a step in the right direction but the other part of her was terrified. It had been so long since she had felt this way about a guy she didn't know; her heart pounding in her chest wasn't exactly comfortable.

"Alright, thanks so much for coming out, guys. I really appreciate it," Eren said standing up to give a very exaggerated bow while the rest of the people in the café clapped and started to get up to pay their bills and head out.

Mikasa stood up as well, trying not to look anywhere in the café but especially not Sasha or Eren which she didn't even know where he had walked off to.

"I'll pay," Sasha said, grabbing the bill Krista left on the table for them.

Mikasa didn't fight over the bill for once she just reached for her jacket ready to leave before Sasha could embarrass her further.

"I see your drink's empty, mind if I treat you to one?"

The voice made Mikasa freeze mid putting on her jacket. She looked up to see Eren standing by her table, giving her one of those smiles she had gotten so used to seeing every Thursday night. Her mind went blank when she realized he was looking directly at her. "Isn't the café closing?" Yeah, that was perfect, Mikasa, turn down the guy why don't you?

He didn't seem bothered by it though, he just laughed. "I know the owner, I'm sure she won't mind. Besides I used to work here, I could make you one myself." He looked over at the counter where Krista was dealing with a line of people trying to cash out. "Which I'll have to do or Krista will probably throw a mug at my head."

Mikasa laughed despite herself and Sasha's words rang in her ears. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. "Okay, I'd like that."

"Okay, Chai Tea Latte right?" Eren said as he started to walk backwards to the counter.

"Yeah," she nodded biting her lips lightly; she didn't bothering asking how he knew.

"Got it," he gave her another smile before disappearing behind the various machines and pasty cases that were surrounding the counter.

"I hate to say I told you so," Sasha sing-songed as she grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair. "No, wait, I totally don't. I'll see you at home!" She gave Mikasa wink and rushed out the door before Mikasa could even get a word in. Some best friend she was wasn't even sticking around to actually support Mikasa in the situation that was Sasha's fault she was in to begin with. Yet as Mikasa looked over to where she could just barely see Eren's head as he made her a drink she couldn't actually be mad at Sasha.

Mikasa waked over to the counter, avoiding people who were heading out the door and took a seat at one of the stools. She watched Eren pour some liquid into a mug from a silver container.

"Okay, so it's been a while." Eren passed the mug to Mikasa. "If it tastes like crap just tell me and I'll make Krista do it."

"No you won't!" Krista said, following the last customers out of the café to lock the door. "I'm officially off."

"You still have to count the drawers and clean up with Ymir."

"I meant making drinks, smart ass."

Mikasa brought the cup up to her lips and took a careful sip of the hot drink; it was a little bit different than the way Krista made it but it was still good.

"I'd say considering she didn't spit it out you're in the okay, Eren," Krista said by the door to the kitchen. Eren looked like he was going to toss the towel he had been wiping his hands with but she held her hands up. "I'm going in the back to help Ymir clean first, okay?"

Eren laughed with a nod before turning back to Mikasa when the back door swung shut. "So," he started, watching her as she tried not to joke on her tea due to her increased heart rate. "I've seen you here before on some other Thursday nights. Live in the area?"

Mikasa nodded. "A little bit away but close enough still to walk. I found this place on night and I…" Well, he did ask her to stay after close with him so maybe it was okay to tell him the truth. "I happened to like the musical guest they have her on Thursday nights."

He snorted but his smile got a little wider. "Yeah, I don't know where they pick up these people to play. His mom is probably the owner or something."

"Hey," Mikasa said, putting her drink down on the counter. "I happen to think you're very good. I don't have any sort of musical bone in my body so what you do is really amazing."

As Eren watched her he got a different look in his eyes, one Mikasa couldn't place nor did she have the time because he was already walking away.

"I doubt that," he said, gesturing for her to follow him away from the counter.

"Doubt what?" He didn't need to ask her to follow twice.

"That you don't have a musical bone in your body, everyone has at least one. It's scientifically proven."

Mikasa laughed and was gonna say she doubted that but he was already sitting down at the piano.

"Wanna learn?"

She just stared dumbfounded at him.

"Don't look at me like that," he laughed. "It's easy."

Mikasa crossed her arms against her chest. "And just how long have you been playing?"

"Since I was six years old but that's beside the point, c'mere."

She couldn't exactly resist that toothy smile of his, so she sat down next to him on the bench but that didn't seem to be what Eren meant. He reached over to grab a hold over her waist and pulled her into his lap till she was sitting firmly between his legs.

He positioned his hands over the piano. "Place your hands over mine so your fingers are directly on each one of my fingers." His breath was warm in her ear and it sent chills down her spine.

"Okay," she breathed. The moment she had her hands over his he started to press down on the keys playing a few chords she recognized to be the opening to "Uptown Girl" again. It was a strange feeling; she felt exactly how his fingers moved to make the keys play a song she knew but she didn't know any of the notes what so ever. It was still exhilarating though, well, she wasn't sure if that was from the music or Eren's warm body so close to hers.

"See, easy," he said. "Is this really one of your favorites or did your friend just want to announce your name?"

She almost heard the laugher in his tone and she hoped he couldn't see the way her face flushed. "Yes, it is. My dad used to sing it to me when I was little."

"See! You do have a musical bone if your dad used to sing."

"I never said he sang it well."

Eren laughed and she felt the vibrations from his chest on her back. "Well…" His hands moved on to keep playing the rest of the song while he spoke. "If you keep coming back I can show you how to play any song you'd like."

Her breath caught in her throat and she turned her head to look at him. His hands halted on the piano when her lips nearly brushed his. He looked a little surprised that they were so close or maybe just that she turned back to look at him at such close proximity; Eren really did have beautiful eyes.

"Does it have to be just Thursdays?" she asked breathlessly.

The surprised look on his face was replaced by a smile. "No, it definitely does not."


	83. Let Your Memory Lead You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let Your Memory Lead You
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: In the training years  
> Words: 2158  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sentinel07 asked for a prompt where Eren catches Mikasa doing embroidery and realizes he doesn't know much about her past before they met. I thought it was really cute cause let's face it as close as they are Mikasa probably never talked about her parents at first. Eren would have no idea who they are or even their names and I like it because despite that they are still very close. Once Eren lost his mom and everything with his dad, no one probably understood better than Mikasa. Title is from "Memory" from the musical Cats.

There weren't many places to hide on the training base, just the barracks and a few rooms in the main hall. Granted, they didn't get that much time off to begin with but Eren found himself wandering around the base on one of those days. He decided to leave the boy's barracks since Armin wanted to read and the silence was going to put Eren to sleep which wasn't how he wanted to spend his limited time to do what he wanted. The mess hall was the opposite; it was too loud since most everyone congregated in there and Connie and Sasha were doing imitations of everyone. Eren normally wouldn't have minded the laughter or maybe to go sit with Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie who were always a bit quieter but nothing just seemed to appeal to him.

He decided to just walk alone, heading down one of the halls that led to God knows where. If anyone said anything to him he'd just say he got lost and turn around so he didn't quite see the harm. Besides, there was one person he didn't see in the mess hall, and the fact the black haired girl hadn't found him yet unnerved him a bit. Eren supposed he should be happy, its free time and he didn't have anyone trailing him around but at the same time her lack of presence made him worry. He'd rather just find Mikasa and know nothing had happened to her then worry about it all night.

Eren had already tried to check the girl's barracks as best he could without someone yelling at him but there were no lights on and no voices so he assumed she wasn't in there unless she was asleep. He was tempted to peek in just to make sure but he didn't quite want to risk Shadis biting his head off and making him do laps all night.

Instead he found himself still wandering the halls seeing many doors and a few people he hadn't seen before; no one yelled at him to go back to the mess hall so he figured he was okay but he still didn't like that even in a relatively small place he couldn't find the one person who normally never left him alone. With a frustrated sigh, he turned and started to go back the way he came this time turning down a different hallway.

It was pretty quiet down this hall, no one around or even nearby it seemed. There were less doors lining the walls and at the end was just another wall; a dead end. Eren was gonna turn around again but something caught his ear. At first he thought someone might be singing from one of the rooms, something melodic and smooth; when he stopped he realized it wasn't singing but someone humming. It was soft and distant but vaguely familiar, like he heard it before but couldn't quite place it. It was almost like it was from a dream.

He tried to pin point which room it was coming from by hearing if the song got louder depending on what door he pressed his ear to. He probably looked insane to anyone who may have walked by but he was curious to why the song sounded so familiar; he needed to know where it was coming from.

It was the last door in the hallway and the moment he pressed his ear against it he heard the humming as clear as day. There was someone obviously behind the door, so Eren wasn't sure how to proceed. Did he risk knocking and having the person stop before he could understand where the song was coming from? Or should he give the person behind the door a heart attack by just swinging open the door?

Eren turned the door knob, deciding it was probably better just to walk in; he could always play it off as a mistake if he needed to, and pushed the door open. The room was rather small, just one window casting in the moonlight from outside; it looked like a small and rather cozy library, something that didn't quite fit on a military base. The sudden halting of the song caught his attention again though and his eyes quickly found the source of the song sitting on a chair near the window.

"Mikasa?" he asked, staring a little dumbfounded at the girl but it was her alright; Eren would know her anywhere.

She looked a little surprised at first but her face easily fell back into its normal expression.

"What're you doing here?" He closed the door behind him, relieved there was no one in here who was gonna yell at him for sticking his nose in places he shouldn't and that he had finally found her; the worry he hadn't even know he was feeling unknotted itself from his chest. He was a little surprised she wandered out here alone since she generally was always with him and Armin but he came out here alone too so he supposed he couldn't blame her.

She shrugged. "Just wanted some place quiet."

Eren walked the short distance to where she was sitting, pulling up another chair to sit near her. The room was pretty bright for there not being any light but the lights from outside shining in and it was bright enough to see the small scrap of white fabric in Mikasa's hand. "What's that?" he asked, gesturing to her hands.

Mikasa hesitated for a moment, like she was unsure how to answer but she held up the fabric for him to see. There was a small design started on it with black thread, a thin line of the thread leading back to a needle in Mikasa's other hand.

It was something he saw his mom do before but he never saw Mikasa even pick up a needle let alone sew with it. "Did you do that?"

She nodded, putting the fabric back in her lap but Eren reached over to pull it out of her hand. Mikasa moved to stop him, but he held it quickly out of her reach, holding it up to the window to get a better look.

"Eren," she started, her voice warning but it wavered a bit tell him she really wasn't all that mad, maybe just embarrassed.

"Wow," he said, running his fingers over the bumps of thread that were sewn together to form small flowers. "I didn't know you could do this."

"It's not really something they teach you in training here," she said.

Eren glanced up at her to see a small smile on her lips. "I would hope not, I'm pretty sure I really would get kicked out if that was the case." He looked down at the fabric again. It was so simple but so delicate; it was like being brought back to his old home where seeing something like this wouldn't have been out of place among his mom's things. A sharp pain passed through his chest as he handed it back to Mikasa.

"How'd you learn?" The question was out before he could really think about what he was asking. If she didn't learn here and didn't learn from his own mother then there was only one person who could have taught her.

"My mom taught me," she said without hesitation though her voice was a little lighter than normal. Her eyes dropped down to the fabric she was absent mindedly running her hands over. "She used to do it all the time. I thought her designs were the most beautiful things in the world. I begged her to teach me but she wouldn't, she was too afraid I'd prick myself with a needle."

Eren watched her carefully as he sat in his chair. It was the most she ever talked about her mother since the night she was killed. Eren didn't even know Mikasa's parent's names; he never asked her about it either knowing it probably wasn't something she wanted to talk about. Though, it also made him realize he knew nothing about her childhood before he met her.

"Did you?" he asked carefully, not wanting to push her but wanting to keep with the conversation.

She nodded with a small laugh. "I dropped the whole thing and bled on it. I was devastated but my mom got me a fresh piece of fabric and a bandage and we kept going." She paused for a moment seemingly lost in her own memories. "I found this room earlier today and found some old remnants of embroidery work. I just thought it would be relaxing to do it again."

"I wondered where you were all day. I couldn't find you anywhere."

She glanced up at him, and he couldn't quite tell but it looked like her cheeks had gotten a little red. "You were looking for me?"

He shrugged leaning back in his chair. "Yeah, Armin was reading and everyone else was being loud so I went to go see where you had wandered off to." He decided to leave out that he had been worried about her too.

She nodded looking back down into her lap and running a finger over one of the flowers she had sewed in. "Your mom taught me this one."

Eren's body jolted at the mention of his own mother. "She what?"

Mikasa held up the fabric again. "This was her design, she taught it to me when we lived together."

That's why it looked familiar, he saw it before. "I didn't know you did that with her too."

"It was normally when you were asleep. Sometimes she would find me still awake or she'd get to me before I..um..got to you in the middle of the night. She'd take me downstairs and sew with me until I fell asleep." Mikasa got that distant look in her eyes, like she had when she was talking about her own mother; it made Eren's heart ache.

Yeah, he lost his mom in front of his eyes and his dad was nowhere to be found but Mikasa, not only did she watch her mom and dad die, she watched his mom die who was like another mom to her from the moment Eren tugged her into his home. Mikasa had lost so much, and she was still the strongest person he knew.

Talking about the past probably wouldn't help, as much as Eren would've loved to know how Mikasa was as a wide eyed little girl; probably much more gentle than he was as a kid. Instead, he leaned over closer to her. "You gonna teach me how to sew?"

Mikasa looked like she was about to laugh. "You want to learn how to sew?"

"I figure if you sat here all day in peace doing it then why not."

She gave him one of her small but genuine smiles as she tucked the needle into the fabric. "Maybe next time, we should probably go back before we get in trouble."

Yeah, Shadis wasn't exactly the most forgiving instructor in the world. Eren pushed himself to his feet while Mikasa tucked the fabric into her pocket. He followed her the short distance to the floor, only then remembering why he came in here in the first place.

"Hey," he said as he held the door open for Mikasa. "What were you humming earlier? It sounded so familiar."

Mikasa looked up to him while they started down the hallway back to the mess hall. "Oh, um, it was something my mom used to hum to me when I couldn't sleep."

"Huh," Eren said, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. "I wonder how I knew it then. It just sounded so familiar, like a dream or something." It seemed kinda stupid now, but he had heard it before somewhere though he was pretty sure he never remembered Mikasa humming it before. Granted, her voice humming it was what triggered the familiar feelings.

"O-oh," she said her voice not as firm as usual as she looked at anywhere but at him. "I don't know."

Eren shrugged as they walked in silence. He almost heard the soft notes in his head, a warm comforting feeling in the pit of his stomach, soft hands running though his hair as the song went on until he was asleep again, nightmares not haunting him anymore. He wondered if it was a dream he was remembering; after all he figured he could only feel that peaceful in a dream.

He shook his head as they approached the mess hall which they heard before they even saw the door; he was thinking too much about it. He looked over to Mikasa who was reaching her hand up to tuck some of her hair behind her ear in a motion that seemed oddly familiar in that moment.

Still, he hoped that maybe he'd have that dream again.


	84. I Belong With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Belong With You
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post series; The first time they see the ocean  
> Words: 1717  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon asked for them finally reaching the ocean and Eren confessing how he felt to Mikasa. I realized that I never actually have written my brot3 going to see the ocean for the first so of course I had to do it. It's pretty sappy but when is something I write not? Lmao Title is from "Hey Ho" by the Lumineers.

It was more beautiful than Eren could've ever imagined. The way the waves rhythmically crashed against the beach, the way the sun shone down on the water making it shine so bright he nearly had to shade his eyes, the way the sand was so soft underneath his feet, the salty air that blew over his body as he stood in front of the ocean for the first time, but most of he loved the way it looked like he could see forever beyond the horizon on the water. For the first time since the battle had ended, he actually felt like he was free now.

"How do you like it?" Armin asked, stopping to stand next to Eren.

"You were right all these years weren't you," Eren said, glancing over to his old friend. Armin was the same height now, with longer hair he kept tied back. His eyes were staring out over the ocean and there was a smile on his face that Eren hadn't seen in a very long time.

"Even I didn't know if the books were wrong, they were very old after all but we would've never known if we didn't try."

Try they did. It had been at least a year since the monarchy was over thrown exposing the secrets they needed to finally end the need for the walls. Because of the sudden importance the Scouting Legion now held to the remainder of the military, they couldn't get away to actually start exploring this new world open to them. It took a year for Levi to finally give them a little bit of vacation time, as long as they promised to actually come back. Eren didn't find it too hard to promise, after all, their new jobs in the military would be to explore and map out the world. They'd get to live their dreams, but first they had to live out a dream the three of them had together.

It had taken a while to actually hunt down the huge body of water they longed to see but Armin worked it out and they managed to find a beach that seemed to extend for as far as the eye could see. They made camp up away from the sand cause Armin said something about tides coming and going, and decided to spend a few days just enjoying the sight.

"Where's Mikasa?" Armin asked, his eyes still watching the sparkling waves.

"Over there," Eren nodded off to his side. She was standing closer to the water than he was, the wind blowing her longer hair and her simple dress as the water rolled over her bare feet.

"She doing okay?"

Eren nodded, a smile pulling at his lips as he watched her. "Yeah, she's fine. I don't think I've ever seen her smile as much as she has recently."

"I could think of a situation that would probably have her smiling more."

Eren looked over to Armin who was looking very amused and smug. "Armin."

"Oh, come on, what are you waiting for?" Armin arched an eyebrow at him. "You've made plenty of excuses over the years, you know. 'We could die, that's not fair to her', 'We're too busy, the Scouting Legion needs us', 'There's no time right now', and excuse after excuse. What's the excuse this time? And don't say it's because we have to go back to work after this year is up because you're both senior officers, no one, Levi included, is gonna care if you have some personal happiness for once."

Eren shrugged. "I dunno."

"I think you do."

Eren shoved his shoulder into Armin's but the blond only laughed. "What's your problem, why're you pushing it so hard," he murmured.

"Because I'm tired of not seeing you two idiots happy. I've been watching you together since we were kids; there is no one else for either of you but each other. I understood while we were fighting, I did, but we're free now. It's about time you made yourself and her happy. What's the big deal anyway? You two practically live together already."

Eren kicked a bit of sand by his feet. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about it every day since they didn't have to live their days in fear of being killed at any moment. He even tried to tell her a few times, but he always chickened out when he saw her eyes looking back at him. "Who says she even feels the same way?"

"Everyone who has ever seen the way she still looks at you. From nine years old to twenty years old that look of love and devotion she has when she looks at you has never gone away." Armin nudged him in her direction. "Go make sure it never does."

Eren decided it probably wasn't best to keep arguing with Armin, it wouldn't get him anywhere but still on the same path walking to where Mikasa was standing. The water rolled in, running over his feet as went to stand next to her; where they once stood shoulder to shoulder, Eren had grown taller where Mikasa had stayed the same. It was still always a bit strange having to look down to her.

"Hey," he said, clearing his throat and shoving his stupid shaking hands in his pants pockets.

"Hi," Mikasa answered in her usual soft tone, but it was so much lighter these days. She glanced up to him. "What were you and Armin talking about?"

And she was still as observant as ever. "Nothing," Eren shrugged. "Just taking about what we wanted to do for dinner."

A smile pulled across her lips as she watched him. "You're lying."

"I am not," he snorted even though he was.

"You are. Your right eye twitches when you lie."

Eren had to laugh; only Mikasa would know something like that about him. "Alright, you got me. We were talking about…" He hesitated for a moment, trying to ignore the way his heart rate started to race. "What we're gonna do when we get back."

Mikasa nodded, her eyes still watching him. "What are you planning?"

He didn't miss that she just asked about him. "Well, go back to work for as long as they still need us there."

Her forehead furrowed. "As long as they need us? I always thought you'd stay in the military for life."

Eren always assumed so too, but sometimes things change. "I mean, yeah, I always wanted to be in the Scouting Legion, but I was and I am, we also defeated the people behind the Titans. All my goals that I wanted for us are finished. Well, save for one."

"What's that?"

His heart was pounding in his chest as he looked back out over the ocean but Armin was right. Eren spent so much of his life putting himself in danger or the good of humanity; it was about time he deserved to be happy too, really happy, and to make the one person he loved most in the world happy too. "I want a house. Not the military housing we all live in now, but a real house, somewhere outside the walls."

Mikasa didn't do such a good job hiding her surprise. She was the one who always talked about wanting a nice, safe home somewhere not him, but he learned that what would make her happy, would make him happy as long as she was there. "Who'd be there?" Her voice was breathless.

Eren didn't even have to hesitate when he looked down at her again. "You."

"And Armin?" She looked hesitant, like she wasn't quite sure what he was asking.

Eren almost heard Armin's voice laughing telling him to be a little more direct than that. "I mean, he could but…" Eren reached out to grab a hold of her waist, pulling her against him. "He might find it a little crowded."

Her eyes were wide as she looked up at him, her hands falling against his chest. He must've really caught her off guard because her mouth kept opening like she was going to say something but then would close again when nothing came out.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, reaching up to brush some of her hair out of her face that the wind had blown. "I'm sorry, Mikasa. I was terrified to tell you when we were fighting. How could I do that to you when I very well could have died the very next day? I should've told you when we were free, but then everything was so hectic and no time ever seemed right. I should've told you long before today, but I was afraid after all this time I lost my chance to tell you how much I love you, how much I've always loved you."

Mikasa leaned her head into his hand which was still lingering on her cheek. "You're the only person I've ever loved, that's never changed. It never will."

A particularly harsh wave crashed down near them, causing water to rush around their legs, soaking the lower parts of Eren's pants but he didn't care. All that mattered was that he leaned into the girl who was always by his side, the one who always believed in him, who never doubted him and his humanity, to kiss her, and she was kissing him back. Her hands reached up around his neck, pulling herself closer to him as he wrapped his arms around her back.

Finally, Eren understood why Armin was pushing so hard to just tell her. It was like there was a part of Eren was finally filled, the part that ached late at night when he was laying alone in bed but this, being with her, it was like breathing.

He leaned his forehead against hers; her eyes were closed, but he still felt her warm breath on his lips. "My dreams are complete, but they never would've been without you. I want to make your dreams come true too."

She looked up at him, her eyes bright and that soft smile he loved seeing on her face. "Eren." She reached up her hand to touch his cheek. "You already have."

He didn't hesitate to kiss her again, and he was pretty sure he never would.


	85. God Knows We're Worth It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God Knows We're Worth It
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series; Still in the military  
> Words: 2255  
> Rating: T (Language)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Anon asked for Eren trying to tell Mikasa how he felt but not being able to do it so he just said screw it and kissed her. It was so Eren I adored it. What a little dork, I love him so much. Title is from "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz.
> 
> I got an anon message me who said they had an awful week and asked if I could cheer them up with a post. So this one is for you, anon. I hope it makes you smile a little <3

Eren was gonna do it, he was finally just gonna do it. He was gonna go right up to Mikasa and tell her exactly how he felt about her. He was gonna knock right on her door to wake her up and tell her right away. He was gonna knock on the door…knock on the door…Goddammit.

With a groan, Eren dropped his hand from Mikasa's door and shoved his hands in his pockets, walking away. Well, that didn't last long. He had been at this for what felt like weeks now; every time he got enough courage up to finally tell the girl he knew for so long that he was in love with her he completely chickened out. He helped saved the world from Titans for God's sake, but he couldn't tell one girl how he felt about her. What he really wanted to do was hit his head against the wall, but he walked out of the newly built military housing and outside onto the dirt path leading the base that was still under renovations to expand. All of this was still pretty new, but now that the Scouting Legion actually had a job that wouldn't get them all killed all the time, they finally had some money to build a real base.

He kicked a few rocks on the path as he made his way to the mess hall to get some breakfast. The sun wasn't even up yet but that's what he got for trying to get up before Mikasa. Eren groaned again; yeah, that obviously went so well. He just wanted to go back to bed now, just wake up a little later and try to start the day over.

The sounds of the workers on the nearby buildings were kinda loud but generally the base was already up and moving at this time of the morning. He had no idea why he got so nervous every single time he tried to talk to her about it. It was Mikasa, he knew her since they were nine years old, she was one of his oldest friends, he knew her better than he knew himself so what was so damn hard about just telling her how he felt?

It wasn't because he was afraid she wouldn't feel the same way, well, it was at first but Armin nearly beat him when Eren asked what if she didn't? He was pretty sure she did to some degree at least; she wouldn't have put up with his dumbass for this long if he didn't. It was just, she was always by his side, for as long as he could remember and he wanted to make her happy, to make her smile all the time , to give her everything she wanted, everything she gave up to follow him to the end of the world and back. They were free now, he wasn't gonna die at any moment and leave her alone with nothing, he could finally let her know how much he always loved her.

Eren just didn't know how hard actually telling her that was gonna be.

He pushed open the mess hall doors seeing barely anyone there yet, just a handful of people munching down some food and sipping on some coffee. Thankfully, he did see the only person who got up before Mikasa sitting at one of the tables.

"Morning," Eren grunted, throwing himself down in the chair across from Armin.

Armin looked up from his breakfast, arching an eyebrow. "What're you doing up so early? Normally you aren't awake till the very last minute you can."

"I wish I was back in bed right now," he sighed, propping his head up on his hand, elbow balancing on the table. "But it would take far more time to take this uniform off and put it back on than it was worth."

"Why were you up this early then?"

Eren grunted again stuck between wanting to ask Armin for advice and not wanting to hear Armin's advice. "I went to see if Mikasa was up." There, that was subtle enough.

Armin leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "And she wasn't?"

Dammit. "I, uh, I'm not sure. I didn't actually…see her."

"So you got up early to see if Mikasa was awake but you didn't actually go to see if she was awake or not?"

"I went," Eren said. "I just…didn't knock on her door." He expected Armin to have quite a few words for Eren, mainly about how stupid he was acting over nothing really what he didn't expect was for Armin to start laughing.

"You're being so ridiculous, do you know that?" Armin said in between his laughter.

"Yes, I realize that, you ass," Eren rolled his eyes, trying to ignore his other oldest friend's laughter.

"Alright, alright," Armin said wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry, what seems to be the problem?"

Eren half wanted to just get up and walk away to spite Armin for laughing but Eren also really did need a better approach to what he was trying to do because obviously that wasn't working. "I dunno, every time I try to tell Mikasa how I feel I just know what I want to say and how to say it, but when it comes down to it I always back out. I didn't even have to look at her this morning and I chickened out."

Armin nodded, leaning up against the table. "What you need to do is figure out what's scaring you about telling her because obviously something is."

"I'm not scared of anything, its Mikasa. I talk to her every single day."

"Eren, there's a reason you kept walking away instead of just telling her. Are you afraid she is gonna turn you down or not feel the same way?"

He shrugged. "Maybe, I mean, I probably blew my chances a thousand times over by now." Great, now he actually was worrying about that.

"Trust me, Eren, that's not the case," Armin said. "Not with Mikasa. Are you nervous about talking to her, actually voicing what you wouldn't tell anyone for God knows how many years?"

Well, that sounded a bit more likely. "I mean, I'm not very good with words; that's always been you. Whenever I think about what to tell her, I know what I want to say but then it all leaves my head and I end up just gaping at her instead. It's awful, it's like…like…"

"Like you hate not being able to talk to her?"

"Yes," Eren breathed, feeling a bit of relief in his chest. "It's awful. I can always talk to her about everything and the fact I get so choked up every time is so frustrating."

Armin was quiet for a moment as he watched Eren. "You need to stop worrying about what it sounds like when you say it. It doesn't have to be some super romantic gesture, I mean, this is Mikasa, she won't want that. She'll just want you, something that comes from your heart. Stop overthinking it and just tell her."

Eren knew Armin was right, he always damn was. "Alright."

"She's walking over right now so you better do it this morning." Armin was already picking up the rest of his breakfast and standing up.

Eren looked over and sure enough, Mikasa was holding the door for a few other people leaving the mess hall; his heart started to race again.

"So get it out and get on with your lives for once."

"Armin," Eren hissed but the blond was already waving, that stupid smile on his lips.

"Hey, Mikasa," Armin said as he walked by her, heading right out the Goddamn door.

Mikasa looked a little confused when she looked over to Eren. "Where was he off to?"

"Dunno," Eren said, standing up so quickly he nearly tipped his chair over. "Uh, good morning. Sleep okay?"

Mikasa was now looking at him a little strangely. "Good morning, and yes it was fine. You?"

"Yeah, yeah, it was good. Do you wanna…?" Eren gestured to the front door; if he was gonna do this he wasn't gonna do it in the mess hall where people could just walk in at any time.

"Okay," Mikasa said but she still was looking a little confused. Regardless she followed him outside into the brisk morning air. The sun was still down but it was getting brighter out, which meant it would be time to start the work day soon.

If he was gonna do this he had to do it before they got split up for different jobs today. Armin was right, Eren had to do it so he'd stop dwelling on it.

"Alright," Mikasa said, looking up at him as they walked. "What's going on with you?"

"Heh?" Eren asked though his heart was in his throat.

"You've been acting strange for the past few weeks."

Eren wanted to hit himself; she had noticed his previous and very failed attempts. He didn't even know what to say so he just kept he walking down the path, the one that lead them back towards the housing area where hopefully wouldn't be too crowded with people. He saw Mikasa reach up to press a hand to his forehead. "Mikasa," he sighed, taking her hand in his to pull it away from his face. "I'm not sick."

Mikasa didn't say anything but when he looked down at her she was biting at her lower lip, dark eyes watching him. He knew that look, he knew it all too well; she was worried about him.

Jesus, he really was bad at this.

"Okay." Using the hand he was still holding he pulled her off the path and into the center of the housing area. Some gardens were planted but they weren't fully grown yet, but there were a few benches surrounded by some trees and there wasn't anyone there.

He sat down and Mikasa followed suit, looking more worried than ever. "Don't worry," he said knowing how her mind worked. "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine, I promise."

"Then what's been bothering you?"

This was it. He had to tell her. He knew if he told her it was nothing again she was just gonna get upset that he was keeping things from her and he didn't want that, not when he wanted to tell. He wasn't trying to push her away, it was completely the opposite.

"It's just…I just…" Eren felt his heart start to race, his hands getting clammy in his lap. He swallowed thickly. He knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, both inside and out, that there wasn't a single day he wanted to spend his life without her, that he always wanted to be by side, that he had loved her for years and years and he would always love her. "You…you know…I…"

He just wanted to scream but he couldn't stop dam stuttering out his words; everything was jumbled in his head when he went to say them. Why was this so hard? He could talk to her about anything why was telling her that he loved her so Goddamn hard?

"Eren." Her voice was soft and soothing; it started to calm his pounding heart and clear his cloudy mind.

He looked over to her as he felt his hand reach out to his cheek, her eyes shining with concern.

"What's the matter?"

This was her, this was Mikasa. No matter how many times he fucked up, no matter how many times he hurt her, no matter how many times he didn't deserve to be near her she was always still right there always picking him back up on his feet. There was no one more he loved more, and he wanted her to know that. He needed her to know that.

"Oh, fuck it," he murmured as he reached both of his hands to her face and pulled her into him. He didn't stop until his lips were pressed to hers.

Mikasa gasped, probably out of complete shock but he felt her start to move her mouth carefully with his. Her hands reached out to balance herself against his chest as her body leaned into him.

Eren sighed, his heart rate finally coming down and his nerves almost completely leaving him. He pulled away from her but only slightly so he could look her in the eyes. God, she was gorgeous. "I love you," he murmured. "I'm sorry I never knew how to tell you or how to even show you properly, but I do. I do and I always have."

"Eren," she said in that soft tone he got to hear much more often these days with that light smile on her lips as she leaned her head into his touch. "I love you too."

It was simple. It was that simple. He felt like a weight was off his shoulders and he leaned in to kiss her again. This time she was a bit better prepared, her arms reaching up around his neck to pull herself closer to him.

Suddenly Eren couldn't remember why the hell he had been so nervous in the first place; looking back it was the stupidest thing ever. Now that it was off his chest, now that she knew, now that she was finally in his arms, he never understood why he even waited as long as he did.


	86. How Much Did We Lose to Live This Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Much Did We Lose to Live This Way
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 1407

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So artbybanky decided to send me a sad headcanon where Eren and Mikasa had trouble conceiving and how they would deal with that. See very sad ;-; but it got stuck in my head because I feel it's something that would probably be very likely with what they when through physically as children and through puberty. So it's a bit sadder than I normally write, but it's still me so it has bright aspects to it ^^ The title is "Antebellum" by Vienna Teng.

It was the sound of crying that woke Eren up instantly. For a moment he forgot where he was, that something bad had happened while he was asleep but when he opened his eyes it wasn't a damp cave or a creaky building, it was just his bedroom. It didn't stop his heart from racing though as he jumped out of bed; Mikasa didn't cry easily, something must've happened.

He walked across the cold, wooden floor of their bedroom to see Mikasa sitting on the bathroom floor, her face in her hands as she cried. His heart sunk at the sight; he never wanted to see her like this not when he promised himself he would always make her smile.

Eren moved into the bathroom, taking a seat on the floor next to Mikasa. She was half dressed, like she was trying to get ready for the day before she found herself on the ground. He reached over to pull her into his lap in one swift moment. Mikasa didn't speak or even stop crying but she curled into him, her face falling against his neck as her hands gripped onto his shirt.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, one hand rubbing her back while the other kept her close to him.

Mikasa didn't answer.

"C'mon, what's the matter?" Eren pressed a kiss to the top of her head, trying to comfort her. He had a sinking feeling to what had got her so upset but he didn't really want to think about it.

Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I started my cycle today."

It hit him like a blow to the gut even though it wasn't the first time she had to tell him that. He wanted to cry out in frustration and in hurt but he wasn't gonna do that to her. "It's okay," he said instead. "We'll keep trying."

"We have been trying," Mikasa cried though her voice was still soft. "For months now."

She didn't have to tell him. Eren knew exactly what Mikasa wanted when they left the military; she wanted a home and a family. The home he had managed easily enough, it was where they had lived for the past few years now after all but the family aspect was proving difficult.

He knew how much Mikasa wanted kids and he admittedly had reservations about it at first. What kinda father would he be when he didn't even have a father for most all his life? What if what was injected into him could be transferred to his children? How could he live with himself if he put them through what he had gone through? The thoughts alone were terrifying but Mikasa was the one who eased his mind on the matter. She had lost her parent's love at a very young age, just a little bit younger than when Eren lost the same things; their kids wouldn't have to go through that. They'd have parents who loved them and who would never leave them before they should; it was something he did want to give his children, a mother and father who loved them.

Mikasa was so happy when Eren asked her if she wanted to start to try to have children but now, months and months of trying later, it only left her crying on the bathroom floor. He had been through a lot in his life, but seeing his wife like this over something he should be able to provide for her was one of the worst things he had to watch.

"What if it's my fault?" Mikasa asked, reaching a hand up to rub her nose. "What if all the strain I put my body through when I was so young made it so I couldn't…" A small sob. "Couldn't carry children."

"We were children ourselves at the time, Mikasa." Eren tried to sound soothing but he knew his own voice was breaking. If that was the case, then it was still his fault; she would've never been through what she was if she never followed him. "You can't blame our choices from when we were children. Besides, we don't know that's why it's been so…difficult. It very well could be…" He swallowed thickly. "My fault."

Mikasa lifted her head and looked up at him for the first time this morning, her eyes wide. "Eren, no."

He reached a hand up to her face to brush away some of her tears. He would never deny he hadn't thought about it over and over again the past few months of Mikasa not getting pregnant. He saw the couples in town easily having more than one child even complaining that they found out they were pregnant again. It would make his blood boil, but also make his stomach sink; if it was so easy for those people, how come it wasn't easy for him and Mikasa? They were the ones who actually wanted children.

Eren had no idea what was injected into him God knows how many times when he was a kid. It gave him the ability to shift into a titan, to regenerate; who knew what kinda shit was done to his body. The whole thing very well could've left him sterile without him ever knowing it. He was an experiment, and with his father gone there was no one to tell him what was done to him and how that would affect his life from then on.

Mikasa, she was always a mother; always the one to take care of him and the others, to keep them safe. Now she really could be a mother in all the ways she had always longed for but he couldn't give that to her. He wanted to be a father now, a good father, but how could he be when he couldn't even conceive a child? It just was too bitterly unfair. Hadn't their lives been unfair enough?

"I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't give you what you want most in the world," he said, dropping his eyes from hers.

"Eren." It was her voice that was gentle this time, her hand reached up to her face to hold his hand that was still there, leaning her head into his touch. "You're what I want most in the world. Yes, I would love to have a family with you and to give our children the home that had been taken from us but, if it was just us for the rest of our lives? How could I be unhappy when I have you?"

Her lips were pressed against his the moment he looked up. Eren ran his fingers through her hairs as he kissed her back, sighing against her mouth. He kept his hands on her face even when she pulled away some to look at him again.

"I have Armin doing some research," Eren said, rubbing his thumb against her cheek when she gave him a confused look. "I didn't want to tell you in case he didn't find anything but he's looking in the walls to see if any doctors know of fertility options. I know you've been trying the herbal ones but maybe in the inner walls, doctors have medicine that would help us."

"The inner walls?" Mikasa asked. "Well, they might but it's probably going to be expensive."

"Yeah, probably, but for this I'd pull out the 'remember that time I helped save you all' card."

Mikasa let out a small laugh and it was like music to his ears

"I have money put away. We'll figure something out, okay? We aren't out of options yet."

"Okay," Mikasa nodded, looking a little in better spirits. She went to push herself to her feet but he pulled her back down against him. "Eren," she chuckled, a small smile brightening her eyes; there that was better.

"In the meantime though, I don't mind still trying."

"Good, that makes two of us," Mikasa murmured before pressing a kiss to his lips.

Eren held his hand against her back, keeping her close to him while he kissed her. He'd figure this out; he had to figure it out. While Mikasa's sentiments had been sweet, he knew a baby was what she really wanted and it was what he wanted too; a family with the woman he had loved for nearly his whole life.

He only wished he realized it earlier for both their sakes.


	87. For Better or Worse I Got You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Better or Worse I Got You
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: During the two month time skip  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 1882

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon requested Eren to go through some self-loathing and to have Mikasa comfort him through it in current chapters. I decided to do it in the very recent chapters cause we have so much great stuff to work with again! :D The title is from "I Got You" by Leona Lewis.

Things were better. For the first time in the longest time Eren felt like things were actually going the right way for himself and for the Scouting Legion. They were finally in preparations to go back to Shiganshina, they had new recruits, he could actually harden his titan body now, Historia was crowned queen and the people respected her. Everything was better, things were good. Eren knew he should feel happier than he di.

It was the nightmares like always. It seemed he couldn't even close his eyes anymore without seeing death, fear, and loss inside his head. A lot of times it was of his mom, her last moments still haunting him nearly ten years later. More recently he saw his dad too. Eren knew his father had a reason to do everything he did, and it was to help Eren be able to protect the people he loved. It was that one memory of the way his father died that wouldn't stop coming to him. It was at Eren's hand. Regardless of what his dad wanted, Eren killed him. He killed his father. How could anyone say he wasn't a monster?

Everyone told him it wasn't his fault and yeah, maybe it wasn't but it didn't make him feel any better about it. He tried to focus on doing what Historia wanted, traveling and rescuing the people who lived underground, bringing them somewhere safe. Eren agreed with it too of course; he went through it himself with Mikasa and Armin. He loved seeing the happy faces of all the kids who didn't have to be so afraid. Even all the good wouldn't take away the nightmares of the past, the fear of the future.

His eyes stared up at the ceiling of his room. He actually got his own room for once in the new base they were given to operate out of. The new recruits had to stay in some barracks but technically Eren was part of Levi's special ops team and got a few perks with that. Eren didn't know if it would be any better staying in a room with Armin, Connie, and Jean like he was used to. No matter what Eren did, the images in his head wouldn't go away. The searing guilt in the pit of his stomach wouldn't leave.

Did he even want to know what was in the basement anymore? What if it only led to more horrible things that he had done and couldn't remember? What if he only led more people he loved to their deaths? Eren shook his head and tried not to dwell on it. It wasn't his fault they told him, even Mikasa. She was the first to tell him when she found out what happened to his dad. Eren wondered if maybe that's just how she was, her first reaction always was to make sure he was okay before she worried about herself.

Eren was pretty sure he didn't deserve that. Not when it was his fault she lost two people who loved her like she was their own daughter. All the nightmares that must've caused her on top of the ones she already had. It had been a long time since she ever came to him in the middle of the night, broken and terrified. He wondered if maybe she stopped having nightmares. Eren doubt it; horrors like that didn't just go away. That he knew for a fact. It was more than likely she chose to suffer in silence, never wanting anyone to worry about her.

Maybe she was still awake. Eren didn't think he deserved to have her presence as a comfort. She was though, she always was. Sometimes he really wanted to go back and punch his younger self in the face for the way he treated her. He hurt her, that scar on her cheek always reminding him of the monster he was capable of being. He tried to make up for it these days by looking after her just like she always looked after him but he didn't know if there was anything he could do to make up for what he had done.

He sat up in his bed and kicked his feet over the side, pushing himself up to his feet. It wouldn't be so bad to check on her at least. Not like he could sleep anyway. He opened his door as quietly as he could and headed down the hallway that was pretty much just his squad. He knew which door was hers before he came to stand in front of it. A part of him wanted to knock, to let her know he was there but he also didn't want to wake her up if she was asleep. Eren hesitated for a moment before turning the handle on her door and slipping in. He closed it behind him and looked over to her bed. She was curled up on it, her back to him but he saw her sides rising and falling rhythmically through the moonlight shining in the window.

As quietly as he could, he walked over to sit on the edge of her bed. She still didn't move even as he looked over to where her face was. Her eyes were closed and she didn't look distressed or anything, just normal. Her scarf was still around her neck though. Not that it was too unusual, she slept like that sometimes. Eren tried to tell her not to in the past, that she might choke herself but sometimes Mikasa was just gonna do what she wanted to regardless. He rolled his eyes. Well, she was okay so he might as well just leave is what he told himself but he couldn't actually bring himself to do it.

Mikasa was always soothing, always comforting. She knew exactly how to calm him down, how to make him relax. Even just sitting here next to her he was already feeling himself unwind from the images that haunted his dreams previously in the night. He always felt safe with her. Eren hoped she still felt the same about him, like she did when they were kids. He reached his hand out to flip at the end of her scarf that was laying on the bed.

Funny how circumstances turn out. He chose the wrong day to fight with his mom, but he chose the right day to let his father drag him along to go see a patient. If Eren hadn't been there that day Mikasa wouldn't be the Mikasa he knew today, he didn't even know if she'd be alive or not. He wouldn't have her by his side, he wouldn't have one of his best friends. That innocent gesture of giving her his scarf came to be such a tie between them that she sometimes didn't even take it off in her sleep, like she always wanted to be close to him.

Yeah, he never wanted her to join this life, he wanted her to be safe somewhere not risking her life for him but she was still here. She was still with him. He wouldn't know what he'd do if he didn't have her by his side for all these years. Maybe he didn't do everything wrong.

"Eren?" Her sleepy voice made him jump. She was picking her head off her pillow, looking up at him with a mixture of still trying wake up and confusion. "What's going on?"

Fear was all of their first reactions he supposed. "Nothing. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

She shook her head and reached up to rub her eyes before she looked at him again. "Couldn't sleep?"

"No, not really," Eren shrugged. He flipped the end of the scarf he had been holding towards her. "How many times have I told you not to sleep in that."

Mikasa looked taken back for a moment. She ran her hand down the fabric around her neck. "I forgot I was wearing it."

Eren knew she was lying but he didn't press it. Her tell was in her eyes, he knew it every time she tried.

They were quiet for a moment, neither saying anything. Eren was staring down at the bed while Mikasa fiddled with her scarf. It seemed like it was ages ago since it was the last time they saw each other like this. What was he supposed to say?

"Was it nightmares?" her voice was soft, gentle; it was a tone only Eren heard from her.

He didn't look up but he nodded.

"Of the past?"

"And the future," he said. He glanced up to meet her eyes. "What're we doing, Mikasa? What if we find out everything we need to know and what if it's worse than we expect? What if everything we've done, all the people who were killed were killed in vain?" He swallowed a lump in his throat. "My mom, my dad, they died protecting us. What if we can't do the same? What if it wasn't worth their deaths?"

Mikasa watched him for a moment before kicking back some of her blankets. She gestured for him to come closer.

He almost didn't, he didn't deserve to be that close to her after what he had done. He did though; he slid up her bed till he was laying down on his side next to her. He took in a shaky breath when she moved to lay down next to him. She pulled his head down a little so it was closer to hers and reached her hand up to run through his hair.

"Your mother knew if we stayed a moment longer trying to save her we'd all die. She told us to leave so we'd have a life to live," Mikasa said, her voice soft. "Your father did what he did so that you'd be able to right the wrongs he might've gotten caught up in. He did it so you'd be strong enough to protect us which is what you've always done. They'd be proud of you, Eren." She paused. "I'm proud of you."

He reached his hand up to her back, pulling her warm body into him. His eyes closed to stop the sting of tears he felt.

Mikasa kept running her hand through his hair, soothing him more than she probably knew. "They will never have died in vain because we're still here and we're still fighting to make this the world they'd be proud to see."

He felt her lips press into his hair.

"You're not a monster." She held him close when he cried, whispering soothing words and giving gentle touches.

He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve this but as he held onto her until the tears and choked cries stopped, Eren didn't want it to be anyone else. She didn't look at him like he looked at himself; she only ever saw the good in him.

Maybe he needed to look at the good too.

It only took a moment of Eren being surrounded by her scent, her presence to know that was Mikasa. She was the good, she was the best thing he had. Someday he'd be able to show her that too, make her believe it. He had to.


	88. What Goes Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Goes Around
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series  
> Words: 1761  
> Rating: K+ (Slight SAexual Implications)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came to me at work one day, and suddenly had an immense desire to have Nicolas asked Mikasa where babies come from and much like her mother before her, she passes it off to Eren. I couldn't resist myself.

"Hey, Mom?" Nicolas' voice was a little muffled, like he was talking with his mouthful and knowing the eight year old, he probably was; Eren couldn't really see Nic and Carla in the kitchen with Mikasa from his spot at the desk in the living room though.

"Yes?" she answered.

"How'd the baby get in your belly?"

Eren glanced up from the report he was filling out for Armin.

Mikasa merely smiled placing one hand on her swollen stomach and the other reaching out and ruffle Nicolas' hair. "With lots of love." It was the typical response given whenever Nic asked when she was pregnant with Carla and when Carla asked now that Mikasa was pregnant again.

"Mom," Nicolas laughed. "You  _always_  say that."

Mikasa poured some more water into Carla's cup while the little girl munched intently on her sandwich. "That's because it's the truth."

Eren had to bite back a laugh. Well, it certainly was, that and a bit of hormones.

"No," Nicolas said sitting up more in his chair. "I wanna know how it actually happens. It's not like you know, one day you wake up and there's a baby right?"

When did that kid get so smart? Eren needed to stop letting Armin babysit.

"No," Mikasa said carefully, sitting down at the table next to Nicolas. "You know that. It's a long process that takes about nine months for the baby to grow till it's ready to be born."

Nicolas nodded. "I kinda remember before Carla was a baby but I wanna know how the baby got there to start to grow."

"Me too!" Carla exclaimed though she was still young enough that she was probably agreeing with Nicolas for the sake of agreeing as opposed to really caring to know the answer.

"Why so curious? Do you wanna have a baby?" Mikasa poked Nicolas in the sides making the boy laugh.

"No way! I like having baby sisters or brothers and  _I'm_ still saying it's a brother," he said, dropping his half eaten sandwich on his plate and turning to face his mom.

"Nic," Carla whined, her feet kicking against her chair. "I want a sister!"

"It can only be one, Carla," Nicolas said matter of fatly before looking back to Mikasa. "Uh, right?"

"Well," Mikasa said thoughtfully rubbing her stomach lightly. "It's not impossible to have twins, one boy and one girl."

Eren choked from his spot, completely giving away that he was listening in.

"Try not to give your dad a heart attack though." Mikasa said trying to hide her laughter while the kids just laughed aloud.

"Daddy," Carla squealed, clearly thinking that was the funniest thing she heard all day.

"We'd have to build a whole new house if that was the case," Eren said, leaning back in his chair; he already had to get a new addition built onto the house when Mikasa found out she was pregnant with their third child otherwise there weren't enough rooms to go around.

"How'd you know?" Carla asked. "If there were two babies and not just one?"

"The doctor would probably hear two heart beats I would assume, maybe he could feel two babies moving around, and if worse came to worse you'd know if two babies were born instead of one."

Carla giggled again biting back into her sandwich.

"But how'd the babies get there, whether there were two or one?" Nicolas was back to his original question though Eren had hoped the change of topic would make him forget. Apparently that boy had a one track mind.

"Why so curious today, Nicolas?" Mikasa asked. "You've never showed this much interest before other than were you having a sister or a brother."

Nicolas hesitated a typical sign that he got cornered in a question he didn't want to answer. At least Eren knew Nic was smart enough not to even attempt to lie to his mother. "Well," Nicolas started. "James said his parents told him it took two people to make a baby."

"James from school?" Mikasa asked to which Nicolas nodded. She sighed clearly knowing now Nic was the one cornering her. "James isn't wrong, it does take two people to make a baby."

"But how does it happen?"

Mikasa was quiet for a moment her hand still running over her stomach but Eren saw a small glint in her eyes, a smile pulling at her lips. She better not do what Eren thought she was about to do. "I think," Mikasa said. "That is a question better suited for your dad."

Nicolas looked over at Eren causing him to cut his glare at Mikasa short. "Dad?" Nic asked in that innocent voice of his. How the hell was Eren supposed to say no to that?

"Alright, go on," Eren sighed standing up from his desk and gesturing to the front door.

"But I wanna know too," Carla whined from the table.

"When you're older, sweetheart," Mikasa said, pushing herself to her feet.

"Much older," Eren said stopping in front of Mikasa as Nicolas took off to wait on the porch. "Glad this is so amusing," Eren mumbled to Mikasa.

She reached out to place her hands on his shoulders. "I'll get the next one," she smiled. "You don't have to tell him everything, just enough to satisfy the curiosity. I'm sure you can hold off on the actual talk for a few more years."

"Alright," he sighed but Mikasa leaned in to press her lips to his.

"I'm sorry," she murmured against him. "My mom did the same thing to my dad when I was Nic's age."

"Yeah, yeah." Eren put his hands on her waist as he kissed her again. "You're lucky I love you."

Mikasa laughed, hitting her hand against his shoulder. "Go on, we'll be fine in here."

"Alright." He stepped back towards the door before looking over to his daughter. "Carla, watch over your mama for me, okay?"

"Kay, Daddy." Carla waved as Eren walked out the front door.

Nicolas was sitting on the front steps looking out at the yard when Eren opened the door. Jesus, how was he supposed to talk to his eight year old son about sex without actually telling him about sex? Eren didn't think he'd have to do this quite yet.

"Okay," Eren said sitting down next to his son. "So you wanna know how babies are made, huh?"

"Yeah," Nicolas said. "I have a baby sister and another baby sister or brother but I dunno how they got here but for being in Mom's belly."

"That's where you and your siblings grew like your mom said," Eren nodded. "As for how babies get there you were on the right track. It does take two people, a mom and a dad. The baby grows in the mom's belly but a dad has to be there for the baby to get…" He thought "conceived" was a bit too much. "Made."

Nicolas looked up at Eren, forehead scrunched. "But how does a baby get made? What does a dad do? What'd you do, Dad? Must've been something, there's three of us."

Eren nearly snorted; he made a mental note to bring this conversation back up when Nicolas was sixteen. "Well." Eren rubbed his hands together absent mindedly as he tried to figure out how to phrase this. "You know how boys and girls have different bodies, right?"

Nicolas nodded. "Girls have boobies." That brought on a giggle fit.

"Girls have boobies," Eren repeated with a smile and shake of his head. "That's true enough but those different parts work together to make a baby which is why you can't have a baby without a mom and a dad."

Nicolas looked like he was trying to work it out in his head but Eren hoped that explanation would do it. He didn't really want to explain much more than that.

"Simple as that?" Nicolas asked.

Leaving out the graphic details of what sex actually was and that, yeah, that's how you intentionally made a baby but it's also how you spent quality and a pleasurable time with the woman you loved and could sometimes result in making a baby when you weren't trying to like the newest addition to the Jaeger family, more or less Eren's explanation was right on.

"Simple as that," Eren said.

Nicolas didn't look convinced and Eren really had to get Armin to stop babysitting.

"How about you ask me that again in about six years?" Eren reached over to ruffle Nic's hair before pushing himself to his feet; it really was all Nic needed to know about at this point. The talk could come later when it would actually make sense to him.

"Aww, Dad," Nicolas groaned but he must've known he wasn't getting anything else outta Eren.

"I answered your question didn't I?"

"Well, yeah…"

"Then come back inside and finish your sandwich."

Nicolas stood to his feet, though a bit dramatically and scurried in through the door, back to his seat at the table with Eren following behind.

"Did you get your answer, Nicolas?" Mikasa asked. She was sitting down on the couch with Carla's head in her lap, the little girl sound asleep; she must've tired herself out.

Nicolas nodded. "Yeah, but Dad said I had to ask again when I was older."

"Or," Eren said, sitting down next to Mikasa and placing an arm around her shoulder. "You can ask your Uncle Armin."

"Do you think he'd tell me more?" Nicolas' face brightened up.

"Eren," Mikasa mumbled, moving to hit her hand against his chest though he caught it before she could. She was laughing; she must've pictured Armin's face at the question. "You know he'd probably tell stories about…" Her voice dropped down. "Us as examples for payback."

"You know, Nic, probably not," Eren cleared his throat.

Nicolas munched on his sandwich defeated but he didn't object this time.

"When did he start growing up so fast?" Eren sighed, leaning his head back against the couch.

"It's what kids do," Mikasa gave him a warm smile, rubbing her hand against his leg. "You'll be giving him the real talk before you know it."

Eren had to resist a groan; he didn't think he was ready for that thought. He put in hand on Mikasa's belly though it was a little too early to feel the baby move often. He leaned down so his face was close to her stomach. "Baby, I sincerely hope you're a girl."

Mikasa did hit him in the chest that time.


	89. I Only Wish I Had the Strength to Let it Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Only Wish I Had the Strength to Let it Show
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa & Connie/Sasha (if you please ;3)  
> Setting: Modern AU; High school  
> Rating: T (Language and Sexual Implications)  
> Words: 2555

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally inspired by a comment left by artbybanky who thought Sasha would go about different ways to get Eren and Mikasa together and finally just get fed up and have to do something a bit more drastic because damn they take too long. The title is from "Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore" by REO Speedwagon.

Sasha loved Mikasa, she did. Mikasa was Sasha's best friend for years now; they spent so many sleepovers together, so many secrets, so many poor received make overs, so many nights laughing till their stomachs hurt but Sasha told it like it was. Sasha loved Mikasa, but Mikasa needed to man up and grow some for once. In all those years, Sasha flittered around which boys were cute, who she'd kiss who she'd never go near but Mikasa never changed, there was always only one boy on her mind.

Granted, Sasha couldn't blame her; Mikasa had a gorgeous neighbor. Eren might've been a little scrawny thing when he was growing up, though Mikasa never seemed to mind, by the time they hit their upperclassman years puberty had done him well. He grew into that body of his, turquoise eyes bright against his naturally tanned skin and messy brown hair. He might not have been Sasha's type but she could appreciate. Mikasa was the one who was smitten and hard but refused to actually make a move.

Okay, so they were childhood friends, Sasha got that but it was getting ridiculous. Mikasa was too afraid that telling Eren would ruin their friendship, that he only ever saw her as his friend next door. She didn't seem to notice the way he turned down plenty of prospective dates to hang out with her instead.

Scratch that, that  _both_ were ridiculous. Sasha knew she had to do something or they were gonna drive her insane. She started out small, leaving bits of make up in Mikasa's bathroom that suited her complexion perfectly in Sasha's humble opinion. She moved from there to shopping for the cutest outfits for Mikasa's petite but very fit form and passed them off to her saying Sasha just found them in her room and didn't want them anymore.

Honestly, it was genius if anyone asked Sasha. She watched Mikasa start to dress up just a bit more and watched the way Eren's eyes only saw her on any given moment of the day. Sasha didn't mind because she was positive Eren liked Mikasa in no makeup and sweatpants (no, really, Sahsa watch him flirt with Mikasa right when she rolled outta the bed before). Sasha was just trying to get them to make a move already, but how dense could these two be? She even purposely left out Mikasa's laciest bra and panties very visibly in her room when Sasha knew Eren was coming over but still nothing! It was outrageous; normal people would be all over each other by now but no, these two still hadn't even kissed yet.

Sasha needed to up her game, and she knew exactly how to do it. It was just so handy Eren literally lived a house away. She grinned as she stared out Mikasa's open window, seeing the light still on in Eren's room right across from hers. Jesus, they were cliché weren't they?

"Sasha, what're you doing?" Mikasa asked, walking into her bedroom but leaving the door open; the handle was broke so it would've locked them in if it closed.

Sasha looked up to see Mikasa had changed into a simple spaghetti strap tank top and short shorts obviously ready for bed. Well, it was a start but Sasha could do better. "Enjoying the summer air," Sasha smiled, already dressed in her pjs.

Mikasa arched an eyebrow but sat down on her bed without another question.

"So," Sasha stood up walking over to Mikasa's bed in the center of the room. "When're your parents coming home?"

Mikasa laid back, her head hitting her pillow. "Almost a week. They're on vacation after all. My mom cooked plenty of food before she left if that was your way of asking is there food."

Sasha shook her head though she was glad she knew that now. "I was just thinking maybe we should invite a certain boy next door over for a bit."

Mikasa's cheeks flushed red. "I don't know, it's late he's probably asleep." She sat up, pulling her legs up to her chest; she'd look cute if Sasha hadn't seen her make the same excuses for years now.

"His light is still on."

"Sasha," Mikasa sighed, resting her chin on her knees. "Who says he'd even want to come over?"

"Well, me for one," Sasha said. "But you'll never know if you don't ask."

Mikasa bit at her lip. "I don't know…"

Sasha plopped down on the bed. "What's the worst that could happen? He says, 'nah, I can't'. No harm, no foul."

Mikasa still looked unsure which really wasn't much of a surprise.

"C'mon," Sasha nudged Mikasa with a foot. "Your parents aren't home to send him home at a 'reasonable' hour. It's just us, we can all hang out. I know you want him here, don't deny it."

"Okay fine." Mikasa reached for her phone with a shaky hand. "But drop it if he says no."

Sasha raised her pointer and middle fingers. "Scout's honor."

Mikasa pressed Eren's number and held the phone to her ear. "You got kicked out of the Girl's Scouts."

"Details." Sasha waved it off.

Mikasa opened her mouth to say something but judging by the way her eyes lit up Eren must've answered. "Hey, I'm sorry did I wake you?" There was a pause. "Oh nothing, Sasha's here and we thought we'd see if maybe you wanted to come over and hang out?" She stopped for his answer. "No, they're on some tropical island somewhere." Another pause. "Oh, okay, well, we'll see you soon." There was that bright smile as she hung up the phone call.

"I told you so," Sasha sing-songed.

Mikasa reached out to kick Sasha but she had already jumped off the bed and headed to Mikasa's drawers. Phase I was complete; it was time to amp it up.

"What're you doing?" Mikasa asked but Sasha kept digging till she found the perfect bra; a dark lacy one with just the right umpf. She was pretty sure she forced Mikasa to buy it.

Sasha tossed the bra at Mikasa. "Wear this one and…" She dug through the drawer again before throwing the matching panties too.

"It's not like I'm gonna sleep with him," Mikasa mumbled, her face red as she held the set limply in her fingers.

"You've known each other long enough I wouldn't judge. Go on and get changed its just for show, relax."

Mikasa sighed but she slipped into the bathroom to change.

So far so good, Sasha smirked to herself. Now if the rest of the night cooperated she'd never have to deal with those two's ridiculous sexual again. "Do I need to let him in?" Sasha called to the bathroom door.

"No, he knows where the spare key is."

"Are you telling me he knows how to get in here at any time and you two still haven't slept together?"

Mikasa popped her head out of the bathroom door. "Sasha, knock it off. He's my best friend not my fuck buddy."

"Yeah, you'd rather him be both at the same time."

"Will you shut up? He'll be here soon." Mikasa plopped back down on her bed, fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of her top.

The bra looked much better and the lace could be seen poking out from under Mikasa's tank top. Oh yeah, she was good; Eren was gonna be drooling over Mikasa. Granted, Sahsa didn't have to do too much since Eren was already smitten with Mikasa even if she didn't know it.

"Knock, Knock. Sorry I didn't bring my pillow to have a pillow fight or anything."

Sasha turned to see the boy in question standing in the doorway. He was grinning though, his eyes were more on Mikasa than Sasha but that was perfectly fine. "It's okay," Sasha said. "You don't have the right attire anyway. You're pajama pants aren't booty short enough and your tank isn't booby enough."

"God, here I thought I came appropriately dressed."

"You can borrow mine," Mikasa said, looking like she was trying not to laugh.

"Mikasa," Eren said walking into sit down on the edge of the bed. "I'm pretty sure I'd Hulk outta any of your clothes.

Mikasa did laugh this time and because she did she missed the way Eren's face lit up at her laughter. Those dorks. Sasha'd kill them if she didn't love them so much.

"So what were you guys up to before you decided to make this a block party?" Eren asked, kicking his feet up on the bed.

"We were just hanging out," Mikasa shrugged. "Are you hungry? My mom left plenty of food."

"As much as I love your mom's cooking, I'm okay, thanks."

"We could put on a movie?" Mikasa suggested, gesturing towards the TV. "Your choice."

"My choice?" Eren rubbed his hands together. "Alright." He stood up and went over to the stack of movies she kept in her room.

Phase III was ready to begin now but Sasha would need a little bit of help. She grabbed her phone off the window sill where she had been sitting and scrolled down till she saw Connie's number. She sat down on the window seat while Eren still searched for a movie. Sasha hadn't planned on the movie choice but it worked right into her hand.

_To: Baldy_

_Hey, I need you to call me._

"Eren, can you hurry up?" Sasha said, dropping her phone in her lap. "It's not like you ever pick anything new."

He turned to face her. "Did you invite me over just to yell at me?"

"Maybe." Sasha's phone buzzed.

_Why? Are you okay,_ flashed across her screen.

_Oh yeah, I'm fine but I need a reason to lock Eren and Mikasa in her room._

"Got it!" Eren said pulling a movie from the stack.

Sasha squinted at the movie in his hand. "Haven't you seen that a million times?"

Eren shrugged, flipping on the TV and popping the DVD in. "Yeah, cause it's great and besides I always with it with Mikasa. I thought it was appropriate."

Sasha didn't even know it was possible to be so cheesy but whatever, Mikasa was smiling over it.

_Do I want to know?_ Connie's text buzzed back.

_Nope! Call please._

Eren sat back down on the bed next to Mikasa just as Sasha's phone rang.

"Hey!" she exclaimed jumping up to her feet. "What're you up to?"

"Sash, are you drunk?" Connie sounded like he was laughing.

"That sounds fun." Sasha pulled the phone away from her ear and gestured towards the door. "I'm just hanging out at Mikasa's for the night." Sasha grabbed a hold of the door as she walked by. "Her parents are on some tropical getaway."

"Sasha! The door!" Mikasa shouted as the door slammed shut.

"What is going on?" Connie's voice asked. "Are you sure you aren't drunk?"

"I'll tell you in a sec," Sasha murmured before looking back to the closed door, her master plan. "Shit, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay," Mikasa said. "Can you get the pick? My dad keeps it in the kitchen."

"Of course! Be right back!" Sasha walked towards the stairs waiting till she was out of earshot. "Connie?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry, Mikasa's door is broken so it if shuts it clicks locked and you have to jimmy it loose with this one tool."

"So you shut the door and locked her in?"

"Them." Sasha flicked on the kitchen light. "Eren's with her."

"So you locked them in her room for what reason exactly?" Connie was laughing this time.

She opened the tool drawer and pulled out the pick before jumping up on the counter to sit. "To force them to make a move! Those two tiptoe around their feelings so much so I thought locking them in their room with her parents in another country would make one of them grow some balls."

"What if they just tiptoe around it more?"

Sasha opened the cabinet near her head. "I made Mikasa wear a killer bra."

"That might help."

"I know right?" She grabbed a bag of chips, the pick, and jumped of the counter. She tossed the items on the living room coffee table before heading back towards the stairs.

"What happens when they think you're just coming back with the pick so they…oh, you aren't telling them you found right."

"Bingo." Sasha knocked on the door. "Mikasa, I'm so sorry, I couldn't find it."

"In the drawer, it's in the drawer." Mikasa's voice was a little strangled.

"That's where I looked, and the other drawers and the whole kitchen."

The room was silent.

"I'll go check again but if I don't find it I'll just watch TV downstairs and sleep on the couch, okay? I'll look in the morning with fresh eyes. You two okay with that?"

Eren cleared his throat. "Yeah, its fine. Thanks for trying, Sasha."

"You should be ashamed of yourself," Connie snorted.

"No problem. Sleep well, you two. Night!" Sasha heard mumbled responses before she scurried down the stairs. "Never," she said into the phone. "They need this, now they won't think I'm coming back and they'll be free to get carried away."

"You're ridiculous, you know that?" Connie laughed.

"I'm her best girlfriend is what I am." Sasha plopped down on the couch. "I will get them together if it's the last thing I do."

"I'm glad I could indirectly help," Connie said.

"You helped, I couldn't have done it without your call." Sasha popped opened the bag of chips.

"Okay," Connie chuckled. "Night, Sash."

"Night." Sasha placed her phone on the table and kicked her feet up before reaching for the remote. She sincerely hoped those two caught the drift or next time she wasn't gonna be as subtle.

It was the sun that woke Sasha up making her eyes blink open and her arms stretch over her head. For a moment she forgot where she was, it wasn't till she sat up and saw the pick on the table that she remembered. Sasha grabbed it and walked as quietly as she could up to Mikasa's door. Sasha put her ear to the door, just in case, but nothing so she fiddled with the handle till the familiar click was heard.

The room was quiet because both Eren and Mikasa were still asleep in her bed; he was curled up around her, Mikasa's back pressed to his chest and it looked like his arm was under her waist under the sheet, barely any room between them. His head was close to hers as they slept and he had even completely lost his shirt. That was more like it. Mikasa still looked exactly the way Sasha left her but Mikasa's hair was more tussled now. When Sasha stepped closer though, she could see quite a few dark marks littered across Mikasa's neck and chest.

That was  _way_ more like it.

Sasha had to grin; that was a step in the right direction. She was more than a little proud of them. Proud mama Sasha, proud of some hickies; it was a good morning already. Sasha slipped back outside and carefully pushed the door closed. She raised her hand and knocked. "Are you guys up?" she grinned

Oh, this was gonna be fun.


	90. Because We Said Goodnight and Not Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Somewhere current time in canon  
> Words: 2203  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon requested Eren trying to calm Mikasa down after a nightmare and ending up breaking down himself until Armin comes in to tell them a story so they could sleep. You know I love my Brot3 so how could I possibly resist? The title is from "Goodnight" by Evanescence.

It was the crying that woke Eren up first but it was the screaming that came shortly after had him sitting up in bed. Instinctively he turned towards Mikasa who was supposed to be sleeping next to him, but judging by the tears on her face, the way her face was contorted in fear, and the cries falling from her lips there wasn't much sleeping going on.

"Hey, hey," he said, reaching his hands for her face to try and get her out of her nightmares. "Mikasa, it's only a dream. Everything's okay, it's just a dream."

Her body stopped twitching but she was still crying and her eyes sealed shut.

"Mikasa," Eren called again, shaking her a little bit this time. "It's just a dream, there's nothing to be afraid of. I promise you."

Her eyes snapped open and Eren breathed a small breath of relieve. Mikasa looked around the room still in a panic from her dream, like she was trying to pick up what was real from whatever her head was tormenting her over. Her eyes landed on him. "Eren?" she asked, her voice so soft and so broken that his own heart nearly broke at the site of her.

"Yeah, I'm right here."

Tears filled up Mikasa's eyes again as she started to cry again.

Eren didn't know what was haunting her tonight, though there was enough to go around he was sure, but it really didn't matter. He reached down to pull her into his arms as he laid back down on the bed. "You're okay, Mikasa. It's okay, it was just a dream."

Her fingers curled into his shirt as she rolled into his touch, her head falling against his shoulder as she cried. "You were dead," she choked. "I watched you die."

"I'm right here." He reached one hand up to the back of her head, holding her against him. "It was just a dream. I'm right here, I haven't gone anywhere." He understood, there were plenty of nights it was him instead of her, dreaming of the past, of the future he never wanted to come. He couldn't count how many times he watched her die in his dreams.

A shiver went down his spine; he knew all too well how haunting those images were. "It was just a dream," he said again, rubbing his hand against her back trying to get her to calm down. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I can't lose you," she cried. "Please, Eren, I can't."

Her words were so simple but they cut straight through him. Her voice was so filled with a desperate emotion, one he didn't see from her very often, one that broke his heart. Mikasa lost so much in her life, including him once when they thought he was dead; he never wanted her to feel that again, to live through that again. He shut his eyes as his own tears started to well up in his eyes.

"I know, I know," he said softly, tucking his head against hers and pulling her closer to him. "I can't lose you either."

She shook her head against him but if she was trying to talk no words were coming out.

Why were they born into this world? It just wasn't fair. Sure, they made the choice to put their lives in danger every day for the betterment of humanity, but the fact they had to make that choice just didn't seem fair. All Eren wanted was a world where he could see Mikasa smile every day, where she didn't have to be afraid of nightmares every night, where the horrors of the past and the uncertainty of the future didn't loom over her. It just wasn't fair. The tears he felt rolling down his cheeks weren't for him, they were for the one person he wanted to be happy but the one person who because of his choices might never get to have that chance.

Eren cracked his eyes open when he heard the distinct crack of his door opening. Even through his blurry sight and the darkness of the room, he could tell Armin's form just about as well as Mikasa's.

Armin didn't say anything as he entered the room, he just sat down on the edge of the bed; his room wasn't too far away, he probably heard Mikasa.

Her cries were getting quieter, starting to be more like whimpers than anything. Eren wasn't sure if she heard Armin come in or if she was just calming down on her own.

"What's up, buddy?" Eren asked, trying to clear his throat from being choked up with emotions.

"I thought you might be having trouble sleeping," Armin said very casually though Eren very well knew if Armin heard Mikasa there was no "thinking" they couldn't sleep. "And I thought you might wanna hear a story to help."

Eren reached up to wipe his face and he couldn't hold back a small smile. Leave it to Armin to remember how he used to put Eren and Mikasa to sleep when they were kids. "What do you think?" Eren asked looking down to Mikasa, who still had her face pressed up into his shoulder. "Wanna hear a story?"

She nodded against Eren.

"Alright," he said. "We're all ears."

Armin nodded and pulled up his legs onto the bed so was facing them. "Once upon a time," he started like all of his stories did. "There was a faraway country. It was a large land, full of lush forests, bright gardens, sparkling blue water, prosperous fields, and a beautiful kingdom where all the people who lived were happy till the end of their days. Despite the glory of this kingdom though, there was the outskirts of the land where the poorest of poor lived. No one in the kingdom ever paid any attention to the people of this part of the land and never gave them anything but the rejects of their crops and their old torn up clothing.

"The people of the outskits never dreamed of being able to live in the kingdom and never bothered with fantasies of seeing themselves there; they just continued their sad lives until they died. That was with the exception of three young children, two boys and one girl."

Eren snorted but Armin gave him a look that stopped Eren from making a comment.

"These three," Armin continued, though not without a roll of his eyes and a smile. "Were the best of friends since they were little kids. The boys had known each other longer than they knew the girl, but they loved her like they had known her just as long. Despite hardships they faced, one of the boys and the girl having already lost their parents, they loved to dream about living in the kingdom. The first boy wanted to be a knight, and protect the people and the land from beasts and attackers. The second boy wanted to explore the land and see everything he could to see. The girl wanted to be a beautiful maiden and so the first boy would notice her how she longed for him to.

"Aside from being from the outskirts, the three friends faced other issues when it came to their dreams. The first boy was too brash and hot headed; he got into fights with the enforcers in town, as opposed to getting their favor. The second boy was too meek and fearful to leave his home and travel into the unknown. The girl was to shy and embarrassed to tell the first boy how she felt."

Eren looked down when he felt Mikasa's body shake, hoping she wasn't crying again but her face was turned towards Armin, a small smile on her face; she was laughing. Eren rolled over a bit in bed, still keeping on arm around her but giving her a little bit more room to watch Armin. "So how'd they get out?" Eren asked.

"I'll tell you if you're patient," Armin gave his usual response; it made Eren smile, reminded him of a simpler time. "As you might've guessed, the three did leave the outskirts, their dreams were big enough to do so but it took many years until they were of age in the kingdom. The first boy was the first one to leave when a group of knights came by to recruit more people; he left with them proud that he was finally going to serve the country. The second boy was next when an explorer's guild stopped at the store he worked at and asked the boy to come as an apprentice. The girl was last when a group of women from the king's court happened to notice her sweeping outside and took her to be a maiden of the court."

"So they all got what they wanted?" Mikasa asked, her voice a little hoarse still, but she seemed much more relaxed now, her head leaning against Eren.

"They did and they were very happy about it after all their dreams were coming true."

"But…?" Eren prompted.

"But," Armin agreed with a small laugh. "Not everything was as it seemed. The first boy became a full-fledged knight, the second boy a seasoned explorer, and the girl the most beautiful maiden in the kingdom and at first everything did seem wonderful but they slowly began to see where their wishes led them.

"The Knight was in the castle one day, checking in for his next assignment when he noticed his old friend, the Maiden sitting in the King's courtroom. He was at first relieved to see that she was safe in the kingdom, feeling guilty of his choice to leave her alone in the outskirts and second, he was almost instantly in love. The Knight always had a soft spot for the Maiden though he never told her; now they were grown and she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The Maiden was of course overjoyed to see the Knight. Despite the fact wealthy suitors from all around had come to ask the Maiden's hand in marriage, her heart always belonged to the Knight. They quickly fell in love but it wasn't as happy as they would've wanted.

"You see, Knights couldn't marry so they wouldn't lose focus on their duty and the Knight knew this. The King also didn't have a daughter, and wanted the Maiden to marry and become the princess of the country; she knew he would never let her be with the Knight even if she asked. They suddenly found themselves at a crossroads. Did they chose their dreams, or chose each other?

"The Explorer wasn't quite having the time that he thought he would either. As much as he loved seeing the kingdom and wandering through all these new places, he missed his old friends more than anything and just wanted to see their faces. He decided to take a trip to the castle to visit, knowing the both of them were there. They were happy to see the Explorer and he was more than happy to see them but it was quite clear when they were together that something was wrong. Both the Knight and the Maiden explained their dilemma to which the Explorer spoke about how lonely he was without them. Their dreams had come true, but they now found themselves longing for their outskirts where they could just be happy together."

"Did they run away?" Mikasa asked, though Eren noticed her voice was a lot softer, her eyes half lidded.

"Nearly," Armin nodded. "The Knight resigned, telling his Captain there was someone more important than fighting monsters and attackers. The explorer told his guild he was going back to write a book of his explorations. The Maiden was the one who couldn't get out that easily, not under the clutches of the king and the suitors who wanted her. The Explorer cut her long hair off, and the Knight dirtied her face and dress still thinking she was just a beautiful as ever. They took her all the way back to the outskirts they had so longed to get rid of but now, nothing felt more right to the three friends. The end."

Eren let the silence sit for a moment. "The moral being you don't always know what you have till it's gone?"

"Well, yeah," Armin agreed with a laugh. "But I was really just trying to get her to fall asleep."

Eren looked down to Mikasa and sure enough, she was sound asleep against him. "It worked," he yawned, adjusting his arm so it wouldn't fall asleep under her.

"Worked on you too." Armin pushed himself up to his feet, heading back to the door.

"Hey, Armin."

He turned back around. "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Armin smiled again, but this time it was a little different; there was a little more brightness to his eyes. "Anything for the Maiden and the Knight."

"I'm gonna get you back for that hot headed comment."

"Eren, you're just proving my point."

He chuckled, resting his head back against the pillow near Mikasa. "Goodnight, buddy."

Armin waved back as he turned to shut the door behind him. "Night."


	91. You’re an Asshole, But I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re an Asshole, But I Love You
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern AU; A companion piece to a tumblr request where Mikasa and Eren were pretending to hate each other but actually dating.  
> Words: 2351  
> Rating: M (Sexual situations and language)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here’s the one everyone keeps asking me about haha It’s pretty much pwp but the request was for a smutty high school AU so it fits. I combined that and a request for a sequel where Eren and Mikasa are pretending to hate each other because I really did like that scenario :3 The title is from “True Love” by P!nk.

Mikasa never seemed to luck out on being able to sneak out of her house; granted, it wasn’t like she was all that skilled in it to begin with. This was a recent change of behavior.

“Hey, mom?” She peered into the living room where she knew her mom was sitting watching some afternoon TV. For once, Mikasa wished her mom worked as late as her dad and Mikasa could just leave the house and text them later; no, she had to get skilled in the art of lying to her parent’s face instead. It’s not like she wanted to, but she didn’t really have too much of a choice if whe wanted to go where she was going.

“Yes, sweetheart, what’s up?” Her mom quickly muted the TV and turned to face Mikasa with a smile.

Mikasa pulled up her backpack on her shoulder. “I’m gonna go spend the night at Sasha’s okay?”

“Do you have homework to do?”

Mikasa resisted rolling her eyes. “A little, but we’ll probably work on it together.”

“Okay, need a ride down there?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Thanks though.”

Her mom nodded. “Alright, well, have a good time just be back tomorrow at a reasonable time, please.”

“Okay, call me if you need me. Bye, mom.”  Mikasa waved as she tried not to run out; she heard her mom say goodbye but Mikasa was already out the front door, closing it securely behind her. She glanced in the windows to make sure her mother wasn’t looking and started down the sidewalk in the direction completely opposite of Sasha’s house.

There was no worse feeling than the one Mikasa got when she lied to her parents. They loved her and she repaid them by doing this. It made her feel unbelievably guilty but the reasoning behind it was worth it. Her chest started to feel warm even just at the thought.

Mikasa quickly walked down the sidewalk so she could get to her destination faster and just in case someone drove down the road and saw her. Thankfully, it was just two blocks and one street over till she saw the familiar blue house and green front yard that had more flower gardens than Mikasa ever saw. That was just the front yard. She looked up and down the street before hurrying up the path and lifting the latch on the fence gate that would lead her to the back yard and away from eyes. She breathed out a sigh of relief when she saw the bright back yard she knew so well now, knowing she was safe.

“I was wondering how long it was gonna take you.” Eren was sitting on his back, putting out his cigarette in the ash tray next to him.

“That’s because my parents can’t let me leave without asking a million questions,” she said, dropping her bag on the porch and sliding down into Eren’s lap.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Where did you say you were staying this time?” He moved his kisses down along her jaw.

“Sasha’s like usual.” Mikasa reached up to run her fingers through his thick hair

He hummed against her neck. “Does Sasha know that?”

“Yes,” Mikasa sighed, tilting her head to give him more room. “She’s more than happy to lie to my parents should they call if it means I’m with a boy.”

“I always did like Sasha.” He ran her hands down her back, pulling her hips into him.

Mikasa glanced behind him into the kitchen where Carla would normally be bustling around making dinner. “Is your mom home?”

Eren shook his head. “She had to work late, she’s gonna bring home dinner for us when she gets home.”

Mikasa knew better than to ask about Eren’s dad. Eren didn’t talk about him too often but she knew enough to know he left them years ago with no mention of where he was going or if he was coming back. “Okay,” she said leaning in to kiss Eren.

His hands ran down her back and pressed into her ass earning a gasp from her lips. Well, they were alone for a little bit after all. Mikasa grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to her as she deepened their kiss.

Eren seemed to get the hint pretty quickly. He kissed her back before tightening his grip on her ass so he could stand up, taking her with him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck as he did to help him keep his balance. Eren reached down to grab the bag she dropped beside him and carried her in the house through the back door. He dropped the bag somewhere but Mikasa didn’t quite see where; which was mainly because Eren had placed her up on the kitchen counter and grabbed a hold of her face to kiss her. He ran his hands up through her hair and she couldn’t hold in a sigh against his lips.

Last year if someone had told her she’d be making out with Eren Jaeger at his house she probably would’ve punched them yet here she was. She ran her hands down his chest and pulled up at the hem of his shirt to slide her fingers against his bare chest.

Eren tugged his shirt over his head and let it drop to the floor. He moved back to press hot kisses against Mikasa neck that had her withering already. She ran her hands over his chest, his sides, his stomach while his hands gripped hard onto her hips, his teeth nipping at her skin. Mikasa cried out at the sensation, fingers digging into his chest.

Where once might’ve been disgust now all Mikasa felt was the gentle way he kissed over where he bit at her skin, his warm presence, his lips on her. Every touch sent shivers down her spine. She never knew anyone could make her feel like this, let alone the one person she never thought would.

He ran a hand under her shirt reaching up to the underwire of her bra before slipping his fingers under the fabric and onto her sensitive skin. She gasped as he pressed his palm over her, heat already swirling in the pit of her stomach. Heat that only got worse when she felt his hard arousal pressed up against the inside of her thigh.

Eren was always good to her. He always took his time, always made sure she felt as much as she possibly could. He had probably been with dozens of girls before her, but it didn’t matter because no matter what they were doing Eren always put her first. He made sure their first time was the best that she could have knowing full well it was her first time with anyone. He took the lead more often than not to make her feel comfortable and to make her reach her peak in the best ways possible. That didn’t mean Mikasa didn’t want to make sure his pleasure was just as high.

She ran a hand down his stomach to the front of his jeans. He groaned against her neck when she rubbed her hand over his erection. He rolled his hips into her hand, his own hand still grasping down on her breast. Mikasa nudged Eren back a little bit so she could jump off the counter.

He looked like he was about to ask if something was wrong but she switched their positions, pressing him up against the counter instead. She pressed her lips to his chest, her hands reaching down to pop the button of his pants and slide his zipper down. Mikasa trailed her lips lower on him as she slipped her hand down the front his jeans.

Eren groaned aloud when she ran her hand over him, his hips bucking into her some. As carefully as she could she pulled his arousal out from the probably confining jeans so she could trail her fingers along him. She dropped to her knees. He must’ve known what was coming because he was practically already moaning before she even put her lips on him.

Mikasa liked to start off slow; it was always nice to see him squirming under her touch. She pressed her lips against his base and slowly trailed her mouth up him before running her tongue over his tip. Oh yeah, that got him squirming alright. His hands were grasping onto the counter and his head was rolled back, eyes clenched shut. She wrapped her hand around his base to keep him steady before she took him into her mouth.

His hands curled into her hair, gripping down on her as she started to move her mouth in a slow but rhythmic motion over him. “Fuck, Mika,” he moaned.

They spent many days working out exactly what the other liked and Mikasa was proud to know she knew exactly how to make him melt. She flicked her tongue against him, swirling it down as she picked up her pace. Mikasa felt him lean up against the counter for more support, his hips trying not to move against her. She glanced up at him and saw his eyes still shut, his teeth biting at his lips to try and keep his cries to himself.

It didn’t work so well when she sunk deeper down, taking as much of him in as she could. The low groan that fell from his lips had heat pooling in the pit of her stomach.

Eren was always very careful not to hurt her but she knew he was reaching his breaking point when she felt his hips jerking, moving himself in and out of her mouth until he pulled out completely. He reached down to grab a hold of her hands, pulling her back up to her feet before his lips were on hers again. She reached her arms up around his neck as his fingers dug into her hips. Before she could quite calculate what she was gonna do next, her back was pressed up against the counter again and Eren’s hands were already popping the button on her shorts.

She ran her hand up into his hair as she kissed him, a grin pulling at her lips. Well, that was easy. Mikasa helped Eren by kicking off her shorts and underwear once he started to slide them down her thighs. She jumped into his arms when he grasped down on her ass and he placed her back up on the counter.  Carla probably wouldn’t be incredibly pleased they were about to have sex on her counter but Mikasa found it hard to think about anything when Eren pushed himself into her.

His head rolled against her shoulder, groaning against her. She reached her hands up to his head, her legs wrapping around his waist when he started to move in her. He always liked to start off slow, teasing her, nipping at her neck. It sent shivers down her spine, cries from her lips every time he pushed in her. Once he started to roll his hips harder into her, Mikasa couldn’t help up jerk her own hips up to meet his. Her hands tightened in his hair and her legs firm around him.

She didn’t know what she was doing when she went into all of this. He was the guy she couldn’t stand for so long, someone she never even wanted to sit next to let alone kiss. Then he turned into be someone she didn’t think he was at first glance, someone she found she missed when he was gone. She loved the way he teased her, the way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way he held her, the way he-

“Eren,” she gasped when his hand slide down between them, fingers rubbing over that one nub of nerves. She could feel him grinning against her neck.

Most of all, she just loved him. Even if it was something she had to hide from her parents for now, Mikasa couldn’t remember a time she was happier.

He started to pick up his pace while his fingers moved against her and Mikasa could already feel herself withering against him. Heat was tightening in her stomach, her grasp on him getting tighter as she rolled her hips up to meet his every motion. The way he was groaning in her ear only kept pushing her further but she also knew it meant he was close too.

One well timed flick of his finger mixed with a thrust that hit just the right spot had Mikasa melting into him, waves of pleasure riding out through her body. Her name was on his lips as he held her close to him, his own release mixing with hers. His breath was hot against her slick skin as they tried to catch their breaths.

She ran her hands through his hair, his head still resting against her shoulder even after he pulled out. Eren pressed soft kisses against her neck, his own hands lightly rubbing over her thighs. He came off as such a hardass but he was always so gentle with her, like she could break in his hands. Mikasa gave a content sigh, leaving a kiss in his hair.

“Wanna go upstairs to not do homework until my mom brings home dinner?” he murmured against her.

She nodded. “That sounds good.”

Eren picked her back up off the counter and placed her on the kitchen floor. She slipped back on her shorts, while he fixed his jeans and grabbed her bag. He led the way up the stairs and into his room.

Mikasa really did feel bad about lying to her parents, knowing how hurt they’d be when they found out. Yet when Eren flopped down on his bed and gestured for her to come with him she couldn’t help but smile and curl up next to him. His arms wrapped around her, keeping her close to his warm body.

It was worth it.


	92. Just Know You're Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Know You're Not Alone
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series; In an incredibly happy world where everyone lived and was still in the military  
> Words: 2184  
> Rating: K+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon requested a story where the whole 104th being still in the military post series. I'm really not great at writing stories where everyone is present so I did my best to at least mention everyone even if I didn't have them actually in the room. It was fun to write cause despite my not so happy headcanons for how the series will end I do like seeing them all happy together :3. The title is from "Home" by Philip Phillips.

Eren knew he had to wake up, he knew he had to get ready, get dressed, and get to work before he was late but his bed was so warm. Maybe just a few more minutes wouldn’t be so bad…

“Eren, I hate to tell you but you can’t stay in bed all day.”

“Maybe I can,” he murmured rolling onto his back. He felt two hands pressed up against his chest before the blanket was suddenly pulled off of him, the cool air of the bedroom making him shiver. He cracked an eye open though he very well knew who the culprit was.

Mikasa was already walking away, fully dressed in her uniform which didn’t surprise Eren at all. He had no idea how she managed to get up and be ready before he could even get one leg outta bed.

“Hey,” he called after her, his voice still tick with sleep. “That isn’t the nicest way to wake someone up you know.”

She stopped before she left the room and turned around, taking a slow walk back to their bed. She leaned over him, pressing her lips against his in a kiss that made Eren nearly sigh. “Good morning,” she murmured against him.

He grinned against her, reaching his hands up with every intention of pulling her back down with him but one well timed hit against his stomach made him second guess his choice.

“Now, please, get up or we’ll be late.” She was smiling at him as she straightened herself up to actually leave the room this time. He knew she wasn’t’ mad; just punctual.

With a groan, Eren pushed himself outta bed. He ran a hand through his hair as he slowly made his way to the bathroom to get ready. He still thought the work day shouldn’t even start till the sun came up. It never took him too long to get ready since he knew Mikasa liked to get down to base early to be able to eat breakfast with Armin.

“Did you sleep okay?” Eren asked when he walked into the living room of their small apartment, fingers still buckling up his upper harness.

She was nodding when he looked up at her, and he didn’t miss the way she was trying to cover a yawn. “Don’t look so surprised,” Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Just because I can get up early doesn’t mean I like to.”

“There’s still time to go back to bed and play hooky today.” Eren started to pull on his boots since Mikasa was already standing by the door.

“You know Levi’d march straight here and kill the both of us, right?”

That was probably true. “Ah, it was a nice thought until then.”

Mikasa tried to hold back a laugh but it didn’t work. She handed Eren his long jacket, that matched the one she was already wearing, for him to shrug on while she opened the door and stepped out into the hall. Eren followed, buttoning up his jacket while Mikasa locked their door and started down the hallway of their building.

He sighed when he dropped his hands to his sides, making the familiar walk down the stairs and out into the brisk morning air; granted, he wasn’t sure if he counted before the sun rose morning. He knew he shouldn’t complain. He’d take early mornings and working all day as opposed to not knowing if he or the people he loved were gonna make it out alive that day. Eren reached over to grab a hold of Mikasa’s hand, lacing his fingers with hers. He’d wake up every morning if it meant she was still by his side.

“I take it Armin has the schedule for the day?” Eren asked, trying to bite back a yawn as the path left the residential area and moved onto the actual base.

“I didn’t get one last night so I’m sure he does,” Mikasa said, leaning against Eren a bit as she walked.

“New recruits today?”

“I believe so. We need them if the Commander is gonna go through with sending out the double the missions as we do now.”

“Which means more work for us.”

“But.” Mikasa nudged him with her shoulder. “Less work for us in the long run if there’re more people to go on missions.”

“Nice try, Mikasa, but we’re senior officers.” He leaned in to press a kiss to her temple. “There’ll always be more work for us.”

The mess hall was just a little bit further away, Eren saw it past a few other buildings. There was some whistle blowing in the distance and he wondered which poor sucker was forced to get up to do the early training the recruits still in basic. He hoped it was Connie; that was always amusing to watch.

It was starting to get a bit lighter out, telling Eren the sun was coming up somewhere but that only meant he was about to have to get his own group of recruits to handle for the day. It was typically the same group, but it differed depending on what he was scheduled to take care of that day. Eren reached for the mess hall doors and held it open so Mikasa could step in.

The large room was pretty empty since the actual recruits on the base wouldn’t be eating this early; it was basically just other officers and workers getting some coffee and food before they had to work. Armin was already waving at them from his spot at one of the tables. 

“Good morning,” he smiled as Eren and Mikasa took the seats across from him.

“How you and Mikasa manage to be alive this early in the morning astounds me,” Eren yawned.

“You just got used to being lazy when we had our year off,” Armin said, pushing a cup of coffee towards Eren, as well as a muffin and a piece of toast and jam for Mikasa. Eren _really_ wasn’t sure how Armin functioned this early.

“Yeah, yeah,” Eren rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his muffin. It was probably true.

“What’s on the schedule for today?” Mikasa asked, munching at her own food.

Armin looked down at the familiar schedule in front of him. “Let’s see. I’m in the research department for the whole day which isn’t too much of a surprise but I do have to teach a class in the department as well. Eren, you’re with the new, new recruits today and the introduction ceremony.”

Eren nearly choked on his muffin. “Seriously? Levi knows I suck at that. Why me?”

“Probably because everyone knows who you are.” Armin arched an eyebrow. “And because it gets the new recruits excited if you’re there.”

Eren grumbled into his cup of coffee while Mikasa gave him a sympathy pat on the back; her laughter kinda took away the effect though. It’s not that Eren hated being in front of people, he trained plenty of recruits every single day; he just didn’t find himself that personable to be able to greet all these wide eyed newbies. Well, better him than Levi who would probably send all the kids running with one look.

“I wouldn’t look so amused, Mikasa,” Armin said. “You’re with him.”

She blinked at him. “Then whose doing the physical training if they’re taking me and Eren away all day?”

Armin skimmed down the list. “It looks like…Annie and Reiner are taking over hand to hand combat, Sasha is doing weapon training like usual, Jean and Bertholdt have 3D Gear training and Connie is with the last new recruit batch that’s still in basic.”

Eren was right this morning then. He’d have to make an excuse to go see that one; giving Connie a hard time was too easy.

“Well, it’s not a bad line up,” Mikasa said. “Just why’re we getting stuck in the ceremonies all day?”

Armin shrugged. “Did you do something to piss Levi off recently?”

“Don’t look at me like that,” Eren snorted, biting into as muffin and feeling both sets of eyes on them. “Didn’t you just say I was important for moral or some shit.”

“I’m kidding,” Armin laughed, sipping on his own coffee. “Levi probably wants you there for the same reasons, Mikasa. While they’ll probably recognize Eren the most, it’s not like you aren’t impressive. These are people we want to stay here in the Legion, Levi probably just wants to bring out all the big guns to do that.”

“Does that mean we have to show all of them around base?” Eren practically had to bite back a groan at the thought.

“And their families.”

Eren really did groan this time; families asked too many questions and Eren had a hard time keeping his patience. Well, now that he thought about it, that’s probably why Levi stuck Mikasa with him to make sure he behaved and stayed relaxed.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad,” Mikasa shrugged. “After all, we do need the recruits.”

“It honestly makes sense it’s you two,” Armin said, though the smile on his lips said his next thought wasn’t gonna be quite as innocent. “After all, might as well show them the Scouting Legion’s prettiest to get the recruits of both genders to stay.”

“That’s not true, buddy.” Eren gestured his hand that was holding the muffin towards Armin. “They would’ve brought your blond hair and blue eyed beautiful self if that was true.”

Armin snorted and rolled his eyes. “I’m not quite as exciting as you two are.”

“Hey guys!” Sasha was another person Eren never understood how she was so perky in the morning. She must load up on coffee or something. “Didja hear?” She was practically bouncing so Eren thought his assumption was accurate.

“That Mikasa and I got roped into being the newbie’s babysitters today?” Eren grunted.

“Well, yeah, but that’s because you two are enough to impress them all, well, just try not to open your mouth too much, Eren, but that’s not the news I mean.”

Mikasa put her hand on Eren’s shoulder to stop him from biting back at Sasha. “What news is it then?”

Sasha looked like she was about to burst. “Historia is coming to the ceremony too!”

“Wow,” Armin whistled. “Hanji must really want these kids to stay. Just how many recruits are coming?”

Sasha looked like she was calculating numbers in her head. “Well, there’s a few groups coming today but all together I think she said…a hundred? Maybe more?”

Eren choked on his coffee again. “She what!?”

“Hanji really isn’t joking around about these new recruits,” Mikasa said, rubbing Eren’s back as he coughed.

“That’s because we need them.” As if on cue, the Commander herself was standing behind Sasha, grinning widely. “I take it you two know what you have planned for the day so come on we have some briefing meetings to go over while we wait for Historia, and I’m sure Ymir will be with her as well, to arrive.” Hanji rubbed her hands together. “Let’s go!”

Eren was beginning to think he was the only damn person on this base who wasn’t a morning person. He pushed himself to his feet while Armin mouthed an “I’m sorry” but the jerk didn’t look too sorry. Mikasa took Eren’s side again as they followed Hanji to the door, Sasha waving eagerly after them.

Hanji draped both her arms around Eren and Mikasa’s shoulders as she walked them outside. “Please don’t be mad I picked you two, I know you both hate doing it but you’re the best faces for the job. We _need_ these recruits.”

“I’ve already given my life to the Scouting Legion, why not give my sanity too,” Eren rolled his eyes.

“That’s my boy,” Hanji laughed, squeezing his shoulder. “What about you, Mikasa, are you okay with it?”

Mikasa looked over to Eren, a smile on her lips. “Well, it could be worse.”

“And that’s my girl!” Hanji gave them both another squeeze before letting them go. “I’ll try to keep this as painless as possible.”

Eren bumped into Mikasa’s side reaching an arm around her waist as Hanji walked a little faster to get to whatever meeting room they were going to in the main building. “What’d you mean it could be worse?”

She leaned her head against his shoulder as they walked. “At least I get to be with you all day today.”

Eren couldn’t help the way his heart melted a bit; Mikasa always had that effect on him. “And I get to spend the day calling out newbies who think it’s okay to drool over you.”

“Eren,” she laughed. “I’m pretty sure that’s gonna be against Hanji’s rules today.”

“I don’t care. It’ll be worth the yelling afterwards to see the look on those kid’s faces.”

Mikasa was laughing again, and even after all these years it was still like music to his ears.

The sun was almost completely up in the sky overhead, making it finally morning in Eren’s eyes. Okay, maybe it wouldn’t be _that_ bad today


	93. We’re All In The Mood for a Melody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’re All In The Mood for a Melody
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Modern AU; College age  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 3241

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musiclover16 requested a story where Eren had a crush on Mikasa but could only write really crappy songs when he tried to write music for her. Eren is a big dork so I was on board xD Plus I like making him play the piano. The title is of course from “Piano Man” by Billy Joel.

Eren let his fingers run over the well-known keys to the piano in his living room. Small melodies rang out as he played, but nothing that particularly struck him, nothing that moved him. Granted, he wasn’t sure what could move him when all he wanted to do was hit his head against the keys as opposed to his fingers. What good was playing the piano since he was a kid if he couldn’t actually do anything he wanted with it? Sure he could play just about any song put in front of him and a lot of them by memory or ear but that wasn’t gonna help him this time.

“Hey! What’re you doing? I thought we were going out tonight?”

Eren looked up to see Armin standing in the doorway of the living room; Eren didn’t even hear him walk in the house. Eren pressed his hands down on the keys making a whole lotta ugly noise. “Yeah, I was just…playing around.”

Armin obviously didn’t buy that judging by the curious look on his face while he walked in the room. He sat himself down on the couch that was near the piano where Eren was. “Playing what? None of that sounded familiar.”

“I can learn new things,” Eren grunted.

“Yeah, but not with that disgruntled look on your face. You’re frustrated is what you are. Also, you don’t have any sheet music up so I unless you have a song playing only dogs can hear I don’t think you’re learning anything.”

Eren really hated how Armin knew him so well sometimes. “I can learn by memory too.”

“Just tell me what’s on your mind,” he said, leaning forward on his knees. “We still have some time before we’ll be late to dinner. The other’s might not care but Mikasa probably wouldn’t appreciate being left hanging when we told her what time we’d meet her.”

Mikasa’s name sent a jolt down Eren’s spine. Yeah, they were meeting all their friends at the diner since it was one of the few times they were all home from college for the weekend but Mikasa was still gonna be there. Mikasa, the completely gorgeous girl he met last year at school. The one he absolutely loved to be around, and for whatever reason she seemed to like to hang out around him too. He never got enough of her small smile, her laugh, her quiet but strong demeanor. They were a bit opposites, Mikasa being a science major like Armin, which was how Eren met her, where he was in school for music and he had such a ridiculous crush on her it was actually embarrassing.

“She’s with Sasha,” Eren said, poking his fingers at a few keys again though he didn’t miss the way Armin raised an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah, but she only became friends with Sasha a few months ago and she doesn’t know anyone else. I’m pretty sure she’d be much more comfortable if you were there on time.”

Eren pressed his hands against the keys to play a few chords, the notes ringing in the room.

“Okay, what’s wrong? This is getting ridiculous just out with it.”

“I just can’t write any music,” Eren sighed, the notes cutting off as he removed his hands from the keys again.

“Do you have an assignment due or something?”

Eren shook his head. “I just wanna write something but I can’t, everything I think of is utter crap. I can’t find any words to describe what I want how I want it.”

“Well, don’t worry about it, I’m sure it will come to you but if it’s not school related why’re you stressing? You have all the time in the world to write a song.”

No, he really didn’t. He was surprised that Mikasa hadn’t been taken by some guy much handsomer and much smarter than himself by now, but it wasn’t gonna last that long Eren knew it. A girl that just wonderful didn’t stay single her whole life; he needed to do something to impress her, to win her over. If not he was gonna lose the most amazing girl he had ever met because he missed his chance.

“Oh,” Armin said making a knowing sound. “You’re not trying to write just a song, you’re trying to write a song for _someone._ Don’t look at me like that, it’s all over your face.”

“I’m just not good at talking, so I thought if I could write her a song maybe I should tell her how I felt that way. I mean I’ve been playing this thing since I was six, you think I could do something but play other people’s songs.”

“Okay,” Armin leaned back in the couch. “Show me what you have so far.”

Eren scoffed. “Oh no, it’s so bad I don’t even want you to hear it.”

“I’ve known you since we were still in diapers. Nothing is too bad for me, Eren. Besides, I’ve heard plenty of songs you’ve written, the good and the bad so just play it, we have to leave soon.”

“Oh God, fine, just don’t laugh, and never speak of this to anyone.” Eren put his hands back on the keys and started to play a light tune; nothing too heavy or too elaborate, Mikasa liked simple things he learned. _“Your eyes,”_ he started to sing. _“Blacker than midnight, softer than silk. Your eyes, dark but bright like fire shining against the night sky.”_

 Eren almost heard Armin trying not to laugh from the couch; Eren pressed his hands down on the keys in frustration. “Some best friend you are.”

“I’m sorry, Eren, it’s just…you’re lyrics need a little work but the melody is gorgeous. You composed the song very well just maybe find some other words to express just how you feel about Mikasa.”

Eren nearly dropped the key cover in surprise. “I never said it was about Mikasa.”

“You were just singing about a girl with dark eyes and black hair.” Armin arched an eyebrow as he stood to his feet. “It’s not that hard to put together. Besides it’s not like I don’t see how you look at her. I knew before you even started to play the song that’s who you liked.”

Eren grumbled as he followed Armin outta the room and to the front door of the house. Eren’s parents were still at work for the day so he locked the door behind him and headed towards his car, the one he brought himself, Armin, and Mikasa back for the weekend. Mikasa was staying at Sasha’s house since Eren wasn’t quite sure how his parents would feel about him bringing some girl they never met to stay over the weekend…well, that was a lie, he knew how they’d react and he really wasn’t ready for that embarrassment.

Eren backed out of the drive way and started to head down the familiar roads to the diner they were meeting at. Armin had already rolled down the window, letting the warm air blow into the car as Eren drove.

“So, you already knew, huh,” Eren said, glancing over to Armin who was smiling.

“Eren, you’ve spent that past year basically spending all your time with her, never once showing interest in anyone else. Even aside from all the flirting and teasing you two do, it was pretty obvious. I just wanna know why you haven’t said anything to her yet. Just ask her out, I’m sure she’d say yes.”

“It’s not that simple,” Eren sighed.

“Of course it is, cause if you hadn’t noticed she’s also spent the past year spending all her time with you and not anyone else. Besides, she looks at you the same exact why you look at her, trust me. If I didn’t love the both of you I’d say it’s disgusting how much you two have it for each other.”

“I can still kick you outta my car.”

Armin laughed. “Is the song the hold up? You want some perfect song to tell her how you feel and you won’t until you have it?”

“Okay, it sounds a lot more stupid when you say it like that.”

Armin was quiet for a moment, just the sound of the wind whipping by the car. “Why not just play her the melody and not worry about the lyrics.”

“How’s she supposed to know how I feel without any words to tell her?”

“Your mom would kill you if she heard you say that after all that classical music she made you learn. Shouldn’t you know better than anyone how powerful just music can be?”

Eren bit at his lip; well, Armin had a point and Eren’s lyrics really sucked. He guessed if maybe she didn’t get it she’d still think it was a pretty song and maybe that would buy him some time to compose better words to go with the song. “Why’re you always so smart,” he mumbled, turning onto the road the diner was on.

“I just know you, buddy, that’s all,” Armin laughed.

Eren pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant he ate in countless times. It was their favorite place to eat when they were in high school so on weekends when people were home from the various schools they all went to now, they came back. Granted, it was Mikasa’s first time ever eating here since she wasn’t from around this area and that alone was enough to brighten Eren’s spirits as he stepped outta the car and walked the short distance to the front doors.

“There you guys are!” Sasha exclaimed waving her hands from a nearby booth.

That got everyone else’s attention. Jean shouted something Eren’s way but was quickly elbowed in the gut by some dark haired guy Eren hadn’t ever seen before which only made Connie nearly spit water all over their table, something Reiner didn’t care too much for but still slapped the choking boy on the back to help. Ymir also said something to them from her spot with her arm draped around a little blonde thing, Annie and Bertholdt too busy looking at menu’s to even look up. That didn’t matter though, all Eren wanted to pay attention to was the way Mikasa’s eyes were on his, the small wave she gave him as they approached the booth.

He slid into the booth next to her, Armin taking a seat across from him and next to Sasha.

“We aren’t late,” Armin rolled his eyes, picking up a menu and causing Sasha to hit him in the arm. She said something back to Armin who was now laughing but Eren chose to ignore them.

“Hey, hope these guys didn’t give you too much of a hard time,” he said, ignoring his menu and turning to face Mikasa. 

“No.” She shook her head. “They’ve all been very nice, loud but nice.”

“That sounds about right, save for the nice part.”

Mikasa laughed, her eyes brightening as she did. “Have you known all of them since high school?”

“Not all. The blond girl with Ymir and the guy sitting next to Jean I’ve never seen.”

A smile crossed her lips. “Well, it looks like I know something more about your friends than you do.”

“Oh, do you now?”

Mikasa nodded and gestured to the booth in back of them. “The guy with Jean, that’s Marco. He was in Jean’s philosophy class or something and they got in a debate one day and from that became friends.”

“That does sound about how Jean makes his friends.”

“Krista is the girl with Ymir. They met because Krista works at campus police station and Ymir was in lock up for the night for public intoxication.”

“Again, that sounds about right.”

Mikasa laughed again and it was like music to his ears. Maybe he could use something like that for his song.

Eren felt a sharp kick to his shin. “Jesus,” he exclaimed looking over to Armin who was looking like he was about to burst into laughter. “What the hell was that for?”

“Are you gonna order or…?”

Eren blinked and looked over to the waitress that was clearly waiting on him, the one he didn’t notice because he was staring at Mikasa as she talked. He felt heat rise up to his cheeks. “Just a coke, please.”

The waitress nodded and walked off still looking a little amused.

“Did you guys already order?” Armin asked, also looking rather amused; too amused if you asked Eren. He was about ready to kick Armin back in the shins.

“Just drinks, we all waited on the food till you guys got here,” Sasha shrugged.

“It’s about time,” Connie said, his head popping over the booth. “I’m starving.”

Eren pushed Connie’s head back down into his seat. “What else is new?” That was the nice thing about his friends though, it always seemed like nothing changed despite the fact times had. Mikasa seemed like she was enjoying herself though. She was smiling a lot, and laughing making his breath catch in his throat. He asked her to come back with them for the weekend for fun but he wasn’t sure if she would actually say yes, but here she was, like she was always a part of his life.

“That one was always my favorite,” Eren said, gesturing to the drink in Mikasa’s hands. “Do you like it?”

She nodded as she took a sip. “This place is wonderful, and it smells delicious.”

“Sasha, did you starve her?” Armin asked causing the brunette to place her hands up in defense.

“I just told her to save her appetite that’s all so she could enjoy the food she was about to get.”

“Are you trying to butter us up to get you more food?” The waitress was back, placing Armin and Eren’s drinks down in front of them.

“No need to,” Armin said. “The food is already wonderful here.”

“When did you get to be a smooth talker?” Annie piped up with an arched eyebrow.

Armin waved her off before looking up to the waitress again to place his order. She went all around the table and the other booths until everyone stated what they wanted and the noise of the group picked back up again.

Mikasa was looking around the diner, seemingly taking in the many things hanging on the walls, on shelves that lined the dining room. “Did they put that there for you?” she nudged him with a nod towards the upright piano leaning up against one of the walls.

“No,” Eren laughed. “That old thing has been there since before I was born.”

“They do let him play it though,” Armin said, that knowing smile on his lips. “The owner even keeps it in tune just for him to play when he visits.”

“The owner keeps it in tune because he’s OCD that’s why.” 

“Will you play it?” Mikasa’s voice was a little unsure, like she didn’t know if she should be asking him to play or not.

He was pretty sure she could ask him to do anything and he’d do it without another thought. “Yeah, of course.”

“Aww, man, Mikasa, he must really like you. He never plays when I-what the hell was that for!?”

Eren made sure to hit Sasha’s leg even though she was giving him a pretty hearty glare. He felt heat rising to his cheeks but Mikasa merely smiled at him.

“Will you come with me?” He didn’t want to embarrass her, but he recognized the look in Armin’s eyes when he suggested it; maybe Eren could play at least the melody to his song for her. The others might tease him but he really didn’t care, he wanted to see her smile again.

“Yes,” she nodded.

Eren slide out of his seat and waited for Mikasa to stand before he led the way over to the old piano he played countless times before (and a whole lot of Journey when people were drunk here at night).

“Are you really gonna show off, Eren?” Jean’s voice called from his booth.

“No,” Mikasa answered for Eren. “I asked him to.”

“Can’t say no to a beautiful lady, can you?” Reiner said, grinning towards them.

“Alright, alright, knock it off. I never asked you guys to listen,” Eren grunted, sitting down at the piano with Mikasa sliding in next to him. He still heard some shouts, some cat calls but he tried to ignore them and maybe they’d go away. They didn’t but he felt a little better once her pushed up the cover and put his hands down on the keys.

Her warm presence was sitting next to him, her arm brushing against his. He was always really flattered she liked to listen to him play so much; it wasn’t the first time she had asked him to play for her and he hoped it wouldn’t be the last.

“I’ll play you something you haven’t heard me play already, okay?”

“Okay,” she said with a smile.

He pressed his fingers down making the opening chords ring throughout the dining room. It was a smaller piano and older but it still had some punch left in it; the owner did keep it in good condition. Eren played the song enough by now that he could easily play it by heart, though he did opt out the lyrics. It wasn’t too long so he looped it a bit extending it where he could, mainly because he heard the breath hitch in Mikasa’s throat next to him and it sent chills down his spine. He finished it was a few lingering chords before taking his hands off the keys. There was some clapping in the background, some cheering from his friends but that didn’t matter; what did matter was the way Mikasa was looking at him.

“It’s not done,” he shrugged.

“You wrote that?” She sounded a little breathless as she watched him.

“Ah, yeah, I’m better at playing music than writing it but I thought I’d try.” He tried to shrug it off but his heart had leapt up in his throat.

“No, it was beautiful.”

Eren’s heart was pounding in his chest. “Well, I wrote it for someone who is very beautiful.” Okay, it was a little cheesy, but it was also the truth.

Mikasa’s eyes widened a little as she realized his implications. “You…did you…?”

“Yeah, I mean, is that-” He was gonna ask if that was weird but before he could, her lips were pressed up to his, taking his breath away. He easily melted into her, kissing her right back. His heart was pounding hard in his ears to the point where he could barely hear when his friends started shouting things again. Yeah, some friends they were.

“Alright, alright,” Armin said as Eren pulled away from Mikasa, her cheeks red as she tried to hide her laugh behind her hands. “Tell me the last time any of you wrote a song for someone and got a girl to kiss you for it, huh?”

Eren snorted as he rolled his eyes but Mikasa was still watching him, her bright eyes never leaving his. He’d have to thank Armin after this and for not keeping those lyrics; he had a feeling the effect would’ve been lost…very lost.

Reiner let out a defeated noise. “I knew I shoulda learned to play music instead.”


	94. We Can Burn Brighter Than the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We Can Burn Brighter Than the Sun
> 
> Pairing: Levi/Petra & Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Sometime when they are all in the Scouting Legion together  
> Words: 2638  
> Rating: K+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An anon asked for Levi and Petra giving advice to Eren and Mikasa. They specifically asked for Levi/Petra in the story and I had no problem writing them ^^ In fact, after I wrote this I finally started to ship them. Good on you, anon! haha The title is from "We Are Young" by Fun.

Petra prized herself on being an observant person; you had to be in her line of work or you would get yourself and your comrades killed. That wasn't the type of observation she was speaking about though. Yeah, she knew military strategy and she knew battlefield tactics when it came fighting Titans but she knew how to read people, she knew how to read her comrades; no matter how new they were.

She could barely bite back her smile as she sat in one of the meeting rooms, sitting by the window and reading a book, well, pretending to read a book. Really, Petra was watching two of the new recruits curled up on a ratted couch in the corner of the room. She wasn't sure if they just didn't know she was there since their backs were to her, but Petra saw them easily. Eren she recognized right away since she already knew him but the girl sitting next to him Petra didn't know. Not until someone else told her it was Mikasa Ackerman whom Petra had heard of due to the girl's scores in training. She wasn't focused on Mikasa's training and abilities today though, no, Petra was watching the very distinct way Mikasa was looking at Eren.

The two were sitting pretty close together; not close enough to raise any alarms but Petra saw something they clearly didn't know they were giving off. Eren had his eyes down while Mikasa watched him carefully and that was pretty normal Petra would assume; nothing to draw attention. What had gotten her attention in the first place was when Eren did look up to Mikasa, meeting her eyes; a smile would pull at her lips and it would light up her face. It wasn't just her though; no, when Eren watched Mikasa's face, a smile was on his own lips, his eyes bright.

It was possibly the cutest thing Petra saw in a long time. Eren looked at her like she was the only one in the room and Mikasa looked at him like there was no one she could possibly love more. As far as Petra was aware they weren't in any type of relationship; a childhood friend is what Eren mentioned when both Mikasa and Armin joined the Scouting Legion with him. Petra had been watching them for the better part of an hour and she'd easily say they were not  _just_ childhood friends. You didn't look at your best friend the way Eren looked at her. Oh no, they were in love with each other even if they didn't quite know it yet; though Petra thought the way Eren would lean into Mikasa every now and then, close enough for lips to brush skin Petra was pretty sure they were aware of it and she knew love when she saw it. There was no bashfulness between them, no embarrassment; like it was just perfectly natural for them to behave this way when it was the two of them. Petra had to hold back an amused giggle as she thought at least that was how it was when they were in public.

"What're you grinning about?"

Petra looked up to see the one person who could sneak up on her leaning up against the window she was sitting next to. She put a finger in her book as she looked up towards Levi, though he wasn't looking at her. "Watching over the new recruits," she answered.

Levi glanced down towards her, his arms against his chest. "There's no one in here."

She nodded towards the couch where Eren and Mikasa were speaking lowly to each other, their faces close.

Levi grunted in response.

"Oh, stop that, Sir," Petra rolled her eyes. "It's cute, how can't you think it's cute?"

"Because I've been trying to ignore the fact one of them breaks curfew almost every night to find the other so I don't murder the both of them."

"You can't blame them; let them have it while they still can besides they're just kids. They need some happiness in this world."

Levi's gaze never left hers. "And what good does it do you when you're left alone without the other."

"It doesn't always end that way." She felt her face softening, her tone lightening as she spoke to him. She knew he wasn't talking about Eren and Mikasa anymore. To most people, Petra assumed, it might seem like Levi's face was unchanging regardless of the situation, but she knew his tells and she saw the way his eyes became just a bit more gentle.

"C'mon, I'll show you." She stood up to her feet and started to walk towards the door making sure to take note that Eren and Mikasa saw them leave. She closed the door behind both her and Levi but didn't move from there. She just kept her hand on the handle and waited a few minutes.

Levi arched an eyebrow at her. "Are we really spying on two fifteen year olds?"

She hushed him and put her ear to the door; it was a pretty heavy wooden door so she couldn't hear too much. Instead she decided to slowly crack open the door, angling herself so they couldn't see her from where they were sitting on the couch. Well, they hadn't moved and they sure weren't about to see her anytime soon. Petra had to bite back a laugh when she saw that probably the moment they left the room Eren had pulled Mikasa into his lap his arms holding her close to him as he kissed her.

"Jesus," Levi rolled his eyes, his breath warm on her ear. He moved so he was standing directly behind her, peering into the room as well. "Do they not know what public decency is? Are you at least gonna let me walk in so I can scare the hell outta them?"

Petra hit him in the stomach with the back of her hand. "Leave them alone," she whispered, glancing over to Levi. "I think it's adorable."

"I don't know what's adorable about two horny as hell teenagers making out in a meeting room."

Petra closed the door quietly as she turned to look at him. "It's adorable because they love each other, how can you not see that?"

"Oh I see it, and it's gonna get them both killed. They're too reckless when it comes to each other; they'd risk too much to keep the other safe."

She arched an eyebrow up at him. "Isn't that what you would do too?"

Levi groaned making him sound like he was angry but Petra knew better. He grabbed a hold of her waist and pushed her up against the wall next to the door, leaning in so his body was up against hers. "And I told you the same thing didn't I?" he murmured.

He did, he said it multiple times but she never cared. She reached up to put a hand to his cheek. "I'd rather die knowing you loved me than never knowing at all."

He tilted his head down to press his lips against hers. He was a hard man but Petra loved the way he kissed her; it was almost always gentle to start. She reached her arms up around his neck to pull him closer.

"I see," she murmured with a grin when he broke away, leaning his forehead against hers. "You were just jealous it was them in there and not us. Don't look at me like that, it's not like we've never behaved just like those two."

"We're adults."

"They will be too soon. Besides, they're old enough to join the Scouting Legion, they're old enough to make adult decisions to make them happy."

"I really don't care to think about that." Levi leaned in to kiss her again cutting off anything else she might've wanted to say.

Petra could stay like this forever; there wasn't much else she enjoyed as much as being with him. Most people might've thought she was insane but she wouldn't have him change for anything.

The door creaked open next to them. Even when it meant getting caught in the otherwise empty hallway.

Petra looked over to see both Eren and Mikasa staring at Petra and Levi. They looked surprised and breathless, their faces flushed but she wasn't sure if that was because they just got caught off guard or because they were caught doing the same thing in the room. Judging by the state of both their clothes and hair, Petra guess it was a bit of both.

Levi still hadn't moved from holding her against the wall as he looked over to Eren and Mikasa's wide eyes. "We already saw you two brats go at it. We're even, so get to where you're supposed to be."

"Yes, Sir," Eren choked out, Mikasa trying to look like she wasn't horribly embarrassed but it wasn't working.

"Wait!" Petra cried out before they could bolt. "On the top floor, all the way towards the back. No one ever goes in those rooms." She gave them a thumbs up and a grin but Mikasa was already as red as her scarf as she looked up to Eren helplessly.

He wasn't much better, just staring wide eyed. "Uhh, t-thanks," he managed.

"And you brats better use some kinda protection. That's all we need," Levi grunted but that seemed to do it.

Mikasa dropped her face into her hands and Eren made some kinda strangled noise. "I think we're g-gonna…go," Eren spurted, grabbing a hold of Mikasa's hand, and tugging her down the hall without looking back.

Petra sighed as she crossed her arms against her chest. "I think we made it worse. I just wanted to help."

"Teenagers don't want advice from their superiors. They want us to pretend we have no idea what's going on."

She bit her lip as she looked up at him. That really didn't make her feel any better but maybe…

"I know that look, what do you want?"

"Will you talk to Eren and I'll talk to Mikasa?"

"No."

"Levi, c'mon." She hit his shoulder. "We have to make this right or they'll never look at us again."

"We?" Levi arched an eyebrow at her. "I believe it was you who started this whole thing."

Well, that was true but Petra needed his help now. Eren probably wouldn't listen to her like Mikasa wouldn't listen to Levi. "Please?"

He sighed and she knew she had him. "Fine but no promises he's making it out alive."

Petra threw her arms around his neck, pressing her lips against his. Levi was significantly quieter after that.

* * *

While Mikasa and Eren did a good job avoiding both Petra and Levi all day, they couldn't ignore a formal request from superior officers. Petra thought that was pretty smart but Levi just grunted like he always did. Whatever, it worked because Mikasa was peering into the meeting room.

"Come in," Petra gestured with what she hoped was a soothing smile. "Take a seat."

Mikasa stepped in slowly, shutting the door behind her and sat down across from Petra at the table. The young girl wasn't looking at her which didn't surprise Petra too much; they had nearly given the teens a heart attack.

"I'm really sorry about earlier, Mikasa," Petra said trying not to make things worse.

"No need to apologize, Sir," Mikasa said softly. "It was inappropriate of us."

She thought she was in trouble, and well, maybe it was anyone but Petra they would've been. "You aren't in trouble," she smiled. "I think it's a good thing. Live while you can and love while you can too."

Mikasa got a confused look on her face, like she didn't quite understand. "I thought it was against the rules?"

"Maybe if you wanted to cozy up to a superior officer but someone in your rank is perfectly fine, well, maybe frowned upon do to the high death rate but I disagree with that logic."

Mikasa's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"Because I think it's the opposite. It's because of the high death rate we should live our lives to the fullest while we can." Pretra cracked a grin. "You must agree or you wouldn't have been kissing when no one was looking."

There were those red cheeks on Mikasa's face again as she pulled up her scarf over her mouth. She seemed to want to be silent this time.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about," Petra said. "Eren's a good guy. I'm glad he has someone like you who obviously…" She wanted to say "loves" but she wasn't sure if they were quite there yet or not. "Cares for him like you do."

The younger girl actually gave a small smile this time. It was clear this was something that made Mikasa happy and that alone made Petra feel warmth in her chest. They were so young, so very young, they needed to feel happiness before it was too late or before it was lost from one another for good.

"Do, um, people know about you and…um…" Mikasa bit her lip like she wasn't too sure is she should be asking or not.

"Most do," Petra shrugged. "They just don't talk about it because they think Levi will kick their asses."

"Will he?"

"Probably, but he can actually be a bit of a softie."

Mikasa didn't look like she bought that at all and Petra couldn't quite blame her; Levi had that effect on people.

"I just wanted to talk to you," Petra said, getting back on her original topic. "To let you know you can always talk to me about anything you might not want to talk to others about or if you need advice from someone who understands, someone who…" Petra tried to think of the most delicate way to put this. "Has some experiences the other girls might not have."

The implication wasn't lost on Mikasa whose face had turned red again.

"I just mean I never want you to feel alone or scared. I'm here for you as a comrade but as a woman too, okay?"

Mikasa got this look on her face, one Petra couldn't quite read but she thought it was a good thing. "Thank you, Sir. I really appreciate it."

Petra knew Mikasa probably wouldn't want to talk right now; she seemed too shy for that but now she knew and that was good enough. "You're free to go."

Mikasa stood and gave a salute before scurrying out the door. Petra shook her head with a laugh and stood up to leave the room as well. Good talk, she hoped there were more like it down the road.

"How'd the girl talk go?"

She shut the door and looked over at Levi who was leaning up against the wall near her. "About as usual as expected. Mikasa nodded a few times and that was it." She leaned against the wall next to him. "Did you talk to Eren?"

Levi snorted. "I told him if he got her pregnant I'd make sure he'd never have kids again."

"Levi," Petra rolled her eyes. "Terrify him more why don't you?"

"I told him the people we love deserve to be cherished and taken care of because we never know when we'll never see them again."

She had her hands over her mouth. "That was so sweet of you."

"So he better get his head outta his ass and man up."

That was more expected. Petra went to slap him in the shoulder but Levi caught her hand with his and laced his fingers in between hers. She sighed but she had to smile. Those words he told Eren they were so true but Petra hoped none of them ever had to be left behind like that.


	95. You Know That I'm Not Telling the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You Know That I'm Not Telling the Truth
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa& Levi/Hanji (Implied)  
> Setting:Modern AU;Psych Crossover  
> Rating: K  
> Words:2590

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:I absolutely loved this because Psych is one of my favorite, favorite TV shows. I've been watching it from day one and I still haven't watched the last season cause I don't want it to be over ;-; That being said I had such a hard time coming up with something for this. Levi is stern but he's not hot tempered like Lassie is and my modern AU Eren is normally goofy but he's not arrogant like Shawn can come off (Armin would probably be a good Gus though and just always done with Eren's shit lol and Mikasa is a good mix for Juliet) So I tried to blend as much as I much as I could so they were still true to their characters but still have the fun of the Psych character banter.
> 
> If you've never watched Psych the pretense is basically lifetime slacker Shawn is incredibly good at picking up small details no one notices/photographic memory and putting assumptions together to come to a deduction, things he learned from his father who was a cop. Shawn uses the ability to pretend to be a psychic and solve cases for the Santa Barbra PD. Also if you've never watched it please do yourself a favor and do so. The whole series is on Netflix! The title comes from the theme song :3

The Sina Police Department was always full of people, activity and noises. It was loud with people talking, shuffling papers around, people unhappy about going to booking or holding cells, and just the bustle of the other officers. It took Mikasa a little bit of time to get used to just how busy this department was from where she worked as an officer in Shigansina before she was promoted to detective. Even from her spot sitting at her desk, her eyes scanning over a few case files and the busy day going on all around her she could still pick up one sound that was more familiar than all others: the distinct sound of sneakers on the tile.

Lots of people wore sneakers in the department, that wasn't unusual. What made this sound stand out was the way the shoes sounded as they got closer, there was an air of carefree confidence in each step and they almost always had smaller softer footsteps trailing behind trying to keep up.

Mikasa found a smile pulling at her lips the moment she saw hands pressed up against her desk. "Good morning, Eren," she said looking up to see the now familiar head of messy brown hair, bright turquoise eyes, tanned skin and toothy smile that always took her breath away as much as she tried not to let him get to her.

"Morning, Mik. How are we this fine day?"

"Just looking over a case," she said, gesturing her hand down over the papers in front of her.

Eren leaned over her desk, so close she could almost feel his breath on her.

"It's a string of car break-ins that-"

"The mechanic," Eren said, pointing at one of the case files. "It's his son that's behind it."

Mikasa arched an eyebrow and opened her mouth to ask him how he knew that but she long learned to trust his hunches. "I'll look into it, thanks."

Eren waved her off leaning back.

"Will you let her do her job for once?" Armin rolled his eyes from his spot next to Eren. "Good morning, Mikasa," he waved.

"Good morning, Armin. Did the chief call you guys in for a case today?" Mikasa slid the papers she was looking over back into the file. "It seems like something's going on in there." She gestured to Chief Smith's closed office door.

"God I hope not," Levi grunted from his desk near Mikasa's. "I've had my fill of you two this past year."

"Levi," Eren said placing his hand over his heart and turning to face Mikasa's partner. "It hurts me in ways you'll never know to hear you say such things."

"Shut your damn mouth, Jaeger."

"How was your date last night, Levi?" Armin said looking as innocent as ever but Mikasa nearly snorted in laughter when she saw that devilish look in his eyes that was all Eren.

"She was very pretty you know, brown hair, glasses," Eren said. "She looked so familiar too….where have I seen her before."

"I wasn't on a date last night," Levi said, his jaw clenched.

"Really, cause the coffee cup your hand is nearly crushing is telling me otherwise."

Levi quickly dropped the cup that was spilling coffee on his hand into the garbage can.

"Levi, where you really not gonna tell us you had a date?" Mikasa asked, leaning her elbow on her desk.

"It's pretty big news, right?" Eren said giving Mikasa a wink that sent stupid chills down her spine. "I didn't even know romance was part of Levi's chemical makeup. Oh! Of course, Dr. Zoe, the mortician."

"Ah, yeah," Armin agreed thoughtfully. "That does make a lot of sense."

"It was not a date. All of you shut the hell up before I get you kicked out," Levi said looking back down to his work but Mikasa could easily tell the boys got him worked up, which was pretty common.

"So you do admit you were out with her," Eren said.

Levi tossed his pen down on the desk. "Fine, you win. How did you even know that?"

Eren reached up to tap his temple earning an eye roll from Levi.

"Give it a rest, Jaeger. I don't know how you do it, but being psychic has nothing to do with it."

Mikasa had to admit it was hard to believe at first even from someone who was much more open minded then well Levi was. Time and time again though Eren proved himself to somehow know things no one else seemed to work out, and most every time it panned out like he said even when it didn't seem like it could be possible. She made her choice to believe him and to trust him and Eren hadn't let her down.

"Can you believe this guy, Mik?" Eren said turning to Mikasa. "How can the two of you be related? You're such a warm ball of sunshine and he's like the weather in the Midwest."

"Seriously?" Levi grunted. "Was that supposed to be an insult?"

"I dunno, Eren," Armin said. "She could probably kick your ass just as fast as Levi could."

"That's incredibly true," Eren said not looking phased in the least. "Are all Ackermans skilled in the art of complete ass whooping?"

Mikasa stood up from her desk to place her case files in her filling cabinet. "I dunno, guess you'll have to find out for yourself."

The smile that pulled at Eren's lips was no less than breathtaking and Mikasa had to look away to make sure she was actually filing the folder correctly.

"For Christ's sake," Levi said. "Why don't you go get a real job like Arlert and stop bothering us when we're supposed to be doing  _our_  real jobs."

"I am doing my job, Mik was right the Chief called us down here probably to put us on a case," Eren said leaning his back against Mikasa's desk, hands propping him up.

"I would be at my real job," Armin said and not without a little exasperation. "But someone called in telling my boss my grandma was sick again."

"Oh, Armin." Mikasa always liked Armin. He was quiet and meek at first but once you spent two minutes in the room with him and Eren it was clear he was probably only still alive or out of jail because of Armin. He came up with answers nearly as fast as Eren did but Armin knew how to keep Eren in line, as best as someone could keep Eren in line Mikasa supposed. "I'm so sorry to hear that. Will she be okay?"

"Thanks, Mikasa, I appreciate it but my grandma's been dead since I was two years old," Armin said jabbing his elbow into Eren's rib cage, who was trying not to laugh.

"What? They don't have to know she's dead," Eren exclaimed when Armin went for him again. "Besides this is important! Chief sounded all formal on the phone and everything."

"The Chief always sounds formal," Levi said. "He's a professional remember? Unlike someone in this room."

Eren looked thoughtfully to Armin. "Can you be a professional psychic?"

"Maybe if you're Miss Cleo."

"Have I reached Miss Cleo levels yet?"

"No, you don't have ads running on late night TV."

"Yet you mean."

"Boys," Mikasa said holding her hands up to get them to stop talking. "Wasn't Miss Cleo a fake anyway?"

"What's the difference then?" Levi snorted.

"I'm deeply offended, Levi," Eren said. "Deeply wounded by your words."

All and all it was a typical visit from Eren and Armin and Mikasa found herself looking forward to this part of the day almost every day. Levi said something back that made Armin agree with him, in turn making Eren turn on Armin. Mikasa tried not to laugh, tried to keep her composure but it was nearly impossible. She came from a little town to a big city and that was already jarring enough but once she got used to the city her whole world got turned upside down again by Eren Jaeger, the carefree son of a very well-known and respected mortician of Sina PD.

Eren almost always knew what to say and even when he didn't he could still make her laugh harder than she had in years. Life was never the same after her parents were killed. Her world was so dim and bleak from that moment on, even years and years later when her cousin Levi got her a job with him to get her out of the town that plagued her Mikasa's life since she was nine years old nothing changed. She was still doing her job, still searching for her parent's killers like it was the only joy she had in life. Then Eren walked in, sneakers sliding against the tile floor, huge grin on his face, and her life got a little brighter; he made her want to smile.

She even after a year of knowing him and becoming friends with him (and ignoring any quickly growing feelings for the boy with the bright eyes she may or may not have) she still was debating on asking him about her parent's case. They were friends, and she didn't want him to think that she was using him for his abilities but she was a good cop, and Levi was an even better cop and neither of them every found any leads on who it was.

"Hey, Mikasa?Everything okay?"

Mikasa blinked up at Eren who was leaning over her desk again, forehead furrowed in concern. "Yeah, yeah, I just zoned out," she waved him off but Eren didn't quite look convinced. Maybe it would be okay to ask? They had been friends for a while now. Her heart leapt up into her throat but she tried not to show it. "Actually," she started, reaching a shaking hand back into her filing cabinet where she kept her copies of the case files for parent's murder. "Could I talk to you for a second?"

"Course, Mik, anything for you," Eren said, that reassuring smile back on his lips.

Mikasa tried to ignore Levi's eyes on her, knowing he'd recognize the worn out file she always had with her. She led Eren down back near where the evidence room was, knowing it wasn't quite as crowded and the less people knew about what she was asking the better. The folder was tight in her hands when she turned to face him. It wasn't exactly like she enjoyed having to tell the story; even after all these years she still had nightmares of that one night. "I was just wondering if I could ask you a favor," she said, biting down at her lower lips. "You can say no, it's okay. I don't want you to feel like you have to do something for m-" She cut off when he put his hands on her shoulders.

"Mikasa," he said still smiling at her. "Relax, if there's something I can do to help you, you know I'd love to."

She nodded, her pounding heart less from what she was gonna ask but more from his close proximity to her. She passed him the file and he flipped it open, the papers she had long ago memorized laying out in his hands. "I was nine years old when my parents were killed. It's been nearly fifteen years and we still haven't found any leads on who did it. Not me, not Levi, not the Chief, not anyone in my old department or the officers who were there when it happened."

Eren was quiet as he looked over the papers. Even Mikasa saw the way his face fell when he read over the file even if he tried to hide it. "Oh, Mik, you were there when it happened."

She nodded, blinking back the images that were so clear it was like it was yesterday. "It's been fifteen years and I was hoping maybe you could look over it? Maybe see if sense anything no one else did? You've done so much for the department and for me; I just thought maybe you could help."

Eren shut the file in his hands, signature smile back on his face. "Of course I can. Would it be okay if I went over it with Armin too? Maybe my dad?"

"Oh, yes, of course." She breathed a sigh of relief. "Do whatever you need to. Thank you, Eren, it really means a lot to me."

He waved her off. "No thanks needed. I'd do anything for you."

Mikasa had a hard time biting back a smile at his words and he seemed to notice, a different type of glint shinning in his eyes.

He opened his mouth to say something and Mikasa found herself practically leaning into him waiting for what he was gonna say.

"Hey, buddy, I don't mean to interrupt," Armin said looking a little bit sheepish from the end of the hall. "But the Chief is ready for us."

Mikasa straightened her back trying to stop heat rushing up to her face.

"Yeah, alright," Eren said. He started to follow Armin back up to where the Chief's office was but he stopped short, turning back to Mikasa. "Hey, come over to the office tonight. We'll look over it together and fill Armin in, okay?" He waved the file in case she didn't know what he was referring too.

It wasn't the first time she was down at their office but her heart still leapt up into her throat anyway. "Yeah, okay. I'll come by when I get off work."

"Sounds good," he said, walking backwards towards Armin. "See you then, Mik."

"See you then," she said before Armin grabbed a hold of the back of Eren's shirt, dragging him around the corner.

"Are you sure that was smart of you?"

Mikasa didn't even see Levi come to stand next to her but really that wasn't too much of a surprise. She didn't bother looking at him. "It was my choice and I trust him."

"I didn't mean about your parent's file."

When Mikasa did look over to Levi was standing with his arms crossed against his chest watching Mikasa carefully. She opened her mouth to ask him what he was talking about but he cut her off before she could.

"Don't give me that look. I see how he looks at you, how you look at him. You never let people in as easily as you let him in, so I'm telling you right now, be careful."

She wanted to tell him that she was an adult and capable of her own decisions but was there for her when she was left alone and every since. She knew he was just trying to look out for her. "Okay, I will."

Levi snorted. "No, you won't but thanks for humoring me. Not that I won't take great pleasure in breaking every bone in that brat's body if I have to."

"Oh, stop it," Mikasa rolled her eyes. She knew when Levi hated someone and as much as he pretended, Levi didn't hate Eren. He was more like an annoying little brother Levi never had and well, probably never wanted. "Wanna go eavesdrop and see if the Chief is giving them a good case or not?"

Levi's lips twitched and she knew it was close enough to a smile from him. "First one who can understand what the case is gets the head start on solving it before them."

"Deal."


	96. All the Way Home I'll Be Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the Way Home I'll Be Warm
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa & Breif Armin/Annie  
> Setting: Modern AU; At a cabin in the mountains the Jaegers own near Christmas  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 4633

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I never really wrote Eren proposing a more traditional way to Mikasa (though still very Eren like haha) so I had this idea in my head for this year's secret santa but I changed it when I saw some other things my secret santa liked. I still wanted to do this one though ^^ So enjoy this story which is basically 10% Armin being fed up with Eren and 90% sappy, mushy fluff. The title is from "Let it Snow".

"Do you think it'll snow again?"

Eren admittedly barely heard her question, but that was what heavy blankets and a warm, crackling fire did to him. "Hmm?" He lifted his head off the back of the couch to look down at Mikasa, whose head was in his lap but the rest of her was cocooned in a thick, wool blanket.

"Go to bed," she said reached up to swat at his chest.

A tempting notion. Since his parents were already sound asleep upstairs in the cabin, the heat would be on up there meaning his room would be as warm as it was down here. Eren leaned down, his own blanket slipping off his shoulders some as he did, until he could press a kiss to her lips. "I'm fine, I can wait," he said as he leaned back against the couch again. "Armin should be here soon, and I gotta tease him about his mystery woman anyway."

Mikasa arched an eyebrow but there was a smile on her face. "In front of his mystery woman?"

"Do you even know how much I had to deal with Armin's teasing when we were growing up? Oh, it's payback."

"That's because you had a ridiculous crush on your neighbor, but you wouldn't actually admit it to anyone let alone yourself."

Eren snorted, reaching up to brush some of her bangs away from her eyes. "Is it my fault I happened to live next door to the prettiest girl I had ever seen?"

"Oh, now you're just laying it on thick," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Maybe it's because I'm actually charming."

Mikasa laughed so hard he was pretty sure she was gonna start to cry.

"You're horrible, you know that?" He wasn't actually mad, how could he be when he saw her smile like that? It only made him feel the weight of the small box in his pocket even more.

She reached up to wipe her eyes as she caught her breath, patting one hand against his stomach. "Eren, you know I love you, but romance was never exactly your strong point."

"Excuse you, remember that time you had the flu and your parents were away on vacation, so I came over and made you your favorite soup?"

"You burnt the soup. I don't know how but you managed to burn it." She was still smiling, only teasing. Mikasa ate the whole pot, burnt or not.

"You know what," Eren said as he carefully pulled himself out from under her, watching to make sure he didn't actually knock her off the couch. He climbed over her, pinning her legs in between his as he leaned over her bundled body. "I've had about enough of your sass tonight."

Mikasa must've known what was coming because she grabbed the edges of the blanket but it was too late. Eren already grabbed the edges pulling it down until he could reach her waist. She tried to squirm away but he was more than a little used to this game. He caught her and pressed his fingers against her sides in the familiar motion he knew would tickle her the most.

"Eren!" she gasped while still trying to keep her voice hushed as to not wake up his parents. "Stop!"

He pressed his weight against her to keep her from tossing them both off the couch which she probably would've if she could. "What was that, Mik? Did you say you wanted me to stop?"

"Yes," she sputtered out in between laughing.

"Hmm," he hummed, one of his hands reaching a little higher to get another spot he knew always worked. "I dunno if I can comply with that."

Mikasa stopped trying to pry his hands off of her and reached up to grab his face instead. She pulled his head down until she slammed her lips into his. Eren rested his hands on her waist as he kissed her back, loving the way she was nearly breathless already. She dropped her head back against the couch, Eren following her.

"That's something I can comply with," he said as he trailed light kisses against her jaw, her hands reaching up to run through his hair as she sighed; which was probably cause she could actually breathe now but he'd still take it.

He moved to kiss her again, to lean down and wrap his arms around her, but a knock on the door made him look up. Of course, leave it to Armin, who was at least two hours late, to make his grand entrance now. "I think we should let him enjoy the snow a little more," Eren said leaning back down but Mikasa was already detangling herself from his grasp to stand up.

"We're not gonna let him freeze," she said, pulling down her shirt that was most definitely Eren's. "He probably had a rough ride in." Mikasa tilted Eren's chin up with her finger as he begrudgingly sat up, leaving him with a kiss before walking over to the front door.

"Oh God, its freezing out there," she said as she threw open the wooden door.

"Then close it," Eren said, running his hand threw his hair feeling the chill from outside even on the couch by the fire.

"Nice to see you too, buddy." Armin looked more Artic explorer than Eren's best friend but it was a blizzard outside so he supposed he couldn't blame Armin. He dropped his bags by the stairs while another body shuffled in behind him, Mikasa closing the door to get the chill and snow from coming in even more than it did.

Armin pulled back his hood, revealing that head of blond hair and blue eyes behind his glasses Eren had known for just about his whole life.

"I'm glad you guys made it okay," Mikasa said, not bothering to wait for Armin to finish taking off his jacket before hugging him.

"It was rough there a few times," he said hugging her back before slipping off his snow covered jacket.

Mikasa took a few steps back while Eren pushed himself off the couch to walk over. The girl behind Armin was taking off her jacket as well, blonde hair done up in a clip and eyes like Armin's looking for a hanger.

"Right behind you," Armin said gesturing towards the door. She grabbed his from his hands and went to hang them up while Armin, with his typical grin, turned to face them.

"I'm glad you didn't die," Eren said opening his arms towards Armin.

"Funny thing about that, so am I," he laughed giving a hug before turning to see if his girlfriend was ready to say hello.

It was a little unusual for Eren when Armin first said he was seeing someone. He never dated too much even when they were in high school, so Eren assumed if he met someone it would've had to be someone special. Mikasa begged to meet her, but Armin wanted to wait just a little bit. It really was Mikasa's idea to invite both Armin and Annie up to the cabin for Christmas but Eren didn't think the both of them would actually go for it. Granted, he didn't really know how serious Armin was about this girl; he wasn't even one to bring it up even if Eren asked.

"Okay," Armin said, clapping his hands together once Annie turned back around to face them. "This is Annie Leonhart," he said gesturing towards the blonde girl with sharp facial features.

She didn't look too interested at first but gave a small smile. Eren knew that look from Levi well enough, so Eren knew not to take offence. It was probably just how she was. "It's nice to meet you," she said simply, but kindly.

"And this is Eren and…" Armin started but a sudden thought made Eren nearly have a heart attack.

As quickly, and as subtly as he could which he assumed wasn't very subtle, he brought his fingers back and forth across his neck, trying to get Armin to catch on not to say the thing he was probably thinking.

Armin arched an eyebrow at Eren, who quickly dropped his hand when Mikasa looked at him strangely. "And his girlfriend, Mikasa," Armin finished.

"It's so nice to meet you too," Mikasa said extending her hand for Annie to shake. Mikasa also elbowed Eren when he didn't move fast enough.

"Yeah," he said trying to remember how to breathe properly, not that Mikasa elbowing him in the gut helped any. "Glad you could come up."

"Thank you for inviting me," Annie said, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. "I was a little surprised when Armin asked me."

"Nah, don't worry about it," Eren said. "My mom's happier the more people she can cook for. There's more than enough room here, and besides, we wanted to finally meet you."

"Not that we blame him for wanting to give you some time before meeting Eren. They're something else when they're together," Mikasa said.

"That's true, you know I have a special love for my oldest friend."

"Uh-huh," Armin said, a smile on his lips. "If special love means giving me an endless headache then you're right about that."

"What are best friends for?" Everything was easy with Armin. It was like being with Mikasa, simple as breathing. Of course, they did all grow up together so Eren supposed it made sense.

"Okay," Armin laughed. "Hey, Mikasa, would you mind taking Annie up to the room, I have something I need to ask my best friend over here."

There was something in Armin's tone that made Eren swallow hard. This probably wasn't gonna go over too well.

"Oh, of course," Mikasa said with a smile walking over to the stairs. "Need any help, Annie?"

"No, that's okay," she said, grabbing her bags and following Mikasa up the stairs.

Armin waited until the footsteps and Mikasa's voice died away into the distance before stepping into the living room, his back to Eren for a moment. "You know you had a week didn't you," Armin said, turning around to face Eren.

"Well, yeah, I mean that  _was_  the plan," he said, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants.

Armin gestured for Eren to continue.

He groaned in both frustration and defeat. "Okay, look," he said softly, walking over to where Armin was standing just so no one could overhear. "Asking someone to marry you isn't as easy as it seems, alright?"

"Eren, you've known her since you were nine. She should be the easiest person to talk to."

"That's the problem," he said, his hand curling around the ring box he had taken with him everywhere this past week up at the cabin. "Every time I tried I just forget everything I wanted to say and I just…I dunno froze and then my parents got here by the weekend and I just lost it. A whole week gone because I couldn't just say it."

Armin paused for a moment. "Are you afraid she won't say yes?"

"I mean, I guess I could be, but we've been together for almost ten years, pretty sure she would've dumped my ass ages ago if she didn't wanna marry me."

Armin snorted, breaking his serious gaze.

Eren sighed, plopping himself down on the couch, eyes looking up to Armin. "I just want it to be perfect, you know? Everything she ever dreamed of." He reached up and ran a hand through his hair. "She even told me I wasn't so great with the romance elements, but I want to be. I want it to be that moment for her. I want people to ask her what it was like and have her not say 'oh, you know, he could barely even get the words out'."

"Yeah, but her perfect and someone else's perfect are gonna be two completely separate things," Armin said. "And I think you're forgetting this is Mikasa, she's not gonna care about anything but the fact you love her enough to spend the rest of your life with her. She probably wouldn't like a big public display because she's a private person, but if it came down to it and that's how it happened she'd still cherish it, because it was your way of showing you loved her. I just think you're overthinking it, do what feels right."

"Are you ever gonna be wrong? Like just once I'd like you to say something that makes me go, 'wow, Armin, that was shit advice'." Eren already felt a smile pulling at his lips. There was a reason they were still friends after all these years.

"Nope, never gonna happen. Did you at least tell your parents?"

Eren laughed. "Are you kidding me? My mom would've just started crying every time she saw Mikasa and gave it all away."

"Well, I can't deny that." A yawn pulled at Armin's lips reminding Eren just how much Armin probably drove just to get here.

"I'm glad you and Annie made it," Eren said, standing up to clasp a hand on Armin's shoulder. "Glad you finally brought her along."

"I did have to make sure nothing was gonna scare her off."

"You're so lucky I love you like a brother."

Armin was laughing, his eyes bright. Even though Eren loved the time he got alone with Mikasa here, now that Armin was with them it really did feel like everything was complete. Maybe Eren was just waiting till the people he loved most where here to celebrate in the aftermath of his proposal to Mikasa. Or he was just using that as an excuse to make himself feel better. The latter was more likely.

"Eren?"

He looked back over at the stairs, where Mikasa was leaning up against the railing. "Yeah, babe, what's up?"

"I'm gonna go to bed since your mom will probably wake us up at the crack of dawn with some breakfast feast. Are you coming?" She did look tired, though in her defense it was like two in the morning.

"Yeah, I'll be up there in a minute," Eren said.

She nodded and disappeared out of sight up the stairs once more. He must've been staring after her because Armin chuckled.

"Just tell her how you feel," he said, making his way to the staircase himself. "Tell her what you told me. She's always wanted to be with you, nothing's changed, Eren."

Armin was right, like always. It was just so hard to get those words out, to know what Eren wanted to say, but to have his mind and voice choke on him. He followed Armin up the stairs, and waved a good night before slipping into the room that was always his.

There were no lights on, just the moonlight shinning in through the window. Mikasa was already in bed, curled up on his side, which meant he had to practically pick her up to get her to move over so he could even get in the bed. Not that he minded since once his head hit the pillow she was already curled up against him, her warm breath on his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. He knew wasn't making a mistake, he knew this was what he wanted. She was always what he wanted.

* * *

 

In Armin's defense it did take him two full days at the cabin before he started giving Eren very pointed looks and motions. He tried hard to ignore Armin.

Eren tried, okay, he really did. After his talk with Armin, right in the morning he got ready and started thinking all the ways he could get Mikasa alone enough to ask her. Of course, Mikasa wanted to spend the morning after breakfast trying to get to know Annie. It was important to Mikasa because Armin was important to her, and Eren obviously didn't mind. If this was the girl Armin liked enough to take on vacation with them, of course, Eren was gonna try and get to know her too. It turned into an all-day affair with everyone trying to make Annie and Armin feel right at home with them and considering Annie smiled more than she did the night before, Eren figured it worked well.

Besides, he liked the way she looked at Armin, and liked the way he looked at her even more. After knowing what it felt like to have the woman he loved by his side, it was more than a little heartwarming to see Armin potentially starting to go through the same thing.

So Eren wrote that day off. He tried again the next day, but Carla wanted to take the girls into town to go shopping and neither one was opposed. With a kiss and a wave Mikasa was gone for a good majority of the day, ruling out any chances Eren had. Then he had no excuses for himself for the rest of the day. He probably had ample opportunity that he didn't take and now he had Armin giving him that look while Eren was trying to finish his waffles.

Not that he blamed Armin for it. Eren knew that if Christmas came and went, if they left the cabin to go home and he still hadn't asked Mikasa to marry him, he'd regret it. This place was always special to them, the summers and holidays they had here. This was where he wanted this next memory to take place. He just had to actually do it.

"Did you have enough to eat, Annie?" Carla asked holding up another plate of waffles.

"Yes, thank you very much," Annie nodded in response.

Eren rolled his eyes only earning a look from his mother.

"Do you have something to say to me, Eren Jaeger?" she said placing a hand on her hip. She wasn't mad; Eren knew the tone she had when she was mad at him.

"Nothing, Ma, just that I mainly think you would've much rather had a daughter."

"Well," she said placing the plate of waffles in front of him. "At least a daughter wouldn't eat me out of house and home like you boys do."

"You love it, Aunt Carla," Armin said, leaning back in his chair, one arm around the back of Annie's.

Carla hummed in response as she turned back to the kitchen making Grisha chuckle in agreement from the head of the table and from behind his newspaper. God, Eren's parents were so cliché sometimes.

"Anything you'd like to do today?" Carla asked, wrapping up the rest of the waffles she made while Eren bite into another one on his plate.

"I was actually gonna go out for a walk if anyone wanted to come with me," Mikasa said as she stood up from the table, bringing her plate and fork over to the sink.

Armin elbowed Eren so hard in the side he choked on his waffle.

"Careful," Carla said. "You still have to breathe when you eat, Eren."

"I'm fine," he coughed, sending a glare towards a rather amused looking Armin but Eren got the message. Loud and clear, even if the thought had all those waffles now turning in his stomach. Yeah, that would be something to remember; that one time he threw up trying to ask his girlfriend to marry him. "I'll go with you, Mik."

"Armin? Annie?" Mikasa asked as she headed over to the back door, pulling her jacket off the rack. "Would you like to come?"

"Nah, I like being in with the fire and not with the snow," Armin said. He turned his head towards Annie. "If you'd like to go you can."

"Maybe another time," she shook her head, but when Eren looked over she had this smile on her lips that looked oh, so familiar. Apparently she picked up a thing or two from Armin, because that knowing look was all him.

Eren resisted rolling his eyes. He walked over to where Mikasa was, reaching out to help her put on her jacket before grabbing her red scarf off the rack to drape around her neck. "Do you guys wanna come at all?" he asked his parents, pulling on his own jacket and slipping into his boots that were left there from the last time he went out.

Carla opened her mouth but Grisha beat her to it. "That's okay, you two go on." There was that dumb look again, now on his dad's face. It was matched with a wink that made Eren pretty convinced his mom and Mikasa were the only ones who didn't know.

"Alright," Eren said. He grabbed a hat and shoved it down on Mikasa's head while she was wrapping her scarf around her neck.

"Gloves?"Mikasa asked holding up his pair.

"That's okay." Eren was pretty sure the nerves that bundled up in the pit of his stomach was enough to keep him warm for years at this rate.

She eyed him but dropped the gloves in favor for putting her own on. Mikasa was typically the one who was always cold, not so much him. Eren gave the room a wave before opening up the back door to let Mikasa go out in front of him. He did shut the door before anyone could actually say anything else to him.

Mikasa was waiting on the path that lead out back, a trail they knew by heart even if it was currently covered in slow. Eren walked over to where she was, taking her gloved hand in his as he started to lead her through the woods. She was quiet as they walked which was normal; she was always quiet if she didn't have anything to say. She just looked around at the snow covered trees, the frozen lake off in the distance, the white capped mountains on the horizon.

Eren took deep breaths of the fresh, cold air, hoping it would help clear his head, help him say all the things he wanted to tell her. He reached the hand that wasn't hold her's into his pocket, the velvet of the ring box brushing over his fingers. He antagonized over picking out a ring for her, dragging Armin to every single jewelry store in the mall and surrounding area until he practically made Eren pick one.

"What's the matter with you?" Mikasa asked jolting him from his thoughts.

"Huh?" Which probably wasn't the smartest response.

She arched an eyebrow. "You've been acting strange this whole trip. Sometimes you're completely fine, and sometimes you get all tense and quiet like you're doing now."

Leave it to Mikasa to see right through him. "Oh, um, it's nothing." He tried to give her a smile to appease but the look on her face didn't change. This was it. If he didn't want to lie to her and risk making her actually angry with him, he'd have to do it right now.

"Okay, um…" Eren glanced behind him to make sure the cabin windows were blocked by trees. That was all he needed, an audience.

Mikasa stopped in the path, turning to face him with her arms across her chest. "Did you not wanna come up for Christmas? Is that what it is?"

"What? No, God, no."Eren shoved his other hand in his pocket as to not make it look too suspicious. "It's nothing like that. The opposite actually." His heart was pounding in his chest when her face softened, his breath hitching in his throat. This was Mikasa, he had this. It was just Mikasa.

"I wanted to come up here because it's special, you know?" he said. "We've been coming up here since we were kids. It's always the best memories I have."

"Then what's the problem?" She took a step forward, brushing some fallen snow out of his hair. She had snow in her hair too, her cheeks and nose red from the cold, her soft skin beautiful against her dark hair even if the hat was holding most of it down.

"I love you," he breathed.

Now she was looking at him funny again. "I love you too. Eren, what's going on?"

He pulled his hands out of his pocket to take hers. "I've been trying so hard all week to tell you how much you mean to me, Mik, but you've been my best friend since we were nine, we've been together since we were fifteen. How could I possibly reduce all those years into a few sentences, you know?"

"You don't have to explain it to me," she said, that warm smile on her lips. "I know."

"No, I do. I, um…" He hesitated. He knew if he didn't say a word she'd still understand, it was how well she knew him. "You know I'm not super great with words, I never have been. I'm pretty sure when I asked you out it was along the lines of me telling you we were going out because I couldn't actually say anything else but you knew. You always do. So…" He pulled the box out of his pocket but still tried to block it from Mikasa's view. "I'll let this one speak for itself too."

He might've thought better about getting down on his knee than in the middle of the snow but the moment he saw the look on her face, the way her hands had covered her mouth, her eyes wide and starting to glistening like the snow around her, nothing else mattered. "I always knew, from the day you wandered into my front lawn that I couldn't imagine a day of my life without you." He put his hand in front of him and popped the top on the box; the ring was small, and simple, just how Mikasa liked it. "So I'm making sure I never have to."

She was crying and it was hard not to feel any else but a happiness that only Mikasa ever could give him.

"Mikasa?"

She gave him some choked noise in response.

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she breathed. "Of course, yes."

He wasn't sure when his knee went numb from the cold snow seeping in through his jeans but it still didn't matter. She was looking at him with those adoring eyes, a look he never thought anyone would look at him with, let alone the most amazing person he ever knew. He popped the ring out of the box and took her left hand, gently tugging off her glove until her warm skin was touching his. He delicately slid the ring on her finger and before he could even have a chance to think her arms were thrown around his neck, her face buried in his shoulder.

Eren wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight and barely feeling the biting wind all around them. She was so warm, it was impossible to feel anything but. He felt like a weight was off his shoulders. Sure he always assumed she'd say yes, but now he knew; there was no greater feeling. When she kissed him, it was almost like the first time all over again. This was it. She was gonna marry him. She was gonna be his wife.

She smiled when she pulled away, resting her forehead against his. "Were you planning that all week?"

"Yeah," he laughed, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. "I tried and failed quite a few times."

Her eyes were bright when she looked at him. "I think you did pretty well for yourself."

"What do you say, wanna go make my mom cry?"

She laughed and Eren knew without a doubt he wanted to hear her laugh for the rest of his life.


	97. If Only In My Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Only In My Dreams
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa & Brief Hanji/Levi  
> Setting: Modern AU; No specific universe  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 2915

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super self indulgent trash but whatever, this is what happens when I listen to Christmas songs at work. I love fics like these (cause I'm a sap for cheesey Christmas movies) and I also wanted to try something a little different. Every section save for the last one is told through phone calls. It was super fun to write ^^ The title is from "I'll Be Home for Christmas" of course.

Mikasa felt her chest tightening, her throat choking up as the words Eren just spoke felt like they were still resonating through her cell phone speaker. "What do you mean you aren't coming home?"

He sighed, a weary, tired sigh. He sounded exhausted. She could almost picture the hunch in his shoulders, his hand rubbing over his forehead, the dark bags under his eyes that he got when he didn't sleep enough. "Mik, please, don't make this harder."

"You can't just not come home for Christmas. Eren, we always celebrate together."

"It's not like I like it any more than you do," he said. "You think I want to spend Christmas halfway across the country without you, or Armin, or any of my family but it's my residency, I'm at the absolute bottom of the food chain, Mikasa. I don't get a choice. I have to work."

Mikasa closed her eyes, already feeling the sharp sting of tears. If he was here he would've wiped them away, done something to make her laugh, but he wasn't. He wasn't coming home for a long time now. "What am I supposed to do?" she breathed, trying to make sure he didn't hear the cracks in her voice she knew he'd pick up on.

Eren sighed again, this time sounding more defeated than before. "I'll send you your present, and I'll call you on my break that day so you can open it."

It wasn't the same. It would never be the same unless he was here. Every year since the year her parents died he always spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her, making sure she had just as good of a holiday that she had when her parents were alive. This would be the first year in almost fifteen years that he wouldn't be here to celebrate with her.

"Okay," she said not doing much a job on disguising her disappointment.

"Mik, c'mon-"

"I'm sorry, Eren, I have to get ready for work."

"Ah, alright. I'll, um, call you tomorrow?"

"Okay. Bye then."

"Goodbye-"

She hung up before he could say anything else. Guilt mixed in the pit of her stomach along with the heartache in her chest. It wasn't his fault, she knew that. She wasn't even mad at him, it was just…

Mikasa looked up at the tree that sat lit up in the center of the living room in the town house she shared with Armin, and Eren when he still lived in state. It was far too big but it was the one he wanted, and Mikasa always had a hard time saying no to him. His face always lit up every time they brought it out to decorate it. Now she'd only be able to see his face through her phone screen.

She was more than a little glad Armin wasn't home when the tears started to roll down her cheeks.

* * *

"What's up, kid?" Levi didn't sound quite as stressed as he usually did when she called, even though it was about a week until Christmas.

"Hey, are you and Hanji still coming over Christmas Eve?" Mikasa said as she absent mindedly wrote down a shopping list on the pad she dropped on the kitchen counter.

"I think Hanji would have a heart attack if we didn't."

Armin was reading a book on the couch, the fire in the fire place crackling pleasantly. He looked up when Mikasa gestured for him to come over.

"Okay, Armin is chef of the hour so what do you guys want to eat?" she said passing the pen and pad over to him when he walked into the kitchen.

"What happened to Jaeger?" Levi said. "Tell him to get off his lazy ass and cook."

Mikasa bit down on her lip. "Eren's not coming home."

"Excuse me?" Which maybe would've been a polite phrase if not for Levi's tone that was typical of when he was upset, specifically with Eren.

"He can't get off work to fly home." Her eyes flickered up to Armin who was watching her carefully.

"When did he relay this generous information to you?"

"About a week ago."

Levi sighed. "That's what he gets for picking a hospital states away."

"It's not his fault," Mikasa said softly, looking back down at the pad of paper.

"I know that but do you?"

"Levi."

"Don't hold it against him, kid. You're the one who refuses to tell him about that ridiculous crush you've harbored on him for years."

Mikasa closed her eyes. "Please drop it."

"Fine," Levi said though Mikasa was surprised her brother actually listened to her for once. "Hanji!" he called, but it was distant, like he had the phone away from his mouth. "Text Arlert what you want to eat for Christmas."

"Hanji is gonna text you," Mikasa said, looking over to Armin. "I'll make sure Levi keeps on her so you can actually go shopping before everything gets sold out."

"Hey, kid."

Mikasa turned her attention back to the phone in her hands. "Yeah?"

"Don't take out all the hurt you feel on Eren. Take responsibility for your actions, and what you left unsaid when you had the chance before he moved." Levi was a lot like Armin, expect he tended to say things nicer than Levi did.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Okay."

* * *

"Mikasa, c'mon," Eren's voice said over her voicemail. "I know you're there. If you don't think I know your schedule even with a time difference, than you're kidding yourself." A beat. "Look, I know you're pissed at me and I get it, I'd be mad too. Hell, I am mad but it's been days since you answered my calls. This isn't easy for me either. You think I'd rather be staying up all night working than being home with you?" Another beat. "I know I broke our tradition and I'm sorry, Mik, I don't know how many times I can tell you I'm sorry just please stop ignoring me. It's not making this any easier. I just…I…" He broke off with some distressed or frustrated noise. "I miss you, please call me back."

* * *

"Good morning, sweet pea."

"Morning, Aunt Carla," Mikasa yawned, pressing the phone to her ear as she rolled over in bed.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay," she said, which wasn't a total lie.

Carla made some kinda disbelieving noise, reminding her where Eren got it from. "I just wanted to let you know that, of course, you and Armin, Levi and Hanji are all welcome over on Christmas Day. That'll never change no matter where my son may be."

The mention of Eren made Mikasa's heart jump, made her stomach sink. "Thank you, it really means a lot."

"Oh hush," Carla said. "You're one of mine, you always have a place here."

Mikasa bit down on her lip. She wanted to ask how Eren was doing but she wasn't really sure if that was appropriate since she still hadn't called him back or if Carla would just lecture her instead. "Um, how is Eren doing?" Mikasa breathed, trying to brace herself for what was to come.

"Do you want the truth or what he pretends when he's on the phone with me?"

"The truth."

Carla sounded like she put something down on a counter or table. "He's not so good, honey. He's all alone out there, and while he has friends he made none of them could ever replace what he has back here. It's killing him to be stuck away. He understands why you won't talk to him, but it's only making him feel worse and you too if I know anything about you; which I do."

"It's hard," Mikasa said, trying to ignore the sharp and sudden stinging in her eyes.

"I know it is, you don't have to tell me, but Mikasa, you have to know it's hard on him too. I know you feel like it's not Christmas without Eren, but he feels the same way about you."

Mikasa nodded before realizing Carla couldn't see her. "He said he'd call on Christmas Eve."

"Then you know he will, just make sure you're there to answer the call. I love you, I'll see you in a few days."

"I love you too, Aunt Carla."

* * *

"Mikasa, I don't think I've ever seen a grocery store with more people in it before."

She nearly dropped the tray of cookies she was pulling out of the oven. "Armin, what the hell are you doing at a grocery store the day before Christmas Eve?"

"I forgot something." It might've been true but there was something else in his tone that told her otherwise.

Mikasa placed the cookie tray on the stove to cool. "You never forget anything. What's going on?"

"Well, I didn't forget it so much as…hey! Watch where you're going, please! God." Armin huffed and it sounded like he was moving through a crowd. "I didn't forget as much as think we didn't need it but the more I thought about it the more I wanted it."

"Wanted what?"

"That stupid marshmallow chocolate cake he loves so much."

Despite herself, Mikasa felt a smile pulling at her lips. "Armin, he was the only one who ever ate it, it's just gonna sit there."

"It just…didn't feel right not to have it, you know? It's bad enough he's missing but to have something else that's always there gone just made it worse somehow."

She understood all too well. Even just talking to Eren was hard. It hurt to hear his voice and know she wouldn't get to see him, feel his warm presence, have a hug that literally lifts her off the ground. She felt so bad for not answering his calls, even going as far as to just watch his face pop up on her screen when he called, finger over the answer button but never hitting it. Sometimes she'd try to call him, and just stare at the call button but never going through with it. It just hurt too much, and it hurt even more to know she was causing him pain. Eren who was stuck miles and hours away with no one to celebrate with.

"Maybe we can all have a slice for him," Mikasa said. "He'd get a kick outta it."

"And try not to get sick off all the damn sugar in this thing."

Mikasa laughed; Eren was the only one who had that high sugar tolerance. "Get all the ingredients and I'll make it."

* * *

Mikasa was sitting on the couch with Armin,Hanji sprawled out next to Levi in the love seat after dinner when Mikasa's phone rang. Her heart leapt up into her throat at Eren's face on the screen.

"Stop punishing him, kid, he didn't do anything wrong."

When she looked up Levi wasn't even watching her, but he must've assumed who it was. She pressed answer and held the phone up to her ear. "Hey."

"Hey, Mikasa!"Eren said, the relief in his voice so clear it made her heart ache. "Is everyone there with you?"

"Um, well, Armin, Levi, and Hanji, yeah." She kicked her legs up under her, and tried hard not to pick at the edge of her sweater.

"I'm really sorry about this shit, Mik. I wish I could be there."

"I'm…" Mikasa glanced up from her lap but no one was watching her, or at least they were attempting to look anywhere else. "I'm sorry I acted the way I did. It was wrong of me and only made it harder. I just was counting down the days till you could visit and then it was gone. It was really hard to hear your voice and know you weren't coming."

"I know, I hated it. It's bad enough to be so far away on an everyday basis let alone the holidays."

"I never did get your present though," she said, looking over the small the pile that was under the tree, a smile pulling at her lips. "Did you send it out late? You know there's a deadline for those kinda things don't you?"

He snorted. "Of course I do."

There was a knock on the door that echoed through the living room. "Hang on, someone's at the door."

"Did Armin invite his girlfriend over?"

"You're only asking me because you want me to tell you if he has a girlfriend or not." She walked the short distance to the front door, and undid the lock.

"Touché."

She swung the door open, letting in the cold December air. It was dark out already, but the outside light from her small porch illuminated the front steps. She wasn't really sure who she expected to be there. Carolers possibly, maybe some of their other friends Armin might've invited to make Christmas Eve seem fuller but it was anything but who she was looking at.

Mikasa dropped her phone; it bounced off somewhere on the carpet as both her hands were over her mouth.

"I thought this might be the best way to ship it," Eren said, holding his phone in one hand, and a wrapped box in the other. That smile was on his lips, the one Mikasa adored, his familiar scent already making her body feel warm, safe. "I'm pretty sure I got it here pretty close to right on time."

Mikasa felt her body moving on it's own, her arms reaching up around his neck, her head burying in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her as he let out a sigh. It was cold out, and there was a light flurry going on around them but Mikasa could barely even care that she wasn't wearing shoes. Eren was here, he was actually here.

"How?" she breathed, not letting him go, not even an inch just incase he disappeared if she did.

He chuckled. "It took a while, I didn't even know I was flying out till this morning but I may have laid it on a little thick to get out of work. At least it worked. Well, aside from having to work a few long overnight shifts when I get back."

Mikasa pulled away just enough to look at him, his turquoise eyes bright. "You didn't have to do that, Eren. I'm sorry if what I did made you feel like you had to-"

"Mikasa," he laughed, leaning his head into her a little more. "I'm here cause there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

She wasn't sure what made her do it; if it was his smile, the fact he flew all the way out here, that he was gonna be pulling long work days just to see her, his warm hands on her back, his body against hers or if it was the fact it was just simply Eren. All she knew was she tilted her head up and kissed him.

Before she could realize what she was doing and pull away, the hand that once held his phone was tangled in her hair, holding her close as he kissed her back. Her fingers curled against his neck, her heart practically beating out of her chest. Nothing else mattered.

When he pulled away, Mikasa could see that dopey smile on his face, one that made her breath hitch. She was in such a haze of everything that was going on inside of her she didn't even know what else she could do or say at this point. "Eren?" she breathed.

"Yeah?"

"What exactly was it that you told the hospital?"

Eren chuckled a little, and Mikasa could see a faint red tint to his cheeks. "Well, I, uh, may've told them my girlfriend back home lost her parents around Christmas, and I was always there to celebrate it with her to make sure she had the best Christmas she could."

She leaned her face closer to his again. "Is that how you think of me?"

"It depends," he said, smile creeping back on his lips. "You gonna let me kiss you again?"

Mikasa didn't think she needed to answer that, not when she was already tilting her face up to his.

"For Christ's sake, will you two get in here before you effectively let all the warm air out. Make out on your own damn time," Levi called and Armin's distinct snort of laughter came quickly after.

"Levi, don't take his name in vain on his birthday, that's not very nice."

"Christ wasn't born on the 25th of December, Hanji, I was."

Eren was laughing too as he watched Mikasa.

"Well, um, would you like to come in?" she asked stepping aside so he could walk in the door.

"I'd love to." He grabbed his bag by his feet and walked into a place he called home.

Mikasa followed him in as he moved to tackle Armin on the couch, though Eren generously placed her present down first. She couldn't stop laughing especially since everyone but Levi was laughing now; he did crack a smile though so that was better than usual. She knew in just one short day Eren would have to go back until he had vacation time to use again, that it would be all too soon and that she didn't even know how they'd work out everything new between them. For now though a day was good, it was better than good, it was amazing.

"Welcome home, Eren," she said softly.


	98. Right Before Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right Before Your Eyes 
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Before they leave for Shiganshina  
> Words: 1914  
> Rating: K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this request for ages but I was waiting for just the right time in canon to place it and when they were on the farm awaiting to leave for Shiganshina I knew it was finally the perfect time for this story. After writing so many AUs writing these two lost kids in canon both breaks my heart and warms it. Here’s to hoping they all get to see the ocean one day. The title is from the song of the same name by Hoovastank which was the song Tragedymakesahero asked for when they requested this! ^^

 

Mikasa knew what was coming, they all did. These moments of peace were leading up to a life or death mission, one she had no intentions of losing but it was something even she couldn’t predict. There was only so much preparation they could do to fight off the inevitable, only so much when they had to fight people who used to be comrades. Mikasa shook her head as she pulled her jacket closer to her to cut out the chilly autumn air as she walked the familiar path up to their makeshift base. She couldn’t think about that. After what they had done to the Legion, to Eren, they weren’t comrades anymore. They were enemies who had to be stopped.

There were a few people doing some training off in the field nearby, no one she really recognized though; just more of the new recruits. She was sure Erwin, Levi, and Hanji were all still with the other squad leaders planning out every detail before they left in a few days, where Mikasa’s team was though she had no idea. She saw Sasha and Connie chopping wood earlier in the day but she hadn’t seen Historia all day, though these days that wasn’t too unusual. She had her own business to attend to now. Where Jean, Armin, and Eren were Mikasa wasn’t sure. Maybe she could go check the dining hall for them. It had to be close to dinner time now. She wasn’t very hungry but if Armin and Eren where there at least she’d have company.

She turned down a different path on the farm that would lead her to the main building, where they ate and slept but also where the meetings took place. The meetings for the plans that would take them back to Shiganshina. Mikasa swallowed a lump that formed in her throat at the thought. Home, she was going back home; even though she was well aware her home was nothing like it once did. It would never be the place it once was.

Some shouting drew her attention over to another field but it was just some more recruits training. She was about to look away when something caught her eye, someone laying on top of some hay bales. It was Eren, Mikasa knew him anywhere. She went to go off the path, walking over to where he was staring up at the gray sky but she only took a few steps before she stopped. There was something about Eren that made her stop in her tracks.

He wasn’t upset, at least, not visibly, though he didn’t look particularly thrilled either. His eyes just stared upwards, the wind blowing his brown hair lightly. The sight nearly took her breath away. When did his legs get so long? His feet dangling off the hay bale because he couldn’t fit on it. He wasn’t always that tall. He was taller than her when they were kids but for such a long time she could look at him and meet his eyes directly. When did she start to have to look up to him?

Her eyes traveled up, looking over his stomach, his chest, clothed by his shirt and his jacket that was blown open from the wind. She could almost see the toned muscle underneath, the way his skin now dipped and rose where there was once a skinny stick of a boy. Despite the chill in the air she felt heat rise to her cheeks. It was natural really, with how much they did physical training for the past three years. Of course he’d grow from being lanky into being firm, strong. She couldn’t say that was something she didn’t notice; she had seen him shirtless many times over the past months. It was just something she tried not to notice afraid someone would see her red cheeks, the way her heart would race at seeing who Eren had grown into.

She quickly looked away, ashamed that she was staring and horrified that someone could’ve seen her. No one was there though, not even Eren’s eyes flickered over to her. She looked back up to him, and sure enough his eyes were still on the sky. She wondered what was on his mind, where it was taking him to make him lay there so still, so calm. Maybe he was thinking about going home too, even though she knew it probably didn’t bring him any comfort. He lost his home too, like Mikasa.

Eren reached his hands from his sides and up behind his head. His arms were hidden by the sleeves of his tan jacket but Mikasa still saw the strength they now held even just in how he moved. His hands, his arms, they were always some of her favorite parts about him. His hands that clumsily wrapped a scarf around her, that held her hands leading her wherever he wanted to go, that brushed away tears and his arms that held her on the nights when dreams turned into nightmares. They always held such strength and comfort but now she could physically see how strong he had grown.

It was his shoulders she noticed the most though. They grew so broad, so firm, giving him an air of command, of more than just physical strength. She still saw the way he stood in front of her, his back and shoulders to her, shielding her from what was in front of them. She never saw him look so strong in his life than when he planted himself in front of her, determined to protect her at all costs. Mikasa’s breath hitched in her throat. She knew, by then she knew she was in love with him but it was like in that second of time she fell in love with him all over again. Even if he was scared to death he never showed it. He clenched his jaw and did everything he could.

He wasn’t that little boy any more who picked fights with people just cause he was mad. He was forced to grow up and he did. Here he was getting ready to try and do the impossible and he never complained. He took what he needed to do and he was determined to do it, she saw it in his face; that face she adored. He was fifteen and yet, he looked nothing like he did on his fifteen birthday. He looked older, wearier, tired almost. Where there was once a childish innocence behind his blue eyes, there was now sadness, but there was also fire. Not the bitter rage she saw after his mother died, but a desire to do what needed to be done for humanity.

She thought he probably still thought himself a monster, someone who could only cause more harm but when she looked at him all she could ever see was a hero. He was her hero and that never changed from the day he met her to this very moment. There was no one she loved more than him.

Mikasa took a few more steps towards him figuring she probably stood there far too long and if he noticed he might wonder that something was wrong. Heat filled her cheeks again at trying to explain why she was standing there. She pulled her scarf up over her mouth as she walked up to the hay bale, her eyes looking back up to Eren.

“You can come up,” he said, though he didn’t actually look down to her. “Dunno why you waited by the path so long.”

A jolt went through her body. He did see her. She wasn’t quite sure how but she climbed up on the hay bales hoping if he’d believe her that her face was red from the chill and not from the embarrassment of getting caught staring. Mikasa sat down next to him, crossing her legs, one of her knees brushing against his chest. Warmth filled her body just by being close to him; it also helped he seemed to have a higher body temperature than most, his body heat practically radiating next to her.

“Are you thinking about the mission?” she asked, her voice nearly being lost in the wind.

Eren shook his head, his eyes glancing over Mikasa. “I’m trying to remember what Shiganshina was like, before we had to leave. Do you remember?”

“Of course,” she said. “I remember the green grass, the bright colored flowers we used to pick for your mom.”

“All the back alley ways we’d take to get home faster so she didn’t yell at us.”

Mikasa felt a smile on her lips at the memory. “It never worked.”

“She was a super human I swear.” Eren looked back up at the sky. “The roof of the building we used to climb up to so Armin could read to us and no one would find us.”

“The way the sun climbed up over the wall every morning.”

“And we’d try and play in the shadow of the wall, pretending we were anywhere but.”

“Is this gonna work, Eren?” Mikasa breathed.

“Honestly, I have no idea.” He looked up to her. “I do know it’s the only chance we have. We have to trust Erwin.”

She nodded. Eren was right of course. There was no other option. It was trust their comrades or die.

“Mikasa?”

“Yeah?”

“You’ll come with us right?” For a moment there was such innocence in Eren’s eyes that he looked like he did laying under the sun in the field in Shiganshina.

“Come with you where?”

“To the ocean.”

It wasn’t the first time Mikasa heard Eren talk about the ocean; he told her about it when they were kids and she heard him and Armin talk about it quite often. It was something they had together though, something that was promised before her. “Oh, um.” She tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “If you want me to.”

“We’d never go without you, you know,” Eren said, his eyes meeting hers. “If we live through all of this, I’d want you to be there with me.”

Mikasa’s breath caught in her throat as she watched him.

He seemed to realize what he said because a bit of red started to spread across his cheeks. “And, um, I’m sure Armin feels the same way.”

“Of course.”

Eren looked back up to the sky. “Promise me. Promise me you’ll come with us.”

She knew what he was doing; making her promise to make plans with him after all of it was over. Please, he was saying, please don’t die. “Only if you do the same.”

A smile twitched at his lips though he didn’t look at her. He took one of his hands out from behind his head, laying his arm between them. “Okay, I promise.” He opened his hand, fingers wide enough for another set of fingers to lace through perfectly.

Maybe it was wrong. Who knows if they could keep these promises, who knew what was gonna happen in the coming weeks. At the same time, the comfort of his words, his warm and inviting skin open to her, that meant more. Being with him in a single moment meant more. If this was all they had, a brief touch a promise of better days, then Mikasa was happy.

She placed her hand over his, weaving her fingers with his as his warmth instantly enveloped her hand.

“I promise.”

 


	99. So On and On It Will Always Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So On and On It Will Always Be
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: Post Series; Very long post series where they’re both much older  
> Rating: K  
> Words: 1939

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from Jason! I had one left back when I asked him, so he got the last one. He asked for them at an old age surrounded by their family ^^ You have no idea how many times I actually almost turned this really sad but I didn’t, even if it was really tempting just for the feels. This one is just a happy little piece about their lives together. The title is from a Cole Porter song called “True Love” sung by Bing Crosby and Grace Kelly in the movie “High Society”.

 

There were so many people in the field that night. Most of whom Mikasa knew by name and face because most all of them were family. The thought alone made her smile as she over looked the variety of people sitting around tables, eating, talking, just enjoying the warm summer afternoon; most were dancing in front of the band that was playing at the head of the party as the sun set in the background. Everyone looked to be having a good time which is all Mikasa really wanted.

A few little ones ran by her table, laughing in whatever game they were playing. Two of them she didn’t recognize, probably kids from town, but the other two she knew; those were her great-grandchildren Mikasa reached over to rub her arm, already feeling the dull ache in her joints hoping it would hold off just a little while longer so she could keep enjoying the night. She couldn’t even believe it most of the time; that her own children were grown and then some of their children were grown enough to have their own children.

Mikasa never thought she’d lived to see such a day.

She sighed as she leaned back in her chair, the warm air blowing over her body and soothing out some of the aches. She could see her oldest, Nicolas, who always was a splitting image of his father even at an older age now. He was talking to his son who was now a man himself and who inherited some of his looks from his grandfather. The sight alone made Mikasa smile; even long after they were gone, bits of her and Eren would still be around, passed along down their future generations.

Eren was always less concerned about himself and more that their kids would look like her, that her family would have a lasting presence in the world, that it wasn’t forgotten. Nicolas and Carla always had Eren’s looks, but Isabelle, sometimes Mikasa felt like she was looking in the mirror when she looked at Iz. It didn’t stay just with her either; Isabelle’s son who was still a child himself looked more like Levi; something the older Ackerman was always pretty smug about before he passed.

Mikasa cleared her throat, trying to make the sudden lump go away. Most of her friends, her family had lived far longer than any of them ever expected but death is a part of life and one by one, they all had to leave.

“Are you okay, Mama?”

Mikasa looked over to see Riley, her youngest but still a man himself, standing behind her, a hand on her shoulder. “Oh, yes, I’m fine. Just enjoying the sights.”

“Okay,” he said with a smile. He was more of a mix of them; Mikasa’s dark hair but Eren’s bright eyes, her warm smile but his strong jaw. “You wanna come with me? I was gonna find Carla.”

“Oh, no, that’s okay,” Mikasa said. “I don’t mind waiting here. You go on.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

“Always.”

Riley smiled at her again before walking off into the crowd to find his oldest sister.

It was a sight to behold indeed.  Mikasa’s family, which used to just include herself and her parents, then Eren and his parents, and then just Eren and Armin was now all of this; children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. When she was a teenager, a solider, she never thought she’d see it but here she was. She lived through it all to have a family larger than she ever dreamed.

The music was still playing along happily, some upbeat number that had everyone dancing and had her foot tapping against the ground. She wasn’t sure who the players where, her kids hired them; well, they planned this whole thing to begin with. The wanted a celebration even though Mikasa was fine staying home. She couldn’t complain though, this was nice too. There was nothing better than seeing the people she loved enjoying themselves and being happy. She knew there was no greater gift.

“Why’re you sitting out here all alone?” The voice was soft though she heard the amusement in his tone, the smile on his lips.

She turned her head to see Eren leaning over her shoulder. He was older of course, much, much older than the first time they met but his eyes, they never changed. They were still as bright and as full of life as they were when he was nine years old. “Waiting for you to finally show up.”

“Now that’s not my fault. Blame that guy. He took his sweet time walking up here.” Eren waved vaguely over to where a white haired man was getting a big hug from Isabelle.

“I will blame Armin for no such thing. You were the one probably taking your time,” Mikasa said, reaching over to hit him gently in the chest.

“Well, I suppose I can’t deny that.” He was grinning though and it was absolutely impossible not to smile when he got like that. “Can I make it up to you?”

“Oh, how do you propose on doing that?”

He held his hand out to her. “May I have this dance?”

Like she’d ever say no. With a smile pulling at her lips she placed her hand in his and he carefully helped her to her feet. The music slowed down as Eren walked her closer to where the band was, where the others slowed their dancing as well. When he felt they were close enough he turned to face her, wrapping both his arms around her waist as he started to sway back and forth in time with the music playing. She reached her hands up around his neck and followed his lead.

It wasn’t much of dancing because neither of them had ever been that great at that particular social event but he was here with her, and that was really all she wanted. She loved her family, but it would be nothing without Eren.

“What were you thinking about?” he asked. “When you were sitting there alone.”

“Oh, you know, the usual,” she shrugged. “That I can’t believe we lived to see this.”

“It’s strange isn’t. It feels like life was never different than it is from now, but it used to be so different.”

“We were just children back then. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but we were babies.”

“We were,” he said thoughtfully. “But we survived, we survived that and a lot more.”

Mikasa leaned forward to rest her head against his shoulder. Isabelle was still talking to Armin on the other side of the dance area, her long black hair flowing down her back, young face smiling up at the man she knew her whole life. “Hey,” Mikasa said, nudging him so he’d look over. “You remember when I looked like that?”

“Mikasa,” he snorted, looking back over to her. “You still look like that.”

She pushed back to look him in the eye. “We’ve been married for fifty years, Eren. You don’t have to suck up to me anymore.”

“I’m not,” he said, though he was laughing. “Same beautiful black hair.” Eren reached his hands up her back to tug on it lightly for his point. “Same dark eyes, warm expressions, same heart, same woman.”

“Just with gray hairs and an aching body now.”

“In my eyes you still look like you’re sixteen again.”

“Liar,” she said with a laugh.

Eren leaned his face in a little closer to hers, that typical smile on his lips, the one that never changed from the day she met him. “Are you telling me that you don’t see look at me like we were kids?”

Well, it was true; that was his eyes though. No matter how old he got he still had that boyish charm he always did, he still had that energy, that passion.  She looked back to meet those eyes she loved so much and for a moment everyone else seemed to just fade away. The laughter turned distance, the music light in her ears.

Eren looked so young, as young as they were when they left the military years and years ago. She could see the happiness in his face, the excitement at the prospect of living a new life, a free one but she could also see the scars that cut deep; the ones that no matter how fast his body healed would never leave him. She could see him in his old uniform, the tan faded and the straps over his body worn out but his hands still held her tight, held her close.

Mikasa felt lighter, like years and years had been taken off of her, like she was a kid again herself. The world around them was so brighter, brighter than it should be at night. A smile pulled at her lips as she watched Eren, swaying back and forth to the distant music. The look in his eyes told her he was looking at her the same, like all those years past weren’t so past. She understood what he meant; that he always saw her the same, because she saw him the same. He was the same reckless, passionate boy he always had been, and she was the same strong, adoring girl she had always been. Some things time could never change.

He leaned in to kiss her and she melted all over again. Time could never change that; not now, not ever. When Eren pulled away they were back where they were just moments before, the lantern illuminated field surrounding them, the many voices coming back to them; their friends, their kids, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

“Would you ever go back and change anything?” he asked, his eyes still watching her.

Mikasa shook her head. She didn’t even really have to think about it. “Not one bit.” Maybe it was cruel. All the lives she could’ve saved should she have known what she knew now, but the way their life was led them to this, to this moment right here, and that she would never want to change. She only ever wanted to see Eren happy, to see him smiling. Mikasa would do everything she could to make sure that happened time and time again.

Her legs gave out a little, old injuries acting up but Eren was there to hold her up against him just like he always had. Her head leaned against his shoulder again and her eyes fluttered shut. “I’d go back and do it all over again with you.”

He chuckled, hand moving to hold her back, keeping her steady against him. “Me too.”

They lived through hell, and then had a piece of heaven for so many years. She didn’t know what would come next, what it would be like when their time came, many years after they thought it would. She didn’t know if this was it, nothing to come but being laid to rest next to the one person she loved for so long or if there was another life to come, one without war and one without suffering where she’d get to see her friends again, where she’d get to be with Eren again. Regardless of what was to come, she knew it would be okay. She led a good life here. They led a good life here.

Whatever was next was a new adventure; one she knew would be okay if Eren was still by her side and she knew he always would be. He promised after all and Eren never broke a promise to her.

 

 


	100. It Feels Like Home to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It Feels Like Home to Me
> 
> Pairing: Eren/Mikasa  
> Setting: In canon; Before they leave for Shiganshina  
> Rating: K+  
> Words: 2062

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, here it is. The very last entry for this set! When I started this two years ago I never in a million years it would end in 100 chapters, and 600 reviews. Like it blows my mind. Thank all of you so much for giving me such encouragement to keep going all the way to the end! I never had a fandom that was so sweet and so supportive before. I cannot be more appreciative for the way you’ve made me smile, challenged me, and made me feel like all the weeks and months of writing I do are all worth it. It’s bittersweet that I let my very first piece go, the stepping stones I took to get where I am now.
> 
> That being said it’s still not goodbye! I have zombie AU I’m still working on, and the massive amount of stories I post on tumblr (that will be added into collections here whenever I decide my time in the fandom is complete ^^) . I have the AU challenge set to complete too plus a few other projects to help on.
> 
> I saved this one for the very last one and it’s very much inspired by the whole collection here and of course the song I named for the title, “Feels Like Home” by Chantal Kreviazuk.  It’s a song I knew was theirs from day one of my loving this ship, and it will forever be a song close to my heart after everything I put into this set.
> 
> Thank you guys so much. I’d never have grown like I did if it wasn’t for your support!

 

Eren wasn’t sure what time it even was anymore; past midnight probably, before dawn definitely. Yet even as he stared at the moon outside the window knowing it would turn to a sun far too soon he couldn’t fall asleep. They’d be leaving for Shiganshina soon, and who knows if they’d ever come back. Months and months of training and planning and Eren had no idea what would even come of it. They had to try of course and he wanted to try but he knew deep down it very well may end where it all began.

Was he okay with that? Guess that was the question of the hour. It wasn’t his first time going into something and wondering if he was gonna come out alive, but this seemed so much heavier. He knew the type of mission this was, he very well knew who he’d be meeting in his ruined village. This is what everything led up to.

Eren reached up to rub his hands over his eyes. Even though he tried not to move too much, the action must’ve been just enough to make Mikasa stir next to him. He looked over to see her still sleeping face nestled into the pillow, the rest of her body bundled under his blankets to keep warm. It didn’t look like he woke her up at all thankfully. Without even thinking he reached over to brush some of her bangs from her face so they didn’t tickle her and really wake her up.

Mikasa, who almost constantly had her forehead wrinkled in worry, always looked so peaceful when she slept. When the nightmares didn’t strike, when the body aches weren’t so strong, when the worry of the next day didn’t stress her too much, she could just rest. She pushed herself for him, for so many people, that Eren loved these moments the best. The times she could just breathe and take a break from the hell that surrounded them every day.

He didn’t just let her stay in his room because she still had nightmares or because it was habit at this point. He did it so he could make sure she was safe, that she was peacefully sleeping. Eren knew he couldn’t do a lot of things right, but watching over her, that was something he would do for as long as he could.

“I remember when you used to sleep in my bed every night,” he murmured softly. “When we were kids, do you remember that?”

There was no answer of course; she was sound asleep. He leaned his head back against the headboard of the bed eyes still looking down at her.

“I do. Even if you thought I was asleep when you did, I never was. I always woke up when you cried and waited for you in case going to you would embarrass you. You always did have a strong sense of pride, never wanted anyone to see you cry, see you upset. You wanted to show the world your brave face and be strong for me and Armin.”

More light breaths came from her lips, eyes still closed.

“I’m okay with dying, Mikasa,” he spoke, his voice no higher than a whisper; mainly because he knew she’d probably hit him if she heard him talking like that. “Really, if that is what it takes to save you, Armin, everyone, then I’d do it in a heartbeat. If I knew you’d be safe, then it’d be worth it.”

With the amount of times Eren nearly was killed, he was very well aware of his own mortality, that even with his enhanced body, his quick healing, it couldn’t save everything. Shifters could still be killed just as Titans could. He was young, barely even sixteen; it seemed like such a short life when it was put like that. It was, sixteen years out of a possible of eighty seemed like nothing , just a scratch in the sand. Yet, they had been through so much that it seemed like these past years were triple what they actually were.

His mom always said they’d go when it was their time to go. Sometimes that time felt so unfair and so robbed. How was it her time to go when Eren still needed her? When Mikasa still needed a mom? How was that right? He spent so long being angry and bitter over lives taken to early but now that he faced his own future going back to his hometown at his own young age, he understood what his mom meant. Her time was when Eren and Mikasa needed to get to safety; his mom made her time but gave them life. Eren knew if that same time came for him, he’d give it too.

“What do you think comes after this?” he murmured. “Some of those religions, they believe in a heaven and a hell, one for good and one for bad. I guess I’m not very sure where we stand. I’m not sure if there even is a God let alone what he’d think of what we turned this world into. Titans, killing Titans who were actually once presumably innocent people.”

Mikasa still didn’t answer which was fine, he was more or less just voicing the thoughts in his head with no expectation for her to hear them or even return a conversation. Just having her there was comforting enough.

He couldn’t imagine his life without her there with him every step of the way. They met by sheer miracle. If Eren and his dad hadn’t gone the exact time that they did, Mikasa would’ve been gone and Eren would’ve never gotten the chance to have her in his life. God, what a horrible life that would’ve been. He had Armin, he had his friends, the Scouting Legion but Mikasa, she was different. She was a ray of sunlight in this whole shitty place. He’d be dead ten times over without her.

“Do you think there’re other lives?” he mused. “Like different worlds completely where we grow up with no Titans, no fighting. Where our parents are still alive, our friends we lost still there. Where there’s no dread every morning, no living in fear.”

It really did seem like a dream. Maybe his parents would’ve had a bigger house and maybe his dad would’ve been a doctor at a fancy hospital. Maybe his parents would’ve even had more kids; maybe Eren would’ve had a little sister to take care of. Maybe Armin would’ve lived next to Eren, Mikasa too. She would’ve grown up with her parents, who got to see her become the amazing woman she was. Or maybe it was never meant to be and she still lost her parents but his mom and dad would still be there ready to take her in and love her like she was their own. Or maybe Levi would be there, and he would take her in, giving her a warm home where Eren could visit whenever he wanted to.

There in those worlds he could’ve told her exactly how he felt about her, how much he always loved her no matter how poorly he treated her in the past, how badly he misread her. They could grow up together but not in the military, not fighting. They could play, go to school, do whatever they wanted to do and never have to worry about their bodies being broken by strong hands and large teeth. They could grow up and they could get married and have a family of their own, just like Mikasa always wanted.

Or they may have never met in childhood. Maybe they meet by happenstance; on the street, in a restaurant, at school, at work, at a party. They wouldn’t have all the same relationship they have now but Eren was pretty sure no matter where he saw those beautiful eyes of hers that kind and loving spirit, he’d still be drawn to her. He’d still find her even then.

Here in this world it seemed like such a farfetched dream, something that was never meant to be but maybe in another world, another life it was normal. It was simply the way it was.

“I like that.”

Eren nearly jumped at Mikasa’s sudden voice cutting through his thoughts. He looked down at her so see her still all bundled up but her eyes wide awake and watching him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

She shook her head. “You didn’t, I was already half awake.”

He extended his arm to her and Mikasa easily moved into him, resting her head on his shoulder. Eren sighed as her warm presence next to him started to east the knots in his stomach. He supposed it was too good to think Mikasa would be able to sleep through the night with so much going on around them.  

“Do you really think there’re other worlds? Other lifetimes?” Mikasa asked though when Eren looked down at her she was staring out the window next to them.

Eren shrugged. “I have no idea. It’s a nice thought though, huh.”

“Do you think everyone would be there again?”

“Probably, or out there somewhere.”

She paused for a moment. “Would we remember this life?”

“I’d guess not. I mean we don’t remember if we’ve had any other life but this one so I’d assume it would be kinda the same thing.”

She was quiet as she laid against him, one hand on his chest and the other tucked underneath her somewhere. In fact she was so quiet Eren thought she might’ve fallen asleep again but when he looked at her she was still watching the moon out the window.

“What if we wake up in a different life and you aren’t there?” Her voice was so quiet Eren almost didn’t hear her.

“Then I’ll just have to find you again.”

Mikasa chuckled lightly and it brought a small smile to his lips. He loved hearing her laugh, no matter how soft it was. “How would you know? If you don’t remember how would you know to find me?”

“Mikasa,” he said, his fingers trailing against her shoulder, tracing small circles against the fabric of her shirt. “Some things can transcend even lifetimes.”

“You heard that from Armin.”

“Yeah, I did, but I think he’s right.” He let his eyes close as he leaned his head gently against hers. “I think I’d know that something was missing, that something was wrong. I might not know who or what, but I’d know you were missing.”

“How?” she breathed.

“Easy,” he murmured back. “Everything feels right in place when I’m with you, it just feels like its where I’m supposed to be, you know?”

She nodded against him. “It feels like home.”

“It does,” he said, a smile on his lips again. “Wherever you are, that’s home.”  That’s the way it had always been. As much as he remembered the time before Mikasa came to stay with them, at the same time it felt like he never lived his life without her and God, he would never want to.

She was quiet, probably falling back asleep again and Eren understood. His eyes were already closed, his limbs heavy as the late night finally hit him, or it was her comforting touch that lulled his anxieties away. He had no idea what he’d ever do without her. A lifetime without her seemed so insane. How could he ever live without the one person who never gave up on him, who believed in him when he didn’t even believe in himself? Who gave him strength when he didn’t even think he could move on and who always reminded him that this world, as shitty as it was, it could never be all bad because she was here.

“Mikasa?” His voice was barely a whisper.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll always find you, you know that right? In this lifetime and in any other.” He could hear her breath hitch in her throat but if she was looking at him he didn’t know.

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He left it at that, letting her fall back asleep against but the words rang out in his head, searing them into his mind so he’d never forget.

_I love you in this lifetime and I’d love you in a million more._

 


End file.
